The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 2, Episode 6 - Opie's Hobo Friend - full transcript
Andy and Opie are going fishing when they come across a wanderer who impresses Opie with his good humor and 'magic fish talk'. The man's name is Dave Browne and it isn't long before Barney hauls him before Andy for vagrancy. Dave isn't booked and he continues to form a bond with Opie. Opie soon begins to pick up his bad habits such as avoiding work and playing hooky to go fishing. This concerns Andy who must break up this friendship and get Opie back on the right track.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK
TO WORK TODAY, DO YOU, PAW?
NO, I EXPECT BARNEY
CAN HANDLE IT.
OH, BOY.
JUST YOU AND ME
HAVING A DAY OFF.
YEAH, WELL, I WORKED
HARD ALL WEEK
SO I FIGURE I EARNED IT.
AND I WORKED HARD
IN SCHOOL
SO I EARNED IT, TOO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, 'MORNING.
HI.
HOW THEY BITING?
TERRIBLE.
COULDN'T CATCH A THING
ALL MORNING.
TRIED EVERYTHING.
EVEN TRIED
A LITTLE MAGIC FISH TALK.
MAGIC FISH TALK?
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY A TALK.
IT'S MORE OF A GURGLE.
( gurgling )
CAN HE REALLY
TALK TO FISH, PAW?
WELL, IF THE MAN SAYS
HE'S DONE IT
I EXPECT HE CAN.
CAN'T SAY
AS HOW I CAN, THOUGH.
I NEVER RUN INTO A FISH
I CARED TO CONVERSE WITH.
FIRST TIME
THROUGH MAYBERRY?
YUP.
WELL, I'M THE
SHERIFF HERE.
LATER ON, IF YOU'RE OF A MIND
TO, STOP UPTOWN AND LOOK AROUND.
MIGHT JUST DO THAT --
THANKS, SHERIFF.
GOING TO TRY THE OTHER
SIDE OF THE LAKE NOW.
OKAY, WE'LL
SEE YOU.
GOOD LUCK.
WELL, I GUESS THE FISH JUST
WASN'T HUNGRY TODAY.
MAYBE THEY ATE
OUR SANDWICHES.
YEAH, PROBABLY LEFT
THEM AT HOME --
PUT THE STUFF IN BACK
AND GET RID OF THE BAIT NOW.
AHH...
YEP, YEP, YEP.
Barney:
GET ON IN THERE.
GO ON.
COME ON.
STAY RIGHT THERE.
STAND RIGHT THERE.
SECOND THOUGHT
COME OVER HERE IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM.
COME ON.
COME IN, COME IN!
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE,
BARNEY?
NO TROUBLE.
JUST BOOKING THIS MAN
ON A "VAG" CHARGE.
"VAG"?
VAGRANT.
OH.
CAUGHT HIM DOWN
AT THE FREIGHT YARD,
YOU KNOW, HANGING
AROUND DOWN THERE.
LOOKS LIKE HE WAS
GOING TO HOOK A RIDE,
MAYBE SLIP
OUT OF TOWN, YOU KNOW,
KIND OF -- SO I NABBED HIM,
BROUGHT HIM IN HERE.
ALL RIGHT, YOU
THERE-- NEXT!
COME ON, STEP UP
HERE TO THE DESK.
WELL, MOVE!
NOW, THIS HERE'S
THE HIGH SHERIFF.
NOW, YOU STATE
YOUR NAME.
DAVID BROWNE,
WITH AN "E".
HOW YOU DOING, SHERIFF?
HOW'S THE FISHIN'?
Andy: OH, JUST FAIR, CAUGHT
A COUPLE OF LITTLE ONES.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
DIDN'T DO THAT GOOD.
WATER'S A LITTLE MUDDY,
I GUESS.
I GOT RID
OF THE BAIT, PAW.
HI. DID YOUR
MAGIC FISH TALK
WORK ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE LAKE?
WHAT IS THIS?
Andy:
OH, WE RUN
INTO MR. BROWNE
WHEN WE WAS FISHING
THIS MORNING.
WHAT, UH... WHAT BRINGS YOU
TO OUR PART OF THE COUNTRY?
OH, A VACATION.
FISHING, STUFF LIKE THAT.
GETTING AWAY
FROM BUSINESS WORRIES.
BUSINESS?
HE AIN'T GOT A CENT ON HIM.
I SELDOM CARRY
MORE THAN $50
IN CASH.
AS A MATTER OF FACT
I FIND IT'S BETTER NOT
TO CARRY ANY MONEY AT ALL,
AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHY.
MAY I HAVE A COIN?
UM, SURE.
YOU SEE,
WHEN I HAVE MONEY
I FIND THAT IT ALWAYS,
UH...
DISAPPEARS.
THEN I NEED MONEY...
I FIND THERE'S ALWAYS
SOME AROUND SOMEWHERE.
SO WHY CARRY ANY?
IS THERE ANY MORE IN THERE?
OH, YEAH, LOTS MORE,
BUT WHY TAKE IT OUT?
IT WOULD ONLY, UM...
[ BLOWS ]
DISAPPEAR AGAIN.
JUST A LITTLE TRICK.
GOSH!
PRETTY GOOD, TOO --
HUH, BARN?
CAN YOU DO IT, BARNEY?
WELL, OF COURSE,
I CAN DO IT, ANY OLD TIME.
LET'S BOOK
HIM, SHERIFF.
WHAT'S WRONG, PAW?
OH, NO, NOTHING.
NOTHING WRONG.
NO. MR. BROWNE
JUST WANTED TO FIND OUT
IF THE SHERIFFIN'
DEPARTMENT'S ON ITS TOES
AND I TOLD HIM WE
ARE -- NIGHT AND DAY.
AND THAT WE CAN ASSURE HIM
THAT HE WON'T HAVE
ANY TROUBLE IN MAYBERRY.
THAT IS THE UNDERSTANDING,
AIN'T IT?
COULDN'T HAVE STATED IT BETTER.
MAY I SAY THAT YOUR CONFIDENCE
IS WELL-PLACED.
I, TOO, AM A DISCIPLE
OF LAW AND ORDER.
GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN.
OH, UH,
MR. BROWNE.
I'D SAY ONE DISAPPEARANCE
TRICK'S PLENTY.
OH.
CERTAINLY.
YEAH.
ANDY, YOU LET HIM
SLIP RIGHT THROUGH
YOUR FINGERS.
UH, OPIE,
WHY DON'T YOU...
WHY DON'T YOU GO
AND TRY YOUR LUCK
ON THE GUMBALL MACHINE
DOWN THE STREET?
THEY'RE BAD FOR MY TEETH.
WELL, ONE
WON'T HURT YOU.
I'D RATHER LISTEN ANYHOW.
YOU REST YOUR EARS
AND WORK YOUR JAW.
GO ON.
OKAY, PAW.
NOW, CHEW IT,
DON'T SWALLOW IT.
OKAY.
AIN'T NO USE TO RUN HIM
DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BOY.
ANYHOW, THE MAN'S
JUST PASSING THROUGH
AND WE DON'T AIM
TO PESTER FOLKS
THAT MAY BE A LITTLE BIT
DOWN ON THEIR LUCK.
BUT, ANDY, HE'S NO ORDINARY
HOBO, HE'S TOO SLICK!
HE MIGHT EVEN BE
A MEMBER OF SOME MOB!
