The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 3, Episode 20 - Rafe Hollister Sings - full transcript
Barney is preparing himself for the Ladies League singing contest. The winner gets to go to the State capital and represent Mayberry. The problem of course is that he can't sing. When farmer Rafe Hollister shows up at the court house, he sings while Andy plays the guitar and it turns out he has a very nice voice. Andy encourages him to go and try out for the competition which he wins handily. Mayor Stoner and Mrs. Jeffries, the head of the Ladies League, are aghast however at Rafe's appearance and want Andy to break the news to him that he cannot sing at the musicale. Unable to bring himself to do so, Andy decides the only option is to try and make Rafe a bit more presentable.
Starring Andy Griffith...
With Ronny Howard...
Also starring Don knotts.
Hey, Barn?
Hey, Barn?
Hey, Barn?
Hey!
How much longer
you gonna be at that?
Why? Is there somewhere
you want me to go?
Yeah.
Where?
Anywhere.
What I mean, Barn, is
I'm afraid
I might be bothering you.
I been makin'
a lot of racket out here
folding letters
and licking stamps.
Don't bother me none.
I've tried
to keep the racket down,
but I'm a noisy folder,
and that's all there is to it.
I ain't even noticed it.
♪ Ahh
you're just being nice, Barn.
You're just being nice.
Now, I know I'm disturbin' you
and if you wanna go off
somewhere else and practice,
I'll understand completely.
No. No, it's all right.
I can put up with it.
Besides, I'm leavin'
in just a few minutes
for them tryouts.
You know, Andy, I got a hunch
I'm really gonna do all right.
Be something, wouldn't it...
If I win that audition
and get to represent Mayberry
at the ladies league musicale?
That could lead some place.
Yeah, I suppose it could.
Yeah, the only thing
that's got me worried
is I got a virus cold come on.
Sure hope the bug don't
get down in my "larnyx."
Your what?
My "larnyx."
Oh-oh-oh.
Oh, that's why
you're using that bug spray?
Bug spray?
That's honey and water.
All the big singers use it...
Nelson eddy, Tex ritter,
ferlin husky, all of 'em.
Just honey and water.
Honey and water, huh?
Yeah, honey and water.
Aah, aa-aah. Mmm.
Yeah, it's good. See?
If I was you, I'd be
careful of that stuff.
Yeah, I'd sure watch
that stuff if I was you.
Why?
Can't hurt nothing.
It's just honey.
But it could!
Now, just think...
You get right out
in the center of the stage,
right by yourself,
and the spotlight falls
right on you.
And then you take
a deep breath, huh?
Then your voice...
I mean your glorious voice...
Comes up from your lungs
right through your "larnyx,"
and finally it comes busting
right out through your mouth.
And then...
Then what?
Then your voice gets drowned out
by all them flies
buzzing around your mouth.
There's one right there!
You're really funny, aren't you?
Laugh-a-minute Taylor.
A regular Joe penner.
Ooh-ooh, hyuck-hyuck!
Howdy, rafe.
Howdy, sheriff.
What you got there?
A mess
of fresh-picked string beans.
Your aunt bee asked me
to drop 'em off
for some doings that's goin' on.
Oh, yeah. Them's nice.
Must be for the big supper
the ladies league is havin'
after their musicale.
I'll set 'em right here.
That's Barney.
How long's he been ailin'?
He's just practicing up
on his singing voice.
If you was any kind of a friend
you'd be a help
instead of a hindrance.
Hello, rafe.
Sorry.
Give me a "c" chord, will ya?
I wanna check my pitch.
Okay. What you
gonna sing for 'em?
I don't know.
From the light classics.
I thought I'd do somethin'
sort of a toss-up
between "tico tico"
and "the umbrella man."
I may even go all the way
with "moon of manakoora."
I can't help you out much
with any of them.
Maybe since
you're doing somethin'
from the light classics,
though, you know
"believe me if all them
endearing young charms."
Yeah. Yeah, I know it.
It ain't much of a challenge
but it's all right
for a warmer-upper.
Okay.
♪ Believe me if all those
endearing young charms ♪
♪ Which I gaze on so
fine today ♪ Barney?
♪ Were changed...
Barney?
♪ Like fairy wings fading away...
♪ Barney?!
What?
I-I don't mean to butt in none,
but that ain't the way it goes.
Your endearing
wasn't too charming, Barn.
It goes...
That's how it goes.
Rafe's right, Barn.
Well, that's just
another way of doin' it.
It's the same song.
Darn good thing
you showed up, rafe.
Why don't you join along
and sing with Barn?
You don't mind, do you, Barn?
Well, no.
Could be a little tough
for you to keep up, rafe,
but sing along the best you can.
Sing along with Barn.
