The Affair (2014–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - 210 - full transcript
Noah grapples with essential questions. Alison begins to doubt a recent ambition, and renewed interactions with the Lockhart brothers force her to consider harrowing possibility.
[Noah]
Previously on The Affair...
[Cole] What's going on?
Did something happen?
Did he do something?
I'm sorry,
I shouldn't be here.
- I should be going.
- Hey, stop, don't...
- You fucked her, didn't you?
- This is not...
[Alison] Cole!
[man]
What is it you do, Alison?
Uh, at the moment, just this.
[Noah] Did you ever
think about leaving?
[Alison]
Yeah.
When I was younger,
I wanted to be a doctor.
You did?
Hey, hey, hey!
Here he is!
The new bad boy
of American letters.
Some people calling you
the voice of your generation.
There's a guest bedroom
upstairs at the end of the hall.
Come meet me there
in 15 minutes.
- Dad, what the fuck?
- Oh, shit!
Did you manage to get
a hold of him?
Service is out everywhere
with the hurricane.
Let's focus on you
and that baby.
I can't do this alone.
I can't do...
Your husband is finally here.
Should I show him in?
Not yet.
♪ I was screaming
into the canyon ♪
♪ At the moment of my death ♪
♪ The echo I created ♪
♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪
♪ My voice
it made an avalanche ♪
♪ And buried a man
I never knew ♪
♪ And when he died
his widowed bride ♪
♪ Met your daddy
and they made you ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do
and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am
and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do
and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am
and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do
and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am
and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the o ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the o ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪♪
[Gottlief]
Holy crap.
They said this was
gonna be a circus,
but this... you know what,
fuck the construction.
Go around the back.
It's fine.
Just pull up here.
- Noah.
- [Gottlief] Are you sure?
I'm good.
[Gottlief]
All right, then.
Here we go.
Stick right behind me.
Don't talk to anyone,
don't look at anyone.
[crowd clamoring]
[crowd clamoring]
Excuse us,
excuse us.
Please, please back up.
[reporter]
Are you expecting...
- ...a quick trial?
- Please, not now.
Jury's three quarters female.
Is that a good thing?
[Gottlief] No questions now.
I'm sorry.
Excuse us.
Excuse us, please.
Sign my book.
Excuse me, please.
[man]
Fuck you, Solloway.
_
Hey, Ali, uh, just wondering
if you got my texts.
It's, uh, 12 minutes
past two.
So, uh, just checking
you're okay,
and wondering if you want us
to start without you,
or if you, uh, if I should
just... I don't know,
make a run for it
and go see Captain America.
Marilyn's staring at me,
so, uh, help,
she's gonna make me talk.
Uh, uh, love you.
I don't know where she is.
Maybe she's in the subway
or something.
I'm sure she'll turn up.
You seem tired.
Uh, I am.
Baby was up again.
4:50, her time of choice.
That's no fun.
Uh, God, it's abysmal.
You're out cold,
dreaming sweetly,
and this little voice
that's somehow so loud,
"Mama, Mama."
I didn't know she was talking.
Yeah, I can't get her to say
"Dada" to save my life,
but that's okay.
Still love her.
I guess.
[chuckles]
Nothing?
No, no.
She has a midterm tomorrow.
She probably stayed
behind after class
and, uh, asked some questions.
Who knows?
Yes, she mentioned last week
that she was nervous about it.
Yeah, I keep telling her
she shouldn't be.
I mean, she... she's gonna be
a great doctor.
I can't understand why
she's so hard on herself.
- She...
- You can't?
Really?
[nervous chuckle]
Should we just reschedule?
I mean, I'm not gonna...
I'm not gonna talk about it
without her being here.
Why not?
It's couple's therapy.
Yes.
Doesn't that by definition
require two people?
Generally, yes, but...
Truth is, it's too bad.
I was actually looking forward
to coming in for once.
You don't always?
[laughs]
I don't know.
I've been thinking maybe we...
maybe we've hit a...
hit a plateau.
Started repeating ourselves
and we've gotten
past the crisis,
we're basically doing well.
And today?
What?
You just said
today was different.
That you wanted to come.
Right.
But maybe you've
changed your mind.
[laughs]
You know, Noah, I'm not
gonna chain you to my couch.
That wouldn't be
very professional.
Let's reschedule
if you want to.
Um...
You could come
Wednesday instead.
I have a 3:15.
Uh, I can't.
I got to take Trevor
to the eye doctor.
He's getting glasses.
Okay.
You know, this whole week
is gonna be tough
'cause, uh, Helen and Vik
went to Africa,
and we got the kids till Sunday.
Helen and Vik
went to Africa?
On safari.
Go figure.
Your ex-wife took off
with her boyfriend
and you have the children
for a whole week?
Is that part of what
you wanted to talk about
with Alison?
No, no.
I'm... I'm happy for Helen.
Well, Vik seems like
a decent guy.
I mean, he's a bit strange,
but that's okay.
Seems to make Helen happy.
Wonderful.
Well, I guess I'll, uh...
I'll go and, uh...
...I'll call you to reschedule.
Okay.
Enjoy your movie.
Ah, fuck it.
This is what I wanted to...
I was hoping we could
deal with.
You're divorced.
It's official.
Hmm.
It came two weeks ago, and...
...I haven't shown it
to Alison yet.
I keep thinking
about Cold Spring.
If I got this letter back then,
I'd have grabbed her
and run to City Hall
immediately.
And now?
I don't know,
if there's one thing
I've learned this past year
and through all this,
it's to think before I act.
Just want to be certain
we're ready.
Do you feel that you're not?
I think I am.
But not Alison?
So what do you think
she might say
if she were here,
if you showed her this?
I don't know.
That's my point.
Are you afraid
she might say no?
That she doesn't
want to get married?
Build a life together?
Because we've... we've talked
about that a lot in here,
these issues of trust.
And it's taken a while,
but I think Alison...
I catch her staring at me.
Sorry?
With Joanie.
I...it happens all the time.
I'm feeding her cereal
or getting her dressed,
and I... I see Alison
watching us.
And it's not just looking.
It's like she's trying to
figure something out.
What?
I don't know.
Whether or not
I want the baby.
I mean, I understand
why she's doing it.
What I did was terrible.
Not making it back
for the birth.
You know, she probably
should've left me then.
I would've left me.
But she didn't.
I know, and I'm incredibly
grateful for that,
and I spent this entire year
trying to make it up to her.
I changed a thousand diapers,
I taught myself to cook,
I washed the dishes,
I folded the laundry,
I've barely written
a fucking word,
all to try to prove to her
how sorry I am
for my insanity.
You've done a tremendous
amount, Noah.
I think Alison knows that.
Except that isn't enough.
Why isn't it enough?
I don't know.
It's just how I feel
when she's looking at me.
Okay, can we...
no more phone.
Let's stick with this
for a minute.
Let's look at
these looks.
You feel some sort of
judgment from Alison?
I guess.
This isn't the first time
you've brought this up in here.
I remember you said something
similar about Whitney.
I did?
Yes, how the last time
you saw her,
she looked at you
with tremendous scorn.
Disappointment.
And then there was
the way you described
how Helen looked at you
when you first told her
about Alison.
I don't understand
where you're going with this.
So these three women
in your life,
you describe as looking at you
in similar ways.
With... With judgment.
For very different reasons.
Okay, but I'm just wondering
if there might be some
connection between them
that we should explore.
Like what?
I'm not sure.
Does anything come to mind
for you?
I want to fuck Lucy Koskoff.
Who's Lucy Koskoff?
She's my student.
She's my best student, in fact.
[sighs]
Damn it.
She's 26, she's hugely talented,
she comes to my office hours
and brings me chapters
from her novel.
She wants to talk
about my novel.
And she's also
made it very clear
that she'd sleep with me
at the drop of a hat.
In fact, I'm meeting her
today at four
to talk over her rewrites.
I know I shouldn't go, but I
can't bring myself to cancel.
Talk about judgmental stares.
I'm not judging, Noah.
I'm just thinking.
Well, don't... just...
just say something.
What would you
like me to say?
Anything, I'd...
[sighs]
I want you to tell me
what we're doing here.
What all this
is for, really?
All this talking
and listening...
Even if I understand,
I... I grasp
all the deep
and painful reasons
why I did what I did
and I want what I want.
I felt dismissed as a writer,
I've held back
in my marriage.
I was craving
acknowledgement, success.
I mean, what does it mean
for me to know all that
if I still just
end up wishing
Lucy would quit
talking metaphors
so I could take off
all her clothes
and just bend her
over my desk?
She isn't the first,
I'm guessing.
What?
Ms. Koskoff can't be
the first woman
you've wanted to cheat with.
You were attracted
to other people
during your 20 years
with Helen.
You say that
like it's a fact.
Oh, then you weren't?
Well, of course I was.
And did you ever
act on it?
No.
You know that.
No, I was faithful
except for Alison.
Then why are you so afraid
you would act on it now?
Because it's different.
Because of Alison, because
you've already done it once.
This is not uncommon
in people whose relationships
began as affairs.
This fear that because
you've strayed once,
you might do it again.
I almost did.
