The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 1, Episode 1 - The New Housekeeper - full transcript

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD.

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

ANYBODY HERE KNOW WHY THESE TWO
SHOULD NOT BE WED,

SPEAK NOW
OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN --

I KNOW WHY THEY
SHOULDN'T BE MARRIED.

OPIE, WHAT ARE YOU
TRYIN' TO DO?

I'M SPEAKIN' NOW

SO'S I WON'T HAVE TO
FOREVER HOLD MY PEACE.

YOU AIN'T
SUPPOSED TO SPEAK.



THEN WHY DID HE ASK?

WELL, IT'S JUST PART
OF THE CEREMONY, OPIE.

YOU ALWAYS SAY, "SPEAK,"
BUT NOBODY EVER DOES.

WELL, I'M GONNA.

WHY DID SHE HAVE TO
MARRY HIM FOR, ANYWAY?

THINGS WAS GOIN' REAL WELL.

ROSE IS THE BEST HOUSEKEEPER
WE EVER HAD.

TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW.

I'M MARRYIN' MR. PINE
BECAUSE I LOVE HIM.

I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME.

I DO, OPIE.

YOU DON'T CATCH ME
MARRYIN' SOMEBODY ELSE.

DON'T YOU FRET.

YOU'RE NOT
LOSIN' ME FOREVER.



I'LL COME BACK
AND VISIT A LOT.

BE A GOOD BOY AND TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF, HEAR?

DON'T YOU GO
RUNNIN' ACROSS THAT STREET

IN YOUR STOCKING FEET.

AND IN THE MORNING,
EAT ALL YOUR CEREAL

AND DON'T LEAVE
HALF THE MILK.

OKAY, I WON'T LEAVE
HALF THE MILK.

I'LL LEAVE ALL THE MILK.

NOW, OPIE, THAT'S ENOUGH.

NOW, OPIE, I'M YOUR PA,
AND I'M TELLIN' YOU TO HUSH UP.

WELL, YOU TOLD ME
I COULD SPEAK NOW

OR FOREVER HOLD MY PEACE.

WELL, NOW I'M TELLIN' YOU
IF YOU DON'T HUSH UP,

YOU'LL BE FOREVER HOLDIN'
THE SEAT OF YOUR BRITCHES.

IF HE STARTS TO WHEEZIN' --

NOW, ROSE, OPIE'S
NOT YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE.

WELL, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, AUNT BEE'S A-COMIN'
AND HE'LL BE TOOK CARE OF.

I KNOW, BUT SHE ISN'T
DUE HERE FOR SEVERAL DAYS.

ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANT ME TO STAY ON?

YEAH!

WHAT'S THIS?

NOTHIN', WILBUR.
JUST NOTHIN' AT ALL.

NOW, ROSE, YOU KNOW
YOU CAN'T SEND WILBUR

OFF ON A HONEYMOON BY HIMSELF.

WHY, THAT WOULD BE
LIKE PUTTIN' A PIG IN A STY

AND TAKIN' AWAY THE MUD.

YEAH.

SEEMS TO ME
THERE'S SOMETHIN' WRONG

WITH THE WAY YOU PUT THAT.

WELL, HURRY UP, ANDY.

WE GOT A LONG TRIP
AHEAD OF US.

WELL, NOW,
JUST DON'T GET TOO EXCITED.

WE DIDN'T FINISH
THE "I DO"s YET.

OH, WELL, WE DO.

GET YOUR RING ALL SET.
GET READY, BARNEY.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

UNDER, UH -- UNDER THE --

THEY ASK YOU TO SPEAK UP,

THEN THEY WON'T LET YOU
SPEAK UP.

HUSH UP, OPIE.
UNDER THE POWER --

FIRST THEY TELL YOU
TO SPEA UP,

THEN THEY TELL YOU
TO HUSH UP.

NOW, OPIE.

UNDER THE POWER --

JUST 'CAUSE I'M LITTLE,
NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME.

QUIET!

UNDER THE POWER INVESTED IN ME

AS JUSTICE OF THE PEACE
IN MAYBERRY,

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE.

