The Amazing World of Gumball (2011–…): Season 6, Episode 4 - The One - full transcript
Tobias tries to be Gumball's best friend.
[ Upbeat music plays ]
♪
♪ There can only be one
[ School bell rings ]
Gumball: Oh, man, I'm so tubby,
I don't have a muffin top.
I've got the whole bakery.
I'm so porky, I don't have
a six-pack, I have a barrel.
Yeah, your midsection looks
like someone tried to shove
a grapefruit
through a garden hose.
Yeah, man, your belly
has more folds
than an origami convention.
[ Deep humming ]
[ School bell rings ]
Dagnabit, I'm so week
that if I was a superhero,
I'd be Boy-Man --
the man with the strength
of a 12-year-old boy.
What are you
talking about?
You're as strong as a bear...
[bare]
naked old lady.
[ Both laugh ]
I got so little
muscle definition,
I need a muscle dictionary.
[ Both laugh ]
Yeah, dude, the only think
you could lift with that body
is my self-esteem.
[ Deep humming ]
Bottle trick! Ha!
Aw. Well, at least
I stuck the landing.
♪
[ Both laugh ]
[ Sighs ]
Dagnabit, I'm such a loser.
The only thing you ever won
was our mother's love,
and you didn't even
get first place.
You're such a loser,
the only time people miss you
is when they're throwing
rotten tomatoes.
[ Deep humming ]
What's the matter, dude?
Why do you always pull that face
every time Rocky's around?
[ Machine humming, shuts off ]
Hmm? [ Chuckles awkwardly ]
It's not that.
It's Tobias.
I don't understand why,
but every time he ribs me,
I feel like he's actually
broken one of my ribs.
Maybe it's because
deep down,
you really respect
Tobias' opinion.
[ Both cackling ]
-Oh, man.
-Whew. Hoo.
But you're right,
it is weird.
You don't mind
when I insult you.
-You even do it to yourself.
-I know, right?
Well, then, maybe
the problem isn't Tobias.
Maybe the problem...
is your fragile ego.
Let's start by stripping back
the layers of your personality.
[ Grunts ]
[ Creak! Pop! ]
So, who do we have here?
[ Laughing ]
I'm Humor!
You want to hear a joke?
Me!
[ Laughs, cries ]
And who's hiding
behind that nose?
Anxiety.
That's what I thought.
Carry on.
[ Grunts ]
[ Creak! Pop! ]
[ Deep voice ]
I'm Fear.
[ High-pitched ]
And I'm Optimism!
And tell me, Fear,
why the aggression?
Because I'm afraid -- afraid
of who's behind all of us.
[ Gasps ]
The Ego.
Well, maybe
we should meet him.
Oh, no,
that's not a good idea.
[ Rumbling, roaring ]
♪
I...am...
awesome!
Guess I was wrong. Looks like
your ego's doing just great.
Well, on the plus side, we now
know I truly love myself.
Yeah, but I really
didn't need to see
your ego smooching itself.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you jealous?
You want a kiss, too,
Marwin Wawerson?
Get off of me,
or I'll kiss you back.
[ Smooches ]
I won.
[ Deep humming ]
Dude, I think I'm having
an epic pony.
-What?
-No, an EpiPen.
-For an allergy?
-A happy faffily.
Do you mean an epiphany?
Yes! A peepee-phony!
I'm having one of those.
Tobias isn't good enough
friends with me.
-That's the problem.
-What do you mean?
Well, you know how
we're not just brothers
-but best friends, too?
-I know.
I must have really
low standards.
[ Both laugh ]
Exactly.
It's okay for you to say that
because you're my number one,
but not Tobias, because
he's a lesser friend.
I mean, look at the difference
between the way
we treat our friends
and the way we treat each other.
"Get well soon. Love, Leslie."
"Miss you. Love, Bobert."
"That bus should've ended you.
Love, Darwin."
[ Laughs, sighs ]
Yeah, I think
you pull it off.
Think you should
pull it off.
Man:
Our big sale will end in...
[ Belches ]
Hadouken!
-[ Gags, laughs ]
-[ Laughs ]
I see what you mean. We should
talk to Tobias about it.
Yeah, but it can wait
till school on Monday.
I don't want to hurt
his feelings,
but he needs to understand
that there are boundaries,
and he can't just --
Yeah, so I was thinking,
this weekend,
maybe we should just stay in.
I mean, if we did go out,
the only people we'd talk to
are each other. Am I right?
Dude,
who invited you in?!
What am I, a vampire?
It's what friends do.
♪
By the way, can you tell
your mom to buy more ice cream?
We're out.
That gentle enough for ya?
[ Both gasp ]
You know what's cool
about being best friends?
