The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 11 - Deep in the Heart of Dixie - full transcript

The point is
you should talk to her.

About what, huh?

Well, what do you
usually talk about?

Schedules, appointments.

And things
that don't matter

when you suddenly realize
you're falling

for the boss's
secretary.

Alright.
So schedule a dinner.

With her?

Mm-hmm, a date
with Miss Avnet.

Take her someplace nice.



I can't.

Why not?

Well, what if she says no?

Then you don't go.

What if she says yes?

Ha, relax, Soc.

It's not like
you've never been

out on a date
before, ha,

is it?

Dixie?

Hyah!

Whoa! Whoa!

Ha!

Get down!



Grab her!

Come on.

No!

No!

[GRUNTING]

Come on, Let's get
out of here. Let's go!

Hyah.
Hyah, hyah.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Who were those guys?

Dixie!

Is she alright?

Dixie!

[CHATTER]

So I just start talking
and it'll record my voice?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Uh, come here, Watson,

I want you.

The coming thing,
huh.

It's called
a talking machine,

it's a whole new way
of keeping business records.

Yeah, but that's
just the beginning.

Imagine
the possibilities
with this.

Like, uh, music,
for example.

You could listen to
your favorite song

whenever
you wanted to.

Who'd want to listen
to the same song

over and over again?

Dixie Cousins,
for one.

She was singing
into one of those

when she stumbled
across something

that could ruin
our country.

You've heard
of Warrington Hyde,

the Civil War general?

Yeah. Most likely
the next president

of the United States.

Miss Cousins has
in her possession

a wax cylinder
like this

with an incriminating
conversation

between Bly and Hyde
on it.

Well, how'd
she get that?

She was Hyde's paramour.

It was his talking machine
she was using

when she found
the cylinder in question.

Well, leave it
to Dixie to get
mixed up

with the wrong guy
again.

She didn't know
what to do

so she contacted me,

and I alerted
the U.S. Attorney

who had her in
protective custody

until Bly's assassin
made his attack.

Bly's assassin?

Winston Smiles.

He won't stop
until he finds her,
Mr. County.

And we can't trust
the U.S. Attorney

to bring her back safely
to testify anymore.

Any idea where
she's run off to?

She wired
one of our banks
for money.

I think
she headed south,

to Pasadena.

Mmm. Probably disguised
as a little old lady.

Mr. County, if she
and the cylinder

aren't back here
by Monday at noon,

the grand jury
won't allow it
as evidence,

and all will be lost.

Don't you worry.

I'll find her.

Mr. Cartwright...

Miss Avnet!

Your lunch
with the ambassador.

I didn't want you
to forget.

Oh, right.

I'm counting on you...

County.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Uh-oh.

Lord Bowler...

a.k.a. Ervin Paults,

a.k.a. Pierre Lamont,

a.k.a. Joe Echohawk.

What about it?

I'm U.S. Attorney Breakstone,

and I'd like a word,
if you have a moment.

You're the best tracker
in the West, Mr. Paults,

and your country
needs you.

I'm listening.

Mr. Lamont,

are you familiar
with one Dixie Cousins,

a.k.a. Myra Simon?

That depends.

One of my informants
recently spotted her
in Pasadena.

I want you
to go down there,
pick her up,

and bring her to me
by noon Monday.

Why, is she in trouble?

I'm sorry, but that's on
a need-to-know basis,
Mr. Echohawk.

However, I am prepared
to make you

a credentialed agent
of the U.S. Government.

Is that all I get
out of this,

A fancy tin horn

and a fine howdy-do
from Uncle Sam?

How does $5,000 cash
sound, Mr. Bowler?

God bless America.

[PIANO PLAYING]

♪ If it's sinful
to wink your eye ♪

♪ At each guy
who just passes by ♪

♪ Won't somebody
please tell me why ♪

♪ It feels good
to be bad? ♪

♪ If it's evil
to flirt with men ♪

♪ Then have trouble
saying when-- ♪

Brisco, what are you
doing here?

