The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 1, Episode 30 - Barney Gets His Man - full transcript
Barney catches a man littering and starts to write him a ticket when the man sees a state police car and tries to flee. He and Barney get tangled up and fall to the ground and the policemen credit Barney with the capture. "I'll get you for this, deputy," Eddie Brooke threatens a befuddled Barney as they lead him away. With a gathering crowd congratulating him, Barney quickly recovers and swaggers away, spending the rest of the day basking in the limelight. Before a party at Andy's that night, they find out Brooke has escaped again. He heads toward Mayberry so Andy and Barney, who's edgy now, join the manhunt. The woods are quiet and Barney tries to tell Andy what really happened the day before. They rendezvous with the state men at an old barn where Andy thinks the criminal is hiding out so he sets Barney up in the barn to recapture Brooke.
ANDY...
HMM?
DID YOU SEE THAT?
SEE WHAT?
LITTERING.
I'LL TAKE HIM.
OKAY.
I'LL GET SOME COFFEE.
SAY, FELLA!
YOU, UH, NEW
HERE, MISTER?
HUH?
WE GOT LAWS
IN THIS TOWN.
WELL,
I AIN'T DONE NOTHING.
LOOK,
I'M IN KIND OF A HURRY.
YOU GOT TIME ENOUGH
TO LITTER THE STREETS.
OH, IS THAT ALL?
IS THAT ALL?!
LITTERING'S NOTHING
TO BE LAUGHED AT.
YOU LET ONE PERSON LITTER,
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS?
WELL, I...
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
EVERYBODY'S LITTERING.
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'D BETTER DO?
I'D JUST BETTER
WRITE YOU A CITATION.
LOOK, DEPUTY, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TAKE THIS FIVE BUCKS
AND WE'LL FORGET
THE WHOLE THING, OKAY?
ARE YOU TRYING TO BRIBE
AN OFFICER OF THE LAW?!
WELL, IT'S ONLY A FIN...
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TAKE THIS AND LET ME GO?
ALL RIGHT,
DROP IT RIGHT HERE!
NICE GOING, DEPUTY.
YES, SIR, NICE GOING.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT HAPPENED, BARNEY?
YOUR DEPUTY JUST
HELPED US NAIL EDDIE BROOKE.
WHAT?!
HE ESCAPED
FROM ATLANTA
YESTERDAY.
THREE-TIME LOSER
DOING 20 YEARS.
WE GOT HERE AS YOUR DEPUTY
THREW HIM TO THE GROUND.
HE-HE DID WHAT?
I-I -- UH...
BARNEY?
BARNEY, YOU
ALL RIGHT?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, THELMA LOU,
YOU CAN BE RIGHT PROUD
OF YOUR BOYFRIEND.
YOU SURE CAN.
YOU SURE CAN.
HE JUST HELPED CAPTURE
AN ESCAPED CRIMINAL.
HE WHAT?!
Andy: HE GOT HIM DOWN SO'S
THE TROOPERS COULD TAKE HIM.
BARNEY, HOW...
HOW'D IT HAPPEN?
UH, OH, WELL,
I-I'M NOT TOO SURE.
SEE, IT ALL
HAPPENED SO FAST.
HE-HE BEGAN TO... UH...
ALL RIGHT, BROOKE,
LET'S GET MOVING.
GOOD MAN THERE, SHERIFF.
I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS,
DEPUTY.
BARNEY, I'VE GOT
TO HAND IT TO YOU.
THAT BEATS ANYTHING
I EVER HEARD OF.
I SAW IT ALL
FROM MY STORE.
BARNEY NAILED HIM
WITH A FLYING TACKLE.
NOW, WHAT'D YOU
DO THEN, BARNEY?
WHAT'D HE DO?
HE CLIPPED HIM
WITH A SHORT RIGHT.
WHY, THAT PUNCH DIDN'T GO
NO FURTHER THAN A FOOT.
HEY, HEY, IT WAS
MORE THAN A PUNCH.
HE MUST HAVE USED
SOME OF THAT JUDO.
WHY, THAT FELLA
NEVER HAD A CHANCE.
AIN'T THAT
RIGHT, BARNEY?
BARNEY, I'M SO
PROUD OF YOU.
BUT... BUT YOU COULD
HAVE BEEN HURT.
YOU MIGHT HAVE
BEEN KILLED.
YEAH.
YEAH, BUT THEN AGAIN,
HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN HURT.
HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN KILLED.
YOU'RE A REAL HERO, BARNEY.
TOOK A LOT OF COURAGE.
WHAT ARE YOU SO SURPRISED ABOUT?
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
DEPUTY FIFE,
IT LOOKS LIKE TO ME
YOU'VE PUT IN
A GOOD DAY'S WORK ALREADY.
HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO TAKE THELMA LOU HERE
AND HAVE THE REST
OF THE AFTERNOON OFF?
OH, BARNEY, WILL YOU?
WELL, I'D LIKE TO, THELMA LOU,
BUT I DON'T GUESS I'D BETTER.
WHY NOT?
WELL, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW
WHEN ANOTHER BEAST
MIGHT COME DOWN
OUT OF THE FOREST.
YOU UNDERSTAND,
DON'T YOU, THELMA LOU?
