The Addams Family (1964–1966): Season 1, Episode 2 - Morticia and the Psychiatrist - full transcript
The Addamses go into crisis alert: Much to their horror and shame, Pugsy shows a sudden keen interest in joining the Boy Scouts, going so far as to also start raising a puppy. There's nothing for it but to call in a child psychologist to save the lad and family honor from these bizarre new fascinations. Dr. Black recommends indulging the boy's new directions for a while - strange as they might seem - but when he's called in for an emergency visit and notes the decor of the Addams house (not the camping equipment piled high on the living room floor), he gets the wrong idea where the boy's errant and grotesque interests have been indulged.
♪ They're creepy
and they're kooky
♪ Mysterious and spooky
♪ They're altogether ooky
♪ The Addams family
♪ The house is a museum
♪ When people come to see 'em
♪ They really are a scream
♪ The Addams family
Neat.
Sweet.
Petite.
♪ So get a witch's shawl on
♪ A broomstick you can crawl on
♪ We're gonna pay a call on
♪ The Addams family ♪
It's unbelievable.
Our own son.
He was always such a good boy.
Keeping to the basement,
playing with his octopus.
It's terrible.
You... You must do
something about it.
After all, darling, the
Addams family honor.
You're right. Family honor.
Thank you, Thing.
It's worse than I
thought. He's wearing it.
I don't believe it.
I want to see it
with my own eyes.
We've lost him.
Can I look, Mother?
Certainly not.
Grandmama, take her to her room.
I can't stand
these weird things.
I'm gonna sit in my tree
house and watch the lightning.
Our poor boy.
Something's come over him.
What are we going to do?
Darling, I must
have time to think.
After all, this isn't
some boyish prank
like setting the house on fire.
You've spoiled the boy,
that's what you've done.
How?
How?
Well, what other boy
has a playroom like this?
I don't see any harm
in a few simple toys.
You call this rack a simple toy?
Why, this is
luxury, pure luxury.
And how about this battle-ax?
It was the boy's fifth birthday,
and he was so
tired of his blowgun.
Oh, fine.
You know, my father
wouldn't even let me
touch one of these
until I was eight.
You know, I didn't become
what I am by accident.
I had upbringing like no other.
Like no other.
Eight years old.
And how old was he when
you gave him this little toy?
That's not Pugsley's,
that's little Wednesday's.
Oh, Wednesday's. You're
gonna spoil her, too, huh?
Perhaps we have been
pampering them too much.
Well, there's really
nothing to worry about.
Oh, yes, there is.
A 10-year-old boy sneaking
around in a Boy Scout uniform.
Darling, there's something I was
hoping I wouldn't have to tell you.
The other afternoon I saw
Pugsley playing with a bat.
A bat? Oh, well,
that's more like our boy.
A baseball bat.
It's a game played
outdoors. In the sun.
Oh, no.
You know what I think?
The boy needs help.
No, tomorrow's another day.
We'll bide our time.
Maybe he'll come out of it.
Perhaps you're right.
We can only hope.
Let's go upstairs to bed.
Why, thank you, Thing.
Thank heaven
Thing is still normal.
Come along, darling, I want
to show you my new nightgown.
Do you like it? Adore it.
Tish, let's go down to the cave.
Oh, that we save for
special occasions, bubele.
You know what you do
when you call me that.
Well, it just slipped out.
Now control yourself, Gomez.
I'll try.
Let me do that. You
did mine last night.
Oh, that scent's beautiful.
Buy a barrel of it.
That's the only way it comes.
Darling, I'm sorry,
I just can't think of anything
tonight except our poor Pugsley.
I understand.
Who'd ever thought we'd
have a problem child?
I wonder if blondes
do have more fun.
Watch it, Tish. Watch it!
Wonderful.
For a minute there I
thought I was going to miss.
I love to watch you
play with these trains.
It brings out the real you.
It's not the same
without little Pugsley.
He's a great train wrecker.
It's a shame to see
natural talent go to waste.
Tish, would you like to
see me blow up three trains?
Oh, darling, you know I would.
But I have to fix your lunch.
We're having your
favorite, eye of newt.
