The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 1, Episode 23 - Andy and Opie, Housekeepers - full transcript

After scolding Opie and Andy for being so messy around the house, Aunt Bee gets a call from cousin Edgar to help out with Maude, who got the "versitis." Bee leaves for Mt. Pilot, reluctantly, the next morning but worries that Andy and Opie won't be able to survive without her. In just a couple of days the house becomes a pig sty. Bee calls to say she will be returning by the afternoon bus so Andy and Opie hurry to clean up the house and finish with time to spare. When Opie says Aunt Bee will be happy when she finds out they can get along without her, Andy realizes they made a terrible mistake and they mess up the house again. Miss Edwards sees the mess and cleans everything up while Andy and Opie are picking up Aunt Bee. Returning home and seeing how neat it is, Bee does think they can get along without her and is on the verge of tears. Andy and Opie quickly start messing up the house again and she catches them and thinks they are trying to clean up and scolds them, puts on her apron and goes to work.

OPIE, WHAT IN THE WORLD
ARE YOU DOING?

COLORING.

WHAT?

THE HOUSE, THE RUG,
OR YOURSELF?

HUH?

LOOK. LOOK
AT THE MESS

YOU'VE JUST MADE.

WHERE?

THIS ROOM LOOKS
AS IF A CYCLONE HIT IT.

I DECLARE, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH YOU.

WHAT'S HE DONE NOW, AUNT BEE?



WHAT'S HE DONE?
THIS BOY IS FAR AND AWAY

THE SLOPPIEST, MESSIEST BOY
I EVER SAW IN ALL MY BORN DAYS.

HE HASN'T GOT
THE FAINTEST
NOTION OF ORDER

OR PUTTING THINGS
WHERE THEY BELONG.

OPIE, YOU OUGHT
TO BE ASHAMED

MAKING A MESS
LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW BETTER
THAN THAT.

HOW DO YOU THINK
IT MAKES ME FEEL

HAVING YOUR
AUNT BEE SAY

YOU'RE THE SLOPPIEST,
MESSIEST BOY SHE EVER SAW?

ANDY.

ANDY, I TAKE IT ALL BACK.

HE'S NOT THE SLOPPIEST,
MESSIEST BOY I'VE EVER SEEN.

HE'S THE SECOND SLOPPIEST,
MESSIEST.



WHAT?

HE CAN'T BE FIRST
AS LONG AS YOU'RE AROUND.

ME?

YES, YOU.

LOOK AT THE MESS
YOU'VE MADE.

GOSH, PA, YOU'RE
CATCHING IT, TOO.

YEAH.

IF IT WASN'T FOR ME,

THIS HOUSE WOULDN'T BE FIT
TO LIVE IN.

THIS ISN'T
A LIVING ROOM.

THIS IS A COMBINATION
CLOSET, WAREHOUSE,

WASTEPAPER BASKET,
AND STOREROOM.

AND IF YOU THINK YOUR BEDROOMS
UPSTAIRS ARE ANY BETTER,

YOU'RE VERY MUCH MISTAKEN.

AND AS FOR YOU, YOUNG MAN

THE NEXT TIME YOU TAKE

A PEANUT-BUTTER-AND-JELLY
SANDWICH TO YOUR ROOM

AND YOU DON'T FINISH IT,

WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING IT
ON THE NIGHT TABLE

INSTEAD OF
UNDER YOUR PILLOW?

OH, SO THAT'S
WHERE IT WENT.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

OH, NEVER MIND,
NEVER MIND.

I'LL ANSWER IT.
I'LL ANSWER IT.

HELLO?

LONG DISTANCE?

LONG DISTANCE.

HELLO?

OH! OH, HELLO, EDGAR.

COUSIN EDGAR.

HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU?

WHAT?

OH, OF COURSE.
OF COURSE, EDGAR.

AS SOON AS I CAN.

OF COURSE, EDGAR.
WHAT ARE KINFOLK FOR?

THE FIRST THING
IN THE MORNING.

RIGHT. BYE, EDGAR.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH EDGAR?

IT'S MAUDE.

SHE SLEPT WITH HER NECK
IN A CRANE,

THE WINDOW WAS OPEN,
AND SHE GOT THE BURSITIS.

OH, THE BURSITIS.

POOR THING.
SHE SUFFERS WITH IT SO BAD.

WELL, THE DOCTOR SAID
IT WASN'T TOO BAD.

SHE JUST HAS TO STAY IN BED
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

I TOLD HIM I'D GO OVER
AND HELP OUT.

