The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 1, Episode 4 - Ellie Comes to Town - full transcript

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING ELINOR DONAHUE
AND DON KNOTTS.

BARNEY, YOU WAIT ON
OUT HERE IF YOU WILL,

AND AS SOON AS AUNT BEE
GETS EVERYTHING SHE WANTS,

YOU CAN TAKE HER ON HOME,
ALL RIGHT?

WON'T BE LONG, BARNEY.

NICE MORNING, AIN'T IT?

I DON'T BELIEVE
IT'S GOING TO RAIN.

OH! IT'S CLOSED.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THAT?



HERE IT IS AFTER 9:00
AND FRED AIN'T OPEN YET.

HE MUST BE HAVING
ANOTHER SPELL OF SICKNESS.

TSK. WELL.

COME ON IN,
AUNT BEE.

NOW, WHAT DID I DO
WITH MY LIST?

AH. HERE IT IS.

WELL, GOOD MORNING,
MADAM.

I DIDN'T SEE YOU
COME IN.

YOU'RE THE FIRST CUSTOMER
WE HAD THIS MORNING.

IS THERE SOMETHING PARTICULAR
I CAN DO FOR YOU?

YES, YOU CAN GET ME
SOME TOILET WATER.

YOU FIGURING ON GOING OFF
ON A DATE?

WE GOT ALL MANNER OF GOODIES
OVER HERE. LET'S SEE.

I WISH YOU WOULD LOOK
AT THAT PRETTY BOTTLE.



MM!
AIN'T THAT PRETTY.

"PARFOOM NASH DAYS FLORIES
AINT RUE-JAY.

MADE IN PARIS, FRANCE."

I WAS OVER THERE ONE TIME
DURING THE WAR.

IT'S A REAL NICE-SMELLING
COUNTRY.

IT'LL SUIT YOU.

[ SNIFFS ] MM!

IT DO SMELL GOOD.

MM-HMM!

LET'S SEE, WE COULD USE
SOMETHING FOR OPIE'S SNIFFLES.

OFFICER!

QUICK! BURGLARS!

WHAT?!

WHERE?

QUICKLY!
IN THE DRUGSTORE!

ALL RIGHT.

PLEASE HURRY.

[ GRUNTS ]

I...
SORRY.

CAN'T YOU USE
THE PASSENGER SIDE?

CAN'T NOW, MA'AM.

[ GRUNTS ]

OVER THERE.

OH.
ALL RIGHT, MISTER.

I GOT YOU RED-HANDED, NOW.
JUST STICK 'EM UP.

ANDY! IT'S YOU!

WELL, OF COURSE IT IS.

WHO'D YOU THINK IT WAS,
BILLY THE KID?

BARNEY,
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!

WELL, SHE SAID THAT...

WELL... MA'AM, MA'AM,
THIS AIN'T NO BURGLAR.

THIS IS SHERIFF TAYLOR.

AND THIS IS AUNT BEE.

YOU ALMOST HAD ME SHOOT MY OWN
SHERIFF, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

THEN WHAT ARE THEY DOING
IN THIS STORE BEFORE IT'S OPEN?

OH, WELL, FRED WAS A LITTLE LATE
THIS MORNING

AND THE KEY'S
UP OVER THE DOOR

AND I JUST...

I DON'T BELIEVE
I KNOW YOU.

I'M ELLIE WALKER,
BUT I STILL DON'T SEE...

OH! FRED'S NIECE.

HOW-DE-DO.

HE TOLD US ABOUT
YOUR COMING TO HELP OUT.

OH, AND IT'S NICE
OF YOU, TOO,

WITH FRED AILIN'
AND EVERYTHING.

BARNEY, YOU HEARD ABOUT THE NEW
LADY DRUGGIST COMING.

WELL, THIS HERE'S HER.

WELL, H-HOWDY, DOC.

OR WHATEVER IT IS
YOU CALL YOURSELF.

JUST CALL HER
A LADY DRUGGIST, BARNEY.

AND IF THEY'RE ALL AS PRETTY
AS SHE IS,

WE CAN SURE USE A LOT MORE
OF 'EM, COULDN'T WE?

I STILL DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING

IN THIS STORE
BEFORE IT'S OPEN.

OH, WELL, I RECKON
I KNOW THE STORE

ABOUT AS GOOD
AS FRED DOES,

SO I ALWAYS HELP MYSELF
EVEN WHEN HE'S HERE.

