The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 3, Episode 5 - The Cow Thief - full transcript
Two farmers have now had cows stolen from their property and Mayor Stoner doesn't think that Andy and Barney are capable of solving the crime. He asks the State capital to send an expert and while Andy isn't too disturbed, Barney thinks they should just refuse to cooperate. When the State's expert, William Upchurch, shows up he soon has Barney eating out of his hand. The Mayor is also impressed with his investigative skills, particularly when he deduces from the footprints at the scene that a gang of three men have been stealing the cows. Andy has been keeping his eye on a recent parolee, Luke Jensen, a thief who has just returned to Mayberry. Andy is also interested in the footprints that have so impressed the Mayor, particularly the fact that some rather obvious prints seem to be missing.
Starring Andy Griffith...
With Ronny Howard...
Also starring Don knotts.
The cows was all here
an hour ago
and I had to go down
and fix the separator.
When I got back,
one of them had been taken.
Sure she couldn't
have just wandered off?
No, sir. I keep
a tight gate.
Furthermore, I checked
on the upper pasture.
No, sir. She's been
stole, I tell you
same as lady huff's
cow was stole.
Now, I want to know what
you're gonna do about it.
Well, we'll do all we can.
We promise you that.
I can't get milk
out of promises.
Hey, keep away
from that gate.
I just put my big bull in there
since the police ain't
giving me no protection
maybe he can.
Here comes the mayor.
Now, what's going
on around here?
Hello, Tate. How's Cornelia?
Oh, fine.
Not a clue.
Not a single blessed clue.
Yeah, that's about
what I figured.
Ain't nothin' much here
except their footprints.
Footprints?
Yeah.
About all we got to go on now.
Shocking, shocking, shocking,
that's what it is.
Two cows
have been stolen, sheriff.
Something has got
to be done about all this.
I expect you're right, mayor.
These people deserve
proper protection
and my administration
is gonna see to it
that they get it.
Mayor, I told fletch
we'd do all we could.
Well, now, that doesn't
seem to be enough.
What'd I'd better do
is phone down to the capitol
have them send up
a real professional.
Yes, sir, Tate.
By jolly, I'm going
to see to it personally
that you get results.
I'll have a man here in 24 hours
a man who really knows something
about solving crimes.
No offense, sheriff.
It just has to be done.
Yeah, and listen, Edgar,
I'd appreciate it
if you'd print the descriptions
of them missing cows
in the paper, too.
Right. Bye.
Well?
The mayor say when
that fella'd be coming by?
No. Sometime this
morning's all I know.
All right, I'll say it again...
I don't like it.
Now, the mayor has got no call
to supersede
your authority like that.
We can handle this case
without any old nosy Parker
coming up here
from the state capital.
Yeah.
Andy, you don't seem to realize
how serious this is.
Now, we got to prove to them
that we can handle things
or they'll be sending outsiders
to meddle in
every time we turn around.
Barney, maybe this fella
can be of some help.
No, not likely.
He's just an interloper.
All he'll be doin'
is interlopin'.
Now, we got to make it clear
to him that he don't belong.
We got to stand together
and turn on the big freeze.
Well, that's not very friendly.
Well...
Nothing personal.
Just being realistic.
Boy, it's a good thing
you got me around
you know that?
You'd let these fellas
just walk all over you.
No, sir,
I say we freeze 'em out.
Is Luke jenson back?
Huh? No.
He's still
in asheville county jail. Why?
That looks like his dog
over there
at Ernie Walker's trash can.
Yeah. There
comes Luke.
That old hermit back in town?
Yeah.
The bad penny's back.
Want me to pick him up?
No, no, no. I don't...
I don't mean to hound him.
I'll just go over
and say hello though.
Fellow like Luke,
it's a good thing
to let him rest his eyes
on a sheriff's badge
every now and then.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well...
Andy?
Hmm?
If that interloper shows up
you know what he's
gonna get from me?
What?
Big freeze.
Good morning, Luke.
Sure have got a lot of nice
things on sale, ain't they?
Prices marked
real plain on everything.
You noticed that.
Figurin' on buyin' a fryin' pan?
I ain't got no money.
