The Adventures of Paddington Bear (1997–2013): Season 1, Episode 12 - Episode #1.12 - full transcript
♪ LEFT PERU AND SAILED
TO ENGLAND ALONE ♪
♪ THERE HE MET THE BROWNS
♪ AND THEY TOOK HIM HOME
♪ NOW A NEW LIFE HAS BEGUN
♪ HE'S WINDSOR GARDENS'
FAVORITE SON ♪
♪ CAUSE HE ALWAYS DOES HIS
BEST TO HELP EVERYONE ♪
♪ WHEN A PROBLEM APPEARS
♪ HE NEVER MISSES A BEAT
♪ AND ALWAYS FINDS A WAY
TO LAND ON HIS FEET ♪
♪ HE HAS HIS VERY OWN
UNIQUE POINT OF VIEW ♪
♪ LOOKS AT EVERYTHING
AS IF IT'S BRAND-NEW ♪
♪ HE IS FRIENDLY AND POLITE
♪ AND HE TRIES TO
DO THINGS RIGHT ♪
♪ BUT HE GETS IN STICKY MESSES
♪ JUST THE SAME
♪ HE'S CURIOUS AND
SPEAKS HIS MIND ♪
♪ BUT TROUBLE'S NEVER
FAR BEHIND ♪
♪ IT'S PADDINGTON BEAR
HE'S ONE OF A KIND ♪♪
-I'M PADDINGTON BEAR!
-I HAD JUST WATCHED AN EPISODE
OF DICK DALE, PRIVATE EYE,
ON TELEVISION
AND LEARNED THAT A GOOD
DETECTIVE IS ALWAYS
ON THE LOOKOUT
FOR SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS.
DICK DALE SAYS YOU HAVE
TO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED,
THEN FOLLOW THE SCENT.
[SNIFFING]
[BARKING]
BUT I HAD BEEN
AT IT ALL MORNING
AND WAS STILL LOOKING
FOR A MYSTERY TO SOLVE.
AFTER ALL, WHAT'S A DETECTIVE
WITHOUT A MYSTERY?
I HOPED THAT SOONER OR LATER,
SOMETHING WOULD TURN UP...
ATCHOO!
BUT PERHAPS IT WAS NOW TIME
TO LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE.
DICK DALE GETS A LOT OF
HIS CASES FROM THE POLICE.
THEY CALL HIM IN WHENEVER
THEY HAVE A REALLY DIFFICULT
CRIME TO SOLVE.
SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT TRY
MY LUCK AT THE LOCAL
POLICE STATION.
- YOU SAW A SUSPICIOUS CHARACTER
HIDING IN A DUSTBIN?
SHORT, WITH A LARGE NOSE,
DRESSED IN A RED HAT
AND DUFFLE COAT?
OH YES, MADAM! WE'LL GET
ON TO IT RIGHT AWAY.
YES, RIGHT AWAY... HA!
GOOD AFTERNOON. HERE... HAVEN'T
I SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE BEFORE?
- MY NAME'S PADDINGTON BROWN
AND I LIVE NEAR HERE.
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAVE ANY
CRIMES THAT NEED SOLVING?
-CRIMES?
-I COULD DO SOME UNDERCOVER
WORK, LIKE DICK DALE. BEARS
ARE GOOD AT THAT.
- DICK WHO?
- YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
DICK DALE, PRIVATE EYE?
HE'S THE GREATEST DETECTIVE
IN THE WORLD!
- OH, HE IS, IS HE? AND I SUPPOSE
YOU ARE SHERLOCK HOLMES?
HEY? HUM...
- THE POLICE WEREN'T
VERY COOPERATIVE.
[SIGHING]
I WAS GETTING
PRETTY DISCOURAGED,
BUT THEN I STRUCK IT LUCKY
WHEN A FOG ROLLED IN!
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT
THE GREATEST DETECTIVE
CASES START IN A FOG.
I MADE MY WAY UP THE PORTOBELLO
ROAD, JUST TO SEE WHAT
I MIGHT RUN INTO.
OW!
OH!
THAT POOR LADY!
SHE NEEDS HELP.
- OH! HELLO THERE, FRANK.
HOW ARE THINGS IN THE STORE?
- NOT GOOD. WE'VE HAD
A RUN OF THEFTS LATELY.
I THINK IT MIGHT BE AN INSIDE
JOB, BUT WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT
HOW THEY'RE GETTING THE STUFF
PAST OUR SECURITY SYSTEM.
- HUM...
- OFFICER, YOU'VE
GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
I'VE JUST SEEN A LADY
BEING KIDNAPPED.
-HANG ON A MOMENT.
AREN'T YOU THAT BEAR WHO
CAME INTO THE STATION JUST NOW?
-YES. AND I SAW THE WHOLE THING.
A MAN WITH NO HAIR
GRABBED HER FROM BEHIND
AND STARTED SHAKING HER,
THEN HE CARRIED HER IN THERE.
- IN THERE? THAT'S
KIMBLE'S DEPARTMENT STORE.
I CAN ASSURE YOU, MY FRIEND, NO
ONE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED IN THERE.
-DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HIM,
FRANK. HE'S JUST SEEN TOO
MANY DETECTIVE SHOWS
ON TELEVISION.
-SOMETHING TOLD ME I
WASN'T GETTING ANYWHERE.
THERE WAS NOTHING FOR IT
BUT TO TAKE OVER
THE CASE MYSELF.
-HEY! YOU! WAIT A MINUTE!
-I HAD TO STAY OUT OF SIGHT
UNTIL I COULD FIND OUT
WHAT WAS GOING ON.
-HE'S SHORT, WITH A LARGE NOSE,
DRESSED IN A RED HAT
AND DUFFLE COAT.