GIVE HER A LITTLE KISSY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

GET READY, NOW.
GET READY, GET READY.

GET YOUR HANDFUL.
GET YOU SOME, OPIE.

HA HA!

OPIE!

NOT THE BOX,
JUST THE CONTENTS.

AND UNDERHAND.
UNDERHAND.

THAT'S RIGHT.

HI, PA. DIDN'T ROSE
CALL OR NOTHIN'?

WELL, NO, AND
SHE AIN'T LIKELY TO CALL.

SEE, SHE'S
ON HER HONEYMOON.

AND BESIDES THAT, AUNT BEE
WILL BE COMIN' PRETTY SOON.

THAT WILL BE
JUST LIKE HAVIN' ROSE HERE.

WILL NOT. IT WON'T BE
ANYTHING LIKE IT.

NOBODY'S LIKE ROSE.

WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, TOO,
I RECKON.

BUT THEN AGAIN,

THERE AIN'T NOBODY
LIKE AUNT BEE, EITHER.

WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT HER?

WHAT DID SHE EVER DO?

WELL, ONE THING,
SHE RAISED ME

WHEN I WASN'T
NO BIGGER THAN YOU.

DONE A PRETTY GOOD JOB, TOO,
WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

THAT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT SHE'LL RAISE ME GOOD.

WELL, NOW,
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.

SHE'LL RAISE YOU JUST FINE.

AND SHE'LL LOVE YOU
JUST LIKE SHE LOVED ME.

AND WHOO-WHEE!
THAT'S A MESS OF LOVIN'.

SHE USED TO SQUEEZE ME
SO HARD I'D TURN ALL COLORS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I WAS THE MOST LOVED
PURPLE BABY YOU EVER SAW.

I DON'T CARE.

I AIN'T GONNA LOVE HER.

NOW, OPIE, I WANT YOU
TO STOP SAYIN' THAT.

WELL, I WON'T.

I AIN'T GONNA LOVE
NO ONE 'SIDES ROSE.

DEPUTY BARNEY FIFE
REPORTING, SIR,

WITH AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE.

BARNEY, I'VE TOLD YOU
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

THIS AIN'T THE ARMY.
IT'S JUST ME AND YOU.

AW, SHUCKS, ANDY. I WANT
TO DO GOOD ON THIS JOB.

EVEN IF IT'S JUST
DELIVERIN' MESSAGES,

I WANNA DO IT RIGHT.

I KNOW YOU DO,
AND I ADMIRE YOUR ATTITUDE.

YOU SEE, ANDY, I WANT
THE FOLKS IN THIS TOWN

TO REALIZE
THAT YOU PICKED ME

TO BE YOUR DEPUTY
BECAUSE YOU --

WELL, YOU LOOKED OVER ALL
THE CANDIDATES FOR THE JOB,

AND YOU JUDGED
THEIR QUALIFICATIONS

AND THEIR CHARACTER
AND THEIR ABILITY,

AND YOU COME TO THE FAIR,
THE JUST,

AND THE HONEST CONCLUSION

THAT I WAS THE BEST-SUITED
FOR THE JOB.

AND I WANT TO THANK YOU,
COUSIN ANDY.

YOU'RE WELCOME,
COUSIN BARNEY.

I'LL ATTEND TO MY DUTIES
AS DEPUTY SHERIFF

AND DO ALL
THAT'S EXPECTED OF ME.

AND IF THERE'S A MESSAGE
TO BE DELIVERED,

I'M GONNA SEE TO IT THAT
THAT MESSAGE GETS DELIVERED.

THAT'S JUST FINE.

I WANT TO GET TO BE KNOWED
AROUND HERE

AS RELIABLE BARNEY FIFE.

YES, SIR.

WELL, GOT TO BE
GETTIN' BACK TO WORK.

UH, UH, BARNEY.

YEAH, ANDY?

WASN'T THERE SOMETHIN'
ABOUT A MESSAGE?

A MESSAGE?

YEAH.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

WELL, THE MESSAGE IS
THAT AUNT BEE CALLED

TO SAY SHE'S COMIN' IN
TOMORROW.

OH, THAT'S FINE,
FINE, FINE, FINE.