Ain't no harm in looking'.
No, no.
No harm in looking
but I wouldn't take
that "serve yourself" sign
too seriously.
See you, Luke.
Did you hear that, mack?
You heard what he said, huh?
Did you hear what he said?
"Prices marked real plain
on everything," he said.
Huh.
Well, he knows that
poor ol' Luke
don't have no money.
Yes.
Everybody knows
poor ol' Luke
don't have no money.
Everybody.
Everybody, except you and me.
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
That's him.
It's gotta be.
Big, black car,
capital city license.
Let's make out
like we're not here.
Barney!
All right, but let's
not bend an inch.
Let's show him
he's got the both of us
to stand against.
Let's just give him
the big freeze.
Howdy.
Good morning.
I'm, uh, William upchurch of the
special investigation section.
You must be sheriff Taylor.
Uh, no. This here
is sheriff Taylor.
I'm deputy Fife.
Oh, uh, sorry.
I just assumed,
what with the sidearm
and the tie and all,
that you must be the sheriff.
Oh, well, that's all right.
It's a logical mistake.
Glad to meet you,
Mr. Upchurch.
Nice of you to come down
on such short notice.
Oh, it's just part of the job.
Fife, did you say?
Uh, wasn't it you
who made that special report
about safety procedures
on country roads?
Yeah, that was me.
And you had a
little jingle, too.
"Walk on the left
side after dark
or you'll wind up
playin' the harp."
Very effective.
Well, I just injected
a note of humor.
It must be gratifying
to have an alert number-two man.
Oh, it is.
It really is...
Gratifying.
Sit down, won't you?
Yeah. Let me get you a cushion.
Here. Sit right down.
We've got some fresh coffee,
if you'd like some.
Uh, no, thank you.
Uh, about the case,
Mr. Upchurch,
we're doin' all we can.
Of course, if you've got
any suggestions
we'd be glad to listen.
In a business like this,
I always say
the more cooperation
you can get, the better.
That's gratifying
to hear, Mr. Fife.
Oh... Barney.
Barney. I do appreciate
your friendly attitude.
I sometimes find the local sheriff's
department a bit resentful.
They regard me as an outsider.
No.
Oh, yes.
You mean like an interloper?
Exactly.
They do?
They do.
Well, now, getting
down to the case...
Yeah, the case.
...i have only the sketchiest details.
That's all right.
But as I understand it
there's been some
cattle thieving.
That's right.
I suppose the first step
would be a visit
to the premises.
Yeah. It would.
Well, fine.
Let's just go right on out
to the premises.
Right on out to 'em.
I'll get the car.
It's right outside.
I'll hope you'll excuse the fact
that it ain't been washed
but I've just been so busy.
I understand.
I suppose we'd better
pick up the mayor, too
since he's the one
who requested me.
Fine, fine.
The more the merrier.
Barn, listen, remember...
Me and you... the big freeze.
Let's hold it right here.
Now, you will notice
that over there is a fence
and in the fence is a gate.
Now, for all
apparent indications
the missing animal was removed
from the aforementioned premises
by means of utilization
of the gate
which is in the fence.
That sounds like a
reasonable hypothesis
of the modus operandi.
Uh, yeah. That's
another way to put it.
I will now demonstrate
how easily
the gate can be opened
by unauthorized personnel.
Fife, we all know
how a gate opens.
The main thing now
is to get those cows
back to the good people
and loyal supporters
who own them.
Mayor, the descriptions
is in the paper
and folks will be on the lookout
if anybody tries
to sell one of 'em.
Uh... aren't those
uh, footprints over there?
Well, yes. Yes.
Those are footprints.
I presume you made
a moulage, sheriff.
You know what
a moulage is, don't you?
A plaster cast of the prints.
No. It didn't seem
like it'd be much help.
Oh, it could be very valuable.
Gate opens easy enough
but we'd best keep it closed.
We got a bull in there.
The sheriff tells me you decided
not to make a moulage.
A moulage?
Yeah, that's right.
We decided not
to make a moulage.
Oh, we told a few people
but we decided it
didn't make sense
upsetting folks running around
blabbing, making a
big moulage out of it.