YOU KNOW, THEY NEVER DID CLEAN
UP ALL THAT CAPONE GANG --
HE MIGHT BE
MR. BIG, HIMSELF!
WHAT WOULD MR. BIG
BE DOING IN MAYBERRY?
WELL, PLENTY! HIDEOUT!
MAYBE HE GOT SHOT UP AND HE COME
HERE TO RECOVER!
WELL, IT HAPPENS
ALL THE TIME!
SUIT YOURSELF, BARNEY,
BUT I THINK YOU'RE IN FOR
A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT --
HE SURE LOOKS HARMLESS TO ME!
YEAH, WELL,
JUST THE SAME
I'M GOING TO KEEP THESE
BABY BLUES WIDE OPEN --
VERY WIDE OPEN.
THESE LOOK VERY NICE.
THEN AGAIN,
THESE HAVE PRIZES.
WHY DON'T YOU
HAVE BOTH?
BUT I ONLY GOT
ONE PENNY.
YOU DON'T NEED
ANY MONEY
AS LONG AS YOU HAVE
THE MAGIC TOUCH
AND KNOW
THE MAGIC WORD.
IS IT LIKE FISH TALK?
NO, NO.
THIS IS GUMBALL TALK.
YOU SEE,
I PUT ONE HAND
UNDER HERE.
WATCH THAT HAND.
AND WITH
THE OTHER HAND
I REACH BACK HERE
AND SAY
THE MAGIC WORD...
TUSCARORA.
THERE YOU ARE.
SAY,
THAT'S PRETTY NIFTY.
HOW'S IT WORK?
SAY THE MAGIC WORD,
GIVE THE MAGIC TOUCH
AND THE MACHINE
GIVES ME THE GUMBALL.
BUT AIN'T THAT CHEATING?
CHEATING?
OH, MY NO, NO, NO.
WHY THIS LITTLE MACHINE
DOESN'T WANT YOUR MONEY.
WHAT WOULD A GUMBALL
MACHINE USE MONEY FOR?
DOES IT HAVE
TO BUY FOOD?
DOES IT HAVE TO
BUY CLOTHES?
OR, UH, ROLLER SKATES?
OR GO TO THE MOVIES?
NO, NO, IT DOESN'T WANT
YOUR MONEY AT ALL.
IT DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO BUY GUM.
RIGHT.
SO, WHETHER
YOU PUT IN A PENNY
OR JUST GIVE IT
A PAT WITH THE HAND
IT'S JUST AS HAPPY
EITHER WAY.
HAVE ANOTHER?
TUSCARORA.
ANOTHER?
TUSCARORA.
I DON'T LIKE
TO DO THIS
BUT THE LAW
IS THE LAW.
BARNEY, WHAT --
WILL YOU QUIT
ARRESTING HIM?
BUT, ANDY,
I GOT HIM
ON AN OUT-AND-OUT
SIX-THREE -- LOITERING.
I DON'T MEAN
TO BREAK THE LAW
BUT SEEMS
I GOT NO CHOICE.
IF I MOVE, I'M A VAGRANT.
IF I STAND STILL,
I'M LOITERING.
BUT, ANDY, HE'S GOT
NO VISIBLE MEANS OF SUPPORT.
WELL, MAYBE WE CAN FIND
A REMEDY FOR THAT.
LET'S SEE, I BELIEVE I DO KNOW
ONE JOB THAT'S OPEN.
AUNT BEE'S BEEN AFTER ME
FOR THE LONGEST KIND OF TIME
TO DO A LITTLE
HEDGE-TRIMMING.
HEDGE-TRIMMING?
THAT'S RIGHT --
IF A FELLA'S A HEDGE-TRIMMER,
WHY, HE'S NOT A VAGRANT.
AND IF HE'S TRIMMING,
HE'S NOT LOITERING.
I RECKON I CAN HANDLE THAT.
GOOD, GOOD,
GO ON OUT TO THE CAR
AND I'LL DRIVE YOU
OVER TO THE HOUSE.
FINISH THIS,
WILL YOU, BARNEY?
BOY, IF THAT
AIN'T SOMETHING.
INVITING HIM
RIGHT TO YOUR HOUSE.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'LL HAVE A WELCOME WAGON
DOWN AT THE FREIGHT YARDS.
OH, BARNEY.
FIRST, WE MUST
DETERMINE
PRECISELY WHAT TYPE
OF ATMOSPHERE
WE DESIRE TO CREATE.
THE STATELY, DIGNIFIED
SOLID FEELING
OF THE HEDGES AROUND
BUCKINGHAM PALACE
OR THE SHAPELY
FREE FORM
THAT SURROUNDS
THE FOUNTAINS OF ROME?
PAW USUALLY JUST
LOPS OFF THE TOPS.
PERHAPS, AN ORIENTAL
MOTIF IS INDICATED.
WHERE YOU TAKE
THE SHRUBBERY
AND CAREFULLY MOLD IT
INTO LIVING SCULPTURE
BY DISCIPLINING
THE OLD
AND INTERWEAVING
THE NEW.
PAW USUALLY JUST...
Both:
...LOPS OFF THE TOPS.
DON'T THEY WORK?
OH, YES.
BUT THERE'S A GREAT DEAL
OF DISCUSSION
THAT ENTERS INTO THIS.
NEVER START A JOB WITHOUT
THOROUGHLY TALKING IT OUT.
NEVER STINT
ON THE DISCUSSION STAGE.
THAT'S WHAT SEPARATES MAN
FROM THE APES.
I FAVOR
BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OKAY BY ME.
BUCKINGHAM
PALACE IT IS.
WE'LL START FIRST
THING TOMORROW.
TOMORROW?
YES, I'LL BE FRESHER THEN.
IT'S THE MOST PERFECT DAY
TO START ANY JOB -- TOMORROW.
THE MOST MARVELOUS DAY
THAT WAS EVER INVENTED.
WHEY, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING A MAN CAN'T DO...
TOMORROW.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
WELL, IF I DON'T HAVE TO
WORK,I'LL TAKE YOU.
OPIE, WHAT'S GOT
INTO YOU THIS MORNING?
YOUR ROOM IS A MESS.
YOUR CLOTHES ARE
ALL OVER THE PLACE,
COLORING BOOKS, TOYS IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
COULDN'T I DO IT TOMORROW?
Aunt Bee:
TOMORROW?
YOUNG MAN, YOU HOP UP
FROM THERE RIGHT NOW
AND DO LIKE AUNT BEE SAYS.
CAN'T WE DISCUSS IT FIRST?
HOW'S THAT?
TALK IT OVER.
THAT'S WHAT SEPARATES US
FROM THE APES.
WOULD YOU MIND
RUNNING OVER THAT
AGAIN RIGHT SLOW?
COULDN'T I DO IT TOMORROW?
IT'S THE PERFECT TIME
TO START ANY JOB -- TOMORROW.
TOMORROW? YOUR TOMORROW'S
REALLY GOING TO SMART
IF YOU DON'T
PICK UP THAT ROOM
AND DO IT NOW
SO YOU WON'T BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.
OKAY, PAW.
GO ON.
WHERE DOES HE GET
SUCH IDEAS?
I DON'T KNOW.
GONNA CUT IT TODAY,
MR. DAVE?
YUP, I SUPPOSE SO.
HEY.