WELL...
I REALLY DON'T
EXPECT YOU TO.
YOU SEE, THELMA LOU...
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL
THE DEADLY GAME.
I'M IN IT FOR KEEPS.
YOU START OUT TO GIVE A MAN
A TICKET FOR LITTERING
AND NEXT THING I KNOW,
WHY, YOU'RE THE TOAST
OF MAYBERRY.
WELL, I'LL ADMIT IT STARTED OUT
WITH LITTERING, BUT...
THE MINUTE I SEEN HIM CLOSE UP,
I KNEW THIS WAS BIGGER GAME.
OH, YOU DID, HUH?
YEAH, BOY...
HE SEEN ME CLOSING IN,
HE MADE HIS MOVE.
AND THAT'S WHEN
YOU GOT HIM?
HE NEVER HAD A CHANCE.
HOW'D YOU GET
HIM DOWN AGAIN?
I GIVE HIM THE OLD...
BODY BLOCK.
THE OLD BODY BLOCK?
YEAH, THAT'S WHERE YOU MAKE
A WEAPON OUT OF YOUR WHOLE BODY.
OH, IS THAT WHAT
YOUR BODY IS-- A WEAPON?
WHEN USED CORRECTLY.
YEAH, I TURNED MYSELF
INTO AN OBSTACLE.
SUDDENLY, I'M NO LONGER
BARNEY FIFE, THE MAN.
I'M BARNEY FIFE,
THE BULKHEAD.
I'LL BE DOGGED.
WELL!
MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ME
A LOOK AROUND TOWN.
NO TELLING WHAT
MIGHT BE COMING UP.
YOU KNOW, ANDY...
I NEVER THOUGHT
OUR TOWN WOULD COME TO THIS.
HMPH!
MAYBERRY--
GATEWAY TO DANGER.
HI, BARNEY.
HEY, HERE'S BARNEY.
YOU-ALL HEARD HOW BARNEY CAUGHT
THAT CROOK TODAY?
THREW HIMSELF IN FRONT OF HIM
AND BLOCKED HIM.
MADE A WEAPON
OUT OF MY WHOLE BODY.
HI, PA.
HI, OPE.
HEY, PA, SAY "DRAW!"
DRAW!
OOH.
YOU GOT ME.
YOU MUST BE THE FASTEST GUN
IN THE FIRST GRADE.
BARNEY'S BEEN TEACHING ME.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, PA?
THAT WAS A MIGHTY BRAVE THING
HE DONE TODAY,
CATCHING THAT CROOK.
SURE WAS.
PA, YOU SUPPOSE MAYBE BARNEY
WAS SCARED JUST A LITTLE BIT?
IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME.
A WHOLE LOT OF TIMES,
THAT'S THE WAY A FELLER
GETS TO BE A HERO --
BY BEING SCARED ENOUGH
TO DO SOMETHING BRAVE.
HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN SCARED, PA?
REALLY SCARED?
YEAH, BOY.
I REMEMBER ONE TIME WHEN I WAS
ABOUT YOUR AGE,
I CLIMBED OVER THIS FENCE
INTO THIS FARMER'S FIELD,
AND I COME FACE TO FACE
WITH A GREAT BIG OLD BULL.
AND HE HAD THE MEANEST
DISPOSITION
AND THE LONGEST HORNS.
WHAT'D YOU DO, PA?
OH, I'D SAY
ABOUT 60 MILES AN HOUR.
ANYTHING LESS, AND I MIGHT
HAVE HAD MY PRIDE PUNCTURED.
OPIE, I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
WE HAVE TO GET YOU
SOME NEW JEANS.
AGAIN? THAT BOY
GOES THROUGH BRITCHES
LIKE HE'S WEARING
SANDPAPER UNDERWEAR.
I KNOW.
WHERE'S BARNEY?
HE'S AT THE POST OFFICE.
I HAVEN'T CONGRATULATED
HIM YET.
THAT WAS A VERY BRAVE
THING HE DID TODAY.
IT SOUNDS
KIND OF FRIGHTENING.
IT REALLY WAS.
IT'S THE MOST EXCITING THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO BARNEY.
I'LL BET HE'S SO PROUD.
HE'S GOT REASON TO BE, TOO.
I'M PROUD OF HIM.
YOU KNOW, ANDY,
A THING LIKE THIS
HAPPENS SO SELDOM.
I THINK WE SHOULD CELEBRATE
IN SOME WAY.
WE GONNA HAVE A PARTY,
AUNT BEE?
LET'S SURPRISE HIM.
Opie:
OH, BOY,
A SURPRISE PARTY!
THAT'S AN OUTSTANDING IDEA,
AUNT BEE.
KEEP IT SMALL--
JUST US AND THELMA LOU.
OKAY.
MMM!
ANDY, NOW, STOP IT!
STOP IT!
ANDY, NOW, PLEASE!
YOU'RE WORSE
THAN OPIE.
WELL, I CAN'T HELP IT.
IT'S GOOD.
HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN
HERE TEN MINUTES AGO.
ANDY, ARE YOU SURE...
NOW, THELMA LOU,
JUST BE PATIENT.
HE'LL BE HERE.
HE'S JUST A FEW MINUTES LATE.
