The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 14 - Mail Order Brides - full transcript
[SNORING]
Hey!
Morning, sunshine.
Why can't you let
a buddy get some sleep?
Not if you want to catch
the Swill brothers.
They still have
half a day's ride on us.
Yeah, I'll bet
they sleepin' in.
[HORSES GALLOPING]
Uh, Bowler.
You really ought to think
about getting up.
I'm thinking
about it.
No, I mean, Bowler,
you really ought
to think about it!
Whoa!
[SCREAMING]
Aah!
What the hell?
It's gonna be
one of those days.
[SCREAMING]
Hyah! Hyah!
Hyah!
Aah!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Ho!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Easy.
[SCREAMING]
It's alright.
It's Okay.
Ow!
Hey, hey! We're just
trying to help.
You want to help us?
Then find the three men
who robbed us
and left us for dead.
Three men?
One of 'em kinda
big and stupid,
and one a little
chuckle-headed
moron?
Yeah, and their leader was
a long-haired psychopath.
The Swill brothers,
three of the most despicable
slime-crawling gutter rats
that ever cursed
God's green earth.
You know these men?
Yeah, we got
a long history...
which is about
to get cut short.
Ooh.
Here's your bed roll.
You don't
mind me asking,
uh, what happened
to your hair?
They cut it off.
It was so long
and beautiful.
I'd like to give
the Swills a haircut
right down
to their necks.
It's just hair.
It'll grow back.
Just get us on the road
to Preacher's Head
and everything
will be fine.
Preacher's Head?
Heh. Ain't no road
to that mud hole.
I told you we should've
hired a guide, Meg.
I don't need a guide,
Caitlin, I can handle it.
What's
in Preacher's Head?
That's none
of your business.
Our husbands
are there.
And the first thing
they're gonna do
when we get there
is round up
those desperadoes.
Well, maybe
the second thing.
Well, that's fine,
but you got to
get there first.
We'll lead you there.
We don't need
any help.
Ma'am, if we leave you here
with the Swills out there,
we might as well
be leaving you for dead.
Oh, my God.
What?
I've heard
that line before.
This is you.
You're Brisco County, Jr.
Yeah.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
And that's Comet,
the wonder horse.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
Where'd
you get this?
They're for sale
all over back East.
This doesn't look
anything like me.
Let me see that.
Am I in here?
Who are you?
Lord Bowler,
manhunter.
Brisco's
faithful companion.
If anything,
he's my companion.
Oh, Meg,
it's a miracle.
We couldn't be
in better hands.
I'll believe that when
we get to Preacher's Head.
Hey, Jim.
What's the matter, Will?
Don't you like
the food here
in Preacher's Head?
Bill does.
He ain't finished.
Now get out of here.
I'm not sure about
this bull rustling idea.
You got a problem
with the shots
I'm calling?
You've been calling them
ever since we busted
out of jail,
and we ain't
no better off.
You got your picture
on a wanted poster,
didn't you?
Don't look
nothing like him.
Is that my fault,
Phil?
I never seen
a bunch of whiners
like you two.
Let me see that
newspaper article again.
Why?
You can't read.
I can look
at the picture.
That's one big sucker.
I don't think small,
Phil.
What the hell
we gonna do
with some stupid
ole fancy bull anyway?
Sell it, you idiot.
It says here
it's worth $1 million.
You know
what that means?
Heh Heh.
We'll be set for life.
Who's gonna
buy it?
Heh. Let's think
about that.
Probably not
a sheep farmer,
and I wouldn't
think a barber
would have much use
for a bull.
Cattle rancher.
We could sell it
to a cattle rancher.
And you wonder why
I'm the leader
of this gang.
Mayor Dicks.
Socrates Poole,
I presume.
Welcome to Madrid,
California, Sir.
Thank you.
How was your trip?
Fine.
Um, come here, son.
I need your opinion.
Taste.
No, I--
really, I'd rather not.
It's barbecue, son.
Now, come on.
Needs a little
red pepper, huh?
A little cayenne,
perhaps?
No, it's fine.
Mayor Dicks,
I'm a little concerned--
no, I'm very concerned.
Tomorrow afternoon,
a very special gift
arrives
from your sister city
of Madrid, Spain.
Yep.
The royal bull--
El Quinto Magnifico.
It's all we've been talking
about here for months.
Well, as the governor's
advance representative,
I have to admit
to some...distress.
The pen we agreed
would be built
for the bull
is nowhere near
completion.
Oh, don't worry
about it.
Ed'll get her
slapped together
in no time.
His nickname around
these parts is "lightning."
Now try it.
Uh, no, we need to--
Mmm. better.
Now look,
this is not a pen
we just want
slapped together.
This is to be the home
of El Magnifico
Quinto,
the King of Spain's
most prized bull.
If anything goes wrong,
we could be facing
a major international
incident.
Mr. Poole,
now we may do things
a little slower
here in Madrid,
but we get 'em done,
and we
get 'em done right.
For instance, take a look
at this spit here
that Ed built.
Now isn't this
workmanship?
Uh, yeah,
it's very nice.
Now, we know we're dealing
with top grade beef here.
That's why we built
the stand so sturdy.
We're going to cook
this sucker up good.
No, you don't...
don't...
really believe
you're going to eat
the royal bull?
Well, you can call us wacky,
but that's what we do
with longhorns in these parts.
This bull is worth
$1 million.
It's going to be
one tender slab o' toro.
Save you a rib.
Mayor Dicks!
The royal bull
is not to be eaten.
It is a gift of enormous
political import!
Now, I want that pen
built immediately.
I want this spit
disassembled,
and I want your
special barbecue sauce
as far from Madrid
as the fastest horse
can carry it!
Do you understand me?
No barbecue?
No barbecue!
Ooh, it's just right!
Let's just
keep it around
in case
you change your mind.
Welcome to
Preacher's Head.
Meg O'Brien,
Sally Dane,
Caitlin Ward.
You're late.
You're
costing me money.
Whoa.
What, you're
mail order brides?
Come on, Brisco.
We got supplies to buy.
Well, I guess that's it.
Have a good life.
You can count on it.
Where are our husbands?
Where are
your dowries?
We had a little trouble
on the trail.
Congrats.
You're two days late.
You got no dowries.
Men of these parts don't
want women like you.
We'll get
our dowries back.
You better, 'cause
you're nothing
without them.
What do we do
until then?
Find yourself
a poor house.
I got no use
for you.
How does that happen?
What?
Women like that--
fine women.
Some kind
of love shortage
in the east?
