The Angry Beavers (1997–2001): Season 1, Episode 3 - Gift Hoarse/Go Beavers! - full transcript

( lively dance music playing )

[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

♪ A-A-A-ANGRY BEAVERS ♪

♪ BEAVERS. ♪

OH, BOY, OH, BOY,
OH, BUDDY BOY!

ARBOR DAY!

CHRISTMAS FOR BEAVERS
EVERYWHERE!

ARBOR CAROLS.

NUTMEG FIZZES.

THE YULE LOG FEAST!



THE MERRY RANGER
AND HIS EIGHT SHINY 4x4s.

AND THE JOY OF GETTING GIFTS.

EH, OOPS! I MEAN, GIVING.

HEH-HEH, THE GIVING OF GIFTS.

HEY, NORBIE-ORBIE-O!

WAKE UP!

( snoring )

WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY!

COME ON, LET'S
OPEN THE GIFTS!

LET'S GO BACK TO SLEEP.

WE CAN SLEEP LATER.

TODAY'S ARBOR DAY,
BEAVER CHRISTMAS.

TOYS, GIFTS,
FUN, EXCITEMENT---

YIPPEE!



HERE WE GO.

HIP, HIP...

IT'S ARBOR DAY... HOORAY!

( snoring )

( snoring )

( yawning )

( blubbering )

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

ENOUGH! I'M AWAKE.

TERRIFIC-O. LET'S GO!

♪ LA-DEE-DAH ♪

IT'S ARBOR DAY!

COME ON, HURRY!

♪ MM-MM-MM ♪

♪ MM-MM-MM ♪

♪ AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH ♪

♪ EE-AH-AH ♪

♪ AH-AH-AH-MM ♪

( continues humming merrily )

( man whistling )

( panting ) I GOT IT.

Daggett:
NO, I GOT IT.

NO, IT'S MINE.

( both squabbling )

I GOT IT!

I... GOT IT!

WHAT'S IN
THE PINK SALAD?

GRANDMA'S CORN.

Delivery man:
HERE YOU GO, FELLAS!

HAPPY ARBOR DAY,
FROM MOM AND DAD.

WOW!

VERY NICE.

( panting )

WHOA, BIG FELLA.

WAIT, MY
TRUSTY STALLION.

( sighs )

DAGGETT, I'M
SURPRISED AT YOU.

WHA? WHA? WHAT?

THE FAMILY TRADITION

MY FORGETFUL
BUT HANDSOME FRIEND.

HAH?

YES, THE BEAVER
FAMILY TRADITION.

THE OLDEST BEAVER OPENS
HIS GIFT FIRST.

WELL, NORBERT, I...

BEING THAT I'M
FOUR MINUTES OLDER

THAN MY FAVORITE BROTHER

A LOVING BEAVER
WHO TRULY BELIEVES

IN FAMILY TRADITION.

I GUESS.

SO OUR TRADITION IS--

AND BEING
A BEAVER MYSELF...

TANK YOU, DEAR BROTHER

THANK YOU...

FOR HOLDING SACRED
THE BELIEFS

THAT MAKE ME PROUD
TO SAY, "I'M A BEAVER."

( tearing paper )

HERE, I'LL HELP!

LET ME HELP.

NOW, NOW.

THIS ONE'S MINE.

ACK, EEH, UCK...

( clearing throat )

EEH?

THERE! I DID IT!

WOW!

AH! CALL MY TURN.

( whimpers )

GEE, DAGGIE

THAT'S A...

GREAT GIFT.

WISH I'D GOTTEN ONE...
SORT OF.

HEY, HOW ABOUT A TRADE?

YOU CAN HAVE MY COOL
NEW TRAIN SET

AND I'LL PLAY WITH
YOUR, YOUR...

COOL LITTLE PINE TREE
AIR THINGIE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY? HMM?

( woodenly ):
WHY? THIS IS WHAT
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED.

( sighs in relief )

AH, GREAT.

I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE

YOU'D LIKE THE TRAIN BETTER?