Ready? Here we go.
Wait. Hold it.
Ahh. Ahh.
Okay?
♪ Believe me ♪ believe me
♪ believe me ♪ if all those
♪ endearing young charms ♪ if
all those endearing charms ♪
♪ Charms ♪ which I gaze on
♪ so fondly today ♪ so fondly
pick it up a little bit. ♪ today
♪ were to change by tomorrow ♪
♪ Were to change by tomorrow ♪
♪ Were to change by tomorrow ♪
♪ And flee from my arms
♪ like fairy wings fading away...
♪ that's not my key.
♪ Thou would still be adored
as this moment thou art ♪
♪ Let thy loveliness fade
as it will ♪
♪ And around the dear ruin,
each wish of my heart ♪
♪ Would entwine itself
fervently still. ♪
Hey, now,
that was some kinda good.
I forgot what a fine set a pipes
you got on you there, rafe.
Aw.
Ain't he, Barn?
How come you quit singing?
Oh, that wasn't my key.
Oh.
Well,
I guess I better be gettin' on.
I enjoyed the sing-along.
Okay.
I'll see ya, rafe.
Wait a minute, rafe.
Barn, why don't you take rafe
along to them singin' tryouts?
Huh
how 'bout it, rafe?
Wouldn't hurt none.
What are y'all talkin' about?
They're having singin' tryouts
at town hall.
Why don't you sing for 'em?
I couldn't do that.
Well, why not?
'Cause.
'Cause he just couldn't,
that's why.
You're right to refuse, rafe.
I'm surprised at you.
What's wrong?
What's wrong
is that rafe don't have
no trained singing voice.
You wanna get up there
with the rest of us
and make a fool
out of yourself, rafe?
Uh...
They're liable to
ask you questions
only a trained
musician understands.
Like what?
Well, suppose they
was to ask you
"can you sing a cappella?"
Would you know what to do?
No.
Well, there you are.
Why get up and
embarrass yourself?
Hey, Barn?
Suppose they asked you
if you can sing a cappella.
What'll you do?
Well, I'd do it.
♪ A cappella
♪ a cappella...
Well, I don't know
the rest of the words
but that's it.
I see. Uh, Barn,
I think all they want
is to find out
how good a voice you got.
Why don't you take rafe over
there and have him sing for 'em?
You want rafe here to be
embarrassed and humiliated?
They want people up there
with musical backgrounds.
Well, it was just an idea.
That don't mean you have
to stop singing, rafe.
You just go ahead and do it.
You sing in the
bathtub, don't you?
Well, you go right
ahead and do that.
Can I ask a question?
What is it, rafe?
What time are
these here tryouts?
Right about now,
I guess. Why?
I'm goin' over there.
Huh?
Well, I reckon since
they ain't never around
when I'm takin' a bath,
I best go on over there.
Now, rafe, listen...
Go with him, Barn.
Go on with him.
Maybe on the way over there
you can teach him
how to sing a cappella.
How'd that go again?
♪ A cappella, a cappella
that's catchy.
So, the audition
went pretty good?
Yeah, it did.
You know, it was one of them
electric moments in the theater.
When the last note died down,
there was this hush
fell over the hall, you know.
You'd never even a-known
anybody was there.
Was there?
Well, sure.
All the other tryouters.
I wish you
could have heard me, Andy.
Yeah.
How'd rafe do?
Oh, all right, I guess.
Say, ope, uh,
I wonder if you'd mind
holdin' down on the sweepin'.
See, that raises dust,
and that's
the worst possible thing
for the "larnyx."
The what?
The "larnyx."
Th-that's the organ
in your throat.
You got an organ stuck
in your throat, Barney?
That's the thing that you use
for singin' and talkin'.
It's called a voice box.
Well, yeah, but the more
correct medical terminology
is the "larnyx."
Good word to know.
And you don't want me
to sweep any dust into it.
That's right, 'cause I'm gonna
use it for singin'.
I'll just go in the back room
and wait till
the dust all settles.
Oh, hi, John.
How'd tryouts go?
Very, very well.
Oh.
A truly outstanding voice.
I'm sure we've discovered
Really?
Well, I'll be dogged.
Who is it?
It's so genuine.
Fully natural feeling.
Perfect pitch.
Well.
Yes.
Amazing he's kept it
to himself all this time.
Mayberry is going to have
a representative we can all
be proud of at the musicale.
Ain't that somethin'?
You still ain't told me who won.
Andy, I want to thank you
for sending over rafe Hollister.
Rafe Hollister?!
Yes. Why not?
He has a remarkable voice.
You must have known that, Andy,
or you wouldn't have
sent him over.
It was a fine idea.
It was just a suggestion.
It was the best I heard.