-THERE HE IS!
-OH!
HUM...
OH! - SIR LANCELOT FOR MEN?
-EXCUSE ME?
-IT'S COLOGNE. TRY SOME.
[BEEP! BEEP!]
AH, AH! METHINKS
IT IS LUNCH TIME.
IT GETS A BIT HOT IN HERE.
-I NEEDED A DISGUISE.
SOMETHING TO MAKE ME
INCONSPICUOUS AS I LOOKED
FOR THE MAN WITH NO HAIR.
SIR LANCELOT FOR MEN?
-HEY?
[COUGHING]
-MY DISGUISE PAID OFF.
I FINALLY SPOTTED THE KIDNAPPER.
BUT NOW THAT I'D FOUND HIM,
I NEEDED TO GET SOME EVIDENCE.
-HEY! COME BACK HERE!
STOP! THIEF!
-IT'S HIM! SPREAD OUT!
- OH!
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?
- HMM... NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.
- GIMME THAT CAMERA!
- SIR LANCELOT FOR MEN?
- HEY!
AH! [COUGHING]
-ALL RIGHT, THE GAME'S UP.
-WAIT, YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THIS.
-I KNOW THAT MAN. HE WORKS
ON THE MANNEQUINS
AND DRESS DUMMIES.
-THERE SHE IS!
THAT'S THE LADY HE GRABBED
IN THE ALLEY.
- THAT'S NO LADY, THAT'S A DUMMY.
- A DUMMY!
-HERE...
WHAT'S THIS?
OH, OH!
- SO THAT'S HOW HE SMUGGLED
THE GOODS OUT OF THE STORE:
INSIDE THIS DUMMY. INCREDIBLE!
- BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MAN
WITH NO HAIR?
- I'M AFRAID HE'S PROBABLY
LONG GONE BY NOW.
[SNIFFING]
WHAT IS IT?
-IT'S HIM!
- UH...
- HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS HIM?
-SIMPLE. SIR LANCELOT FOR MEN.
- I UNDERESTIMATED YOU,
MY FRIEND.
HOW DID YOU EVER GET TO BE
SUCH A GOOD DETECTIVE?
- I DID WHAT DICK DALE DOES:
I KEPT MY EYES PEELED,
THEN I SIMPLY FOLLOWED THE
SCENT. BEARS DO IT ALL THE TIME.
-Mr. GRUBER AND I WERE VISITING
THE GREAT WALL OF
CHINA FOR HIS BOOK,
THE WORLD AND ITS WONDERS.
CHINA IS ALSO THE HOME OF
FIREWORKS, KITES AND DRAGONS,
SO I REALLY SHOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN TOO SURPRISED
TO FIND MYSELF SAVING A
DRAGON FROM A HIGH PLACE.
-OH! DO BE CAREFUL, Mr. BROWN!
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON'T MOVE!
OH!
OH! - OH!
-OH!
[THE CROWD]: AH! [APPLAUSE]
-THANK YOU, Mr. GRUBER.
- IT'S A GOOD THING Mrs. BIRD
LENT YOU HER UMBRELLA.
- SHE DID SAY IT MIGHT
COME IN USEFUL.
AH! LOOK, Mr. GRUBER.
I BROKE THE DRAGON.
- HA! HA! HA! THEY'RE CIRCUS
PERFORMERS, Mr. BROWN.
-EXCELLENT! WONDERFUL!
THAT'S JUST WHAT OUR HIGH
WIRE DRAGON ACT NEEDS:
A SPECTACULAR FINISH.
MY NAME IS XIA JIJU AND THIS
IS MY TRAVELLING CIRCUS.
- I AM Mr. GRUBER AND
THIS IS Mr. BROWN.
WE CAME TO WATCH THE SHOW AFTER
VISITING THE GREAT WALL.
NEITHER OF US HAVE EVER SEEN
A CHINESE CIRCUS BEFORE.
- SADLY, THAT IS THE SAME
WITH MANY PEOPLE.
AS THE WEEKS PASS,
THE CROWDS GROW SMALLER
AND OUR CIRCUS GROWS POORER.
BUT NOW A GIFTED
PERFORMER IS AMONG US!
-OH YES? UH... WHERE?
- THE BEAR!
- BEARS ARE GOOD AT
PERFORMING, Mrs. JIJU.
-PERHAPS I MAY ASK YOU TO COME
TOMORROW AND FIND MORE WAYS
TO IMPROVE OUR CIRCUS,
LIKE WITH THE DRAGON ACT.
- THEY DON'T SEEM VERY HAPPY
WITH OUR IMPROVEMENT.
-WHAT DO YOU SAY, Mr. BROWN?
OUR CIRCUS EXPERIENCE WOULD
BE A NICE ADDITION TO MY BOOK,
THE WORLD AND ITS WONDERS.
- I THINK I SHALL LIKE BEING
IN A CIRCUS, Mr. GRUBER.
I WASN'T SURE WHAT Mrs.
JIJU WAS WORRIED ABOUT.
THE PLATE SPINNER
DIDN'T NEED ANY HELP
AND I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY WAY
TO IMPROVE THE BALANCING ACT.
BUT I WANTED TO DO A
GOOD JOB FOR Mrs. JIJU,
SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A SEAT
AND WATCH THE SHOW.
-AH...
-WHOA!
-OH!
- I'M SORRY. I SEEM TO
HAVE TAKEN YOUR SEAT.
- I THINK XIA JIJU WANTED US TO
OBSERVE, Mr. BROWN, NOT PERFORM.
BUT THAT WAS A VERY GOOD TRICK.
- COMING UP WITH IDEAS WAS
PROVING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT,
EVEN IF Mrs. BIRD SAYS I GET
TOO MANY IDEAS FOR MY OWN GOOD.