WHICH WAY IS THAT
LAKE FROM HERE?
THE LAKE? THAT WAY,
ABOUT A MILE.
I THOUGHT SO.
I JUST HEARD
A FISH JUMP.
YOU MUST HAVE
AWFUL GOOD EARS.
WELL, YOU GOT TO LISTEN
IN A VERY SPECIAL WAY.
OOP! THERE HE
GOES AGAIN.
YOU HEAR HIM?
I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE.
OH, HE'S
A BIG FELLOW.
ABOUT 13 INCHES,
ONE BLUE EYE
PART OF HIS
TAIL FIN MISSING.
CAN YOU TELL
ALL THAT?
WELL, I'M
PART INDIAN,
YOU KNOW.
YOU ARE?
OH, YEAH.
HE'S JUST LYING
DOWN THERE
WAITING FOR A SMART FELLOW
TO LOWER A ROPE TO HIM.
I GOT TO GO
TO SCHOOL.
I BET I COULD CATCH HIM
WITH MY GOLLY-WOBBLER.
WHAT'S THAT?
WHY, I THOUGHT
EVERYBODY KNEW WHAT
A GOLLY-WOBBLER WAS.
IT'S A LITTLE
INVENTION OF MINE.
FISH JUST FLOCK
AROUND IT.
NOW, FISH WERE MADE
TO BE CAUGHT AND EATEN.
IT'S ALMOST THE DUTY
OF MANKIND TO DO THAT.
AND I'M GOING
TO DO MY DUTY.
SEE YOU, OPE.
AUNT BEE, I BELIEVE THAT'S AS
GOOD A LUNCH AS I EVER HAD!
WELL, THEN, ANOTHER
LITTLE PIECE OF PIE.
OH, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO,
FATTEN ME UP?
OH, COME ON, NOW --
NO, NOW I GOT TO
GO TO WORK, AUNT BEE!
A BIT MORE.
HI, ANYBODY HOME?
HI, BARN, I'M LEAVING
IN A SECOND.
WELL, I'M HERE ON OFFICIAL
BUSINESS, I GOT ME A PRISONER.
PRISONER?
UH-HUH, I NABBED HIM COMING IN
THE BACK DOOR OF THE JAILHOUSE
AFTER A FISH POLE.
A FISH POLE?
I GUESS
THE PROPER CHARGE
WOULD BE JUST PLAIN,
EVERYDAY HOOKEY.
OPIE.
OPIE, YOU NEVER
DID THAT BEFORE.
NO, PAW.
NOW, YOU SATISFIED?
YOUR PAL'S BEGINNING
TO AFFECT YOUR OWN BOY.
Andy: OPIE, WHAT MADE YOU
DO A THING LIKE THAT?
WHY EVEN ASK HIM?
YOU KNOW. I KNOW.
BARNEY...
IT'S PLAIN FOR
EVERYBODY TO SEE.
THE BOY NEVER PLAYED
HOOKEY BEFORE.
NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN
HE DOES, NO MYSTERY TO ME.
BARNEY, WAIT!
OPIE, I WANT YOU
TO TELL ME
WHO'S BEEN TEACHING YOU
HOW TO PLAY HOOKEY.
OPIE.
YEAH?
YOU'RE SURE, NOW?
WELL, DON'T YOU TOUCH
A THING.
I'LL SEND ONE OF OUR MEN
OVER THERE RIGHT AWAY.
OH, ANDY, EVERYTHING'S
BREAKING LOOSE.
FIRST MRS. TILLMAN HAD AN APPLE
PIE STOLEN FROM HER WINDOW.
NOW JESS CRAWFORD JUST
REPORTED A CHICKEN THIEF.
IT'S A REGULAR
REIGN OF TERROR!
AND WHAT'S MORE, I GOT
A PRETTY FAIR IDEA
JUST WHO'S BEHIND IT.
YOUR FRIEND
PETE THE TRAMP.
WHERE'S MY GUN?
HI, PAW.
OH, HI, OPE.
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME TO JOIN
ME AND BARNEY FOR LUNCH.
AUNT BEE MADE US SOME EXTRA
SPECIAL BOLOGNA SANDWICHES.
I ALREADY HAD LUNCH, PAW.
YOU DID?
WITH MR. DAVE.
WHAT DID YOU HAVE?
ROAST CHICKEN.
YOU SET UP
THE ROADBLOCK!
I'LL GET THE CAR.
WAIT A MINUTE.
SOUNDS LIKE
QUITE A FEED.
FOR DESSERT, WE HAD APPLE PIE.
ANDY, YOU HEARD?
UH, WHERE DID MR. DAVE
GET THE CHICKEN AND THE PIE?
FROM THE SAME MAGIC
HE USES ALL THE TIME.
TOMORROW, HE SAYS,
HE'S GONNA HAVE BEEF STEAK.
BEEF STEAK?
OH, MY GOSH,
THERE GOES A WHOLE COW.
YOU KNOW, PAW
HOBOIN' SURE SEEMS LIKE A LOT
MORE FUN THAN SHERIFFIN'.
THEY SURE DO SEEM TO EAT BETTER.
I GUESS THAT'S
BECAUSE THEY'RE SO SMART.
MR. DAVE INVENTED
THE GOLLY-WOBBLE
SUPER FISH-CATCHER.
HE GAVE ME THIS ONE TO KEEP.
UH, OPE, YOU'D BETTER
RUN ON BACK TO SCHOOL.
OKAY, PAW.
THERE. NOW YOU
SATISFIED?
A FIEND'S
ON THE LOOSE.
CITIZENS LIVIN'
IN TERROR.
WE GOT TO GO
DOWN TO HIS SHACK
AND SMOKE HIM OUT,
USE TEAR GAS.
YEAH, I BELIEVE I'LL GO DOWN
AND PAY HIM A VISIT.
WE'LL MOVE IN FROM
THE HIGH GROUND
AND SURROUND HIM.
THROW A CORDON
AROUND HIS HIDEOUT.
LET ME SEE IF
I GOT MY BULLET.
YEAH. YEAH.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
YOU STAY HERE.
I'M GOIN' ALONE.
UH...
WELL, SHERIFF, IT'S AN HONOR.
WHERE'S OPIE?
HE'S IN SCHOOL.
DRAG UP SOMETHIN'
AND SIT DOWN.
MAKIN' A NEW FISH LURE.
I GAVE THE OTHER ONE
I HAD TO OPIE.
YEAH, HE SHOWED
IT TO ME...
WHEN HE TOLD ME ABOUT
THE CHICKEN DINNER.
OH, THAT. YEAH.
TOO BAD ABOUT THAT POOR BIRD.
RUN DOWN IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE ROAD BY A NEW SPORTS CAR.
I TRIED TO GET
THE LICENSE NUMBER
BUT YOU UNDERSTAND --
ALL THAT DUST AND EVERYTHING.
WHAT RUN OVER THE PIE?
THE PIE WAS, UH...
UH, THE PIE, UH...
WELL, THAT'S NOT WHY I'M HERE.
GOOD.
IT'S ABOUT OPIE.
SOMETHIN' WRONG?
YEAH, THERE'S
SOMETHIN' WRONG.
HE ATE TOO MUCH?
NO. IT GOES A LITTLE
DEEPER THAN THAT.
WELL, UH, WHAT IS IT?