You almost had sex with Lucy?
No, no, not with Lucy, with...
with my publicist, Eden.
That goddamn night
of the hurricane.
The one we've been
over and over and over.
I...well, I...
I left things out.
Yes.
Wait, you knew?
She'd been after me for months.
I kept turning her down,
and then it was the end
of the book tour.
The rain was coming down
sideways,
and we were trapped,
so I...
...I was... I was
ready to do it.
But you didn't.
No.
You stopped yourself.
She went to find us a room,
and I saw these...
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Are you okay?
[sighs]
I saw these two girls
in a hot tub
and I was turned on,
and I was staring at them.
Noah, you do know
I have heard it all.
It was Whitney.
It was my fucking
daughter, I...
just as my new daughter
was being born.
Ugh.
And, I, uh...
it's the last time I saw her.
I ran away.
I left my daughter there,
and I just...
...took off.
So, you see, I didn't
stop myself.
I wouldn't have done.
Because I am a
terrible, terrible,
fucking sick, bad guy.
[inhales deeply]
Oh, fuck.
So do you think this is
why you haven't shown
the divorce papers to Alison?
That these...
these feelings you have
about Alison judging you,
not trusting you, that they
really have more to do with
your not trusting yourself?
The thing about that night,
uh,
as it was going on,
I remember saying to myself,
"It'll... it's okay," you know.
"It'll be okay."
And what does that mean?
Sleeping with Eden,
I knew I was gonna do it.
It was as if I'd
given myself permission.
I'd already forgiven myself.
It wasn't until
I saw Whitney
that I fucking woke up.
And then I... suddenly,
I just had to get out of there.
I didn't want anyone
to see me. It was...
you know that expression,
"I wanted to die"?
I wanted to die.
You wanted to die
rather than face yourself?
Yeah.
You know, Noah,
we have never talked about
your childhood in here.
Ugh.
What?
Now you're gonna shrink me?
Am I going to
psychoanalyze you?
Please don't.
I am curious.
Was your father
faithful to your mother?
[laughs]
That's funny?
Was he not?
My father was the only
faithful trucker
on the eastern seaboard.
The night of my wedding
to Helen,
my father drank six whiskeys.
And he said to Bruce...
Bruce is?
He's my, um, my father-in-law.
My ex father-in-law.
He's a novelist.
My father told him
he was also an artist,
but he gave up in his 40s
to take care of his sick wife.
And is that not true?
No, it's not fucking true.
I cared for his sick wife.
The man did nothing.
I mean, he was an okay husband
until the symptoms got bad,
and then he just checked out.
My sister and I
did everything.
And then she left,
and so it was just me.
Every injection,
every appointment,
giving her baths,
massaging her legs,
and in the end,
changing her diapers
and all the while
he drove his stupid truck
and then watched TV
and drank beer
until he passed out.
Every night.
And he dares tell me
that he loved his wife.
He never cheated.
He genuinely thinks he's a...
he's a... he's a fucking hero.
A good man 'cause he never
stuck his dick in any other...
He was a drunk,
a delinquent father,
and a terrible husband.
And I'm the one
who's cast as villain.
The one who cared
for my mother.
I was there for my children,
and I loved my wife
for 20 years until
I made one mistake.
[deeply inhales]
Sorry, that didn't
come out right.
I don't mean Alison
was a mistake.
No, I understand.
Fuck him.
If that's what being a good man
is, I don't want any part of it.
[sighs]
It makes sense to me,
given the history
you described,
that you might've
developed a skepticism
about fidelity
as a virtue.
Is that fair to say?
I guess.
And that your connection
to Alison and...
and your attraction
to Lucy,
to you, are...
...connected in some way
to your father's hypocrisy.
I think things
are only that simple
in this office, Marilyn.
I think the rest of the time,
we live a complicated,
multifaceted mess,
basically.
You think I haven't
thought about this before?
"I'm angry at my father,
so I cheat."
You know, I'm sorry,
I just don't think
people are that easy
to figure out.
That's fair enough.
I think about these questions,
why people live the way
they do, all the time.
You do?
Yes, I...
Helen once told me that
when she reads obituaries,
she's looking for whether the
person loved and was loved.
Did they have a family,
were they married long,
did they have children,
grandchildren?
And it kind of blew
my mind at the time,
'cause it never
occurred to me
to judge someone
by their family.
Instead, you're looking
at what?
What they... what they did.
Meaning their work,
their accomplishments?
- Yes.
- And yet, there's something
about what Helen said
that stayed with you,
that... that makes you think
she might be on to something.
I just think there are
so many different matrices
by which to measure
a man's worth,
and I... I don't know
which is right.
I'm writing a whole book
about this question.
At least, I'm trying to.
- Your new novel?
- Yeah.
You haven't talked
about that much in here.
Except to say that
it's very different.
It's a real departure
from Descent.
- Right.
- It's historical, right?
- It's World War II?
- Right.
With no women in it?
Did I say that?
You said that you
wanted to be sure
it had nothing to do
with personal relationships.
So there wouldn't be
anything or anyone
that Alison
might think was her.
Well, I was joking.
Kind of.
No, I started off
writing a war story,
and well, it still
is that, essentially.
Can you tell me
a little bit about it?
Do you know who
Omar Bradley is?
Uh, it sounds familiar.
He's a... he's a war hero.
He was a five-star general.
He was the commander of
the First Army at Normandy.
Ah.
The book is based on
his life.
I mean, it's fiction,
but he was fascinating.
He was a great man.
He led this extraordinary,
significant life.
You'd have to write
two or three books
just to cover half
of his achievements.
I spent half
of chapter two
writing about one meeting
he had with Montgomery,
and then I got to
page 65, and...
What happened on page 65?
Marlene Dietrich.
What?
I was gonna leave her out,
but then I just...
I don't know, she somehow
appeared on my screen.
She just appeared?
On her own?
Uh, no.
And then seduced
your main character?
Did you make
this up, or...
No, no, no, no, it happened.
Well, it was rumored to.
There are photos
of them together.
And Bradley was married,
I'm guessing.
For 49 years.
To the girl across the street.
But you see, that's...
that's who he was.
He wasn't just some
fearless leader,
some cartoon Captain America,
he was... he was flawed,
and imperfect, and selfish,
and that, I now realize is
what makes the book compelling.
It's the center of all of it.
What do we make of this guy?
Does the fact
that he had sex
with a movie star
outside marriage,
does that somehow negate
all of his achievements?
Or do those traits
that made him cheat...
ego, intensity, drive...
do they also
lead him to achieve?
Those are some big questions.
Well, I mean, it's
a very big book.
And I hope it's
an important one.
If I could only
fucking finish it.
Are you having trouble?
No, I'm not having trouble.
I just...
Well, the problem is
I don't have any time.
Between the teaching
and the baby, and...
...I need to do
more research.
I need to go to France
and spend six or eight weeks
and see where he lived, and
he fought, and he fucked and...
So why not go?
Buy a ticket.
I'm sure you could
figure it out.
No, Alison's program
is accelerated,
so she's got courses all summer
and the soonest I can get away
is... I don't even fucking know.
Fifteen months?
That's frustrating.
When I go I need... I need
time to write the thing.
I mean, a book like this,
it takes concentration.
Real focus.
It's not some
piece of pulp you can
pump out in ten weeks.
Like Descent, you mean?
Descent is what it is.
It was... It was...
It was... it did
amazingly well.
But I've known for a while
I wanted to take the next step.
I wanted to do something
bigger with real scope.
Something serious
and significant.
So do you notice
that the words you use
to describe Bradley's life...
"big," "significant," "great"...
you're now using them
to describe your new book.
Well, he's the subject
of the book.
But what I'm interested in
is how this subject relates
to your own life.
In your mind.
[sighs]
I want to know...
I want to know if it's possible,
really possible to be both.
Both?
A good man and a great man.
And by good, you mean?
Well, the way Helen reads
the obituaries, you know,
for long-lasting marriages,
for virtue, basically,
monogamy, partnership, love.
I mean, do the men who
Helen thinks led good lives,
how many of them
also had great lives?
Depends on what you mean
by great.
Would General Bradley
have conquered Normandy
if he'd been home
changing diapers?
I'm serious.
You look at the way
this guy led his life.
He went out in the world
and he followed
his instincts,
and he took
whatever he wanted.
Maybe he was narcissistic,
maybe Mary was unhappy,
but his life had consequence.
He basically won
the war for us.
So do we judge him for
his absence for his family
and his infidelity, or
do we just let that slide,
because what does it matter
at the end?
The guy stopped Hitler.
What does it matter to whom?
There's a certain type of man
that history reveres.
We see it over and over.
Jefferson, Hamilton, Picasso,
Hemingway,
all of them cheaters.
It's like they have
this bald desire,
this... this willingness
to take whatever they want,
that ends up
making them remarkable.
But again, I want to understand
how this connects to you.
What if, I mean, what if?
What if I... What if I have it
in me to be great?
What if the only thing
that separates me
from Ernest Hemingway is
that he never had to choose?
He... He... He just gave
himself permission to do
whatever the fuck he wanted
in the name of his work
and he didn't care
who he made suffer.
