The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 1, Episode 8 - Opie's Charity - full transcript

Andy is upset when he finds out that Opie gave only three cents to a charity drive and starts to teach the boy about sharing with others less fortunate. When he finds out the reason Opie can't contribute more is because he is saving up to buy his girlfriend Charlotte something, Andy thinks he's going to squander it on toys and calls him a playboy. Aunt Bee scolds Andy for not having more faith in his son and he must eat crow when Opie tells him he is going to buy Charlotte a new coat for next winter because her mother cannot afford to.

STRIKE!

BOY, YOU REALLY DO BURN 'EM!

DID IT REALLY STING YOU?

BOY, YOU BETTER KNOW
IT DID, CANNONBALL.

I RECKON I BETTER
EASE UP A MITE.

NAH, I'LL JUST HAVE TO LEARN
TO LIVE WITH IT

TILL MY HAND TOUGHENS UP.

TOO BAD WE AIN'T GOT
A BATTER, THOUGH

SO YOU COULD GET THE FEELING
OF PITCHING TO SOMEBODY.

GOOD MORNING, ANDY.

WELL, ANNABELLE SILBY,
HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU?



OPIE, TAKE OFF YOUR HAT
AND SAY HOW DO TO MISS SILBY.

HOW DO, MISS SILBY?

HELLO, OPIE.

ANDY, ONCE AGAIN,
THE WOMEN OF MAYBERRY

HAVE ELECTED ME CHAIRMAN

OF THE UNDERPRIVILEGED
CHILDREN'S CHARITY DRIVE.

AND YOU
WANT ME TO SERVE

ON THE FUND SOLICITING
COMMITTEE, DO YOU?

WELL, YES!

THIS YEAR ESPECIALLY,
THE NEED IS SO GREAT, ANDY.

NOW, WE HAVE
DIVIDED MAYBERRY...

EXCUSE ME.
WOULD YOU MIND STEPPING...?

...AND I THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT TAKE THE AREA

THAT GOES FROM GROVER'S PLACE
OVER TO BANNER STREET



THEN AROUND
CORNWELL'S GAS STATION

UP TO TATE WARREN'S
STORE.

STRIKE!

BOY, YOU CAUGHT HER
FLAT-FOOTED, OPIE.

WHAT?!

NO USE ARGUING
ABOUT THAT ONE.

IT WAS WAIST HIGH
OVER THE OUTSIDE CORNER.

ANDY TAYLOR, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

[ LAUGHS ]
I'M SORRY, ANNABELLE.

I WAS JUST TRYING
TO GIVE OPIE

THE FEELING OF PITCHING
TO A BATTER.

YOU GOT A REAL NICE STANCE
THERE, TOO.

REALLY?
YES, SIR.

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN
A POWER HITTER.

OH. [ LAUGHS ]

SEE IF YOU CAN FIND YOURSELF
ANOTHER CATCHER, OPIE.

OKAY, PA.

COME ON IN AND SIT DOWN,
ANNABELLE.

ANNABELLE, I DECLARE
YOU SURE DO KEEP YOURSELF BUSY.

THERE AIN'T BEEN
A SINGLE TIME OF NEED

THAT YOU
AND YOUR LADIES CLUB

AIN'T BEEN RIGHT THERE.

WELL, THANK YOU, ANDY.

IT'S THE TRUTH.
SIT DOWN HERE AND REST YOURSELF.

WANT SOME COFFEE?
OH, PLEASE.

I NEVER WILL FORGET
THAT FINE CANTEEN

THAT YOU AND THE CLUB
GOT UP FOR THE BOYS

WHEN THEY WAS COMING BACK
FROM THE WAR.

GIVING UP YOUR TIME
TO DANCE WITH THEM.

EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT.

'COURSE I ALWAYS DID FIGURE

THE BOYS
HAD BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.

IT WAS A FINE CANTEEN.
FINE.

BUT YOU ALWAYS WAS ONE
FOR DOING THINGS RIGHT.

WELL, I'M A
PROUD WOMAN, ANDY.

CAN'T HELP IT.
I WAS REARED THAT WAY.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

IT GETS HARDER,
THOUGH, KEEPING UP,

ESPECIALLY THE
PAST TWO YEARS

SINCE MY POOR TOM,
REST HIS SOUL...