AND THANK YOU,
RELIABLE BARNEY.

YEAH, WELL.

WELL, LOOK WHO'S UP EARLY
TO GREET AUNT BEE.

PA, LOOK WHAT I DONE.

I SET THE TABLE,
I POURED THE MILK,

I GOT THE EGGS BOILIN'.

I'M MAKIN'
A WHOLE BREAKFAST.

WELL, YOU SURE ARE,
AND DOIN' A FINE JOB, TOO.

WELL, WHAT'S THIS HERE?

YOUR WATER'S
NEAR ABOUT BOILED AWAY.

OH, THAT HAPPENED
ONCE BEFORE.

I'D BETTER
FILL 'ER UP AGAIN.

WELL, ABOUT --

STAND BACK THERE.

HOW LONG YOU HAD
THEM EGGS IN THERE?

SINCE I GOT UP,
ABOUT 45 MINUTES.

45 MINUTES?

THINK THEY'RE READY
TO SERVE?

WELL, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED,
NO, I WOULDN'T,

ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE FIGURING
ON PLAYING TENNIS.

HUH?

OH, NOTHIN', NOTHIN' AT ALL.

I HAPPEN TO LIKE
45-MINUTE EGGS.

DON'T YOU?

PA, DON'T THIS
SHOW YOU SOMETHIN'?

DON'T IT, DON'T IT?

WELL, SHOW ME WHAT?

THAT WE DON'T NEED
AUNT BEE.

WE CAN GET ALONG
WITHOUT HER.

I CAN MAKE BREAKFAST
EVERY DAY.

SO WHEN SHE GETS HERE,
YOU JUST TELL HER

TO TURN RIGHT AROUND AND GO
BACK WHERE SHE CAME FROM.

WE DON'T NEED HER,
OKAY, PA?

WELL, NO, IT'S NOT OKAY.

YOU SEE, YOUR AUNT BEE,
SHE'S DOING A MIGHTY BIG THING

BY PULLING UP STAKES

AND COMING DOWN HERE
TO LIVE WITH US,

AND, WHY, SHE'S --

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

OH, I EXPECT
THAT'S HER NOW.

NOW, LISTEN. LISTEN.

I WANT YOU TO BE
JUST AS NICE TO AUNT BEE

AS YOU EVER BEEN TO ANYBODY
IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

NOW, YOU HEAR ME?

ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.

ANDY!

AUNT BEE,
COME IN THIS HOUSE.

I DECLARE,
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TIME
HOLDIN' ON TO YOU.

OHH.

YOU'RE SO PRETTY

I CAN'T HARDLY
LOOK AT YOU.

OH, ANDY, YOU HUSH UP.

OH, OPIE,
THIS IS YOUR AUNT BEE.

OPIE.
MY GOODNESS!

YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE THE SPIT AND IMAGE

OF YOUR PA
WHEN HE WAS YOUR AGE.

WHY, IT WILL BE JUST LIKE
RAISIN' YOU ALL OVER AGAIN.

COME GIVE ME
A LITTLE SUGAR.

GO ON, NOW.
GIVE HER A LITTLE SUGAR.

GIVE HER SOME GOOD.

MMM!

CAN I GO NOW, PA?

WELL, GO WHERE?

WHY, I WAS THINKIN'
ABOUT TAKIN' A BATH.

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME

YOU'RE GONNA TAKE A BATH
ON A VOLUNTEER BASIS?

DON'T YOU MAKE FUN
OF HIM, ANDY.

WHEN YOUR PA WAS YOUR AGE,
WE USED TO HAVE TO

PRACTICALLY SANDBLAST HIM
TO GET HIM CLEAN.

HE LOST FOUR POUNDS
WITH EVERY BATH.

CAN I?
CAN I GO, PA?

WELL, GO AHEAD.

HE'S A NICE BOY, ANDY.

I EXPECT WE'LL GET ALONG
REAL WELL

WHEN WE GET
TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

OH, WELL, SURE YOU WILL.

ANDY, I DO WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR HAVING ME HERE.

YOU KNOW, ALL THOSE
YOUNGUNS I RAISED --

THEY'RE ALL GROWN UP NOW, AND...

