That Girl (1966–1971): Season 5, Episode 12 - That Señorita - full transcript

Ann is excited to be performing in a new Broadway revue. Her specific sketch is a comic one where she portrays a Mexican woman complete with Spanish accent and Mexican stereotypical behavior. What she is unaware of is that a lobby group, calling itself Dignitales (Spanish for Dignities), is trying to have that sketch taken out of the show for its offensive nature. The producer, George Phillips, refuses their demands. What they are all unaware of is that Felix, Ann's leading man, is also part of Dignitales, he doing whatever he can from behind the scenes to have the sketch removed from the show, or at least have it changed so that he and other Mexicans would not be offended by it. When Ann learns about the group and Felix's involvement in it, Ann, who agrees with their stance after hearing the arguments, has to decide what to do. On the one hand, she now agrees that the sketch is offensive. On the other hand, she has signed a contract and as an actress she feels compelled to do her best to make the show a success by following guidance of the director.

You are lovely.

Sí. Sí.

You are charming.

Sí. Sí.

You are warm,
good and sympática.

"Sí. Sí."

[Man] And what do
you say about me?

"You are also a sí, sí."

No, no. No, no, no.

"Sí sí."

Say, "You are also a sí sí."



Uh, well, thank you
very much, Miss Barnett.

We'll get in touch with your agent,
and when we do, we'll keep you in...

I also do Russian and
German dialects and water talk.

- "Water talk"?
- Uh-huh. You know.

[bubbling sound]
Hello. How are you?

Would you like to
meet my brother?

That's marvelous.
Truly marvelous.

We'll keep you in mind
for the Moby Dick sketch.

Thank you very
much, Miss Barnett.

- [bubbling sound] Good-bye.
- Bye.

[sighs]

We may have to drop
the sketch after all.

- Anyone else out there?
- There's one more girl. Ann Marie.

- All right. Bring her in.
- Uh-huh.



Uh, Miss Marie. Step
right in, Miss Marie.

Hi. I'm Fred
Thompson, the director,

and this is George
Phillips, the producer.

[Spanish accent] Buenos diás,
señora. I am pleased to meet you.

And hasta bananas to you, too.

[Fred] Good.

Oh, could we see your resumé?

Oh.

Seems she got the job.

Too bad.

Yes, it is.

Well, they may want her,

but this sketch will never
be performed by that girl.

♪ Diamonds,
daisies, snowflakes ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Chestnuts,
rainbows, springtime ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She spins a lot of dreams ♪

♪ She's everything that
every girl should be ♪

♪ Sable, popcorn, white wine ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Gingham, bluebirds, Broadway ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She's mine alone,
but luckily for you ♪

♪ If you find a girl to love ♪

♪ Only one girl to love ♪

♪ Then she'll be
That Girl, too ♪

That Girl!

- [Ann] Coming.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Before I come in, may I
demonstrate how smart I am?

Oh, thank heaven!

Finally a demonstration.

Proof at last after all these
years of being uncertain.

Go ahead.

I deduce

that the big surprise you
are going to tell me about

is that you got the job as
the senorita in the review.

Donald, how did you know?

Because it smells like Madrid
all the way into the street.

You're making Spanish
food, and you wouldn't be

if you didn't get the j...

Come in, smarty pantalones.

¿Cómo está, señor?

Muchas gracias.

That means "thank you."

You did get the part.

Sí, señor. A margarita.

Is that your name in the sketch?

No, Donald. That's
the name of a drink.

Oh, yeah. Right, right.
All right, fine. I'll have one.

[Spanish accent]
Ladies and gentlemen,

there are two ways
to drink the margarita.

- Numero uno...
- That means "thank you."

That means "number one."

"Muchas gracias"
means "thank you."

Numero uno: You take the glass.

- Glass.
- Glass.

- Salt.
- Salt.

- Lemon.
- Donald, get my television set.

- No, a real lemon.
- Oh, get your car.

- Senorita.
- Oh.

- Lemon.
- Lemon.

Okay. Now, you take the lemon,

you rub the lemon
around the lip of the glass.

- Glass.
- Senorita.

- Lip.
- Senorita.

- Rub.
- Silencio.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Now, you take the glass and
rub the lip of the glass in salt.

Add the tequila.

Add some ice.

- Muchas gracias.
- It's okay.

Now you take the margarita mix.

And what do we have here?

We have a margarita.

[Spanish]

Olé.

Oh! Mmm!

Thank you very much
for drinking it for me.

What are amigos for?

- Did I enjoy it?
- You want another one?

No. One is my limit.

And now, ladies and
gentlemen, for numero dos.

Number one!

"Numero uno" is "number one."

All right. Number two.

I think she's got it.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

my assistant,
Senorita Anna Maria,

will demonstrate.