PASSED ON.

I KNOW YOU MUST MISS HIM.

YES, I DO, ANDY.

'COURSE I GUESS
I DID PICK AT HIM

MORE THAN WAS RIGHT.

NOW, NOW, DON'T, DON'T GO
BLAMING YOURSELF TOO MUCH.

AFTER ALL, IT AIN'T EASY
BEING MARRIED TO A...

DRINKING MAN.

ANDY TAYLOR, MY TOM
WAS NOT A DRINKING MAN.

HE WASN'T?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.

WELL, IT'S TOO BAD
TOM DIDN'T KNOW THAT,

'CAUSE HE SURE DID WASTE HISSELF
ON SOME AWFUL HANGOVERS.

WELL...HE MAY HAVE HAD
A LITTLE TONIC NOW AND THEN.

FOR HIS BLOOD,
YOU UNDERSTAND.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
I NEVER SAW A MAN TAKE TONIC

WITH A BEER CHASER.

[ LAUGHS ]

ANNABELLE, I DECLARE,
YOU'RE A SIGHT IN THIS WORLD.

YOU GOT TOO MUCH PRIDE TO
HAVE A HUSBAND WHO DRINKS,

SO HE DIDN'T EVEN
THOUGH HE DID.

WELL, NOW AND THEN,
ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS

HE MIGHT HAVE...

OH, ANDY...

I WAS SO FOOLISH
ABOUT MY POOR TOM.

I JUST CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW SORRY I AM

THAT I EVER LET HIM GO

ON THAT BUSINESS TRIP
TO CHARLOTTESVILLE WITHOUT ME.

YEAH, I KNOW.

BEING RUN OVER BY A TAXICAB

AIN'T THE MOST FITTING WAY
FOR A MAN TO GO.

BUT I'LL SAY ONE THING --

YOU SURE GIVE HIM
SOME FINE FUNERAL.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL,
WASN'T IT?

THE FINEST
THIS TOWN'S EVER SEEN.

IT WAS THE LEAST
I COULD DO.

YES, SIR.

FOLKS STILL SAY --

THEY SAY, "THAT
ANNABELLE SILBY,

SHE SURE PUTS OUT
SOME FINE FUNERAL."

BUT YOU ALWAYS WAS ONE
FOR DOING THINGS PROPER.

THAT'S THE WAY I
LIKE TO DO THINGS.

WELL, THEN I CAN
COUNT ON YOU

TO, UH, SERVE ON
THE FUND COMMITTEE?

OH, WHY, CERTAINLY.
CERTAINLY.

GOOD. WE NEED EVERYONE'S
COOPERATION.

EVEN THE SCHOOLCHILDREN

ARE TRYING TO OUTDO
EACH OTHER RAISING FUNDS.

IS THAT RIGHT?

YES, DONATING
THEIR SPENDING MONEY, SAVINGS.

YEAH, I RECKON OPIE'S
RIGHT UP THERE

WITH THE TOP DONATORS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, NO.

NO?

SOME OF THE CHILDREN
HAVE BEEN MOST GENEROUS

GIVING AS MUCH AS A DOLLAR
AND TWO.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT OPIE?

THREE CENTS.

THREE CENTS?

YES.

THE NEXT LOWEST WAS FIVE CENTS,
GIVEN BY ROY PRUITT.

WELL, HE MUST BE KIND OF TIGHT,
LIKE OPIE.

NOT EXACTLY.

HE'S ONE OF
THE UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN.

WELL, HOW DO YOU
LIKE THAT BOY?

HI, PA.

WELL, I'LL BE
RUNNING ALONG NOW.

BYE, ANDY.

BYE, OPIE.

BYE.
BYE.

WELL, IF IT AIN'T
CHARLIE MONEYBAGS

THE BIG PHILANTHROPIST.

HOW DO YOU DO?

WHAT YOU TALKING
ABOUT, PA?

I'M TALKING ABOUT

THE UNDERPRIVILEGED
CHILDREN'S DRIVE.

OH. THEY COLLECTED FOR THAT
AT SCHOOL, PA.

OH, I KNOW THEY DID.
OH, I KNOW THEY DID.

AND WHEN THEY
CALLED YOUR NAME,

YOU GAVE THE LARGE,
GENEROUS AMOUNT OF THREE CENTS.

