The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1984–1985): Season 1, Episode 1 - A Scandal in Bohemia - full transcript
Sherlock Holmes finds himself evenly matched when he is employed by the King of Bohemia to retrieve an indiscreet photograph from the American actress and singer, Irene Adler.
Psst!
Got you!
Now look here...
But ma'm!
Close the window, John.
To Sherlock Holmes,
she was always "the woman,"
the beautiful Irena Adler of
dubious and questionable memory.
At the time of our involvement
in the Irena Adler case,
Holmes and I had been sharing
rooms in Baker Street
for some years.
My practice had caused me
to be absent in the country
for several days.
As usual, after leaving
Holmes for any length of time,
I returned filled with
apprehension as to his mood.
Oh!
Oh, hello, Mrs. Hudson.
Dr. Watson, just look at you,
half soaked to the skin!
Yes, well, I am not surprised,
I have just spent 20 minutes
standing in the pouring rain
waiting for a cab.
It won't do that
old wound of yours any good
getting so wet, Doctor.
I know.
I'll just take this
coat and your hat
and see that
they're properly dried.
Mrs. Hudson,
I haven't eaten all day.
I do hope supper
will be up very soon.
That's very doubtful.
I don't know what's
come over Mr. Holmes,
he seems to be all on edge.
I'm not to bring up supper
until I'm called.
Those are his orders.
Thank you, Mrs. Hudson.
My dear Holmes,
what is it tonight,
morphine or cocaine?
Well, I can strongly recommend
a seven percent solution
of cocaine.
Would you care to try it?
No, indeed!
I speak not only as your friend,
but as a medical man.
How can you risk such damage
to the great powers
with which you have
been endowed?!
I cannot tell you
how it clarifies
and stimulates the mind.
Yes, and destroys it in time!
My mind rebels at stagnation.
Give me problems, give me work,
give me the most
abstruse cryptogram,
the most intricate analysis,
and I'm in my proper atmosphere.
Then I can dispense
with artificial stimulants.
But I abhor the dull routine
of existence.
I crave mental exultation.
That is why I have chosen
my own profession,
or rather created it,
for I am the only one
in the world.
The only unofficial detective.
The only unofficial
consulting detective.
I take no credit in my cases.
The work itself,
the pleasure of finding a field
for my particular powers
is my highest reward.
You can close that drawer.
You have made the wrong
diagnosis, Doctor!
I have my stimulant here.
I hope you enjoyed your week
in the country.
It was good for the appetite.
Incidentally, I do wish
you would ring for supper.
What is this?
Yes, I must get ready
for my visitor.
It came by the morning post.
Give me your observations.
Well, it's undated and without
either signature or address.
Good, read it aloud.
"Dear Mr. Holmes:
There will call upon you tonight
at a quarter to eight
a gentleman who"...
Good heavens, we've only
a few minutes, Holmes.
Go on.
"A gentleman who desires
to consult with you
upon a matter of
the very deepest moment.
Your recent services to one
of the royal houses of Europe
have shown that you are one
who may be safely trusted
with matters which
are of an importance
which can hardly be exaggerated.
This account of you we have
from all quarters received,
be in your chamber then."
Good... good heavens,
this is a mystery, indeed.
What do you imagine it means?
I have no data yet.
It is a capital mistake
to theorize before one has data.
Mm.
But the note itself,
what do you deduce from it?
It's a man's writing.
Good.
Presumably well-to-do,
it's expensive paper, this.
It's peculiarly
strong and stiff.
Peculiar, that is the very word.
It is not English paper at all.
Hold it up to the light.
Ah, large E,
small g, large P, and G
with a small t
woven into the texture.
And that is?
Maker's monogram.
Excellent, Watson!
Come along!
Let us consult
our continental gazetteer.
Your cigars; you see, I was not
unmindful of your return.
Oh, Holmes!
Would you care for some whiskey?
Later, perhaps,
when we've eaten.
The monogram is an abbreviation
for Papier Gesellschaft,
which is the German
for "paper company."
And the Eg,
Eglow, Eglonitz, Egria,
a German-speaking district
of Bohemia
noted for its numerous
glass factories
and paper mills, there.
Bohemia, the kingdom of Bohemia.
And the note is
written by a German.
You see, "this account of you
we have from
all quarters received,"
only a German is so
uncourteous to his words.
So we are to expect
a German from Bohemia.
Here he is,
drawn by a pair,
a nice little brougham.
There's money in this case,
Watson, if there's nothing else.
Holmes, I think your visitor
will want me out of the way.
Not a bit, Doctor,
stay where you are!
I am lost without my Boswell.
But he sounded so secretive.
I may need your help,
and so may he.
Now, stay in that armchair,
and give me your full attention.
Here he comes.
I'm sorry, sir,
but you cannot come in here
unannounced like this!
Mr. Holmes does not see anybody
without appointment!
Oh, I'm so sorry,
Mr. Holmes!
There was nothing I could do!
It's perfectly all right,
Mrs. Hudson!
If you would kindly leave us.
Yes.
And close the door.
Of course.
Thank you.
You read my note?
Yes. Pray take a seat!
This is my friend and
colleague, Dr. Watson,
who is occasionally good enough
to help me in my cases!
How do you do, sir.
Who do I have
the honor to address?
You may address me as the Count
Von Kramm, a Bohemian nobleman.
I should much prefer to
communicate with you alone.
No, it is both, or none.
You may say
before this gentleman
anything which you may wish
to say to me.