Broiled.
Just a minute, Son.
What's the hurry?
I've got things
to do. I gotta go.
But you forgot
to feed Aristotle.
Gomez,
have you noticed how Pugsley's
been ignoring poor Aristotle lately?
Well, he does look a little
pale around the tentacles.
Look at those sad eyes.
I wonder where he
went in such a hurry.
Oh, I do hope he
went to the mineshaft.
The dankness
does things for him.
Gomez!
What is it?
He's out there
playing with an it.
Maybe it's a baby armadillo.
Please, let's not pretend.
We all know what it is.
It's a P-U-P-P-Y.
Lurch.
You rang?
Go get Pugsley and
take him to his room.
I wanna have a talk with him.
He's out there
playing with... I know.
Well, maybe we could all
learn to love the little P-U-P-P-Y.
Uncle Fester, go to your room.
Come with me.
I can't right now.
May I come in, Son?
Just a second.
I hope I'm not interrupting.
No, I wasn't doing
anything special.
Good, I thought
we'd have a chat.
May be a little difficult
for you to realize, Pugsley,
but I was once a boy your age.
It is a little hard to
think of you at 10.
Oh, I was a typical child.
Faced with all the
typical temptations.
The important thing, Pugsley,
is for a boy not to
take a wrong turn.
I'll never forget
when I was a boy,
I stood in front of
Bailey's department store,
admiring a display of gaudy
uniforms, mess kits, pup tents,
those fat little knives.
I often wondered what
would have happened
if I had tied that first knot.
Gosh, Dad, you might have
ended up as a Scoutmaster.
Boy, you're sicker
than I thought.
Don't you realize that all he's
going to grow up to be is a dog?
Oh, it went that badly, dear?
Terrible.
He even called me "Dad."
Thank heaven he's
never called me "Mom."
First serious talk I've had
with the lad and I botched it.
Where did we fail, Gomez?
Who knows?
I have it. He's still a baby.
Tonight when I tuck him in,
I'll read him something
nice and soothing.
"Once upon a midnight dreary
"While I pondered,
weak and weary
"Over many a quaint and
curious volume of forgotten lore
"While I nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly there
came a tapping..."
Pugsley, darling,
you're not listening.
The Raven was always
one of your favorites.
You said it made you
feel so nice and cozy.
I like it all right.
I've just got other
things on my mind.
Mother knows.
She knows when
her little boy is upset.
I'm not upset.
But you are, darling,
you're all flushed.
Lost your lovely pallor.
Now, why don't you put all these
strange thoughts out of your mind?
I'll get your alligator.
Oh.
Oh, you poor dear.
"Plumbers, proxy solicitors,
"psychologist, child."
Morticia, must we?
Darling, we need
help. Dr. Black.
Black?
Well, at least he
sounds friendly.
5432...
I can see she has
a real problem.
It's not Mrs. Addams.
Oh.
It's his problem.
It's our Pugsley.
What is a Pugsley?
Pugsley is our son.
Oh, a child problem.
I've got one of my own.
No wonder you two look so...
You should see how my
wife and I look some days.
I'll never forget...
Just what seems
to be the trouble?
Well, in the first place,
it's those terrible clothes
he's been wearing.
Uh-huh, beatnik.
That wouldn't be bad.
Really?
But on top of that he's
suddenly attached himself
to the strangest creature.
A girl?
An animal.
The retreat-to-the-forest
syndrome.
They all go through
these things.
We never did.
Believe me, most parents
have the same problem.
Weird clothes and strange pets,
all bidding for more attention.
Well, give him a little more.
Cater to his childish whims.
Cater to such outrageous
behavior? Mmm-hmm.
And in a few days, you'll
have your boy back again.
Well.
Thank you, Doctor.
You modern psychologists
certainly have a way of
getting to the heart of things.
We do, don't we?
Yes. Oh, come here, darling.
You want to see me, Mom?
Yes, I always want
to see you, darling.
What's closer in this world
than a boy and his mother?
A boy and his octopus?
Maybe. Would you like
to help me feed Cleopatra?
I can't, Mom. I have
to go up and read.