MY, THAT IS BIG
OF YOU, DIAMOND JIM.

DID I GIVE THEM TOO MUCH,
PA?

TOO MUCH?

I COULD ASK THEM
TO GIVE BACK TWO CENTS.

NOW, LOOKY HERE.

WE BETTER TALK
ABOUT THIS THING.

NOW, NOW, NOW,
LOOK HERE, OPIE

YOU CAN'T GIVE A LITTLE
BITTY PIDDLING AMOUNT

LIKE THREE CENTS
TO A WORTHY CAUSE

LIKE THE UNDERPRIVILEGED
CHILDREN'S DRIVE.

WHY, I WAS READING HERE
JUST THE OTHER DAY

WHERE THERE'S SOMEWHERE
LIKE 400 NEEDY BOYS

IN THIS COUNTY ALONE

OR ONE AND A HALF
BOYS PER SQUARE MILE.

THERE IS?

THERE SURE IS.

I NEVER SEEN ONE, PA.

NEVER SEEN ONE WHAT?

A HALF A BOY.

WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY
A HALF A BOY.

IT'S A RATIO.

HORATIO WHO?

NOT HORATIO-- A RATIO.

IT'S MATHEMATICS.

ARITHMETIC.

LOOK, NOW, OPIE,
JUST FORGET THAT PART OF IT.

FORGET THE PART
ABOUT THE HALF A BOY.

IT'S PRETTY HARD TO FORGET
A THING LIKE THAT, PA.

WELL, TRY!

POOR HORATIO.

NOW, LOOK, OPIE, HORATIO
IS NOT THE ONLY NEEDY BOY...

SON, UH, DIDN'T YOU...

DIDN'T YOU EVER GIVE
ANYBODY ANYTHING

JUST FOR THE
PLEASURE OF IT?

SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T WANT
ANYTHING IN RETURN FOR?

SURE. JUST YESTERDAY, I GAVE
MY FRIEND JIMMY SOMETHING.

NOW, THAT'S FINE.

WHAT DID YOU GIVE HIM?

A SOCK IN THE HEAD.

I--I MEANT CHARITY.

I DIDN'T CHARGE HIM
NOTHING.

I MEANT SOMETHING
FOR THE JOY OF GIVING.

I ENJOYED IT.

I DON'T LIKE JIMMY
NO MORE.

HE MAKES FUN OF CHARLOTTE.

WHO'S CHARLOTTE?

MY GIRLFRIEND.

OH.

WELL, I JUST DON'T SEE

HOW ANYBODY
WHO HAS GOT AS MUCH AS YOU

COULD CARE SO LITTLE
ABOUT OTHERS.

I CARE ABOUT OTHERS,
HONEST.

NOT WHEN YOU GIVE

A PIDDLING AMOUNT
LIKE THREE CENTS.

THAT'S BEING SELFISH.

YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN AT LEAST
A HALF A DOLLAR OR A DOLLAR.

A DOLLAR?

GOSH, PA, I ONLY HAVE $2.20
IN MY WHOLE PIGGY BANK

AND I'M SAVING IT
TO BUY CHARLOTTE SOMETHING.

WELL, NOW, THAT'S DANDY.

THAT IS JUST DANDY.

WHOLE DOLLARS YOU'LL SQUANDER
ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND, CHARLOTTE,

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE
UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN'S FUND

YOU'VE GOT ONLY THREE CENTS.

I WASN'T GOING
TO SQUANDER IT, PA.

I WASN'T GOING TO
SQUANDER IT.

YEAH.

WHAT'S SQUANDER?

THROWING YOUR MONEY AWAY
FOOLISHLY.

OH, BUT, PA,
I WOULDN'T BE THROWING IT AWAY.

ALL I CAN SAY IS
IF YOUR HEAD CAN BE TURNED

BY A PRETTY FACE AT YOUR AGE

HEAVEN HELP YOU
WHEN YOU'RE GROWN UP.

OH, HI, AUNT BEE.

HI, ANDY.

I THOUGHT I'D FIND OPIE HERE.

MAYBE YOU'LL HELP ME
CARRY HOME SOME PACKAGES

FROM THE STORE, HMM?

SURE, AUNT BEE.

ME AND OPIE WAS JUST
HAVING A LITTLE TALK

ON THE MEANING
OF CHARITY.