Uh, Barney, he means
a plaster cast of the prints.
That kind of a moulage.
Well, it doesn't make
any difference.
The ground's all been
trampled on now.
You got any leads, sheriff?
Uh, no, nothing definite.
What do you think,
Mr. Upchurch?
This is definitely
the work of a gang.
There are three separate sets
of footprints here.
It couldn't be the work
of just one man.
A gang, heh?
Three men.
Well, now we're
getting some place.
Good work, upchurch.
Oh, just a basic observation.
Well, come on, sheriff.
Let's get busy.
Let's go find
those three fellas.
All right, little lady.
There don't seem to be
on one around.
What say you come take
a nice walk with old Luke, huh?
Well, now, step pretty,
little lady, step pretty.
Come on. Come on.
Step pretty.
I think that can use
just a touch more plaster.
I always like
to make my moulages
a bit on the solid side.
I like to use a little
egg white in mine...
Makes them moister and fluffier.
Andy, this is no joke.
If we'd have done this sooner
we'd have had this case
wrapped up by now.
I hope it helps, Barn.
I really do.
Oh, it will.
That Mr. Upchurch is a real pro.
He's just smart as a whip.
You know, this is the kind
of modern crime-busting
I've been trying to tell you
we should have been doing.
All ready here.
Excuse me, Andy.
It's moulage time.
Yes. These tell their
little story, all right.
Like see here.
Now, this fella is
probably the leader...
Uh-huh.
Because this fella always walks
directly behind him.
Yeah. Sort of like
hero worship.
That's right.
Pretty smart outfit.
Don't seem so smart to me.
Look at old number two there.
Instead of following his leader
he walked right through
that mud hole.
Yeah, he did.
Well, it, uh... doesn't
mean a thing.
Remember, it was night.
It's hard to see puddles
in the dark.
That's right, Andy.
You could have figured that out.
My moulage
ain't too thick, is it?
No. It's just right.
Well, this will set
up fast, and then
we'll take the casts in
for extended data analysis.
Yeah, I was just gonna
suggest that myself.
Let me pour.
A-ha. There.
I've measured the depth
of each of these footprints
and that gives us
an idea of the weight
of each man who made
each particular print.
That's very good.
You see, mayor,
the heavier the man is,
the deeper his feet sink
into the ground.
Oh, really?
Leastways, that's the way
me and upchurch see it.
Our measurements indicate
that one man, Abel
is of average weight,
or perhaps slightly less
while the two others
whom we've designated
as baker and Charlie
are heavier.
Much heavier.
Exact weights
are difficult to ascertain
but a seasoned guess
would put them
in excess of 250 pounds.
Oh?
You see, mayor, I don't think
you're getting
the overall picture.
Now, Abel there is a small man
whereas baker and Charlie...
Fife, don't explain it to me.
Well, I declare, upchurch
this is really something.
Did you hear that, sheriff?
Sheriff!
Um, yeah, I heard.
That makes good sense.
Then why aren't you over here,
paying attention?
I was listening.
I was just looking
out the window.
Sheriff, will you please
stop gumping out that window
and get on the ball?
Now at last we've got a lead
on those three crooks...
Two big ones and one littler.
Now I want
this crime wave stopped.
I want constant patrols
on every place that keeps cows.
By jolly, I want those
three men brought in.
Mr. Mayor,
we'll bring them in, all right,
now that we've got
a make on them.
Right, and?
Right.
Well, let's get to it.
Sarah, get me Tate Fletcher.
Well, I don't know, sheriff.
This sounds like a lot
of durn awful foolishness to me.
Well, it could be, fletch
but then again, it might
just end this cow stealing.
How long do I have to stay here?
Just be patient now, fletch.
Old Luke, he comes by here
every day about this time.
I'd like to get on
back to the farm.
I've got a...
Shh, shh.
: Yeah, that's a nice cow
you got there, fletch.
You take care.
Don't let anybody steal her.
Better keep her fastened up
in your corral.
You got any leads
on the cow thieves?
No, nothing definite,
but we know
there's three of them.
Two of them's
pretty good-size men.
So if anybody of
that description
comes by your place
you let me know.