HERE, LET ME HELP.
-Mr. BROWN!
I THINK YOU'D BETTER GET DOWN!
-I ONLY WISH I COULD.
-AH!
- COME BACK, Mr. BROWN,
COME BACK!
TURN AROUND, Mr. BROWN,
TURN AROUND!
[CHEERS]
-BRILLIANT!
-WHOA!
[LAUGHTER]
- OH DEAR. I DON'T THINK WE'RE
DOING VERY WELL, Mr. GRUBER.
-PERHAPS TOMORROW, Mr. BROWN.
NOW, I WONDER WHERE
WE SHOULD START TODAY...
- I HAVE THE FEELING
SOME PERFORMERS
WOULD LIKE US TO START AT
THE BEGINNING, Mr. GRUBER:
BEFORE WE'D EVEN LEFT LONDON.
- AH!!!
-OH! HE'S VERY GOOD.
- I'M SURE HE DOESN'T
WANT OUR HELP.
-OH!
[LAUGHTER]
- Mr. BROWN, I'M AFRAID
I NEED SOME ASSISTANCE.
- SO DO I, Mr. GRUBER.
- AH!
-OH, GOODNESS!
-OH!
-THIS IS MOST UNDIGNIFIED.
-SO IS THIS, Mr. GRUBER.
-AH!
- WE HAVEN'T COME UP WITH
A SINGLE IDEA, Mr. BROWN.
- Mrs. BIRD WOULD BE
VERY DISAPPOINTED.
- THERE YOU ARE!
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR
ALL YOUR WONDERFUL IDEAS.
- OUR IDEAS? [BOTH]: WHAT IDEAS?
-YOU SEE?
WE HAVEN'T HAD A CROWD
THIS BIG IN MONTHS!
NOW HURRY AND GET INTO COSTUME.
YOU'LL BE ON SOON.
[BOTH]: ON?
- I HOPE MY STINT IN THE
BARREL WENT UNNOTICED.
I DON'T THINK I SHOULD LIKE
TO REPEAT THAT PERFORMANCE.
-AND THE CYCLIST WASN'T VERY
PLEASED ABOUT HAVING
FUR IN HIS EYES.
-HURRY! FOLLOW ME.
-SHOULDN'T WE REHEARSE FIRST?
WHOA!
AH, THAT WAS INVIGORATING.
-WELL DONE, Mr. GRUBER!
WAAAH!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THEY SEEM TO LIKE OUR IDEAS,
Mr. GRUBER, BUT... WHAT WILL
WE DO FOR AN ENCORE?
- PERHAPS WE CAN
TRY GETTING DOWN.
OH!!!
YOU KNOW, Mr. BROWN, THEY
DO SAY YOU CAN'T TEACH
AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS,
BUT I THINK WE LEARNED A FEW
WHILE WE WERE IN CHINA.
-WE CERTAINLY DID, Mr. GRUBER,
BUT HOME IS WHERE
YOU HANG YOUR HAT.
-AND PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.
ARE YOU READY?
- READY, Mr. GRUBER.
- ALLEY HOOP!
-WHOA!
- DEAR AUNT LUCY. MY LATEST
ADVENTURE CAME ABOUT
ALL BECAUSE I'D MANAGED TO
UPSET MY NEIGHBOUR... AGAIN.
-YOU STARTED A FIRE
IN Mr. CURRY'S KITCHEN?
-IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
BUT BEING Mr. CURRY,
HE BLAMED IT ALL ON ME.
WHAT'S HAPPENING, Mr. GRUBER?
- THE POLICE HAVE
ARRESTED THAT MAN.
THEY MUST BELIEVE HE'S
DONE SOMETHING WRONG.
- LIKE ACCIDENTALLY STARTING
A FIRE IN SOMEONE'S KITCHEN?
-HA! HA! HA! I DON'T THINK
THE POLICE WILL ARREST
YOU WITHOUT PROOF,
Mr. BROWN. IN THIS COUNTRY,
YOU'RE CONSIDERED INNOCENT
UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY
BY A COURT OF LAW.
- I AM? GOOD. I SHALL HAVE
TO TELL Mr. CURRY THAT.
HMM... WHAT'S A COURT OF LAW,
Mr. GRUBER?
AND THAT'S HOW I ENDED UP
VISITING A LAW COURT.
-UH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING YOUR
SUITCASE THROUGH THE SCANNER?
- I HOPE IT COMES OUT
THE OTHER SIDE.
- DON'T WORRY, SIR.
WE'VE NEVER LOST ONE YET.
- WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU FIND
SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS?
- IF NEED BE, WE BLOW
IT UP WITH THAT.
MAY I ASK YOU WHAT THE
SMALL SQUARE OBJECT IS?
-IT'S A MARMALADE SANDWICH.
YOU CAN SEE THE CHUNKS
ON THE X-RAY.
-WELL SIR, I'M AFRAID
WE DON'T ALLOW FOOD IN COURT.
I MUST ASK YOU TO PUT IT
IN THIS BAG WHILE YOU'RE
ON THE PREMISES.
-AN IMPORTANT THING, Mr. BROWN,
IS THAT THE COURTS ARE ALWAYS
OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.
FOR EXAMPLE...
I... DON'T... BELIEVE IT!
- Mr. BROWN?
- YES, THAT'S ME.
- WELL, COME ALONG THEN.
THE COURT'S READY FOR YOU.
- I DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK
THE "NO FOOD IN COURT" POLICY.
-THERE WE GO.
READY TO SEE A LITTLE JUSTICE
AT WORK, Mr. BROWN?
Mr. BROWN?
-LET US BEGIN.
GOOD MORNING. I'M CLOUDSWORTHY,
THE PROSECUTING COUNSEL.