Now, now, Cleopatra.
Mind your manners, darling.
What is it you're
reading, darling?
"How to Become an Eagle Scout."
Oh, is that about an eagle
who carries off a scout?
Don't think so.
Well, read what
you please, dear.
Oh, I see you have on
your lovely neckerchief.
May I try it on?
Sure.
Now I have to go up
and read my manual.
Keep the neckerchief,
Mother, I'll get another.
Oh, Cleopatra, there is
real tragedy in this house.
Put them back,
Lurch. Doctor's orders.
We must cater to his every
whim until this phase passes.
Where did you find him?
He was out in front of
the house in that uniform,
helping an old lady
across the street.
Aren't you gonna punish him?
For what?
The things kids
get away with today.
Pugsley, that's certainly
a smart-looking uniform.
Mind if I try on the hat?
Gosh, no, Dad.
How do I look? Sharp.
Been a long time
since you and I have
had a real romp with the trains.
Lately we haven't had a chance
to be together much, have we?
Guess not.
Remember how we always used
to enjoy blowing up the bridge?
Today I've got dynamite under
the bridge and the water tower.
You do?
Next time she comes around,
you grab the plunger and let her rip.
All right, here she
comes. Got the plunger?
4, 3, 2, 1, now!
I'm sorry, Dad, I'm
just not in the mood.
Morticia, I failed again.
We've both failed.
We've lost touch with him.
Maybe we were thoughtless.
That summer we were too busy
to go into the bat cave with him.
Now he throws balls at them.
Dr. Black, I'm just
afraid it's an emergency.
You're going to
have to come over.
But we did do as you suggested.
We have catered to his whims.
We have paid attention to him.
But it just doesn't do any good.
You have no idea
the strange things
he's been bringing
into this house.
You're just going to
have to come over.
Dr. Black, I'm so
glad you're here.
We've been at our wits'
end over our Pugsley.
Just look at this mess.
I can see your problem.
Isn't this sickening?
Ghastly.
You told us to cater to him.
Well, this is the result.
Horrible.
I guess I am partly to blame,
but I think you
went a little too far.
Much too far.
As a matter of fact, this is the
most extreme case of over-catering
I've ever seen.
Oh, Dr. Black, this is
Pugsley's uncle, Fester.
How do you... do?
I see you've been
catering to the boy, too.
And how.
Excuse me, those, uh,
those things you're carrying...
I'm taking them up
to Pugsley's room.
Aren't they dangerously
large firecrackers for a boy?
Oh, they're not firecrackers,
they're dynamite.
Uh, Mrs. Addams, I know I'm
responsible for what's going on here,
but I'm afraid things have
gotten too far out of hand.
I better take over.
I think I'll go up and have a
talk with the boy. Very well.
It's the door at the
head of the stairs,
the one with the baby
vultures painted on it.
Oh, come on, Pugsley,
let's have a blast,
just for old times' sake, huh?
Who is it?
It's Dr. Black, sonny.
Your mommy asked me
to have a little chat with you.
Come in, sir.
I, uh, I think you've
done more than your part.
I'll take it from here.
Good luck.
You, uh, you really like the
way your Uncle Fester looks?
Oh, sure. He looks fine.
I can see we're going to
have to have quite a chat.
What's going on? He's up there.
With Pugsley? Yes.
Oh, dear.
Maybe we shouldn't have taken
his ax away when he was a baby.
He seemed so happy
chopping up things.
And it was good exercise.
Wish I knew what
was going on up there.
I'll climb up and take a look.
Excellent idea.
And then we took the rope and
we put it around and around...
How's it going? Oh, great.
You know, that doctor's a
lot smarter than he looks.
Thank heaven.
Pugsley's past the crisis.
Doctor, is everything all right?
Naturally.
All that had to be done was to
release the boy's inner antagonisms.
See, Morticia?
Pugsley's come through.
Magnificently.
Once again, he's the
wonderful boy you both loved.
Oh, thank heaven.
Now I can get rid of
all this ridiculous mess.
By all means do.
Get your house back to normal.
Thank you so much, Doctor.
