The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan (1972): Season 1, Episode 5 - Eye of the Idol - full transcript

[music playing]

¶ The Amazing Chan ¶

[buzzing]

¶ That's the Chan plan ¶

¶ The Amazing Chan
and the Chan Clan ¶

¶ The Amazing Chan ¶¶

[horn blows]

That whistle means the ship
is now ready to deliver to me

the idol with the jade eye.

My congratulations

and thank you for inviting me
and my children here
for the occasion.



Here they come now.

You are just in time
to see the most valuable
piece of jade in the world.

Great, convert Chan van
to grandstand.

If it's so valuable,

aren't you afraid
somebody will steal it?

Not the way this jewel
is guarded. Look.

Wow! Who are those guys?

They're Indians.

For once I'm glad
I'm not a cowboy.

I bet a crook wouldn't dare
come within a mile of here.

This is the captain
of the ship.

You know
my assistant Mr. Snively.

This is...

Lieutenant Morris
and I are old friends.



But it would seem
this is one time

no extra police
protection is needed.

Smoke. Quick, everybody out!

Grab the hose, guys.

What do you think
you're doing?

Put me down.

OK.

Where's the water?

Relax.
It was just a smoke device.

I put another basket
on top to smother it.

Good thinking, Tom.

The smoke should
clear away quickly.

Yes, the smoke is gone.

And also the eye
of the idol.

If they'd only
tell us what clues they have,

we could find the crook.

The way I read it,
it had to be one
of those Indian guards.

I'd sure like to get my hands
on one of those guys.

Then again,
maybe the butler did it.

Here comes pop
and the lieutenant.

Maybe we can learn something
if they don't know we're here.

And searching everybody
turned up nothing.

So the only clue
is the watchman's report

that a man with a mustache

wearing a dark suit was seen
around here earlier.

And he had a big dog
with him.

We've got to find that guy
in the dark suit with
the mustache.

We'll go by land.
You go by sea.

Look on that ship out there.

[imitates siren]

No siren this time, Chu Chu.
We wanna take him by surprise.

[whimpers]

Good. There's a boat down there.
Come on, Anne.

The rest of you wait here.

Tide's running
at about three knots.

I figure it should take about
five minutes to row out there.

It's gonna take a lot longer.

I assure you my figures
are perfect. What we
need is teamwork.

But first we need oars.

So here we are drifting
across the Pacific.

Where do you suppose
we'll end up?

I don't know, but I wish pop
had taught us more Chinese.

It might come in handy.

Hey, stop by that mailbox.

The crook just might have
gotten rid of the jewel
by mailing it to himself.

It's an old dodge,
but I'm wise to it.

Me and Mimi will check it out.
You two keep on looking.

OK, the smallest guy climbs up
and looks in.

I'm gonna start taking
more vitamins.

I get all
the half-pint assignments.

Whoops! I slipped.

Feel the letters. If there's
a lump in one, that's it.

The only lump is on me.

Uh-oh.

[Scooter]
Hey, cut it out!

A talking mailbox.

Uh... it's a new service.

Hey, wait a minute!

You forgot the stamp.

Thank you very much.

Beg your pardon.

I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to the mailbox.

There's nobody in here
but us letters. [laughs]

That's how we'll get out
to the ship.

I'm in. I'll ask the operator
to swing us out there.

All aboard for boarding.

Oh, swell.
Nobody at home.

[engine whirring]

- Not so fast!
- Yeah, slow down.

How do you work
this thing anyhow?

Hey, who's running
this gadget?
A sky-jacker?

I better get Alan
on the Chan-com before
we end up in Cuba.

Alan, come in, Alan.

We're off-course.
Let me talk to the operator.

You're talking to them.

Do something before we have
the first Chinese moon landing.

You'll be OK.
I'll turn the motor off.

I've been listening.
Where are you, Flip?

At 2,000 feet
in a butterfly net.

A butterfly net.

Stop. I just saw the crook.
There in that barbershop.

[tires screech]

It's a tight fit.
No problem.

See? He's about to have
his mustache shaved off

to change his appearance.

Now how do we capture him?

Simple. Chan plan two
should do it.

What are you doing
in that outfit?

I'm a plainclothesman.
Come on, I'll show you.

- Just back me up.
- Oh, boy.

Just a few questions, sir.

My name is Friday.
This is Sergeant Henry.

Better come along peacefully
'cause there's two of us.

At least there were two
of us when we came in.

So you're gonna
take me in, huh?

That's what he said.
Not me.

OK, let's go.

Well, Stanley,
any other bright ideas?

Wham bam,
we're in a jam.

We had quite a roundup
today, Mr. Chan.

These four were found
by Mr. Snively snagged
in a cargo net.

These two were picked up
adrift by the ship captain.

While this pair
was brought in by
the post office department.

The last two were brought in
by Officer Jones

or was Officer Jones
brought in by them?

It's always nice to
have a family reunion,

but not in a police station.

We were just trying
to crack the heist, Pop.