You never need to ask
before borrowing money.
And that's the other thing --
the comfortable silences.
Nobody feels like they have to
say anything or make small talk.
It's just comfortable,
you know?
Just totally quiet.
Nobody saying anything.
Total silence --
[ Thumping ]
There.
[ Thumping ]
Oh, hey. You fixed the door.
That reminds me of that time
we fixed the roof
after Ocho blew it up.
You know, I'm glad I had
the strength of character
to give up that cellphone.
Okay, first of all,
why would you alter this memory
just to give me
massive teeth?
And secondly,
you weren't even there.
Tobias: Yes, I was!
[ Laughs ] Classic us.
[ Honk! ]
'Kay, enough. You weren't there
when we fixed the roof,
and you won't be here
when we fix the door.
But you've already fixed the --
[ Thud ]
Dagnabit,
fixed it too well.
[ Muffled ]
That's okay.
That's what best friends do,
am I right?
Okay, Tobias. I didn't want
to have to say this,
-so Gumball will.
-[ Sighs ]
Isn't it obvious?
I mean, read between the lines.
What do you mean there are
unspoken differences
between types of friends, and
that we're kind of okay friends
-but not best friends?
-Well, I, uh...
What do you mean this all stems
from a narcissistic delusion
brought on by my inner fear
about facing
-my true place in the universe?
-Uh...
What do you mean...
♪ You don't wanna be
♪ Mo-o-o-o-ore
♪ Than just regular
♪ Frie-e-e-e-ends
-Really?
-Sorry, I was thinking that.
Look, you're -- you're just
not the kind of friend
that we'd call for
really important stuff,
like moving a couch.
Nah, I get it. I can't be
your best friend, Gumball,
because there can be
only one.
Yeah, but you're
definitely fifth --
-Sixth.
-Sixth in line.
So, if all of those
other friends were gone,
we'd be best friends.
Technically, yeah, I guess
I just have to make do with you.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
♪
[ Sighing ] There.
All's well that ends well.
Do you ever get that tingly
feeling in your stomach
when someone tragically
misinterprets something you said
in a dangerously
fundamental way?
Hmm.
Nope.
♪
♪
♪
So...
Let's get started.
♪
Yeah, I'm not really
in the market for a sword.
I thought you were selling
knock-off handbags.
No.
There can be only one.
-One handbag?
-No, one friend!
♪
Aah! Aah! No!
♪
Bad idea.
Yes! Give me the power
of your friendship.
The friendening
empowers me!
♪ There can only be one
♪
[ Cackling ]
♪
♪ There can only be one ♪
[ Rip! ]
[ Cackling ]
♪
[ Hair dryer whirring ]
Aah!
I think it's on cold.
Oh, thanks.
Aah!
[ Cackling ]
♪
I'm a ghost,
you joke of a jock.
All you've done there is turn
a stick into two sticks.
Wrong. I turned it
into the ghost of a stick.
[ Thunk ]
[ Cackling ]
♪ There can only be one
[ Doorbell rings ]
Gumball, I have defeated
all of your friends but one.
Yeah! Ye--
Seems he got the wrong
end of the stick.
-Hmm? [ Gasps ]
-Hmm? [ Gasps ]
Sorry, Darwin,
but there can be only one.
I've absorbed the powers
of Gumball's friends.
Surrender to your doom,
Darwin!
-[ Cackling ]
-[ Screaming ]
Darwin!
♪
Dagnabit, he must've
got to Leslie.
No one can touch him
on the dance floor.
♪
-What are you doing?
-I'm using Banana Joe's powers
to irradiate him.
It's gonna take a while.
There's only 360 milligrams
of potassium in a banana.
Okay, can we move on to the next
one? I've got a life to live.
Well, I was gonna use
Sarah's powers,
but turns out
that drawing your opponents
falling in love with you
isn't that useful a fight.
But Carrie,
on the other hand...
♪
[ Gasping ]
-Darwin!
-I am number one!
[ Cackling ]
No, you're not!
That's not how friendship works.
You do not get friend points
by beating up everybody I know.
And you didn't get
their magic powers, by the way.
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
Can you keep it down,
please?
[ Exhaling slowly ]
[ Straining ]
There can...be...
only...one.
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
Look, it doesn't really matter
if we're best friends,
because you're
a good friend, Tobias.
And good is good, right?
I know. I'm sorry.
I just wanted more,
and I did get a bit...
[ Gurgles ]
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah. It was pretty...
[ Both groaning ]
[ Both laugh ]
Come on, then, friend.
Give me a hand
with this couch.
Yeah, I'm a good friend,
but not the kind of friend
you'd call to move a couch.