Well, maybe love
has nothing to do
with it.
Well, I just
don't get it.
For some women,
it's an opportunity.
To do what?
Ship themselves
cross-country
to marry some men that
they don't even know?
No, for some woman,
it's their only chance
to escape lives
that are much worse.
Yeah, well,
it ain't right.
You meet a woman,
you fall in love,
you ask her
to marry you.
You don't pick her
out of some catalog
like a pair of boots.
What, you recognize
those two?
No, but I've seen
that wagon behind 'em.
What'll it be?
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Good choice.
Psst.
Nobody move.
It's County.
[GUNSHOTS]
Aah!
Aah!
Hold it!
It's the sheriff!
County's a goner.
Come on.
Let's go!
Aah!
Oh!
Nice town.
Uh-oh.
Hit the sheriff.
BRISCO: Yeah, but
I didn't hit the deputy.
You just had to
hit the sheriff,
didn't you?
You hit him, too.You hit him first.
You always have to do
what I do?
Well, I'm your
faithful companion,
remember?
[KEYS JINGLE]
5 minutes.
Mr. County,
Mr. Bowler,
we have a proposition
to make.
We want to hire you.
We don't do weddings.
Nuptials are pending.
In the meantime,
we'll bail you out
if you agree
to work for us,
catch the Swills,
and get our dowries back.
We're already
after the Swills.
Oh, I forgot
one thing.
You have to let us
come with you.
We want to be there
when the Swills get caught.
No way.
Where'd you get
the bail money?
We sold the wagon
and one of the horses.
Brisco,
you ain't considering--
I'm considering
getting out of here.
Well,
I don't like it.
We don't have
a choice.
That's why
I don't like it.
Is it a deal or not?
Gentlemen.
Senor Mendosa.
Welcome to
Madrid, California.
Socrates Poole,
governor's liaison.
Estaban Cortez Mendosa,
royal representative
to the
King of Spain.
How was your trip?
Disgusting.
This is
a country of dust,
ill manners,
and strange smells.
So, this is
the sister city
of my
beloved Madrid.
I assure you,
what we lack
in old world charm
we more than
make up for
in frontier spirit.
Shall we?
Very well.
I hope
the accommodations
for the royal gift
are superior to those
that I have
so far observed.
Oh, not to worry.
If there's
one thing we know
here in the West,
it's how to handle bulls.
Senor Poole,
a correction.
This is
no mere bull.
We speak of
El Magnifico Quinto,
the finest,
proudest,
fiercest of all
the royal toro.
The king has only
once before
given such a bull
as a gift
of friendship
to another country.
We are deeply honored.
You should be
deeply worried.
You see,
the last bull
died in transit.
Poor handling,
bad food.
The king's rage
was so great that--
well, the details
are rather gruesome.
Suffice it to say that
what was once
a proud country
is now
a colony of Spain.
I see.
Well...
here it is.
Here what is, senor?
The pen where the bull
will be displayed.
No, no, no, no.
This is no good.
You don't really expect
El Magnifico
to be kept
in a filthy pen!
Well, I--
This is an outrage!
El Magnifico is part...
of my king.
Would you
have my king
sleep on dirt,
to stare out
at the world
through wooden thlath?
Thlath?
Mm-hmm.
Thlath.
Thlath!
Oh, slats.
Oh, um, well,
if this is not
satisfactory,
Senor Mendosa,
I'm certain
we can do better.
I hope tho.
That ith,
if you don't want
dear Mother
knocking
on your back door.
[THUNDER]
Bowler, over there.
Ain't got to
tell me twice.
What are you doing?
We're stopping
for the night.
No, you can't.
We have to go on.
There's nothing
to go on.
The rain's
taking care of that.
But I thought you were
the best trackers
money could buy.
Can't do much
about the weather.
But it's not even
raining anymore.
We'll pick it up
in the morning.
Yeah, if it ain't
raining again.
Mr. County, please.
I'm responsible for them.
I got them into this.
If we don't get
our dowries back,
everything I promised them
will be--
You'll get
your dowries back.
Just not tonight.
We made a deal,
Mr. County.
You work for me.
We go on.
You want
to keep riding?
Fine.
Keep riding.
I'm going
to go in there,
make a nice
warm fire, dry off,
and get myself
something to eat.
Come on, Comet.
Some guide you are,
getting afraid of
a little bit of rain.
Okay, then.
Forget you.
Forget you!
Come on, girls.
Let's go.
Come on!
Hyah! Tsk. Tsk.
They sure are
headstrong.
Stupid.
Determined.
Stubborn.
Women.
Yeah, women.
They out there
all alone...
in the dark...
in the rain.
Aw, they can come back
to this nice cozy mine
any time they want.
Well, they could be lost.
Well, they didn't
have to leave.
Since when did you
go soft on me?
Well, the Swills
could be out there.
Oh, Bowler.
Well, who knows?
They might've
doubled back.
They know
we're tracking them.
They could be waiting,
watching for anything
that looks like
easy pickings.
The girls
are out there
in the rain...
lost...
alone.
Just a thought.
Want to know
what really irks me?
Huh?
She's got my hat.
We're lost.
We are not lost.
I think
we should go back.
You've been saying
that ever since
we left Denver.
Well, at least
in Denver,
we had a roof
over our heads.
Do you want to go
back to that life?
No.
Well, do you?
Look, Cait, I'll
get us out of here,
I promise,
come hell
or high water.
Well,
we got us the water.
I'm joking.
We still believe
in you, Meg.
I just think that
we should've listened
to Mr. County.
OK, maybe
you're right,
but we're here.
So let's just make
the best of it, OK?
Wait a minute.
I think there's
somebody out there.
Here, hold him.
I'll be right back.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Aah!
Uhh.
Oh, what
do you want?
I got it, thanks.
You scared
the hell out of me!
Well, good.
Maybe you'll listen
to me from now on.
Mr. County,
I'm sorry.
I'm just not used to men
who look out for anything
other than themselves.
Come on.
I'll buy you
a hot chocolate.
Looks like Ma
fixed up the place.
Go check the barn
for the cattle wagon, huh?
Don't you want to
say hello to Ma first?
The rain's already
put us a day
behind schedule.
We don't need her
slowing us down.
Boys!
Hey, Ma.
What'd you bring me?
Ma...
Ma, I got you
some girlie stuff, Ma.
What the hell
do I want
with girlie junk?
What's this?
Fire shooting gun.
Took it off a couple
Army fellows.
Whoa!Be careful, Ma!
Look what happened
to Phil.