Goodbye, Mrs. Addams. Goodbye.
You uncles.
You pamper the children
worse than the parents do.
Ah, here's a surprise.
It says Dr. Black has quit.
Quit? Why?
Going back to school.
Oh.
I think we should
send him a present.
The turtle.
Oh, something better than that.
Better than the turtle?
After all, he did
give us our boy back.
and they're kooky
♪ Mysterious and spooky
♪ They're altogether ooky
♪ The Addams family
♪ The house is a museum
♪ When people come to see 'em
♪ They really are a scream
♪ The Addams family
Neat.
Sweet.
Petite.
♪ So get a witch's shawl on
♪ A broomstick you can crawl on
♪ We're gonna pay a call on
♪ The Addams family ♪
It's unbelievable.
Our own son.
He was always such a good boy.
Keeping to the basement,
playing with his octopus.
It's terrible.
You... You must do
something about it.
After all, darling, the
Addams family honor.
You're right. Family honor.
Thank you, Thing.
It's worse than I
thought. He's wearing it.
I don't believe it.
I want to see it
with my own eyes.
We've lost him.
Can I look, Mother?
Certainly not.
Grandmama, take her to her room.
I can't stand
these weird things.
I'm gonna sit in my tree
house and watch the lightning.
Our poor boy.
Something's come over him.
What are we going to do?
Darling, I must
have time to think.
After all, this isn't
some boyish prank
like setting the house on fire.
You've spoiled the boy,
that's what you've done.
How?
How?
Well, what other boy
has a playroom like this?
I don't see any harm
in a few simple toys.
You call this rack a simple toy?
Why, this is
luxury, pure luxury.
And how about this battle-ax?
It was the boy's fifth birthday,
and he was so
tired of his blowgun.
Oh, fine.
You know, my father
wouldn't even let me
touch one of these
until I was eight.
You know, I didn't become
what I am by accident.
I had upbringing like no other.
Like no other.
Eight years old.
And how old was he when
you gave him this little toy?
That's not Pugsley's,
that's little Wednesday's.
Oh, Wednesday's. You're
gonna spoil her, too, huh?
Perhaps we have been
pampering them too much.
Well, there's really
nothing to worry about.
Oh, yes, there is.
A 10-year-old boy sneaking
around in a Boy Scout uniform.
Darling, there's something I was
hoping I wouldn't have to tell you.
The other afternoon I saw
Pugsley playing with a bat.
A bat? Oh, well,
that's more like our boy.
A baseball bat.
It's a game played
outdoors. In the sun.
Oh, no.
You know what I think?
The boy needs help.
No, tomorrow's another day.
We'll bide our time.
Maybe he'll come out of it.
Perhaps you're right.
We can only hope.
Let's go upstairs to bed.
Why, thank you, Thing.
Thank heaven
Thing is still normal.
Come along, darling, I want
to show you my new nightgown.
Do you like it? Adore it.
Tish, let's go down to the cave.
Oh, that we save for
special occasions, bubele.
You know what you do
when you call me that.
Well, it just slipped out.
Now control yourself, Gomez.
I'll try.
Let me do that. You
did mine last night.
Oh, that scent's beautiful.
Buy a barrel of it.
That's the only way it comes.
Darling, I'm sorry,
I just can't think of anything
tonight except our poor Pugsley.
I understand.
Who'd ever thought we'd
have a problem child?
I wonder if blondes
do have more fun.
Watch it, Tish. Watch it!
Wonderful.
For a minute there I
thought I was going to miss.
I love to watch you
play with these trains.
It brings out the real you.
It's not the same
without little Pugsley.
He's a great train wrecker.
It's a shame to see
natural talent go to waste.
Tish, would you like to
see me blow up three trains?
Oh, darling, you know I would.
But I have to fix your lunch.
We're having your
favorite, eye of newt.
Broiled.
Just a minute, Son.
What's the hurry?
I've got things
to do. I gotta go.
But you forgot
to feed Aristotle.
Gomez,
have you noticed how Pugsley's
been ignoring poor Aristotle lately?
Well, he does look a little
pale around the tentacles.
Look at those sad eyes.