I came here
to bring you back.

Well, I don't want
to go back.

That's too bad.

Brisco, put me down!

Alright, you look
bad in a wig

and you were
too easy to find.

No, I mean,
let go of me!

Okay, Okay.
Just stop being
such a pain.

Why is it the one time I don't
want to see you, you show up?

Dixie, you have to
go back.

You know it's
the right thing
to do.

Well, I think
staying alive's
the right thing to do.

Which is why
I'm heading south
for Jalisco.

No, no, no,
You're going north
to Frisco.

Forget it, Brisco.

All you need is that
stupid cylinder anyway.

Look, I hid it at
Los Gatos Mission.

Just take it
to the grand jury
and leave me alone.

That cylinder is no good

without your testimony
to back it up.

[SIGHS]

Wait, you hid it
in a mission?

Oh, it's a long story.

Hopefully,
I'll live long enough
to tell you about it.

You will, trust me.

Aw, if I had
a nickel

for every time a man
said that to me,

I'd be living
in Fort Knox.

You're already
as good as gold, Dix.

Now keep moving.
Come on.

Aw, there's nothing like
an evening breeze

to pique the palate

and delight
the sense of smell,

eh, gentlemen?

Tonight I've prepared
a pheasant dish

which I think is
perfect for the trail.

Light, tasty,

and the ideal complement

for vichyssoise.

Ah, I trust your wound
hasn't robbed you

of your appetite,
Mr. Ricketts?

Not at all,
Mr. Smiles.

Looks real good.

Things didn't
quite turn out

as you planned yesterday,
did they?

We had an
unexpected complication.

Yes...

always complications.

I can teach you much

about the business
of assassination,

but the unexpected
provides its own lessons.

Who here has
a contingency plan

for the procuring
of Miss Cousins?

Ahem, I do.

Excellent, Simkins.

Since our quarry
is in close proximity,

I shall ask you
to share it in due course,

but first, a lesson.

Uh, Mr. Ricketts...

would you be
good enough to, uh...

identify this?

Cyanide.

Yes.

The scent
of bitter almonds.

It's obvious
if you're trained
to respect it,

as you all are.

Now...

the violets.

Smell them, please.

Take a deep breath.

Nice.

The fascinating thing
about violets is...

that they contain ionone.

Ionone, to borrow
an electrical term

in fashion nowadays,

short-circuits
our sense of smell.

Pass the salt?

One momentarily loses the
ability to smell anything

once it assaults
the olfactory receptors.

So Ricketts here
cannot smell

the poison
in his pheasant,

even though it
positively reeks
of it.

Pass the salt...

please.

Pheasant a la cyanide,
gentlemen.

A culinary selection

that should teach
a valuable lesson

about failure...

and also about eating
before your host.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

We're lost,
aren't we?

I know
where I'm going.

Maybe we should ask
someone for help.

We're not lost.
We're just taking
these side trails here

so Smiles
doesn't find us.

I don't see any trail.

They're here,
you have to know
where to look.

Now be quiet.

Oh, men.

You never want to ask
for directions.

What is it?

There's somebody
out there.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Bowler?

Brisco.

Miss Dixie.

You looking
mighty fine.

Fancy meeting you here,
Bowler.

Miles from nowhere
in the forest.

Aren't you just
a little far from home?

Oh, don't get
your hackles up.

I'm just heading south,

thought I'd take
the scenic route.

Maybe he's lost, too.

I'm ain't lost!I'm not lost!

He--hey!

Sorry, Brisco,

But I'm a special
government agent.

It means I can do anything
I damn well please.

Right now
I damn well please
to take her.

Hey, wait a minute.Miss Dixie--

What are you doing?
Brisco!

Aah!

Aah!

Brisco, help!

Oof!

Ooh!

Well done, Simkins,
well done,

like any good meal.

Well, Miss Cousins,
looks like your goose
is cooked.

