The A-Team (1983–1987): Season 1, Episode 9 - West Coast Turnaround - full transcript

Lynch seems to think this Amy Allen
might be working with the A-Team.

The A-Team?

Ya-hoo!

That-a-boy, Murdock!

I love to crash parties.

If that's Murdock, I'm not gettin'
in the air with that crazy sucker.

♪ Someday ♪

Looks like we're gonna crash.

Murdock crashed the
plane, didn't he?

Them guys back there
was hillbillies.

We ain't restin' until every one of 'em
trespassers are caught and punished.



Those guys could be
on us any minute.

I will bring back
reinforcements!

Probably be coming in by bus.

We are flying!

Beautiful.

Ten years ago, a crack commando unit was
sent to prison by a military court...

for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security
stockade to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government,
they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else
can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire...
the A-Team.

What are we doin' here?

What are we waitin' for?

Patience, B.A.



Face, hold still.

Boy, these mosquitoes
are killers.

- You get him?
- Yeah.

- Look at the size of that sucker.
- Unbelievable!

- Uh, do you know the words to...
- What?

♪ You are my sunshine
my only sunshine ♪

♪ You make me happy
when skies are grey ♪♪

Shut up! What's that noise?

- Sounds like a jeep.
- Sounds like a supercharged jeep.

Sounds like an aeroplane to me.

Uh, well, it's probably
the guerillas' aeroplane.

If that's Murdock, I'm not gettin'
in the air with that crazy sucker.

B.A., you really, really have to lighten
up on this paranoia you have about flying.

Hold still, B.A.

Got him! That's a monster!
Look at that.

Mmm!

- Thanks, Hannibal.
- It's okay, pal.

Right.

- Why does he always fall on the horn?
- Beats me.

Shall we?

I love to crash parties.

Is he down yet?

Almost.

That-a-boy, Murdock!

Ladies and gentlemen...

the captain has just turned on the "no smoking" and
"fasten your seat belt" sign for taxiing and take-off.

Please make sure that your seats are
in the upright and forward position...

and that your table trays are
secured in front of you.

Please sit back and
enjoy your flight.

Let's go, Murdock!

Ya-hoo!

Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah!

Speak of the devil.
This is Amy Allen.

Hi. I'm Mitchell Barnes, U.P.I.

Mitch just got back from
covering the crisis in Lebanon.

He'll be in L.A. for
a couple of days...

and, uh, he wanted to meet the person who
filed the story on the Jamestown incident.

Excellent, excellent example...

- of infield journalistic investigative technique.
- Of what?

Reminded me a lot of that story I filed from
Belgrade in '71. You happen to read that?

Ran in Time, Newsweek, Life.

I might have. I was a sophomore
in high school at the time.

I'd love to compare
battle notes with you.

- What do you say we grab a bite to eat before we hit the Law Spa?
- The what?

The Law Spa. That's what we wiremen call
the courtrooms. Kind of catchy, huh?

Mitch wants to sit in on the Caldwell murder
trial. You're covering that, aren't you?

Well, yeah, but the trial
was moved back until 4:00.

- Actually, I can't this afternoon.
- You"ve got nothing to say about it. It's settled.

- Mitch, talk to you later. Okay?
- Do you have a phone I could use?

- Uh, yeah, on that desk right over there.
- Oh, thanks.

This is Captain Stewart. Go.

I've hooked up with the skirt.
We're comin' out.

- You guys are really gonna owe me one for this.
- Barnes, we've played ball before.

Personally, I think it's a long shot, but Lynch seems to
think this Amy Allen might be working with the A-Team.

- She hired 'em once.
- Maybe he's right.

If I were working on a story like the A-Team, I wouldn't
give it up either. Bet your captain's bars on it.

You've got the tailing device, so stick
with her. We'll be about a block back.

- Time's a-wasting.
- Okay.

Face, I can't believe it.

That was the sloppiest, most
unprofessional job I've ever seen you do.

I did the best I could. I got you through
Customs and over to the church, didn't I?

- But why wasn't the bridge dynamited?
- Ah, well...

Now, look, kid. I like a little shoot-'em-up
now and then. It keeps the adrenaline going.

But it was not part of
my plan to be chased...

by the Guatemalan
army to the airport.

Oh, the archbishop's
gonna be real happy.

We got him his money back.

That'll teach the government to try and
throw the clergy out of the country...

and then steal their
building-fund money.

Yeah. You do have a point there.

I like working for the
church now and then.

Insurance against Judgement Day.

Knock it off, you guys!

Uh...

are you having a
problem, Murdock?

