The Atom Ant Show (1965–1968): Season 1, Episode 2 - Crankenshaft's Monster - full transcript
Dr. Crankenshaft M.D.(Mad Doctor) has created a monster to help him conquer the world.Everything goes his way until they rob a bank and Atom Ant is alerted.
(male narrator)Up and at 'em, it's Atom Ant.
He's strength, he's might,he's speed, he's fight.
He's Atom Ant, that tiny ant
and his atomic powerhas what it takes
and always makesthe vilest villain cower.
He's rough, he's tough
and bad guys yell enough
when he is up and at 'em,Atom Ant.
[music continues]
thud
bang bang
kaboom
[instrumental music]
(male narrator)On a barren hilltop,far from town
way outof the high-rent district
we find the laboratoryof one way-out scientist
Dr. Crankenshaft, MD.
Uh, oh, uh, Dr. Crankenshaft.
- Yes?
-What does the MD stand for?
Mad doctor. What else?
[chuckles]
Now, if you'll excuse me
I have something cookin'.
Oh, certainly, doctor.
Ah, preparin' a dish
from a favoriteold family recipe?
You might say that.
[chuckles]
Let's see now.
Where was I? Oh, yes!
Fold in one old inner tube,
vintage 1920
and a pair of used combat boots
and a half dozen hand grenades
und a pinch of salt.
-A pinch of salt?
- Don't ask me.
- The recipe calls for it.
-Oh, of course.
'And now stir.'
'Hah! I believe I've done it.'
Yes, I have done it!
I believe you have, doctor,but what have you done?
splat
I have created a glob
a monster
I can call my very own.
[slurping]
Um, yeah, yeah.
A monster?But isn't he kind of small?
'Mm, what did you expect?'
'Compacts are the rage,
you know?'
Compact cars, compact purses,
even compact compacts.
- Why not a compact monster?
-Why not?
Hah, and not only compact,
but indestructible too.
[laughs]
Oh, my, didn't that hurt?
[slurping]
Nah.
And now, my little glob,
we must be on our way.
We have a big job ahead of us.
Job, doctor? What are you going to do?
What any mad doctor
with a monster would do.
Conquer the world!
Conquer the world?With that little guy?
Oh, yes, I forgot to mention.
My glob is a gobbling glob.
'He gobbles anything inside'
'and with every bite'
'he will grow
into a bigger glob.'
[laughs]
And only after the world
has surrendered to me
will I order him
to stop gobbling.
Why, he is growing.Doctor, you're absolutely mad.
What else is new?
[laughs]
Ah, but it's nice to get out
of that stuffy patrol car
and rest in the shade
of this tree.
chomp chomp
Say, what's that strange sound?
Hey, the shade's gone.
No wonder, the tree's gone!
That's right, chief,
I was standing
in the shade of this tree
when I heard a strange sound
and then the tree disappeared.
chomp chomp
Wait!
There it is again!
And now my car's gone.
This must be my day
for losing things.
chomp chomp
Wow, it's a monster
'eating up everything
in its path!'
[slurping]
That's right, chief.
It's about 7 foot 8.
No, 8 foot 7.
Better make that 9 foot 10.
Uh, no, 10 foot 9.
(man on radio)
'Calling all cops,
calling all cops'
'be on the lookout
for Dr. Crankenshaft.'
'Height, 4 foot 3.
Age, around medieval.'
'Be careful,
he's a mad, mad, mad doctor.'
There's the doctor, sergeant.
'When last seen,
he was following a glob'
'height, 20 foot 2,
devouring everything in sight.'
Eek! And there is the glob.
(male #1)
'Well, let's not just sit here.
Let's do something.'
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Ah, good idea, glob.
chomp
Let's pay the bank
a little visit.
[slurps]
Yeah, yeah.
A change will do me good.
Ha ha ha!
How do you do, sir?
Do you wish to make a deposit?
No, my glob wishes
to make a withdrawal.
[slurps]
Um, yeah, yeah.
Eek! We're being robbed
by a glob!
Eat the door off the vault,
glob.
Good boy. Now help yourself
to some greens.
Cabbage,mazula.
[laughs]
- Money!
- 'Yeah, yeah.'