Now I must get over
to the mayor's office.
Mrs. Jeffries is waiting there
to hear about our choice.
Yeah. Well,
thanks again, Andy.
Okay, I'll see you, John.
That means Barney
ain't gonna be
the one to sing, huh, paw?
Oh, well, uh, uh, yeah.
Then I guess it's all right
if I sweep.
Uh...
I'm, uh...
I'm sorry, Barn.
Oh, oh, th-that's all right.
I just had the wrong selection.
Mm.
Picked somethin'
from the light classics
and it was just
over their heads.
What'd you sing for 'em?
Uh, "cherry Berry bend."
Oh-oh, I see, and
they didn't like it?
It was over their heads.
In fact, it was so
over their heads,
why, t-they stopped me
right in the middle of it.
Oh.
Oh, well, uh,
well, that's a, that's a shame.
Oh, it was...
It was over their heads.
Well, try again next year.
Yeah, darn right.
Yeah.
Next time, uh,
I'll just be
a little bit smarter.
No more
"cherry Berry bend."
Oh, no, no
"cherry Berry bend."
It's over their heads.
Right.
You wanted to see me?
Yes, I do, sheriff.
I most certainly do
want to see you.
What is this, some sort
of joke you're pulling?
Huh?
John masters was just in here
and he told us the choice
for the musicale...
Rafe Hollister!
You want rafe Hollister
to represent us
at the musicale.
I understand this was your idea.
No. I suggested
he go up there and sing,
but John masters
picked him fair and square.
What's wrong
with rafe singin' anyway?
What's wrong?
Sheriff, you must
face the facts.
Rafe Hollister simply
is not presentable.
His appearance,
the way he dresses...
And to present him
at my organization...
A club that has been
dedicated to the finer things?
Never.
Rafe's already been told he won.
Then you just tell him
he didn't win.
Rafe Hollister was your idea.
You just march yourself
right out to his place
and tell him
he will not be needed.
How can I tell him
a thing like that?
Tell him anything...
Tell him it was all a mistake...
But you make it clear to him
that he will not be representing
the fair city of Mayberry.
Mayor...
Good day, sheriff.
I just couldn't believe my ears
when he told me he won
that singing contest.
Yeah, well...
Oh, howdy, rafe.
Oh, howdy, sheriff.
Martha been chewing
your ear off, has she?
No, we was just talking.
Uh, t-the reason I come out...
Don't it beat all?
I mean, the way
you just told me offhand
to go on over to town hall,
and then for me to get picked!
We ain't letting the sheriff
get a word in edgewise.
What did bring
you out here, Andy?
There's no trouble, is there?
Uh, no, no,
there's, uh, there's no trouble.
Uh... I, uh, just wanted
to congratulate you.
I know you'll do fine, rafe.
Just, just fine.
That's, uh, that's all
I wanted to tell you.
You didn't tell him.
I couldn't, mayor.
Oh, really, sheriff.
We can't do it to him, mayor.
It means too much.
Well, it means
a lot to the town, too,
to have somebody
up on that stage
we won't be ashamed of.
Well, what you so worried
about rafe for, anyway?
What am I so worried about...?
His appearance.
Why, he's...
He's seedy!
Rafe'll get dressed up
for the musicale.
Oh, will he?
Well, sheriff Taylor,
I am holding you
personally responsible
for his appearance.
Well, how do I look?
Well, uh...
Rafe, I, I declare,
you, you look fine.
You, you really do.
You look just fine.
Well, I figured for a
big musicale like this,
a fella ought to get dressed up.
Well, you look fine.
I would have greased my shoes,
but every time I do that,
the cats all follow me.
Yeah, well, uh, rafe, uh,
why don't you come back
in about a hour?
I got some work I have to do
and then we'll go
to town hall and practice.
All right.
I think I'll leave
my coat and tie
in the truck, though.
I hate to be dressed up
in the middle of the day.
Oh, boy, ange.
Yeah.
Boy, I'm in trouble.
What are you going to do?
He shows up over
there at the musicale
looking like that,
the mayor and Mrs.
Jeffries will have a fit.
Well, I guess I'll
just have to go out
and get him some clothes.
How you going to know his sizes?
Just have to guess.
Come on.
Well, I'm back.
You ready to go?
Oh, I'll be with you
in a minute, rafe.
Can't figure it out.
Figure what?
Our records are off
something fierce.
Ink must've got smudged.
Somebody we took
in for moonshinin'
April a year ago, address
up on Willow creek road.
Moonshiner?
Last April, was it?
Well, that's me.
You took me in about then.
Can it be?
By dog, you're right.
Now we can set things straight.
But I done my time,
and I ain't
been moonshinin' since.
Well, I mean...
Not so's you could notice.