THERE'S THE POLICE CAR.
HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!
I'LL GET THE LIGHTS.
NOW, MAKE THAT SURPRISE GOOD
AND LOUD WHEN HE COMES IN.
COME IN.
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
OH, UH...
HOWDY, BOYS.
WE WAS EXPECTING
DEPUTY FIFE.
WHAT ARE YOU-ALL DOING
BACK IN TOWN?
WE LOOKED FOR YOU
DOWN AT THE COURTHOUSE.
SHERIFF, WE...
WELL, HI, EVERYBODY.
Andy:
HI, BARN.
WH-WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY
FOR YOU, BARNEY.
FOR ME?
Andy:
YEAH.
OH, MY GOSH.
WELL, DID YOU FELLAS
COME ALL THE WAY BACK
JUST FOR
MY SURPRISE PARTY?
NO, BUT WE DO HAVE
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
WE WERE HEADED
FOR THE CAPITAL
AND WE STOPPED AT A GAS STATION
AND BROOKE ESCAPED.
ESCAPED?!
GOT OUT THROUGH A WINDOW
IN THE RESTROOM.
Brooke:
I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, DEPUTY.
Andy:
BARNEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?
HUH?
I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, DEPUTY.
Brooke: ...DEPUTY.
BARNEY!
OH, UH...
HI, THELMA LOU.
UH... I WAS JUST, UH...
PRACTICING
MY QUICK DRAW.
BARNEY, I...
I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
WELL, SHUCKS,
THELMA LOU
THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
TO BE WORRIED ABOUT.
THERE'S A KILLER
ROAMIN' AROUND
WHO SWORE HE'D GET YOU.
BARNEY, I WISH
YOU'D DO ME A FAVOR
AND... AND LEAVE TOWN
FOR A FEW DAYS.
GOSH, THELMA LOU,
WHAT KIND OF A MAN
WOULD I BE
IF I RAN
FROM TROUBLE?
A LIVE ONE.
A MAN LIKE BROOKE
COULD DO ANYTHING.
COME ON, THELMA LOU.
GIVE THE MAN CREDIT
FOR SO INTELLIGENCE.
HE AIN'T GOING
TO BE STUPID ENOUGH
TO COME BACK HERE AND TANGLE
WITH OL' BARNEY FIFE.
SO, UH...
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST RUN ALONG
HOME, HUH?
OH, HI, THELMA LOU.
ANDY, I WISH YOU'D
MAKE BARNEY GO AWAY
FOR A FEW DAYS.
AW, SHUCKS, THELMA LOU
BARNEY'S GOT
THAT FELLA'S NUMBER.
Thelma Lou:
YOU SURE?
YEAH.
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
YOU TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF, BARNEY.
HELLO. SHERIFF'S OFFICE.
OH, HELLO, CAPTAIN.
YEAH.
YEAH.
WELL, MUCH OBLIGED
FOR LETTING US KNOW.
RIGHT, CAPTAIN. BYE.
WHAT WAS THAT?
THAT WAS CAPTAIN ARDELL,
STATE POLICE.
A MAN ANSWERING
BROOKE'S DESCRIPTION
WAS SEEN HEADED
TOWARD MAYBERRY
IN A STOLEN CAR.
BARNEY, MAYBE
THELMA LOU HAD SOMETHING
ABOUT YOU LEAVING TOWN
FOR A FEW DAYS.
OH, HELLO,
JOHNSON, MILLER.
CAPTAIN ARDELL
JUST CALLED AND SAID
THEY THINK BROOKE'S
HEADED THIS WAY.
WE SAW HIS CAR
ABANDONED BY A LAKE
OUTSIDE OF TOWN.
THAT'S IN THATCHER'S WOODS.
THAT'S JUST...
THREE MILES FROM HERE.
ARE YOU BOYS
WITH US?
UH... SURE THING.
WE'LL WAIT FOR YOU.
MAKE IT QUICK.
WELL, BARNEY?
LET'S GO.
LOAD UP.
BREAD AND BUTTER.
SEE ANYTHING, ANDY?
NOT YET.
A LOT OF PLACES
A MAN COULD HIDE
AROUND THIS LAKE.
YOU WAIT HERE, BARNEY.
WHERE YOU GOING?
I'M GONNA CLIMB
THIS TREE HERE
AND SEE IF I CAN GET
A BETTER VIEW FROM THE TOP.
GOOD IDEA.
CLIMB THAT TREE
AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET
A BETTER VIEW FROM THE TOP.
UH... I THOUGHT
I'D COME UP
AND HELP YOU LOOK.
MY EYES ARE 20/20,
YOU KNOW.
HEY, BARNEY,
WOULD YOU MIND
IF I STOP AND REST
A LITTLE WHILE?
I... I'M BUSHED.
YEAH, YOU GO AHEAD.
MAKE IT EASY
ON YOURSELF.
I'LL WAIT TILL YOU...
GET YOUR SECOND WIND.
OKAY.
SHERIFF TAYLOR
CALLING OFFICER JOHNSON.
SHERIFF TAYLOR CALLING
OFFICER JOHNSON, OVER.
NO, NARY A THING.
YOU-ALL SPOTTED
ANYTHING?
WELL, JUST...