If you'd be good enough,
my dear young lady,

to step down
from your animal.

Now.

Come on, Dix!

Hyah!

Hyah!

Hyah!

Ahh!

Get the horses!
Let's go!

Hyah!

Come on, boy!

Hyah!

Hyah!

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

Hyah!

Come on, boy.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

Hyah! Come on, Comet.
Come on, boy

Give me your hand!

Whoa!

Comet,
what are you doing?

He doesn't want to
get left behind.

Well, how do you suggest
I get him up here?

[GUNSHOTS]

Aah!

Ow!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[HORSES NEIGH]

Now what?

Mr. Simkins...

inside you'll find
a pair of pliers,
a spool of wire,

and a telegraph key--
everything you need

to splice into
a telegraph line.

I don't get it.

Sauce for the goose,
my dear boy.

They're on
a speeding train.
We're sitting here.

The only way
to stop them

is to wire ahead
and tell them
there's a problem.

Well, don't just sit there!
Go ahead and do it!

Come on.

Ho ho.

Comet, you sure are
a sight for sore eyes.

[NEIGHS]

Oh, now, come on.

Comet,
I know you don't like
other people riding you,

but we got
a situation here.

We could help
each other out, huh?

[NEIGHS]

Come on.

I got--I got an apple
for you, Comet.

Nice and green, too.

Yeah. Heh heh!

Good boy!

Well, at least it's
not your good hand.

I shoot
with my left, anyway.

That's not
what I meant.

Ow!
That hurts, you know.

Sorry.

Hey, It's fine!
Just leave it alone.

Oh, just stop
being a baby
and hold still.

Thanks.

For what?

Coming to my rescue.

Yeah,
so what else is new?

What's that
supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Hey, if you're
mad about something,

why don't you just
come out and say it?

I just don't understand

why you keep falling
for the wrong guys
all the time.

Well, a girl
gets lonely, Brisco.

Besides, I don't
have much choice

when the right guy
keeps walking out
the door, do I?

Ouch! That's not
helping, you know.

Yeah? Well, maybe
this will.

[MOANING]

Better?

What are you
looking for, Dix?

What everybody else is--

the right place...

The right time...

The right man...

And not necessarily
in that order.

How far north did you
say this train goes?

I'm U.S. Attorney
Breakstone.

Oh, please.

Don't you think
everybody knows

who you are by now?

I'm sorry, Mr. Poole.
He just barged in.

It's alright,
Miss Avnet.

What do you want,
Breakstone?

I'll get right
to the point.

I've been investigating
General Hyde for 3 years,

and I'm not about
to let you jeopardize
a government investigation

by sending Brisco County
after our star witness.

We wouldn't have
to send anybody
after her

if you hadn't
lost her,

which begs the question

how Smiles found out
you had her.

A leak in your
organization, perhaps?

I've hired Lord Bowler
to bring Dixie Cousins in.

It's country versus
County now, Poole.

You're joking.

I never joke, and I smile
only occasionally.

I assume you're aware
that County's been
romantically involved

with Miss Cousins
in the past.

How did you know that?

We're the government.
We know everything.

Well, let me
tell you something
maybe you don't know.

Brisco County is,
above all else,
a man of integrity,

and he would never let
his personal feelings

interfere
with what's right,

so unless you have
a court order
to the contrary,

I suggest you butt out

and let Brisco
bring Dixie in.

Miss Avnet...

show Mr. Breakstone out.

That won't be necessary.

Next time you have
a cat caught up a tree

and you need
the government's help,

don't call me.

That was impressive,

how you stood up
for Mr. County like that.

That?

Mmm, it's...
standard operating
procedure, Miss Avnet,

goes with the territory.

I don't know why
I never noticed this before,

but there's something
very attractive
about you, Socrates.

May I call you Socrates?

Well...sure!

Uh...Miss Avnet,
I've been meaning
to ask you something.

Would you like
to get a cup of coffee

or...something,
sometime, maybe?