I like it!
Now, who's got a hug
for their ma?
That rash
clear up yet, Ma?
Get down here.
Give me a hug.
We got work
to do, Ma.
We just stopped by
to pick up the cattle wagon.
You boys going back
to cattle rustling?
Brisco County, Jr.'s
on our tail.
Don't ever say that name
where I can hear it.
Sorry, Ma.
I thought
it'd be a good idea
if we disappeared
for a while
Like leave the country.
Well, Will's got
a plan to make us
all rich, Ma.
That's the stupidest
idea I ever heard.
We've stolen
plenty of cows before.
What's so stupid
about stealing one
that's worth
a million dollars?
How you going to prove
to anybody he's worth
all you say it is?
We'll give them
our word.
You're swills.
Your word ain't
worth snot.
She got a point.
You got
a better idea?
Hell, yes, I do.
You steal that bull,
hold it for ransom.
Whoa.
If it's as important as
that newspaper says it is,
the Mexicans'll pay an arm
and a leg to get it back.
They ain't Mexicans, Ma.
They're Spanish.
Would you shut up?
Don't you snap at Phil.
I'm Bill, Ma.
Of course you are, honey.
It's just that
you and Phil
are starting to look
so much alike.
Fine. So we
steal the bull,
and we ransom it.
And that's it?
No "Thank you, Ma.
Glad we stopped.
Appreciate your help"?
Ma.
I kind of need
you to support me here.
I'm trying to be
a gang leader.
Of course.
Boys, Will here
ain't your
brother Gil,
but he's
all we got.
Do what he says
or I'll break
your legs.
Yes, Ma.Yes, Ma.
Thanks, Ma.
Now, boys,
you better pack up
and get out of here.
So long, Ma.
Bye, Ma.
Bye.
If County
comes by,
I'll take
care of him.
"When a storm washed away
"darling Danny McDonnel's
tracks down in Bolivia,
"Brisco and Bowler
asked the locals
"if they'd seen the bandit
and then got right back
on his trail."
Darling
Danny McDonnel?
Uh-huh.
When was we
in Bolivia?
We weren't.
You here for
some moonshine?
Uh, Ma'am?
Moonshine.
Grog. A kick
in the head.
Uh, Ma'am,
We're tracking
three men.
We thought
they might've
passed this way.
You the law?
He's Brisco County, Jr.,
and he's Lord Bowler.
Brisco County, Jr.
Well, you're famous
around here.
Brisco.
Wait here.
It's the Swill's
wagon alright.
Yeah, but no Swills.
That's 'cause
they changed it
for a heavier wagon.
Maybe a cattle wagon.
Looks like they're
headed for Madrid.
Huh?
California.
Oh.
[GUN COCKS]
You killed
my oldest boy...
and now you're
going to pay for it.
Gil was
my favorite,
County.
Your son was
a cold-blooded killer.
Why'd you have
to blow him up?
Couldn't you
have just maimed him
or something?
He was about to kill
a lot of innocent people.
I had no choice.
Neither do I.
Okay, let's do it.
Ready...
aim...
Ready...
aim...
and...
Wait a minute!
Don't we even get
a last request?
You don't get
nothin'.
Oh, come on.
All I want is a drink...
from her.
Me?
You.
Her?
Her.
Her?
Her.
MAN: Who?
SECOND MAN: Her.Her?
CROWD: Her.
Well, what are you
waiting for?
Get him a drink.
You want to let me
in on this?
Uh, Bowler, uh, bet you'd
like a smoke, wouldn't you?
No, I wouldn't.
You know
I don't smoke.
It's never too late
to start.
Uh, how about a smoke
for my friend here?
Uncle Dick.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Come on, Bowler.
Open up!
[GAGS]
Now let's get on
with this!
Ready...
aim...
Now, Bowler!
Fire!
Thanks, Meg.
Now cut the ropes!
Okay.
Okay, good.
Let's go, go, go!Go, go, go!
Get 'em!
MAN: They're
gettin' away.
Senor Mendosa,
look at this.
Every inch of
this building
is scrubbed,
white-washed,
and sanitized.
The hay is handpicked,
hung to dry,
is free of any dirt.
I would expect as much.
[BULL GRUNTS]
Well...
As royal representative
for his majesty,
I accept this stable
as satisfactory.
Let us celebrate
with some sangria.
So, Senor Mendosa,
what part of Castille
are you from?
How did you know
I am Castillian?
The way you
pronounce your s'es.
Thorry?
The way you say
the letter "s."
I don't understand.
You say there
is something wrong
with the way
I say my s'es?
Uh, no, not at all.
Uh, uh, I'm...
let's get to that
th-sangria.
Thertainly.
Quit complaining,
will you?
I barely
touched you.
He's over there
talking to his horse.
He always does.
Better get try
and some shuteye.
We got a lot of tracking
to do tomorrow.
What about Mr. County?
He's got first watch.
He doesn't sleep anyway.
He has bullet fragments
in his brain
from when the Swills
ambushed him.
Suffers
terrible headaches.
It's in the book,
Mr. Bowler.
First of all,
they shot him in the back,
not the brain.
The only headache he's got
is being saddled up
with you three
while we try to track
the Swills.
Now go to sleep.
Can I finish
the chapter first?
Oh, thank you.
You really messed things
up for me, you know that?
How's that?
I always had
this thing about men--
that one was pretty much
the same as the next.
I didn't think it mattered
who I married
as long as they put
a roof over my head
and food on the table.
That's pretty cynical
for a woman
of the nineties,
isn't it?
I didn't think so...
till I met you.
Well, I'm not all
I'm cracked up to be
in those dime novels,
you know.
Maybe,
but you're a decent man.
You're good,
and you're brave.
You're fair.
You're handsome, too.
Well, in this light,
anybody would look good.
Hey, hey, hey.
I can't go through
with this, Mr. County.
I can't marry a man
I've never even met.
I thought I could.
I've been trying
to convince myself
for the last
thousand miles--
Then don't.
But I have to.
I don't have a choice.
You can go always go
back to Denver.
What, to life
in a sweatshop?
I can't go back
to that.
Was it that bad?
It was hard, Mr. County.
You work your fingers
to the bone
from sunup till sundown
for a dollar a day.
No. I can't go
back to that.
So what do I do?
Well, you know, Meg,
it's not like you
only have two choices.
The West is
a pretty big place.
It's full of
opportunities.
And a woman like you,
I figured
you can do pretty much
anything you wanted.
Do you really
believe that?
Wouldn't have said it
if I didn't.