I'VE GROWN AWFUL FOND
OF THAT YOUNG FELLA.
WHAT'S WRONG?
THERE SEEMS TO BE
SOMETHING WRONG
WITH HIS THINKIN'.
HE'S GOTTEN A
LITTLE TWISTED
ON THINGS LATELY.
LIKE BEIN' ABLE
TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE
'TWEEN RIGHT
AND WRONG.
NOT THAT THAT'S
AN EASY THING.
A LOT OF GROWNUPS
STILL STRUGGLIN'
WITH THAT
SAME PROBLEM
BUT IT'S ESPECIALLY DIFFICULT
FOR A YOUNGSTER
'CAUSE THINGS RUB OFF
ON 'EM SO EASY.
I SEE.
YOU'RE SUGGESTIN' THAT MAYBE
I'M NOT FIT COMPANY FOR OPIE?
THAT WOULD SEEM TO BE THE CASE.
WELL, SHERIFF,
MAYBE I DO LOOK AT THINGS
DIFFERENTLY THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
IS THAT WRONG?
I LIVE BY MY WITS.
I'M NOT ABOVE BENDING
THE LAW NOW AND THEN
TO KEEP CLOTHES ON MY BACK
OR FOOD IN MY STOMACH.
I LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE
THAT OTHER PEOPLE
WOULD JUST LOVE TO LIVE
IF THEY ONLY HAD THE COURAGE.
WHO'S TO SAY THAT THE BOY WOULD
BE HAPPIER YOUR WAY OR MINE?
WHY NOT LET HIM DECIDE?
NAH, I'M AFRAID
IT DON'T WORK THAT WAY.
YOU CAN'T LET A YOUNG 'UN
DECIDE FOR HIMSELF.
HE'LL GRAB AT THE FIRST FLASHY
THING WITH SHINY RIBBONS ON IT.
THEN WHEN HE FINDS OUT THERE'S
A HOOK IN IT, IT'S TOO LATE.
WRONG IDEAS COME PACKAGED
WITH SO MUCH GLITTER
IT'S HARD TO CONVINCE HIM
THAT OTHER THINGS
MIGHT BE BETTER IN THE LONG RUN.
ALL A PARENT CAN DO
IS SAY, "WAIT. TRUST ME,"
AND TRY TO KEEP TEMPTATION AWAY.
THAT MEANS THAT YOU'RE
INVITING ME TO LEAVE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, YOU'RE WEARIN' A BADGE,
SO I'LL LEAVE.
THAT WASN'T SO DIFFICULT.
YOUR PROBLEM'S SOLVED.
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
THAT BOY THINKS
JUST ABOUT EVER'THIN'
YOU DO IS PERFECT
SO MY PROBLEM'S JUST BEGINNIN'.
YOU LEFT BEHIND AN AWFUL LOT
OF UNSCRAMBLIN' TO BE DONE.
NOW, LOOK...
GOOD-BYE, MR. DAVE.
COME ON.
NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT
THIS TIME, SHERIFF.
CAUGHT HIM
WITH THE GOODS.
PURSE SNATCHER.
A PURSE SNATCHER?
WHOSE IS IT?
YOU CAN JUST ABOUT GUESS,
IT'S AUNT BEE'S.
GOT HER NAME IN IT.
NO TRICKS
FROM YOU, NOW.
UH, OPIE, MAYBE YOU
BETTER WAIT OUTSIDE
FOR A FEW MINUTES.
YOU MEAN YOU TOOK
AUNT BEE'S POCKETBOOK?
MR. DAVE? YOU DID THAT?
BUT THAT'S WHERE SHE KEEPS
MONEY TO BUY FOOD.
HOW'D IT HAPPEN?
I WAS OUT ON PATROL
AND HE RUN RIGHT
IN FRONT OF ME
CARRYIN' THIS
WOMAN'S POCKETBOOK.
I TOLD YOU I WAS
GONNA KEEP THESE
OPEN, AND I DID.
EVERYTHING JUST CLICKED,
FELL RIGHT INTO PLACE,
AND I REALIZED THAT
THIS WASN'T HIS.
BOY, HE PLAYED IT JUST LIKE
HE WANTED TO GET NABBED.
HE DID, HUH?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, COME
ON, LET'S GO.
COME ON.
COME ON.
RIGHT OVER THERE.
THAT CELL
RIGHT THERE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
I'M SAVIN' THE OTHER CELL
FOR THE REST OF THE GANG.
YOU REALLY STOLE IT?
BARNEY, MAYBE YOU
BETTER DRIVE HIM HOME.
YEAH.
I'LL TELL AUNT BEE
ABOUT THE POCKETBOOK.
( door closing )
GETTIN' CAUGHT LIKE
THAT'S PRETTY CARELESS
FOR A MAN THAT
LIVES BY HIS WITS.
SHERIFF, YOU'VE GOT
YOUR EVIDENCE,
YOU'VE GOT YOUR MAN --
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
WELL, THERE MAY BE
ONE OTHER THING
THAT MIGHT BE WORTH MENTIONING.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW
THAT THIS IS A POCKETBOOK
THAT MY AUNT BEE
THREW OUT IN THE TRASH.
( train whistle blowing )
WELL, THAT'LL BE THE
3:45 STOPPIN' FOR WATER.
NO LAW I KNOW OF AGAINST
TRASH COLLECTIN'.
MR. DAVE, I'D SAY YOU
GOT A TRAIN TO CATCH.
SUIT YOURSELF.
OH, I...
I, UH...
SURE DO APPRECIATE --
SHERIFF, LIKE YOU SAY,
I GOT A TRAIN TO CATCH.
YOU DON'T WANT YOUR DEPUTY
TO PICK ME UP
FOR LOITERIN', DO YOU?
YEAH.
( door closes )
HI, BARN!
HUH, SEE OLD DAVE BROWNE GOT TO
YOU WITH THE MAGIC, TOO?
YOU'RE TRYING IT NOW, EH?
YEAH, WELL, YOU DON'T LEARN THIS
STUFF OVERNIGHT, YOU KNOW.
I MEAN, THIS TAKES SOMETIMES
YEARS OF PRACTICE
TO GET YOUR HANDS TO MANIPULATE
JUST RIGHT.
IT DOES?
YEAH -- LISTEN TO THIS...
"NIMBLENESS, AGILITY
AND DEXTERITY
ARE THE KEY WORDS
TO HAND MAGIC.
AND THESE CAN BE YOURS
IF YOU ARE WILLING
TO DEVOTE
THE PATIENCE AND CONSTANT
PRACTICE NECESSARY."
WATCH THIS.
OKAY, SEE,
NOTHING UP THE SLEEVES.
ALL RIGHT, WATCH -- READY?
YOU WATCHING?
YEAH, I'M WATCHING.
OKAY, HERE SHE GOES,
DISAPPEAR!
IT TAKES A WHILE.
YEAH, THAT WAS GOOD, THOUGH,
IF YOU HADN'T HAD DROPPED IT.
PAW, WANT TO
SEE SOMETHING?
SOMETHING I LEARNED
FROM MR. BROWNE!
WATCH THIS, BARNEY!
HEY, THAT'S GOOD!
YEAH, WELL, I GOT TO BE
GOING OUT ON PATROL.
BARNEY, YOU DO
THAT TRICK, DON'T YOU?
YEAH, BUT I GOT TO
GET GOING NOW --
WELL, LET'S SEE YOU DO IT.