THAT'S WHY WHEN YOU CALLED,
I JUST GOT ON MY KNEES

AND I JUST THANKED HEAVEN

I HAD A PLACE TO GO
AND I HAD SOMETHING TO DO.

WELL, YOU GOT A PLACE
AND SURE GOT PLENTY TO DO.

THERE AIN'T NO USE
TO START RIGHT IN, THOUGH.

COME ON IN HERE
AND FRESHEN UP,

AND WE'LL GET
A LITTLE BIT OF BREAKFAST.

YOU WANT TO?

YOU LIKE REAL
HARD-BOILED EGGS?

WHY, OPIE, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
TOUCHED YOUR FRIED CHICKEN,

AND I MADE IT SPECIAL
FOR YOU.

AIN'T HUNGRY.

AIN'T HUNGRY?

WELL, REMIND ME TO CHECK YOU
WHEN WE GET UPSTAIRS

JUST TO SEE
IF YOU'RE THE SAME BOY

THAT I'VE SEEN WOLF DOWN
SIX OR EIGHT PIECES

WITHOUT EVEN BREATHIN' HARD.

ROSE MADE IT DIFFERENT.

I'LL GET US
SOME COFFEE, ANDY.

ALL RIGHT.

AND TO THINK I WAS GLAD
WHEN YOU LEARNED TO TALK.

I'LL, UH --
I'LL HELP YOU, AUNT BEE.

SINCE YOU'RE NOT GONNA
EAT ANYTHING,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL
GO ON UP TO YOUR ROOM.

YES, SIR.

SAY, OPIE, YOU KNOW,
A FUNNY THING HAPPENED.

WE COME BACK
TO CLEAR THE TABLE,

AND YOU KNOW,
THAT PLATE OF YOURS

AND ALL THE FOOD ON IT
HAD JUST DISAPPEARED?

REALLY?

YEAH, AND I JUST...

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED.

THERE'S YOUR PLATE.
RIGHT THERE.

OH, YEAH.

WELL, HOW IN THE WORLD
DO YOU RECKON

IT GOT ALL THE WAY UP HERE
TO YOUR ROOM,

AND LICKED CLEAN, TO BOOT?

I THINK I GOT
AN EXPLANATION, PA.

YOU DO?

YEAH. I BROUGHT IT UP
FOR MY BIRD.

FOR DICKY, THERE?

WELL, DO YOU, UH --
DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME

THAT HE EATS FRIED CHICKEN
AND BISCUITS AND HONEY?

HE LOVES IT.

HE DOES?

SEE HOW HE CLEANED
HIS PLATE?

YOU'RE SURE YOU AIN'T GOT
A BUZZARD IN THAT CAGE?

I'M PRETTY SURE.

UH, DICKY, IF I WAS YOU,

I WOULDN'T BE DOIN'
ANY FLYIN' TONIGHT

BECAUSE THEM BISCUITS
CAN LAY AWFUL HEAVY.

UH...

SAY, OPIE, DO YOU RECKON
THAT DICKY WOULD LIKE

TO HAVE A NICE, BIG PIECE
OF WATERMELON FOR DESSERT?

YEAH!

GOD BLESS MY PA
AND MY BIRD, DICKY,

AND MY DOG, GULLIVER,
AND MY LIZARD, OSCAR,

WHEREVER IT IS HE RAN AWAY TO,
AND BARNEY FIFE

AND MY WHITE MOUSE
AND JERRY AND TOMMY AND BILLY

AND MY SNAKE.

AMEN.

I FORGOT SOMEBODY
VERY IMPORTANT.

GOD BLESS ROSE, EVEN THOUGH
SHE RAN OFF AND GOT MARRIED.

Barney: ALL RIGHT!
COME ON, NOW!

COME ON, NOW.
NOW, EMMA, I SEEN YOU DO IT.

I SEEN YOU DO IT,
AND DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA

GET AWAY WITH THAT KIND
OF STUFF ON MY BEAT.

WHEN YOU COMMIT A CRIME
IN THIS TOWN, YOU PAY FOR IT,

AND I'M THE ONE THAT
SEES TO IT YOU PAY FOR IT

BECAUSE THAT'S MY DUTY.