And he blew out
his brains at 60.
[laughs]
Well, what does that mean?
You tell me.
It's one minute
to three, Noah.
Is it?
But before we stop,
I'd like to return
to where we were
at the start
of the session.
You have some questions
to answer with Alison.
Are you ready to tell her
your divorce is finalized?
And do you actually
want to move forward
with your second marriage?
I know I want to be
a good husband,
I want to be... I want
to be a good partner
and a good father,
and I love having a family,
um, and a home
and people who depend on me,
but I know that in my gut.
But I also
want to go to France,
and... for two years,
and fuck whoever
and feel alive again,
and write a great novel.
What I do not want
is to be dishonest.
I tried that
and I hate myself for it.
I...if there's one thing
I could change,
I do not want to lie...
...to myself or anyone else.
[sighs]
I think that's
admirable, Noah.
I really do.
And we're at time.
So you're gonna be
in here again with Alison,
but before that, I think
it's worth taking the time
to look beyond Bradley,
beyond Jefferson,
beyond whoever.
To another list.
A list of men
who did remarkable things
and remained loyal partners.
We hear about them less,
but they're out there too.
I know that, of course.
And conversely,
what about the average guys?
The dentists and accountants
who cheat on their wives?
A few of them sit right
where you're sitting.
Every week.
How do they fit
into your theory?
You could be in France
right now
with a sitter
minding Joanie.
And you didn't
have to tell me about
your appointment with Lucy.
And the very fact
that you stayed today,
and that you're struggling
with these issues,
to me, that says volumes
about who you really are.
Great, so who am I?
Thank you for the talk.
Thank you for staying.
Oh, hey.
Hey, I'll take over.
You go study.
No, it's okay.
I'm almost done.
Here you go.
Hey, I'm sorry
about missing therapy.
I...I don't know
how I forgot.
It's all right.
Class stressed me out
reviewing things
I thought I knew,
but then I didn't, and...
It's fine.
Actually good to have
some time on my own.
Got myself all figured out.
Oh, yeah? Do tell.
[chuckles]
Maybe later.
[Alison giggles]
[Gottlief]
All of us are human.
We all want answers
to our questions.
We want endings to our stories.
In 2014 alone
in the United States of America,
884 people were killed
in hit-and-run accidents.
Only one in five of those cases
ended in arrest.
Only 20% of victims' families
got the answers
they were looking for.
Now, this is just the beginning
of our time together,
but I want to ask
something of you.
I want to ask each of you
to consider
the very real possibility,
the 80% possibility
that whomever
hit Scott Lockhart that night
and heartlessly
kept on driving,
might not be
in this courtroom today.
In the coming days and weeks,
we are going to learn
a great deal
about the troubled life
of Scott Lockhart.
The customers to whom
he sold cocaine,
the suppliers from whom
he bought that cocaine,
and also about
the many, many women
with which he had...
shall we say,
brief entanglements.
Scotty's own brother, Cole,
married one of these women
at a wedding which took place
the very same night
that Scotty died.
Now, the prosecution
will try to convince you
that this couldn't possibly
have been an accident.
Well, there were
many, many people
who had palpable tensions
with Scott Lockhart.
Many, many people
who had motives
far more realistic than those
assigned to my client.
I want you to just
take note of the crowd
outside this courtroom today.
My client is what we call
a scapegoat,
skewered by a community
who doesn't like
what he wrote about them.
The callous outsider.
The unscrupulous author.
This is a man of fiction.
Someone easy
to point fingers at
when you're searching
for a villain.
Yet this character,
bears absolutely
no resemblance
to the person
sitting next to me,
someone who you will
come to know
as a devoted father,
committed husband,
a hard-working
teacher and writer,
and someone who is
incapable of murder.
And someone who,
at his very essence,
is a good man.
_
[baby mobile playing
tranquil tune]
♪♪
[police siren wailing]
Shh.
She go back down?
Thank God.
Next time it's you.
She doesn't want me.
She wants her Mama.
Shh, sleep.
Mmm.
[sighs]
[long exhale]
[sighs]
Hmm.
[Nuñez]
You have to invest ATP
in the beginning,
in order to gain ATP
towards the end.
At Step 7 is where
the pay off begins.
In this stage, you gain
back the two ATPs,
the metabolic energy
you spent earlier.
The two units of
1,3-bisphosphoglycerate
we receive in Step 6,
are now converted
into two units of
3-phosphoglycerate.
This reaction
is catalyzed...
Oh, shit, sorry.
...by phosphoglycerate
kinase.
For those of you now having
mild panic attacks,
a friendly reminder:
because of the switch
in our syllabus, neither
glycolysis nor enzyme kinetics
will be covered
on tomorrow's midterm.
- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!
Okay, let's take
a five minute break.
When we come back
we can do some review.
I know a few of you wanted to
go back over protein folding.
And you can ask
any other questions
pertaining to the test.
[students chattering]
Uh, Andrew?
Hey, I'm sorry.
You caught me snacking.
[chuckles]
Cheddar pop chip?
Oh, no.
No, thank you.
Um, I was just wondering
if you could tell me, uh,
what the last day
to drop this class is.
You're wanting to drop
the class?
Uh, well, I'm not sure,
but I'm... I'm...
Am I that
incomprehensible?
[chuckles]
No.
"Stultifyingly" dull.
No, it's nothing like that.
I just, uh,
I somehow thought
this was gonna be
easier, you know?
I have a one-year-old
at home,
and I... I haven't
been sleeping.
You're Alison Bailey,
right?
You're my... You're my
continuing ed student.
Yeah. Yeah, that's me.
You're an RN?
Right.
So a lot of this stuff
isn't new to you.
No, it's not all that new.
It's just been a long time.
It's been a really,
long time and I...
Um, I just want to know
what the deadline is.
Tomorrow, actually.
The halfway mark.
If you withdraw after that,
you get a W
on your transcript,
still pay full tuition.
Ah, okay, thank you.
[student]
Hey, could I ask...
Just one second, buddy.
Alison? If your plan
is to go to med school,
I really encourage you
to continue.
The longer you wait,
the harder it may be
to jump back in.
Sorry, what's up?
[student]
Had a question about Chapter 4.
[Nuñez]
All right, people.
Tomorrow, 30 questions.
20 multiple choice,
10 written,
no calculators allowed.
You'll get periodic tables.
Please, do not pull
an all-nighter
for this one, guys.
There's no need
to drown yourself
in caffeine
for my sake.
If you paid attention
in class,
and done the work,
you'll do well.
It's that simple.
All right?
Questions?
Uh, you in the back.
[student speaking indistinctly]
[♪ soft music ♪]
♪♪
[Scotty]
Alison!
Hey, city lady.
Scotty.
Man, y... you look
friggin' fantastic.
- Come here, come on.
- Wh... oh.
[Scotty chuckles]
Well, I... I don't,
but anyway...
Wh... is everything okay?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Everything's great.
Everyone is great.
I, um, I've got a business
proposal for you.
Uh, a... sorry?
How about we go up?
Can I come up?
Uh, wh... I don't... my...
well, my daughter
might be napping.
- She sometimes goes down early.
- No, no, no, that's...
that right.
That's... that's cool.
That's, uh, nice.
So, huh.
How about stepping
into my office, then?
Hmm? Ten minutes.
That's all I need, okay?
Come on.
[chuckles]
Why are you looking at me
like I'm gonna bite you?
Come on, it... Ali, it's me.
Just have a seat.
Come on, come on.
Okay.
[quick exhale]
Okay, you ready?
Yeah.
The Lobster Roll.
What about it?
I want to buy it.
With you.
[laughs]
What?
Don't laugh.
I...
You shouldn't be laughing.
What?
Is it even for sale?
Yeah, it's about to be.
[stuttering]
I don't know
when the last time
you saw the place was,
but it's a wreck.
Oscar never fixed it up
after the hurricane.
The awnings are trashed,
they're hanging off it.
I went in for a piece of pie
the other day,
the apple rhubarb.
Inedible.
Oscar's bankrupt.
He's... He's he... he is
this close to foreclosure.
And he's already lost
the other property.
So The Roll's gonna
go back to bank.
I'm betting that
we can grab it up
for 1.8, probably
even less.
Look, I... I... I... I
I've got an investor
for half of it, right?
He's a Wall Street guy,
but he's a decent guy.
You throw in
the other half, golden.
You don't look
good to me, Scotty.
Ah, you... you... you
worry too much, Ali.
Come on, you always have.
I'm doing fine.
I'm fine.
Of course,
I will be doing much better
when we open our nightclub.
Our nightclub?
That's fun, right?
Plus, it's fucking lucrative.
I have all the specs
worked out.
You wouldn't
have to do a thing.
Just... Just take a look,
at least.
Come on.
I can't help you.
I'm sorry.
- You got to, actually.
- Well, I can't.
Oh, come on,
Scotty, this is...
No, you come on!
I mean, what the hell, Ali?
Look at where
you're living, huh?
Look at this fucking
shiny tower, huh?
Don't tell me that
you don't have the money!
Well, it isn't mine.
What, it's Noah's?
The renowned author,
Noah Solloway, huh?