I'm sure they only
wanted to help. Right, kids?

- Affirmative.
- Elementary.

- Yeah.
- Sure.

- Right on.
- Of course.

- Correct.
- Yep. Honest.

- That's right.
- Snively's right.

No harm done.
You can all go.

Thank you, Lieutenant.
And to the word "go,"

I add two others...
straight home.

The black coat,
the mustache, the big dog,

that has to be the crook.

Everybody stay here.
He's mine.

I'll nab him,
slap the bracelets on him
and grab the ice.

Flip will need help.

Let's scoop up the crook
with van plan number 10.

Plan number 10 coming up.

OK, hot fingers.
You get one more phone call

to a lawyer
from the stationhouse.

We got him.
We got him!

Must be reporters.
Chan van.

Who's got the keys
to these handcuffs?

We'll go this way.
You go that way.

Look, he left his dog here.

Poor thing.
Let's take him home.

No, Scooter,
we already have a dog.

I know best.
Remember, I'm older than you.

By one grade in school.
That makes you a genius?

I wonder if they caught
the crook yet.

He went in there.
I saw the mustache.

Come on.

Quiet.

Here he goes.

You really oughta
go first, Henry.

What's the difference?

That's just the way
the real detectives go.
Alphabetical.

Oh, go on.

[shrieks]

Yikes!

Will you get off my lap?

Hey, look up there.

Lilly the Bearded Lady.

Do you kind of have
the feeling she may
not be our man?

Since he was with the crook,
I bet he knows where
the jewel is.

[barks]

Chu Chu, that's no way
to treat a guest.

All he does is scratch.

Let's give him a bubble bath.

Oh, great. I'm stuck here
given a bubble bath.

Why can't I ever get in
on the real action where
the crook is?

- [grunting]
- I can't move him.

He must be taking
his vitamins, too.

How are we ever gonna
get him in that tub?

[yelps]

I'll take off his collar.

[barks]

Look, the eye of the idol.

And someone's trying
to take it!

Come on,
we gotta help Chu Chu.

You stay here, Scooter,
and watch the big dog.

Here, Chu Chu!

Over here, Nancy.

He's got the eye
of the idol.

Wham bam, we're in a jam.

So that's how the thief
got the jewel out?

While we were busy
with the smoke,

he hid it in the dog collar.

I'll give this
to the lieutenant.
I'm meeting him aboard ship.

I'm sorry I let
the jewel get away, Pop.

It's not your fault,
Scooter.

And don't worry.
Justice will triumph.

So here we are.

No clues, no nothing
except an extra dog to feed.

Why not activate his canine
proclivity for recidivism

and pursue in his wake?

Turn the dog loose
and follow him home.
Great idea.

Big dog,
got good news for you.

Checked out your record.
You're clean.

Case dismissed.
You can go home.

How can we get him
to go home?

[growling]

[snarls]

Come on. After him!

There he goes.
Come on, Tom.

We'll follow you
in the Chan van.

The big dog's gone,
Chu Chu.

You can come down now.

Calling Chan van,
now at Elm Street.

You better wait here.
You won't be able
to keep up with me.

After all,
you're just a girl and...

And what?!

You coming?

Convert Chan van
to number 12.

The dog went on the ship.
The crook must be there, too.

Then we've got him cornered.

That's where pop
and the police lieutenant are.

Let's go tell 'em.

We can't. If the crook
sees us, he'd get suspicious.

That's right.
Wham bam, we're in a jam.

But if the crook sees
only another Indian guard,

he won't get suspicious.

E pluribus unum, pal.

Pop, the crook is right here
on this barge!

Funny.
That sounded like Stanley.

Looks like Stanley.

So it doesn't take
a detective to figure out

it's Stanley.

And you say the big dog
came up the gangplank?

That's right, Pop.

[barking]

What is all this?

Please pardon,
but the children think
thief is on this ship.

I agree. It was one
of those Indian guards.

They were standing
right next to the idol.

But they said that
during the fire,
a voice ordered them away

speaking Hindu.

Impossible. None of us
speaks a word of Hindu.

[sniffs]

Well, we'll be leaving now.

[speaking Hindu]

Then we'll never know
who the thief is.

But we do.
It's Mr. Snively here.

I just said "thank you"
in Hindu, and he
answered me in Hindu.

Oh, come, Mr. Chan.

Just one common word like that.
How could it be me?

Where's my mustache?

There's your mustache.

OK, you've got the answers,

but I've still got the jewel.

He's getting away.

I don't think so.
We've been expecting
something like this.

[speaks Hindu]

So nice of you to come back.
Thank you.

Or rather...
[speaks Hindu]

Even the dog seems to be happy
it's all over.

We're gonna find
it a good home

where the people won't
lock it in a closet
like Mr. Snively did.

Pop, would you do me a favor?

Can I have Mr. Snively's
mustache?

But why do you want a mustache?

Because then Mimi will think
I'm older

and she won't
boss me anymore.

Hey, little boy.
You're in my seat.

[music playing]