JUST KEEP LOOKING.
WE'LL MEET YOU AFTER A WHILE
OVER AT THE OLD BARN.
OVER AND OUT.
THEY AIN'T SEEN
NOTHIN' EITHER,
NOT EVEN A FOOTPRINT.
IF THAT FELLA'S
IN THESE WOODS
HE'S BOUND TO BE SWINGING
FROM TREE TO TREE.
WHAT WAS THAT?
HE'S IN THERE, ANDY!
I KNOW HE IS!
NOW, JUST TAKE
IT EASY, BARNEY.
CAREFUL, ANDY.
HE'S A DANGEROUS KILLER.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.
BARNEY, YOU HAD NO IDEA
IT WASN'T BROOKE.
I NOTICE
YOU DIDN'T DRAW.
WELL...
OH, WHAT'S THE USE
OF KIDDING, ANDY?
EVER SINCE I HEARD
BROOKE WAS ON THE LOOSE...
BARNEY,
IF WE'RE GOING
TO MEET THEM STATE
TROOPERS AT THE BARN
WE BETTER GET GOING.
ANDY, YESTERDAY,
WHEN I RUN INTO BROOKE...
I HOPE THEY CAN
FIND THAT OLD BARN.
WAIT, ANDY, THERE'S SOMETHING
I'D LIKE YOU TO KNOW
ABOUT THAT CAPTURE.
AIN'T GOING TO BE
MUCH LIGHT LEFT.
ANDY...
YOU COMING,
BARNEY?
OKAY.
MILLER, YOU
AND BARNEY CHECK
THE CHICKEN HOUSE
OVER THERE.
YOU KNOW, I BETTER
CHECK THAT LOFT.
UH... JOHNSON.
JOHNSON.
YEAH, SHERIFF?
YOU KNOW,
BROOKE'S TOO SMART
TO LET HIMSELF
BE TRAPPED IN A BARN.
NOW, WE'VE COVERED THE AREA
FROM THE LAKE
UP HERE TO THE BARN.
LET'S CIRCLE ON AROUND
FROM HERE
DOWN TO THE HIGHWAY.
I'M SURE GLAD
YOU KNOW THIS PART
OF THE COUNTRY, SHERIFF.
WELL, I OUGHT TO.
WHEN I WAS YOUNG
I SPENT MORE TIME AROUND HERE
THAN I DID WHEN
I WAS AT SCHOOL.
OH, SOMETHING ELSE
I'D LIKE TO DO, TOO.
I'D LIKE TO LEAVE
MY DEPUTY HERE.
I DON'T GET YOU,
SHERIFF.
WELL, IF BROOKE EVER
SPOTS BARNEY, LOOK OUT.
AND I CAN'T BLAME HIM.
IF IT HADN'T
BEEN FOR BARNEY,
YOU ALL MIGHT NOT HAVE CAUGHT
BROOKE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
YEAH. WELL, IT'S
A GOOD THING HE'S NOT ARMED.
YEAH. COME ON.
LET ME HAVE THAT WALKIE-TALKIE.
I'LL GIVE THAT TO BARNEY.
HEY, BARNEY!
YOU WANT ME, ANDY?
HEY, BARNEY, LISTEN.
I GOT AN IMPORTANT JOB FOR YOU.
THIS HERE BARN IS GOING TO BE
COMMUNICATIONS CENTER
AND YOU'RE IN CHARGE.
OH. WELL,
DON'T YOU... DON'T...
DON'T YOU THINK
I'D BE MORE HELP
OUT THERE
WITH THE FELLAS?
OH, NO. YOU'D BE MUCH MORE
VALUABLE RIGHT HERE.
KEEP IN TOUCH, NOW.
UH... DEPUTY FIFE
CALLING SHERIFF TAYLOR. OVER.
HI, ANDY.
ANY NEWS?
WELL, YEAH.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I KNOW YOU JUST LEFT.
I THOUGHT MAYBE...
MAYBE YOU RAN INTO SOMETHING.
UH... 10-4.
DON'T SHOOT!
I AIN'T GOT NO GUN!
BARNEY,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
THE DEPUTY
GOT HIM.
HE DONE IT AGAIN.
HOW'D YOU DO IT, BARNEY?
HOW'D YOU NAIL HIM?
DID HE RUSH YOU?
WELL, SAY SOMETHING.
WELL, WHAT'S
THE MATTER, BARNEY?
I SWALLOWED MY GUM.
OKAY, BARNEY.
I'M SORRY YOU GOT NIGHT DUTY.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
ANDY.
HEY, DID YOU SEE THE LOOK
ON THAT BROOKE'S FACE
WHEN THOSE TWO TROOPERS
TOOK HIM AWAY THE SECOND TIME?
YEAH. DON'T FORGET TO PUT
THE LATCH ON THE BACK DOOR.
BOY, HE SURE WAS --
I GOT TO GO, BARNEY.
GOOD NIGHT.
YEAH. UH...
NIGHT.
Now, make that surprise
good and loud.
Ready?
All: SURPRISE!
EASY, TIGER.
IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY,
BARNEY!
LOOK AT ALL THIS
GOOD STUFF.
HI!