CHARITY?

YEAH, I WAS
EXPLAINING TO OPIE

THAT THERE'S TWO KINDS
OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

THERE'S GIVERS
AND THERE'S TAKERS.

AND OPIE,
HE'S SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.

HE'S A SQUEEZER.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
THIS YOUNG'UN GAVE

TO THE UNDERPRIVILEGED
CHILDREN'S FUND?

THREE CENTS.

THREE MISERABLE,
MEASLY PENNIES.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT
TO MAKE THAT FOUR CENTS?

IT'S TAX DEDUCTIBLE,
YOU KNOW.

IS THAT TRUE, OPIE?

WITH ALL THE MONEY

YOU HAVE SAVED UP
IN YOUR PIGGY BANK?

BUT I'M SAVING
THAT MONEY.

HE'S SAVING IT TO BUY HIS
GIRLFRIEND CHARLOTTE SOMETHING.

WELL, IT'S DOWNRIGHT
EMBARRASSING FOR ME.

I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

HERE I AM,
THE SHERIFF OF THE TOWN,

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE,
RESPECTABLE MEMBER

OF THE CHILDREN'S
FUNDRAISING COMMITTEE

AND I'M RAISING A PLAYBOY.

PA, I'M NOT A PLAYBOY.

YOU GET ALONG
WITH YOUR AUNT BEE.

I'D TALK FURTHER BUT I GOT
PAPERWORK THAT HAS TO BE DONE.

BYE, ANDY.
BYE.

BYE, PA.

AND WE'LL FINISH THIS
TALK LATER ON, TOO.

HELLO THERE, ANDY.

HOW DO?

IT--IT'S ME, TOM.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

WELL, TOM SILBY!

OF COURSE I REMEMBER!

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED!

I AIN'T SEEN YOU AROUND
THESE PARTS SINCE...

SINCE YOUR FUNERAL.

FUNERAL?

WHAT FUNERAL?

WELL, UH, TOM, MAYBE
WE BETTER COME INSIDE

WHERE WE CAN TALK.

ANDY, WHAT'S AILING YOU?

WELL, IT JUST CAN'T BE,
THAT'S ALL.

WHAT CAN'T BE?

WELL, YOU CAN'T BE, TOM.

YOU'RE GONE.

I WAS GONE, BUT I COME BACK.

BUT YOU CAN'T
COME BACK.

NOT AFTER YOU'RE GONE.

IT JUST AIN'T DECENT.

WHAT THE DEVIL
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHY CAN'T I COME BACK
AFTER I'VE GONE?

YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY.

WELL, MAYBE I AM.

WELL, THEN--THEN,
YOU--YOU DO THE TALKING.

WELL, YOU OUGHT TO HAVE FIGURED
WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU KNOW HOW ANNABELLE IS.

FINALLY I COULDN'T STAND IT
NO MORE

AND HAD A BIG FIGHT

TOLD HER I WAS LEAVING
AND NEVER COMING BACK.

BUT AFTER
A COUPLE OF YEARS,

WELL, I... I GOT KIND
OF LONESOME FOR HER.

I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU COULD TELL ME

HOW SHE'S GETTING ON.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

I'LL BE DOGGED!

I'LL JUST BE FLAT DOGGED.

DON'T THAT BEAT
ANYTHING YOU EVER HEARD OF?

ANDY, WILL YOU TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT'S THE JOKE?

IT'S THAT ANNABELLE.

IT'S JUST LIKE HER

NOT TO BE ABLE TO ADMIT
TO ANYBODY IN TOWN

THAT SHE COULDN'T HOLD
ON TO A HUSBAND.

ONLY SHE COULD BE SO PROUD
TO DO WHAT SHE DONE.

WHAT'S SHE DONE?

SHE TOLD EVERYBODY
THAT YOU WENT DOWN

TO CHARLOTTESVILLE
AND GOT RUN OVER.

RUN OVER?
BY A TAXICAB.

AND SHE HAD THIS NICE
MAHOGANY BOX SENT BACK

AND HAD YOU BURIED
LIKE YOU WAS IN IT.

WHAT?!
WELL, YES.

FAR AS THE TOWN'S CONCERNED,
YOU'RE AS DEAD AS A HAMMER.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

I KNOW SHE'S PROUD,
ALL RIGHT,

BUT BURYING ME
WHEN I'M STILL ALIVE--

I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT.