PLEASE TAKE THE STAND.
-THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I WASN'T SURE WHY
Mr. CLOUDSWORTHY WANTED
ME TO STAND IN A BOX,
BUT IT DID HAVE THE
BEST VIEW IN THE ROOM.
-Mr. BROWN. DO YOU SWEAR TO...
- OH NO! I NEVER SWEAR.
IT'S RUDE.
- NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
[LAUGHTER]
DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH,
THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING
BUT THE TRUTH?
- OF COURSE! AUNT LUCY TAUGHT
ME NEVER TO TELL LIES.
[LAUGHTER]
- SILENCE! WHO IS THIS AUNT LUCY?
AND WHY ISN'T SHE
LISTED AS A WITNESS?
- UH... I CAN'T FIND ANY
MENTION OF HER, MILORD.
-SO YOU DON'T PLAN TO CALL HER?
-I DON'T THINK SHE'D HEAR
YOU EVEN IF YOU DID.
AUNT LUCY'S IN PERU.
- PERU?
- UH, WITH RESPECT, MILORD,
BUT I DON'T THINK AUNT
LUCY IS VERY IMPORTANT.
- NOT IMPORTANT?
AUNT LUCY IS VERY IMPORTANT.
YOU SHOULD ASK Mrs. BIRD.
- Mrs. BIRD?
- REALLY, Mr. CLOUDSWORTHY!
YOU HAVE TO DO A BETTER JOB
KEEPING TRACK OF YOUR WITNESSES.
CALL Mrs. BIRD.
-CALLING Mrs. BIRD!
-I DON'T THINK Mrs. BIRD
WILL HEAR YOU EITHER.
SHE'S OUT SHOPPING.
-Mrs. BIRD'S OUT SHOPPING?
REALLY, THIS IS
BECOMING INTOLERABLE.
[SCANDALIZED MURMUR]
ENOUGH!
I'LL DEAL WITH THE MISSING
WITNESSES LATER.
BUT RIGHT NOW, PERHAPS Mr.
CLOUDSWORTHY CAN PRESENT
WHAT'S LEFT OF HIS CASE.
-YES, MILORD. UH...
"IN THE CASE AGAINST Mr. BROWN
AND HIS NEIGHBOUR Mr. MURRAY..."
- CURRY.
- MURRAY. IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE.
- I'M SURE IT DOES, BUT MY
NEIGHBOUR'S NAME IS Mr. CURRY.
[SCANDALIZED MURMUR]
[SNIFFING AND BARKING]
-HOLD IT. CAREFUL NOW. SIT. SIT!
SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE ON
BENCH OUTSIDE COURT 3.
REQUEST IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE.
[BARKING] NOT ME, YOU TWIT!
- ALL IN ALL, I WAS VERY
IMPRESSED AT HOW FAST
THE COURTS HAD TAKEN CHARGE
OF Mr. CURRY'S KITCHEN CASE.
AND THEN, HE ACCUSED
ME OF SETTING FIRE TO HIS
FEATHER DUSTER DELIBERATELY,
BUT IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT.
- A FEATHER DUSTER? UPON MY SOUL,
WHAT IS THIS COURT COMING TO?
- I'M SURE THERE'S A REASONABLE
EXPLANATION FOR Mr. MURRAY...
I MEAN, Mr. CURRY'S OUTRAGEOUS
BEHAVIOUR, MILORD.
[ALARM]
-THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
PLEASE EVACUATE THE PREMISES.
REMAIN CALM.
-Mr. BROWN?
-YES, I'M Mr. BROWN.
-I JUST SAW A Mr. BROWN
IN COURT FOR A CASE
AGAINST HIS NEIGHBOUR.
-OH NO! THE Mr. BROWN
I'M LOOKING FOR WASN'T
HERE TO GO TO COURT.
YOU MUST BE TALKING ABOUT
ANOTHER Mr. BROWN.
- Mr. GRUBER.
- Mr. BROWN.
-YES?
I'M Mr. BROWN AND I'M HERE FOR
A CASE AGAINST MY NEIGHBOUR,
Mr. MURRAY.
- MURRAY HERE. WHO'S CALLING?
[BOTH]: YOU!!!
-IF YOU HADN'T BUILT THAT FENCE
AND CUT OFF MY ACCESS
TO THE RIVER,
NONE OF THIS WOULD
HAVE HAPPENED!
- WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE
HAD TO BUILD THAT FENCE
IF YOUR DOG HAD STOPPED
MISBEHAVING IN MY GARDEN!
-YOU COULD LOOSEN A SLAT
IN THE FENCE. THAT'S WHAT
Mr. CURRY AND I DID.
AND NOW WE CAN BOTH
GET THROUGH EASILY.
- HEY! THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
- COULD WORK.
- WELL, WHATEVER THE CONFUSION,
I'M GLAD IT'S ALL CLEARED UP.
NOW WE JUST HAVE THAT
BOMB TO WORRY ABOUT.
- OW! THAT WAS MY MARMALADE
SANDWICH YOU'VE JUST BLOWN UP.
-YOUR MARMALADE SANDWICH?
- I LEFT IT OUTSIDE
THE COURTROOM.
- HMM... HMM... I DON'T
WONDER YOU'RE UPSET.
THIS IS VERY GOOD MARMALADE.
- IT'S SOME OF Mrs.
BIRD'S SPECIAL.
-Mrs. BIRD? ISN'T SHE
THE WITNESS WHO'S OUT
DOING HER SHOPPING?
THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS
OFFENCE, YOU KNOW.
- Mr. GRUBER SAYS THAT IN
AN ENGLISH COURT OF LAW,
YOU'RE INNOCENT UNTIL
YOU'RE PROVEN GUILTY.