Very well, I take your word
that he is a man of honor
and discretion.
But I must begin by binding
you both to absolute secrecy
for a period of two years.
Indeed?
At the end of that time
the matter will be
of no importance.
At present it is of such weight
that it may have an influence
upon European history.
I promise.
And I.
You will excuse this mask.
The august person who employs me
wishes his agent
to be unknown to you.
In fact, I may confess that
the title I have given you
is not exactly my own.
I was aware of that.
The circumstances
are of great delicacy;
every precaution must be taken
to prevent an immense scandal
which would seriously compromise
one of the royal houses
of Europe.
To speak plainly,
the matter concerns
the great House of Ormstein,
hereditary kings of Bohemia.
I was aware of that, too,
your Majesty.
You are right...
I am the King.
Why should I attempt
to conceal it?
Why, indeed?
Your Majesty had not spoken
before I was aware
that I was addressing
Wilhelm Gottsreich
Sigismond von Ormstein,
Grand Duke of Cassel-Felstein,
and hereditary King of Bohemia.
And in passing,
the finest dualist in Europe.
You have killed four opponents.
Honorably.
Of course.
The facts are briefly these:
Ah!
Some 10 years ago, during
a lengthy visit to Warsaw,
I made the acquaintance
of the well known adventuress,
Irena Adler.
The name is no doubt
familiar to you.
Kindly look her up in my index,
will you, Watson.
So, I deduce that your Majesty
became entangled with this lady,
wrote her some
compromising letters,
and is now desirous
of getting them back.
Precisely so.
But how could you know that?
Italian general's staff...
Ah, Adler, Irena,
born New Jersey, 1858.
Is this the lady?
New Jersey, let me see.
Singer, contralto
appeared at La Scala, opera
houses Petersburg and Warsaw,
retired from the operatic stage,
now living in London,
makes occasional
concert appearances.
That is the lady.
Was there a secret marriage?
None.
No legal papers or certificates?
None.
Then I fail to follow
your Majesty.
If this person
should produce your letters
for blackmailing
or other purposes,
how is she to prove
their authenticity?
There is the writing.
Pooh, pooh! Forgery.
My private writing paper.
Stolen.
My own seal.
Imitated.
My photograph.
Bought.
We were both in that photograph.
Oh, dear, dear, dear.
Yes, that is very bad.
Your Majesty has certainly
committed an indiscretion.
She was beautiful, bewitching,
clever, daring.
I was only Crown Prince then.
I was young!
I am but 30 now.
Of course, your Majesty
has attempted to recover
the photograph?
We have tried and failed.
Then your Majesty must pay.
It must be bought.
She will not sell.
Stolen, then.
Five attempts have been made.
Twice burglars in my pay
ransacked her house.
Once we diverted her luggage
when she traveled.
Twice she has been waylaid.
There has been no sign of it.
You mock?!
It is serious!
Yes.
Yes, it is very serious, indeed.
Well, what does she propose
to do with this photograph
if not to extort money?
To ruin me.
How?
I'm about to be married.
So I've heard.
To the Princess Clotilde
Lothman von Saxe-Meningen,
and second daughter
to the King of Scandinavia.
It is a brilliant match.
Precisely.
But you will know the
strict principles of her family.
She's herself
the soul of delicacy.
A shadow of doubt
as to my conduct
would bring the matter
to an end.
And Irena Adler?
Threatens to send them
the photograph.
And she will do it.
She has a soul of steel.
She's more beautiful than
any other woman I've known,
more resolute than any man.
There are no lengths to which
she would not go, none,
to prevent my marriage
to another woman!
Your Majesty,
why is this lady so vindictive?
Oh, there was once
some talk of marriage.
Ha!
She would not see
that it was impossible!
You are sure that she has not
sent the photograph yet?
I am sure.
Why?
It may be on its way
at this very moment.
Because she has said
that she would send it
on the day when the betrothal
was publicly proclaimed.
That will be next Monday.
But I must leave London
on Friday
to be home for the ceremony.
Ah, then we do have three days.
Well, that is very fortunate,
for I do have
other matters in hand.
Where can I find
your Majesty in London?
At the Langham Hotel,
as the Count Von Kramm,
remember.
Yes, of course.
And as to expenditure?
Here are 300 pounds in gold,
and 700 in notes.
And Miss Irena Adler's address?
Goodnight, your Majesty,
and I trust we shall soon
have good news for you.
Holmes, we can dine at Romano's,
but we only have three days,
till Friday.
Oh, it must be settled
by Friday.
The composer Tchaikovsky
is conducting his own works
at the St. James's Hall.
No, no, no, no!
It must be settled by Friday.
My dear Watson,
I'd like to be alone.
You are hungry?
Yes.
I'm sure Mrs. Hudson will
bring you up a sandwich.
A sandwich?
We will not discuss this matter
until tomorrow afternoon.
Goodnight.
Better than working,
isn't it, mate?
What is?
Looking on.
I'll change with you
any time, gov.
And what position are you?
Eight weeks,
a mere first-class groom.
Are ya?
Well, you can give
me a hand if you like.
I see you're all right.
Why not?
Give her the price of the booze.
I thought it was the booze.
Strap the mare,
show us what you can do.
I spent a couple of hours
with the cabbie and his cronies.
Miss Irena Adler
has certainly turned all
men's heads in those parts.
She is the daintiest thing
under a bonnet on this planet,
so say the Serpentine-mews
fraternity, to a man.
She lives quietly,
drives out at five
in the evening,
returns at
seven sharp for dinner.