Thank you.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Okay. You two know
what to do.
No problem.
Like taking candy
from a baby.
Come.
Excuse me, gents.
Can I borrow
a match?
Phil, I believe
these gentlemen
are not allowed
to address
the public
while on duty.
Oh, well, that makes
things a lot easier.
Brisco! Bowler!
ALL: What are you
doing here?
Uh, Meg, Caitlin, Sally,
this is Socrates Poole.
I'll explain them later.
Right now,
we need to find a bull.
What are you
talking about?
The Swills are after
some kind of
million dollar bull.
No. They can't be.
What is it, Soc?
The bull. That's the
whole reason I'm here.
Considering
the political climate
between our country
and Spain,
if anything should
happen to El Magnifico,
we could be facing
a full-scale war.
Soc, you better take us
to where this bull is fast.
Right around here.
How we going to get it
from in here
to our wagon outside?
Do you remember
that bullfight
we went to in Mexico?
You wave a red blanket
at these animals,
and they'll follow you
anywhere.
Where the hell are we going
to get a red blanket?
I don't know, Bill,
but it won't be standing
around here.
Now get out there
and find me one!
That's definitely
the same kind of wagon
that left
the Swill's barn.
Then they're inside.
Let go get them.
Wait a minute.
Bowler, let's get
a closer look
before we
do anything.
I'm right with you.
Now don't move!
Somebody's going
to be coming in here
pretty soon.
We better move.
Check the street.
See what's going on.
What are you doing?It's County!
Aah!
No. No. No.
County!
Give it up or
the girl gets it.
Bill, get her in here.
Come on!
If they hurt her,
Brisco,
I'll kill them.
Alright. now, let's not
get the Swills panicked.
Let's keep everything
nice and calm.
Les voy a cocear
si lastiman
El Magnifico!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
Well, I think
nice and calm
just went
out the window.
I heard gunfire.
Who are you people?
You're in
good hands,
Senor Mendosa.
These men are
bounty hunters
here to protect
El Magnifico.
Is El Magnificosafe?
County, I got
the girl and the bull!
They're both dead unless
I get what I want.
Dios mio!
What do you want, Will?
One million in cold cash.
Uh...
You want to give me
a minute on that one?
Forget it! You get
exactly 60 seconds.
What are you doing?
Taking my gun off,
Putting my hands up,
And I'm going in there
to negotiate.
Brisco, They'll kill you
before they negotiate.
Well, it's a chance
I'm going to have to take.
Now this is a man
who understands
the importance of
El Magnifico.
Who is El Magnifico?
Alright, Will,
let's talk!
What is it, County?
It's me. I'm unarmed.
I want to come in.
Now a million dollars,
uh, that's a lot of
money.
We should talk
this out, Will.
Do some negotiating.
There's nothing
to negotiate.
Will, it's going
to take us days
to get that
much money together.
Let me in there,
and we'll work
something out
that'll make you
just as happy.
Come on!
Come on.
MEG:
Be careful, Brisco.
Well, Brisco County, Jr.,
seems we've thrown
a lot of lead your way,
and you just
won't go away.
He will now.
You're not dumb enough
to shoot me now,
are you, Bill?
I'm Phil. He's Bill.
And I just might be
dumber than you think.
You got an army outside
surrounding this barn.
You shoot me,
you might as well
shoot yourself.
Now, come on, Will,
are we going to
negotiate or not?
Put the gun away, Phil.
We don't need
no negotiation.
I said put the gun away!
[PISTOL CLICKS]
[SNORTS]
OK, County,
negotiate.
I'll make this simple.
I think maybe
we can round up, uh,
10-15,000.
That's close to
a million, ain't it?
Yeah, pretty close.
And then what?
Then I get Sally
and the bull.
Then you can
have your money.
[LAUGHS]
Nice try.
W-We'll take 20,000,
and let the bull
and the girl go
after we get
out of town.
Boy, Phil, I
just don't know
if they're going
to go for that.
[LAUGHS]
How'd they like it
if we made that bull
into a--
a barbecue treat, huh?
[SNORTS]
Aah! Whoa!
Aah!
Get out!
Whoa!
There it goes!
Well, what are you
waiting for?
Go get the bull!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
Let them get the bull.
We'll get the Swills.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
Where'd they go, Soc?
Everywhere.
Down that way,
around the corner,
who knows?
Take care of her,
Socrates. I'll be back.
[BULL LOWS]
If you think I'm
missing all the fun,
forget it.
[STAMMERS]
[HORSE NEIGHS]
You wouldn't be
trying to take my horse,
would you, Bill?
Uhh!
Aah!
Uhh!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Never were too good
with your head, Bill.
Oh, get away!
Get away! Stay back!
[INDISTINCT YELLING]
[POTTERY BREAKING]
[INDISTINCT YELLING]
[POTTERY BREAKING]
[BULL LOWING]
Whoa!
Oh! Oh!
[GROANING]
Uhh!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[BULL LOWS]
[BULL ROARS]
Meg, open the gate!
Hyah! Hyah!
[BULL LOWS]
I'd say
the party's over.
Uhh!
People of Madrid,
California,
I am touched
by your welcome
and eager to present to you
El Magnifico Quinto,
the most prized
of all royal bulls--
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
But, first,
my appreciation
to those who have made
this gift possible.
Sally Dane...
for your courageousness
in infiltrating
the camp of the Swills,
I present you with
this Medal of Valor.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Caitlin Ward,
for your quick thinking
in helping
to stop the theft
of El Magnifico,
I award you
the Cross of Iron.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
And last but not least,
Megan O'Brien,
for having
the heart of a lion
in capturing
the mighty beast,
I award you
the Medal of Honor.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Brisco County, Jr.,
Lord Bowler,
Socrates Poole,
I hear you did good, too.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
And now let
the festivities begin!
[CHEERING]
Not a bad turn of events
for 3 girls
down on their luck.
So I, uh...
I take it you
won't be getting
married soon.
No way. I think we've
all had our eyes opened
to some other
possibilities.
Forget it.
He's never getting married.
That's what it said in
The Adventures of Brisco
in Paradise.
Sally, don't believe
everything you read.
Girls, come on.
The King wants
to dance with us.
[LAUGHS]
And now we're dancing
with kings.
I'll never forget about you,
Brisco County, Jr.
[IMITATES MEG]
I'll never forget about
you, Brisco County, Jr.
Oh, brother.
What about me?
Uh...I won't forget you,
Mr. Bowler.
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS]
Come on, I'll buy you
a sangria.