I wonder where he
went in such a hurry.
Oh, I do hope he
went to the mineshaft.
The dankness
does things for him.
Gomez!
What is it?
He's out there
playing with an it.
Maybe it's a baby armadillo.
Please, let's not pretend.
We all know what it is.
It's a P-U-P-P-Y.
Lurch.
You rang?
Go get Pugsley and
take him to his room.
I wanna have a talk with him.
He's out there
playing with... I know.
Well, maybe we could all
learn to love the little P-U-P-P-Y.
Uncle Fester, go to your room.
Come with me.
I can't right now.
May I come in, Son?
Just a second.
I hope I'm not interrupting.
No, I wasn't doing
anything special.
Good, I thought
we'd have a chat.
May be a little difficult
for you to realize, Pugsley,
but I was once a boy your age.
It is a little hard to
think of you at 10.
Oh, I was a typical child.
Faced with all the
typical temptations.
The important thing, Pugsley,
is for a boy not to
take a wrong turn.
I'll never forget
when I was a boy,
I stood in front of
Bailey's department store,
admiring a display of gaudy
uniforms, mess kits, pup tents,
those fat little knives.
I often wondered what
would have happened
if I had tied that first knot.
Gosh, Dad, you might have
ended up as a Scoutmaster.
Boy, you're sicker
than I thought.
Don't you realize that all he's
going to grow up to be is a dog?
Oh, it went that badly, dear?
Terrible.
He even called me "Dad."
Thank heaven he's
never called me "Mom."
First serious talk I've had
with the lad and I botched it.
Where did we fail, Gomez?
Who knows?
I have it. He's still a baby.
Tonight when I tuck him in,
I'll read him something
nice and soothing.
"Once upon a midnight dreary
"While I pondered,
weak and weary
"Over many a quaint and
curious volume of forgotten lore
"While I nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly there
came a tapping..."
Pugsley, darling,
you're not listening.
The Raven was always
one of your favorites.
You said it made you
feel so nice and cozy.
I like it all right.
I've just got other
things on my mind.
Mother knows.
She knows when
her little boy is upset.
I'm not upset.
But you are, darling,
you're all flushed.
Lost your lovely pallor.
Now, why don't you put all these
strange thoughts out of your mind?
I'll get your alligator.
Oh.
Oh, you poor dear.
"Plumbers, proxy solicitors,
"psychologist, child."
Morticia, must we?
Darling, we need
help. Dr. Black.
Black?
Well, at least he
sounds friendly.
5432...
I can see she has
a real problem.
It's not Mrs. Addams.
Oh.
It's his problem.
It's our Pugsley.
What is a Pugsley?
Pugsley is our son.
Oh, a child problem.
I've got one of my own.
No wonder you two look so...
You should see how my
wife and I look some days.
I'll never forget...
Just what seems
to be the trouble?
Well, in the first place,
it's those terrible clothes
he's been wearing.
Uh-huh, beatnik.
That wouldn't be bad.
Really?
But on top of that he's
suddenly attached himself
to the strangest creature.
A girl?
An animal.
The retreat-to-the-forest
syndrome.
They all go through
these things.
We never did.
Believe me, most parents
have the same problem.
Weird clothes and strange pets,
all bidding for more attention.
Well, give him a little more.
Cater to his childish whims.
Cater to such outrageous
behavior? Mmm-hmm.
And in a few days, you'll
have your boy back again.
Well.
Thank you, Doctor.
You modern psychologists
certainly have a way of
getting to the heart of things.
We do, don't we?
Yes. Oh, come here, darling.
You want to see me, Mom?
Yes, I always want
to see you, darling.
What's closer in this world
than a boy and his mother?
A boy and his octopus?
Maybe. Would you like
to help me feed Cleopatra?
I can't, Mom. I have
to go up and read.
Now, now, Cleopatra.
Mind your manners, darling.
What is it you're
reading, darling?
"How to Become an Eagle Scout."
Oh, is that about an eagle
who carries off a scout?
Don't think so.
Well, read what
you please, dear.
Oh, I see you have on
your lovely neckerchief.
May I try it on?
Sure.