Seldom goes out at other times,
except when she sings.
She has only one male visitor,
but sees a good deal of him.
He never calls less than
once a day, and often twice.
His name is a Mr. Godfrey
Norton, of the Inner Temple.
You see the advantages of having
a cabman as a confidant.
Mr. Godfrey Norton is a lawyer,
that is important.
Ominous, perhaps.
Why his repeated visits?
Is she his client,
friend, or mistress?
If he is her lawyer,
he might have the photograph
to his strong box.
If her lover, he might
not even know of it.
She had just begun to sing,
she has the voice
of an angel, Watson,
when a truly surprising
chain of events overtook me,
starting with the arrival
of someone I presumed to be
Mr. Godfrey Noble.
Wait for me, will you.
Fetch your mistress's carriage.
Drive like the devil,
Church of St. Monica,
Edgeware Road.
I must arrive there at least
five minutes before 12:00.
That gives you 20 minutes.
Half a guinea if you do it.
She is a lovely woman, Watson,
with a face that
a man might die for.
A face a man might die for...
Unusual language
for you, Holmes.
A metaphor,
Watson, nothing else.
I was just about to sprint after
the landau and perch on the back
when another cab
came through the street.
He looked twice
at such a shabby fare,
but I jumped in before
he had time to object,
showed him a handful
of sovereigns
and promised him one
if he would get me to the Church
of St. Monica within 20 minutes.
Now, I don't think
that I have ever been driven
faster in a cab.
They were there before us.
Look, I'm very sorry,
Mr. Norton, but I...
For pity sake,
it's almost midday.
The latest time allowed by law.
I would have called in one
of those confounded churchmen
but I saw no reason to let them
know our business
and I sent them off for a drink.
Oh, dear Lord!
Godfrey.
You, you, come here, man!
Yes, I mean you!
We've only a few minutes left
or it won't be legal!
Come man, come!
Hold this and do as you're told.
You'll be paid.
Ah, we have our witness.
The ceremony may proceed.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered
here in the sight of God
to join together this man
and this woman in holy matrimony
which is an honorable estate
instituted of God
in the time of man's innocency,
signifying unto us
the mystical union
that is betwixt Christ
and his church.
Irena.
I allowed you to persuade me,
now you must allow me
to persuade you.
I shall see you tomorrow.
At the very first moment.
I love you.
John.
Hey, you!
Come here, my man.
Come here.
Godfrey, let me.
Sir, I want to thank you
for being so miraculously
present when we needed you.
How fortunate that you have
remained close by.
Well, I'm in no hurry, ma'm.
I hope you will accept this.
I don't need no tip, ma'm.
Oh, sir, let us call it
a little souvenir.
She gave me a sovereign.
Here it is.
What an extraordinary
turn of events!
I shall wear it
on my watch chain
in memory of the occasion.
And what now?
Well, during the ceremony
I thought my plans
had been overthrown.
If they had made
an immediate departure,
it would have necessitated
the most prompt and
energetic measures on my part.
But, he went back to the Temple,
and she went to her own home,
thus, giving us time to act.
How?
Doctor, I shall require all
your courage and alertness.
I shall be delighted!
You don't mind breaking the law?
Not in the least.
Nor running the chance
of arrest?
Not in a good cause.
Oh, the cause is excellent.
Well, then I am your man.
Splendid.
Now, the... the question is...
Holmes, you really do
look quite remarkable!
You know, the question is
where to find the photograph.
I mean, the house
has twice been burgled.
She was too clever for them.
She is a remarkable woman.
Well, they must
have searched very thoroughly.
They did not know how to look!
And how will you look?
I shall not look.
What then?
I will allow her to show me.
But she'll refuse.
She will not be able to.
Ah, we draw near
the scene of action.
We had better walk from here.
You know your instructions.
When you raise your hand, I act.
And we meet at the rendezvous
in 10 minutes.
Here she comes.
Oh, no, you don't.
I was here first.
I opened the door, lady.
He never, no, it was me!
Clear off, you two!
Let-me-go!
Opening carriage doors
is a legitimate means of
livelihood, Mr. [inaudible].
You ain't gonna stop
a man earning a copper, see.
Let me pass.
You there,
let go of my coachman!
Take the bread
from me mouth, would 'ya?
I'll fill your mouth, chum.
Oh!
Oh, no, no, please,
please don't, men,
please, I beg you,
please I beg of you!
Madam, I must protect you!
Now stop that,
you and you, stop that.
Oh!
Stand back!
You see what you've done!
He's dead!
Scamper, mate,
before the coppers come!
He's still breathing,
but he's taken a bad knock.
I am sorry, ma'am.
You did your best, John.
Is he badly hurt?
It is only superficial,
but he needs attention, quickly.
But he can't lie on the street.
Bring him into the house.
All right, sir.
Oh, you're conscious.
Thank goodness,
you are a brave man.
Over here, Willot.
No, no, stand back,
I shall look after
my friend in need.
Sir, will you look toward me.
Oh, it is no sight for a lady.
I have strong nerves,
dear friend.
No, no, I cannot permit.
Thank you.
A bandage.
As you wish.
I'm so relieved that
your wound isn't serious.
Well, it is but shallow,
and the concussion wears off.
How extraordinary.
Madam?
That so many people
should gather in such
a quiet little turning.
Well, it's the gang, madam,
it was all pre-arranged
to rob you.
All those men
to snatch one little purse.
Oh, no, dear friend,
it wouldn't have paid them.