-[ Clicks tong
-Hmm, fair enough.
[ Door shuts ]
It's fair enough.
♪
♪ There can only be one
[ School bell rings ]
Gumball: Oh, man, I'm so tubby,
I don't have a muffin top.
I've got the whole bakery.
I'm so porky, I don't have
a six-pack, I have a barrel.
Yeah, your midsection looks
like someone tried to shove
a grapefruit
through a garden hose.
Yeah, man, your belly
has more folds
than an origami convention.
[ Deep humming ]
[ School bell rings ]
Dagnabit, I'm so week
that if I was a superhero,
I'd be Boy-Man --
the man with the strength
of a 12-year-old boy.
What are you
talking about?
You're as strong as a bear...
[bare]
naked old lady.
[ Both laugh ]
I got so little
muscle definition,
I need a muscle dictionary.
[ Both laugh ]
Yeah, dude, the only think
you could lift with that body
is my self-esteem.
[ Deep humming ]
Bottle trick! Ha!
Aw. Well, at least
I stuck the landing.
♪
[ Both laugh ]
[ Sighs ]
Dagnabit, I'm such a loser.
The only thing you ever won
was our mother's love,
and you didn't even
get first place.
You're such a loser,
the only time people miss you
is when they're throwing
rotten tomatoes.
[ Deep humming ]
What's the matter, dude?
Why do you always pull that face
every time Rocky's around?
[ Machine humming, shuts off ]
Hmm? [ Chuckles awkwardly ]
It's not that.
It's Tobias.
I don't understand why,
but every time he ribs me,
I feel like he's actually
broken one of my ribs.
Maybe it's because
deep down,
you really respect
Tobias' opinion.
[ Both cackling ]
-Oh, man.
-Whew. Hoo.
But you're right,
it is weird.
You don't mind
when I insult you.
-You even do it to yourself.
-I know, right?
Well, then, maybe
the problem isn't Tobias.
Maybe the problem...
is your fragile ego.
Let's start by stripping back
the layers of your personality.
[ Grunts ]
[ Creak! Pop! ]
So, who do we have here?
[ Laughing ]
I'm Humor!
You want to hear a joke?
Me!
[ Laughs, cries ]
And who's hiding
behind that nose?
Anxiety.
That's what I thought.
Carry on.
[ Grunts ]
[ Creak! Pop! ]
[ Deep voice ]
I'm Fear.
[ High-pitched ]
And I'm Optimism!
And tell me, Fear,
why the aggression?
Because I'm afraid -- afraid
of who's behind all of us.
[ Gasps ]
The Ego.
Well, maybe
we should meet him.
Oh, no,
that's not a good idea.
[ Rumbling, roaring ]
♪
I...am...
awesome!
Guess I was wrong. Looks like
your ego's doing just great.
Well, on the plus side, we now
know I truly love myself.
Yeah, but I really
didn't need to see
your ego smooching itself.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you jealous?
You want a kiss, too,
Marwin Wawerson?
Get off of me,
or I'll kiss you back.
[ Smooches ]
I won.
[ Deep humming ]
Dude, I think I'm having
an epic pony.
-What?
-No, an EpiPen.
-For an allergy?
-A happy faffily.
Do you mean an epiphany?
Yes! A peepee-phony!
I'm having one of those.
Tobias isn't good enough
friends with me.
-That's the problem.
-What do you mean?
Well, you know how
we're not just brothers
-but best friends, too?
-I know.
I must have really
low standards.
[ Both laugh ]
Exactly.
It's okay for you to say that
because you're my number one,
but not Tobias, because
he's a lesser friend.
I mean, look at the difference
between the way
we treat our friends
and the way we treat each other.
"Get well soon. Love, Leslie."
"Miss you. Love, Bobert."
"That bus should've ended you.
Love, Darwin."
[ Laughs, sighs ]
Yeah, I think
you pull it off.
Think you should
pull it off.
Man:
Our big sale will end in...
[ Belches ]
Hadouken!
-[ Gags, laughs ]
-[ Laughs ]
I see what you mean. We should
talk to Tobias about it.
Yeah, but it can wait
till school on Monday.
I don't want to hurt
his feelings,
but he needs to understand
that there are boundaries,
and he can't just --
Yeah, so I was thinking,
this weekend,
maybe we should just stay in.
I mean, if we did go out,
the only people we'd talk to
are each other. Am I right?
Dude,
who invited you in?!
What am I, a vampire?
It's what friends do.
♪
By the way, can you tell
your mom to buy more ice cream?
We're out.
That gentle enough for ya?
[ Both gasp ]
You know what's cool
about being best friends?
You never need to ask
before borrowing money.
And that's the other thing --
the comfortable silences.