ALL I DID WAS GO DOWN
TO CHARLOTTESVILLE.

WELL, TOM, WE ALL FIGURED

YOU WAS A LOT FURTHER
DOWN THAN THAT.

COME ON.

WELL, WHERE TO?

I'LL SHOW YOU.

OH, WAIT.

"A FINE MAN AND A DEAR HUSBAND."
THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, ANDY.

WAS IT A NICE FUNERAL
ANNABELLE GAVE ME?

BEST.

MUCH OF A TURNOUT?

TURNOUT?

SHOO. MORE FOLKS TURNED
OUT TO SEE YOU GO

THAN THEY DID THAT TIME

THAT CARNIVAL FELLA COME THROUGH
HERE WITH THAT STUFFED WHALE.

YOU'RE FOOLING.
NO, I'M NOT NEITHER.

EVERYBODY WAS HERE.

RIGHT OVER THERE
STOOD MAYOR JENKINS

WEARING THEM STRIPED
BRITCHES, YOU KNOW.

[ Chuckling ]
YEAH.

AND ON BOTH SIDES OF HIM
STOOD ALL THE ALDERMEN.

ALL THE ALDERMEN?

EVERY ONE OF THEM.

INCLUDING SAM PEABODY?
YES, SIR.

ANNABELLE KNOWS
I CAN'T STAND SAM PEABODY.

WHY'D SHE GO AND INVITE HIM
TO MY FUNERAL?

I DON'T KNOW THAT
SHE INVITED...

HE HAD A LOT OF NERVE
CRASHING MY FUNERAL.

NOW, TOM, YOU'RE
JUST BEING SILLY.

ANNABELLE BREAKS HER BACK

TO GIVE YOU THE FINEST
SEND-OFF THIS TOWN HAS SEEN

AND YOU GO POUTING
OVER DETAILS.

SHE COULDN'T EXACTLY
CHECK THE GUEST LIST

WITH YOU, YOU KNOW.

THAT'S TRUE.

AND EVERYBODY WAS THERE?

EVERYBODY.

RIGHT OVER THERE.

RIGHT OVER THERE STOOD
YOUR LODGE BROTHERS.

RIGHT THERE.
YES. ALL IN A GROUP, YOU KNOW.

AND THEN JUST BEFORE
THEY LOWERED YOU,

WHY, THEY SUNG
THE LODGE SONG.

OH, THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL SONG,
ANDY.

* WE'RE BROTHERS
TOGETH-- *

OH, BUT I USED TO SING
SECOND TENOR WITH THEM.

THEY AIN'T GOT NO DECENT
SECOND TENOR OUTSIDE OF ME.

THEY COULDN'T HAVE BEEN
MUCH GOOD WITHOUT ME.

NOW, THERE YOU GO
ARGUING AGAIN, TOM.

NOW, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

YOU CAN'T SING SECOND TENOR AND
GET LOWERED AT THE SAME TIME.

IT JUST CAN'T BE DONE.

YEAH.

I'M SORRY.

I GUESS A FELLA
JUST LIKES TO KNOW

THAT EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT
AT HIS FUNERAL.

AFTER ALL,
IT'S HIS LAST PARTY.

WELL, IT WAS PERFECT.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

I EVEN GOT TO BELIEVING YOU
WAS A GREAT MAN MYSELF, TOM,

EVEN THOUGH I NEVER DID SEE
YOUR EQUAL AT ELBOW-BENDING.

I DON'T DRINK NO MORE,
ANDY.
YOU DON'T?

WITHOUT ANNABELLE
TO ANSWER TO,

I FOUND I DIDN'T NEED
TO DRINK.

HOW COME YOU COME
BACK HERE THEN?

WELL...

AW, YOU KIND OF MISS HER
A LITTLE BIT, DON'T YOU?

I RECKON I DO.

IF ONLY SHE WASN'T SO...
SO PROUD.

COME ON BACK TO THE
HOUSE WITH ME, TOM.

OH, ANDY.

HMM?

TELL THE CARETAKER
MY PLOT NEEDS WATERING.

Opie: PA?

OH, HI, OPE.

CAN I HAVE SOME MONEY
FOR A SODA?