OH, YOU DIDN'T
HAVE TO DO THIS.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
WHAT ARE YOU TWO FELLAS
DOING HERE?
DON'T TELL ME THAT BROOKE'S
ON HIS WAY BACK!
OH, NOT ON YOUR LIFE.
NOT WITH OLD TIGER FIFE AROUND.
NOW LET'S HEAR IT
FOR BARNEY.
All: * WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH BARNEY? *
* HE'S ALL RIGHT!
HMM?
DID YOU SEE THAT?
SEE WHAT?
LITTERING.
I'LL TAKE HIM.
OKAY.
I'LL GET SOME COFFEE.
SAY, FELLA!
YOU, UH, NEW
HERE, MISTER?
HUH?
WE GOT LAWS
IN THIS TOWN.
WELL,
I AIN'T DONE NOTHING.
LOOK,
I'M IN KIND OF A HURRY.
YOU GOT TIME ENOUGH
TO LITTER THE STREETS.
OH, IS THAT ALL?
IS THAT ALL?!
LITTERING'S NOTHING
TO BE LAUGHED AT.
YOU LET ONE PERSON LITTER,
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS?
WELL, I...
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
EVERYBODY'S LITTERING.
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'D BETTER DO?
I'D JUST BETTER
WRITE YOU A CITATION.
LOOK, DEPUTY, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TAKE THIS FIVE BUCKS
AND WE'LL FORGET
THE WHOLE THING, OKAY?
ARE YOU TRYING TO BRIBE
AN OFFICER OF THE LAW?!
WELL, IT'S ONLY A FIN...
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TAKE THIS AND LET ME GO?
ALL RIGHT,
DROP IT RIGHT HERE!
NICE GOING, DEPUTY.
YES, SIR, NICE GOING.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT HAPPENED, BARNEY?
YOUR DEPUTY JUST
HELPED US NAIL EDDIE BROOKE.
WHAT?!
HE ESCAPED
FROM ATLANTA
YESTERDAY.
THREE-TIME LOSER
DOING 20 YEARS.
WE GOT HERE AS YOUR DEPUTY
THREW HIM TO THE GROUND.
HE-HE DID WHAT?
I-I -- UH...
BARNEY?
BARNEY, YOU
ALL RIGHT?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, THELMA LOU,
YOU CAN BE RIGHT PROUD
OF YOUR BOYFRIEND.
YOU SURE CAN.
YOU SURE CAN.
HE JUST HELPED CAPTURE
AN ESCAPED CRIMINAL.
HE WHAT?!
Andy: HE GOT HIM DOWN SO'S
THE TROOPERS COULD TAKE HIM.
BARNEY, HOW...
HOW'D IT HAPPEN?
UH, OH, WELL,
I-I'M NOT TOO SURE.
SEE, IT ALL
HAPPENED SO FAST.
HE-HE BEGAN TO... UH...
ALL RIGHT, BROOKE,
LET'S GET MOVING.
GOOD MAN THERE, SHERIFF.
I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS,
DEPUTY.
BARNEY, I'VE GOT
TO HAND IT TO YOU.
THAT BEATS ANYTHING
I EVER HEARD OF.
I SAW IT ALL
FROM MY STORE.
BARNEY NAILED HIM
WITH A FLYING TACKLE.
NOW, WHAT'D YOU
DO THEN, BARNEY?
WHAT'D HE DO?
HE CLIPPED HIM
WITH A SHORT RIGHT.
WHY, THAT PUNCH DIDN'T GO
NO FURTHER THAN A FOOT.
HEY, HEY, IT WAS
MORE THAN A PUNCH.
HE MUST HAVE USED
SOME OF THAT JUDO.
WHY, THAT FELLA
NEVER HAD A CHANCE.
AIN'T THAT
RIGHT, BARNEY?
BARNEY, I'M SO
PROUD OF YOU.
BUT... BUT YOU COULD
HAVE BEEN HURT.
YOU MIGHT HAVE
BEEN KILLED.
YEAH.
YEAH, BUT THEN AGAIN,
HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN HURT.
HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN KILLED.
YOU'RE A REAL HERO, BARNEY.
TOOK A LOT OF COURAGE.
WHAT ARE YOU SO SURPRISED ABOUT?
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
DEPUTY FIFE,
IT LOOKS LIKE TO ME
YOU'VE PUT IN
A GOOD DAY'S WORK ALREADY.
HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO TAKE THELMA LOU HERE
AND HAVE THE REST
OF THE AFTERNOON OFF?
OH, BARNEY, WILL YOU?
WELL, I'D LIKE TO, THELMA LOU,
BUT I DON'T GUESS I'D BETTER.
WHY NOT?
WELL, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW
WHEN ANOTHER BEAST
MIGHT COME DOWN
OUT OF THE FOREST.
YOU UNDERSTAND,
DON'T YOU, THELMA LOU?
WELL...
I REALLY DON'T
EXPECT YOU TO.
YOU SEE, THELMA LOU...
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL
THE DEADLY GAME.
I'M IN IT FOR KEEPS.
YOU START OUT TO GIVE A MAN
A TICKET FOR LITTERING
AND NEXT THING I KNOW,
WHY, YOU'RE THE TOAST
OF MAYBERRY.