-TRUE, Mr. BROWN, VERY TRUE.
TO ENGLAND ALONE ♪
♪ THERE HE MET THE BROWNS
♪ AND THEY TOOK HIM HOME
♪ NOW A NEW LIFE HAS BEGUN
♪ HE'S WINDSOR GARDENS'
FAVORITE SON ♪
♪ CAUSE HE ALWAYS DOES HIS
BEST TO HELP EVERYONE ♪
♪ WHEN A PROBLEM APPEARS
♪ HE NEVER MISSES A BEAT
♪ AND ALWAYS FINDS A WAY
TO LAND ON HIS FEET ♪
♪ HE HAS HIS VERY OWN
UNIQUE POINT OF VIEW ♪
♪ LOOKS AT EVERYTHING
AS IF IT'S BRAND-NEW ♪
♪ HE IS FRIENDLY AND POLITE
♪ AND HE TRIES TO
DO THINGS RIGHT ♪
♪ BUT HE GETS IN STICKY MESSES
♪ JUST THE SAME
♪ HE'S CURIOUS AND
SPEAKS HIS MIND ♪
♪ BUT TROUBLE'S NEVER
FAR BEHIND ♪
♪ IT'S PADDINGTON BEAR
HE'S ONE OF A KIND ♪♪
-I'M PADDINGTON BEAR!
-I HAD JUST WATCHED AN EPISODE
OF DICK DALE, PRIVATE EYE,
ON TELEVISION
AND LEARNED THAT A GOOD
DETECTIVE IS ALWAYS
ON THE LOOKOUT
FOR SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS.
DICK DALE SAYS YOU HAVE
TO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED,
THEN FOLLOW THE SCENT.
[SNIFFING]
[BARKING]
BUT I HAD BEEN
AT IT ALL MORNING
AND WAS STILL LOOKING
FOR A MYSTERY TO SOLVE.
AFTER ALL, WHAT'S A DETECTIVE
WITHOUT A MYSTERY?
I HOPED THAT SOONER OR LATER,
SOMETHING WOULD TURN UP...
ATCHOO!
BUT PERHAPS IT WAS NOW TIME
TO LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE.
DICK DALE GETS A LOT OF
HIS CASES FROM THE POLICE.
THEY CALL HIM IN WHENEVER
THEY HAVE A REALLY DIFFICULT
CRIME TO SOLVE.
SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT TRY
MY LUCK AT THE LOCAL
POLICE STATION.
- YOU SAW A SUSPICIOUS CHARACTER
HIDING IN A DUSTBIN?
SHORT, WITH A LARGE NOSE,
DRESSED IN A RED HAT
AND DUFFLE COAT?
OH YES, MADAM! WE'LL GET
ON TO IT RIGHT AWAY.
YES, RIGHT AWAY... HA!
GOOD AFTERNOON. HERE... HAVEN'T
I SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE BEFORE?
- MY NAME'S PADDINGTON BROWN
AND I LIVE NEAR HERE.
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAVE ANY
CRIMES THAT NEED SOLVING?
-CRIMES?
-I COULD DO SOME UNDERCOVER
WORK, LIKE DICK DALE. BEARS
ARE GOOD AT THAT.
- DICK WHO?
- YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
DICK DALE, PRIVATE EYE?
HE'S THE GREATEST DETECTIVE
IN THE WORLD!
- OH, HE IS, IS HE? AND I SUPPOSE
YOU ARE SHERLOCK HOLMES?
HEY? HUM...
- THE POLICE WEREN'T
VERY COOPERATIVE.
[SIGHING]
I WAS GETTING
PRETTY DISCOURAGED,
BUT THEN I STRUCK IT LUCKY
WHEN A FOG ROLLED IN!
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT
THE GREATEST DETECTIVE
CASES START IN A FOG.
I MADE MY WAY UP THE PORTOBELLO
ROAD, JUST TO SEE WHAT
I MIGHT RUN INTO.
OW!
OH!
THAT POOR LADY!
SHE NEEDS HELP.
- OH! HELLO THERE, FRANK.
HOW ARE THINGS IN THE STORE?
- NOT GOOD. WE'VE HAD
A RUN OF THEFTS LATELY.
I THINK IT MIGHT BE AN INSIDE
JOB, BUT WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT
HOW THEY'RE GETTING THE STUFF
PAST OUR SECURITY SYSTEM.
- HUM...
- OFFICER, YOU'VE
GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
I'VE JUST SEEN A LADY
BEING KIDNAPPED.
-HANG ON A MOMENT.
AREN'T YOU THAT BEAR WHO
CAME INTO THE STATION JUST NOW?
-YES. AND I SAW THE WHOLE THING.
A MAN WITH NO HAIR
GRABBED HER FROM BEHIND
AND STARTED SHAKING HER,
THEN HE CARRIED HER IN THERE.
- IN THERE? THAT'S
KIMBLE'S DEPARTMENT STORE.
I CAN ASSURE YOU, MY FRIEND, NO
ONE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED IN THERE.
-DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HIM,
FRANK. HE'S JUST SEEN TOO
MANY DETECTIVE SHOWS
ON TELEVISION.
-SOMETHING TOLD ME I
WASN'T GETTING ANYWHERE.
THERE WAS NOTHING FOR IT
BUT TO TAKE OVER
THE CASE MYSELF.
-HEY! YOU! WAIT A MINUTE!
-I HAD TO STAY OUT OF SIGHT
UNTIL I COULD FIND OUT
WHAT WAS GOING ON.
-HE'S SHORT, WITH A LARGE NOSE,
DRESSED IN A RED HAT
AND DUFFLE COAT.
-THERE HE IS!
-OH!
HUM...
OH! - SIR LANCELOT FOR MEN?