Look, first of all,
I know you've got the cash
because I know what
you sold your house for.
Second of all, whatever
money that asshole has,
whatever massive
fucking fortune
he earned off that book,
he fucking owes
to our family.
- Okay, I'm going up.
- It's tragic! Chapter 8, huh?
All that crap
about the feud,
[stuttering]
the dealing, you know what?
It had consequences.
Yeah, will you stop?
Every idiot in Montauk
bought and read
that piece of shit,
including Officer Skerry.
You remember him,
huh, Evan?
Evan came down
to the fucking dock
and he told me that he was
done with our arrangement.
He couldn't cover me anymore.
Game over.
So you're done
dealing drugs?
Yeah.
You still taking them?
Huh?
[Gigi]
Look, honey, there's Mama!
Hey.
[Joanie cooing]
Hey, hi.
- Look who it is.
- Hi, sweetheart.
You're back early.
Uh, yeah, yeah, I am.
I, uh, I ran into
a friend of mine.
Uh, Scotty,
this is Gigi.
[Gigi]
Hi.
Is this your daughter?
Yeah, this is Joanie.
Hi, Joanie.
Uh, Gigi, I think...
[Scotty]
She's beautiful.
[Gigi]
Oh, isn't she, though?
Everybody says
she looks like Alison,
but to me she looks
like her daddy.
[♪ tense music ♪]
♪♪
Yeah.
Yeah, she does to me, too.
♪♪
Yeah, I, uh, I think
it's time to go up, right?
- [Gigi] Okay.
- [Scotty] Right, right.
I'll let you, um...
I'll let you go
with her then.
Um...
...it's great
to see you, Ali.
♪♪
I'm glad I came.
♪♪
[Gigi]
Bring her up now, then?
Are we taking her in, then?
Do you want... do you want
to put her down, or...
Could you, uh, could you...
could you stay
a little longer than 4:00?
Uh, yeah, okay.
Thank you, that's...
♪♪
[phone ringing]
Oh, shit.
♪♪
[Cole]
Hey.
Hi.
So, uh, your call.
Should we hug or do we...
Uh...
- Hi, it's good to see you.
- Yeah.
You too.
I got to admit,
I was surprised
when I saw your number
come up on my phone.
Yeah, I know.
Jane had told me
you moved to Greenpoint.
I wasn't sure
I believed her.
And yet, here I am.
Here you are.
- [Cole] Hey, Reggie?
- [Reggie] Yeah?
[Cole] Can we get my friend,
Alison, here a drink?
Sure, what would you like
today, friend Alison?
Uh, a Blanton neat, please.
[Cole]
Really?
Blanton neat.
And, uh,
and some olives too.
Hmm, addict.
You got to try these things,
they're amazing.
I don't know what
they put on them,
but they are great.
It's, like,
crack or something.
Seems like you
come here a lot.
Well, yeah,
Luisa's restaurant's
right across the street.
The one with
the brown awnings.
That's her restaurant?
Yeah, I mean,
it's not hers, hers.
She's the manager,
so I come here, hang out,
I try not to
get in the way.
[awkward laughter]
She's off in 15 minutes.
You get to meet her.
Oh, great.
So, uh, what have you
been doing?
You working?
Uh, yeah, in...
[laughs] her cousin's
in construction
so I've been picking up odd jobs
with him here and there.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well, do you... do you need
to be doing that? I mean,
I know you haven't touched
the money from the house.
It's still
sitting in escrow.
It's 'cause it's
your money, Alison.
I don't want it.
Look, I've taken mine out.
The rest is yours.
If you leave it there,
it's gonna stay there forever.
You know, I actually
like this work.
Good for me to be working
with my hands again.
And I'm picking up
some Spanish.
Oh, yeah?
Turns out
I'm not too bad at it.
Okay.
Say something.
- In Spanish?
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, uh...
Me voy a casar.
Nice.
Uh, and that means?
It means I'm getting married.
Oh, God, wow.
- Cole, that's...
- Yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
I know it's fast, but...
No.
No, no, it's great.
It's... It's wonderful.
Thanks, Ali.
You look happy.
Yeah, I am.
[laughs]
Yeah.
I really am.
How you doing?
Me? Uh, yeah, well,
I mean, I'm good.
I'm... well, I'm... I'm...
I'm busy, you know?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
I mean, with the kid,
it must be.
Yeah.
How's she doing?
Yeah, she's...
she's great.
Hmm, that's good to hear.
She's got to be getting old now.
Yeah, yeah, she's almost a year.
Oh.
[Reggie]
Blanton neat for you.
Thank you, that's...
- And your daily fix, sir.
- Thank you.
[Reggie]
Anything else?
Uh, no, no, I'm fine.
I just...
[Cole]
We're good, Reg.
[Reggie]
All right, I'll be here.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Mmm, you're right.
That's a... That's a good olive.
Right?
So...
[sighs]
What did you want
to see me about?
Uh...
I, um...
You okay?
Is everything all right?
Did something bad happen?
Uh...
I saw Scotty this morning.
[sighs]
Yeah?
Yeah, he was waiting
outside my apartment.
He didn't look
so good, Cole.
He...
Is that it?
That's all you want
to tell me?
Yeah. Yeah, well, he... he...
I mean, he didn't look well.
He was... He was strung out,
like, almost manic,
and he had some plan about
buying The Lobster Roll,
and wanted me to
go in with him.
That's been his plan
for a while now.
Well, I don't know
if he's using, but...
I'm sure that he is.
And you... you don't care?
No, I do not care.
Not anymore.
I can't tell you how
fucking good it feels
to stop having to care
about my family and their
spectacular dysfunction
all the time,
to worry about me and my
life for a little while.
So Scotty can snort his
life away for all I care.
And he can buy
The Lobster Roll,
he can build that heinous
monstrosity of a nightclub
and really do whatever
the fuck he wants.
I mean, it's not like he's
gonna get that money anyway.
Or that The Lobster Roll
is even for sale.
Well, no, it's...
it's in foreclosure.
Really?
Or it's about to be,
I mean, that's what he said.
He said it... it...
he said it's closing.
God, I hated hearing that.
Yeah.
You remember your birthday
when we went there?
- It was late, like,
- Oh.
I don't know,
3:00 in the morning.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- We were all
completely stoned
out of our trees.
Which birthday was that?
That was my 16th.
That's right, your Sweet 16.
How did we get in?
Did we break in?
No, I had keys.
I used to open...
- ...on Sunday mornings.
- Yeah, that's right.
That's right,
and we go in,
and you pull out that
huge vat of ice cream.
And then Scotty burnt his hand.
What?
Oh, yeah, Scotty burnt the
shit out of his hand...
- ...in the fryer.
- Oh, oh, my God.
I'd completely forgotten that.
[both laughing]
Ah, shit.
That used to be a great place.
Yeah.
[door opens, creaks]
Hey, you're done.
Alison?
Hi, Luisa, hi.
- How are you?
- Uh, yeah, I'm good.
- So how was work?
- You know, it was good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Oh, uh, congratulations.
Cole told me
about the engagement.
Oh, thank you.
I'm really happy
for you and him.
Yeah, it's kind of
surprising, huh?
Cole Lockhart
living in the city.
Kind of surprising?
[laughs]
This is good for him.
You know, a new start.
Yeah, uh, well, I... I...
I better be going.
My, uh, you know,
sitter's, like, waiting.
- Right.
- Uh, let me just...
...get some money
for this.
No, no, don't worry.
I got it.
Cole, come on,
please, I just...
[Cole]
Alison,
I got it.
Okay, thank you.
Well, it was nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Bye.
[inaudible]
[Trevor]
I'm ahead of you.
Hey, guys.
What are you doing?
We're skiing.
Want a turn?
No, I'm okay.
Keep warm, though.
[Noah]
Oh, my God.
No, let me take that.
- [Joanie cooing]
- [Noah] Yeah.
Sorry.
Good girl.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey.
Hey, you cooked.
[gasps]
Where the hell were you?
You missed therapy.
I know, I'm sorry.
Hey, sweetie.
How are you?
[sighs]
I'm really sorry.
I completely screwed up.
I went to class,
and then I...
It's fine.
I figured you
weren't coming,
so I left and went
to a movie.
What movie?
Captain America.
Listen, I've been thinking
maybe we should quit therapy.
You want to stop?
Don't you?
We've kind of run out
of things to talk about.
Aren't we all happy again?
Hmm?
Yeah, we are.
Hey, hmm.
Come on, let's eat.
[breathing heavily]
I love you.
I love you.
I love you,
I love you.
I love you.
[moans]
[passionate sighing]
[moaning]
I love you.
I love you.
[both moaning]
[Joanie]
Dada.
Was that her?
I think so.
[Joanie]
Dada.
What'd she say?
[Joanie]
Dada.
[both chuckle]
[Joanie cooing]
Go, go.
[Joanie]
Dada.
[Noah]
Yes, where's my Joanie?
- Dada.
- Did you say Dada?
We're back in two minutes,
and this just came back
from the lab.
Reed drove it out here.
Open it.
[♪ dramatic music ♪]
♪♪
My, oh, my, oh, my.