Well, it's hard to
tell with these.

With these? What do you
mean, "with these"?

- Where'd you get this plane, Face?
- Face didn't scam it. I did.

- What?
- Well, I-I had to con the passport people.

Okay. Murdock, where
did you get this bird?

I clipped it off of the
rental plane repair line.

It would be ridiculous for me
to assume that it'd been fixed.

Of course it wasn't fixed. They start
to miss 'em once they've been fixed.

- You gotta get 'em before they're fixed.
- Of course.

Uh, Murdock? What's
gonna happen?

- Looks like we're gonna crash.
- No, come on, really. What's gonna happen?

- It looks like we're gonna crash and die.
- I'll get the parachute.

Four thousand feet and dropping.

This thing's got the glide
characteristics of a free-falling safe.

- Where are we, Murdock?
- I don't know. Somewhere in South Carolina.

Uh, I think. I've been
dead reckoning it.

This funny little thing that
points and spins ain't workin'.

There's just one parachute.
I'll jump and go for help.

Too low, too late to jump.

- He got this plane off a repair line?
- Okay!

Find a comfy little
spot and hold on!

Ladies and gentlemen, that
concludes your flight.

Thank you for flying Miracle Airlines, the
only airline where Lady Luck is your co-pilot.

Easy for you to laugh.

We're probably the only guys to
survive an aeroplane crash...

only to be killed minutes
later by an irate passenger.

Another satisfied customer.
See, he's not complaining.

- Here we go. One, two, three!
- Two, three!

Oh! I got him, I got
him, I got him.

Hang on to him a second.

- Anybody know how much this man weighs?
- God, man! He's heavy!

- I ain't knockin' him out no more.
- This is the last time I'm carrying him.

You think it's easy on this end? I got
200 pounds of gold pullin' me down.

Maybe it would help if we
took the jewellery off.

No. Can't. I think he's got it
hooked up to a burglar alarm.

Put me down! Put me down!
Put me down!

Put me down! Put me down.

Face, check the rear, see if
we lost those guerrillas.

Lost them? Where are we?

They've been following
us for two hours.

It's all clear...
for now, Colonel...

but those guerrillas are tricky.

- They could be flanking us up on that ridge there.
- Sergeant, how're you feeling?

Boy, that concussion grenade...

almost put your lights
out for good, man.

Concussion? Grenade?

All I remember is being
bit by a mosquito.

- Where did you come from?
- When I get that figured out, I can drop out of analysis.

- Face, take the point.
- Anybody want to switch?

Face!

B.A., take the rear.
Murdock, follow me.

This don't look like
Guatemala to me!

Well, it ain't South Carolina.

- Pine trees? - South American
Chi-Chi trees, but they're related.

We decide how much we pay you.

Let me tell you something, mister.
We got a code among us.

We got no time for folks who
don't respect our rules.

- Ain't that right, boys?
- Right. We got a code.

It's all agreed, now.

- Fire him up, boys!
- Yeah! Yeah!

Are they doing what I
think they're doing?

Are they burning that
guy at the stake?

Since we don't know what's going
on, let's run these guys off.

Besides... Baby's a
little low on ammo.

B.A., take the right flank.

Face, take the left.

Murdock...

cover the rear.

What are you fellas doin'?
You havin' a cookout?

Kill him!

Return fire!

Get out of here or
you're all dead!

Let's get out of here!

- B.A., you all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay!

- Murdock?
- Yeah. I'm okay!

Face?

Face!

His position's been overrun.
Those men are after him.

Okay. Let's get this guy down.

- Give me a hand, Murdock. B.A.
- Okay.

- You got him?
- Yeah.

- Ammo report.
- I'm out.

- I've got five rounds left in my. 45.
- I got three rounds left in my. 45. My rifle's empty.

Okay, let's get
back to the plane.

- Plane? What plane?
- Sergeant, grab Baby.

Bring up the rear.

Stay in tight,
Murdock, on the point.

- Hello.
- Get up.

Well, I, uh... I
guess you caught me.

We ain't restin' until every one of 'em
trespassers are caught and punished.

Every one of'em.

Murdock, give me a hand.

See if we can get him under
this tail section here.

We gotta set up a perimeter.

Murdock, get some shrouds off that
parachute. Set up some trip wires.

We ain't in Guatemala no more.

Them guys back there
was hillbillies.

Murdock crashed the
plane, didn't he?

No! No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

I simply relocated the aircraft
with extreme prejudice...

because of a total loss of
thrust and lift functions!

- You crashed it, sucker!
- Sergeant!

Now, we did put you
aboard this plane.