-EXCUSE ME?
-IT'S COLOGNE. TRY SOME.
[BEEP! BEEP!]
AH, AH! METHINKS
IT IS LUNCH TIME.
IT GETS A BIT HOT IN HERE.
-I NEEDED A DISGUISE.
SOMETHING TO MAKE ME
INCONSPICUOUS AS I LOOKED
FOR THE MAN WITH NO HAIR.
SIR LANCELOT FOR MEN?
-HEY?
[COUGHING]
-MY DISGUISE PAID OFF.
I FINALLY SPOTTED THE KIDNAPPER.
BUT NOW THAT I'D FOUND HIM,
I NEEDED TO GET SOME EVIDENCE.
-HEY! COME BACK HERE!
STOP! THIEF!
-IT'S HIM! SPREAD OUT!
- OH!
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?
- HMM... NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.
- GIMME THAT CAMERA!
- SIR LANCELOT FOR MEN?
- HEY!
AH! [COUGHING]
-ALL RIGHT, THE GAME'S UP.
-WAIT, YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THIS.
-I KNOW THAT MAN. HE WORKS
ON THE MANNEQUINS
AND DRESS DUMMIES.
-THERE SHE IS!
THAT'S THE LADY HE GRABBED
IN THE ALLEY.
- THAT'S NO LADY, THAT'S A DUMMY.
- A DUMMY!
-HERE...
WHAT'S THIS?
OH, OH!
- SO THAT'S HOW HE SMUGGLED
THE GOODS OUT OF THE STORE:
INSIDE THIS DUMMY. INCREDIBLE!
- BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MAN
WITH NO HAIR?
- I'M AFRAID HE'S PROBABLY
LONG GONE BY NOW.
[SNIFFING]
WHAT IS IT?
-IT'S HIM!
- UH...
- HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS HIM?
-SIMPLE. SIR LANCELOT FOR MEN.
- I UNDERESTIMATED YOU,
MY FRIEND.
HOW DID YOU EVER GET TO BE
SUCH A GOOD DETECTIVE?
- I DID WHAT DICK DALE DOES:
I KEPT MY EYES PEELED,
THEN I SIMPLY FOLLOWED THE
SCENT. BEARS DO IT ALL THE TIME.
-Mr. GRUBER AND I WERE VISITING
THE GREAT WALL OF
CHINA FOR HIS BOOK,
THE WORLD AND ITS WONDERS.
CHINA IS ALSO THE HOME OF
FIREWORKS, KITES AND DRAGONS,
SO I REALLY SHOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN TOO SURPRISED
TO FIND MYSELF SAVING A
DRAGON FROM A HIGH PLACE.
-OH! DO BE CAREFUL, Mr. BROWN!
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON'T MOVE!
OH!
OH! - OH!
-OH!
[THE CROWD]: AH! [APPLAUSE]
-THANK YOU, Mr. GRUBER.
- IT'S A GOOD THING Mrs. BIRD
LENT YOU HER UMBRELLA.
- SHE DID SAY IT MIGHT
COME IN USEFUL.
AH! LOOK, Mr. GRUBER.
I BROKE THE DRAGON.
- HA! HA! HA! THEY'RE CIRCUS
PERFORMERS, Mr. BROWN.
-EXCELLENT! WONDERFUL!
THAT'S JUST WHAT OUR HIGH
WIRE DRAGON ACT NEEDS:
A SPECTACULAR FINISH.
MY NAME IS XIA JIJU AND THIS
IS MY TRAVELLING CIRCUS.
- I AM Mr. GRUBER AND
THIS IS Mr. BROWN.
WE CAME TO WATCH THE SHOW AFTER
VISITING THE GREAT WALL.
NEITHER OF US HAVE EVER SEEN
A CHINESE CIRCUS BEFORE.
- SADLY, THAT IS THE SAME
WITH MANY PEOPLE.
AS THE WEEKS PASS,
THE CROWDS GROW SMALLER
AND OUR CIRCUS GROWS POORER.
BUT NOW A GIFTED
PERFORMER IS AMONG US!
-OH YES? UH... WHERE?
- THE BEAR!
- BEARS ARE GOOD AT
PERFORMING, Mrs. JIJU.
-PERHAPS I MAY ASK YOU TO COME
TOMORROW AND FIND MORE WAYS
TO IMPROVE OUR CIRCUS,
LIKE WITH THE DRAGON ACT.
- THEY DON'T SEEM VERY HAPPY
WITH OUR IMPROVEMENT.
-WHAT DO YOU SAY, Mr. BROWN?
OUR CIRCUS EXPERIENCE WOULD
BE A NICE ADDITION TO MY BOOK,
THE WORLD AND ITS WONDERS.
- I THINK I SHALL LIKE BEING
IN A CIRCUS, Mr. GRUBER.
I WASN'T SURE WHAT Mrs.
JIJU WAS WORRIED ABOUT.
THE PLATE SPINNER
DIDN'T NEED ANY HELP
AND I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY WAY
TO IMPROVE THE BALANCING ACT.
BUT I WANTED TO DO A
GOOD JOB FOR Mrs. JIJU,
SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A SEAT
AND WATCH THE SHOW.
-AH...
-WHOA!
-OH!
- I'M SORRY. I SEEM TO
HAVE TAKEN YOUR SEAT.
- I THINK XIA JIJU WANTED US TO
OBSERVE, Mr. BROWN, NOT PERFORM.
BUT THAT WAS A VERY GOOD TRICK.
- COMING UP WITH IDEAS WAS
PROVING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT,
EVEN IF Mrs. BIRD SAYS I GET
TOO MANY IDEAS FOR MY OWN GOOD.
HERE, LET ME HELP.