♪♪
[♪ dramatic music ♪]
♪♪
Previously on The Affair...
[Cole] What's going on?
Did something happen?
Did he do something?
I'm sorry,
I shouldn't be here.
- I should be going.
- Hey, stop, don't...
- You fucked her, didn't you?
- This is not...
[Alison] Cole!
[man]
What is it you do, Alison?
Uh, at the moment, just this.
[Noah] Did you ever
think about leaving?
[Alison]
Yeah.
When I was younger,
I wanted to be a doctor.
You did?
Hey, hey, hey!
Here he is!
The new bad boy
of American letters.
Some people calling you
the voice of your generation.
There's a guest bedroom
upstairs at the end of the hall.
Come meet me there
in 15 minutes.
- Dad, what the fuck?
- Oh, shit!
Did you manage to get
a hold of him?
Service is out everywhere
with the hurricane.
Let's focus on you
and that baby.
I can't do this alone.
I can't do...
Your husband is finally here.
Should I show him in?
Not yet.
♪ I was screaming
into the canyon ♪
♪ At the moment of my death ♪
♪ The echo I created ♪
♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪
♪ My voice
it made an avalanche ♪
♪ And buried a man
I never knew ♪
♪ And when he died
his widowed bride ♪
♪ Met your daddy
and they made you ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do
and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am
and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do
and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am
and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ I have only one thing to do
and that's ♪
♪ Be the wave that I am
and then ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the o ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the o ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
♪♪
[Gottlief]
Holy crap.
They said this was
gonna be a circus,
but this... you know what,
fuck the construction.
Go around the back.
It's fine.
Just pull up here.
- Noah.
- [Gottlief] Are you sure?
I'm good.
[Gottlief]
All right, then.
Here we go.
Stick right behind me.
Don't talk to anyone,
don't look at anyone.
[crowd clamoring]
[crowd clamoring]
Excuse us,
excuse us.
Please, please back up.
[reporter]
Are you expecting...
- ...a quick trial?
- Please, not now.
Jury's three quarters female.
Is that a good thing?
[Gottlief] No questions now.
I'm sorry.
Excuse us.
Excuse us, please.
Sign my book.
Excuse me, please.
[man]
Fuck you, Solloway.
_
Hey, Ali, uh, just wondering
if you got my texts.
It's, uh, 12 minutes
past two.
So, uh, just checking
you're okay,
and wondering if you want us
to start without you,
or if you, uh, if I should
just... I don't know,
make a run for it
and go see Captain America.
Marilyn's staring at me,
so, uh, help,
she's gonna make me talk.
Uh, uh, love you.
I don't know where she is.
Maybe she's in the subway
or something.
I'm sure she'll turn up.
You seem tired.
Uh, I am.
Baby was up again.
4:50, her time of choice.
That's no fun.
Uh, God, it's abysmal.
You're out cold,
dreaming sweetly,
and this little voice
that's somehow so loud,
"Mama, Mama."
I didn't know she was talking.
Yeah, I can't get her to say
"Dada" to save my life,
but that's okay.
Still love her.
I guess.
[chuckles]
Nothing?
No, no.
She has a midterm tomorrow.
She probably stayed
behind after class
and, uh, asked some questions.
Who knows?
Yes, she mentioned last week
that she was nervous about it.
Yeah, I keep telling her
she shouldn't be.
I mean, she... she's gonna be
a great doctor.
I can't understand why
she's so hard on herself.
- She...
- You can't?
Really?
[nervous chuckle]
Should we just reschedule?
I mean, I'm not gonna...
I'm not gonna talk about it
without her being here.
Why not?
It's couple's therapy.
Yes.
Doesn't that by definition
require two people?
Generally, yes, but...
Truth is, it's too bad.
I was actually looking forward
to coming in for once.
You don't always?
[laughs]
I don't know.
I've been thinking maybe we...
maybe we've hit a...
hit a plateau.
Started repeating ourselves
and we've gotten
past the crisis,
we're basically doing well.
And today?
What?
You just said
today was different.
That you wanted to come.
Right.
But maybe you've
changed your mind.
[laughs]
You know, Noah, I'm not
gonna chain you to my couch.
That wouldn't be
very professional.
Let's reschedule
if you want to.
Um...
You could come
Wednesday instead.
I have a 3:15.
Uh, I can't.
I got to take Trevor
to the eye doctor.
He's getting glasses.
Okay.
You know, this whole week
is gonna be tough
'cause, uh, Helen and Vik
went to Africa,
and we got the kids till Sunday.
Helen and Vik
went to Africa?
On safari.
Go figure.
Your ex-wife took off
with her boyfriend
and you have the children
for a whole week?
Is that part of what
you wanted to talk about
with Alison?
No, no.
I'm... I'm happy for Helen.
Well, Vik seems like
a decent guy.
I mean, he's a bit strange,
but that's okay.
Seems to make Helen happy.
Wonderful.
Well, I guess I'll, uh...
I'll go and, uh...
...I'll call you to reschedule.
Okay.
Enjoy your movie.
Ah, fuck it.
This is what I wanted to...
I was hoping we could
deal with.
You're divorced.
It's official.
Hmm.
It came two weeks ago, and...
...I haven't shown it
to Alison yet.
I keep thinking
about Cold Spring.
If I got this letter back then,
I'd have grabbed her
and run to City Hall
immediately.
And now?
I don't know,
if there's one thing
I've learned this past year
and through all this,
it's to think before I act.
Just want to be certain
we're ready.
Do you feel that you're not?
I think I am.
But not Alison?
So what do you think
she might say
if she were here,
if you showed her this?
I don't know.
That's my point.
Are you afraid
she might say no?
That she doesn't
want to get married?
Build a life together?
Because we've... we've talked
about that a lot in here,
these issues of trust.
And it's taken a while,
but I think Alison...
I catch her staring at me.
Sorry?
With Joanie.
I...it happens all the time.
I'm feeding her cereal
or getting her dressed,
and I... I see Alison
watching us.
And it's not just looking.
It's like she's trying to
figure something out.
What?
I don't know.
Whether or not
I want the baby.
I mean, I understand
why she's doing it.
What I did was terrible.
Not making it back
for the birth.
You know, she probably
should've left me then.
I would've left me.
But she didn't.
I know, and I'm incredibly
grateful for that,
and I spent this entire year
trying to make it up to her.
I changed a thousand diapers,
I taught myself to cook,
I washed the dishes,
I folded the laundry,
I've barely written
a fucking word,
all to try to prove to her
how sorry I am
for my insanity.
You've done a tremendous
amount, Noah.
I think Alison knows that.
Except that isn't enough.
Why isn't it enough?
I don't know.
It's just how I feel
when she's looking at me.
Okay, can we...
no more phone.
Let's stick with this
for a minute.
Let's look at
these looks.
You feel some sort of
judgment from Alison?
I guess.
This isn't the first time
you've brought this up in here.
I remember you said something
similar about Whitney.
I did?
Yes, how the last time
you saw her,
she looked at you
with tremendous scorn.
Disappointment.
And then there was
the way you described
how Helen looked at you
when you first told her
about Alison.
I don't understand
where you're going with this.
So these three women
in your life,
you describe as looking at you
in similar ways.
With... With judgment.
For very different reasons.
Okay, but I'm just wondering
if there might be some
connection between them
that we should explore.
Like what?
I'm not sure.
Does anything come to mind
for you?
I want to fuck Lucy Koskoff.
Who's Lucy Koskoff?
She's my student.
She's my best student, in fact.
[sighs]
Damn it.
She's 26, she's hugely talented,
she comes to my office hours
and brings me chapters
from her novel.
She wants to talk
about my novel.
And she's also
made it very clear
that she'd sleep with me
at the drop of a hat.
In fact, I'm meeting her
today at four
to talk over her rewrites.
I know I shouldn't go, but I
can't bring myself to cancel.
Talk about judgmental stares.
I'm not judging, Noah.
I'm just thinking.
Well, don't... just...
just say something.
What would you
like me to say?
Anything, I'd...
[sighs]
I want you to tell me
what we're doing here.
What all this
is for, really?
All this talking
and listening...
Even if I understand,
I... I grasp
all the deep
and painful reasons
why I did what I did
and I want what I want.
I felt dismissed as a writer,
I've held back
in my marriage.
I was craving
acknowledgement, success.
I mean, what does it mean
for me to know all that
if I still just
end up wishing
Lucy would quit
talking metaphors
so I could take off
all her clothes
and just bend her
over my desk?
She isn't the first,
I'm guessing.
What?
Ms. Koskoff can't be
the first woman
you've wanted to cheat with.
You were attracted
to other people
during your 20 years
with Helen.
You say that
like it's a fact.
Oh, then you weren't?
Well, of course I was.
And did you ever
act on it?
No.
You know that.
No, I was faithful
except for Alison.
Then why are you so afraid
you would act on it now?
Because it's different.
Because of Alison, because
you've already done it once.
This is not uncommon
in people whose relationships
began as affairs.
This fear that because
you've strayed once,
you might do it again.
I almost did.
You almost had sex with Lucy?
No, no, not with Lucy, with...
with my publicist, Eden.