Nobody feels like they have to
say anything or make small talk.
It's just comfortable,
you know?
Just totally quiet.
Nobody saying anything.
Total silence --
[ Thumping ]
There.
[ Thumping ]
Oh, hey. You fixed the door.
That reminds me of that time
we fixed the roof
after Ocho blew it up.
You know, I'm glad I had
the strength of character
to give up that cellphone.
Okay, first of all,
why would you alter this memory
just to give me
massive teeth?
And secondly,
you weren't even there.
Tobias: Yes, I was!
[ Laughs ] Classic us.
[ Honk! ]
'Kay, enough. You weren't there
when we fixed the roof,
and you won't be here
when we fix the door.
But you've already fixed the --
[ Thud ]
Dagnabit,
fixed it too well.
[ Muffled ]
That's okay.
That's what best friends do,
am I right?
Okay, Tobias. I didn't want
to have to say this,
-so Gumball will.
-[ Sighs ]
Isn't it obvious?
I mean, read between the lines.
What do you mean there are
unspoken differences
between types of friends, and
that we're kind of okay friends
-but not best friends?
-Well, I, uh...
What do you mean this all stems
from a narcissistic delusion
brought on by my inner fear
about facing
-my true place in the universe?
-Uh...
What do you mean...
♪ You don't wanna be
♪ Mo-o-o-o-ore
♪ Than just regular
♪ Frie-e-e-e-ends
-Really?
-Sorry, I was thinking that.
Look, you're -- you're just
not the kind of friend
that we'd call for
really important stuff,
like moving a couch.
Nah, I get it. I can't be
your best friend, Gumball,
because there can be
only one.
Yeah, but you're
definitely fifth --
-Sixth.
-Sixth in line.
So, if all of those
other friends were gone,
we'd be best friends.
Technically, yeah, I guess
I just have to make do with you.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
♪
[ Sighing ] There.
All's well that ends well.
Do you ever get that tingly
feeling in your stomach
when someone tragically
misinterprets something you said
in a dangerously
fundamental way?
Hmm.
Nope.
♪
♪
♪
So...
Let's get started.
♪
Yeah, I'm not really
in the market for a sword.
I thought you were selling
knock-off handbags.
No.
There can be only one.
-One handbag?
-No, one friend!
♪
Aah! Aah! No!
♪
Bad idea.
Yes! Give me the power
of your friendship.
The friendening
empowers me!
♪ There can only be one
♪
[ Cackling ]
♪
♪ There can only be one ♪
[ Rip! ]
[ Cackling ]
♪
[ Hair dryer whirring ]
Aah!
I think it's on cold.
Oh, thanks.
Aah!
[ Cackling ]
♪
I'm a ghost,
you joke of a jock.
All you've done there is turn
a stick into two sticks.
Wrong. I turned it
into the ghost of a stick.
[ Thunk ]
[ Cackling ]
♪ There can only be one
[ Doorbell rings ]
Gumball, I have defeated
all of your friends but one.
Yeah! Ye--
Seems he got the wrong
end of the stick.
-Hmm? [ Gasps ]
-Hmm? [ Gasps ]
Sorry, Darwin,
but there can be only one.
I've absorbed the powers
of Gumball's friends.
Surrender to your doom,
Darwin!
-[ Cackling ]
-[ Screaming ]
Darwin!
♪
Dagnabit, he must've
got to Leslie.
No one can touch him
on the dance floor.
♪
-What are you doing?
-I'm using Banana Joe's powers
to irradiate him.
It's gonna take a while.
There's only 360 milligrams
of potassium in a banana.
Okay, can we move on to the next
one? I've got a life to live.
Well, I was gonna use
Sarah's powers,
but turns out
that drawing your opponents
falling in love with you
isn't that useful a fight.
But Carrie,
on the other hand...
♪
[ Gasping ]
-Darwin!
-I am number one!
[ Cackling ]
No, you're not!
That's not how friendship works.
You do not get friend points
by beating up everybody I know.
And you didn't get
their magic powers, by the way.
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
Can you keep it down,
please?
[ Exhaling slowly ]
[ Straining ]
There can...be...
only...one.
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
Look, it doesn't really matter
if we're best friends,
because you're
a good friend, Tobias.
And good is good, right?
I know. I'm sorry.
I just wanted more,
and I did get a bit...
[ Gurgles ]
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah. It was pretty...
[ Both groaning ]
[ Both laugh ]
Come on, then, friend.
Give me a hand
with this couch.
Yeah, I'm a good friend,
but not the kind of friend
you'd call to move a couch.
-[ Clicks tong
-Hmm, fair enough.
[ Door shuts ]
It's fair enough.