WELL, OF COURSE,
YOU CAN.

SO I LEAVE FIRST THING
IN THE MORNING

AND I STAY JUST
AS LONG AS...

OH, MY GOODNESS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

MY HEAVENS,
WHAT'S THIS PLACE

GOING TO LOOK LIKE
WHEN I GET BACK?

HOW ARE YOU TWO
GOING TO MANAGE

WHILE I'M GONE?

WHO'S GOING TO FEED YOU?

WHO'S GOING TO TELL OPIE
WHEN TO TAKE A BATH?

AND WHO'S GOING TO SEE
THAT YOU GET

TWO GREEN VEGETABLES
AND ONE YELLOW?

WHO'S GOING TO DO
THE SHOPPING FOR YOU?

WHO'S GOING TO COOK
THE SUNDAY DINNER?

[ HORN HONKING ]

BARNEY'S READY
TO DRIVE YOU

TO THE BUS STATION.

WHO'S GOING
TO DO THE DISHES?

ME AND OPIE'LL DO THE DISHES.
DON'T WORRY.

NOW, HURRY UP--
YOU'LL MISS THE BUS.

ANDY, SEE THAT OPIE
TAKES A BATH EVERY NIGHT.

OPIE, SEE
THAT YOUR FATHER

HANGS UP HIS CLOTHES
WHEN HE COMES HOME.

I'LL DO IT.

ANDY, DON'T LET HIM TAKE
FOOD TO HIS ROOM

AND IF HE DOES,
LOOK UNDER HIS PILLOW.

NOW, OPIE, I WANT YOU

TO CHANGE YOUR SOCKS
EVERY MORNING,

BRUSH YOUR TEETH, AND WASH
YOUR HANDS AFTER EVERY MEAL

AND EAT ALL OF YOUR...

MAYBE I'D
BETTER NOT GO, HMM?

AUNT BEE, YOU'VE
GOT TO GO.

YES, I SUPPOSE SO.

WELL...

GOOD-BYE, ANDY.

BYE.

GOOD-BYE,
OPIE, DARLING.

I CAN'T GO.

I JUST CAN'T GO.

OH, AUNT BEE,
PLEASE.

OH, DEAR... OH, DEAR.

NOW, COME ON.

OH, YOU POOR BOY.

HAVE A GOOD TRIP.

BYE, ANDY.

BYE, OPIE.

BYE, AUNT BEE.

HAVE A GOOD TRIP!

BYE!
BYE!

BYE!
BYE!

BOY, SHE SURE DOES GO ON,
DON'T SHE, PA?

WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE
SHE LOVES US, OPIE,

AND SHE WORRIES ABOUT US.

WANTING US TO BE HEALTHY
AND COMFORTABLE

AND WELL TAKEN CARE OF.

YEAH, BUT IT SURE IS
GOING TO BE NICE

TO BE A MESSER-UPPER
AGAIN FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

NO, YOU AIN'T,
AND NO, I AIN'T.

COME ON.

NO, SIR! WE'RE GOING TO BE
NICE AND NEAT AND ORDERLY

JUST LIKE AUNT BEE
WANTS US TO BE.

WE ARE?
YES, SIR.

AND WE'RE GOING TO START
RIGHT HERE IN THE KITCHEN

AND WASH THESE DISHES

JUST LIKE I PROMISED
AUNT BEE.

WHY? SHE AIN'T
GOING TO BE HERE

TO YELL AT US.

WELL, NOW, YOU ARE
LOOKING AT IT WRONG.

SEE, THAT'S LIKE SAYING
YOU MILK A COW

TO GET STRONG FINGERS.

THAT'S THE WRONG WAY
TO LOOK AT IT.

WE AIN'T GOING TO BE
NICE AND NEAT AND ORDERLY

TO PLEASE AUNT BEE.

WE'RE GOING TO BE
NICE AND NEAT AND ORDERLY

BECAUSE THAT'S
THE RIGHT WAY TO DO THINGS.

NOW, I'LL WASH THEM,
AND YOU PUT THEM AWAY.

ALL RIGHT?

[ HUMMING ]

RIGHT OVER THERE.

NOW, GET THAT
ONE ALL READY.

[ WHISTLING ]

THERE YOU ARE,
ANOTHER ONE.

OPIE? DON'T
YOU THINK

IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA

IF YOU WAS TO DRY THEM
BEFORE YOU PUT THEM AWAY?

I WAVE THEM A LITTLE
BEFORE I PUT THEM IN--

LIKE THIS.