That goddamn night
of the hurricane.
The one we've been
over and over and over.
I...well, I...
I left things out.
Yes.
Wait, you knew?
She'd been after me for months.
I kept turning her down,
and then it was the end
of the book tour.
The rain was coming down
sideways,
and we were trapped,
so I...
...I was... I was
ready to do it.
But you didn't.
No.
You stopped yourself.
She went to find us a room,
and I saw these...
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Are you okay?
[sighs]
I saw these two girls
in a hot tub
and I was turned on,
and I was staring at them.
Noah, you do know
I have heard it all.
It was Whitney.
It was my fucking
daughter, I...
just as my new daughter
was being born.
Ugh.
And, I, uh...
it's the last time I saw her.
I ran away.
I left my daughter there,
and I just...
...took off.
So, you see, I didn't
stop myself.
I wouldn't have done.
Because I am a
terrible, terrible,
fucking sick, bad guy.
[inhales deeply]
Oh, fuck.
So do you think this is
why you haven't shown
the divorce papers to Alison?
That these...
these feelings you have
about Alison judging you,
not trusting you, that they
really have more to do with
your not trusting yourself?
The thing about that night,
uh,
as it was going on,
I remember saying to myself,
"It'll... it's okay," you know.
"It'll be okay."
And what does that mean?
Sleeping with Eden,
I knew I was gonna do it.
It was as if I'd
given myself permission.
I'd already forgiven myself.
It wasn't until
I saw Whitney
that I fucking woke up.
And then I... suddenly,
I just had to get out of there.
I didn't want anyone
to see me. It was...
you know that expression,
"I wanted to die"?
I wanted to die.
You wanted to die
rather than face yourself?
Yeah.
You know, Noah,
we have never talked about
your childhood in here.
Ugh.
What?
Now you're gonna shrink me?
Am I going to
psychoanalyze you?
Please don't.
I am curious.
Was your father
faithful to your mother?
[laughs]
That's funny?
Was he not?
My father was the only
faithful trucker
on the eastern seaboard.
The night of my wedding
to Helen,
my father drank six whiskeys.
And he said to Bruce...
Bruce is?
He's my, um, my father-in-law.
My ex father-in-law.
He's a novelist.
My father told him
he was also an artist,
but he gave up in his 40s
to take care of his sick wife.
And is that not true?
No, it's not fucking true.
I cared for his sick wife.
The man did nothing.
I mean, he was an okay husband
until the symptoms got bad,
and then he just checked out.
My sister and I
did everything.
And then she left,
and so it was just me.
Every injection,
every appointment,
giving her baths,
massaging her legs,
and in the end,
changing her diapers
and all the while
he drove his stupid truck
and then watched TV
and drank beer
until he passed out.
Every night.
And he dares tell me
that he loved his wife.
He never cheated.
He genuinely thinks he's a...
he's a... he's a fucking hero.
A good man 'cause he never
stuck his dick in any other...
He was a drunk,
a delinquent father,
and a terrible husband.
And I'm the one
who's cast as villain.
The one who cared
for my mother.
I was there for my children,
and I loved my wife
for 20 years until
I made one mistake.
[deeply inhales]
Sorry, that didn't
come out right.
I don't mean Alison
was a mistake.
No, I understand.
Fuck him.
If that's what being a good man
is, I don't want any part of it.
[sighs]
It makes sense to me,
given the history
you described,
that you might've
developed a skepticism
about fidelity
as a virtue.
Is that fair to say?
I guess.
And that your connection
to Alison and...
and your attraction
to Lucy,
to you, are...
...connected in some way
to your father's hypocrisy.
I think things
are only that simple
in this office, Marilyn.
I think the rest of the time,
we live a complicated,
multifaceted mess,
basically.
You think I haven't
thought about this before?
"I'm angry at my father,
so I cheat."
You know, I'm sorry,
I just don't think
people are that easy
to figure out.
That's fair enough.
I think about these questions,
why people live the way
they do, all the time.
You do?
Yes, I...
Helen once told me that
when she reads obituaries,
she's looking for whether the
person loved and was loved.
Did they have a family,
were they married long,
did they have children,
grandchildren?
And it kind of blew
my mind at the time,
'cause it never
occurred to me
to judge someone
by their family.
Instead, you're looking
at what?
What they... what they did.
Meaning their work,
their accomplishments?
- Yes.
- And yet, there's something
about what Helen said
that stayed with you,
that... that makes you think
she might be on to something.
I just think there are
so many different matrices
by which to measure
a man's worth,
and I... I don't know
which is right.
I'm writing a whole book
about this question.
At least, I'm trying to.
- Your new novel?
- Yeah.
You haven't talked
about that much in here.
Except to say that
it's very different.
It's a real departure
from Descent.
- Right.
- It's historical, right?
- It's World War II?
- Right.
With no women in it?
Did I say that?
You said that you
wanted to be sure
it had nothing to do
with personal relationships.
So there wouldn't be
anything or anyone
that Alison
might think was her.
Well, I was joking.
Kind of.
No, I started off
writing a war story,
and well, it still
is that, essentially.
Can you tell me
a little bit about it?
Do you know who
Omar Bradley is?
Uh, it sounds familiar.
He's a... he's a war hero.
He was a five-star general.
He was the commander of
the First Army at Normandy.
Ah.
The book is based on
his life.
I mean, it's fiction,
but he was fascinating.
He was a great man.
He led this extraordinary,
significant life.
You'd have to write
two or three books
just to cover half
of his achievements.
I spent half
of chapter two
writing about one meeting
he had with Montgomery,
and then I got to
page 65, and...
What happened on page 65?
Marlene Dietrich.
What?
I was gonna leave her out,
but then I just...
I don't know, she somehow
appeared on my screen.
She just appeared?
On her own?
Uh, no.
And then seduced
your main character?
Did you make
this up, or...
No, no, no, no, it happened.
Well, it was rumored to.
There are photos
of them together.
And Bradley was married,
I'm guessing.
For 49 years.
To the girl across the street.
But you see, that's...
that's who he was.
He wasn't just some
fearless leader,
some cartoon Captain America,
he was... he was flawed,
and imperfect, and selfish,
and that, I now realize is
what makes the book compelling.
It's the center of all of it.
What do we make of this guy?
Does the fact
that he had sex
with a movie star
outside marriage,
does that somehow negate
all of his achievements?
Or do those traits
that made him cheat...
ego, intensity, drive...
do they also
lead him to achieve?
Those are some big questions.
Well, I mean, it's
a very big book.
And I hope it's
an important one.
If I could only
fucking finish it.
Are you having trouble?
No, I'm not having trouble.
I just...
Well, the problem is
I don't have any time.
Between the teaching
and the baby, and...
...I need to do
more research.
I need to go to France
and spend six or eight weeks
and see where he lived, and
he fought, and he fucked and...
So why not go?
Buy a ticket.
I'm sure you could
figure it out.
No, Alison's program
is accelerated,
so she's got courses all summer
and the soonest I can get away
is... I don't even fucking know.
Fifteen months?
That's frustrating.
When I go I need... I need
time to write the thing.
I mean, a book like this,
it takes concentration.
Real focus.
It's not some
piece of pulp you can
pump out in ten weeks.
Like Descent, you mean?
Descent is what it is.
It was... It was...
It was... it did
amazingly well.
But I've known for a while
I wanted to take the next step.
I wanted to do something
bigger with real scope.
Something serious
and significant.
So do you notice
that the words you use
to describe Bradley's life...
"big," "significant," "great"...
you're now using them
to describe your new book.
Well, he's the subject
of the book.
But what I'm interested in
is how this subject relates
to your own life.
In your mind.
[sighs]
I want to know...
I want to know if it's possible,
really possible to be both.
Both?
A good man and a great man.
And by good, you mean?
Well, the way Helen reads
the obituaries, you know,
for long-lasting marriages,
for virtue, basically,
monogamy, partnership, love.
I mean, do the men who
Helen thinks led good lives,
how many of them
also had great lives?
Depends on what you mean
by great.
Would General Bradley
have conquered Normandy
if he'd been home
changing diapers?
I'm serious.
You look at the way
this guy led his life.
He went out in the world
and he followed
his instincts,
and he took
whatever he wanted.
Maybe he was narcissistic,
maybe Mary was unhappy,
but his life had consequence.
He basically won
the war for us.
So do we judge him for
his absence for his family
and his infidelity, or
do we just let that slide,
because what does it matter
at the end?
The guy stopped Hitler.
What does it matter to whom?
There's a certain type of man
that history reveres.
We see it over and over.
Jefferson, Hamilton, Picasso,
Hemingway,
all of them cheaters.
It's like they have
this bald desire,
this... this willingness
to take whatever they want,
that ends up
making them remarkable.
But again, I want to understand
how this connects to you.
What if, I mean, what if?
What if I... What if I have it
in me to be great?
What if the only thing
that separates me
from Ernest Hemingway is
that he never had to choose?
He... He... He just gave
himself permission to do
whatever the fuck he wanted
in the name of his work
and he didn't care
who he made suffer.
And he blew out
his brains at 60.
[laughs]
Well, what does that mean?