NO, NOT NOW.
OH, COME ON -- WHY NOT?
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO STAND AROUND AND PLAY
LITTLE KID GAMES,
THAT'S WHY NOT!
TO WORK TODAY, DO YOU, PAW?
NO, I EXPECT BARNEY
CAN HANDLE IT.
OH, BOY.
JUST YOU AND ME
HAVING A DAY OFF.
YEAH, WELL, I WORKED
HARD ALL WEEK
SO I FIGURE I EARNED IT.
AND I WORKED HARD
IN SCHOOL
SO I EARNED IT, TOO.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, 'MORNING.
HI.
HOW THEY BITING?
TERRIBLE.
COULDN'T CATCH A THING
ALL MORNING.
TRIED EVERYTHING.
EVEN TRIED
A LITTLE MAGIC FISH TALK.
MAGIC FISH TALK?
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY A TALK.
IT'S MORE OF A GURGLE.
( gurgling )
CAN HE REALLY
TALK TO FISH, PAW?
WELL, IF THE MAN SAYS
HE'S DONE IT
I EXPECT HE CAN.
CAN'T SAY
AS HOW I CAN, THOUGH.
I NEVER RUN INTO A FISH
I CARED TO CONVERSE WITH.
FIRST TIME
THROUGH MAYBERRY?
YUP.
WELL, I'M THE
SHERIFF HERE.
LATER ON, IF YOU'RE OF A MIND
TO, STOP UPTOWN AND LOOK AROUND.
MIGHT JUST DO THAT --
THANKS, SHERIFF.
GOING TO TRY THE OTHER
SIDE OF THE LAKE NOW.
OKAY, WE'LL
SEE YOU.
GOOD LUCK.
WELL, I GUESS THE FISH JUST
WASN'T HUNGRY TODAY.
MAYBE THEY ATE
OUR SANDWICHES.
YEAH, PROBABLY LEFT
THEM AT HOME --
PUT THE STUFF IN BACK
AND GET RID OF THE BAIT NOW.
AHH...
YEP, YEP, YEP.
Barney:
GET ON IN THERE.
GO ON.
COME ON.
STAY RIGHT THERE.
STAND RIGHT THERE.
SECOND THOUGHT
COME OVER HERE IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM.
COME ON.
COME IN, COME IN!
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE,
BARNEY?
NO TROUBLE.
JUST BOOKING THIS MAN
ON A "VAG" CHARGE.
"VAG"?
VAGRANT.
OH.
CAUGHT HIM DOWN
AT THE FREIGHT YARD,
YOU KNOW, HANGING
AROUND DOWN THERE.
LOOKS LIKE HE WAS
GOING TO HOOK A RIDE,
MAYBE SLIP
OUT OF TOWN, YOU KNOW,
KIND OF -- SO I NABBED HIM,
BROUGHT HIM IN HERE.
ALL RIGHT, YOU
THERE-- NEXT!
COME ON, STEP UP
HERE TO THE DESK.
WELL, MOVE!
NOW, THIS HERE'S
THE HIGH SHERIFF.
NOW, YOU STATE
YOUR NAME.
DAVID BROWNE,
WITH AN "E".
HOW YOU DOING, SHERIFF?
HOW'S THE FISHIN'?
Andy: OH, JUST FAIR, CAUGHT
A COUPLE OF LITTLE ONES.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
DIDN'T DO THAT GOOD.
WATER'S A LITTLE MUDDY,
I GUESS.
I GOT RID
OF THE BAIT, PAW.
HI. DID YOUR
MAGIC FISH TALK
WORK ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE LAKE?
WHAT IS THIS?
Andy:
OH, WE RUN
INTO MR. BROWNE
WHEN WE WAS FISHING
THIS MORNING.
WHAT, UH... WHAT BRINGS YOU
TO OUR PART OF THE COUNTRY?
OH, A VACATION.
FISHING, STUFF LIKE THAT.
GETTING AWAY
FROM BUSINESS WORRIES.
BUSINESS?
HE AIN'T GOT A CENT ON HIM.
I SELDOM CARRY
MORE THAN $50
IN CASH.
AS A MATTER OF FACT
I FIND IT'S BETTER NOT
TO CARRY ANY MONEY AT ALL,
AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHY.
MAY I HAVE A COIN?
UM, SURE.
YOU SEE,
WHEN I HAVE MONEY
I FIND THAT IT ALWAYS,
UH...
DISAPPEARS.
THEN I NEED MONEY...
I FIND THERE'S ALWAYS
SOME AROUND SOMEWHERE.
SO WHY CARRY ANY?
IS THERE ANY MORE IN THERE?
OH, YEAH, LOTS MORE,
BUT WHY TAKE IT OUT?
IT WOULD ONLY, UM...
[ BLOWS ]
DISAPPEAR AGAIN.
JUST A LITTLE TRICK.
GOSH!
PRETTY GOOD, TOO --
HUH, BARN?
CAN YOU DO IT, BARNEY?
WELL, OF COURSE,
I CAN DO IT, ANY OLD TIME.
LET'S BOOK
HIM, SHERIFF.
WHAT'S WRONG, PAW?
OH, NO, NOTHING.
NOTHING WRONG.
NO. MR. BROWNE
JUST WANTED TO FIND OUT
IF THE SHERIFFIN'
DEPARTMENT'S ON ITS TOES
AND I TOLD HIM WE
ARE -- NIGHT AND DAY.
AND THAT WE CAN ASSURE HIM
THAT HE WON'T HAVE
ANY TROUBLE IN MAYBERRY.
THAT IS THE UNDERSTANDING,
AIN'T IT?
COULDN'T HAVE STATED IT BETTER.
MAY I SAY THAT YOUR CONFIDENCE
IS WELL-PLACED.
I, TOO, AM A DISCIPLE
OF LAW AND ORDER.
GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN.
OH, UH,
MR. BROWNE.
I'D SAY ONE DISAPPEARANCE
TRICK'S PLENTY.
OH.
CERTAINLY.
YEAH.
ANDY, YOU LET HIM
SLIP RIGHT THROUGH
YOUR FINGERS.
UH, OPIE,
WHY DON'T YOU...
WHY DON'T YOU GO
AND TRY YOUR LUCK
ON THE GUMBALL MACHINE
DOWN THE STREET?
THEY'RE BAD FOR MY TEETH.
WELL, ONE
WON'T HURT YOU.
I'D RATHER LISTEN ANYHOW.
YOU REST YOUR EARS
AND WORK YOUR JAW.
GO ON.
OKAY, PAW.
NOW, CHEW IT,
DON'T SWALLOW IT.
OKAY.
AIN'T NO USE TO RUN HIM
DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BOY.
ANYHOW, THE MAN'S
JUST PASSING THROUGH
AND WE DON'T AIM
TO PESTER FOLKS
THAT MAY BE A LITTLE BIT
DOWN ON THEIR LUCK.
BUT, ANDY, HE'S NO ORDINARY
HOBO, HE'S TOO SLICK!
HE MIGHT EVEN BE
A MEMBER OF SOME MOB!
YOU KNOW, THEY NEVER DID CLEAN
UP ALL THAT CAPONE GANG --
HE MIGHT BE
MR. BIG, HIMSELF!
WHAT WOULD MR. BIG
BE DOING IN MAYBERRY?