[glob slurps]
[Crankenshaft laughing]
[bell ringing]
Go ahead and laugh, doctor
but it looks like your gameof follow-the-glob is up
for at this very moment
the soundof the bank burglar alarm
has reachednone other than Atom Ant!
What's this?
I'm receiving the sound
of the burglar alarm
through my ant antennas.
Someone is robbing the bank,
and that's against the law.
Up and at 'em, Atom Ant!
whoosh
I'm rich.
[laughs]
Today the bank,
tomorrow the world!
Eh, my pet? Uh, uff, glob?
Oh, my God, it's eaten its way
out the back of the bank
and I told it to stay with me.
whoosh
So, Dr. Crankenshaft, it's you.
Atom Ant! Now, listen, Atom.
I'm harmless.
'It's my glob that you want.'
Your glob? Which way did it go?
- That way.
- 'What, a glob did that?'
It won't obey me anymore.
It's acting on its own now.
Oh, yeah?
Well, we'll see about that.
Up and at 'em, Atom Ant!
Retreat, men.
That glob is indestructible.
[glob mumbling]
You can say that again.
Let the Air Corp have one.
[droning]
[glob mumbling]
Help! Let me out of here!
That thing isn't human!
So you're the glob, eh?
[slurps]
Yeah, yeah.
Well, what are you waiting for?
'Why don't you try
gobbling me up?'
[slurps]
Yuck!
Just as I thought.
It doesn't like ants.
Not enough protein, you know?
Oops!
thud
So that's it.
Trying to squish me, will you?
[slurping]
Yeah, yeah.
Now I'll show you
how I handle monsters.
I give 'em the ol' slim spin
and trim 'em down to size.
Up you go!
splat
Now we settle this eye to eye.
bang
splat
Oh, well,
back to the drawing board.
[slurping]
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that about wraps up case
number 6-0-7-4-3 for Atom Ant.
Atom Ant, up and at 'em!
whoosh
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
(male narrator) Up and at 'em, it's Atom Ant.
He's strength, he's might,he's speed, he's fight.
He's Atom Ant, that tiny ant
and his atomic powerhas what it takes
and always makesthe vilest villain cower.
He's rough, he's tough,and bad guys yell enough
when he is up and at 'em,Atom Ant!
thud
bang bang
kaboom
He's strength, he's might,he's speed, he's fight.
He's Atom Ant, that tiny ant
and his atomic powerhas what it takes
and always makesthe vilest villain cower.
He's rough, he's tough
and bad guys yell enough
when he is up and at 'em,Atom Ant.
[music continues]
thud
bang bang
kaboom
[instrumental music]
(male narrator)On a barren hilltop,far from town
way outof the high-rent district
we find the laboratoryof one way-out scientist
Dr. Crankenshaft, MD.
Uh, oh, uh, Dr. Crankenshaft.
- Yes?
-What does the MD stand for?
Mad doctor. What else?
[chuckles]
Now, if you'll excuse me
I have something cookin'.
Oh, certainly, doctor.
Ah, preparin' a dish
from a favoriteold family recipe?
You might say that.
[chuckles]
Let's see now.
Where was I? Oh, yes!
Fold in one old inner tube,
vintage 1920
and a pair of used combat boots
and a half dozen hand grenades
und a pinch of salt.
-A pinch of salt?
- Don't ask me.
- The recipe calls for it.
-Oh, of course.
'And now stir.'
'Hah! I believe I've done it.'
Yes, I have done it!
I believe you have, doctor,but what have you done?
splat
I have created a glob
a monster
I can call my very own.
[slurping]
Um, yeah, yeah.
A monster?But isn't he kind of small?
'Mm, what did you expect?'
'Compacts are the rage,
you know?'
Compact cars, compact purses,
even compact compacts.
- Why not a compact monster?
-Why not?
Hah, and not only compact,
but indestructible too.
[laughs]
Oh, my, didn't that hurt?
[slurping]
Nah.
And now, my little glob,
we must be on our way.
We have a big job ahead of us.
Job, doctor? What are you going to do?
What any mad doctor
with a monster would do.
Conquer the world!
Conquer the world?With that little guy?
Oh, yes, I forgot to mention.
My glob is a gobbling glob.