NOW, LET'S SEE.

TOTING THIS STUFF UP
IS THREE AND TWO

AND CARRY TWO IS $3.23.

SHERIFF, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?!

WHY, I'M PAYING
MY BILL, HERE.

IF YOU PLEASE!

THERE YOU ARE,
AND THANK YOU.

WELL... IT WAS VERY NICE
MEETING YOU, MISS WALKER.

UH, Y-YEAH.
IT WAS NICE.

BE SURE AND CALL ME
ANY TIME YOU SEE A THIEF,

ONLY MAKE SURE
IT AIN'T THE SHERIFF.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
AND COME AGAIN.

YOU ALL, UH...
YOU ALL GO AHEAD.

I'LL BE THERE
IN A, IN A MINUTE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

YES?

SO, UH, YOU'RE, UH...
YOU'RE FRED'S NIECE, ARE YA?

[ CHUCKLES ]

FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE, TOO,
I SEE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

17...

UM, EXCUSE ME.

WELL, I JUST THOUGHT

I MIGHT BE ABLE
TO HELP YOU A LITTLE BIT,

THIS BEING
YOUR FIRST DAY AND ALL--

KIND OF HELP YOU
FIND OUT WHERE THINGS ARE.

YOU'RE VERY KIND,
BUT I'LL MANAGE.

WELL, NOW, THAT'S NICE.

YOUR DIPLOMA
RIGHT UNDER FRED'S.

ELINOR WALKER, Ph.G.

PHARMACY GAL?

YOU MUST BE PROUDER
THAN A PRIZE HEIFER.

SHERIFF TAYLOR,
I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE,

BUT YOU DO UNDERSTAND

IF I'M GOING
TO HELP RUN THIS STORE,

I'VE GOT TO ESTABLISH
SOME SORT OF SYSTEM.

OH! WELL, OF COURSE
YOU DO, COURSE YOU DO.

SAME THING
IN THE SHERIFFING BUSINESS.

GOT TO KEEP THINGS ORDERLY

AND KNOW WHERE THINGS ARE
ALL THE TIME.

WOULDN'T DO
TO ARREST A PRISONER

AND THEN FORGET
WHERE YOU PUT HIM.

WELL, NOW,
THAT'S A NICE SMILE.

JUST AS TOOTHY...

EXPECT FOLKS WILL TAKE
TO THAT.

WELL, IF I CAN'T HELP YOU,
I RECKON I'LL GO ON.

I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN,
I RECKON.

BYE.

GOODBYE.

HELLO, ANDY.

WELL, MORNING, EMMA.
HOW ARE YOU?

TERRIBLE.

RAN OUT OF MY PILLS LAST NIGHT
AND COULDN'T SLEEP A WINK.

OH, THAT'S A SHAME.

TRIED WATCHING THAT LATE SHOW
ON TELEVISION.

EVEN THAT COULDN'T PUT ME
TO SLEEP.

I KNOW IT. I SAW IT.
IT WAS PRETTY GOOD, WASN'T IT?

SURE DOES
KEEP A BODY AWAKE

WHENEVER THEY SLIP IN A GOOD ONE
LIKE THAT.

IT'S LUCKY IT DON'T HAPPEN
MORE OFTEN.

WELL, I'LL SEE YA.

ANDY?

DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW
DID I HAVE A PAIN LAST NIGHT?

OH!
COURSE I DO.

DID YOU HAVE A PAIN
LAST NIGHT?

DID I HAVE A PAIN?

IT STARTED RIGHT HERE IN
THE SIDE AND SHOT DOWN MY LEG,

RACED UP THE OTHER SIDE
AND AROUND MY BACK,

AND THEN WENT CLEAN ON UP
MY NECK.

OH, I'LL SAY ONE THING FOR YOU,
EMMA --

WHEN YOU HAVE A PAIN,
IT REALLY GOES PLACES.

[ LAUGHS ]
DON'T IT JUST.

[ LAUGHS ]

UH, BUT AS SOON AS FRED GIVES ME
MY PILLS, I'LL BE FINE.

OH, FRED AIN'T HERE.
HIS NIECE IS HELPING HIM OUT.

UH, MISS WALKER?

SHE KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT PILLS?