Hey!
Morning, sunshine.
Why can't you let
a buddy get some sleep?
Not if you want to catch
the Swill brothers.
They still have
half a day's ride on us.
Yeah, I'll bet
they sleepin' in.
[HORSES GALLOPING]
Uh, Bowler.
You really ought to think
about getting up.
I'm thinking
about it.
No, I mean, Bowler,
you really ought
to think about it!
Whoa!
[SCREAMING]
Aah!
What the hell?
It's gonna be
one of those days.
[SCREAMING]
Hyah! Hyah!
Hyah!
Aah!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Ho!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Easy.
[SCREAMING]
It's alright.
It's Okay.
Ow!
Hey, hey! We're just
trying to help.
You want to help us?
Then find the three men
who robbed us
and left us for dead.
Three men?
One of 'em kinda
big and stupid,
and one a little
chuckle-headed
moron?
Yeah, and their leader was
a long-haired psychopath.
The Swill brothers,
three of the most despicable
slime-crawling gutter rats
that ever cursed
God's green earth.
You know these men?
Yeah, we got
a long history...
which is about
to get cut short.
Ooh.
Here's your bed roll.
You don't
mind me asking,
uh, what happened
to your hair?
They cut it off.
It was so long
and beautiful.
I'd like to give
the Swills a haircut
right down
to their necks.
It's just hair.
It'll grow back.
Just get us on the road
to Preacher's Head
and everything
will be fine.
Preacher's Head?
Heh. Ain't no road
to that mud hole.
I told you we should've
hired a guide, Meg.
I don't need a guide,
Caitlin, I can handle it.
What's
in Preacher's Head?
That's none
of your business.
Our husbands
are there.
And the first thing
they're gonna do
when we get there
is round up
those desperadoes.
Well, maybe
the second thing.
Well, that's fine,
but you got to
get there first.
We'll lead you there.
We don't need
any help.
Ma'am, if we leave you here
with the Swills out there,
we might as well
be leaving you for dead.
Oh, my God.
What?
I've heard
that line before.
This is you.
You're Brisco County, Jr.
Yeah.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
And that's Comet,
the wonder horse.
[HORSE WHINNIES]
Where'd
you get this?
They're for sale
all over back East.
This doesn't look
anything like me.
Let me see that.
Am I in here?
Who are you?
Lord Bowler,
manhunter.
Brisco's
faithful companion.
If anything,
he's my companion.
Oh, Meg,
it's a miracle.
We couldn't be
in better hands.
I'll believe that when
we get to Preacher's Head.
Hey, Jim.
What's the matter, Will?
Don't you like
the food here
in Preacher's Head?
Bill does.
He ain't finished.
Now get out of here.
I'm not sure about
this bull rustling idea.
You got a problem
with the shots
I'm calling?
You've been calling them
ever since we busted
out of jail,
and we ain't
no better off.
You got your picture
on a wanted poster,
didn't you?
Don't look
nothing like him.
Is that my fault,
Phil?
I never seen
a bunch of whiners
like you two.
Let me see that
newspaper article again.
Why?
You can't read.
I can look
at the picture.
That's one big sucker.
I don't think small,
Phil.
What the hell
we gonna do
with some stupid
ole fancy bull anyway?
Sell it, you idiot.
It says here
it's worth $1 million.
You know
what that means?
Heh Heh.
We'll be set for life.
Who's gonna
buy it?
Heh. Let's think
about that.
Probably not
a sheep farmer,
and I wouldn't
think a barber
would have much use
for a bull.
Cattle rancher.
We could sell it
to a cattle rancher.
And you wonder why
I'm the leader
of this gang.
Mayor Dicks.
Socrates Poole,
I presume.
Welcome to Madrid,
California, Sir.
Thank you.
How was your trip?
Fine.
Um, come here, son.
I need your opinion.
Taste.
No, I--
really, I'd rather not.
It's barbecue, son.
Now, come on.
Needs a little
red pepper, huh?
A little cayenne,
perhaps?
No, it's fine.
Mayor Dicks,
I'm a little concerned--
no, I'm very concerned.
Tomorrow afternoon,
a very special gift
arrives
from your sister city
of Madrid, Spain.
Yep.
The royal bull--
El Quinto Magnifico.
It's all we've been talking
about here for months.
Well, as the governor's
advance representative,
I have to admit
to some...distress.
The pen we agreed
would be built
for the bull
is nowhere near
completion.
Oh, don't worry
about it.
Ed'll get her
slapped together
in no time.
His nickname around
these parts is "lightning."
Now try it.
Uh, no, we need to--
Mmm. better.
Now look,
this is not a pen
we just want
slapped together.
This is to be the home
of El Magnifico
Quinto,
the King of Spain's
most prized bull.
If anything goes wrong,
we could be facing
a major international
incident.
Mr. Poole,
now we may do things
a little slower
here in Madrid,
but we get 'em done,
and we
get 'em done right.
For instance, take a look
at this spit here
that Ed built.
Now isn't this
workmanship?
Uh, yeah,
it's very nice.
Now, we know we're dealing
with top grade beef here.
That's why we built
the stand so sturdy.
We're going to cook
this sucker up good.
No, you don't...
don't...
really believe
you're going to eat
the royal bull?
Well, you can call us wacky,
but that's what we do
with longhorns in these parts.
This bull is worth
$1 million.
It's going to be
one tender slab o' toro.
Save you a rib.
Mayor Dicks!
The royal bull
is not to be eaten.
It is a gift of enormous
political import!
Now, I want that pen
built immediately.
I want this spit
disassembled,
and I want your
special barbecue sauce
as far from Madrid
as the fastest horse
can carry it!
Do you understand me?
No barbecue?
No barbecue!
Ooh, it's just right!
Let's just
keep it around
in case
you change your mind.
Welcome to
Preacher's Head.
Meg O'Brien,
Sally Dane,
Caitlin Ward.
You're late.
You're
costing me money.
Whoa.
What, you're
mail order brides?
Come on, Brisco.
We got supplies to buy.
Well, I guess that's it.
Have a good life.
You can count on it.
Where are our husbands?
Where are
your dowries?
We had a little trouble
on the trail.
Congrats.
You're two days late.
You got no dowries.
Men of these parts don't
want women like you.
We'll get
our dowries back.
You better, 'cause
you're nothing
without them.
What do we do
until then?
Find yourself
a poor house.
I got no use
for you.
How does that happen?
What?
Women like that--
fine women.
Some kind
of love shortage
in the east?
Well, maybe love
has nothing to do
with it.