'He gobbles anything inside'
'and with every bite'
'he will grow
into a bigger glob.'
[laughs]
And only after the world
has surrendered to me
will I order him
to stop gobbling.
Why, he is growing.Doctor, you're absolutely mad.
What else is new?
[laughs]
Ah, but it's nice to get out
of that stuffy patrol car
and rest in the shade
of this tree.
chomp chomp
Say, what's that strange sound?
Hey, the shade's gone.
No wonder, the tree's gone!
That's right, chief,
I was standing
in the shade of this tree
when I heard a strange sound
and then the tree disappeared.
chomp chomp
Wait!
There it is again!
And now my car's gone.
This must be my day
for losing things.
chomp chomp
Wow, it's a monster
'eating up everything
in its path!'
[slurping]
That's right, chief.
It's about 7 foot 8.
No, 8 foot 7.
Better make that 9 foot 10.
Uh, no, 10 foot 9.
(man on radio)
'Calling all cops,
calling all cops'
'be on the lookout
for Dr. Crankenshaft.'
'Height, 4 foot 3.
Age, around medieval.'
'Be careful,
he's a mad, mad, mad doctor.'
There's the doctor, sergeant.
'When last seen,
he was following a glob'
'height, 20 foot 2,
devouring everything in sight.'
Eek! And there is the glob.
(male #1)
'Well, let's not just sit here.
Let's do something.'
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Ah, good idea, glob.
chomp
Let's pay the bank
a little visit.
[slurps]
Yeah, yeah.
A change will do me good.
Ha ha ha!
How do you do, sir?
Do you wish to make a deposit?
No, my glob wishes
to make a withdrawal.
[slurps]
Um, yeah, yeah.
Eek! We're being robbed
by a glob!
Eat the door off the vault,
glob.
Good boy. Now help yourself
to some greens.
Cabbage,mazula.
[laughs]
- Money!
- 'Yeah, yeah.'
[glob slurps]
[Crankenshaft laughing]
[bell ringing]
Go ahead and laugh, doctor
but it looks like your gameof follow-the-glob is up
for at this very moment
the soundof the bank burglar alarm
has reachednone other than Atom Ant!
What's this?
I'm receiving the sound
of the burglar alarm
through my ant antennas.
Someone is robbing the bank,
and that's against the law.
Up and at 'em, Atom Ant!
whoosh
I'm rich.
[laughs]
Today the bank,
tomorrow the world!
Eh, my pet? Uh, uff, glob?
Oh, my God, it's eaten its way
out the back of the bank
and I told it to stay with me.
whoosh
So, Dr. Crankenshaft, it's you.
Atom Ant! Now, listen, Atom.
I'm harmless.
'It's my glob that you want.'
Your glob? Which way did it go?
- That way.
- 'What, a glob did that?'
It won't obey me anymore.
It's acting on its own now.
Oh, yeah?
Well, we'll see about that.
Up and at 'em, Atom Ant!
Retreat, men.
That glob is indestructible.
[glob mumbling]
You can say that again.
Let the Air Corp have one.
[droning]
[glob mumbling]
Help! Let me out of here!
That thing isn't human!
So you're the glob, eh?
[slurps]
Yeah, yeah.
Well, what are you waiting for?
'Why don't you try
gobbling me up?'
[slurps]
Yuck!
Just as I thought.
It doesn't like ants.
Not enough protein, you know?
Oops!
thud
So that's it.
Trying to squish me, will you?
[slurping]
Yeah, yeah.
Now I'll show you
how I handle monsters.
I give 'em the ol' slim spin
and trim 'em down to size.
Up you go!
splat
Now we settle this eye to eye.
bang
splat
Oh, well,
back to the drawing board.
[slurping]
Yeah, yeah.
Well, that about wraps up case
number 6-0-7-4-3 for Atom Ant.
Atom Ant, up and at 'em!
whoosh
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
(male narrator) Up and at 'em, it's Atom Ant.
He's strength, he's might,he's speed, he's fight.
He's Atom Ant, that tiny ant
and his atomic powerhas what it takes
and always makesthe vilest villain cower.
He's rough, he's tough,and bad guys yell enough
when he is up and at 'em,Atom Ant!
thud
bang bang
kaboom