[ Laughing ]
YEAH, I RECKON.

WELL, NO,
I RECKON YOU CAN'T,

ASKING ME FOR MONEY
WHEN YOU GOT A PIGGY BANK

THAT'S BULGING LIKE ONE
OF JONAS CONWAY'S PRIZE PIGS.

BUT I'M SAVING
THAT MONEY.

I AIN'T FORGOT ABOUT THAT,
AND I AIN'T FORGOT

THAT ME AND YOU WAS IN
THE MIDDLE OF A TALK EITHER.

I'LL SEE YOU
IN A LITTLE BIT.

COME ON, TOM.

COME ON IN, TOM.

COME RIGHT OVER HERE
AND SIT DOWN.

ANDY, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO?

I'M GOING TO CALL ANNABELLE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

OH, NO. NOW, ANDY,
WAIT A MINUTE.

WELL, TOM, I BELIEVE SHE'S READY
FOR YOU TO COME HOME.

WELL, WHAT MAKES
YOU THINK SO?

WELL, I SAW ANNABELLE
NOT MORE THAN AN HOUR AGO

AND I DON'T THINK

THAT SHE'S NEAR
AS SURE OF HERSELF

AS SHE WAS
WHEN YOU WAS ALIVE.

OH, NO, ANDY, I...
I CAN'T.

I CAN'T DO IT.

WELL, WHY NOT?

WELL, UH...
SHE BURIED ME.

SHE'S CONSIDERED A PROPER
GRIEVING WIDOW

AND I AIN'T GOING
TO SPOIL IT FOR HER.

I AIN'T GOING TO HAVE
PEOPLE LAUGHING AT HER.

NO, I AIN'T,
AND THAT'S FINAL.

I'M GOING.

YOU'RE BEING A STUBBORN MULE
ABOUT THIS THING.

ARE YOU GOING TO TRY AND
TELL ME ABOUT MY OWN WOMAN?

THINGS IS DIFFERENT NOW.
I JUST GOT A FEELING.

YOU'VE GOT A FEELING,
BUT YOU'RE NOT SURE.

THERE AIN'T BUT ONE WAY
TO FIND OUT.

NO, I...I DON'T REALLY
WANT TO DO THIS.

UH, SARAH, UH,
GET ME ANNABELLE SILBY

ON THE PHONE, WOULD YOU?

ANDY, LOOK...

NOW, YOU BETTER HUSH.

I'LL ARREST YOU FOR BEING
A DISORDERLY CORPSE.

UH, ANNABELLE?

ANDY TAYLOR OVER HERE.

UH, ARE--ARE--ARE YOU
SITTING DOWN OR STANDING UP?

WELL, MAYBE
YOU BETTER SIT DOWN.

WELL, ALL RIGHT.
SUIT YOURSELF.

UH, ANNABELLE,
LISTEN TO THIS.

TOM'S BACK.

TOM SILBY IS STANDING
RIGHT HERE BESIDE OF ME.

[ Chuckling ]
YEAH.

HELLO?

HELLO?!

I BELIEVE
SHE JUST SAT DOWN.

TOM, I RECKON
YOU BETTER GO ON HOME NOW.

W-WHAT'LL I SAY
TO HER, ANDY?

WELL, WHAT WOULD ANY HUSBAND
SAY TO HIS WIDOW?

THANK HER FOR THE NICE FUNERAL
SHE GAVE YOU

FOR THE KIND WORDS
ON YOUR HEADSTONE.

WHY, YOU'VE GOT A LOT
TO TALK ABOUT.

LOOK ALIVE, NOW.

THAT'S ALL THAT EVER WAS THE
MATTER WITH ANNABELLE SILBY --

JUST TOO MUCH PRIDE,

FEARFUL OF WHAT FOLKS
MIGHT THINK.

GOOD THING THAT CARETAKER
DIDN'T SEE TOM

WALK OUT
OF THAT CEMETERY.

I RECKON HE WOULD
HAVE GONE HOME

AND BUSTED EVERY BOTTLE
OF WHISKEY HE OWNED.

OH, NO, OPIE.
YOU DON'T WANT THAT BANANA.

IT'S TOO NEAR
SUPPERTIME.

OKAY, AUNT BEE.

THAT REMINDS ME,
YOUNG MAN.