OH, UH, MISS WALKER,
THIS IS EMMA BRAND,

A REAL GOOD CUSTOMER
OF FRED'S.

MISS WALKER WILL TAKE CARE
OF YOU.

WELL, BYE AGAIN.

BYE, ANDY.

YES, MA'AM?

I'D LIKE MY PILLS, PLEASE.

YOUR PILLS?

HERE'S MY DIME.
NOW GIVE ME MY PILLS.

A DIME FOR PILLS?

THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS PAY --
NO MORE, NO LESS.

NOW, LET ME HAVE MY PILLS.

MAY I SEE YOUR PRESCRIPTION,
PLEASE?

MY WHAT?

YOUR PRESCRIPTION.

THE, UH, WRITTEN ORDER
FOR YOUR MEDICATION?

OH, I DON'T NEED ONE.
NEVER HAD ONE.

UH, THEY'RE THEM LITTLE BLUE
PILLS IN THAT JAR THERE.

NOW, UH, GIVE ME A HANDFUL
AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY.

MRS. BRAND, I'LL BE GLAD TO GIVE
YOU WHATEVER PILLS YOU WANT

AND AS MANY AS YOU WANT
IF I JUST HAVE A PRESCRIPTION.

NOW, IF YOU'D LIKE ME
TO CALL YOUR DOCTOR, I'M --

I DON'T NEED A DOCTOR!
ALL I NEED IS MY PILLS!

NOW, GIVE ME MY PILLS.

I'M SORRY, MRS. BRAND.
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT.

WELL,
YOU'LL BE EVEN SORRIER,

'CAUSE NOW YOU'VE LOST
ALL MY BUSINESS.

COME CHRISTMASTIME,

DON'T EXPECT ME TO BUY
MY COTTON BALLS FROM YOU!

BARNEY, ARE YOU
CLEANING THAT GUN AGAIN?

YOU JUST CLEANED IT
YESTERDAY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AIN'T NOBODY EVER GONNA SAY
BARNEY FIFE'S GOT A DIRTY GUN.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE
TO CLEAN IT THAT MUCH.

YOU AIN'T EVEN
FIRED IT, HAVE YOU?

NO.

BUT I BEEN POINTIN' IT
A LOT.

YEAH, YEAH.

I GUESS POINTIN'

DOES LEAD
TO DUST COLLECTIN'.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU
POINT IT INTO THE WIND.

Emma:
SHERIFF!

OH, HI, EMMA.

SHERIFF, I COME
TO REPORT A MURDER.

A MURDER?!
THAT'S RIGHT.

SOMEBODY'S BEEN MURDERED?

YES.
WHO?

ME.
YOU?

YES, AND I'LL TELL YOU
WHO DONE IT.

THAT LADY DRUGGIST,
THAT'S WHO.

MISS, UH, MISS WALKER?

SHE'S THE ONE.

NOW, SHERIFF, GO ARREST HER.
DO YOUR DUTY.

WELL, NOW, EMMA, THEY'S...

THEY'S JUST THE TEENSIEST
LITTLE TECHNICALITY

INVOLVED HERE.

YOU AIN'T QUITE DEAD YET.

WELL, I WILL BE.

MAYBE A WEEK, TEN DAYS.

IF I DON'T HAVE MY PILLS,
IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

WELL, WHY WON'T
YOU HAVE YOUR PILLS?

THAT LADY DRUGGIST--
SHE WON'T SELL 'EM TO ME.

SAYS I HAVE
TO HAVE A PRESCRIPTION.

OH, SHE DOES.

YOU KNOW I NEVER HAD
TO HAVE A PRESCRIPTION BEFORE.

I JUST COME IN
AND PUT MY DIME DOWN

AND GOT MY PILLS.

THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN.

WELL, NOW, THAT MAY BE
THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN,

BUT WITH A NEW DRUGGIST,
AND EVERYTHING

IT MIGHT BE
A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT.

DIFFERENT OR NOT,
I WANT MY PILLS.

NOW, ARE YOU GOING

TO MAKE THAT GIRL
GIVE ME MY PILLS OR NOT?

WELL, EMMA, THE LAW DON'T ALLOW
ME TO FORCE ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

I COME LOOKIN' FOR JUSTICE,
AND IT'S BLIND!

NOW, EMMA,
DON'T GO AWAY MAD.