Coffee?

Uh, yes, uh.

No...no coffee.

Um...I under--sorry.
I...understand.

I won't settle for anything
less than dinner.

Dinner?

How's Friday at 8:00?

Oh, boy.

Uh...yeah.

That's fine.

What was that?

What?
Man: Now.

That.

This is one of
my favorite recipes,
Mr. County.

The train will be leaving
in a few moments,

and if Miss Cousins
doesn't tell me where
the cylinder is hidden,

I'm afraid
you'll be shopping

at big and tall stores
from now on.

Don't tell him
anything, Dixie.

Brisco,
he'll kill you
if I don't!

He'll kill you
if you do.

Gallant but inaccurate.

Tell me, or you both die.

As you wish.

Start the engine.

Let's go.

Last chance.

I can't.

Whoa!

[GRUNTING]

Ooh! Aah! Ohh! Oh!

Ahh. You should
avert your eyes.

This isn't going
to be very pretty.

Ooh!

Brisco!

Ow!

Come on, Dix!

Come on. Come on.

A worthy challenge,
gentlemen...

adds a little
spice to life.

Now that we
wired Socrates,

do we get back
on the train?

No. Smiles stopped
that train once.

He can do it again.

So what now?

Well, we lay low,
travel fast,

pick up that cylinder.

You know,
you never did tell me

why you hid that
thing in a mission.

Bowler.

Whoa.

BRISCO: Well, I can't seem
to shake you, can I?

Okay, I am through
fooling around!

Let go of me.

I'm bringing you in.

No, you're not.
Yes, I am.

No, you're not.
Yes, I am.

Fellas, I like
the attention,

but the tension part
is killing me.

Haven't you boys played
this game long enough?

What game?

Going after the same thing
all the time

but for completely
different reasons?

You want bounties.
You want justice.

It all leads
to the same place--

bringing in your man.

Or woman,
in this case.

Thank you for noticing.

My pleasure,
Miss Dixie.

Yeah, maybe you two
should throw in the towel

and work together.

BOTH: Hmm.

Think about it.

You'd get the job done
twice as fast

with half the effort.

Mm-mmm.
I work alone.

So do I.

Oh, then it's settled.

Now what are we gonna do
about a ride?

Huh?

[DONKEY BRAYING]

♪ de colores,
se visten los campos ♪

♪ en la primavera ♪

Oh, hey, hey, hey!

Excuse me. You guys
headed north?

Let me handle this.

Special agent. Pull over.
That's an order.

♪ primavera ♪

♪ de col-- ♪

Hey, Dixie Cousins!

Why, yes.
Do I know you gauchos?

Cardo, it's her!
The lady on the coin!

Coin?

What coin?

This coin.

Dixie Cousins.
Lady of liberty.

You're famous
in Jalisco since
the revolution.

Thanks to you,
General Zaca
never got his guns.

Not bad.

Good hair day, too.

Uh, look, we need a ride.
Can you help us out?

On one condition, Señor.

That Miss Cousins
may sing with us,

"Los Famosos Hermosos!"

♪ de colores ♪

♪ de colores se visten
los campos ♪

♪ en la primavera ♪

♪ de colores ♪

Come on, boy.

♪ de son
los pajaritos ♪

♪ que vienen
de afuera ♪

Come on, Comet,
vamanos.

♪ de colores ♪

What do you want, Poole?

Miss Avnet said
it was important.

Good news. I just
got a wire from Brisco.

He's found Dixie.

Thank God.
Where are they?

On their way
to pick up the cylinder.

They'll be here
within 48 hours.

Excellent.
Keep me posted.

And, Poole,
mum's the word.

Mr. Cartwright,
you forgot to sign
these payroll checks,

and they simply
must go out tonight.

Oh, yes, yes.

Socrates,
take care of it.

I'm late for dinner.

Of course.

Please... bring them over,
Miss Avnet.

You seem to be
in a good mood.

I do?

Well,
I guess I am.