WELL, PLENTY! HIDEOUT!
MAYBE HE GOT SHOT UP AND HE COME
HERE TO RECOVER!
WELL, IT HAPPENS
ALL THE TIME!
SUIT YOURSELF, BARNEY,
BUT I THINK YOU'RE IN FOR
A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT --
HE SURE LOOKS HARMLESS TO ME!
YEAH, WELL,
JUST THE SAME
I'M GOING TO KEEP THESE
BABY BLUES WIDE OPEN --
VERY WIDE OPEN.
THESE LOOK VERY NICE.
THEN AGAIN,
THESE HAVE PRIZES.
WHY DON'T YOU
HAVE BOTH?
BUT I ONLY GOT
ONE PENNY.
YOU DON'T NEED
ANY MONEY
AS LONG AS YOU HAVE
THE MAGIC TOUCH
AND KNOW
THE MAGIC WORD.
IS IT LIKE FISH TALK?
NO, NO.
THIS IS GUMBALL TALK.
YOU SEE,
I PUT ONE HAND
UNDER HERE.
WATCH THAT HAND.
AND WITH
THE OTHER HAND
I REACH BACK HERE
AND SAY
THE MAGIC WORD...
TUSCARORA.
THERE YOU ARE.
SAY,
THAT'S PRETTY NIFTY.
HOW'S IT WORK?
SAY THE MAGIC WORD,
GIVE THE MAGIC TOUCH
AND THE MACHINE
GIVES ME THE GUMBALL.
BUT AIN'T THAT CHEATING?
CHEATING?
OH, MY NO, NO, NO.
WHY THIS LITTLE MACHINE
DOESN'T WANT YOUR MONEY.
WHAT WOULD A GUMBALL
MACHINE USE MONEY FOR?
DOES IT HAVE
TO BUY FOOD?
DOES IT HAVE TO
BUY CLOTHES?
OR, UH, ROLLER SKATES?
OR GO TO THE MOVIES?
NO, NO, IT DOESN'T WANT
YOUR MONEY AT ALL.
IT DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO BUY GUM.
RIGHT.
SO, WHETHER
YOU PUT IN A PENNY
OR JUST GIVE IT
A PAT WITH THE HAND
IT'S JUST AS HAPPY
EITHER WAY.
HAVE ANOTHER?
TUSCARORA.
ANOTHER?
TUSCARORA.
I DON'T LIKE
TO DO THIS
BUT THE LAW
IS THE LAW.
BARNEY, WHAT --
WILL YOU QUIT
ARRESTING HIM?
BUT, ANDY,
I GOT HIM
ON AN OUT-AND-OUT
SIX-THREE -- LOITERING.
I DON'T MEAN
TO BREAK THE LAW
BUT SEEMS
I GOT NO CHOICE.
IF I MOVE, I'M A VAGRANT.
IF I STAND STILL,
I'M LOITERING.
BUT, ANDY, HE'S GOT
NO VISIBLE MEANS OF SUPPORT.
WELL, MAYBE WE CAN FIND
A REMEDY FOR THAT.
LET'S SEE, I BELIEVE I DO KNOW
ONE JOB THAT'S OPEN.
AUNT BEE'S BEEN AFTER ME
FOR THE LONGEST KIND OF TIME
TO DO A LITTLE
HEDGE-TRIMMING.
HEDGE-TRIMMING?
THAT'S RIGHT --
IF A FELLA'S A HEDGE-TRIMMER,
WHY, HE'S NOT A VAGRANT.
AND IF HE'S TRIMMING,
HE'S NOT LOITERING.
I RECKON I CAN HANDLE THAT.
GOOD, GOOD,
GO ON OUT TO THE CAR
AND I'LL DRIVE YOU
OVER TO THE HOUSE.
FINISH THIS,
WILL YOU, BARNEY?
BOY, IF THAT
AIN'T SOMETHING.
INVITING HIM
RIGHT TO YOUR HOUSE.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'LL HAVE A WELCOME WAGON
DOWN AT THE FREIGHT YARDS.
OH, BARNEY.
FIRST, WE MUST
DETERMINE
PRECISELY WHAT TYPE
OF ATMOSPHERE
WE DESIRE TO CREATE.
THE STATELY, DIGNIFIED
SOLID FEELING
OF THE HEDGES AROUND
BUCKINGHAM PALACE
OR THE SHAPELY
FREE FORM
THAT SURROUNDS
THE FOUNTAINS OF ROME?
PAW USUALLY JUST
LOPS OFF THE TOPS.
PERHAPS, AN ORIENTAL
MOTIF IS INDICATED.
WHERE YOU TAKE
THE SHRUBBERY
AND CAREFULLY MOLD IT
INTO LIVING SCULPTURE
BY DISCIPLINING
THE OLD
AND INTERWEAVING
THE NEW.
PAW USUALLY JUST...
Both:
...LOPS OFF THE TOPS.
DON'T THEY WORK?
OH, YES.
BUT THERE'S A GREAT DEAL
OF DISCUSSION
THAT ENTERS INTO THIS.
NEVER START A JOB WITHOUT
THOROUGHLY TALKING IT OUT.
NEVER STINT
ON THE DISCUSSION STAGE.
THAT'S WHAT SEPARATES MAN
FROM THE APES.
I FAVOR
BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OKAY BY ME.
BUCKINGHAM
PALACE IT IS.
WE'LL START FIRST
THING TOMORROW.
TOMORROW?
YES, I'LL BE FRESHER THEN.
IT'S THE MOST PERFECT DAY
TO START ANY JOB -- TOMORROW.
THE MOST MARVELOUS DAY
THAT WAS EVER INVENTED.
WHEY, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING A MAN CAN'T DO...
TOMORROW.
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
WELL, IF I DON'T HAVE TO
WORK,I'LL TAKE YOU.
OPIE, WHAT'S GOT
INTO YOU THIS MORNING?
YOUR ROOM IS A MESS.
YOUR CLOTHES ARE
ALL OVER THE PLACE,
COLORING BOOKS, TOYS IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
COULDN'T I DO IT TOMORROW?
Aunt Bee:
TOMORROW?
YOUNG MAN, YOU HOP UP
FROM THERE RIGHT NOW
AND DO LIKE AUNT BEE SAYS.
CAN'T WE DISCUSS IT FIRST?
HOW'S THAT?
TALK IT OVER.
THAT'S WHAT SEPARATES US
FROM THE APES.
WOULD YOU MIND
RUNNING OVER THAT
AGAIN RIGHT SLOW?
COULDN'T I DO IT TOMORROW?
IT'S THE PERFECT TIME
TO START ANY JOB -- TOMORROW.
TOMORROW? YOUR TOMORROW'S
REALLY GOING TO SMART
IF YOU DON'T
PICK UP THAT ROOM
AND DO IT NOW
SO YOU WON'T BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.
OKAY, PAW.
GO ON.
WHERE DOES HE GET
SUCH IDEAS?
I DON'T KNOW.
GONNA CUT IT TODAY,
MR. DAVE?
YUP, I SUPPOSE SO.
HEY.
WHICH WAY IS THAT
LAKE FROM HERE?
THE LAKE? THAT WAY,
ABOUT A MILE.
I THOUGHT SO.
I JUST HEARD
A FISH JUMP.
YOU MUST HAVE
AWFUL GOOD EARS.