WE WAS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF A LITTLE TALK.

LAST I REMEMBER,
I WAS ASKING YOU

TO DIP DOWN
INTO YOUR PIGGY BANK

AND PITCH AT LEAST A DOLLAR
INTO THE CHILDREN'S FUND.

BUT I CAN'T, PA.

I GOT TO SPEND IT ON...

I KNOW. YOU GOT TO SPEND IT
ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHARLOTTE.

SON, I CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE YOU
UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS

TO SHARE WHAT YOU'VE GOT
WITH FOLKS

THAT AIN'T AS LUCKY
AS YOU ARE.

IT JUST AIN'T NICE
TO BE SELFISH.

YOU--YOU--YOU SEE THAT
APPLE RIGHT THERE?

YES, PA.

NOW, THAT'S THE ONLY
ONE IN THE BOWL.

AIN'T THAT RIGHT?

NOW, SUPPOSE ME AND YOU
BOTH WANTED THAT APPLE

AND I GRABBED IT

AND WOULDN'T GIVE YOU
HALF OF IT.

NOW, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

I WOULDN'T MIND.

YOU WOULDN'T?

THERE'S A WORM IN IT.

OPIE, THAT'S BESIDE
THE POINT.

I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU
AN EXAMPLE OF SHARING.

NOW, I'D TAKE HALF
AND I'D GIVE YOU HALF.

NOW, THAT'S SHARING.

AND IT'S FAIR
TO EVERYBODY CONCERNED.

NO, IT AIN'T, PA.

IT AIN'T?

NO. YOU DIDN'T LEAVE
NOTHING FOR THE WORM.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARRY
THE THING THAT FAR.

YOU DON'T SHARE THINGS
WITH WORMS.

WHY NOT?

WELL, BECAUSE THEY
AIN'T LIKE PEOPLE.

THEY DON'T WORK OR WEAR CLOTHES
OR GO TO SCHOOL OR ANYTHING.

ALL THEY DO IS LAY AROUND ALL
DAY INSIDE OF APPLES AND EAT.

THAT'S ALL THEY DO?

THAT'S ALL.

BOY, AND I WAS FEELING SORRY
FOR 'EM.

I GOT A FEELING WE'RE
KIND OF DRIFTING HERE.

SON, I JUST CAN'T SEEM
TO GET THROUGH TO YOU

HOW IMPORTANT IT IS

THAT YOU GIVE MORE THAN
THREE MEASLY PENNIES

TO AN IMPORTANT CHARITY.

BUT I CAN'T, PA.

THAT'S WHAT
YOU'VE BEEN SAYING,

AND THAT AIN'T
GOOD ENOUGH.

NOW, ARE YOU GOING
TO DIP DOWN AND DO BETTER?

PA, I CAN'T.

THEN JUST MARCH RIGHT
ON UP TO YOUR ROOM

RIGHT UP THERE--
RIGHT UP TO YOUR ROOM.

DON'T BOTHER COMING DOWN
FOR NO SUPPER NEITHER,

NOT AT LEAST UNTIL
YOU'RE READY TO GIVE

MORE THAN THREE CENTS.

YOU CAN JUST SIT DOWN UP THERE
AND STUDY ABOUT THAT THING.

THERE'S NO EXCUSE
FOR THAT KIND OF STINGINESS.

IT'S JUST DOWNRIGHT SELFISH
IS WHAT IT IS.

EVEN YOUNG'UNS OUGHT TO KNOW
BETTER THAN THAT.

ESPECIALLY THIS YOUNG'UN.

SON OF THE SHERIFF
AND HE GIVES THE LEAST AMOUNT.

THAT BOY IS GOING TO MAKE ME
THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF MAYBERRY...

ANDY TAYLOR, WILL YOU JUST STOP
AND LISTEN TO YOURSELF?

YOU'VE BEEN TALKING, BUT YOU
HAVEN'T BEEN LISTENING.

ANNABELLE.

ANNABELLE?
ANNABELLE SILBY.

SHE WAS ALWAYS AFRAID
OF WHAT FOLKS MIGHT THINK.

AND HERE YOU ARE
CARRYING ON THE SAME WAY.

ANNABELLE SILBY DIDN'T HAVE
ANY FAITH IN HER TOM.