BUT, BARNEY,
I ALWAYS CROSS MAPLE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOCK.

EMMA, THAT'S JAYWALKIN',

AND JAYWALKIN'
IS AGIN THE LAW.

NOW, EMMA, YOU JUST STEP
RIGHT OVER HERE.

YOU GOT TO BE BOOKED
AND FINGERPRINTED.

FINGERPRINTED?!

THEM'S MODERN POLICE METHODS,
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES.

NOW, GIVE ME
YOUR THUMB THERE.

BARNEY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

I'M BOOKIN' A PRISONER,
SHERIFF.

JAYWALKER.

BARNEY, YOU KNOW
WE DON'T EVER STOP EMMA.

WE FIGURE IF SHE CAN SAVE
A STEP OR TWO HERE AND THERE,

SHE'LL JUST BE WITH US
THAT MUCH LONGER.

NOW, YOU JUST
GO AHEAD ON HOME, EMMA.

OH, THANK YOU, ANDY.

NAUGHTY DEPUTY!

NOW, WHY'D YOU
DO THAT, ANDY?

YOU KNOW SHE WAS GUILTY.
I SEEN HER DO IT.

NOW SHE'S GONNA GO OUT
AND TELL ALL HER FRIENDS

HOW SHE GOT AWAY WITH IT.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
PEOPLE'S GONNA BE

JAYWALKIN' ALL OVER THE PLACE
AND DISREGARDIN'

"KEEP OFF THE GRASS" SIGNS
AND EVERYTHING.

MAYBERRY'S JUST GONNA TURN
INTO A REGULAR SIN TOWN!

HI, OPE.

YOU WANNA GO
DOWN TO THE CREEK?

NO, I GOT
SOME THINKIN' TO DO.

YOU GOT
SOME KIND OF PROBLEM?

PA, I GOT SOMETHIN'
TO ASK YOU --

SOMETHIN' IMPORTANT.

YEAH?
WELL, GO AHEAD.

CAN I RUN AWAY FROM HOME?

UH...YOU WANT
TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME?

WELL, NOW, UH...

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT
ON YOUR MIND,

YOU'RE GOIN' ABOUT IT
ALL WRONG.

I AM?

OH, YEAH. YOU AIN'T
SUPPOSED TO ASK YOUR PA.

BUT YOU ALWAYS SAID I SHOULD
NEVER GO ANYPLACE FAR

WITHOUT GETTIN'
YOUR PERMISSION.

WELL, YEAH,
I KNOW I DID SAY THAT,

BUT SEE, RUNNIN' AWAY
FROM HOME'S A LITTLE SPECIAL.

SEE, WHAT YOU DO
IN A CASE LIKE THAT

IS FIRST YOU WRITE A NOTE

SAYIN' THAT YOU'RE RUNNIN'
AWAY, AND THEN YOU DO IT.

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT?

THAT'S ALL.

BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO WRITE.

THAT DOES MAKE A PROBLEM.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

IF YOU ARE REALLY BOUND
TO RUN AWAY,

I'LL WRITE A NOTE FOR YOU.

YOU WILL?

YES, SIR.
I'LL DO IT.

NOW, LET'S SEE.

WHEN WAS IT
YOU WANTED TO LEAVE?

RIGHT AWAY.

TODAY'S WEDNESDAY.

AND ABOUT HOW LONG WAS YOU
FIGURIN' ON STAYIN'?

WHY?

NEVER MIND.
THAT STANDS TO REASON.

IF YOU RUN AWAY,
YOU RUN AWAY FOREVER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

NOW, DON'T BOTHER ME.
I'M THINKIN'.

UH...

"DEAR PA...

"I AM RUNNIN' AWAY
FROM HOME,

AND YOU WILL NEVER
SEE ME AGAIN."

PA, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKIN' ABOUT?

WHY WON'T I EVER
SEE YOU AGAIN?

WELL, YOU'VE RUN AWAY
AND I'M RIGHT HERE.

NOW, HOW ARE WE
GONNA SEE ONE ANOTHER?