THAT AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
WIPE THEM.

THAT THERE REALLY IS
HARD TO GET CLEAN.

I BETTER JUST SAVE IT
TILL I GET MORE TIME.

YEAH, BOY,
AUNT BEE REALLY

IS GOING TO BE PLEASED
WHEN SHE SEES HOW CLEAN

AND SPIC AND SPAN
EVERYTHING IS.

I THOUGHT WE WASN'T DOING IT
TO PLEASE AUNT BEE.

OH, WELL, THERE'S NO HARM

IN KILLING TWO BIRDS
WITH ONE STONE, IS THERE?

NO, BUT IF I'M GOING TO BE
NICE AND NEAT AND ORDERLY,

I SURE WOULD LIKE
TO HAVE A GOOD REASON.

I TOLD YOU THE REASON.

NOT WITH YOUR SLEEVE.

OH.

AND NOT WITH YOUR
HANDKERCHIEF EITHER.

LOOK HERE-- SEE THAT?

GREAT INVENTION.

DISH TOWEL. TRY THAT.

[ PLATE SHATTERS ]

OPIE!

I COULDN'T HELP IT, PA.

IT JUST
KIND OF SLIPPED AWAY FROM ME.

WELL, ALL RIGHT,
BUT NEXT TIME YOU BREAK ONE,

I SURELY WOULD APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU'D BREAK IT

BEFORE I GO TO ALL THE TROUBLE
OF WASHING IT.

OKAY, PA, I'LL TRY.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

HELLO.

YEAH. YEAH.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

I'LL BE THERE.

OPIE...

I GOT TO LEAVE.

SOMEBODY KNOCKED DOWN
THE STOP SIGN

OVER AT SPRING STREET,

AND I GOT TO GO
OVER THERE AND FIX IT.

WHAT ABOUT THE
DISHES, PA?

I'LL GET THEM
FIRST CHANCE I GET.

I TELL YOU WHAT
YOU CAN DO --

YOU CAN PICK UP
YOUR ROOM A LITTLE

BEFORE YOU GO TO SCHOOL.

OKAY, PA.
DON'T BE LATE, NOW.

I WON'T, PA.

BYE.
BYE.

HEY, OPIE!

Opie: JIMMY?

YEAH!
READY TO GO?

IN A MINUTE.

I'M IN MY ROOM.
COME ON UP!

OPIE?

YEAH, I'M UNDER HERE.

BOY, YOU'RE THE LITTLEST GHOST
I EVER SAW.

JUST A MINUTE, JIMMY.
I GOT TO MAKE UP MY BED.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

FIXIN' UP MY ROOM.

WHY?

'CAUSE IT'S MESSY,
I GUESS.

LOOKS OKAY TO ME.

ME TOO, BUT I GUESS GROWNUPS
SEE THINGS WE DON'T.

COULD I HELP YOU?
SURE!

YOU KNOW, CLEANING UP
YOUR ROOM CAN BE FUN.

THERE, THAT LOOKS
GOOD ENOUGH.

LET'S GET THE BLANKET.

HEY, OPIE,
LOOK AT THIS.

AW, THAT AIN'T NOTHIN'.
LOOK AT THIS.

THAT AIN'T SO GOOD.

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW.

I CAN DO IT BETTER
THIS TIME.

WATCH THIS.

OPIE, COME ON.

LET'S GET
A LITTLE BREAKFAST.

OKAY, PA.

LET'S GO.

WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THIS PLACE?

JUST LOOK AT IT!

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH IT, PA?

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH IT?

LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH
OF PIGS BEEN THROUGH HERE.

NO, PA. JUST US.

THAT'S RIGHT.
JUST US PIGS.

YOU AND ME.
AIN'T THAT A SHAME?

AUNT BEE GONE
JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS

AND THIS PLACE LOOKS
WORSE THAN A PIG PEN.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO, PA?

WELL, WE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING.

WE GONNA HAVE TO TIDY UP

AND PICK UP
AND POLISH

AND SWEEP AND VACUUM AND DUST
AND PUT THINGS AWAY AND...

ONLY LET'S NOT DO IT RIGHT NOW.

GOOD!

LET'S GET SOME
BREAKFAST FIRST.

IT REALLY DON'T LOOK
SO BAD, PA.

YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.
[ CHUCKLES ]

WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THIS KITCHEN?!

PIGS BEEN IN HERE, TOO,
PA?

SURELY DOES
LOOK LIKE IT.

WE GONNA HAVE TO GET BUSY
IN HERE, TOO.