Chances are, I'll be
working real late
at the office tonight
so you can get a call
through to me here.
I'll see you, fletch.
You hear that, mack?
Some bad fellas
been stealing cows.
You know anything about that,
do you?
Huh?
Seems, uh, three fellas
been doing it,
two of them pretty good size.
Yes.
Three fellas.
Mack...
Mack...
The sheriff is gonna be in
his office extra late tonight.
Yeah.
This might be just the night
for those three fellas
to take another walk.
I still don't think much
of the idea.
Well, time will tell, fletch.
Better get away
from that window.
Come right on in.
Hello, mayor.
Sheriff, what is all this?
Why have you pulled
these men in off patrol?
Thought I might need
a little help
to catch a cow thief.
The cow thieves?
Here?
Chances look pretty good.
Well, I'd be proud to know
how you figured
that out, sheriff.
I thought you might, mayor.
This here's the way
the prints line up, ain't it?
Yes, uh...
Approximately.
Mm-hmm.
There seems to be
one set of prints missing.
I don't get you, Andy.
They're all here...
Abel, baker and Charlie.
Where's the prints
made by the cow?
The cow?
The cow?
Yeah.
Then again,
maybe the cow's prints are here.
Now, these two fellas here...
They always seem
to follow this fella.
That right there
might suggest something.
What?
Well, these prints
could be made by three men.
Then again, they could be
made by a man and a cow.
A cow?!
Shoes on a cow?
That would seem
to explain everything
and that man
just could be Luke jenson.
Sheriff Taylor,
did you call these men
away from their duty
just to give them
that harebrained idea?
I figured they'd need some help.
Luke knows fletch
has got a prize cow out there
and I figured
he'll come by tonight
to help hisself to it.
Then why aren't you out there
waiting for him?
He's too smart for that.
Luke or his dog
would spot us for sure.
We've got to get him
with the evidence
so I figured we'd wait in here
and let him turn hisself in.
You see...
Sheriff, I am a patient man
but I've heard enough.
I have heard enough.
I am not going to permit
the entire law force of Mayberry
to set around
in somebody's parlor
on some impossible theory
while those crooks could be
cleaning out every farm
in the county.
Come on, men.
You coming?
No. I'm going to stay here.
Deputy Fife...
Well, sheriff, I, uh...
I'll go make us a pot of coffee.
Well?
I-I just, uh...
Thought I'd, uh...
Wait with you a spell.
Well, I appreciate that,
Barn, but...
Mayor could be right.
Could be a kind
of a harebrained idea.
Well, I'll take my chances.
I was almost out
to the car, and...
I got to remembering...
Another time
a few years back when...
Another mayor of our town
accused you of having
a harebrained idea.
Remember that?
That was when
you had the idea...
Of making me your deputy.
Well, we'd better get these...
These things off the floor.
No! Get away!
- It's him, sheriff!
- Come on!
Come on, Barn!
Yeah. Andy, wait!
I've got to get my...
Wait a minute. Hold it!
I've got to... get my bullet.
No! Get away!
What's going on?
What's the trouble?
He's caught him.
I reckon that's all
the proof we'll need.
Well, I declare.
Is it possible?
Then he was out there,
stealing a cow.
Not exactly a cow.
You're looking at what happens
when a nearsighted man
tries to put shoes
on a ornery old bull.
Boy, when aunt bee
cleans out an attic,
she really cleans out
an attic, don't she?
This stuff... mnh.
Pa?
Yeah, what?
What's this?
Oh, that's an old umbrella stand
made out of an elephant's foot.
Aunt bee never did like it.
Can I play with it?
Sure.
Well, Barn, did Mr. Upchurch
get off all right?
Yep. Yeah, he's gone,
but he won't forget us.
You reckon?
No.
I'd say this whole thing's
taught him a valuable lesson.
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
See, upchurch is the type
that's liable to go
on inconclusive evidence...
You know,
he sees something right off...
He jumps to conclusions,
gets carried away,
doesn't stop to think, you know?
Typical shortcoming
that wouldn't happen
to a seasoned lawman.
I don't know, Barn.
He was just doing his job.