Why?

Uh...I'm sorry.
I can't.

Sign here.

Sign, please.

Oh, right.

And here.

So, aren't you
going to tell me?

Oh, I'm sorry.

W-what was
the question?

I want you.

Ex-excuse me?

I can't hold it back
any longer, Socrates.

I need you.

All of you.

I thought we were
just having dinner.

Why wait for dinner
when we can have
dessert right now?

Oh, my--oh!

Oh. Ooh! Miss Avnet!

Rita.

Oh--

Socrates!

Mr. Cartwright,
I can explain.

No need, man.

Carry on.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[HORSE WHINNIES]

[OWL HOOTS]

What's the matter
with him?

He's just sulking.

Still mad 'cause
you left him behind, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.
Uh-huh.

Yeah. I know
how he feels.

I, uh, think I hear
the Hermosos calling me.

Coming, amigos.

Are we ever
going to talk?

About what?

Us.

Us?

Yes, us.

You know,
you and me,
boy and girl,

last night...us.

Oh, yeah.

How quickly they forget.

Oh, I didn't forget, Dixie.

It was the best train ride
I ever took.

Oh, is that all
there is for us--

a train ride here,
a hotel room there,

a hay barn
somewhere else?

Alright,
I get the idea.

Well?

Come on, Dix. You know
how I feel about you.

Do I? Humor me.

Well...

I--I have feelings for you.

Uh, strong...
strong feelings.

That the best
you can do?

Well, what do you--

What do you want
me to say?

Oh, the truth
is always good.

Unless it hurts.
Then lie to me.

Well, I suppose
the truth is that...

I'm afraid
of getting involved.

I'm not sure if I'm ready
for a commitment.

That's too bad
because I am.

I never thought
I'd hear myself
say this,

but I'm getting
kinda tired of
bouncing around

from one club
to the next.

I'm looking
for a change.

Sometimes I wonder
if I'll ever be ready...

after seeing what
my mother went through

being married
to a lawman.

Oh. It wasn't
a pretty sight.

Afraid history
will repeat itself?

Well, I don't know.

Yeah. Maybe.

You know what
our problem is?

What?

Timing.

[CHURCH BELL RINGING]

Myra!

Hello, Mother Superior.

Oh, thank God
you're alright.

Oh, I'm doing fine.
These are my friends.

Welcome.

Thank you.

Thank you so much
for your help.

Myra?

A.K.A. Simon.

No one knows the cylinder
is here except for me.

I can't
thank you enough.

How do you know her?

Well, my parents
were settlers.

We were coming West when
our wagon was raided,

and I was taken
by Cherokees

and raised
as one of their own.

Then I was rescued
by Mennonites,

and I lived with them
until they all died
of Yellow Fever.

And that's when
I came here.

For the next 15 years,

I was trained
to be a nun.

But my heart just
wasn't into the work.

You're kidding.

No. I'm sure
there are people

with much worse
childhoods than mine.

Cherokee, huh?
I'm part Cherokee.

Maybe we're related.

County, I know
you're in here.

That's Smiles.How did he find us?

I don't know, but
they better not
start nothing

in the Lord's house.

Quickly--in here.

No guns, Brisco.
We are in a church.

Bowler,
they're right outside!

I mean it.

So what are we gonna do?

Fan out. I don't want
to lose them again.

Where have
they gone?

They haven't gone.
They've just disappeared.

Where?

Before your very eyes.

How?

Think like a chameleon

if you want to find
a chameleon.

Go!

Man, you're one big nun!

That's Mr. Nun
to you!

Now that's what
I call a bad habit.

Oh, shut up.

I'll go get the horses.

Alright, we'll
go get the cylinder
and meet you out back.

Come on, Dix.

Confess your sins
so you may ask
the Lord's forgiveness

in the name
of the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Ghost.

Oy.

[DOOR SLIDING]

Do you have anything
to confess, my son?

Uh, not right now, thanks.

Are you certain,
Mr. County?