Well, I just
don't get it.
For some women,
it's an opportunity.
To do what?
Ship themselves
cross-country
to marry some men that
they don't even know?
No, for some woman,
it's their only chance
to escape lives
that are much worse.
Yeah, well,
it ain't right.
You meet a woman,
you fall in love,
you ask her
to marry you.
You don't pick her
out of some catalog
like a pair of boots.
What, you recognize
those two?
No, but I've seen
that wagon behind 'em.
What'll it be?
Whiskey.
Whiskey.
Good choice.
Psst.
Nobody move.
It's County.
[GUNSHOTS]
Aah!
Aah!
Hold it!
It's the sheriff!
County's a goner.
Come on.
Let's go!
Aah!
Oh!
Nice town.
Uh-oh.
Hit the sheriff.
BRISCO: Yeah, but
I didn't hit the deputy.
You just had to
hit the sheriff,
didn't you?
You hit him, too.You hit him first.
You always have to do
what I do?
Well, I'm your
faithful companion,
remember?
[KEYS JINGLE]
5 minutes.
Mr. County,
Mr. Bowler,
we have a proposition
to make.
We want to hire you.
We don't do weddings.
Nuptials are pending.
In the meantime,
we'll bail you out
if you agree
to work for us,
catch the Swills,
and get our dowries back.
We're already
after the Swills.
Oh, I forgot
one thing.
You have to let us
come with you.
We want to be there
when the Swills get caught.
No way.
Where'd you get
the bail money?
We sold the wagon
and one of the horses.
Brisco,
you ain't considering--
I'm considering
getting out of here.
Well,
I don't like it.
We don't have
a choice.
That's why
I don't like it.
Is it a deal or not?
Gentlemen.
Senor Mendosa.
Welcome to
Madrid, California.
Socrates Poole,
governor's liaison.
Estaban Cortez Mendosa,
royal representative
to the
King of Spain.
How was your trip?
Disgusting.
This is
a country of dust,
ill manners,
and strange smells.
So, this is
the sister city
of my
beloved Madrid.
I assure you,
what we lack
in old world charm
we more than
make up for
in frontier spirit.
Shall we?
Very well.
I hope
the accommodations
for the royal gift
are superior to those
that I have
so far observed.
Oh, not to worry.
If there's
one thing we know
here in the West,
it's how to handle bulls.
Senor Poole,
a correction.
This is
no mere bull.
We speak of
El Magnifico Quinto,
the finest,
proudest,
fiercest of all
the royal toro.
The king has only
once before
given such a bull
as a gift
of friendship
to another country.
We are deeply honored.
You should be
deeply worried.
You see,
the last bull
died in transit.
Poor handling,
bad food.
The king's rage
was so great that--
well, the details
are rather gruesome.
Suffice it to say that
what was once
a proud country
is now
a colony of Spain.
I see.
Well...
here it is.
Here what is, senor?
The pen where the bull
will be displayed.
No, no, no, no.
This is no good.
You don't really expect
El Magnifico
to be kept
in a filthy pen!
Well, I--
This is an outrage!
El Magnifico is part...
of my king.
Would you
have my king
sleep on dirt,
to stare out
at the world
through wooden thlath?
Thlath?
Mm-hmm.
Thlath.
Thlath!
Oh, slats.
Oh, um, well,
if this is not
satisfactory,
Senor Mendosa,
I'm certain
we can do better.
I hope tho.
That ith,
if you don't want
dear Mother
knocking
on your back door.
[THUNDER]
Bowler, over there.
Ain't got to
tell me twice.
What are you doing?
We're stopping
for the night.
No, you can't.
We have to go on.
There's nothing
to go on.
The rain's
taking care of that.
But I thought you were
the best trackers
money could buy.
Can't do much
about the weather.
But it's not even
raining anymore.
We'll pick it up
in the morning.
Yeah, if it ain't
raining again.
Mr. County, please.
I'm responsible for them.
I got them into this.
If we don't get
our dowries back,
everything I promised them
will be--
You'll get
your dowries back.
Just not tonight.
We made a deal,
Mr. County.
You work for me.
We go on.
You want
to keep riding?
Fine.
Keep riding.
I'm going
to go in there,
make a nice
warm fire, dry off,
and get myself
something to eat.
Come on, Comet.
Some guide you are,
getting afraid of
a little bit of rain.
Okay, then.
Forget you.
Forget you!
Come on, girls.
Let's go.
Come on!
Hyah! Tsk. Tsk.
They sure are
headstrong.
Stupid.
Determined.
Stubborn.
Women.
Yeah, women.
They out there
all alone...
in the dark...
in the rain.
Aw, they can come back
to this nice cozy mine
any time they want.
Well, they could be lost.
Well, they didn't
have to leave.
Since when did you
go soft on me?
Well, the Swills
could be out there.
Oh, Bowler.
Well, who knows?
They might've
doubled back.
They know
we're tracking them.
They could be waiting,
watching for anything
that looks like
easy pickings.
The girls
are out there
in the rain...
lost...
alone.
Just a thought.
Want to know
what really irks me?
Huh?
She's got my hat.
We're lost.
We are not lost.
I think
we should go back.
You've been saying
that ever since
we left Denver.
Well, at least
in Denver,
we had a roof
over our heads.
Do you want to go
back to that life?
No.
Well, do you?
Look, Cait, I'll
get us out of here,
I promise,
come hell
or high water.
Well,
we got us the water.
I'm joking.
We still believe
in you, Meg.
I just think that
we should've listened
to Mr. County.
OK, maybe
you're right,
but we're here.
So let's just make
the best of it, OK?
Wait a minute.
I think there's
somebody out there.
Here, hold him.
I'll be right back.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Aah!
Uhh.
Oh, what
do you want?
I got it, thanks.
You scared
the hell out of me!
Well, good.
Maybe you'll listen
to me from now on.
Mr. County,
I'm sorry.
I'm just not used to men
who look out for anything
other than themselves.
Come on.
I'll buy you
a hot chocolate.
Looks like Ma
fixed up the place.
Go check the barn
for the cattle wagon, huh?
Don't you want to
say hello to Ma first?
The rain's already
put us a day
behind schedule.
We don't need her
slowing us down.
Boys!
Hey, Ma.
What'd you bring me?
Ma...
Ma, I got you
some girlie stuff, Ma.
What the hell
do I want
with girlie junk?
What's this?
Fire shooting gun.
Took it off a couple
Army fellows.
Whoa!Be careful, Ma!
Look what happened
to Phil.