NO!

WELL...

WHAT ARE YOU
DOIN' THAT FOR?

I DIDN'T FINISH
THE NOTE YET.

I DON'T WANNA RUN AWAY.
I CHANGED MY MIND.

OH, WELL, I RECKON
A LITTLE BOY GETS THE RIGHT

TO CHANGE HIS MIND.

I DON'T WANNA
LEAVE YOU, PA.

AND I DON'T WANT YOU
TO LEAVE, OPIE.

IS IT, UH...IS IT AUNT BEE?

OPIE, WHY CAN'T YOU
PUT ROSE OUT OF YOUR MIND,

MAKE ROOM FOR AUNT BEE?

IF YOU'LL GIVE HER A CHANCE,
WHY, PRETTY SOON,

YOU'LL LOVE AUNT BEE AS MUCH
AS YOU EVER LOVED ROSE.

AW, PA.

SHE CAN'T DO ANYTHING
LIKE ROSE CAN.

SHE CAN'T FISH OR HUNT FROGS

OR PLAY BASEBALL WITH ME
LIKE ROSE DID.

GOSH.

NOW, LET ME SHOW YOU
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT BASEBALL.

OH, ANDY, I KNOW A LOT
ABOUT BASEBALL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM,
A NINNY?

OH, WELL, GOOD.
WE'LL BE WAY AHEAD, THEN.

WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, UH, THAT'S A BAT.

AND WITH THE BAT,
YOU HIT THE BALL, YOU SEE.

ALL RIGHT?

NOW, YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME

AND DO EXACTLY
WHAT I TELL YOU,

AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
YOU AND OPIE WILL BE CLOSER

THAN TWO FLEAS
IN A DOG'S EAR.

ALL RIGHT.
NOW, YOU READY?

UH...

AUNT BEE.

I THINK
YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG.

I BELIEVE --

I BELIEVE YOU HOLD IT
WITH THE LITTLE END, SEE,

AND YOU HIT
WITH THE BIG END.

OH, THAT MAKES IT EASIER.

PA...

IF SHE'S
SUCH A GREAT FISHERMAN

LIKE YOU BEEN TELLIN' ME,

HOW COME SHE FISHES WITH
HER BAIT OUT OF THE WATER?

OH!

WELL, SEE, THIS IS
LITTLE-BITTY STREAM FISHIN',

AND AUNT BEE, SHE'S USED TO
DEEP-SEA FISHIN'

FOR PORPOISES AND FLYIN' FISH
AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

DO YOU MEAN
YOU FISH FOR THEM

WITH YOUR BAIT
OUT OF THE WATER?

OH, SURE.

YOU SEE, THEY COME UP
AND MEET YOUR POLE HALFWAY.

YEAH.
RIGHT, AUNT BEE?

[ Laughs nervously ]
YEAH.

YOU JUST LET HER
GET THE HANG OF IT,

AND SHE'LL BE PULLIN'
THEM FISH IN HAND OVER FIST.

AUNT BEE, YOU GOT ONE!

AUNT BEE, REEL IT IN!

REEL IT IN!

Andy: YEAH, REEL HIM IN,
AUNT BEE!

[ WHIMPERING ]

WHY AIN'T SHE
PULLIN' HIM IN?

WELL, UH, SEE,
AUNT BEE IS A SPORTSMAN,

AND SHE'S TRYIN' TO GIVE
THAT FISH EVERY CHANCE.

[ WHIMPERING ]

UH, I BELIEVE YOU'VE GIVE HIM
ENOUGH CHANCE, AUNT BEE.

REEL HIM IN.

OH! AHH!

EASY! HE'S SO BIG,
YOU NEARLY LOST YOUR POLE.

AHH!

AHH! AHH!

WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?

WELL, IT WAS TOO LITTLE,
AND SHE THREW IT BACK.

THAT'S YOUR AUNT BEE --
A SPORTSMAN ALL THE WAY.

WAKE UP, OPIE.

WE'RE HOME.

GET READY FOR BED.

PA, DICKY IS GONE!

HE IS?

OH, OPIE,
YOU LEFT THE CAGE OPEN.