TO THINK I VOTED
FOR YOU LAST ELECTION.

NEVER EVEN
CONSIDERED NOBODY ELSE.

BAD, BAD SHERIFF!

HI.

HI.
ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?

THEY TOLD ME
THERE WAS A NEW LADY DRUGGIST,

SO I COME BY
TO LOOK AT HER.

ARE YOU HER?

I'M HER.

YOU'RE PRETTY.

WELL, THANK YOU.

MAKE GOOD FACES, TOO.

WELL, I'VE HAD
A LOT OF EXPERIENCE.

I'M ELLIE WALKER.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

OPIE TAYLOR.

ARE YOU ANY RELATION
TO SHERIFF TAYLOR?

HE'S MY PA.

OH.

AIN'T GOT NO MA.

BUT I GOT AUNT BEE.
SHE TAKES CARE OF ME.

I SEE.

WOULD YOU LIKE
AN ICE CREAM CONE?

I'D LIKE ONE FINE,
ONLY I AIN'T GOT NO MONEY.

I WHAT?

I AIN'T GOT NO MONEY.

WELL, I MEANT I'D GIVE YOU ONE
FREE OF CHARGE.

FREE? HONEST?

ON ONE CONDITION:

THAT YOU DON'T SAY "AIN'T"
ANYMORE.

YES'M.

GEE, I... UH...

I HAVEN'T EVER HAD
A FREE ICE CREAM CONE BEFORE.

I AIN'T EVEN HAD
A PAID ONE LATELY.

WELL, YOUNG MAN,

WHAT YOU DOIN' OVER HERE
IN THE DRUGSTORE?

GETTIN'
A ICE CREAM CONE.

WELL, WHERE IN THE WORLD

DID YOU GET
THE MONEY FOR THAT?

DIDN'T NEED
ANY MONEY, PA.

SHE'S GOING
TO GIVE IT TO ME FREE

JUST FOR NOT
SAYING "AIN'T" NO MORE.

SO I AIN'T GOING
TO SAY "AIN'T" NO MORE.

WELL, I DON'T BLAME YOU.

HERE YOU ARE.
THANK YOU.

CERTAINLY IS MIGHTY GENEROUS
OF YOU, MISS WALKER.

LET'S JUST CALL IT
AN INTRODUCTORY SPECIAL, HUH?

SHE'S A REAL NICE LADY,
PA, AIN'T SHE?

I MEAN, ISN'T SHE?

SHE SURE IS.

ARE YOU MARRIED?

NO.

MY PA AIN'T MARRIED
EITHER.

BYE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

HE'S A NICE BOY.

YEAH, HE DOES VERY WELL.

TALKS A LITTLE TOO MUCH
ONCE IN A WHILE.

I RECKON
TALKING'S GOOD, THOUGH.

KIND OF CLEARS THE AIR.

AND, UH...
SPEAKING OF THAT

SOMETHING COME
TO MY ATTENTION THIS MORNING

THAT I'D KIND OF LIKE
TO GET STRAIGHTENED OUT

IF I COULD.

UH, I-IT'S ABOUT, UM...

UM...

JUST WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BETTER
TELL HER, EMMA.

ALL RIGHT.
I'M GETTING MY PILLS.

IF SHE WON'T GIVE 'EM TO ME,
I'LL TAKE 'EM.

THAT'S STEALING.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU CALL IT.
I WANT MY PILLS!

WELL, NOW, YOU CAN'T
RIGHTLY PUT EMMA

IN THE CATEGORY
OF A THIEF.

FOR ONE THING,
SHE DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING.

FOR ANOTHER,
SHE WASN'T ABOUT TO.

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU
GOT IN YOUR HAND.

LOOK, THERE'S A DIME.
SHE WAS GOING TO PAY FOR THEM.

YOU CAN'T RIGHTLY
CALL THAT STEALING.

SHERIFF TAYLOR,
I'VE ALREADY TOLD MRS. BRAND

SHE CAN'T HAVE THOSE PILLS
WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION.

YET SHE SNEAKS IN HERE
AND TRIES TO HELP HERSELF.

WHAT'S WORSE, YOU CONDONE IT.

WELL, MISS WALKER,
IF YOU WOULD JUST REALIZE...

NO USE TALKING TO HER.

SHE'S MEAN.

SHE'S MEAN AND HEARTLESS,

SO I'LL JUST GO HOME
AND SUFFER.