That ain't what I mean, rafe.
Seems we made
a terrible mistake.
We forgot to give you
your suit of clothes
when we turned you loose.
You know how the government
gives released convicts a suit
so they can start life afresh?
You know, you've seen it
in the jailhouse picture shows.
Well, Andy, I was only
in the lockup ten days.
Oh, that don't make
no difference, rafe.
You did wrong...
Mighty wrong.
Going to have to take
the full consequences.
Oh.
Uh, Barn?
Uh, you want to get me
the, the suit of clothes out
for case number 68456735?
I finally found our man.
Huh?
Oh!
Uh, yeah.
I don't need no clothes.
You have to take
them clothes, rafe,
and you have to wear 'em.
Otherwise, I'm gonna get
in a peck of trouble.
I wouldn't want that.
No. And then we can go over to
the town hall for that practice.
Yeah.
Better hurry, rafe.
Come on.
You ready, rafe?
Come on out.
Well, you look fine, rafe.
Just as fine as wine.
I believe I'd rather spend
another ten days in jail
than wear
these government clothes.
You'll forget it, rafe,
when you get to singing.
Singing?
I got all I can do to breathe.
You'll get used to it.
Well, howdy,
Mrs. Hollister.
Howdy, Andy.
Look at that rafe.
Don't he look good?
Andy? Andy!
Sure is something, rafe.
You look good enough
to get buried.
I feel like I'm fixin' to.
The mayor and
Mrs. Jeffries
they're on their way in here.
Good.
We're ready for 'em.
Afternoon, mayor,
Mrs. Jeffries.
Come right on in.
Yes, sir.
Look who's here, rafe.
Howdy, mayor,
Mrs. Jeffries.
Don't rafe look nice?
Tell you the truth, I feel
like I'm about to strangle.
These are the tightest britches
I ever had on.
Uh, rafe, you, uh,
you want to put my guitar
in the case back there?
Rafe does look nice, don't he?
Well, I don't know.
Oh, I suppose he looks
good enough to get by.
It'll be all right
as long as he doesn't
associate with anyone.
Yes. Yes.
You see to that, sheriff.
And now, the final performer
in our program
comes from right here
in our host town.
It's with great pleasure,
ladies and gentlemen,
that I introduce
the representative
from Mayberry...
Mr. Rafe Hollister.
Thank you all.
I appreciate
all of you coming out tonight.
Well, howdy, mayor,
Mrs. Jeffries.
Y'all here again?
And accompanying
Mr. Hollister
on guitar will be
sheriff Andy Taylor.
Mrs. Dennis, I didn't...
I mean, we didn't...
Well, everybody
else is settin' down
I reckon I'll set, too.
Ready, Andy?
When you're ready,
Mr. Hollister.
Well, go ahead on.
♪ Look down, look down
♪ that lonesome road
♪ before you travel on
♪ look up, look up
♪ and seek your maker
♪ 'fore Gabriel blows his horn
♪ weary totin' such a load
♪ trudgin' down
that lonesome road ♪
♪ Look down, look down
♪ that lonesome road
♪ before you travel on
♪ weary totin' such a load
♪ trudgin' down
that lonesome road ♪
♪ Look down, look down
♪ that lonesome road
♪ before you travel on
Oh, he's really
wonderful, isn't he?
Yes.
And what a perfectly
marvelous idea
having him appear
dressed that way.
It made his selection
so much more authentic.
Mr. Hollister,
will you favor us
with another selection?
Want to?
Why not?
♪ Ridin' on
that new river train ♪
♪ Ridin' on that
new river train ♪
♪ The same old train
that brought me here ♪
♪ Gonna carry me back again
♪ darling, you can't love one ♪
♪ Darling, you can't love one ♪
♪ You can't love one
and have any fun ♪
♪ Oh, darling,
you can't love one ♪
♪ Darling, you can't love two ♪
♪ Darling,
you can't love two... ♪
Hey, Barn?
Hey, Barn!
What are you doing now?
Getting ready
for next year's tryouts.
So soon?
Yeah. I'm really
gonna work on it this time.
If you don't go inviting
the whole town to enter,
I'm gonna stand a chance.
What are you talking about?
The way you invited
rafe Hollister to enter,
and it turned out he had
a better selection and he won.
Oh, come on, Barn.
This time I got
the perfect selection.
What?
The "crawdad song."
Here, give me some
accompaniment.
All right.
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole ♪
♪ And we'll go down
to the crawdad hole ♪
♪ Oh, you get a line
and I'll get a pole ♪
Barney
I hate to butt in,
but ain't the way it goes.
I think it goes like this.
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole, honey ♪
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole, babe ♪
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole ♪
♪ And we'll go down
to the crawdad hole ♪
♪ Honey, baby, mine
you know, you're right, ope.