I like it!
Now, who's got a hug
for their ma?
That rash
clear up yet, Ma?
Get down here.
Give me a hug.
We got work
to do, Ma.
We just stopped by
to pick up the cattle wagon.
You boys going back
to cattle rustling?
Brisco County, Jr.'s
on our tail.
Don't ever say that name
where I can hear it.
Sorry, Ma.
I thought
it'd be a good idea
if we disappeared
for a while
Like leave the country.
Well, Will's got
a plan to make us
all rich, Ma.
That's the stupidest
idea I ever heard.
We've stolen
plenty of cows before.
What's so stupid
about stealing one
that's worth
a million dollars?
How you going to prove
to anybody he's worth
all you say it is?
We'll give them
our word.
You're swills.
Your word ain't
worth snot.
She got a point.
You got
a better idea?
Hell, yes, I do.
You steal that bull,
hold it for ransom.
Whoa.
If it's as important as
that newspaper says it is,
the Mexicans'll pay an arm
and a leg to get it back.
They ain't Mexicans, Ma.
They're Spanish.
Would you shut up?
Don't you snap at Phil.
I'm Bill, Ma.
Of course you are, honey.
It's just that
you and Phil
are starting to look
so much alike.
Fine. So we
steal the bull,
and we ransom it.
And that's it?
No "Thank you, Ma.
Glad we stopped.
Appreciate your help"?
Ma.
I kind of need
you to support me here.
I'm trying to be
a gang leader.
Of course.
Boys, Will here
ain't your
brother Gil,
but he's
all we got.
Do what he says
or I'll break
your legs.
Yes, Ma.Yes, Ma.
Thanks, Ma.
Now, boys,
you better pack up
and get out of here.
So long, Ma.
Bye, Ma.
Bye.
If County
comes by,
I'll take
care of him.
"When a storm washed away
"darling Danny McDonnel's
tracks down in Bolivia,
"Brisco and Bowler
asked the locals
"if they'd seen the bandit
and then got right back
on his trail."
Darling
Danny McDonnel?
Uh-huh.
When was we
in Bolivia?
We weren't.
You here for
some moonshine?
Uh, Ma'am?
Moonshine.
Grog. A kick
in the head.
Uh, Ma'am,
We're tracking
three men.
We thought
they might've
passed this way.
You the law?
He's Brisco County, Jr.,
and he's Lord Bowler.
Brisco County, Jr.
Well, you're famous
around here.
Brisco.
Wait here.
It's the Swill's
wagon alright.
Yeah, but no Swills.
That's 'cause
they changed it
for a heavier wagon.
Maybe a cattle wagon.
Looks like they're
headed for Madrid.
Huh?
California.
Oh.
[GUN COCKS]
You killed
my oldest boy...
and now you're
going to pay for it.
Gil was
my favorite,
County.
Your son was
a cold-blooded killer.
Why'd you have
to blow him up?
Couldn't you
have just maimed him
or something?
He was about to kill
a lot of innocent people.
I had no choice.
Neither do I.
Okay, let's do it.
Ready...
aim...
Ready...
aim...
and...
Wait a minute!
Don't we even get
a last request?
You don't get
nothin'.
Oh, come on.
All I want is a drink...
from her.
Me?
You.
Her?
Her.
Her?
Her.
MAN: Who?
SECOND MAN: Her.Her?
CROWD: Her.
Well, what are you
waiting for?
Get him a drink.
You want to let me
in on this?
Uh, Bowler, uh, bet you'd
like a smoke, wouldn't you?
No, I wouldn't.
You know
I don't smoke.
It's never too late
to start.
Uh, how about a smoke
for my friend here?
Uncle Dick.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Come on, Bowler.
Open up!
[GAGS]
Now let's get on
with this!
Ready...
aim...
Now, Bowler!
Fire!
Thanks, Meg.
Now cut the ropes!
Okay.
Okay, good.
Let's go, go, go!Go, go, go!
Get 'em!
MAN: They're
gettin' away.
Senor Mendosa,
look at this.
Every inch of
this building
is scrubbed,
white-washed,
and sanitized.
The hay is handpicked,
hung to dry,
is free of any dirt.
I would expect as much.
[BULL GRUNTS]
Well...
As royal representative
for his majesty,
I accept this stable
as satisfactory.
Let us celebrate
with some sangria.
So, Senor Mendosa,
what part of Castille
are you from?
How did you know
I am Castillian?
The way you
pronounce your s'es.
Thorry?
The way you say
the letter "s."
I don't understand.
You say there
is something wrong
with the way
I say my s'es?
Uh, no, not at all.
Uh, uh, I'm...
let's get to that
th-sangria.
Thertainly.
Quit complaining,
will you?
I barely
touched you.
He's over there
talking to his horse.
He always does.
Better get try
and some shuteye.
We got a lot of tracking
to do tomorrow.
What about Mr. County?
He's got first watch.
He doesn't sleep anyway.
He has bullet fragments
in his brain
from when the Swills
ambushed him.
Suffers
terrible headaches.
It's in the book,
Mr. Bowler.
First of all,
they shot him in the back,
not the brain.
The only headache he's got
is being saddled up
with you three
while we try to track
the Swills.
Now go to sleep.
Can I finish
the chapter first?
Oh, thank you.
You really messed things
up for me, you know that?
How's that?
I always had
this thing about men--
that one was pretty much
the same as the next.
I didn't think it mattered
who I married
as long as they put
a roof over my head
and food on the table.
That's pretty cynical
for a woman
of the nineties,
isn't it?
I didn't think so...
till I met you.
Well, I'm not all
I'm cracked up to be
in those dime novels,
you know.
Maybe,
but you're a decent man.
You're good,
and you're brave.
You're fair.
You're handsome, too.
Well, in this light,
anybody would look good.
Hey, hey, hey.
I can't go through
with this, Mr. County.
I can't marry a man
I've never even met.
I thought I could.
I've been trying
to convince myself
for the last
thousand miles--
Then don't.
But I have to.
I don't have a choice.
You can go always go
back to Denver.
What, to life
in a sweatshop?
I can't go back
to that.
Was it that bad?
It was hard, Mr. County.
You work your fingers
to the bone
from sunup till sundown
for a dollar a day.
No. I can't go
back to that.
So what do I do?
Well, you know, Meg,
it's not like you
only have two choices.
The West is
a pretty big place.
It's full of
opportunities.
And a woman like you,
I figured
you can do pretty much
anything you wanted.
Do you really
believe that?
Wouldn't have said it
if I didn't.