[ GROANING ]

POOR OLD SOUL.

SHE'S STARTED
TO WALK CROOKED.

YOU DON'T CARE
ABOUT SEEING

ANOTHER HUMAN BEING
SUFFER, DO YOU?

ALL RIGHT,
YOU JUST GO RIGHT ON.

STICK TO YOUR RULES
AND REGULATIONS.

SOME OF THESE TIMES,
WHEN YOU'RE SICK AND ACHING

AND CAN'T GET UP BY YOURSELF,
SEE WHO HELPS YOU.

THERE'S A DIME
FOR MY BOY'S ICE CREAM.

GOOD MORNING, BARNEY.
HI, ANDY.

WHAT YOU DOING?

MEMORIZING
THESE SHERIFF RULES.

I GOT THE FIRST ONE
MEMORIZED.

HAVE YOU?

WANT TO CHECK ME
ON IT?

OH, ALL RIGHT.

I KNOW
THE WHOLE THING.

OKAY...
"RULE NUMBER ONE."

ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

UH, DO YOU WANT TO JUST

GIVE ME THE FIRST WORD
ON THE..?

OKAY. UH, "AN."

AN. AN.

AN?

YEAH, "AN."

YOU SURE?

I'M LOOKING
RIGHT AT IT.

"AN."

"AN."

UH, YOU WANT TO JUST GIVE ME
THE, UH, THE SECOND WORD?

OKAY.

"AN OFFICER."

OH, YEAH.
AN OFFICER.

"AN OFFICER..."

"AN, AN OFFICER..."

"AN OFFICER...

"AN OFFICER...

"AN OFFICER, AN OFFICER...

AN OFFICER..."

"AN OFFICER OF THE..."

"AN OFFICER OF THE...

"AN OFFICER OF THE, UH...

AN OFFICER OF THE WHAT?

AN OFFICER OF THE WHAT...

THAT DON'T SOUND RIGHT.

NO, THAT AIN'T RIGHT.

"AN OFFICER OF THE LAW."

OH, YEAH.
AN OFFICER OF THE LAW.

"AN OFFICER OF THE LAW...

"AN OFFICER OF THE LAW...

"AN OFFICER OF THE LAW...

"AN OFFICER OF THE LAW...

AN OFFICER OF THE LAW..."

SHH...

"AN OFFICER...

"SHALL..."

OH, YEAH. "AN OFFICER
OF THE LAW SHALL...

"ENFORCE...
"ENFORCE

"THE LAW...
"THE LAW

"AND ORDER...
"AND ORDER

"WITHOUT...
"WITHOUT

"REGARD...
"WITHOUT REGARD...

"TO PERSONAL...
"TO PERSONAL...

"WELFARE...
"WELFARE...

AND SAFETY."
AND SAFETY."

PRETTY GOOD.

YOU WANT TO GO OVER IT AGAIN,
OR YOU THINK YOU GOT IT?

I GOT IT.

OKAY.

HI, BARNEY.
HELLO, ANDY.

OH, HEY, AUNT BEE.
WHAT YOU GOT THERE?

SOME SOUP
FOR EMMA BRAND.

SHE'S TAKEN TO HER BED AGAIN,
POOR DEAR.

BARNEY, WOULD YOU
DROP THIS OFF FOR ME

IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE
UP HER WAY?

I KNEW IT!
I KNEW IT!

KNEW WHAT?

THAT GIRL DRUGGIST AND
HER DAD-BURNED TECHNICALITIES

HAVE DRIVEN EMMA
TO HER SICKBED.

ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL JUST GET US UP
SOME TECHNICALITIES OF OUR OWN.

COME ON, BARNEY.

BRING THE SOUP.

WELL, DID YOU
FIND ANYTHING?

THERE MUST BE SOME WAY

WE CAN MAKE THAT FEMALE DRUGGIST
GIVE EMMA HER PILLS.

WELL, CLOSEST I CAN FIND IS
WILSON vs. THORPE'S PHARMACY

IN MOUNT COREY, 1952.

WHAT DOES IT SAY?

UH, "WILSON SUES THORPE

"FOR REFUSING
TO SELL HIM ARSENIC

"TO KILL RATS
IN HIS CELLAR.