IT APPEARS YOU DON'T HAVE FAITH
IN YOUR OWN LITTLE BOY?

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT A GOOD
LITTLE FELLA HE IS.

JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T
GIVE ENOUGH TO A COLLECTION

YOU'RE READY TO FORGET
ALL THAT?

JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID
OF WHAT FOLKS MIGHT THINK?

YOU DIDN'T LEARN MUCH
FROM THE SILBYS, DID YOU?

WELL, I JUST THOUGHT
THAT...

I WAS... I WAS TR...

DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME
TRYING TO...?

YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
AUNT BEE?

NO, NOT YET, I DON'T.

YOU'RE AS RIGHT AS RAIN.

I JUST HADN'T THOUGHT
OF IT THAT WAY.

IT'S TRUE.

I KNOW MY OWN LITTLE BOY,
AND HE'S A FINE LITTLE FELLA.

AND IF HE DECIDES
TO HOLD BACK ONCE IN A MOON,

WHY, AIN'T NO HARM DONE.

GOOD.

NOW, CALL HIM DOWN
FOR SUPPER.

YEAH.
I GUESS I BETTER.

UH...

WELL, YOU'LL HAVE
TO CALL LOUDER THAN THAT.

YEAH.

UH...

UH...OPIE,
YOU CAN COME ON DOWN!

WE'LL JUST FORGET ABOUT
WHAT WE WAS TALKING ABOUT

AND WE'LL HAVE OUR SUPPER!

YOU LIKE ME AGAIN, PA?

SON, I NEVER STOPPED
LIKING YOU.

YOU KNOW THAT.

AND WE'RE GOING
TO FORGET ABOUT

RAISING YOUR DONATION
AT SCHOOL

AND ABOUT BREAKING
INTO YOUR PIGGY BANK...

I'D LIKE TO, PA,
BUT LIKE I SAID...

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU'RE SAVING TO BUY

YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND
CHARLOTTE A TOY--

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

NO, PA.

OR IF YOU WANT TO TAKE
HER TO THE MOVIES

AND BUY HER TWO DOLLARS
WORTH OF POPCORN,

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING TO BUY HER
A COAT.

AFTER ALL,
IT'S YOUR SAVINGS.

AND WHATEVER YOU...

YOU'RE GOING TO BUY HER
A WHAT?

A COAT.

THE ONE SHE'S GOT'S
KIND OF WORE OUT.

IT IS, HUH?

MM-HMM.

WHEN I ASKED HER HOW COME
SHE DIDN'T GET A NEW ONE,

SHE SAID 'CAUSE HER MA
DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.

AND YOU WERE SAVING
TO BUY HER A COAT

FOR NEXT WINTER?

MM-HMM.
BY THEN I'LL HAVE ENOUGH.

WELL, OPIE,
YOU NEVER TOLD ME

THAT'S WHAT
THE MONEY WAS FOR.

YOU NEVER ASKED ME.

NO, I GUESS I DIDN'T,
DID I?

WHAT ARE WE HAVING
FOR SUPPER?

WELL, YOU AND AUNT BEE'S
HAVING FRIED CHICKEN.

AND I'M HAVING CROW.

TOM, HOW DOES IT FEEL
BEING BACK?

JUST FINE, ANDY.

GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, THIS MORNING,
ANNABELLE AND ME,

WE WENT AND TOOK A WALK OVER TO
THE CEMETERY WHERE I'M BURIED.

YOU DID?

YOU SOUND LIKE
YOU'RE BEGINNING TO BELIEVE

YOU REALLY ARE BURIED
OVER THERE.

WELL, THAT'S THE WHOLE IDEA,
ANDY.

YOU SEE,
THE HENPECKED TOM SILBY,

THE ONE WHO DRANK TOO MUCH --
HE IS BURIED OVER THERE.

OH, I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.

'COURSE I NEVER DID
REALLY BELIEVE

YOU WAS BURIED OVER THERE.

YOU MEAN YOU KNEW
ALL ALONG?

NO, NOT EXACTLY.

JUST WITH ALL THE ALCOHOL
YOU HAD IN YOUR SYSTEM,

IT SEEMED MIGHTY PECULIAR

THAT THE GRASS OVER YOU
WAS GROWING SO WELL.

[ WHISTLING SPRIGHTLY TUNE ]