WELL, YOU GOT TO LISTEN
IN A VERY SPECIAL WAY.
OOP! THERE HE
GOES AGAIN.
YOU HEAR HIM?
I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE.
OH, HE'S
A BIG FELLOW.
ABOUT 13 INCHES,
ONE BLUE EYE
PART OF HIS
TAIL FIN MISSING.
CAN YOU TELL
ALL THAT?
WELL, I'M
PART INDIAN,
YOU KNOW.
YOU ARE?
OH, YEAH.
HE'S JUST LYING
DOWN THERE
WAITING FOR A SMART FELLOW
TO LOWER A ROPE TO HIM.
I GOT TO GO
TO SCHOOL.
I BET I COULD CATCH HIM
WITH MY GOLLY-WOBBLER.
WHAT'S THAT?
WHY, I THOUGHT
EVERYBODY KNEW WHAT
A GOLLY-WOBBLER WAS.
IT'S A LITTLE
INVENTION OF MINE.
FISH JUST FLOCK
AROUND IT.
NOW, FISH WERE MADE
TO BE CAUGHT AND EATEN.
IT'S ALMOST THE DUTY
OF MANKIND TO DO THAT.
AND I'M GOING
TO DO MY DUTY.
SEE YOU, OPE.
AUNT BEE, I BELIEVE THAT'S AS
GOOD A LUNCH AS I EVER HAD!
WELL, THEN, ANOTHER
LITTLE PIECE OF PIE.
OH, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO,
FATTEN ME UP?
OH, COME ON, NOW --
NO, NOW I GOT TO
GO TO WORK, AUNT BEE!
A BIT MORE.
HI, ANYBODY HOME?
HI, BARN, I'M LEAVING
IN A SECOND.
WELL, I'M HERE ON OFFICIAL
BUSINESS, I GOT ME A PRISONER.
PRISONER?
UH-HUH, I NABBED HIM COMING IN
THE BACK DOOR OF THE JAILHOUSE
AFTER A FISH POLE.
A FISH POLE?
I GUESS
THE PROPER CHARGE
WOULD BE JUST PLAIN,
EVERYDAY HOOKEY.
OPIE.
OPIE, YOU NEVER
DID THAT BEFORE.
NO, PAW.
NOW, YOU SATISFIED?
YOUR PAL'S BEGINNING
TO AFFECT YOUR OWN BOY.
Andy: OPIE, WHAT MADE YOU
DO A THING LIKE THAT?
WHY EVEN ASK HIM?
YOU KNOW. I KNOW.
BARNEY...
IT'S PLAIN FOR
EVERYBODY TO SEE.
THE BOY NEVER PLAYED
HOOKEY BEFORE.
NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN
HE DOES, NO MYSTERY TO ME.
BARNEY, WAIT!
OPIE, I WANT YOU
TO TELL ME
WHO'S BEEN TEACHING YOU
HOW TO PLAY HOOKEY.
OPIE.
YEAH?
YOU'RE SURE, NOW?
WELL, DON'T YOU TOUCH
A THING.
I'LL SEND ONE OF OUR MEN
OVER THERE RIGHT AWAY.
OH, ANDY, EVERYTHING'S
BREAKING LOOSE.
FIRST MRS. TILLMAN HAD AN APPLE
PIE STOLEN FROM HER WINDOW.
NOW JESS CRAWFORD JUST
REPORTED A CHICKEN THIEF.
IT'S A REGULAR
REIGN OF TERROR!
AND WHAT'S MORE, I GOT
A PRETTY FAIR IDEA
JUST WHO'S BEHIND IT.
YOUR FRIEND
PETE THE TRAMP.
WHERE'S MY GUN?
HI, PAW.
OH, HI, OPE.
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME TO JOIN
ME AND BARNEY FOR LUNCH.
AUNT BEE MADE US SOME EXTRA
SPECIAL BOLOGNA SANDWICHES.
I ALREADY HAD LUNCH, PAW.
YOU DID?
WITH MR. DAVE.
WHAT DID YOU HAVE?
ROAST CHICKEN.
YOU SET UP
THE ROADBLOCK!
I'LL GET THE CAR.
WAIT A MINUTE.
SOUNDS LIKE
QUITE A FEED.
FOR DESSERT, WE HAD APPLE PIE.
ANDY, YOU HEARD?
UH, WHERE DID MR. DAVE
GET THE CHICKEN AND THE PIE?
FROM THE SAME MAGIC
HE USES ALL THE TIME.
TOMORROW, HE SAYS,
HE'S GONNA HAVE BEEF STEAK.
BEEF STEAK?
OH, MY GOSH,
THERE GOES A WHOLE COW.
YOU KNOW, PAW
HOBOIN' SURE SEEMS LIKE A LOT
MORE FUN THAN SHERIFFIN'.
THEY SURE DO SEEM TO EAT BETTER.
I GUESS THAT'S
BECAUSE THEY'RE SO SMART.
MR. DAVE INVENTED
THE GOLLY-WOBBLE
SUPER FISH-CATCHER.
HE GAVE ME THIS ONE TO KEEP.
UH, OPE, YOU'D BETTER
RUN ON BACK TO SCHOOL.
OKAY, PAW.
THERE. NOW YOU
SATISFIED?
A FIEND'S
ON THE LOOSE.
CITIZENS LIVIN'
IN TERROR.
WE GOT TO GO
DOWN TO HIS SHACK
AND SMOKE HIM OUT,
USE TEAR GAS.
YEAH, I BELIEVE I'LL GO DOWN
AND PAY HIM A VISIT.
WE'LL MOVE IN FROM
THE HIGH GROUND
AND SURROUND HIM.
THROW A CORDON
AROUND HIS HIDEOUT.
LET ME SEE IF
I GOT MY BULLET.
YEAH. YEAH.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
YOU STAY HERE.
I'M GOIN' ALONE.
UH...
WELL, SHERIFF, IT'S AN HONOR.
WHERE'S OPIE?
HE'S IN SCHOOL.
DRAG UP SOMETHIN'
AND SIT DOWN.
MAKIN' A NEW FISH LURE.
I GAVE THE OTHER ONE
I HAD TO OPIE.
YEAH, HE SHOWED
IT TO ME...
WHEN HE TOLD ME ABOUT
THE CHICKEN DINNER.
OH, THAT. YEAH.
TOO BAD ABOUT THAT POOR BIRD.
RUN DOWN IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE ROAD BY A NEW SPORTS CAR.
I TRIED TO GET
THE LICENSE NUMBER
BUT YOU UNDERSTAND --
ALL THAT DUST AND EVERYTHING.
WHAT RUN OVER THE PIE?
THE PIE WAS, UH...
UH, THE PIE, UH...
WELL, THAT'S NOT WHY I'M HERE.
GOOD.
IT'S ABOUT OPIE.
SOMETHIN' WRONG?
YEAH, THERE'S
SOMETHIN' WRONG.
HE ATE TOO MUCH?
NO. IT GOES A LITTLE
DEEPER THAN THAT.
WELL, UH, WHAT IS IT?
I'VE GROWN AWFUL FOND
OF THAT YOUNG FELLA.
WHAT'S WRONG?
THERE SEEMS TO BE
SOMETHING WRONG
WITH HIS THINKIN'.
HE'S GOTTEN A
LITTLE TWISTED
ON THINGS LATELY.