"PHARMACIST THORPE CLAIMED
ARSENIC WOULD BE DANGEROUS

"TO WILSON'S
PERSONAL SAFETY,

"AS WILSON WAS NOT
A RESPONSIBLE PERSON.

"WILSON, HOWEVER,
PROVED BEYOND ANY DOUBT

"THAT HE WAS SAFE
AND RESPONSIBLE,

"WON THE CASE,

AND PURCHASED HIS ARSENIC
ON TUESDAY, MAY 4."

THAT'S GOOD.
WE GOT HER.

"HE WAS BURIED
ON FRIDAY, MAY 7."

WELL, WE JUST
LOST HER AGAIN.

BETTER GET THIS SOUP
INTO EMMA.

IT'S GETTING COLD.

TERRIBLE WAY TO GO,
THAT ARSENIC.

MUST SMART.

YEAH.

TO TELL YOU
THE TRUTH, BARNEY,

IT JUST SETS ME ON FIRE

HOW ONE HUMAN BEING COULD BE
SO INCONSIDERATE OF ANOTHER.

IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE
A MAN'S BLOOD BOIL.

Emma:
[ Weakly ] COME IN.

OH, LISTEN.

THAT POOR OLD SOUL'S SO WEAK
SHE CAN'T HARDLY TALK.

AW. HELLO, EMMA.
HEY, EMMA.

OH, SHERIFF,
MORE SOUP?

AUNT BEE
SENT IT TO YOU.

OH, HOW KIND.

JUST PUT IT OVER THERE

BETWEEN THE PORK ROAST
AND THE FRIED CHICKEN.

IT CERTAINLY IS PLAIN
TO SEE

YOU AIN'T GOING
TO STARVE TO DEATH.

NO, KIND FRIENDS BEEN BRINGING
THINGS ALL MORNING.

OH, AIN'T IT WONDERFUL

HOW THE FOLKS HELP A BODY OUT
IN TIME OF NEED.

BLESS 'EM.

THEY WANT MY LAST DAYS
TO BE HAPPY ONES.

THERE'S NO TELLING
HOW LONG IT WILL BE.

NOW, EMMA,
DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

OH, DEAR.
I HOPE THAT'S NOT MORE SOUP.

WELL, I CERTAINLY
DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU.

MAY I COME IN?

WHO IS IT, ANDY?

YOU?!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I CAME TO BRING YOU
SOME SOUP,

BUT APPARENTLY,
I'M A LITTLE LATE.

YOU'RE LATE IN MORE WAYS
THAN ONE, YOUNG WOMAN.

I'M GOING DOWNHILL FAST,

AND YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT PUSHED ME.

YOU TRY TO STAY CALM,
MRS. BRAND,

AND IF YOU'RE REFERRING
TO THE PILLS, HERE YOU ARE.

THOSE MY PILLS?

MM-HMM.

WELL, WHAT
DO YOU KNOW.

YOU GIVING
THEM TO ME?

I'M SELLING THEM
TO YOU.

THE DIME WILL BE
ON YOUR BILL.

YOU BETTER TAKE ONE
RIGHT NOW.

I HOPE THEY'RE IN TIME
TO SAVE ME.

IT'S NOT TOO BAD.

YOU TAKE ONE OF THESE
EVERY FEW HOURS,

AND I'M SURE YOU'LL BE FIT
AS A FIDDLE BY MORNING.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'VE GOT TO GET BACK
TO THE STORE.

MISS WALKER.

BLESS YOU.

THANK YOU.

OH, I'M FEELING
BETTER ALREADY.

I THINK I'LL
EAT SOMETHING.

HAND ME THAT FRIED CHICKEN,
WILL YOU, BARNEY?

UH, MISS WALKER?

YES.

THAT WAS, UH...

THAT WAS A FINE THING
YOU DID THERE,

BRINGING EMMA THAT SOUP,
AND ESPECIALLY HER PILLS.

SHERIFF TAYLOR,
I BROUGHT THOSE PILLS

BECAUSE I FOUND MYSELF
BECOMING THE TOWN VILLAIN.

IT SEEMS EVERYONE
WHO CAME IN THE STORE

HAD SOMETHING
TO SAY ABOUT IT.

IS THAT THE ONLY REASON
YOU BROUGHT THEM?

WELL, MAYBE I THOUGHT,
"WHAT'S THE HARM?"