-Mr. BROWN!
I THINK YOU'D BETTER GET DOWN!
-I ONLY WISH I COULD.
-AH!
- COME BACK, Mr. BROWN,
COME BACK!
TURN AROUND, Mr. BROWN,
TURN AROUND!
[CHEERS]
-BRILLIANT!
-WHOA!
[LAUGHTER]
- OH DEAR. I DON'T THINK WE'RE
DOING VERY WELL, Mr. GRUBER.
-PERHAPS TOMORROW, Mr. BROWN.
NOW, I WONDER WHERE
WE SHOULD START TODAY...
- I HAVE THE FEELING
SOME PERFORMERS
WOULD LIKE US TO START AT
THE BEGINNING, Mr. GRUBER:
BEFORE WE'D EVEN LEFT LONDON.
- AH!!!
-OH! HE'S VERY GOOD.
- I'M SURE HE DOESN'T
WANT OUR HELP.
-OH!
[LAUGHTER]
- Mr. BROWN, I'M AFRAID
I NEED SOME ASSISTANCE.
- SO DO I, Mr. GRUBER.
- AH!
-OH, GOODNESS!
-OH!
-THIS IS MOST UNDIGNIFIED.
-SO IS THIS, Mr. GRUBER.
-AH!
- WE HAVEN'T COME UP WITH
A SINGLE IDEA, Mr. BROWN.
- Mrs. BIRD WOULD BE
VERY DISAPPOINTED.
- THERE YOU ARE!
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR
ALL YOUR WONDERFUL IDEAS.
- OUR IDEAS? [BOTH]: WHAT IDEAS?
-YOU SEE?
WE HAVEN'T HAD A CROWD
THIS BIG IN MONTHS!
NOW HURRY AND GET INTO COSTUME.
YOU'LL BE ON SOON.
[BOTH]: ON?
- I HOPE MY STINT IN THE
BARREL WENT UNNOTICED.
I DON'T THINK I SHOULD LIKE
TO REPEAT THAT PERFORMANCE.
-AND THE CYCLIST WASN'T VERY
PLEASED ABOUT HAVING
FUR IN HIS EYES.
-HURRY! FOLLOW ME.
-SHOULDN'T WE REHEARSE FIRST?
WHOA!
AH, THAT WAS INVIGORATING.
-WELL DONE, Mr. GRUBER!
WAAAH!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THEY SEEM TO LIKE OUR IDEAS,
Mr. GRUBER, BUT... WHAT WILL
WE DO FOR AN ENCORE?
- PERHAPS WE CAN
TRY GETTING DOWN.
OH!!!
YOU KNOW, Mr. BROWN, THEY
DO SAY YOU CAN'T TEACH
AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS,
BUT I THINK WE LEARNED A FEW
WHILE WE WERE IN CHINA.
-WE CERTAINLY DID, Mr. GRUBER,
BUT HOME IS WHERE
YOU HANG YOUR HAT.
-AND PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.
ARE YOU READY?
- READY, Mr. GRUBER.
- ALLEY HOOP!
-WHOA!
- DEAR AUNT LUCY. MY LATEST
ADVENTURE CAME ABOUT
ALL BECAUSE I'D MANAGED TO
UPSET MY NEIGHBOUR... AGAIN.
-YOU STARTED A FIRE
IN Mr. CURRY'S KITCHEN?
-IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
BUT BEING Mr. CURRY,
HE BLAMED IT ALL ON ME.
WHAT'S HAPPENING, Mr. GRUBER?
- THE POLICE HAVE
ARRESTED THAT MAN.
THEY MUST BELIEVE HE'S
DONE SOMETHING WRONG.
- LIKE ACCIDENTALLY STARTING
A FIRE IN SOMEONE'S KITCHEN?
-HA! HA! HA! I DON'T THINK
THE POLICE WILL ARREST
YOU WITHOUT PROOF,
Mr. BROWN. IN THIS COUNTRY,
YOU'RE CONSIDERED INNOCENT
UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY
BY A COURT OF LAW.
- I AM? GOOD. I SHALL HAVE
TO TELL Mr. CURRY THAT.
HMM... WHAT'S A COURT OF LAW,
Mr. GRUBER?
AND THAT'S HOW I ENDED UP
VISITING A LAW COURT.
-UH, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING YOUR
SUITCASE THROUGH THE SCANNER?
- I HOPE IT COMES OUT
THE OTHER SIDE.
- DON'T WORRY, SIR.
WE'VE NEVER LOST ONE YET.
- WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU FIND
SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS?
- IF NEED BE, WE BLOW
IT UP WITH THAT.
MAY I ASK YOU WHAT THE
SMALL SQUARE OBJECT IS?
-IT'S A MARMALADE SANDWICH.
YOU CAN SEE THE CHUNKS
ON THE X-RAY.
-WELL SIR, I'M AFRAID
WE DON'T ALLOW FOOD IN COURT.
I MUST ASK YOU TO PUT IT
IN THIS BAG WHILE YOU'RE
ON THE PREMISES.
-AN IMPORTANT THING, Mr. BROWN,
IS THAT THE COURTS ARE ALWAYS
OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.
FOR EXAMPLE...
I... DON'T... BELIEVE IT!
- Mr. BROWN?
- YES, THAT'S ME.
- WELL, COME ALONG THEN.
THE COURT'S READY FOR YOU.
- I DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK
THE "NO FOOD IN COURT" POLICY.
-THERE WE GO.
READY TO SEE A LITTLE JUSTICE
AT WORK, Mr. BROWN?
Mr. BROWN?
-LET US BEGIN.
GOOD MORNING. I'M CLOUDSWORTHY,
THE PROSECUTING COUNSEL.
PLEASE TAKE THE STAND.
-THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I WASN'T SURE WHY
Mr. CLOUDSWORTHY WANTED
ME TO STAND IN A BOX,
BUT IT DID HAVE THE
BEST VIEW IN THE ROOM.
-Mr. BROWN. DO YOU SWEAR TO...
- OH NO! I NEVER SWEAR.
IT'S RUDE.
- NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
[LAUGHTER]
DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH,
THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING
BUT THE TRUTH?
- OF COURSE! AUNT LUCY TAUGHT
ME NEVER TO TELL LIES.
[LAUGHTER]
- SILENCE! WHO IS THIS AUNT LUCY?
AND WHY ISN'T SHE
LISTED AS A WITNESS?
- UH... I CAN'T FIND ANY
MENTION OF HER, MILORD.
-SO YOU DON'T PLAN TO CALL HER?
-I DON'T THINK SHE'D HEAR
YOU EVEN IF YOU DID.
AUNT LUCY'S IN PERU.
- PERU?
- UH, WITH RESPECT, MILORD,
BUT I DON'T THINK AUNT
LUCY IS VERY IMPORTANT.
- NOT IMPORTANT?
AUNT LUCY IS VERY IMPORTANT.
YOU SHOULD ASK Mrs. BIRD.
- Mrs. BIRD?
- REALLY, Mr. CLOUDSWORTHY!
YOU HAVE TO DO A BETTER JOB
KEEPING TRACK OF YOUR WITNESSES.
CALL Mrs. BIRD.
-CALLING Mrs. BIRD!
-I DON'T THINK Mrs. BIRD
WILL HEAR YOU EITHER.
SHE'S OUT SHOPPING.
-Mrs. BIRD'S OUT SHOPPING?
REALLY, THIS IS
BECOMING INTOLERABLE.
[SCANDALIZED MURMUR]
ENOUGH!
I'LL DEAL WITH THE MISSING
WITNESSES LATER.
BUT RIGHT NOW, PERHAPS Mr.
CLOUDSWORTHY CAN PRESENT
WHAT'S LEFT OF HIS CASE.
-YES, MILORD. UH...
"IN THE CASE AGAINST Mr. BROWN
AND HIS NEIGHBOUR Mr. MURRAY..."
- CURRY.
- MURRAY. IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE.
- I'M SURE IT DOES, BUT MY
NEIGHBOUR'S NAME IS Mr. CURRY.
[SCANDALIZED MURMUR]
[SNIFFING AND BARKING]
-HOLD IT. CAREFUL NOW. SIT. SIT!
SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE ON
BENCH OUTSIDE COURT 3.
REQUEST IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE.
[BARKING] NOT ME, YOU TWIT!
- ALL IN ALL, I WAS VERY
IMPRESSED AT HOW FAST
THE COURTS HAD TAKEN CHARGE
OF Mr. CURRY'S KITCHEN CASE.
AND THEN, HE ACCUSED
ME OF SETTING FIRE TO HIS
FEATHER DUSTER DELIBERATELY,
BUT IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT.
- A FEATHER DUSTER? UPON MY SOUL,
WHAT IS THIS COURT COMING TO?
- I'M SURE THERE'S A REASONABLE
EXPLANATION FOR Mr. MURRAY...
I MEAN, Mr. CURRY'S OUTRAGEOUS
BEHAVIOUR, MILORD.
[ALARM]
-THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
PLEASE EVACUATE THE PREMISES.
REMAIN CALM.
-Mr. BROWN?
-YES, I'M Mr. BROWN.
-I JUST SAW A Mr. BROWN
IN COURT FOR A CASE
AGAINST HIS NEIGHBOUR.
-OH NO! THE Mr. BROWN
I'M LOOKING FOR WASN'T
HERE TO GO TO COURT.
YOU MUST BE TALKING ABOUT
ANOTHER Mr. BROWN.
- Mr. GRUBER.
- Mr. BROWN.
-YES?
I'M Mr. BROWN AND I'M HERE FOR
A CASE AGAINST MY NEIGHBOUR,
Mr. MURRAY.
- MURRAY HERE. WHO'S CALLING?
[BOTH]: YOU!!!
-IF YOU HADN'T BUILT THAT FENCE
AND CUT OFF MY ACCESS
TO THE RIVER,
NONE OF THIS WOULD
HAVE HAPPENED!
- WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE
HAD TO BUILD THAT FENCE
IF YOUR DOG HAD STOPPED
MISBEHAVING IN MY GARDEN!
-YOU COULD LOOSEN A SLAT
IN THE FENCE. THAT'S WHAT
Mr. CURRY AND I DID.
AND NOW WE CAN BOTH
GET THROUGH EASILY.
- HEY! THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
- COULD WORK.
- WELL, WHATEVER THE CONFUSION,
I'M GLAD IT'S ALL CLEARED UP.
NOW WE JUST HAVE THAT
BOMB TO WORRY ABOUT.
- OW! THAT WAS MY MARMALADE
SANDWICH YOU'VE JUST BLOWN UP.
-YOUR MARMALADE SANDWICH?
- I LEFT IT OUTSIDE
THE COURTROOM.
- HMM... HMM... I DON'T
WONDER YOU'RE UPSET.
THIS IS VERY GOOD MARMALADE.
- IT'S SOME OF Mrs.
BIRD'S SPECIAL.
-Mrs. BIRD? ISN'T SHE
THE WITNESS WHO'S OUT
DOING HER SHOPPING?
THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS
OFFENCE, YOU KNOW.
- Mr. GRUBER SAYS THAT IN
AN ENGLISH COURT OF LAW,
YOU'RE INNOCENT UNTIL
YOU'RE PROVEN GUILTY.
-TRUE, Mr. BROWN, VERY TRUE.