You tell me.
It's one minute
to three, Noah.
Is it?
But before we stop,
I'd like to return
to where we were
at the start
of the session.
You have some questions
to answer with Alison.
Are you ready to tell her
your divorce is finalized?
And do you actually
want to move forward
with your second marriage?
I know I want to be
a good husband,
I want to be... I want
to be a good partner
and a good father,
and I love having a family,
um, and a home
and people who depend on me,
but I know that in my gut.
But I also
want to go to France,
and... for two years,
and fuck whoever
and feel alive again,
and write a great novel.
What I do not want
is to be dishonest.
I tried that
and I hate myself for it.
I...if there's one thing
I could change,
I do not want to lie...
...to myself or anyone else.
[sighs]
I think that's
admirable, Noah.
I really do.
And we're at time.
So you're gonna be
in here again with Alison,
but before that, I think
it's worth taking the time
to look beyond Bradley,
beyond Jefferson,
beyond whoever.
To another list.
A list of men
who did remarkable things
and remained loyal partners.
We hear about them less,
but they're out there too.
I know that, of course.
And conversely,
what about the average guys?
The dentists and accountants
who cheat on their wives?
A few of them sit right
where you're sitting.
Every week.
How do they fit
into your theory?
You could be in France
right now
with a sitter
minding Joanie.
And you didn't
have to tell me about
your appointment with Lucy.
And the very fact
that you stayed today,
and that you're struggling
with these issues,
to me, that says volumes
about who you really are.
Great, so who am I?
Thank you for the talk.
Thank you for staying.
Oh, hey.
Hey, I'll take over.
You go study.
No, it's okay.
I'm almost done.
Here you go.
Hey, I'm sorry
about missing therapy.
I...I don't know
how I forgot.
It's all right.
Class stressed me out
reviewing things
I thought I knew,
but then I didn't, and...
It's fine.
Actually good to have
some time on my own.
Got myself all figured out.
Oh, yeah? Do tell.
[chuckles]
Maybe later.
[Alison giggles]
[Gottlief]
All of us are human.
We all want answers
to our questions.
We want endings to our stories.
In 2014 alone
in the United States of America,
884 people were killed
in hit-and-run accidents.
Only one in five of those cases
ended in arrest.
Only 20% of victims' families
got the answers
they were looking for.
Now, this is just the beginning
of our time together,
but I want to ask
something of you.
I want to ask each of you
to consider
the very real possibility,
the 80% possibility
that whomever
hit Scott Lockhart that night
and heartlessly
kept on driving,
might not be
in this courtroom today.
In the coming days and weeks,
we are going to learn
a great deal
about the troubled life
of Scott Lockhart.
The customers to whom
he sold cocaine,
the suppliers from whom
he bought that cocaine,
and also about
the many, many women
with which he had...
shall we say,
brief entanglements.
Scotty's own brother, Cole,
married one of these women
at a wedding which took place
the very same night
that Scotty died.
Now, the prosecution
will try to convince you
that this couldn't possibly
have been an accident.
Well, there were
many, many people
who had palpable tensions
with Scott Lockhart.
Many, many people
who had motives
far more realistic than those
assigned to my client.
I want you to just
take note of the crowd
outside this courtroom today.
My client is what we call
a scapegoat,
skewered by a community
who doesn't like
what he wrote about them.
The callous outsider.
The unscrupulous author.
This is a man of fiction.
Someone easy
to point fingers at
when you're searching
for a villain.
Yet this character,
bears absolutely
no resemblance
to the person
sitting next to me,
someone who you will
come to know
as a devoted father,
committed husband,
a hard-working
teacher and writer,
and someone who is
incapable of murder.
And someone who,
at his very essence,
is a good man.
_
[baby mobile playing
tranquil tune]
♪♪
[police siren wailing]
Shh.
She go back down?
Thank God.
Next time it's you.
She doesn't want me.
She wants her Mama.
Shh, sleep.
Mmm.
[sighs]
[long exhale]
[sighs]
Hmm.
[Nuñez]
You have to invest ATP
in the beginning,
in order to gain ATP
towards the end.
At Step 7 is where
the pay off begins.
In this stage, you gain
back the two ATPs,
the metabolic energy
you spent earlier.
The two units of
1,3-bisphosphoglycerate
we receive in Step 6,
are now converted
into two units of
3-phosphoglycerate.
This reaction
is catalyzed...
Oh, shit, sorry.
...by phosphoglycerate
kinase.
For those of you now having
mild panic attacks,
a friendly reminder:
because of the switch
in our syllabus, neither
glycolysis nor enzyme kinetics
will be covered
on tomorrow's midterm.
- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!
Okay, let's take
a five minute break.
When we come back
we can do some review.
I know a few of you wanted to
go back over protein folding.
And you can ask
any other questions
pertaining to the test.
[students chattering]
Uh, Andrew?
Hey, I'm sorry.
You caught me snacking.
[chuckles]
Cheddar pop chip?
Oh, no.
No, thank you.
Um, I was just wondering
if you could tell me, uh,
what the last day
to drop this class is.
You're wanting to drop
the class?
Uh, well, I'm not sure,
but I'm... I'm...
Am I that
incomprehensible?
[chuckles]
No.
"Stultifyingly" dull.
No, it's nothing like that.
I just, uh,
I somehow thought
this was gonna be
easier, you know?
I have a one-year-old
at home,
and I... I haven't
been sleeping.
You're Alison Bailey,
right?
You're my... You're my
continuing ed student.
Yeah. Yeah, that's me.
You're an RN?
Right.
So a lot of this stuff
isn't new to you.
No, it's not all that new.
It's just been a long time.
It's been a really,
long time and I...
Um, I just want to know
what the deadline is.
Tomorrow, actually.
The halfway mark.
If you withdraw after that,
you get a W
on your transcript,
still pay full tuition.
Ah, okay, thank you.
[student]
Hey, could I ask...
Just one second, buddy.
Alison? If your plan
is to go to med school,
I really encourage you
to continue.
The longer you wait,
the harder it may be
to jump back in.
Sorry, what's up?
[student]
Had a question about Chapter 4.
[Nuñez]
All right, people.
Tomorrow, 30 questions.
20 multiple choice,
10 written,
no calculators allowed.
You'll get periodic tables.
Please, do not pull
an all-nighter
for this one, guys.
There's no need
to drown yourself
in caffeine
for my sake.
If you paid attention
in class,
and done the work,
you'll do well.
It's that simple.
All right?
Questions?
Uh, you in the back.
[student speaking indistinctly]
[♪ soft music ♪]
♪♪
[Scotty]
Alison!
Hey, city lady.
Scotty.
Man, y... you look
friggin' fantastic.
- Come here, come on.
- Wh... oh.
[Scotty chuckles]
Well, I... I don't,
but anyway...
Wh... is everything okay?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Everything's great.
Everyone is great.
I, um, I've got a business
proposal for you.
Uh, a... sorry?
How about we go up?
Can I come up?
Uh, wh... I don't... my...
well, my daughter
might be napping.
- She sometimes goes down early.
- No, no, no, that's...
that right.
That's... that's cool.
That's, uh, nice.
So, huh.
How about stepping
into my office, then?
Hmm? Ten minutes.
That's all I need, okay?
Come on.
[chuckles]
Why are you looking at me
like I'm gonna bite you?
Come on, it... Ali, it's me.
Just have a seat.
Come on, come on.
Okay.
[quick exhale]
Okay, you ready?
Yeah.
The Lobster Roll.
What about it?
I want to buy it.
With you.
[laughs]
What?
Don't laugh.
I...
You shouldn't be laughing.
What?
Is it even for sale?
Yeah, it's about to be.
[stuttering]
I don't know
when the last time
you saw the place was,
but it's a wreck.
Oscar never fixed it up
after the hurricane.
The awnings are trashed,
they're hanging off it.
I went in for a piece of pie
the other day,
the apple rhubarb.
Inedible.
Oscar's bankrupt.
He's... He's he... he is
this close to foreclosure.
And he's already lost
the other property.
So The Roll's gonna
go back to bank.
I'm betting that
we can grab it up
for 1.8, probably
even less.
Look, I... I... I... I
I've got an investor
for half of it, right?
He's a Wall Street guy,
but he's a decent guy.
You throw in
the other half, golden.
You don't look
good to me, Scotty.
Ah, you... you... you
worry too much, Ali.
Come on, you always have.
I'm doing fine.
I'm fine.
Of course,
I will be doing much better
when we open our nightclub.
Our nightclub?
That's fun, right?
Plus, it's fucking lucrative.
I have all the specs
worked out.
You wouldn't
have to do a thing.
Just... Just take a look,
at least.
Come on.
I can't help you.
I'm sorry.
- You got to, actually.
- Well, I can't.
Oh, come on,
Scotty, this is...
No, you come on!
I mean, what the hell, Ali?
Look at where
you're living, huh?
Look at this fucking
shiny tower, huh?
Don't tell me that
you don't have the money!
Well, it isn't mine.
What, it's Noah's?
The renowned author,
Noah Solloway, huh?
Look, first of all,
I know you've got the cash
because I know what
you sold your house for.