WELL, I'LL ADMIT IT STARTED OUT
WITH LITTERING, BUT...
THE MINUTE I SEEN HIM CLOSE UP,
I KNEW THIS WAS BIGGER GAME.
OH, YOU DID, HUH?
YEAH, BOY...
HE SEEN ME CLOSING IN,
HE MADE HIS MOVE.
AND THAT'S WHEN
YOU GOT HIM?
HE NEVER HAD A CHANCE.
HOW'D YOU GET
HIM DOWN AGAIN?
I GIVE HIM THE OLD...
BODY BLOCK.
THE OLD BODY BLOCK?
YEAH, THAT'S WHERE YOU MAKE
A WEAPON OUT OF YOUR WHOLE BODY.
OH, IS THAT WHAT
YOUR BODY IS-- A WEAPON?
WHEN USED CORRECTLY.
YEAH, I TURNED MYSELF
INTO AN OBSTACLE.
SUDDENLY, I'M NO LONGER
BARNEY FIFE, THE MAN.
I'M BARNEY FIFE,
THE BULKHEAD.
I'LL BE DOGGED.
WELL!
MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ME
A LOOK AROUND TOWN.
NO TELLING WHAT
MIGHT BE COMING UP.
YOU KNOW, ANDY...
I NEVER THOUGHT
OUR TOWN WOULD COME TO THIS.
HMPH!
MAYBERRY--
GATEWAY TO DANGER.
HI, BARNEY.
HEY, HERE'S BARNEY.
YOU-ALL HEARD HOW BARNEY CAUGHT
THAT CROOK TODAY?
THREW HIMSELF IN FRONT OF HIM
AND BLOCKED HIM.
MADE A WEAPON
OUT OF MY WHOLE BODY.
HI, PA.
HI, OPE.
HEY, PA, SAY "DRAW!"
DRAW!
OOH.
YOU GOT ME.
YOU MUST BE THE FASTEST GUN
IN THE FIRST GRADE.
BARNEY'S BEEN TEACHING ME.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, PA?
THAT WAS A MIGHTY BRAVE THING
HE DONE TODAY,
CATCHING THAT CROOK.
SURE WAS.
PA, YOU SUPPOSE MAYBE BARNEY
WAS SCARED JUST A LITTLE BIT?
IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME.
A WHOLE LOT OF TIMES,
THAT'S THE WAY A FELLER
GETS TO BE A HERO --
BY BEING SCARED ENOUGH
TO DO SOMETHING BRAVE.
HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN SCARED, PA?
REALLY SCARED?
YEAH, BOY.
I REMEMBER ONE TIME WHEN I WAS
ABOUT YOUR AGE,
I CLIMBED OVER THIS FENCE
INTO THIS FARMER'S FIELD,
AND I COME FACE TO FACE
WITH A GREAT BIG OLD BULL.
AND HE HAD THE MEANEST
DISPOSITION
AND THE LONGEST HORNS.
WHAT'D YOU DO, PA?
OH, I'D SAY
ABOUT 60 MILES AN HOUR.
ANYTHING LESS, AND I MIGHT
HAVE HAD MY PRIDE PUNCTURED.
OPIE, I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
WE HAVE TO GET YOU
SOME NEW JEANS.
AGAIN? THAT BOY
GOES THROUGH BRITCHES
LIKE HE'S WEARING
SANDPAPER UNDERWEAR.
I KNOW.
WHERE'S BARNEY?
HE'S AT THE POST OFFICE.
I HAVEN'T CONGRATULATED
HIM YET.
THAT WAS A VERY BRAVE
THING HE DID TODAY.
IT SOUNDS
KIND OF FRIGHTENING.
IT REALLY WAS.
IT'S THE MOST EXCITING THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO BARNEY.
I'LL BET HE'S SO PROUD.
HE'S GOT REASON TO BE, TOO.
I'M PROUD OF HIM.
YOU KNOW, ANDY,
A THING LIKE THIS
HAPPENS SO SELDOM.
I THINK WE SHOULD CELEBRATE
IN SOME WAY.
WE GONNA HAVE A PARTY,
AUNT BEE?
LET'S SURPRISE HIM.
Opie:
OH, BOY,
A SURPRISE PARTY!
THAT'S AN OUTSTANDING IDEA,
AUNT BEE.
KEEP IT SMALL--
JUST US AND THELMA LOU.
OKAY.
MMM!
ANDY, NOW, STOP IT!
STOP IT!
ANDY, NOW, PLEASE!
YOU'RE WORSE
THAN OPIE.
WELL, I CAN'T HELP IT.
IT'S GOOD.
HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN
HERE TEN MINUTES AGO.
ANDY, ARE YOU SURE...
NOW, THELMA LOU,
JUST BE PATIENT.
HE'LL BE HERE.
HE'S JUST A FEW MINUTES LATE.
THERE'S THE POLICE CAR.
HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!
I'LL GET THE LIGHTS.
NOW, MAKE THAT SURPRISE GOOD
AND LOUD WHEN HE COMES IN.
COME IN.
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
OH, UH...
HOWDY, BOYS.
WE WAS EXPECTING
DEPUTY FIFE.
WHAT ARE YOU-ALL DOING
BACK IN TOWN?