My vocation takes me
much amongst the poor
and even
the criminal classes, madam.
Look at those people staring,
curiosity is so unseemly,
but I fear universal.
Oh, I am so sorry,
I think I'm going to faint.
Oh, air, I need some air!
Willot, the window!
Oh!
Some drinking water.
Are there any smelling salts?
Madam, madam,
I think I can smell fire.
What?
Fire, fire!
Fire, fire, fire!
There's a fire, is there?
Madam, come out of here quickly!
I'll take care
of the old gentleman!
I can't breathe.
It's a false alarm!
It's a false alarm, look!
It's a trick, it's a...
Tell them... tell them!
There's a fire!
It's a false alarm, do you hear?
We do not need the fire engine!
What is it?
It is a plumber's rocket, madam,
one of my flock is a plumber.
It is ignited by a cap,
and sends smoke into pipes
to betray cracks and holes.
No, no, no, no, no,
it's all right.
It will disperse.
You said it was a trick.
Who would play
such a trick on me?
One of the gang, madam.
But to what purpose?
I've escaped them.
Revenge.
Revenge?
Are there such wicked people?
There are people
in this world, madam,
to whom revenge is
in itself a reward.
I cannot imagine such feelings.
I'm sure you cannot, madam.
Well, I am feeling more myself.
I must be on my way.
Oh, please stay,
some refreshment.
Well, one of my flock
expects me.
Won't you let
my carriage take you?
Oh, no, no, no,
the air will aid my recovery.
At least your name,
your address,
that I may thank you adequately.
Well, I am just
a humble servant, madam,
of the all seeing providence.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
You did it very nicely, Doctor.
You have the photograph?
No, but I know where it is.
How did you find out?
She showed me,
as I told you she would.
The trouble is, it still remains
in her possession.
You may have lost
your one chance, Holmes.
No.
I shall call
early tomorrow morning.
You'll call there?
And as my own self,
and with the King.
The King?!
And with you, Watson!
You must be a witness
at the end of our quest.
I trust you will sleep well
tonight for a change, Holmes.
Well, there's nothing like
success for curing insomnia.
Goodnight,
Mr. Sherlock Holmes,
and Watson.
Holmes?
But she could not love him.
I am in hopes that she does.
Why?
Because it would
spare your Majesty
all fear of future annoyance.
If she loves her husband, then
she does not love your Majesty.
And if she does not
love your Majesty,
why should she interfere
with your Majesty's marriage.
Mr. Sherlock Holmes,
I believe.
I am Mr. Holmes.
My mistress told me
you were likely to call.
She left this morning with
her husband by the 5:15 train
from Charing Cross
for the Continent.
She has left England?
Never to return, sir.
All is lost.
Well then, get at it.
This is not it!
Holmes, this is
a different photograph!
Do you hear me, man?!
The letter.
It is addressed to me.
"My Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes:
You did it very well.
You took me in completely.
Until after the alarm of fire,
I had not a suspicion.
But then, when I found
that I had betrayed myself,
it flashed into my mind
that I had been warned
against you months ago.
I had been told that if
the King employed an agent
it would certainly be you.
Yet, with all this,
you made me reveal
what you wanted to know.
Even before when the presence
of so many people in the street
had sounded an alarm
in my instinct,
I could not think evil of such
a dear, kind old clergyman.
But, you know,
I have been trained
as an actress myself,
and male costume
is nothing new to me.
Yes, it was I who followed you
to your door,
just to make sure
that you really were the
celebrated Mr. Sherlock Holmes.
It was I who rather imprudently,
wished you goodnight.
Then I started for the Temple
to see my new husband.
We had married in secret
in case we needed to leave
the country to elude the King.
Your appearance on the scene
was the signal for flight.
You are too formidable
an antagonist.
You will find the nest empty
when you call tomorrow.
As to the photograph,
your client may rest in peace.
I love and am loved
by a better man than he."
"The King may"...
"The King may do what he will
without hindrance from one
whom he has cruelly wronged.
I kept it only
to safeguard myself,
and to preserve a weapon
which will always secure me
from any steps
he may take."
There is more.
"I leave another photograph
which he might care to possess;
and I remain,
dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes,
very truly yours,
Irena Norton, nee Adler."
What a woman!
What a queen
she would have made!
Is it not a pity
she was not on my level.
From what I have seen
of the lady,
yes, indeed, she is on a very
different level to your Majesty.
I am only so sorry that I have
failed in my commission.
On the contrary, my dear sir,
nothing could be
more successful.
I know that her word
is inviolate.
The photograph is now as safe
as if it were in the fire.
I am glad that
your Majesty thinks so.
I am immensely indebted to you.
Pray, tell me in
what way I can reward you.
This ring?
Your Majesty has something
which I should value
even more highly.
You have but to name it.
This.
Irena's photograph?
Certainly, if you wish it.
Then I have the honor
to wish your Majesty
a very good morning.
And that was how a great scandal
threatened the Kingdom
of Bohemia,
and how the best plans
of Mr. Sherlock Holmes
were beaten by a woman's wit.
He used to sneer much
at the cleverness of women,
but I have not heard him
do it of late.
And when he speaks
of Irena Adler,
or when he refers to that woman,
it is always under the honorable
title of "the woman."
In his eyes, she eclipses
the whole of her sex.
It was not that he ever
betrayed any sign of love
for Irena Adler,
all emotions such as that one
are abhorrent to
his cold, precise mind.
He only looks on women
pathologically,
as the source of motives, clues.