Hey, ope, why don't you go along
to them singing tryouts
next year?
How about it, Barn?
Want to take ope...
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole, honey ♪
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole, babe ♪
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole ♪
♪ And we'll go down
to the crawdad hole ♪
♪ Honey, baby, mine
With Ronny Howard...
Also starring Don knotts.
Hey, Barn?
Hey, Barn?
Hey, Barn?
Hey!
How much longer
you gonna be at that?
Why? Is there somewhere
you want me to go?
Yeah.
Where?
Anywhere.
What I mean, Barn, is
I'm afraid
I might be bothering you.
I been makin'
a lot of racket out here
folding letters
and licking stamps.
Don't bother me none.
I've tried
to keep the racket down,
but I'm a noisy folder,
and that's all there is to it.
I ain't even noticed it.
♪ Ahh
you're just being nice, Barn.
You're just being nice.
Now, I know I'm disturbin' you
and if you wanna go off
somewhere else and practice,
I'll understand completely.
No. No, it's all right.
I can put up with it.
Besides, I'm leavin'
in just a few minutes
for them tryouts.
You know, Andy, I got a hunch
I'm really gonna do all right.
Be something, wouldn't it...
If I win that audition
and get to represent Mayberry
at the ladies league musicale?
That could lead some place.
Yeah, I suppose it could.
Yeah, the only thing
that's got me worried
is I got a virus cold come on.
Sure hope the bug don't
get down in my "larnyx."
Your what?
My "larnyx."
Oh-oh-oh.
Oh, that's why
you're using that bug spray?
Bug spray?
That's honey and water.
All the big singers use it...
Nelson eddy, Tex ritter,
ferlin husky, all of 'em.
Just honey and water.
Honey and water, huh?
Yeah, honey and water.
Aah, aa-aah. Mmm.
Yeah, it's good. See?
If I was you, I'd be
careful of that stuff.
Yeah, I'd sure watch
that stuff if I was you.
Why?
Can't hurt nothing.
It's just honey.
But it could!
Now, just think...
You get right out
in the center of the stage,
right by yourself,
and the spotlight falls
right on you.
And then you take
a deep breath, huh?
Then your voice...
I mean your glorious voice...
Comes up from your lungs
right through your "larnyx,"
and finally it comes busting
right out through your mouth.
And then...
Then what?
Then your voice gets drowned out
by all them flies
buzzing around your mouth.
There's one right there!
You're really funny, aren't you?
Laugh-a-minute Taylor.
A regular Joe penner.
Ooh-ooh, hyuck-hyuck!
Howdy, rafe.
Howdy, sheriff.
What you got there?
A mess
of fresh-picked string beans.
Your aunt bee asked me
to drop 'em off
for some doings that's goin' on.
Oh, yeah. Them's nice.
Must be for the big supper
the ladies league is havin'
after their musicale.
I'll set 'em right here.
That's Barney.
How long's he been ailin'?
He's just practicing up
on his singing voice.
If you was any kind of a friend
you'd be a help
instead of a hindrance.
Hello, rafe.
Sorry.
Give me a "c" chord, will ya?
I wanna check my pitch.
Okay. What you
gonna sing for 'em?
I don't know.
From the light classics.
I thought I'd do somethin'
sort of a toss-up
between "tico tico"
and "the umbrella man."
I may even go all the way
with "moon of manakoora."
I can't help you out much
with any of them.
Maybe since
you're doing somethin'
from the light classics,
though, you know
"believe me if all them
endearing young charms."
Yeah. Yeah, I know it.
It ain't much of a challenge
but it's all right
for a warmer-upper.
Okay.
♪ Believe me if all those
endearing young charms ♪
♪ Which I gaze on so
fine today ♪ Barney?
♪ Were changed...
Barney?
♪ Like fairy wings fading away...
♪ Barney?!
What?
I-I don't mean to butt in none,
but that ain't the way it goes.
Your endearing
wasn't too charming, Barn.
It goes...
That's how it goes.
Rafe's right, Barn.
Well, that's just
another way of doin' it.
It's the same song.
Darn good thing
you showed up, rafe.
Why don't you join along
and sing with Barn?
You don't mind, do you, Barn?
Well, no.
Could be a little tough
for you to keep up, rafe,
but sing along the best you can.
Sing along with Barn.
Ready? Here we go.
Wait. Hold it.
Ahh. Ahh.
Okay?
♪ Believe me ♪ believe me
♪ believe me ♪ if all those
♪ endearing young charms ♪ if
all those endearing charms ♪
♪ Charms ♪ which I gaze on
♪ so fondly today ♪ so fondly
pick it up a little bit. ♪ today
♪ were to change by tomorrow ♪
♪ Were to change by tomorrow ♪
♪ Were to change by tomorrow ♪
♪ And flee from my arms
♪ like fairy wings fading away...