NO, I DIDN'T.

[ Voice breaking ]
I NEVER LEAVE IT OPEN!

OH, DEAR.

OPIE, I CLEANED OUT HIS CAGE
FOR YOU THIS MORNING,

AND MAYBE I DIDN'T SHUT...
THE DOOR...TIGHT ENOUGH.

SHE DID IT!

DICKY'S LOST,
AND IT'S ALL HER FAULT!

[ CRYING ]

Aunt Bee: IT'S TOO EARLY
TO WAKE HIM, ANDY.

I'LL JUST PEEK IN.

I WISH YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE,
AUNT BEE.

MAYBE IF YOU'D GIVE HIM
A LITTLE MORE TIME.

NO, ANDY,
IT'S MUCH BETTER THIS WAY.

NOT THAT I WOULDN'T
GIVE ANYTHING

TO DO THE THINGS
HE LIKES TO DO --

PLAY BASEBALL
AND FISH AND ALL, BUT...

HE'S A VERY SMART
LITTLE BOY.

I COULDN'T FOOL HIM.

AND YOU KNOW, ANDY,

HE'S GOING THROUGH
A VERY, VERY HARD TIME.

I THINK
WE'D BETTER GET GOING.

I'LL HELP YOU.

Opie: PA!
AUNT BEE! WAIT!

OPIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT IN YOUR PAJAMAS?

DON'T GO, AUNT BEE!
I DON'T WANT YOU TO!

I WANT YOU TO STAY!

YOU DO?

YOU MEAN IT, OPIE?

SURE!

WELL, WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?

WELL, IF SHE GOES,
WHAT'LL HAPPEN TO HER?

SHE DOESN'T KNOW
HOW TO DO ANYTHING --

PLAY BALL, CATCH FISH,
OR HUNT FROGS.

SHE'LL BE HELPLESS!

YEAH, I GUESS THAT'S RIGHT.

A WOMAN THAT DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO

IMPORTANT THINGS LIKE THAT --
WHY, SHE'D JUST BE LOST.

SO THAT'S WHY
SHE'S GOTTA STAY --

SO I CAN TEACH THEM TO HER.

YOU NEED ME!

OH, OPIE, I DO.

* YOU GET A LINE
AND I'LL GET A POLE, HONEY *

* YOU GET A LINE AND I'LL
GET A POLE, BABE *

* YOU GET A LINE,
I'LL GET A POLE *

* WE'LL GO DOWN
TO THE CRAWDAD HOLE *

* HONEY, BABY MINE

* YONDER COME A MAN
WITH A SACK ON HIS BACK, HONEY *

Opie: PA!

PA! PA!

WHOA, WHOA, NOW,
SIMMER DOWN, NOW.

YOU'RE GONNA
BUST SOMETHING.

WHAT IS IT?

DICKY!
HE'S COME BACK!

FLEW INTO THE CAGE
ALL BY HIMSELF!

OH, OPIE,
ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL!

YES, SIR, AND I TOLD YOU
HE WOULD, TOO.

AND I BET YOU
THAT I KNOW WHY.

I BET YOU THAT HE
GOT OUT THERE,

FLYING AROUND WITH SOME
OF THEM WILD BIRDS,

AND HE SAW WHAT KIND OF POOR
KIND OF EATIN' THEY HAD.

YOU KNOW, LITTLE BERRIES
AND LITTLE SEEDS

AND LITTLE PIECES OF ROOT,
STUFF LIKE THAT.

AND HE SAYS, "I'M GOING
BACK THERE TO OPIE,

"WHERE I CAN GET ME SOME MORE
OF THAT GOOD FRIED CHICKEN

AND BISCUITS AND HONEY
AND STUFF LIKE THAT."

DON'T YOU RECKON?

I RECKON.
I RECKON SO!

* WELL, YOU GET A LINE
AND I'LL GET A POLE, HONEY *

* HONEY

* YOU GET A LINE AND I'LL
GET A POLE, BABE *

* YOU GET A LINE
AND I'LL GET A POLE *

* WE'LL GO DOWN
TO THE CRAWDAD HOLE *

* HONEY, BABY MINE *