And yet, he keeps her
photograph apart, locked up.
There is but one woman to him,
the beautiful Irena Adler, of
dubious and questionable memory.
Got you!
Now look here...
But ma'm!
Close the window, John.
To Sherlock Holmes,
she was always "the woman,"
the beautiful Irena Adler of
dubious and questionable memory.
At the time of our involvement
in the Irena Adler case,
Holmes and I had been sharing
rooms in Baker Street
for some years.
My practice had caused me
to be absent in the country
for several days.
As usual, after leaving
Holmes for any length of time,
I returned filled with
apprehension as to his mood.
Oh!
Oh, hello, Mrs. Hudson.
Dr. Watson, just look at you,
half soaked to the skin!
Yes, well, I am not surprised,
I have just spent 20 minutes
standing in the pouring rain
waiting for a cab.
It won't do that
old wound of yours any good
getting so wet, Doctor.
I know.
I'll just take this
coat and your hat
and see that
they're properly dried.
Mrs. Hudson,
I haven't eaten all day.
I do hope supper
will be up very soon.
That's very doubtful.
I don't know what's
come over Mr. Holmes,
he seems to be all on edge.
I'm not to bring up supper
until I'm called.
Those are his orders.
Thank you, Mrs. Hudson.
My dear Holmes,
what is it tonight,
morphine or cocaine?
Well, I can strongly recommend
a seven percent solution
of cocaine.
Would you care to try it?
No, indeed!
I speak not only as your friend,
but as a medical man.
How can you risk such damage
to the great powers
with which you have
been endowed?!
I cannot tell you
how it clarifies
and stimulates the mind.
Yes, and destroys it in time!
My mind rebels at stagnation.
Give me problems, give me work,
give me the most
abstruse cryptogram,
the most intricate analysis,
and I'm in my proper atmosphere.
Then I can dispense
with artificial stimulants.
But I abhor the dull routine
of existence.
I crave mental exultation.
That is why I have chosen
my own profession,
or rather created it,
for I am the only one
in the world.
The only unofficial detective.
The only unofficial
consulting detective.
I take no credit in my cases.
The work itself,
the pleasure of finding a field
for my particular powers
is my highest reward.
You can close that drawer.
You have made the wrong
diagnosis, Doctor!
I have my stimulant here.
I hope you enjoyed your week
in the country.
It was good for the appetite.
Incidentally, I do wish
you would ring for supper.
What is this?
Yes, I must get ready
for my visitor.
It came by the morning post.
Give me your observations.
Well, it's undated and without
either signature or address.
Good, read it aloud.
"Dear Mr. Holmes:
There will call upon you tonight
at a quarter to eight
a gentleman who"...
Good heavens, we've only
a few minutes, Holmes.
Go on.
"A gentleman who desires
to consult with you
upon a matter of
the very deepest moment.
Your recent services to one
of the royal houses of Europe
have shown that you are one
who may be safely trusted
with matters which
are of an importance
which can hardly be exaggerated.
This account of you we have
from all quarters received,
be in your chamber then."
Good... good heavens,
this is a mystery, indeed.
What do you imagine it means?
I have no data yet.
It is a capital mistake
to theorize before one has data.
Mm.
But the note itself,
what do you deduce from it?
It's a man's writing.
Good.
Presumably well-to-do,
it's expensive paper, this.
It's peculiarly
strong and stiff.
Peculiar, that is the very word.
It is not English paper at all.
Hold it up to the light.
Ah, large E,
small g, large P, and G
with a small t
woven into the texture.
And that is?
Maker's monogram.
Excellent, Watson!
Come along!
Let us consult
our continental gazetteer.
Your cigars; you see, I was not
unmindful of your return.
Oh, Holmes!
Would you care for some whiskey?
Later, perhaps,
when we've eaten.
The monogram is an abbreviation
for Papier Gesellschaft,
which is the German
for "paper company."
And the Eg,
Eglow, Eglonitz, Egria,
a German-speaking district
of Bohemia
noted for its numerous
glass factories
and paper mills, there.
Bohemia, the kingdom of Bohemia.
And the note is
written by a German.
You see, "this account of you
we have from
all quarters received,"
only a German is so
uncourteous to his words.
So we are to expect
a German from Bohemia.
Here he is,
drawn by a pair,
a nice little brougham.
There's money in this case,
Watson, if there's nothing else.
Holmes, I think your visitor
will want me out of the way.
Not a bit, Doctor,
stay where you are!
I am lost without my Boswell.
But he sounded so secretive.
I may need your help,
and so may he.
Now, stay in that armchair,
and give me your full attention.
Here he comes.
I'm sorry, sir,
but you cannot come in here
unannounced like this!
Mr. Holmes does not see anybody
without appointment!
Oh, I'm so sorry,
Mr. Holmes!
There was nothing I could do!
It's perfectly all right,
Mrs. Hudson!
If you would kindly leave us.
Yes.
And close the door.
Of course.
Thank you.
You read my note?
Yes. Pray take a seat!
This is my friend and
colleague, Dr. Watson,
who is occasionally good enough
to help me in my cases!
How do you do, sir.
Who do I have
the honor to address?
You may address me as the Count
Von Kramm, a Bohemian nobleman.
I should much prefer to
communicate with you alone.
No, it is both, or none.
You may say
before this gentleman
anything which you may wish
to say to me.
Very well, I take your word
that he is a man of honor
and discretion.
But I must begin by binding
you both to absolute secrecy
for a period of two years.
Indeed?