♪ that's not my key.
♪ Thou would still be adored
as this moment thou art ♪
♪ Let thy loveliness fade
as it will ♪
♪ And around the dear ruin,
each wish of my heart ♪
♪ Would entwine itself
fervently still. ♪
Hey, now,
that was some kinda good.
I forgot what a fine set a pipes
you got on you there, rafe.
Aw.
Ain't he, Barn?
How come you quit singing?
Oh, that wasn't my key.
Oh.
Well,
I guess I better be gettin' on.
I enjoyed the sing-along.
Okay.
I'll see ya, rafe.
Wait a minute, rafe.
Barn, why don't you take rafe
along to them singin' tryouts?
Huh
how 'bout it, rafe?
Wouldn't hurt none.
What are y'all talkin' about?
They're having singin' tryouts
at town hall.
Why don't you sing for 'em?
I couldn't do that.
Well, why not?
'Cause.
'Cause he just couldn't,
that's why.
You're right to refuse, rafe.
I'm surprised at you.
What's wrong?
What's wrong
is that rafe don't have
no trained singing voice.
You wanna get up there
with the rest of us
and make a fool
out of yourself, rafe?
Uh...
They're liable to
ask you questions
only a trained
musician understands.
Like what?
Well, suppose they
was to ask you
"can you sing a cappella?"
Would you know what to do?
No.
Well, there you are.
Why get up and
embarrass yourself?
Hey, Barn?
Suppose they asked you
if you can sing a cappella.
What'll you do?
Well, I'd do it.
♪ A cappella
♪ a cappella...
Well, I don't know
the rest of the words
but that's it.
I see. Uh, Barn,
I think all they want
is to find out
how good a voice you got.
Why don't you take rafe over
there and have him sing for 'em?
You want rafe here to be
embarrassed and humiliated?
They want people up there
with musical backgrounds.
Well, it was just an idea.
That don't mean you have
to stop singing, rafe.
You just go ahead and do it.
You sing in the
bathtub, don't you?
Well, you go right
ahead and do that.
Can I ask a question?
What is it, rafe?
What time are
these here tryouts?
Right about now,
I guess. Why?
I'm goin' over there.
Huh?
Well, I reckon since
they ain't never around
when I'm takin' a bath,
I best go on over there.
Now, rafe, listen...
Go with him, Barn.
Go on with him.
Maybe on the way over there
you can teach him
how to sing a cappella.
How'd that go again?
♪ A cappella, a cappella
that's catchy.
So, the audition
went pretty good?
Yeah, it did.
You know, it was one of them
electric moments in the theater.
When the last note died down,
there was this hush
fell over the hall, you know.
You'd never even a-known
anybody was there.
Was there?
Well, sure.
All the other tryouters.
I wish you
could have heard me, Andy.
Yeah.
How'd rafe do?
Oh, all right, I guess.
Say, ope, uh,
I wonder if you'd mind
holdin' down on the sweepin'.
See, that raises dust,
and that's
the worst possible thing
for the "larnyx."
The what?
The "larnyx."
Th-that's the organ
in your throat.
You got an organ stuck
in your throat, Barney?
That's the thing that you use
for singin' and talkin'.
It's called a voice box.
Well, yeah, but the more
correct medical terminology
is the "larnyx."
Good word to know.
And you don't want me
to sweep any dust into it.
That's right, 'cause I'm gonna
use it for singin'.
I'll just go in the back room
and wait till
the dust all settles.
Oh, hi, John.
How'd tryouts go?
Very, very well.
Oh.
A truly outstanding voice.
I'm sure we've discovered
Really?
Well, I'll be dogged.
Who is it?
It's so genuine.
Fully natural feeling.
Perfect pitch.
Well.
Yes.
Amazing he's kept it
to himself all this time.
Mayberry is going to have
a representative we can all
be proud of at the musicale.
Ain't that somethin'?
You still ain't told me who won.
Andy, I want to thank you
for sending over rafe Hollister.
Rafe Hollister?!
Yes. Why not?
He has a remarkable voice.
You must have known that, Andy,
or you wouldn't have
sent him over.
It was a fine idea.
It was just a suggestion.
It was the best I heard.
Now I must get over
to the mayor's office.
Mrs. Jeffries is waiting there
to hear about our choice.
Yeah. Well,
thanks again, Andy.
Okay, I'll see you, John.
That means Barney
ain't gonna be
the one to sing, huh, paw?
Oh, well, uh, uh, yeah.
Then I guess it's all right
if I sweep.
Uh...
I'm, uh...