WE GONNA HAVE TO SWEEP
AND MOP AND PICK UP

AND WASH THESE DISHES
AND PUT 'EM AWAY

AND WASH THE POTS
AND PANS...

ONLY LET'S NOT DO IT RIGHT NOW.

GOOD!
LET'S GET
SOME BREAKFAST FIRST.

OKAY, PA.

ALL RIGHT, NOW,
YOU GET SOME DISHES

AND SET THE TABLE
AND I'LL WHIP UP

A BATCH
OF BACON AND EGGS.

PA, THERE AIN'T NO PLATES
TO SET THE TABLE WITH.

OH.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO DO, OPIE?

WHAT, PA?

GO OVER TO MRS. EDWARDS'
AND BORROW SOME DISHES.

HOW MANY?

WELL, LET'S SEE,
GET TWO BIG PLATES

AND A CUP AND A SAUCER
AND A GLASS

AND GET SOME KNIVES
AND FORKS AND SPOONS

AND TWO FRYING PANS --

ONE FOR THE BACON
AND ONE FOR THE EGGS.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
WAIT A MINUTE.

HELLO?

LONG... LONG DISTANCE?

IT'S LONG DISTANCE.

MUST BE AUNT BEE CALLING
FROM MOUNT PILOT.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ Loudly ] HELLO!

HELLO, ANDY?

IT'S ME, AUNT BEE,
CALLING FROM MOUNT PILOT.

IT'S AUNT BEE CALLING
FROM MOUNT PILOT.

HELLO!
I'M FINE, JUST FINE.

HE'S FINE, JUST FINE.

HE'S STANDING HERE
RIGHT BESIDE OF ME.

YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM?

COME HERE, OPIE.

SAY HELLO TO YOUR AUNT BEE.

[ Loudly ] HI, AUNT BEE!
HOW ARE YA?

I am fine.

HERE'S PA AGAIN!

HELLO?

HELLO, ANDY.
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

Is everything in order?

IN ORDER? UH, WELL, OF COURSE
EVERYTHING'S IN ORDER.

MM-HMM. I CAN IMAGINE.

The living room is a mess
with papers and clothes and toys

and the kitchen's even worse.

The sink is piled high
with pots and pans.

Come on, now, tell the truth.

That's what it's like, isn't it?

UH, WELL...
WELL, NO, AUNT BEE.

EVERYTHING'S JUST FINE
AND DANDY.

Mm-hmm.

I CALLED TO TELL YOU

MAUDE'S FEELING MUCH BETTER.

I'LL BE COMING HOME
BY THE AFTERNOON BUS.

OH, WELL, THAT'S FINE,
AUNT BEE.

WE CERTAINLY ARE LOOKING...

THIS AFTERNOON?

Yes. Why?

OH, N-NOTHING.

WE'LL MEET YOU
AT THE BUS STATION. BYE.

Bye.

[ GROANS ]

OPIE, AUNT BEE'S COMING IN
THIS AFTERNOON.

SHE IS?!

YEAH. I TOLD HER

EVERYTHING WAS IN ORDER.

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT SHE'S GOING
TO SAY WHEN SHE SEES THE PLACE?

UH-HUH. SHE'LL SAY, "LAND SAKES
ALIVE, LOOK AT THIS HOUSE!

"JUST LOOK AT IT!

IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, THIS HOUSE
WOULDN'T BE FIT TO LIVE IN."

YEAH.

WE WOULDN'T WANT HER
TO SAY THAT, WOULD WE?

NO.

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET BUSY THEN.

YOU GET YOUR ROOM,
I'LL GET THE KITCHEN

AND WE'LL BOTH GET
THE LIVING ROOM.

OKAY, PA.

OKAY. OH, AND, OPIE.
YES, PA?

IF THE UNDERSIDE
OF YOUR PILLOW

LOOKS LIKE A PEANUT-BUTTER
AND JELLY SANDWICH,

DON'T JUST SCRAPE
IT OFF. CHANGE IT.

I WILL, PA.

THAT'S A MIGHTY FINE JOB
YOU DID ON YOUR ROOM, OPIE.

SURE IS, PA.

WE REALLY DID IT,
DIDN'T WE?

SURE DID, PA.

YEAH, THIS PLACE
LOOKS NEAT AS A PIN.

SURE DOES, PA.

IT MAKES YOU
FEEL GOOD, DON'T IT?

KIND OF A WARM FEELING

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF YOUR STOMACH...

LIGHTNESS
AROUND YOUR HEART...