Andy, what's that?
That's an animal track!
It is!
Andy, that's an elephant!
That's what it is,
is an elephant!
Why, there's a rogue elephant
on the loose!
He'll trample the crops,
carry off the babies!
Andy, we got to move!
You know anybody that's got
an elephant gun?
Barney,
I don't believe he'll get
very far on just three legs.
Three legs?
Opie's got the fourth.
With Ronny Howard...
Also starring Don knotts.
The cows was all here
an hour ago
and I had to go down
and fix the separator.
When I got back,
one of them had been taken.
Sure she couldn't
have just wandered off?
No, sir. I keep
a tight gate.
Furthermore, I checked
on the upper pasture.
No, sir. She's been
stole, I tell you
same as lady huff's
cow was stole.
Now, I want to know what
you're gonna do about it.
Well, we'll do all we can.
We promise you that.
I can't get milk
out of promises.
Hey, keep away
from that gate.
I just put my big bull in there
since the police ain't
giving me no protection
maybe he can.
Here comes the mayor.
Now, what's going
on around here?
Hello, Tate. How's Cornelia?
Oh, fine.
Not a clue.
Not a single blessed clue.
Yeah, that's about
what I figured.
Ain't nothin' much here
except their footprints.
Footprints?
Yeah.
About all we got to go on now.
Shocking, shocking, shocking,
that's what it is.
Two cows
have been stolen, sheriff.
Something has got
to be done about all this.
I expect you're right, mayor.
These people deserve
proper protection
and my administration
is gonna see to it
that they get it.
Mayor, I told fletch
we'd do all we could.
Well, now, that doesn't
seem to be enough.
What'd I'd better do
is phone down to the capitol
have them send up
a real professional.
Yes, sir, Tate.
By jolly, I'm going
to see to it personally
that you get results.
I'll have a man here in 24 hours
a man who really knows something
about solving crimes.
No offense, sheriff.
It just has to be done.
Yeah, and listen, Edgar,
I'd appreciate it
if you'd print the descriptions
of them missing cows
in the paper, too.
Right. Bye.
Well?
The mayor say when
that fella'd be coming by?
No. Sometime this
morning's all I know.
All right, I'll say it again...
I don't like it.
Now, the mayor has got no call
to supersede
your authority like that.
We can handle this case
without any old nosy Parker
coming up here
from the state capital.
Yeah.
Andy, you don't seem to realize
how serious this is.
Now, we got to prove to them
that we can handle things
or they'll be sending outsiders
to meddle in
every time we turn around.
Barney, maybe this fella
can be of some help.
No, not likely.
He's just an interloper.
All he'll be doin'
is interlopin'.
Now, we got to make it clear
to him that he don't belong.
We got to stand together
and turn on the big freeze.
Well, that's not very friendly.
Well...
Nothing personal.
Just being realistic.
Boy, it's a good thing
you got me around
you know that?
You'd let these fellas
just walk all over you.
No, sir,
I say we freeze 'em out.
Is Luke jenson back?
Huh? No.
He's still
in asheville county jail. Why?
That looks like his dog
over there
at Ernie Walker's trash can.
Yeah. There
comes Luke.
That old hermit back in town?
Yeah.
The bad penny's back.
Want me to pick him up?
No, no, no. I don't...
I don't mean to hound him.
I'll just go over
and say hello though.
Fellow like Luke,
it's a good thing
to let him rest his eyes
on a sheriff's badge
every now and then.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well...
Andy?
Hmm?
If that interloper shows up
you know what he's
gonna get from me?
What?
Big freeze.
Good morning, Luke.
Sure have got a lot of nice
things on sale, ain't they?
Prices marked
real plain on everything.
You noticed that.
Figurin' on buyin' a fryin' pan?
I ain't got no money.
Ain't no harm in looking'.
No, no.
No harm in looking
but I wouldn't take
that "serve yourself" sign
too seriously.
See you, Luke.
Did you hear that, mack?
You heard what he said, huh?
Did you hear what he said?
"Prices marked real plain
on everything," he said.
Huh.
Well, he knows that
poor ol' Luke
don't have no money.
Yes.