NOPE, I'LL KEEP MY LITTLE TREE

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

( sighs in relief )

( to himself ):
♪ CHA-CHA-CHOO-CHOO ♪

♪ WHOO-WHOO! ♪

♪ TRAIN GOES DOWN THE TRACK ♪

♪ CHOO-CHOO-CHOO,
WHOO-WHOO! ♪

♪ TRAIN FALLS DOWN
A CRACK. ♪

HAH! WHO NEEDS A STUPID
OLD HUGE, COOL TRAIN SET

WHEN THEY HAVE...

A LIGHTLY SCENTED
CARDBOARD PINE TREE?

HALT, BAD VILLAIN!

I AM MUSCULAR BEAVER
WITH SECRET POWERS!

POWERS SO SECRET, EVEN I
DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE!

TRY TO FLEE

AND YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH

OF MY MIGHTIEST OF WEAPONS!

MEET PINE-O-RANG...

AND KNOW FEAR.

( whoosh )

( clunks )

HAH!

YOU DARE TO USE
MY OWN WEAPON AGAINST...

ME?!

DAG, COME HERE,
YOU GOT TO SEE THIS.

MY TRAIN COMES WITH
LOTS OF COOL STUFF!

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY
PLAYING WITH MY TREE?

GREAT! WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED,
COME ON OUT.

I NEVER HAD A TOY SO COOL!

HEY... GROOVY COSTUME.

SPREAD OUT, MEN!

THIS WILL TAKE
ALL OUR FIREPOWER!

( imitates radio static )

IT'S TOO BIG, SIR!

WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP
ITS REIGN OF TERROR!

( growling )

( gasps )

A GIANT WALKING PINE TREE!

OH, THE HORROR!

OH, THE FRESH, CLEAN SCENT!

( growling )

( as officer again ):
THERE IT IS, MEN.

FIRE, FIRE AT WILL!

( imitating explosion )

MOMMY, MOMMY!

( growling )

( grunting )

( train horn tooting )

( panting )

( train bell ringing )

( horn tooting )

COME ON, DAG, HOP ON!

I'LL TAKE YOU FOR
A SPIN AROUND THE LAYOUT.

( grunts in frustration )

I HATE YOU.

♪ NO MORE TRAIN ♪

♪ NO MORE CHOO-CHOO ♪

♪ NO MORE STINKY PINE TREE! ♪

♪ THAT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME ♪

♪ BUT I DON'T CARE ♪

♪ NO MORE TRAIN! ♪

( giggles giddily )

( grunts )

DAG, IS THAT YOU?

NO, UH... NO!

OKAY, I JUST THOUGHT

YOU MIGHT BE SNEAKING AROUND
OR SOMETHING.

( train whistle toots )

( horn blaring )

DE-TRACK, DE-TRAIN, DERAIL.

( screams )

HEY, DAGGIE, WHAT'S UP?

♪ DEE-DA-DEE-DEE-
DA-DEE-DEE ♪

♪ ME AND MY LITTLE TREE ♪

♪ HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! ♪

SOMETIMES I WORRY ABOUT HIM.

( train horn tooting )

MR. FREIGHT TRAIN

MEET MR. PASSENGER TRAIN...

HEAD ON!

( laughs maniacally )

( horns sounding )

( grunting )

HEH!

( horn blaring )

HEH!

( horn blaring )

EEK!

( screeching )

( sighs in relief )

( horns sounding )

DAG!

YOU ALL RIGHT?

( snaps fingers )

STERLING.

THANKS FOR
TROUBLESHOOTING
THAT SWITCH.

I GOT TO TAKE
A LOOK AT THAT.

( growling )

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

ONCE AND FOR ALL

THIS TRAIN IS GOING DOWN!

THERE! FINISHED.

THIS IS THE BEST TOY
A BEAVER EVER HAD.

HEY, DAG, WHERE ARE YOU?

COME LOOK AT THIS.

( horn blaring )

( clank )

( yelling )

( horn blaring )

( metal scraping )

( metal scraping

STOP, YOU'RE WRECKING
EVERYTHING!

HEY! LET GO!

OF THE ROPE.

( both yelling )

( crashing )

BOY! THAT WAS NUTS!

WELP, YOU REALLY

OUTDID YOURSELF
THIS TIME.

I JUST WANT
TO KNOW WHY, DAG.

WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY?

UH, WHICH WHY
SHOULD I ANSWER FIRST?

PICK ONE!

WELL, IT WAS JUST
THAT I...