YOUR HEAD TWO OR THREE FEET
ABOVE YOUR SHOULDERS.

YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE FEELING
THAT WAY, DON'T YOU, BOY?

'CAUSE I'M POOPED.

NAW, WE FEEL GOOD
'CAUSE WE KNOW HOW HAPPY

IT'S GOING TO MAKE AUNT BEE
WHEN SHE SEES WHAT WE DONE.

YEAH. BOY, IS SHE
GOING TO BE HAPPY

WHEN SHE FINDS OUT

WE CAN GET ALONG
PRETTY GOOD WITHOUT HER.

YEAH. BOY,
SHE'LL LOOK AROUND

SHE'LL SEE THIS PLACE
AND HOW CLEAN...

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID HOW
HAPPY SHE'LL BE

WHEN SHE FINDS OUT

WE CAN GET ALONG
WITHOUT HER.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
I THOUGHT YOU SAID.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, PA?

I THINK WE MADE
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, SON.

WE DID, PA? HOW?

WELL, LET'S SEE...
HOW CAN I EXPLAIN IT TO YOU?

OH, OH... WHICH ONE
WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE--

IF I WAS TO SAY TO YOU

"OPIE, DO THIS
AND DO THAT"--

'CAUSE I NEEDED YOUR HELP?

OR IF I WAS TO SAY,
"OPIE, I DON'T NEED YOU"?

PA, YOU DO,
TOO, NEED ME.

WELL, OF COURSE I DO.

THE POINT IS,
YOU WANT TO BE NEEDED, SEE?

AND SO DOES AUNT BEE,
AND SO DOES EVERYBODY ELSE.

AND SEE, THAT'S WHERE
WE MADE OUR BIG MISTAKE--

BY GETTING THIS PLACE
ALL SPIC AND SPAN

WE'RE GOING TO GIVE
AUNT BEE THE FEELING

THAT SHE AIN'T NEEDED.

YOU, UH... YOU KNOW
WHAT WE GOT TO DO, BOY?

WE GOT TO MESS
THIS PLACE UP AGAIN?

THAT'S RIGHT. WE GOT
TO LET THEM PIGS BACK IN HERE.

OKAY, PA. HERE GOES.

PHEW! YOU KNOW, IT'S
NEAR 'BOUT AS TIRING

TO MESS A PLACE UP
AS IT IS TO UNMESS IT.

YEAH, BUT IT SURE
IS A LOT MORE FUN.

WE BETTER GET ON DOWN
TO THE BUS STATION.

AUNT BEE'S ABOUT DUE IN.

YES, SIR, WE SURELY
DID A MIGHTY FINE JOB.

AIN'T IT
A DINGER, PA?

YES, SIR.
[ CHUCKLES ]

Miss Edwards: HI, ANDY.

HEY, MISS EDWARDS.
HOW ARE YOU?

MORNING, OPIE.
I'M JUST FINE, ANDY.

OH, I STOPPED BY TO SEE
WHEN BEE'S COMING BACK.

AIN'T THAT
A COINCIDENCE?

WE'RE ON OUR WAY
TO THE BUS STATION TO MEET HER.

STOP BY THIS EVENING
AND SAY HELLO TO HER.

I'LL DO THAT.

YOU'LL EXCUSE US?
WE'LL BE LATE.

SURE.
BYE.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

OH! DID YOU EVER
SEE SUCH A HOUSE?

POOR BEE.

WELL...

ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, YOUNG'UN.

OH, AUNT BEE,
WE SURELY DID MISS YOU.

WE SURELY DID.

YES, SIR, AUNT BEE,
WE SURELY DID MISS YOU.

DID YOU MISS US?

OH, TERRIBLY,
AND I WORRIED ABOUT YOU, TOO,

BUT YOUR PA TOLD ME
OVER THE PHONE

HOW WELL YOU WERE MANAGING.

WELL, I'M GLAD.

I ONLY HOPE
I CAN GET THE DOOR OPEN.

OH, AUNT BEE,
BEFORE YOU GO IN

I DIDN'T GET
TOO MUCH TIME TO CLEAN UP.

OH, NOW, STOP WORRYING.

WE'LL CLEAN IT UP
WITH A MOP AND A PAIL

AND A BULLDOZER.

WELL...

I'M SORRY, AUNT BEE.

WE REALLY SHOULD
HAVE TAKEN TIME TO, UH...

WHY... IT LOOKS FINE.

JUST FINE.

IT'S WONDERFUL

THE WAY YOU'VE MANAGED.