WE LOOKED FOR YOU
DOWN AT THE COURTHOUSE.
SHERIFF, WE...
WELL, HI, EVERYBODY.
Andy:
HI, BARN.
WH-WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY
FOR YOU, BARNEY.
FOR ME?
Andy:
YEAH.
OH, MY GOSH.
WELL, DID YOU FELLAS
COME ALL THE WAY BACK
JUST FOR
MY SURPRISE PARTY?
NO, BUT WE DO HAVE
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
WE WERE HEADED
FOR THE CAPITAL
AND WE STOPPED AT A GAS STATION
AND BROOKE ESCAPED.
ESCAPED?!
GOT OUT THROUGH A WINDOW
IN THE RESTROOM.
Brooke:
I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, DEPUTY.
Andy:
BARNEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?
HUH?
I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, DEPUTY.
Brooke: ...DEPUTY.
BARNEY!
OH, UH...
HI, THELMA LOU.
UH... I WAS JUST, UH...
PRACTICING
MY QUICK DRAW.
BARNEY, I...
I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
WELL, SHUCKS,
THELMA LOU
THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
TO BE WORRIED ABOUT.
THERE'S A KILLER
ROAMIN' AROUND
WHO SWORE HE'D GET YOU.
BARNEY, I WISH
YOU'D DO ME A FAVOR
AND... AND LEAVE TOWN
FOR A FEW DAYS.
GOSH, THELMA LOU,
WHAT KIND OF A MAN
WOULD I BE
IF I RAN
FROM TROUBLE?
A LIVE ONE.
A MAN LIKE BROOKE
COULD DO ANYTHING.
COME ON, THELMA LOU.
GIVE THE MAN CREDIT
FOR SO INTELLIGENCE.
HE AIN'T GOING
TO BE STUPID ENOUGH
TO COME BACK HERE AND TANGLE
WITH OL' BARNEY FIFE.
SO, UH...
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST RUN ALONG
HOME, HUH?
OH, HI, THELMA LOU.
ANDY, I WISH YOU'D
MAKE BARNEY GO AWAY
FOR A FEW DAYS.
AW, SHUCKS, THELMA LOU
BARNEY'S GOT
THAT FELLA'S NUMBER.
Thelma Lou:
YOU SURE?
YEAH.
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
YOU TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF, BARNEY.
HELLO. SHERIFF'S OFFICE.
OH, HELLO, CAPTAIN.
YEAH.
YEAH.
WELL, MUCH OBLIGED
FOR LETTING US KNOW.
RIGHT, CAPTAIN. BYE.
WHAT WAS THAT?
THAT WAS CAPTAIN ARDELL,
STATE POLICE.
A MAN ANSWERING
BROOKE'S DESCRIPTION
WAS SEEN HEADED
TOWARD MAYBERRY
IN A STOLEN CAR.
BARNEY, MAYBE
THELMA LOU HAD SOMETHING
ABOUT YOU LEAVING TOWN
FOR A FEW DAYS.
OH, HELLO,
JOHNSON, MILLER.
CAPTAIN ARDELL
JUST CALLED AND SAID
THEY THINK BROOKE'S
HEADED THIS WAY.
WE SAW HIS CAR
ABANDONED BY A LAKE
OUTSIDE OF TOWN.
THAT'S IN THATCHER'S WOODS.
THAT'S JUST...
THREE MILES FROM HERE.
ARE YOU BOYS
WITH US?
UH... SURE THING.
WE'LL WAIT FOR YOU.
MAKE IT QUICK.
WELL, BARNEY?
LET'S GO.
LOAD UP.
BREAD AND BUTTER.
SEE ANYTHING, ANDY?
NOT YET.
A LOT OF PLACES
A MAN COULD HIDE
AROUND THIS LAKE.
YOU WAIT HERE, BARNEY.
WHERE YOU GOING?
I'M GONNA CLIMB
THIS TREE HERE
AND SEE IF I CAN GET
A BETTER VIEW FROM THE TOP.
GOOD IDEA.
CLIMB THAT TREE
AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET
A BETTER VIEW FROM THE TOP.
UH... I THOUGHT
I'D COME UP
AND HELP YOU LOOK.
MY EYES ARE 20/20,
YOU KNOW.
HEY, BARNEY,
WOULD YOU MIND
IF I STOP AND REST
A LITTLE WHILE?
I... I'M BUSHED.
YEAH, YOU GO AHEAD.
MAKE IT EASY
ON YOURSELF.
I'LL WAIT TILL YOU...
GET YOUR SECOND WIND.
OKAY.
SHERIFF TAYLOR
CALLING OFFICER JOHNSON.
SHERIFF TAYLOR CALLING
OFFICER JOHNSON, OVER.
NO, NARY A THING.
YOU-ALL SPOTTED
ANYTHING?
WELL, JUST...
JUST KEEP LOOKING.
WE'LL MEET YOU AFTER A WHILE
OVER AT THE OLD BARN.
OVER AND OUT.
THEY AIN'T SEEN
NOTHIN' EITHER,
NOT EVEN A FOOTPRINT.
IF THAT FELLA'S
IN THESE WOODS
HE'S BOUND TO BE SWINGING
FROM TREE TO TREE.
WHAT WAS THAT?