I'm sorry, Barn.
Oh, oh, th-that's all right.
I just had the wrong selection.
Mm.
Picked somethin'
from the light classics
and it was just
over their heads.
What'd you sing for 'em?
Uh, "cherry Berry bend."
Oh-oh, I see, and
they didn't like it?
It was over their heads.
In fact, it was so
over their heads,
why, t-they stopped me
right in the middle of it.
Oh.
Oh, well, uh,
well, that's a, that's a shame.
Oh, it was...
It was over their heads.
Well, try again next year.
Yeah, darn right.
Yeah.
Next time, uh,
I'll just be
a little bit smarter.
No more
"cherry Berry bend."
Oh, no, no
"cherry Berry bend."
It's over their heads.
Right.
You wanted to see me?
Yes, I do, sheriff.
I most certainly do
want to see you.
What is this, some sort
of joke you're pulling?
Huh?
John masters was just in here
and he told us the choice
for the musicale...
Rafe Hollister!
You want rafe Hollister
to represent us
at the musicale.
I understand this was your idea.
No. I suggested
he go up there and sing,
but John masters
picked him fair and square.
What's wrong
with rafe singin' anyway?
What's wrong?
Sheriff, you must
face the facts.
Rafe Hollister simply
is not presentable.
His appearance,
the way he dresses...
And to present him
at my organization...
A club that has been
dedicated to the finer things?
Never.
Rafe's already been told he won.
Then you just tell him
he didn't win.
Rafe Hollister was your idea.
You just march yourself
right out to his place
and tell him
he will not be needed.
How can I tell him
a thing like that?
Tell him anything...
Tell him it was all a mistake...
But you make it clear to him
that he will not be representing
the fair city of Mayberry.
Mayor...
Good day, sheriff.
I just couldn't believe my ears
when he told me he won
that singing contest.
Yeah, well...
Oh, howdy, rafe.
Oh, howdy, sheriff.
Martha been chewing
your ear off, has she?
No, we was just talking.
Uh, t-the reason I come out...
Don't it beat all?
I mean, the way
you just told me offhand
to go on over to town hall,
and then for me to get picked!
We ain't letting the sheriff
get a word in edgewise.
What did bring
you out here, Andy?
There's no trouble, is there?
Uh, no, no,
there's, uh, there's no trouble.
Uh... I, uh, just wanted
to congratulate you.
I know you'll do fine, rafe.
Just, just fine.
That's, uh, that's all
I wanted to tell you.
You didn't tell him.
I couldn't, mayor.
Oh, really, sheriff.
We can't do it to him, mayor.
It means too much.
Well, it means
a lot to the town, too,
to have somebody
up on that stage
we won't be ashamed of.
Well, what you so worried
about rafe for, anyway?
What am I so worried about...?
His appearance.
Why, he's...
He's seedy!
Rafe'll get dressed up
for the musicale.
Oh, will he?
Well, sheriff Taylor,
I am holding you
personally responsible
for his appearance.
Well, how do I look?
Well, uh...
Rafe, I, I declare,
you, you look fine.
You, you really do.
You look just fine.
Well, I figured for a
big musicale like this,
a fella ought to get dressed up.
Well, you look fine.
I would have greased my shoes,
but every time I do that,
the cats all follow me.
Yeah, well, uh, rafe, uh,
why don't you come back
in about a hour?
I got some work I have to do
and then we'll go
to town hall and practice.
All right.
I think I'll leave
my coat and tie
in the truck, though.
I hate to be dressed up
in the middle of the day.
Oh, boy, ange.
Yeah.
Boy, I'm in trouble.
What are you going to do?
He shows up over
there at the musicale
looking like that,
the mayor and Mrs.
Jeffries will have a fit.
Well, I guess I'll
just have to go out
and get him some clothes.
How you going to know his sizes?
Just have to guess.
Come on.
Well, I'm back.
You ready to go?
Oh, I'll be with you
in a minute, rafe.
Can't figure it out.
Figure what?
Our records are off
something fierce.
Ink must've got smudged.
Somebody we took
in for moonshinin'
April a year ago, address
up on Willow creek road.
Moonshiner?
Last April, was it?
Well, that's me.
You took me in about then.
Can it be?
By dog, you're right.
Now we can set things straight.
But I done my time,
and I ain't
been moonshinin' since.
Well, I mean...
Not so's you could notice.
That ain't what I mean, rafe.
Seems we made
a terrible mistake.
We forgot to give you
your suit of clothes
when we turned you loose.
You know how the government
gives released convicts a suit
so they can start life afresh?
You know, you've seen it
in the jailhouse picture shows.
Well, Andy, I was only
in the lockup ten days.
Oh, that don't make
no difference, rafe.
You did wrong...