Everybody knows
poor ol' Luke
don't have no money.
Everybody.
Everybody, except you and me.
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
That's him.
It's gotta be.
Big, black car,
capital city license.
Let's make out
like we're not here.
Barney!
All right, but let's
not bend an inch.
Let's show him
he's got the both of us
to stand against.
Let's just give him
the big freeze.
Howdy.
Good morning.
I'm, uh, William upchurch of the
special investigation section.
You must be sheriff Taylor.
Uh, no. This here
is sheriff Taylor.
I'm deputy Fife.
Oh, uh, sorry.
I just assumed,
what with the sidearm
and the tie and all,
that you must be the sheriff.
Oh, well, that's all right.
It's a logical mistake.
Glad to meet you,
Mr. Upchurch.
Nice of you to come down
on such short notice.
Oh, it's just part of the job.
Fife, did you say?
Uh, wasn't it you
who made that special report
about safety procedures
on country roads?
Yeah, that was me.
And you had a
little jingle, too.
"Walk on the left
side after dark
or you'll wind up
playin' the harp."
Very effective.
Well, I just injected
a note of humor.
It must be gratifying
to have an alert number-two man.
Oh, it is.
It really is...
Gratifying.
Sit down, won't you?
Yeah. Let me get you a cushion.
Here. Sit right down.
We've got some fresh coffee,
if you'd like some.
Uh, no, thank you.
Uh, about the case,
Mr. Upchurch,
we're doin' all we can.
Of course, if you've got
any suggestions
we'd be glad to listen.
In a business like this,
I always say
the more cooperation
you can get, the better.
That's gratifying
to hear, Mr. Fife.
Oh... Barney.
Barney. I do appreciate
your friendly attitude.
I sometimes find the local sheriff's
department a bit resentful.
They regard me as an outsider.
No.
Oh, yes.
You mean like an interloper?
Exactly.
They do?
They do.
Well, now, getting
down to the case...
Yeah, the case.
...i have only the sketchiest details.
That's all right.
But as I understand it
there's been some
cattle thieving.
That's right.
I suppose the first step
would be a visit
to the premises.
Yeah. It would.
Well, fine.
Let's just go right on out
to the premises.
Right on out to 'em.
I'll get the car.
It's right outside.
I'll hope you'll excuse the fact
that it ain't been washed
but I've just been so busy.
I understand.
I suppose we'd better
pick up the mayor, too
since he's the one
who requested me.
Fine, fine.
The more the merrier.
Barn, listen, remember...
Me and you... the big freeze.
Let's hold it right here.
Now, you will notice
that over there is a fence
and in the fence is a gate.
Now, for all
apparent indications
the missing animal was removed
from the aforementioned premises
by means of utilization
of the gate
which is in the fence.
That sounds like a
reasonable hypothesis
of the modus operandi.
Uh, yeah. That's
another way to put it.
I will now demonstrate
how easily
the gate can be opened
by unauthorized personnel.
Fife, we all know
how a gate opens.
The main thing now
is to get those cows
back to the good people
and loyal supporters
who own them.
Mayor, the descriptions
is in the paper
and folks will be on the lookout
if anybody tries
to sell one of 'em.
Uh... aren't those
uh, footprints over there?
Well, yes. Yes.
Those are footprints.
I presume you made
a moulage, sheriff.
You know what
a moulage is, don't you?
A plaster cast of the prints.
No. It didn't seem
like it'd be much help.
Oh, it could be very valuable.
Gate opens easy enough
but we'd best keep it closed.
We got a bull in there.
The sheriff tells me you decided
not to make a moulage.
A moulage?
Yeah, that's right.
We decided not
to make a moulage.
Oh, we told a few people
but we decided it
didn't make sense
upsetting folks running around
blabbing, making a
big moulage out of it.
Uh, Barney, he means
a plaster cast of the prints.
That kind of a moulage.
Well, it doesn't make
any difference.
The ground's all been
trampled on now.
You got any leads, sheriff?
Uh, no, nothing definite.
What do you think,
Mr. Upchurch?
This is definitely
the work of a gang.
There are three separate sets
of footprints here.
It couldn't be the work
of just one man.
