The Amazing World of Gumball (2011–…): Season 5, Episode 22 - The Stars - full transcript

Corrected & Synced by Bakugan

[ BUZZING ]

There. All done.

Let me show you
the back.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.



Perfect.

Perfect.

[ GASPS ]

Perfect.

Same time tomorrow?

Of course, sir.

[ VACUUM WHIRRING ]

[ BELLS JINGLE ]

Oh, Mr. Watterson.
I didn't see you there.

So, how can I help?

Just a trim, please.

Something like this.

Uh, sir, there is
a slight problem.

If you're worried I can't pay,
I can assure you



I went through my wife's purse
this morning.

Actually, I had
another concern.

You, uh,
appear to be...

bald.

[ "BALD" ECHOING ]

[ HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM ]

I'm not bald!

Bald people are a joke!

Uh, I'm bald, sir.

Exactly!

Listen,
I came here for a haircut!

I'm not leaving
until I get one!

Hmm.

[ WIND BLOWS ]

Uh, are you sure?

Yes!

[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ OPERATIC CRESCENDO ]

[ CREAKING ]

Is everything okay?

Mm-hmm.

Disgraceful!

First, he gives me
this insult of a haircut,

then he has the audacity
to call me bald!

Me... Richard Watterson!
How dare he...

How long's he been going on
like this?

What?!

[ SIGHS ]

Dude, you don't have ears.
Where did you put those?

Oh. So that's why
they didn't work.

So, how long has he been
going on like this?

About three days.

Mr. Dad, why didn't you just
tell Larry there and then

that you weren't happy?

And waste my precious breath
on someone so deluded?!

I mean, do I look like a guy
who's lost his hair?!

Uh, stand still.

It's kind of hard to tell

with the light
bouncing off your head.

Hmph!

Dad,
you've got to step up

and do the right thing.

Leave a mean review about Larry
online

and ruin his life
with complete anonymity.

Hmm. That's both lazy
and cowardly.

Pass me the laptop.

[ CLASSICAL GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ COMPUTER CHIMING ]

Agh!
Anyone know my login?

I've forgotten it.
[ SIGHS ]

Okay, what do you want
to say?

"I left this hairdresser
a sad, broken man."

Dad, you went in
a sad, broken man.

The key to a good online review
is to take out

all the frustration you have
in your life

on someone who totally
doesn't deserve it.

[ CLASSICAL GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ WINCES ] Ooh!
[ WINCES ] Ooh!

Mm... Mm...

Oh! Oh!

And viola.

And... send!

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

Hello?
It's Larry.

[ GASPS ]
It's Larry.

It's Larry!
[ GASPS ]
It's Larry!

[ GASPS ]
It's Larry?

Uh, yes, it's Larry.

I'm calling
about your review.

How are you so sure
it was me?

I used a fake name.

Well, actually, you signed
the review "Richard."

But I meant
a different Richard.

A different
Richard Watterson?

I have a very common name.

You uploaded your photo.

I... have
a very common face?

What you said was
uncalled for, mean,

and, frankly,
full of grammatical errors.

But it's my philosophy that
the customer is always right,

so if you take down
the review,

you can get free haircuts
for you and your family.

And...?
[ SIGHS ]

And you have
a thick head of hair.

How thick?

Quite thick?

I'll take it!

Now, if you kids
will excuse me,

I'm off to buy a com-b.

Did you see
what happened there?

All we have to do is threaten
Larry with a bad review,

and he'll give us
free stuff!

And that guy works
everywhere!

It's a victimless crime!

Apart from Larry.

Effortless.
It's an effortless crime.

GUMBALL: [ STRAINED ]
Dude, we ate too much.

I'm gonna
loosen my belt.

[ STRAINED ] Me too.

[ BOTH BELCH ]

BOTH: Belly five!

I hope everything
was to your liking, gentlemen.

Here's your check.

Uh, I don't think
we'll be paying.

And why would I give you
a free meal?

Because that's
the sort of generous touch

that guarantees you
a glowing five-star review!

I don't think so.

Four stars it is, then.

[ GASPS ]
Hey, stop that!

One bad review online is
all it takes

to drag a place down!

Talking back to a customer?
Three stars.

[ PATRONS SCREAMING ]

Take it down to two.

Maybe we can get
a free dessert.

[ GASPS ]

Want to try
for one star, Larry?

[ SCREAMS ] Okay, okay,
your meal is free!

Five stars.
Would come again.

We'll take the desserts
to go.

We don't do takeout...

Hmm?

[ SIGHS ]

GUMBALL:
Boring! Ugh!

Rhinos, flamingos?

I've seen it all before.
There's nothing new here.

It's getting one star.

What?!
You want new animals?!

Breaking the laws of nature
seems kind of wrong.
Hmm?

[ STAMMERS ] But the customer
is always right!

[ GUTTURAL ROARING ]

Ugh! Ugh!

Ta-da!

That... is..horrific.

[ SHAKILY ]
Five stars.

LOIS: So, Man Man,
what can I do for you?

MAN MAN: Well, Miss Plane,
I was in the area,

and I thought I'd, uh, take
a look at your tax returns.

This movie is garbage.

What superhero is this?

Man Man!

He was bitten by a man

and given the powers
of a man.

Yeah, that's weak.

I guess we'll give
the cinema one star.

Wait! We didn't make
the film!

Yeah,
but you showed it.

You should apply
a little quality control

before stealing
two hours of our lives.

Plus ads.
Four hours of our lives.

[ SIGHS ] All right.
Give me a minute.