MA'AM, NOT GIVING
EMMA THEM PILLS

IS WHAT PUT HER IN HER SICK BED
TO START WITH.

DON'T BE SILLY.

THOSE PILLS
COULDN'T CURE A SNIFFLE.

THEY'RE NOTHING
BUT SUGAR PILLS.

SUGAR PILLS?

THAT'S RIGHT.
A PLACEBO.

THEY HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO
MEDICINAL QUALITIES WHATSOEVER.

IT'S ALL IN HER MIND.
THE PILLS ARE NOTHING.

IT'S JUST THAT EMMA THINKS
THEY DO SOME GOOD.

THAT'S WHY UNCLE FRED
HAS BEEN GIVING THEM TO HER

WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION
AND WHY HE ONLY CHARGES A DIME.

I ALWAYS DID THINK
THAT WAS KIND OF A LOW PRICE

FOR A MIRACLE DRUG.

WELL, TELL ME
SOMETHING, THEN.

IF YOU KNEW
THEY WAS HARMLESS,

THEN HOW COME YOU INSISTED ON
A PRESCRIPTION?

BECAUSE I'M A PHARMACIST,

AND THERE ARE CERTAIN
PRESCRIBED RULES

I'M SWORN TO FOLLOW.

WELL, I KNOW,
AND THAT'S GOOD.

I MEAN, RULES
AND THINGS LIKE THAT

ARE FINE THINGS
TO HAVE, I RECKON.

BUT SOMETIMES, WELL,
ONCE IN A WHILE

YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT
THE FOLKS INVOLVED IN IT.

LIKE EMMA GETTING SICK

'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T
HAVE THEM PILLS.

WHAT DO THEY CALL IT
IN THE BOOKS?

I BELIEVE, WHAT--

THE HUMAN EQUATION,
I THINK IT IS.

YOU MUST BELIEVE
THAT, TOO,

OR YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
BROUGHT THEM TO HER.

WELL, MAYBE.

YEAH, I BET YOU DO.

I WISH
YOU'D LOOKY YONDER.

DON'T THAT BEAT ANYTHING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, I HAVE TO GIVE 'EM
A TICKET.

WHY?

WELL, THEY PARKED
IN FRONT OF A FIREPLUG.

BROKE A LAW.

WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOUR HUMAN EQUATION?

HOW'S THAT?

WHAT ABOUT THE PERSON?

MAYBE THEY DIDN'T SEE
THE HYDRANT.

MAYBE THEY RAN OUT OF GAS
AND HAD TO LEAVE IT HERE.

MAYBE THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY
AND IT COULDN'T BE HELPED.

ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE
BY GIVING THEM A TICKET?

I, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER
YOU GOT A POINT THERE OR NOT,

BUT I'M DOGGED IF I AIN'T
A-FEELIN' RIGHT GENEROUS.

I'LL JUST FORGET IT
THIS TIME.

GOOD, AND DON'T YOU
FEEL BETTER FOR IT?

[ CHUCKLES ]
I RECKON I DO.

FINE.
THEN EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.

GOODBYE.

BYE.

UH, MISS -- MISS WALKER?

HI, SHERIFF TAYLOR.

I SEE YOU'RE CLOSING UP.

YES.

IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO FOR YOU, THOUGH?

WELL, I JUST WAS OVER
AT EMMA BRAND'S HOUSE

TO SEE HOW
SHE WAS GETTIN' ALONG.

OH, HOW IS SHE?
COMPLETELY RECOVERED?

WELL, NO.

NO?

UH, MISS WALKER,
THEM PILLS--

YOU'RE SURE
THEY WON'T HELP HER

NO MATTER HOW MANY
OF THEM SHE TAKES?

DID SHE SEND YOU HERE
FOR MORE?

WELL...

BELIEVE ME --
THOSE PILLS ARE INEFFECTUAL.

AND SHE IS NOT SICK.

BUT, MISS WALKER...

WELL, YOU SAW EMMA
SITTING THERE

EATING ALL THAT
SOUP AND TURKEY

AND CHICKEN
AND PORK ROAST.

HONESTLY, IT'S
ALL IN HER HEAD.

WELL, NO,
IT'S ALL IN HER STOMACH.

SHE ATE ALL THAT FOOD,
AND NOW SHE REALLY IS SICK.

[ WHISTLING SPRIGHTLY TUNE ]