A gang, heh?
Three men.
Well, now we're
getting some place.
Good work, upchurch.
Oh, just a basic observation.
Well, come on, sheriff.
Let's get busy.
Let's go find
those three fellas.
All right, little lady.
There don't seem to be
on one around.
What say you come take
a nice walk with old Luke, huh?
Well, now, step pretty,
little lady, step pretty.
Come on. Come on.
Step pretty.
I think that can use
just a touch more plaster.
I always like
to make my moulages
a bit on the solid side.
I like to use a little
egg white in mine...
Makes them moister and fluffier.
Andy, this is no joke.
If we'd have done this sooner
we'd have had this case
wrapped up by now.
I hope it helps, Barn.
I really do.
Oh, it will.
That Mr. Upchurch is a real pro.
He's just smart as a whip.
You know, this is the kind
of modern crime-busting
I've been trying to tell you
we should have been doing.
All ready here.
Excuse me, Andy.
It's moulage time.
Yes. These tell their
little story, all right.
Like see here.
Now, this fella is
probably the leader...
Uh-huh.
Because this fella always walks
directly behind him.
Yeah. Sort of like
hero worship.
That's right.
Pretty smart outfit.
Don't seem so smart to me.
Look at old number two there.
Instead of following his leader
he walked right through
that mud hole.
Yeah, he did.
Well, it, uh... doesn't
mean a thing.
Remember, it was night.
It's hard to see puddles
in the dark.
That's right, Andy.
You could have figured that out.
My moulage
ain't too thick, is it?
No. It's just right.
Well, this will set
up fast, and then
we'll take the casts in
for extended data analysis.
Yeah, I was just gonna
suggest that myself.
Let me pour.
A-ha. There.
I've measured the depth
of each of these footprints
and that gives us
an idea of the weight
of each man who made
each particular print.
That's very good.
You see, mayor,
the heavier the man is,
the deeper his feet sink
into the ground.
Oh, really?
Leastways, that's the way
me and upchurch see it.
Our measurements indicate
that one man, Abel
is of average weight,
or perhaps slightly less
while the two others
whom we've designated
as baker and Charlie
are heavier.
Much heavier.
Exact weights
are difficult to ascertain
but a seasoned guess
would put them
in excess of 250 pounds.
Oh?
You see, mayor, I don't think
you're getting
the overall picture.
Now, Abel there is a small man
whereas baker and Charlie...
Fife, don't explain it to me.
Well, I declare, upchurch
this is really something.
Did you hear that, sheriff?
Sheriff!
Um, yeah, I heard.
That makes good sense.
Then why aren't you over here,
paying attention?
I was listening.
I was just looking
out the window.
Sheriff, will you please
stop gumping out that window
and get on the ball?
Now at last we've got a lead
on those three crooks...
Two big ones and one littler.
Now I want
this crime wave stopped.
I want constant patrols
on every place that keeps cows.
By jolly, I want those
three men brought in.
Mr. Mayor,
we'll bring them in, all right,
now that we've got
a make on them.
Right, and?
Right.
Well, let's get to it.
Sarah, get me Tate Fletcher.
Well, I don't know, sheriff.
This sounds like a lot
of durn awful foolishness to me.
Well, it could be, fletch
but then again, it might
just end this cow stealing.
How long do I have to stay here?
Just be patient now, fletch.
Old Luke, he comes by here
every day about this time.
I'd like to get on
back to the farm.
I've got a...
Shh, shh.
: Yeah, that's a nice cow
you got there, fletch.
You take care.
Don't let anybody steal her.
Better keep her fastened up
in your corral.
You got any leads
on the cow thieves?
No, nothing definite,
but we know
there's three of them.
Two of them's
pretty good-size men.
So if anybody of
that description
comes by your place
you let me know.
Chances are, I'll be
working real late
at the office tonight
so you can get a call
through to me here.
I'll see you, fletch.
You hear that, mack?
Some bad fellas
been stealing cows.
You know anything about that,
do you?
Huh?
Seems, uh, three fellas
been doing it,
two of them pretty good size.
Yes.
Three fellas.
Mack...
Mack...