Mighty wrong.
Going to have to take
the full consequences.
Oh.
Uh, Barn?
Uh, you want to get me
the, the suit of clothes out
for case number 68456735?
I finally found our man.
Huh?
Oh!
Uh, yeah.
I don't need no clothes.
You have to take
them clothes, rafe,
and you have to wear 'em.
Otherwise, I'm gonna get
in a peck of trouble.
I wouldn't want that.
No. And then we can go over to
the town hall for that practice.
Yeah.
Better hurry, rafe.
Come on.
You ready, rafe?
Come on out.
Well, you look fine, rafe.
Just as fine as wine.
I believe I'd rather spend
another ten days in jail
than wear
these government clothes.
You'll forget it, rafe,
when you get to singing.
Singing?
I got all I can do to breathe.
You'll get used to it.
Well, howdy,
Mrs. Hollister.
Howdy, Andy.
Look at that rafe.
Don't he look good?
Andy? Andy!
Sure is something, rafe.
You look good enough
to get buried.
I feel like I'm fixin' to.
The mayor and
Mrs. Jeffries
they're on their way in here.
Good.
We're ready for 'em.
Afternoon, mayor,
Mrs. Jeffries.
Come right on in.
Yes, sir.
Look who's here, rafe.
Howdy, mayor,
Mrs. Jeffries.
Don't rafe look nice?
Tell you the truth, I feel
like I'm about to strangle.
These are the tightest britches
I ever had on.
Uh, rafe, you, uh,
you want to put my guitar
in the case back there?
Rafe does look nice, don't he?
Well, I don't know.
Oh, I suppose he looks
good enough to get by.
It'll be all right
as long as he doesn't
associate with anyone.
Yes. Yes.
You see to that, sheriff.
And now, the final performer
in our program
comes from right here
in our host town.
It's with great pleasure,
ladies and gentlemen,
that I introduce
the representative
from Mayberry...
Mr. Rafe Hollister.
Thank you all.
I appreciate
all of you coming out tonight.
Well, howdy, mayor,
Mrs. Jeffries.
Y'all here again?
And accompanying
Mr. Hollister
on guitar will be
sheriff Andy Taylor.
Mrs. Dennis, I didn't...
I mean, we didn't...
Well, everybody
else is settin' down
I reckon I'll set, too.
Ready, Andy?
When you're ready,
Mr. Hollister.
Well, go ahead on.
♪ Look down, look down
♪ that lonesome road
♪ before you travel on
♪ look up, look up
♪ and seek your maker
♪ 'fore Gabriel blows his horn
♪ weary totin' such a load
♪ trudgin' down
that lonesome road ♪
♪ Look down, look down
♪ that lonesome road
♪ before you travel on
♪ weary totin' such a load
♪ trudgin' down
that lonesome road ♪
♪ Look down, look down
♪ that lonesome road
♪ before you travel on
Oh, he's really
wonderful, isn't he?
Yes.
And what a perfectly
marvelous idea
having him appear
dressed that way.
It made his selection
so much more authentic.
Mr. Hollister,
will you favor us
with another selection?
Want to?
Why not?
♪ Ridin' on
that new river train ♪
♪ Ridin' on that
new river train ♪
♪ The same old train
that brought me here ♪
♪ Gonna carry me back again
♪ darling, you can't love one ♪
♪ Darling, you can't love one ♪
♪ You can't love one
and have any fun ♪
♪ Oh, darling,
you can't love one ♪
♪ Darling, you can't love two ♪
♪ Darling,
you can't love two... ♪
Hey, Barn?
Hey, Barn!
What are you doing now?
Getting ready
for next year's tryouts.
So soon?
Yeah. I'm really
gonna work on it this time.
If you don't go inviting
the whole town to enter,
I'm gonna stand a chance.
What are you talking about?
The way you invited
rafe Hollister to enter,
and it turned out he had
a better selection and he won.
Oh, come on, Barn.
This time I got
the perfect selection.
What?
The "crawdad song."
Here, give me some
accompaniment.
All right.
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole ♪
♪ And we'll go down
to the crawdad hole ♪
♪ Oh, you get a line
and I'll get a pole ♪
Barney
I hate to butt in,
but ain't the way it goes.
I think it goes like this.
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole, honey ♪
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole, babe ♪
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole ♪
♪ And we'll go down
to the crawdad hole ♪
♪ Honey, baby, mine
you know, you're right, ope.
Hey, ope, why don't you go along
to them singing tryouts
next year?
How about it, Barn?
Want to take ope...
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole, honey ♪
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole, babe ♪
♪ You get a line
and I'll get a pole ♪
♪ And we'll go down
to the crawdad hole ♪
♪ Honey, baby, mine