At the end of that time
the matter will be
of no importance.
At present it is of such weight
that it may have an influence
upon European history.
I promise.
And I.
You will excuse this mask.
The august person who employs me
wishes his agent
to be unknown to you.
In fact, I may confess that
the title I have given you
is not exactly my own.
I was aware of that.
The circumstances
are of great delicacy;
every precaution must be taken
to prevent an immense scandal
which would seriously compromise
one of the royal houses
of Europe.
To speak plainly,
the matter concerns
the great House of Ormstein,
hereditary kings of Bohemia.
I was aware of that, too,
your Majesty.
You are right...
I am the King.
Why should I attempt
to conceal it?
Why, indeed?
Your Majesty had not spoken
before I was aware
that I was addressing
Wilhelm Gottsreich
Sigismond von Ormstein,
Grand Duke of Cassel-Felstein,
and hereditary King of Bohemia.
And in passing,
the finest dualist in Europe.
You have killed four opponents.
Honorably.
Of course.
The facts are briefly these:
Ah!
Some 10 years ago, during
a lengthy visit to Warsaw,
I made the acquaintance
of the well known adventuress,
Irena Adler.
The name is no doubt
familiar to you.
Kindly look her up in my index,
will you, Watson.
So, I deduce that your Majesty
became entangled with this lady,
wrote her some
compromising letters,
and is now desirous
of getting them back.
Precisely so.
But how could you know that?
Italian general's staff...
Ah, Adler, Irena,
born New Jersey, 1858.
Is this the lady?
New Jersey, let me see.
Singer, contralto
appeared at La Scala, opera
houses Petersburg and Warsaw,
retired from the operatic stage,
now living in London,
makes occasional
concert appearances.
That is the lady.
Was there a secret marriage?
None.
No legal papers or certificates?
None.
Then I fail to follow
your Majesty.
If this person
should produce your letters
for blackmailing
or other purposes,
how is she to prove
their authenticity?
There is the writing.
Pooh, pooh! Forgery.
My private writing paper.
Stolen.
My own seal.
Imitated.
My photograph.
Bought.
We were both in that photograph.
Oh, dear, dear, dear.
Yes, that is very bad.
Your Majesty has certainly
committed an indiscretion.
She was beautiful, bewitching,
clever, daring.
I was only Crown Prince then.
I was young!
I am but 30 now.
Of course, your Majesty
has attempted to recover
the photograph?
We have tried and failed.
Then your Majesty must pay.
It must be bought.
She will not sell.
Stolen, then.
Five attempts have been made.
Twice burglars in my pay
ransacked her house.
Once we diverted her luggage
when she traveled.
Twice she has been waylaid.
There has been no sign of it.
You mock?!
It is serious!
Yes.
Yes, it is very serious, indeed.
Well, what does she propose
to do with this photograph
if not to extort money?
To ruin me.
How?
I'm about to be married.
So I've heard.
To the Princess Clotilde
Lothman von Saxe-Meningen,
and second daughter
to the King of Scandinavia.
It is a brilliant match.
Precisely.
But you will know the
strict principles of her family.
She's herself
the soul of delicacy.
A shadow of doubt
as to my conduct
would bring the matter
to an end.
And Irena Adler?
Threatens to send them
the photograph.
And she will do it.
She has a soul of steel.
She's more beautiful than
any other woman I've known,
more resolute than any man.
There are no lengths to which
she would not go, none,
to prevent my marriage
to another woman!
Your Majesty,
why is this lady so vindictive?
Oh, there was once
some talk of marriage.
Ha!
She would not see
that it was impossible!
You are sure that she has not
sent the photograph yet?
I am sure.
Why?
It may be on its way
at this very moment.
Because she has said
that she would send it
on the day when the betrothal
was publicly proclaimed.
That will be next Monday.
But I must leave London
on Friday
to be home for the ceremony.
Ah, then we do have three days.
Well, that is very fortunate,
for I do have
other matters in hand.
Where can I find
your Majesty in London?
At the Langham Hotel,
as the Count Von Kramm,
remember.
Yes, of course.
And as to expenditure?
Here are 300 pounds in gold,
and 700 in notes.
And Miss Irena Adler's address?
Goodnight, your Majesty,
and I trust we shall soon
have good news for you.
Holmes, we can dine at Romano's,
but we only have three days,
till Friday.
Oh, it must be settled
by Friday.
The composer Tchaikovsky
is conducting his own works
at the St. James's Hall.
No, no, no, no!
It must be settled by Friday.
My dear Watson,
I'd like to be alone.
You are hungry?
Yes.
I'm sure Mrs. Hudson will
bring you up a sandwich.
A sandwich?
We will not discuss this matter
until tomorrow afternoon.
Goodnight.
Better than working,
isn't it, mate?
What is?
Looking on.
I'll change with you
any time, gov.
And what position are you?
Eight weeks,
a mere first-class groom.
Are ya?
Well, you can give
me a hand if you like.
I see you're all right.
Why not?
Give her the price of the booze.
I thought it was the booze.
Strap the mare,
show us what you can do.
I spent a couple of hours
with the cabbie and his cronies.
Miss Irena Adler
has certainly turned all
men's heads in those parts.
She is the daintiest thing
under a bonnet on this planet,
so say the Serpentine-mews
fraternity, to a man.
She lives quietly,
drives out at five
in the evening,
returns at
seven sharp for dinner.
Seldom goes out at other times,
except when she sings.
She has only one male visitor,
but sees a good deal of him.