YOU KNOW, I WAS...

WELL, OKAY,
I WAS A TEENY BIT...

YOU WERE...?

ALL RIGHT!
I WAS JEALOUS

OF YOUR COOL TOY!

'CAUSE MINE
WAS SO STINKY.

DAG, DAG, DAG.

DIDN'T I OFFER YOU THE CHANCE

TO PLAY WITH MY TRAIN?

YES.

YES, AND YET
YOU LET YOUR PRIDE

MAKE YOU JEALOUS

OF YOUR OWN BROTHER'S
TRAIN SET.

YEAH.

SO... ( yells ):
YOU MESSED IT ALL UP

AND NOW NEITHER OF US
CAN PLAY WITH IT!

YOU CAN HAVE
MY LITTLE TREE.

THAT'S VERY NICE.

THANK YOU.

( "doorbell" rattles )

SORRY YOU ONLY GOT
THE TREE BEFORE.

THE GIFT WAS SO LARGE

I HAD TO MAKE IT
TWO DELIVERIES.

HERE'S
THE REMOTE CONTROL.

HAVE FUN!

WOWA BOCA!

HEY, DAGGETT

LOOK AT THE COOL NEW TOY!

HEY, PAL.

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Good evening, sports fans!

Welcome to Beaver Stadium.

This is your announcer,
Ty Cooke.

It's time for Beaver football!

GO... BEAVERS!

HA... YES!

HO-HO, BOY, THE BEAVERS

ARE GOING TO
KILL THESE GUYS.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY
THEY BOTHERED TO SHOW UP.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S
A TEENY-TINY CHANCE

THEY COULD LOSE.

SHUT UP,
YOU'LL JINX THEM.

YOU THINK MAYBE YOU
NEED TO LIGHTEN UP

JUST A LITTLE BIT,
DAGOLINI?

NO.

SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY
COME TO GAMES

TO KICK BACK, HAVE FUN.

YEAH, RIGHT.

( slurping )

HEY, THEY'RE KICKING OFF!

( rumbling )

( crowd cheering )

( siren wailing )

( pop )

IS THAT, UH,
SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?

SHUT UP.

( rumbling )

( man screams )

( siren wailing )

( organ plays charge )

( rumbling )

( man groans )

( siren wailing )

( rumbling )

( man grunts )

( siren wailing )

( organ plays off-key )

( booing and jeering )

Man:
...WASTE OF MY TIME.

( air horn sounds sourly )

( booing and yelling )

Man:
BOO!

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT,
NORBERT BEAVER.

YOU JINXED THEM!

WAKE UP AND SMELL
THE ARTIFICIAL TURF!

THE BEAVERS HAVEN'T WON
A GAME IN 23 SEASONS.

YOUR POINT BEING?

DON'T TAKE IT
PERSONALLY.

LOOSEN UP, HAVE FUN.

EH...

IT'S ONLY A GAME.

( gibbering )

FOOTBALL?!
ONLY A GAME?!

MM-HMM.

BLASPHEMER!

ARE YOU MAD?!

NO, STOP, D...

GEEZ, I WISH DAG WOULD LEARN
TO RELAX A LITTLE.

YOU KNOW, THEY SAY
THE BEST WAY TO TEACH

IS TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE.

SO, I GUESS I'LL JUST
HAVE TO HAVE SOME FUN...

FOR DAG'S SAKE.

MUMBLE, MUMBLE...

STEELY DETERMINATION...

I'LL SHOW THEM HOW TO
PLAY FOOTBALL, ETCETERA.

( screams )

OOF!

( screaming )

( siren wailing )

( grunting )

HIT...

EE!

( air horn blowing )

READY, SET...

HIKE!

( crowd roars )

YOW, OH, BOY!

THROW ME THE BALL, I'M OPEN!

YEAH, I WANT THE BALL!

GET THAT UGLY WEASEL
WITH THE BALL.

( shrieks )

( plunk )

HAVING FUN YET?

DOES IT LOOK LIKE

I'M HAVING FUN?

NO.

( blows whistle )

15-YARD PENALTY:

NOT HAVING FUN
AT THE GAME.

NOT HAVING FUN
AT THE GAME?!

THERE IS
NO SUCH PENALTY.

STOP GOOFING AROUND.