Spence, get the horses.

Are you Catholic,
by any chance?

No.

Pity.

Life after death
isn't an option for you.

The wax cylinder now,
Miss Cousins,

and no more games.

It's in here.
I hid it
behind the oven.

Mother!

The cylinder.

Be careful, Myra.

Thank you, Mother.

You better head out
before he comes to.

Forgive me, Father,
but that felt good.

TAPE RECORDER: Just take
the money, Hyde,

and don't forget who put you
in the White House.

Don't worry, Bly, I won't.

Well done, Brisco.

You mean well done,
Brisco and Bowler.

Well, it's not over yet.

The grand jury
doesn't convene
until morning.

We still have to
protect Dixie.

Make sure no one
comes in or out

without my permission.

Count on it.

Soc, you better keep that
in your safe.

Miss Cousins,
you must be famished.

Let me get you
something to eat.

Oh, how sweet.
Thank you.

So, how's it going
between you two?

I believe it falls
under the category of

be careful
what you wish for.

Uh, Soc,

did anyone else
have access

to that telegram
I sent you?

Why?

Because somehow
Smiles found out

where that cylinder
was hidden.

You mean the leak's
in the Westerfield Club?

Relax, Brisco.
I'm safe.

Smiles won't
try anything in here.

Don't be so sure.

Here we are,
Miss Cousins.

Hope you like pheasant.

Thank you.

[CUCKOO]

Did you hear that?

What's the matter?

Well, this bird
smells kind of funny.

Eat it.

Oh, my god!

Ohh!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Oh.

[TICKING]

Now I don't
have to worry

about the cylinder
or Miss Cousins anymore.

I hope you like
dessert Flambé,

Mr. County.

No, I don't.

Ohh!

Uhh!

Ladies, please!

Uhh!

Aah...

uh...

Ow! Ow!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Urgh!

Aah!

Miss Avnet, you're fired!

Brisco!

Get out of here!

The whole place
is going to blow!

Come on! Come on!

Go! Go!

Not you, County.

I don't care
who you are.

You ain't getting in.

I'm U.S. Attorney
Breakstone.

You work for me.

No, I don't. I quit.

You can have
your stupid badge back.

It don't work no way.

Bowler, open the gates!

I thought
I was supposed to
keep everybody in.

The whole thing's
going to blow!

Uhh!

[CUCKOO]

Brisco!

No!

Whew.

My god.

I don't believe it.

You can go on in now,
Breakstone....

if you want.

Well, Soc,
thanks to Dixie,

Hyde will be
behind bars

for some time
to come now.

You know,
sticking one of those
talking machines

inside the oval office
might go a long way

toward keeping everybody
honest.

Never happen.

It's all gone, Brisco.

The library,
my office,

the legal papers I labored
over for months, everything.

Yeah, it's too bad.

You know...

I will never understand
why Miss Avnet

sold us out to Bly

after everything
we did for her.

I...

thought she actually
liked me.

Well,
how do you know
she didn't?

The gun,
the kick to the groin.

She used me.

Now, don't give up
hope, Soc.

She probably
won't get more
than 3 years.

At least you know
she won't be
cheating on you.

[HORSES APPROACHING]

Bowler,
what are you
doing here?

Whoo.

We need to talk.

About what?About us.

Jeez, not you, too.

If we gonna be partners,

we need to get a few things
straight, Brisco.

That's fine, but can
we do it later?

I have a date.

A date? With who?
Miss Dixie?

Yeah.

Now, beat it,
will you?

We're not partners
on everything.

Damn.

Nice touch...Romeo.

[LAUGHING]

Well, there's no sense
wasting these.

Hey...

aren't those
supposed to be
for me?

I, uh, guess
it's the thought
that counts.

I was, uh...

beginning to think
that you changed
your mind.

I did.

And then
I changed my mind again.

And I'm here.

So where do you
want to go?

Um...

wherever we end up.

[theme music]

[music continues]

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