HE'S IN THERE, ANDY!
I KNOW HE IS!
NOW, JUST TAKE
IT EASY, BARNEY.
CAREFUL, ANDY.
HE'S A DANGEROUS KILLER.
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.
BARNEY, YOU HAD NO IDEA
IT WASN'T BROOKE.
I NOTICE
YOU DIDN'T DRAW.
WELL...
OH, WHAT'S THE USE
OF KIDDING, ANDY?
EVER SINCE I HEARD
BROOKE WAS ON THE LOOSE...
BARNEY,
IF WE'RE GOING
TO MEET THEM STATE
TROOPERS AT THE BARN
WE BETTER GET GOING.
ANDY, YESTERDAY,
WHEN I RUN INTO BROOKE...
I HOPE THEY CAN
FIND THAT OLD BARN.
WAIT, ANDY, THERE'S SOMETHING
I'D LIKE YOU TO KNOW
ABOUT THAT CAPTURE.
AIN'T GOING TO BE
MUCH LIGHT LEFT.
ANDY...
YOU COMING,
BARNEY?
OKAY.
MILLER, YOU
AND BARNEY CHECK
THE CHICKEN HOUSE
OVER THERE.
YOU KNOW, I BETTER
CHECK THAT LOFT.
UH... JOHNSON.
JOHNSON.
YEAH, SHERIFF?
YOU KNOW,
BROOKE'S TOO SMART
TO LET HIMSELF
BE TRAPPED IN A BARN.
NOW, WE'VE COVERED THE AREA
FROM THE LAKE
UP HERE TO THE BARN.
LET'S CIRCLE ON AROUND
FROM HERE
DOWN TO THE HIGHWAY.
I'M SURE GLAD
YOU KNOW THIS PART
OF THE COUNTRY, SHERIFF.
WELL, I OUGHT TO.
WHEN I WAS YOUNG
I SPENT MORE TIME AROUND HERE
THAN I DID WHEN
I WAS AT SCHOOL.
OH, SOMETHING ELSE
I'D LIKE TO DO, TOO.
I'D LIKE TO LEAVE
MY DEPUTY HERE.
I DON'T GET YOU,
SHERIFF.
WELL, IF BROOKE EVER
SPOTS BARNEY, LOOK OUT.
AND I CAN'T BLAME HIM.
IF IT HADN'T
BEEN FOR BARNEY,
YOU ALL MIGHT NOT HAVE CAUGHT
BROOKE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
YEAH. WELL, IT'S
A GOOD THING HE'S NOT ARMED.
YEAH. COME ON.
LET ME HAVE THAT WALKIE-TALKIE.
I'LL GIVE THAT TO BARNEY.
HEY, BARNEY!
YOU WANT ME, ANDY?
HEY, BARNEY, LISTEN.
I GOT AN IMPORTANT JOB FOR YOU.
THIS HERE BARN IS GOING TO BE
COMMUNICATIONS CENTER
AND YOU'RE IN CHARGE.
OH. WELL,
DON'T YOU... DON'T...
DON'T YOU THINK
I'D BE MORE HELP
OUT THERE
WITH THE FELLAS?
OH, NO. YOU'D BE MUCH MORE
VALUABLE RIGHT HERE.
KEEP IN TOUCH, NOW.
UH... DEPUTY FIFE
CALLING SHERIFF TAYLOR. OVER.
HI, ANDY.
ANY NEWS?
WELL, YEAH.
YEAH, I KNOW.
I KNOW YOU JUST LEFT.
I THOUGHT MAYBE...
MAYBE YOU RAN INTO SOMETHING.
UH... 10-4.
DON'T SHOOT!
I AIN'T GOT NO GUN!
BARNEY,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
THE DEPUTY
GOT HIM.
HE DONE IT AGAIN.
HOW'D YOU DO IT, BARNEY?
HOW'D YOU NAIL HIM?
DID HE RUSH YOU?
WELL, SAY SOMETHING.
WELL, WHAT'S
THE MATTER, BARNEY?
I SWALLOWED MY GUM.
OKAY, BARNEY.
I'M SORRY YOU GOT NIGHT DUTY.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
ANDY.
HEY, DID YOU SEE THE LOOK
ON THAT BROOKE'S FACE
WHEN THOSE TWO TROOPERS
TOOK HIM AWAY THE SECOND TIME?
YEAH. DON'T FORGET TO PUT
THE LATCH ON THE BACK DOOR.
BOY, HE SURE WAS --
I GOT TO GO, BARNEY.
GOOD NIGHT.
YEAH. UH...
NIGHT.
Now, make that surprise
good and loud.
Ready?
All: SURPRISE!
EASY, TIGER.
IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY,
BARNEY!
LOOK AT ALL THIS
GOOD STUFF.
HI!
OH, YOU DIDN'T
HAVE TO DO THIS.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
WHAT ARE YOU TWO FELLAS
DOING HERE?
DON'T TELL ME THAT BROOKE'S
ON HIS WAY BACK!
OH, NOT ON YOUR LIFE.
NOT WITH OLD TIGER FIFE AROUND.
NOW LET'S HEAR IT
FOR BARNEY.
All: * WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH BARNEY? *
* HE'S ALL RIGHT!