( blows whistle )

TAKING THE GAME
TOO SERIOUSLY--

ANOTHER 15 YARDS.

WHOSE SIDE
ARE YOU ON, ANYWAY?

THE SIDE OF GOOD,
CLEAN FUN, MY FRIEND.

YOU CAN'T CALL
THOSE PENALTIES.

( blows whistle )

ARGUING WITH THE REF,
15 YARDS.

( sputtering )

I WAS NOT ARGUING!

( blows whistle )

WERE TOO.
WAS NOT.

WERE TOO.
WAS NOT.

WERE TOO.
WAS NOT.

WERE TOO.
WAS NOT.

WERE TOO.
WAS NOT.

WERE TOO.

WAS...

TOUCHDOWN, VISITORS.

( crowd roaring )

( band playing )

( muttering ):
MUTTERING ANGRILY.

MUMBLE, MUMBLE, MUMBLE.

I KNOW IT LOOKS
PRETTY GRIM RIGHT NOW, SON

BUT WHEN THE GOING GETS GRIM,
THE GRIM GET GOING.

SO GET GRIM
AND GET GOING!

( organ plays charge )

MUTTERING ANGRILY.

Man:
AUDIBLE.

HUT. HUT. HUT!

Daggett:
OOH!

( crashing )

( Daggett shrieking )

( whistle blowing )

( rumbling )

( screaming... )

( bang )

( screaming again )

( crash )

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS...

IS KLIEG SPACKLE.

IN ALL MY YEARS OF
BROADCASTING ATHLETIC EVENTS

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING
LIKE THE ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE

THIS YOUNG ATHLETE
IS PUTTING ON HERE TONIGHT.

WHAT ATHLETE SEASON!

And it's half time here,
with the score:

Visitors 1,000, Beavers...

( chuckles )

YOU KNOW, MAYBE
I AM TAKING THIS

A LITTLE TOO SERIOUSLY.

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.

WHY DON'T WE WATCH
THE SECOND HALF

FROM THE COMFORT
OF OUR HARD, WOODEN SEATS?

I'LL EVEN BUY YOU
SOME MAPLE BARK NACHOS.

WITH EXTRA MICROWAVE
CHEESE-LIKE SAUCE?

YOU GOT IT, HANDSOME.

( both giggling )

LET'S GO, NORBIE.

HEY, LOOK, IT'S
THAT UGLY WEASEL

PLAYING FOR THE BEAVERS.

LET'S SHOW HIM WHAT
WE THINK OF THE BEAVERS.

HEY, LEAVE HIM ALONE!

D-D-DID I SAY THAT?

LET'S SHOW BOTH
THESE UGLY WEASELS

WHAT WE THINK
OF THE BEAVERS.

( grunts )

( pounding )

( crowd cheering )

( all laughing )

MAYBE SOMEBODY
SHOULD TELL THEM

IT'S JUST A GAME.

NOT ANYMORE.

NOBODY CALLS US WEASELS

AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.

WE'RE BEAVERS!

LET'S GO!

LET'S GO, BEAVERS!

( crowd cheering )

( all grunt in unison )

( drilling )

All:
HEY, WHAT THE...?

( panting )

( all gasp )

( cheering... )

( striking up song )

( squeaking )

( engine revving )

( siren wailing )

( beeping )

( siren wailing )

( rapid beeping )

( crowd cheering )

( siren wailing )

( band strikes up tune )

( cheering continues... )

( siren wailing )

( screaming )

( playing "Daring Young Man
on His Flying Trapeze )

This is your captain.

We're about to hit the stadium.

( captain yelling )

( crunch )

( wind whistling )

( crowd screaming )

MOMMY!

OOF!

( shrieking )

( band playing "London Bridge
is Falling Down" )

( slam )

( creaking )

( band playing )

( creaking )

( panting )

( playing "Can-Can" )

( crowd chanting... )

( playing "Taps" uptempo )

( crowd cheering )

( plays "Funeral March" )

( crowd screaming )

( band continues playing )

( cheering )

( playing "Take Me Out
to the Ball Game" )

( playing triumphant tune... )

WELL, THAT WAS FUN.

FUN?!

THAT WAS NUTS!

( sighs happily )

( finishes with flourish )

[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]