The sheriff is gonna be in
his office extra late tonight.
Yeah.
This might be just the night
for those three fellas
to take another walk.
I still don't think much
of the idea.
Well, time will tell, fletch.
Better get away
from that window.
Come right on in.
Hello, mayor.
Sheriff, what is all this?
Why have you pulled
these men in off patrol?
Thought I might need
a little help
to catch a cow thief.
The cow thieves?
Here?
Chances look pretty good.
Well, I'd be proud to know
how you figured
that out, sheriff.
I thought you might, mayor.
This here's the way
the prints line up, ain't it?
Yes, uh...
Approximately.
Mm-hmm.
There seems to be
one set of prints missing.
I don't get you, Andy.
They're all here...
Abel, baker and Charlie.
Where's the prints
made by the cow?
The cow?
The cow?
Yeah.
Then again,
maybe the cow's prints are here.
Now, these two fellas here...
They always seem
to follow this fella.
That right there
might suggest something.
What?
Well, these prints
could be made by three men.
Then again, they could be
made by a man and a cow.
A cow?!
Shoes on a cow?
That would seem
to explain everything
and that man
just could be Luke jenson.
Sheriff Taylor,
did you call these men
away from their duty
just to give them
that harebrained idea?
I figured they'd need some help.
Luke knows fletch
has got a prize cow out there
and I figured
he'll come by tonight
to help hisself to it.
Then why aren't you out there
waiting for him?
He's too smart for that.
Luke or his dog
would spot us for sure.
We've got to get him
with the evidence
so I figured we'd wait in here
and let him turn hisself in.
You see...
Sheriff, I am a patient man
but I've heard enough.
I have heard enough.
I am not going to permit
the entire law force of Mayberry
to set around
in somebody's parlor
on some impossible theory
while those crooks could be
cleaning out every farm
in the county.
Come on, men.
You coming?
No. I'm going to stay here.
Deputy Fife...
Well, sheriff, I, uh...
I'll go make us a pot of coffee.
Well?
I-I just, uh...
Thought I'd, uh...
Wait with you a spell.
Well, I appreciate that,
Barn, but...
Mayor could be right.
Could be a kind
of a harebrained idea.
Well, I'll take my chances.
I was almost out
to the car, and...
I got to remembering...
Another time
a few years back when...
Another mayor of our town
accused you of having
a harebrained idea.
Remember that?
That was when
you had the idea...
Of making me your deputy.
Well, we'd better get these...
These things off the floor.
No! Get away!
- It's him, sheriff!
- Come on!
Come on, Barn!
Yeah. Andy, wait!
I've got to get my...
Wait a minute. Hold it!
I've got to... get my bullet.
No! Get away!
What's going on?
What's the trouble?
He's caught him.
I reckon that's all
the proof we'll need.
Well, I declare.
Is it possible?
Then he was out there,
stealing a cow.
Not exactly a cow.
You're looking at what happens
when a nearsighted man
tries to put shoes
on a ornery old bull.
Boy, when aunt bee
cleans out an attic,
she really cleans out
an attic, don't she?
This stuff... mnh.
Pa?
Yeah, what?
What's this?
Oh, that's an old umbrella stand
made out of an elephant's foot.
Aunt bee never did like it.
Can I play with it?
Sure.
Well, Barn, did Mr. Upchurch
get off all right?
Yep. Yeah, he's gone,
but he won't forget us.
You reckon?
No.
I'd say this whole thing's
taught him a valuable lesson.
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
See, upchurch is the type
that's liable to go
on inconclusive evidence...
You know,
he sees something right off...
He jumps to conclusions,
gets carried away,
doesn't stop to think, you know?
Typical shortcoming
that wouldn't happen
to a seasoned lawman.
I don't know, Barn.
He was just doing his job.
Andy, what's that?
That's an animal track!
It is!
Andy, that's an elephant!
That's what it is,
is an elephant!
Why, there's a rogue elephant
on the loose!
He'll trample the crops,
carry off the babies!
Andy, we got to move!
You know anybody that's got
an elephant gun?
Barney,
I don't believe he'll get
very far on just three legs.
Three legs?
Opie's got the fourth.