Now I have to go up
and read my manual.
Keep the neckerchief,
Mother, I'll get another.
Oh, Cleopatra, there is
real tragedy in this house.
Put them back,
Lurch. Doctor's orders.
We must cater to his every
whim until this phase passes.
Where did you find him?
He was out in front of
the house in that uniform,
helping an old lady
across the street.
Aren't you gonna punish him?
For what?
The things kids
get away with today.
Pugsley, that's certainly
a smart-looking uniform.
Mind if I try on the hat?
Gosh, no, Dad.
How do I look? Sharp.
Been a long time
since you and I have
had a real romp with the trains.
Lately we haven't had a chance
to be together much, have we?
Guess not.
Remember how we always used
to enjoy blowing up the bridge?
Today I've got dynamite under
the bridge and the water tower.
You do?
Next time she comes around,
you grab the plunger and let her rip.
All right, here she
comes. Got the plunger?
4, 3, 2, 1, now!
I'm sorry, Dad, I'm
just not in the mood.
Morticia, I failed again.
We've both failed.
We've lost touch with him.
Maybe we were thoughtless.
That summer we were too busy
to go into the bat cave with him.
Now he throws balls at them.
Dr. Black, I'm just
afraid it's an emergency.
You're going to
have to come over.
But we did do as you suggested.
We have catered to his whims.
We have paid attention to him.
But it just doesn't do any good.
You have no idea
the strange things
he's been bringing
into this house.
You're just going to
have to come over.
Dr. Black, I'm so
glad you're here.
We've been at our wits'
end over our Pugsley.
Just look at this mess.
I can see your problem.
Isn't this sickening?
Ghastly.
You told us to cater to him.
Well, this is the result.
Horrible.
I guess I am partly to blame,
but I think you
went a little too far.
Much too far.
As a matter of fact, this is the
most extreme case of over-catering
I've ever seen.
Oh, Dr. Black, this is
Pugsley's uncle, Fester.
How do you... do?
I see you've been
catering to the boy, too.
And how.
Excuse me, those, uh,
those things you're carrying...
I'm taking them up
to Pugsley's room.
Aren't they dangerously
large firecrackers for a boy?
Oh, they're not firecrackers,
they're dynamite.
Uh, Mrs. Addams, I know I'm
responsible for what's going on here,
but I'm afraid things have
gotten too far out of hand.
I better take over.
I think I'll go up and have a
talk with the boy. Very well.
It's the door at the
head of the stairs,
the one with the baby
vultures painted on it.
Oh, come on, Pugsley,
let's have a blast,
just for old times' sake, huh?
Who is it?
It's Dr. Black, sonny.
Your mommy asked me
to have a little chat with you.
Come in, sir.
I, uh, I think you've
done more than your part.
I'll take it from here.
Good luck.
You, uh, you really like the
way your Uncle Fester looks?
Oh, sure. He looks fine.
I can see we're going to
have to have quite a chat.
What's going on? He's up there.
With Pugsley? Yes.
Oh, dear.
Maybe we shouldn't have taken
his ax away when he was a baby.
He seemed so happy
chopping up things.
And it was good exercise.
Wish I knew what
was going on up there.
I'll climb up and take a look.
Excellent idea.
And then we took the rope and
we put it around and around...
How's it going? Oh, great.
You know, that doctor's a
lot smarter than he looks.
Thank heaven.
Pugsley's past the crisis.
Doctor, is everything all right?
Naturally.
All that had to be done was to
release the boy's inner antagonisms.
See, Morticia?
Pugsley's come through.
Magnificently.
Once again, he's the
wonderful boy you both loved.
Oh, thank heaven.
Now I can get rid of
all this ridiculous mess.
By all means do.
Get your house back to normal.
Thank you so much, Doctor.
Goodbye, Mrs. Addams. Goodbye.
You uncles.
You pamper the children
worse than the parents do.
Ah, here's a surprise.
It says Dr. Black has quit.
Quit? Why?
Going back to school.
Oh.
I think we should
send him a present.
The turtle.
Oh, something better than that.
Better than the turtle?
After all, he did
give us our boy back.