You were unconscious because we took
a hit on that truck in Guatemala.

Now, Murdock risked his life
and flew in and rescued us.

- I should be given a medal.
- You're both gonna eat medals. I die before I fly!

Put it on hold, Sergeant! I'm not gonna
stand around and argue. This man is dying!

I don't like you guys
always lying to me, man.

Now, we don't always
lie to you, B.A.

That isn't fair,
and you know it.

Boy, that was close.

Those Guatemalan hill troops
are real tough customers.

- What's up?
- I'll tell you what's up.

I know you guys lied to me. I
know you put me on an aeroplane.

And I know Murdock crashed it.

B.A. Baracus gonna take that lie out
of each and every one of your hides.

B.A., you got something there.
Murdock.

Better get those trip wires out, and
don't forget the last belt for the M-60.

Those guys could be
on us any minute.

This plane sticks out like
a fly on a wedding cake.

B.A., you better watch
our back trail.

I wonder what they got
against this guy.

"James McDonald...

age 54."

- He's got three kids.
- This guy works for the county.

Here's a surveyor's map. They're
gonna put a highway in up here.

Murdock, come here.

Can you make any
sense out of this?

Yeah. Yeah. That's the
peak right there.

That's the one we barely
missed when we came in.

And we almost hit that
summit right there.

We're surrounded by mountains.

Okay, we can climb over
'em and leave him here...

or we can stay here and
try and keep him alive.

- We never left any wounded back in 'Nam, Colonel.
- That's right.

Okay.

We stay.

Uh, Hannibal, how are we gonna
get this guy outta here?

They show movies at the
hospital every Thursday night.

We get old ones mostly, but some...
some are all right, you know?

Look, Murdock! I'm on a real short leash here,
and I'm getting tired of your crazy rap!

Flight of the Phoenix. Last Thursday
night they showed Flight of the Phoenix.

These guys crash in the desert, and they
fix their aircraft by redesigning it.

Will you let go of my arm
before I get gangrene! Man!

I could design an ultralight.

It's like a hang
glider with a motor.

Seats two. I could fly out of here with
our patient. You guys could take off.

- A motor?
- Yeah.

- How long would it take?
- Depends on how long it takes to get what I need.

- With wings?
- Flap, flap.

Just like 'Nam.

And 'Nam was no
picnic, believe me."

There I was, perched between the U.S.
bunkers and Charlie.

There were weapons and
bullets everywhere.

I know what you're saying.
"This guy is crazy."

But my answer to that is, if you're
gonna cover a war, you cover a war.

I would've stayed to the bitter end, but my
boss wanted me to cover the Middle East.

But I guarantee you, by then I saw more
action than 90 percent of the G.I.s.

- Really?
- By the way, who are these friends you're meeting?

- Oh, nobody newsworthy.
- Hmm.

So that's how I came to be in the
Middle East for the Six-Day War.

Six days? I made it a full week.

I knew every tollbooth from
Kangnung to the 40th parallel.

And they weren't taking
tokens, believe me.

I mean, your life wasn't worth a dime
out there. We're talkin' survival here.

You gotta know, the regular troops figured
that if my porch light wasn't out...

it was at least blinking.

But I knew the stories were hidden in
that jungle, and I had to find 'em.

Is that so?

Is this where we're
picking up your friends?

Guess they're not on time.

- What was their E.T.A.?
- Around now.

Huh. Gee, it doesn't even look
like there's anybody here to ask.

Well, let's wait a while. I mean, they're
always a little bit late anyway.

Maybe they got
into some trouble.

Hey, Face. Come here.

"Two 10-inch wheels.

- A 10, uh... "What?"
- Horsie power.

"Horsie power engine. Three
bolts of industrial silk."

- Are you nuts?
- Absolutely and totally.

How am I gonna get all this
stuff in the middle of nowhere?

- You always say you can get anything,
anywhere, anytime, - Yeah, but...

Think of it as a challenge. How did you get
that '53 Cadillac in the jungles of 'Nam?

How did you get that '53
Cadillac in the jungles of 'Nam?

Professional secret.

Of course, he was a
lot younger then.

Industrial silk.

The guy is absolutely
incredible.

- Come on, mudsucker. Get up and get going.
- Sucker...

B.A., get a blanket and cover this guy.
His temperature's really droppin' fast.

Okay, Murdock.

I'm gonna take our little country
cousins on a decoy operation...

lead 'em away from here
as far as I can...

buy some time.

They're used to huntin' rabbits.

Let's see how they do with
a wolf that bites back.

You see, I have what you
call your nose for news.