He never calls less than
once a day, and often twice.
His name is a Mr. Godfrey
Norton, of the Inner Temple.
You see the advantages of having
a cabman as a confidant.
Mr. Godfrey Norton is a lawyer,
that is important.
Ominous, perhaps.
Why his repeated visits?
Is she his client,
friend, or mistress?
If he is her lawyer,
he might have the photograph
to his strong box.
If her lover, he might
not even know of it.
She had just begun to sing,
she has the voice
of an angel, Watson,
when a truly surprising
chain of events overtook me,
starting with the arrival
of someone I presumed to be
Mr. Godfrey Noble.
Wait for me, will you.
Fetch your mistress's carriage.
Drive like the devil,
Church of St. Monica,
Edgeware Road.
I must arrive there at least
five minutes before 12:00.
That gives you 20 minutes.
Half a guinea if you do it.
She is a lovely woman, Watson,
with a face that
a man might die for.
A face a man might die for...
Unusual language
for you, Holmes.
A metaphor,
Watson, nothing else.
I was just about to sprint after
the landau and perch on the back
when another cab
came through the street.
He looked twice
at such a shabby fare,
but I jumped in before
he had time to object,
showed him a handful
of sovereigns
and promised him one
if he would get me to the Church
of St. Monica within 20 minutes.
Now, I don't think
that I have ever been driven
faster in a cab.
They were there before us.
Look, I'm very sorry,
Mr. Norton, but I...
For pity sake,
it's almost midday.
The latest time allowed by law.
I would have called in one
of those confounded churchmen
but I saw no reason to let them
know our business
and I sent them off for a drink.
Oh, dear Lord!
Godfrey.
You, you, come here, man!
Yes, I mean you!
We've only a few minutes left
or it won't be legal!
Come man, come!
Hold this and do as you're told.
You'll be paid.
Ah, we have our witness.
The ceremony may proceed.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered
here in the sight of God
to join together this man
and this woman in holy matrimony
which is an honorable estate
instituted of God
in the time of man's innocency,
signifying unto us
the mystical union
that is betwixt Christ
and his church.
Irena.
I allowed you to persuade me,
now you must allow me
to persuade you.
I shall see you tomorrow.
At the very first moment.
I love you.
John.
Hey, you!
Come here, my man.
Come here.
Godfrey, let me.
Sir, I want to thank you
for being so miraculously
present when we needed you.
How fortunate that you have
remained close by.
Well, I'm in no hurry, ma'm.
I hope you will accept this.
I don't need no tip, ma'm.
Oh, sir, let us call it
a little souvenir.
She gave me a sovereign.
Here it is.
What an extraordinary
turn of events!
I shall wear it
on my watch chain
in memory of the occasion.
And what now?
Well, during the ceremony
I thought my plans
had been overthrown.
If they had made
an immediate departure,
it would have necessitated
the most prompt and
energetic measures on my part.
But, he went back to the Temple,
and she went to her own home,
thus, giving us time to act.
How?
Doctor, I shall require all
your courage and alertness.
I shall be delighted!
You don't mind breaking the law?
Not in the least.
Nor running the chance
of arrest?
Not in a good cause.
Oh, the cause is excellent.
Well, then I am your man.
Splendid.
Now, the... the question is...
Holmes, you really do
look quite remarkable!
You know, the question is
where to find the photograph.
I mean, the house
has twice been burgled.
She was too clever for them.
She is a remarkable woman.
Well, they must
have searched very thoroughly.
They did not know how to look!
And how will you look?
I shall not look.
What then?
I will allow her to show me.
But she'll refuse.
She will not be able to.
Ah, we draw near
the scene of action.
We had better walk from here.
You know your instructions.
When you raise your hand, I act.
And we meet at the rendezvous
in 10 minutes.
Here she comes.
Oh, no, you don't.
I was here first.
I opened the door, lady.
He never, no, it was me!
Clear off, you two!
Let-me-go!
Opening carriage doors
is a legitimate means of
livelihood, Mr. [inaudible].
You ain't gonna stop
a man earning a copper, see.
Let me pass.
You there,
let go of my coachman!
Take the bread
from me mouth, would 'ya?
I'll fill your mouth, chum.
Oh!
Oh, no, no, please,
please don't, men,
please, I beg you,
please I beg of you!
Madam, I must protect you!
Now stop that,
you and you, stop that.
Oh!
Stand back!
You see what you've done!
He's dead!
Scamper, mate,
before the coppers come!
He's still breathing,
but he's taken a bad knock.
I am sorry, ma'am.
You did your best, John.
Is he badly hurt?
It is only superficial,
but he needs attention, quickly.
But he can't lie on the street.
Bring him into the house.
All right, sir.
Oh, you're conscious.
Thank goodness,
you are a brave man.
Over here, Willot.
No, no, stand back,
I shall look after
my friend in need.
Sir, will you look toward me.
Oh, it is no sight for a lady.
I have strong nerves,
dear friend.
No, no, I cannot permit.
Thank you.
A bandage.
As you wish.
I'm so relieved that
your wound isn't serious.
Well, it is but shallow,
and the concussion wears off.
How extraordinary.
Madam?
That so many people
should gather in such
a quiet little turning.
Well, it's the gang, madam,
it was all pre-arranged
to rob you.
All those men
to snatch one little purse.
Oh, no, dear friend,
it wouldn't have paid them.
My vocation takes me
much amongst the poor
and even
the criminal classes, madam.
Look at those people staring,
curiosity is so unseemly,
but I fear universal.