MAN MAN:
But give it back...

[ AUDIO SLOWS, STOPS ]

LARRY:
Great game today.

Yeah, we're going all the way
to the state finals.

[ GASPS ]

Who's that?

That?! Ha!

She's just some nerdy girl

that will never get
with hot jocks like us.

[ LAUGHS ]

Troy?

[ SOFT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ]

You know,
without these glasses,

you're beautiful.

When did you know you were
going to ask me to the prom?

From the moment
our eyes met.

♪ I remember last year ♪

♪ I wanted to see your face ♪

What was that?

DARWIN: [ SOBBING ]

I never thought
they'd get together.

They were so different.

They were literally
the same guy.

[ SNIFFLES ]
Five stars!

Hey!

Ugh!
One star!

Dude, you can't review
Tobias.

He's not a business.

Hmm.

Larry, we need you
to design us a website.

But this is a shoe store.

A shoe store with
a very poor web-design service.

Larry,
raise my eyebrow for me.

[ SIGHS ]

[ SCREAMS ]
Right away!

[ KEYBOARD CLACKING, BEEP ]

It's online.

Perfect!

[ CELLPHONE CHIMES ]

I got reviewed?

One star?!

[ GROANS ]

Too small and round.
One star.

Hey!

Has the dress sense
of a fever dream

and is easily confused.

Hey!
I dyed this tie myself!

Or is it "tied this dye"?

Ugh!

The sun's too hot!
One star?

Would not recommend
to a nearby solar system.

Rate me one star?

I am one star!

Principal Brown.
What happened?

I got a terrible review
online.

One star?
No, it was three stars,

but the student made
so many spelling errors,

the school board
sacked me anyway.

Want to buy a pirate DVD?

Absolutely not.

[ GROANS ]

This is bad, Gumball.

Other people are using
our website

to review everything.

Meh,
what could go wrong?

[ CELLPHONE CHIMES ]

I guess the reviewer
has become the reviewee.

Terrible line.
Two stars.
Ohh!

[ SIREN WAILS ]
Felicity:
What's wrong with you?!

Why won't you help me?!

I'm sorry,
but we can't risk it.

Our last review was all,

"Emergency response times this,
medical ethics that."

So I'm supposed to
just lie here?!

Hmm.
Patient very pushy.

One star.
[ SCREAMS ]

Boring accident scene.
One star.
Dude!

Come on! Do something
about these termites!

They're eating my house!

Sorry. I can't afford
any more bad reviews.

Turns out termites have
a strong online presence.

[ ENGINE STARTS, TIRES SQUEAL ]

Agh!

Huh?!

Well, at least
we can sleep in the car.

Huh?!

Well, at least I've still got
my loving wife.

Huh?

Oh, come on!

[ PIGEONS COOING ]

Uh... what's going on?

DAD: [ WHIMPERS ]

Dad?!
What's happening?

The people in the store said
bald guys don't need combs,

so I gave them one star,
so they gave me one star.

What if I lose
that star, too?

What will people I don't know
on the Internet think about me?!

Dad, other people's opinions
don't matter.

Only our opinions matter.

That's why we made
the website!

Terrible logic.
One star!

Aah!
He's got a point,
Gumball.

Not supporting your brother.
One star.
[ SCREAMS ]

Just do nothing.

If you don't do anything,

you can't do
anything wrong,

and you can't get
a bad review.

Well, I guess
if nobody's moving,

nothing bad can happen,
right?

[ TIRES SQUEAL, ENGINE REVS ]
Terrible driver...
too fast!

Far too slow.

Too jerky!

Grating voice.
One star.

Typing while driving.
One star.

[ SCREAMS ]
Officer! Do something!

[ SNORTS ]
Nuh-unh!

I'm on two stars here.

One bad review, and I could be
busted down to traffic cop.

And then
I'd have to do something.

I've got it! We made the website
to give everything bad reviews,

but now
that's stopped everyone.

Maybe if we give the website
a bad review,

that will stop the website.

Clunky overwordy exposition.
Zero star...

Rude interruption!
One star!

BANANA BARBARA:
Terrible aftershave!

TAXI DRIVER: Stinks of Banana!
One star!

Larry!

[ TIRES SCREECH ]
Oh, what now?!

You're the only one
with a high-enough rating!

You've got to give the website
zero stars!

Sure. Right away.

Wait a minute!

I'll do it
on one condition.

Anything!

Someone has to admit
he's bald.

[ SIGHS ]
Of course.

I understand.

Darwin,
just tell him you're bald.

What?! I'm not bald!
I have a healthy head of scales!

Oh, come on!

[ SIGHING ]
Oh, you're right.

Gumball, just tell...
You! You! It's you!

Bald!
You are a bald!

I'm not bald!

Fine. Then I'll give the website
a five-star review,

and it will become
unstoppable!

BOTH: No!

DAD: [ GASPS ]

I'm not bald!

I'm not bald!

[ GOTHIC CHOIR SINGING ]

[ SCREAMING ]

[ BOTH SCREAM ]

Yay! I can go back to not caring
what anybody thinks!

Yay! I can go back
to treating

other people's mail
like garbage!

Yay!
I can get back to running!

Hooray.

[ BICYCLE BELL CLANGS ]

What the...
The website's down.

BOTH:
Yeah! You did it!

You gave it
zero stars!

Gah!
This is all your fault!

The sunlight bounced off
the top of your head!

How else could that happen
if you weren't bald?!

[ HUFFING ]

All right,
I'll admit it.

I'm ba...

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

Corrected & Synced by Bakugan