That's why I was there when Big Daddy
Amin pulled off his coup in Uganda.

- I was there when the shah took his hike from Iran.
- No need to wait here any longer.

Don't think I was just looking
for a spa in Czechoslovakia...

when the big red machine
came over the border.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Hold it!

Why, you're a priest!

I'm sorry...

but I can't keep from laughing whenever
I hear that term applied to me.

- You ain't a priest?
- Ah, I don't know what I am.

Why does life have to be
so hard for some of us?

All my life, I-I've dedicated
myself to the Lord...

only to wake up one morning and
discover I have no inner peace...

no tranquillity in my soul...

no... no faith.

Mister, are you all right?
Maybe you oughta sit down.

You're such a sweet soul.

So innocent and... pretty.

Just like... Mary Ann.

- Mary Ann?
- Mmm.

- My name's Louanne.
- Really?

You know, I've always been kind
of fascinated with priests...

because they aren't allowed...

I mean, they don't...

Ah, but sometimes... they do.

Oh, no! You and Mary Ann?

Sometimes the runner stumbles.

Oh, Father, I'm truly sorry.

What can I do to help?

Well... would you happen
to have a gasoline engine?

Gasoline engine?

You know, for my
power lawn mower.

You want a power lawn mower?

Well, yes. You see, I feel that if I could
put my garden in order once again...

then it would be akin to putting
my internal house in order...

and I'd have a chance
at another beginning.

Hmm, we don't have
a lawn mower...

- but we do have a power seeding machine.
- Perfect.

This is the seeding machine. We're
not gonna need it till next month.

It's, uh, just what
I had in mind.

Actually, all I need to borrow is
the, uh, engine and the wheels.

How you gonna do your plantin' if
you don't take the whole thing?

Oh! Oh, I forgot to tell you.

I have a seeder. See,
I just lack parts.

It would be very selfish to
borrow what I don't really need.

- Waste not, want not.
- Whatever you say.

I know it sounds silly, but, Louanne,
you must... you must understand.

I am a lost sheep...

and you... you've helped
me to find my way.

You can't put the rudder
on before the elevator.

- Man, ain't nothin' I can't do.
- Look, I'm the supervisor here.

You ain't nothin' but a
nut that know how to fly.

You know, B.A., this bickering
is so counterproductive.

I think that now we're out here alone, just you and
me, takin' on the elements, trying to survive...

that this would be
a good time to...

It's Hannibal. It's
okay, muchacho.

What took you so long?

I bought us some time,
like I said I would.

This thing is supposed to fly?

I've got no fear. I'll go up in
anything except an elevator.

Where are they?

I left 'em in a canyon
up east of here.

There's more than we thought...
about 20 of them.

B.A., you know those flares
we got aboard the plane?

You think you could put those together with a... maybe
a pipe from the hydraulic system on the brakes...

and get us some firepower?

Right, right. No
problem, Colonel.

B.A., there's an old saying... "The
best defense is a good offense."

You got that wrong, man.

A good offense is
the best defense.

Okay. Have it your way.

Thanks. Thanks.

- What now?
- I have somebody I have to look in on.

Okay. Where are we going?

I'll let it be a surprise.

So this is an insane asylum.

I always wanted to do an
in-depth on a bin like this.

I visited one once in Germany...
the Freudian Institute.

Met a guy who thought he
was Douglas Fairbanks.

Shell-shocked. War's
unmerciful to the mind.

- Mitch, I think I should go in alone. You know what I mean?
- No sweat. I understand.

It's not easy having complete strangers
watch your loved ones bounce off the walls.

- Hang tough. I'll be out here if you need me.
- Thanks.

Murdock.

An answering machine.

Hi, y'all. Howling Mad
here in voice only.

This time my body has
split, along with my mind.

So at the tone, leave your name and the message, and I'll
get back to you as soon as my shock therapy's over. Bye.

What are you doing inside? You
want her to spot us here together?

Not that it matters much. I don't think she
has anything to do with this A-Team any more.

- Wrong. Then what is she doing here checking in with H.M. Murdock?
- It's in her files.

She's remained friendly with him ever since a
while ago when she tried to contact the A-Team.

Look, she's a good kid. She just
probably feels bad for the guy.

Look, she...

Great! Now we've
lost our bird dog.

Wrong. The tailing device
is still in the car.

And working.

This thing is never gonna work.

Hey, you want to
give me a hand here?

Pays to stay fit.

So you found us a
wheel and a motor.

That's right.

Not a five-horse, not a
seven-and-a-half horse...

but a 10-horse, air-cooled
gasoline motor, as ordered.