Thank you.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Okay. You two know
what to do.
No problem.
Like taking candy
from a baby.
Come.
Excuse me, gents.
Can I borrow
a match?
Phil, I believe
these gentlemen
are not allowed
to address
the public
while on duty.
Oh, well, that makes
things a lot easier.
Brisco! Bowler!
ALL: What are you
doing here?
Uh, Meg, Caitlin, Sally,
this is Socrates Poole.
I'll explain them later.
Right now,
we need to find a bull.
What are you
talking about?
The Swills are after
some kind of
million dollar bull.
No. They can't be.
What is it, Soc?
The bull. That's the
whole reason I'm here.
Considering
the political climate
between our country
and Spain,
if anything should
happen to El Magnifico,
we could be facing
a full-scale war.
Soc, you better take us
to where this bull is fast.
Right around here.
How we going to get it
from in here
to our wagon outside?
Do you remember
that bullfight
we went to in Mexico?
You wave a red blanket
at these animals,
and they'll follow you
anywhere.
Where the hell are we going
to get a red blanket?
I don't know, Bill,
but it won't be standing
around here.
Now get out there
and find me one!
That's definitely
the same kind of wagon
that left
the Swill's barn.
Then they're inside.
Let go get them.
Wait a minute.
Bowler, let's get
a closer look
before we
do anything.
I'm right with you.
Now don't move!
Somebody's going
to be coming in here
pretty soon.
We better move.
Check the street.
See what's going on.
What are you doing?It's County!
Aah!
No. No. No.
County!
Give it up or
the girl gets it.
Bill, get her in here.
Come on!
If they hurt her,
Brisco,
I'll kill them.
Alright. now, let's not
get the Swills panicked.
Let's keep everything
nice and calm.
Les voy a cocear
si lastiman
El Magnifico!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
Well, I think
nice and calm
just went
out the window.
I heard gunfire.
Who are you people?
You're in
good hands,
Senor Mendosa.
These men are
bounty hunters
here to protect
El Magnifico.
Is El Magnificosafe?
County, I got
the girl and the bull!
They're both dead unless
I get what I want.
Dios mio!
What do you want, Will?
One million in cold cash.
Uh...
You want to give me
a minute on that one?
Forget it! You get
exactly 60 seconds.
What are you doing?
Taking my gun off,
Putting my hands up,
And I'm going in there
to negotiate.
Brisco, They'll kill you
before they negotiate.
Well, it's a chance
I'm going to have to take.
Now this is a man
who understands
the importance of
El Magnifico.
Who is El Magnifico?
Alright, Will,
let's talk!
What is it, County?
It's me. I'm unarmed.
I want to come in.
Now a million dollars,
uh, that's a lot of
money.
We should talk
this out, Will.
Do some negotiating.
There's nothing
to negotiate.
Will, it's going
to take us days
to get that
much money together.
Let me in there,
and we'll work
something out
that'll make you
just as happy.
Come on!
Come on.
MEG:
Be careful, Brisco.
Well, Brisco County, Jr.,
seems we've thrown
a lot of lead your way,
and you just
won't go away.
He will now.
You're not dumb enough
to shoot me now,
are you, Bill?
I'm Phil. He's Bill.
And I just might be
dumber than you think.
You got an army outside
surrounding this barn.
You shoot me,
you might as well
shoot yourself.
Now, come on, Will,
are we going to
negotiate or not?
Put the gun away, Phil.
We don't need
no negotiation.
I said put the gun away!
[PISTOL CLICKS]
[SNORTS]
OK, County,
negotiate.
I'll make this simple.
I think maybe
we can round up, uh,
10-15,000.
That's close to
a million, ain't it?
Yeah, pretty close.
And then what?
Then I get Sally
and the bull.
Then you can
have your money.
[LAUGHS]
Nice try.
W-We'll take 20,000,
and let the bull
and the girl go
after we get
out of town.
Boy, Phil, I
just don't know
if they're going
to go for that.
[LAUGHS]
How'd they like it
if we made that bull
into a--
a barbecue treat, huh?
[SNORTS]
Aah! Whoa!
Aah!
Get out!
Whoa!
There it goes!
Well, what are you
waiting for?
Go get the bull!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
Let them get the bull.
We'll get the Swills.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
Where'd they go, Soc?
Everywhere.
Down that way,
around the corner,
who knows?
Take care of her,
Socrates. I'll be back.
[BULL LOWS]
If you think I'm
missing all the fun,
forget it.
[STAMMERS]
[HORSE NEIGHS]
You wouldn't be
trying to take my horse,
would you, Bill?
Uhh!
Aah!
Uhh!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Never were too good
with your head, Bill.
Oh, get away!
Get away! Stay back!
[INDISTINCT YELLING]
[POTTERY BREAKING]
[INDISTINCT YELLING]
[POTTERY BREAKING]
[BULL LOWING]
Whoa!
Oh! Oh!
[GROANING]
Uhh!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[BULL LOWS]
[BULL ROARS]
Meg, open the gate!
Hyah! Hyah!
[BULL LOWS]
I'd say
the party's over.
Uhh!
People of Madrid,
California,
I am touched
by your welcome
and eager to present to you
El Magnifico Quinto,
the most prized
of all royal bulls--
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
But, first,
my appreciation
to those who have made
this gift possible.
Sally Dane...
for your courageousness
in infiltrating
the camp of the Swills,
I present you with
this Medal of Valor.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Caitlin Ward,
for your quick thinking
in helping
to stop the theft
of El Magnifico,
I award you
the Cross of Iron.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
And last but not least,
Megan O'Brien,
for having
the heart of a lion
in capturing
the mighty beast,
I award you
the Medal of Honor.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Brisco County, Jr.,
Lord Bowler,
Socrates Poole,
I hear you did good, too.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
And now let
the festivities begin!
[CHEERING]
Not a bad turn of events
for 3 girls
down on their luck.
So I, uh...
I take it you
won't be getting
married soon.
No way. I think we've
all had our eyes opened
to some other
possibilities.
Forget it.
He's never getting married.
That's what it said in
The Adventures of Brisco
in Paradise.
Sally, don't believe
everything you read.
Girls, come on.
The King wants
to dance with us.
[LAUGHS]
And now we're dancing
with kings.
I'll never forget about you,
Brisco County, Jr.
[IMITATES MEG]
I'll never forget about
you, Brisco County, Jr.
Oh, brother.
What about me?
Uh...I won't forget you,
Mr. Bowler.
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS]
Come on, I'll buy you
a sangria.