WHY, THE HOUSE
LOOKS AS GOOD...

BETTER THAN I COULD
HAVE DONE MYSELF.

THAT AIN'T
OUR FAULT.

WE WENT THROUGH...

NOW, DON'T
BE MODEST, OPIE.

YOU AND YOUR PA
DID A FINE JOB.

WELL, I GUESS
I COULD HAVE STAYED

AT COUSIN EDGAR'S
A LITTLE LONGER

SEEING HOW WELL YOU
GOT ALONG WITHOUT ME.

WE... WE DIDN'T
REALLY GET ALONG

WITHOUT YOU,
AUNT BEE.

OH, YES.
YES, YOU DID, ANDY.

THE HOUSE LOOKS
JUST BEAUTIFUL.

MAKES ME VERY HAPPY.

I'M... I'M SO PROUD
OF YOU BOYS.

I'M... I'M SO PROUD
AND HAPPY THAT...

I COULD...

AUNT BEE, WE DIDN'T
GET ALONG THAT GOOD.

REALLY, WE DIDN'T.

WE'RE KIND
OF SURPRISED, TOO.

I... I MEAN...

[ OBJECT FALLS UPSTAIRS ]

WHAT WAS THAT?

WHAT WAS WHAT?

THAT NOISE.

WHAT NOISE?

WHAT NOISE?

ANDY, YOU HEARD THAT
AS WELL AS I DID.

IT SOUNDS AS IF
IT'S COMING FROM OPIE'S ROOM.

AUNT BEE, DON'T GO
UP THERE JUST YET.

WHY NOT?

WELL, OPIE'S ROOM
MIGHT BE A MESS

AND HE MIGHT BE
TRYING TO PICK IT UP

BEFORE YOU SEE IT.

WHAT WOULD
HE DO THAT FOR?

WHAT AM I HERE FOR?

OPIE, YOU STOP WHATEVER
THAT IS YOU'RE DOING!

OPIE, YOU KEEP A-GOING!

AH! THOUGHT YOU COULD
GET IT OUT OF THERE

WITHOUT MY SEEING IT,
DID YOU?

NO, I THOUGHT...

YOU THOUGHT YOU'D TRY
TO PUT SOMETHING OVER ON ME.

WHY, JUST LOOK AT THIS ROOM!

[ DISHES SHATTER ]

YOUR FATHER, HE'S TRYING
TO CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN.

AHA! CAUGHT YOU
RED-HANDED, TOO, DIDN'T I?

OH, I GUESS
YOU DID, AUNT BEE.

LOOK AT THIS PLACE!

JUST LOOK AT IT!

I'M SORRY, BUT WHEN
YOU CALLED TO SAY

YOU WAS COMING IN
THIS AFTERNOON

ME AND OPIE
JUST HAD TIME

TO DO THE PARLOR.

YOU THOUGHT YOU'D CLEAN UP
THE REST BEHIND MY BACK.

A BODY WOULD HAVE TO GET UP
MIGHTY EARLY IN THE MORNING

TO PUT ONE OVER ON BEE TAYLOR.

YES, SIR,
A BODY SURELY WOULD.

LAND SAKES ALIVE!

LOOK AT THIS ROOM!

JUST LOOK AT...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

WITH THE TWO OF YOU.

YOU'RE HELPLESS,
ABSOLUTELY HELPLESS.

IF IT WASN'T FOR ME,
THIS HOUSE WOULDN'T

BE FIT TO LIVE IN.

IT'S A GOOD THING

I DIDN'T STAY
WITH MAUDE LONGER.

I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
ABLE TO GET INTO THE HOUSE.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN
OR WHERE TO BEGIN.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME IN.

YOO-HOO! BEE!

HELLO, BERTHA.

HELLO, BEE.
HELLO, ANDY.

HEY, MISS EDWARDS.

OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU
HOME AGAIN, BEE.

IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU, BERTHA.

COME ON OVER HERE
AND SIT DOWN.

WELL...

HOW DID YOU
FIND THE HOUSE

WHEN YOU GOT HOME, BEE?

THE HOUSE? OH, BERTHA,
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

IT LOOKED AS IF
IT HADN'T SEEN
A DUST MOP OR A BROOM

SINCE THE DAY I LEFT.
WHAT?

WORSE. IT LOOKED
AS IF IT HAD BEEN

TAKEN CARE OF
BY SOMEBODY

WHO WOULD BE MORE
AT HOME IN A PIGPEN.

WELL...

WELL!

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

WHAT DID I SAY
THAT WAS WRONG?