LIKE BEIN' ABLE
TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE
'TWEEN RIGHT
AND WRONG.
NOT THAT THAT'S
AN EASY THING.
A LOT OF GROWNUPS
STILL STRUGGLIN'
WITH THAT
SAME PROBLEM
BUT IT'S ESPECIALLY DIFFICULT
FOR A YOUNGSTER
'CAUSE THINGS RUB OFF
ON 'EM SO EASY.
I SEE.
YOU'RE SUGGESTIN' THAT MAYBE
I'M NOT FIT COMPANY FOR OPIE?
THAT WOULD SEEM TO BE THE CASE.
WELL, SHERIFF,
MAYBE I DO LOOK AT THINGS
DIFFERENTLY THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
IS THAT WRONG?
I LIVE BY MY WITS.
I'M NOT ABOVE BENDING
THE LAW NOW AND THEN
TO KEEP CLOTHES ON MY BACK
OR FOOD IN MY STOMACH.
I LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE
THAT OTHER PEOPLE
WOULD JUST LOVE TO LIVE
IF THEY ONLY HAD THE COURAGE.
WHO'S TO SAY THAT THE BOY WOULD
BE HAPPIER YOUR WAY OR MINE?
WHY NOT LET HIM DECIDE?
NAH, I'M AFRAID
IT DON'T WORK THAT WAY.
YOU CAN'T LET A YOUNG 'UN
DECIDE FOR HIMSELF.
HE'LL GRAB AT THE FIRST FLASHY
THING WITH SHINY RIBBONS ON IT.
THEN WHEN HE FINDS OUT THERE'S
A HOOK IN IT, IT'S TOO LATE.
WRONG IDEAS COME PACKAGED
WITH SO MUCH GLITTER
IT'S HARD TO CONVINCE HIM
THAT OTHER THINGS
MIGHT BE BETTER IN THE LONG RUN.
ALL A PARENT CAN DO
IS SAY, "WAIT. TRUST ME,"
AND TRY TO KEEP TEMPTATION AWAY.
THAT MEANS THAT YOU'RE
INVITING ME TO LEAVE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, YOU'RE WEARIN' A BADGE,
SO I'LL LEAVE.
THAT WASN'T SO DIFFICULT.
YOUR PROBLEM'S SOLVED.
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
THAT BOY THINKS
JUST ABOUT EVER'THIN'
YOU DO IS PERFECT
SO MY PROBLEM'S JUST BEGINNIN'.
YOU LEFT BEHIND AN AWFUL LOT
OF UNSCRAMBLIN' TO BE DONE.
NOW, LOOK...
GOOD-BYE, MR. DAVE.
COME ON.
NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT
THIS TIME, SHERIFF.
CAUGHT HIM
WITH THE GOODS.
PURSE SNATCHER.
A PURSE SNATCHER?
WHOSE IS IT?
YOU CAN JUST ABOUT GUESS,
IT'S AUNT BEE'S.
GOT HER NAME IN IT.
NO TRICKS
FROM YOU, NOW.
UH, OPIE, MAYBE YOU
BETTER WAIT OUTSIDE
FOR A FEW MINUTES.
YOU MEAN YOU TOOK
AUNT BEE'S POCKETBOOK?
MR. DAVE? YOU DID THAT?
BUT THAT'S WHERE SHE KEEPS
MONEY TO BUY FOOD.
HOW'D IT HAPPEN?
I WAS OUT ON PATROL
AND HE RUN RIGHT
IN FRONT OF ME
CARRYIN' THIS
WOMAN'S POCKETBOOK.
I TOLD YOU I WAS
GONNA KEEP THESE
OPEN, AND I DID.
EVERYTHING JUST CLICKED,
FELL RIGHT INTO PLACE,
AND I REALIZED THAT
THIS WASN'T HIS.
BOY, HE PLAYED IT JUST LIKE
HE WANTED TO GET NABBED.
HE DID, HUH?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, COME
ON, LET'S GO.
COME ON.
COME ON.
RIGHT OVER THERE.
THAT CELL
RIGHT THERE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
I'M SAVIN' THE OTHER CELL
FOR THE REST OF THE GANG.
YOU REALLY STOLE IT?
BARNEY, MAYBE YOU
BETTER DRIVE HIM HOME.
YEAH.
I'LL TELL AUNT BEE
ABOUT THE POCKETBOOK.
( door closing )
GETTIN' CAUGHT LIKE
THAT'S PRETTY CARELESS
FOR A MAN THAT
LIVES BY HIS WITS.
SHERIFF, YOU'VE GOT
YOUR EVIDENCE,
YOU'VE GOT YOUR MAN --
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
WELL, THERE MAY BE
ONE OTHER THING
THAT MIGHT BE WORTH MENTIONING.
I HAPPEN TO KNOW
THAT THIS IS A POCKETBOOK
THAT MY AUNT BEE
THREW OUT IN THE TRASH.
( train whistle blowing )
WELL, THAT'LL BE THE
3:45 STOPPIN' FOR WATER.
NO LAW I KNOW OF AGAINST
TRASH COLLECTIN'.
MR. DAVE, I'D SAY YOU
GOT A TRAIN TO CATCH.
SUIT YOURSELF.
OH, I...
I, UH...
SURE DO APPRECIATE --
SHERIFF, LIKE YOU SAY,
I GOT A TRAIN TO CATCH.
YOU DON'T WANT YOUR DEPUTY
TO PICK ME UP
FOR LOITERIN', DO YOU?
YEAH.
( door closes )
HI, BARN!
HUH, SEE OLD DAVE BROWNE GOT TO
YOU WITH THE MAGIC, TOO?
YOU'RE TRYING IT NOW, EH?
YEAH, WELL, YOU DON'T LEARN THIS
STUFF OVERNIGHT, YOU KNOW.
I MEAN, THIS TAKES SOMETIMES
YEARS OF PRACTICE
TO GET YOUR HANDS TO MANIPULATE
JUST RIGHT.
IT DOES?
YEAH -- LISTEN TO THIS...
"NIMBLENESS, AGILITY
AND DEXTERITY
ARE THE KEY WORDS
TO HAND MAGIC.
AND THESE CAN BE YOURS
IF YOU ARE WILLING
TO DEVOTE
THE PATIENCE AND CONSTANT
PRACTICE NECESSARY."
WATCH THIS.
OKAY, SEE,
NOTHING UP THE SLEEVES.
ALL RIGHT, WATCH -- READY?
YOU WATCHING?
YEAH, I'M WATCHING.
OKAY, HERE SHE GOES,
DISAPPEAR!
IT TAKES A WHILE.
YEAH, THAT WAS GOOD, THOUGH,
IF YOU HADN'T HAD DROPPED IT.
PAW, WANT TO
SEE SOMETHING?
SOMETHING I LEARNED
FROM MR. BROWNE!
WATCH THIS, BARNEY!
HEY, THAT'S GOOD!
YEAH, WELL, I GOT TO BE
GOING OUT ON PATROL.
BARNEY, YOU DO
THAT TRICK, DON'T YOU?
YEAH, BUT I GOT TO
GET GOING NOW --
WELL, LET'S SEE YOU DO IT.
NO, NOT NOW.
OH, COME ON -- WHY NOT?
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO STAND AROUND AND PLAY
LITTLE KID GAMES,
THAT'S WHY NOT!