Face, I don't know how you do
it, but you sure do it good.

Well, look, you give me
a job to do, I do it.

I pool my resources, I consider
my options and then I go for it.

Sure, it's not easy. There
are risks, but I take 'em.

- What was her name?
- Louanne.

- That preacher was workin'
with them city boys.

- He helped them steal our prisoner.
- No!

He said he was plantin' a garden and
that he needed parts for his seeder.

He said that he was
becomin' a lost sheep.

- All right. We're goin'.
- Where?

To help the reverend find God.

Red Carpet Flight 86 now
ready for boarding.

All passengers holding tickets
will now be on board.

You got some structural
weakness in the wing struts...

and they won't hold if you
start any of your aerobatics.

Remember, keep an eye on the silks.
If it starts to shred, take it down.

I didn't know you
cared, sweetheart.

Thanks, B.A.

Don't thank me.

Just keep it out of the trees.

Get this bird off the ground.
That guy's sweatin' bullets.

I will find
civilization, muchacho!

I will bring back reinforcements! What on
earth will you be doing while I'm gone?

Just guess, Murdock. Just guess.

Oops!

Beautiful!

That man is crazy.

Yeah, but it's a
good kind of crazy.

Whoo-hoo! We are flying!

♪ Someday the birds
will come to me ♪

♪ Someday the birds
will say I'm free ♪

♪ Someday the birds
will sing my song ♪

♪ Someday the birds
will come along ♪♪

You're gonna be okay, Pop.

We're gonna get you
there in no time.

Uh, hang on, Lucy.
I'm comin' around.

I know you're only pretending
to have your eyes shut!

But it doesn't matter anyway 'cause
it's gonna be a rough landing.

Keep your arms in and don't
put your feet over the side.

I think I see the landing strip.

There it is!

I think we're gonna
come in safely.

Just hold your breath, Pop.
We're on our way down.

And with a...

we are gonna manipulate this son of
a gun into the correct position.

Tighten your seat belts!
Secure your trays!

Blah, blah, blah!
I am coming down!

Oops! Pay no attention
to that rip!

Air goes through that like
water through my nose!

We are just 20 feet, Pop!
Twenty feet!

And we have... landed!

Whoo! Phew.

Help me! Help me! I got a sick man here!
I gotta get him to the hospital!

There's a hospital about a mile and
a half down the road in Fulton.

Best way is to put him in my
four-wheel drive and take him on down.

What the heck happened
to him anyway?

You've got some guys with white eyeballs
living on the other side of that ridge!

I've seen some crazy
guys in my time.

I've been in a whole ward full of them,
but I've never seen anybody like those.

- They did that to him?
- Well, it wasn't a grey, furry squirrel with a shotgun!

Now get! Get! Before he croaks!

I'm on my way.

By the way...

would you mind awfully if I
borrowed your shiny little chopper?

Absolutely not! No problem, pal.

Well, that's very kind of you. I'll
certainly take good care of it.

You Americans certainly know how to take
care of your friends from across the sea.

Have you had dinner yet, by the way, pal?
Maybe we could get together...

All right. Now we
know where they is.

There's that plane crashed
up yonder in the holler...

the one Zeb saw from the hills.

We're gonna spread out and
come in on 'em from all sides.

There he is! Let's get him!

Get him! Kill him!
Get to the cars.

Now, Face!

Now, B.A.!

I've had enough of this.
Let's get out of here.

Ain't nobody around here.

We'll just close off this valley.
We'll find them sooner or later.

Whaa!

Drop 'em!

Do it now!

Or the next one won't
be over your heads!

Everybody in the aeroplane!

Now, close that door!

Anybody sticks their head out...

loses everything!

- How come you put 'em in there?
- Because I'm out of ammunition.

The guy they tried to kill
is with the road department.

We'll hold these fellas down till
you can come out and arrest them.

Don't you love it? They're in there
worried we're gonna kill 'em.

And we're out here with no ammo.

Hannibal, sometimes I think
you're crazier than Murdock.

Sometimes I am.

All right, that must be it.

Come on. Let's go.
Inside. Come on!

Will Colonel Lynch please check
at the reservation desk, please?

- Colonel Lynch, please check at the reservation desk.
- M.P.s.

Hey, man. In or out. I gotta
take this bus in to be cleaned.

Amy must have paged Lynch to warn us.
Good girl.

I wonder how long they
been following her.

Well, if it was since this morning
and if we'd been on schedule...

we'd have landed right
in Lynch's military lap.

- That means we're pretty lucky we crashed!
- Ohh!

I love it when a
plan comes together.