Second of all, whatever
money that asshole has,
whatever massive
fucking fortune
he earned off that book,
he fucking owes
to our family.
- Okay, I'm going up.
- It's tragic! Chapter 8, huh?
All that crap
about the feud,
[stuttering]
the dealing, you know what?
It had consequences.
Yeah, will you stop?
Every idiot in Montauk
bought and read
that piece of shit,
including Officer Skerry.
You remember him,
huh, Evan?
Evan came down
to the fucking dock
and he told me that he was
done with our arrangement.
He couldn't cover me anymore.
Game over.
So you're done
dealing drugs?
Yeah.
You still taking them?
Huh?
[Gigi]
Look, honey, there's Mama!
Hey.
[Joanie cooing]
Hey, hi.
- Look who it is.
- Hi, sweetheart.
You're back early.
Uh, yeah, yeah, I am.
I, uh, I ran into
a friend of mine.
Uh, Scotty,
this is Gigi.
[Gigi]
Hi.
Is this your daughter?
Yeah, this is Joanie.
Hi, Joanie.
Uh, Gigi, I think...
[Scotty]
She's beautiful.
[Gigi]
Oh, isn't she, though?
Everybody says
she looks like Alison,
but to me she looks
like her daddy.
[♪ tense music ♪]
♪♪
Yeah.
Yeah, she does to me, too.
♪♪
Yeah, I, uh, I think
it's time to go up, right?
- [Gigi] Okay.
- [Scotty] Right, right.
I'll let you, um...
I'll let you go
with her then.
Um...
...it's great
to see you, Ali.
♪♪
I'm glad I came.
♪♪
[Gigi]
Bring her up now, then?
Are we taking her in, then?
Do you want... do you want
to put her down, or...
Could you, uh, could you...
could you stay
a little longer than 4:00?
Uh, yeah, okay.
Thank you, that's...
♪♪
[phone ringing]
Oh, shit.
♪♪
[Cole]
Hey.
Hi.
So, uh, your call.
Should we hug or do we...
Uh...
- Hi, it's good to see you.
- Yeah.
You too.
I got to admit,
I was surprised
when I saw your number
come up on my phone.
Yeah, I know.
Jane had told me
you moved to Greenpoint.
I wasn't sure
I believed her.
And yet, here I am.
Here you are.
- [Cole] Hey, Reggie?
- [Reggie] Yeah?
[Cole] Can we get my friend,
Alison, here a drink?
Sure, what would you like
today, friend Alison?
Uh, a Blanton neat, please.
[Cole]
Really?
Blanton neat.
And, uh,
and some olives too.
Hmm, addict.
You got to try these things,
they're amazing.
I don't know what
they put on them,
but they are great.
It's, like,
crack or something.
Seems like you
come here a lot.
Well, yeah,
Luisa's restaurant's
right across the street.
The one with
the brown awnings.
That's her restaurant?
Yeah, I mean,
it's not hers, hers.
She's the manager,
so I come here, hang out,
I try not to
get in the way.
[awkward laughter]
She's off in 15 minutes.
You get to meet her.
Oh, great.
So, uh, what have you
been doing?
You working?
Uh, yeah, in...
[laughs] her cousin's
in construction
so I've been picking up odd jobs
with him here and there.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well, do you... do you need
to be doing that? I mean,
I know you haven't touched
the money from the house.
It's still
sitting in escrow.
It's 'cause it's
your money, Alison.
I don't want it.
Look, I've taken mine out.
The rest is yours.
If you leave it there,
it's gonna stay there forever.
You know, I actually
like this work.
Good for me to be working
with my hands again.
And I'm picking up
some Spanish.
Oh, yeah?
Turns out
I'm not too bad at it.
Okay.
Say something.
- In Spanish?
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, uh...
Me voy a casar.
Nice.
Uh, and that means?
It means I'm getting married.
Oh, God, wow.
- Cole, that's...
- Yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
I know it's fast, but...
No.
No, no, it's great.
It's... It's wonderful.
Thanks, Ali.
You look happy.
Yeah, I am.
[laughs]
Yeah.
I really am.
How you doing?
Me? Uh, yeah, well,
I mean, I'm good.
I'm... well, I'm... I'm...
I'm busy, you know?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
I mean, with the kid,
it must be.
Yeah.
How's she doing?
Yeah, she's...
she's great.
Hmm, that's good to hear.
She's got to be getting old now.
Yeah, yeah, she's almost a year.
Oh.
[Reggie]
Blanton neat for you.
Thank you, that's...
- And your daily fix, sir.
- Thank you.
[Reggie]
Anything else?
Uh, no, no, I'm fine.
I just...
[Cole]
We're good, Reg.
[Reggie]
All right, I'll be here.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Mmm, you're right.
That's a... That's a good olive.
Right?
So...
[sighs]
What did you want
to see me about?
Uh...
I, um...
You okay?
Is everything all right?
Did something bad happen?
Uh...
I saw Scotty this morning.
[sighs]
Yeah?
Yeah, he was waiting
outside my apartment.
He didn't look
so good, Cole.
He...
Is that it?
That's all you want
to tell me?
Yeah. Yeah, well, he... he...
I mean, he didn't look well.
He was... He was strung out,
like, almost manic,
and he had some plan about
buying The Lobster Roll,
and wanted me to
go in with him.
That's been his plan
for a while now.
Well, I don't know
if he's using, but...
I'm sure that he is.
And you... you don't care?
No, I do not care.
Not anymore.
I can't tell you how
fucking good it feels
to stop having to care
about my family and their
spectacular dysfunction
all the time,
to worry about me and my
life for a little while.
So Scotty can snort his
life away for all I care.
And he can buy
The Lobster Roll,
he can build that heinous
monstrosity of a nightclub
and really do whatever
the fuck he wants.
I mean, it's not like he's
gonna get that money anyway.
Or that The Lobster Roll
is even for sale.
Well, no, it's...
it's in foreclosure.
Really?
Or it's about to be,
I mean, that's what he said.
He said it... it...
he said it's closing.
God, I hated hearing that.
Yeah.
You remember your birthday
when we went there?
- It was late, like,
- Oh.
I don't know,
3:00 in the morning.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- We were all
completely stoned
out of our trees.
Which birthday was that?
That was my 16th.
That's right, your Sweet 16.
How did we get in?
Did we break in?
No, I had keys.
I used to open...
- ...on Sunday mornings.
- Yeah, that's right.
That's right,
and we go in,
and you pull out that
huge vat of ice cream.
And then Scotty burnt his hand.
What?
Oh, yeah, Scotty burnt the
shit out of his hand...
- ...in the fryer.
- Oh, oh, my God.
I'd completely forgotten that.
[both laughing]
Ah, shit.
That used to be a great place.
Yeah.
[door opens, creaks]
Hey, you're done.
Alison?
Hi, Luisa, hi.
- How are you?
- Uh, yeah, I'm good.
- So how was work?
- You know, it was good.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Oh, uh, congratulations.
Cole told me
about the engagement.
Oh, thank you.
I'm really happy
for you and him.
Yeah, it's kind of
surprising, huh?
Cole Lockhart
living in the city.
Kind of surprising?
[laughs]
This is good for him.
You know, a new start.
Yeah, uh, well, I... I...
I better be going.
My, uh, you know,
sitter's, like, waiting.
- Right.
- Uh, let me just...
...get some money
for this.
No, no, don't worry.
I got it.
Cole, come on,
please, I just...
[Cole]
Alison,
I got it.
Okay, thank you.
Well, it was nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Bye.
[inaudible]
[Trevor]
I'm ahead of you.
Hey, guys.
What are you doing?
We're skiing.
Want a turn?
No, I'm okay.
Keep warm, though.
[Noah]
Oh, my God.
No, let me take that.
- [Joanie cooing]
- [Noah] Yeah.
Sorry.
Good girl.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey.
Hey, you cooked.
[gasps]
Where the hell were you?
You missed therapy.
I know, I'm sorry.
Hey, sweetie.
How are you?
[sighs]
I'm really sorry.
I completely screwed up.
I went to class,
and then I...
It's fine.
I figured you
weren't coming,
so I left and went
to a movie.
What movie?
Captain America.
Listen, I've been thinking
maybe we should quit therapy.
You want to stop?
Don't you?
We've kind of run out
of things to talk about.
Aren't we all happy again?
Hmm?
Yeah, we are.
Hey, hmm.
Come on, let's eat.
[breathing heavily]
I love you.
I love you.
I love you,
I love you.
I love you.
[moans]
[passionate sighing]
[moaning]
I love you.
I love you.
[both moaning]
[Joanie]
Dada.
Was that her?
I think so.
[Joanie]
Dada.
What'd she say?
[Joanie]
Dada.
[both chuckle]
[Joanie cooing]
Go, go.
[Joanie]
Dada.
[Noah]
Yes, where's my Joanie?
- Dada.
- Did you say Dada?
We're back in two minutes,
and this just came back
from the lab.
Reed drove it out here.
Open it.
[♪ dramatic music ♪]
♪♪
My, oh, my, oh, my.
♪♪
[♪ dramatic music ♪]
♪♪