Oh, I am so sorry,
I think I'm going to faint.
Oh, air, I need some air!
Willot, the window!
Oh!
Some drinking water.
Are there any smelling salts?
Madam, madam,
I think I can smell fire.
What?
Fire, fire!
Fire, fire, fire!
There's a fire, is there?
Madam, come out of here quickly!
I'll take care
of the old gentleman!
I can't breathe.
It's a false alarm!
It's a false alarm, look!
It's a trick, it's a...
Tell them... tell them!
There's a fire!
It's a false alarm, do you hear?
We do not need the fire engine!
What is it?
It is a plumber's rocket, madam,
one of my flock is a plumber.
It is ignited by a cap,
and sends smoke into pipes
to betray cracks and holes.
No, no, no, no, no,
it's all right.
It will disperse.
You said it was a trick.
Who would play
such a trick on me?
One of the gang, madam.
But to what purpose?
I've escaped them.
Revenge.
Revenge?
Are there such wicked people?
There are people
in this world, madam,
to whom revenge is
in itself a reward.
I cannot imagine such feelings.
I'm sure you cannot, madam.
Well, I am feeling more myself.
I must be on my way.
Oh, please stay,
some refreshment.
Well, one of my flock
expects me.
Won't you let
my carriage take you?
Oh, no, no, no,
the air will aid my recovery.
At least your name,
your address,
that I may thank you adequately.
Well, I am just
a humble servant, madam,
of the all seeing providence.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
You did it very nicely, Doctor.
You have the photograph?
No, but I know where it is.
How did you find out?
She showed me,
as I told you she would.
The trouble is, it still remains
in her possession.
You may have lost
your one chance, Holmes.
No.
I shall call
early tomorrow morning.
You'll call there?
And as my own self,
and with the King.
The King?!
And with you, Watson!
You must be a witness
at the end of our quest.
I trust you will sleep well
tonight for a change, Holmes.
Well, there's nothing like
success for curing insomnia.
Goodnight,
Mr. Sherlock Holmes,
and Watson.
Holmes?
But she could not love him.
I am in hopes that she does.
Why?
Because it would
spare your Majesty
all fear of future annoyance.
If she loves her husband, then
she does not love your Majesty.
And if she does not
love your Majesty,
why should she interfere
with your Majesty's marriage.
Mr. Sherlock Holmes,
I believe.
I am Mr. Holmes.
My mistress told me
you were likely to call.
She left this morning with
her husband by the 5:15 train
from Charing Cross
for the Continent.
She has left England?
Never to return, sir.
All is lost.
Well then, get at it.
This is not it!
Holmes, this is
a different photograph!
Do you hear me, man?!
The letter.
It is addressed to me.
"My Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes:
You did it very well.
You took me in completely.
Until after the alarm of fire,
I had not a suspicion.
But then, when I found
that I had betrayed myself,
it flashed into my mind
that I had been warned
against you months ago.
I had been told that if
the King employed an agent
it would certainly be you.
Yet, with all this,
you made me reveal
what you wanted to know.
Even before when the presence
of so many people in the street
had sounded an alarm
in my instinct,
I could not think evil of such
a dear, kind old clergyman.
But, you know,
I have been trained
as an actress myself,
and male costume
is nothing new to me.
Yes, it was I who followed you
to your door,
just to make sure
that you really were the
celebrated Mr. Sherlock Holmes.
It was I who rather imprudently,
wished you goodnight.
Then I started for the Temple
to see my new husband.
We had married in secret
in case we needed to leave
the country to elude the King.
Your appearance on the scene
was the signal for flight.
You are too formidable
an antagonist.
You will find the nest empty
when you call tomorrow.
As to the photograph,
your client may rest in peace.
I love and am loved
by a better man than he."
"The King may"...
"The King may do what he will
without hindrance from one
whom he has cruelly wronged.
I kept it only
to safeguard myself,
and to preserve a weapon
which will always secure me
from any steps
he may take."
There is more.
"I leave another photograph
which he might care to possess;
and I remain,
dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes,
very truly yours,
Irena Norton, nee Adler."
What a woman!
What a queen
she would have made!
Is it not a pity
she was not on my level.
From what I have seen
of the lady,
yes, indeed, she is on a very
different level to your Majesty.
I am only so sorry that I have
failed in my commission.
On the contrary, my dear sir,
nothing could be
more successful.
I know that her word
is inviolate.
The photograph is now as safe
as if it were in the fire.
I am glad that
your Majesty thinks so.
I am immensely indebted to you.
Pray, tell me in
what way I can reward you.
This ring?
Your Majesty has something
which I should value
even more highly.
You have but to name it.
This.
Irena's photograph?
Certainly, if you wish it.
Then I have the honor
to wish your Majesty
a very good morning.
And that was how a great scandal
threatened the Kingdom
of Bohemia,
and how the best plans
of Mr. Sherlock Holmes
were beaten by a woman's wit.
He used to sneer much
at the cleverness of women,
but I have not heard him
do it of late.
And when he speaks
of Irena Adler,
or when he refers to that woman,
it is always under the honorable
title of "the woman."
In his eyes, she eclipses
the whole of her sex.
It was not that he ever
betrayed any sign of love
for Irena Adler,
all emotions such as that one
are abhorrent to
his cold, precise mind.
He only looks on women
pathologically,
as the source of motives, clues.
And yet, he keeps her
photograph apart, locked up.
There is but one woman to him,
the beautiful Irena Adler, of
dubious and questionable memory.