Instead of taking
your lemon and salt

and putting it around the rim of
the glass, you take your tequila...

Take your tequila.

You take the margarita mix...

The margarita mix.

And to get the
flavor of the lemon...

The flavor of the lemon.

You suck on a lemon.

Oh, no. You suck on a lemon.

No. Please. I did numero uno.

You suck on a lemon.
Ladies and gentlemen,

Senorita Anna
Maria in numero dos!

I think I take a overdose.

Thank you.

It is all perfectly clear.

The rehearsals start tomorrow.

And we agreed to give the
producer his final chance.

No, no. We don't agree.

We're going to let
you have your way.

Carlos will speak to
him one more time,

but it's a waste.

He will not change his mind.

This producer...

He doesn't know you're a
member of the organization.

No, he doesn't. But he
will find out soon enough.

Let me ask you this.

Suppose after
Carlos speaks to him,

the producer refuses
to meet our demands?

Then I say we talk to the girl.

If she refuses to
join us, then we act.

Okay, Felix and Ann.

Felix and Ann, we're going
to do the Sunflower sketch.

- Oh, all right.
- Okay? All right. Let's go.

Kids, settle down, relax.

Let's give them all the
attention we can now.

Okay.

- Oh, uh, Anne?
- Yes?

Don't you need your script?

Oh, no. I think I've got
it. I can try it anyway.

Good girl. All set, Felix?

Yes, I'm all set.

What's the matter?
What do you need?

Nothing. I just don't see
the producer around here.

Well, he had some sort of a
meeting come up at the last minute.

But I'm sure I can qualify as
an audience, if you don't mind.

I'm sorry. I meant no offense.

That's all right.
Let's run it through.

[chuckles]

[clears throat]

Well, I have to leave
you now, my little rose,

my little sunflower,
my little goldenrod,

my little garden of daisies.

Will you miss me?

[Spanish accent] Sí.
Who will water me?

It is good that you make
light of this moment.

In a time like this, what
is better than a little joke,

a little smile?

A big laugh.

I might be killed
tomorrow in battle.

That is funny.

- You joke.
- No, I don't.

I think I'm going
to get the joke.

This knife will seal
us together for eternity.

Couldn't we just stick
together for ten minutes?

First I'm going
to cut your wrist,

then I'm going to cut mine, and we're
going to mingle our blood together.

My mother... she
doesn't like me to mingle.

First I'm going
to cut your wrist.

And now, as I
prepare to cut mine

and mingle part of
me with part of you,

I recall the many
hours we spent together,

the many moments I
looked into your eyes

and you looked into mine,

the many times we pressed
our love to one another,

the many hours we spent

planning a life of
beauty and love,

with children

and a house with
gardens and flowers

and just being together forever.

My flower.

My little rose.

My little garden of daisies.

I think I mowed my lawn.

[applause]

Great. Terrific.

How'd it come off?

Oh, the sketch is
going to be great.

By the way, how was, uh,
your meeting with those men?

Same as usual. I threw
them out of my office.

They had the nerve to demand
that I take out the Spanish sketch.

- And?
- Oh, we go ahead with it.

- How's the new girl?
- Oh, she's perfect.

- Miss Marie, you were great.
- Yes?

- Terrific, Felix.
- Oh, thank you.

- Thank you.
- Okay, everybody. Take five.

Thanks a lot. I couldn't
have done it without you.

Oh, don't thank me
yet. It needs much work.

If you were free tonight, we
could rehearse some more.

Oh, I am free. I'd love
to work on it some more.

- Oh, really?
- Yes.

Would you be too embarrassed
to come to my apartment?

Yes, I would.

Well, I mean, I am a
girl, after all, as you know.

Why don't you come to my place?

- Where is it?
- 627 East 54th.

- Oh, fine. I'll be there.
- Oh.

- 8:00 all right?
- That'd be great. Perfect.

- Shall I fix us something
to eat?
- No, no, no.

I don't think you
will feel like eating.

It's going to be a very
vigorous rehearsal.

- I promise you.
- Wonderful.

- What time is this guy
coming over?
- About 8:00.

Did you tell him I
was going to be here?

- No, I didn't think of it.
- [chuckling]

Boy, I must make
some huge impression.

No, I mean I never thought
of telling him about it.

I know that. I was
just being my funny self

in hopes that someday I
might become a comedian

and you'll invite me
to your apartment.

What are you talking about?

You think this guy is
coming up here to rehearse?

What's the matter with you?

Donald, what's the matter
with you, for heaven sakes?

He's a very nice man who just
wants to help me with my part.

Oh, boy. You are unbelievable.

A guy sees a pretty girl.

He talks her into inviting
him up to her apartment.

- You never heard
of things like that?
- Of course I have.

But I also happen to be a
very fine judge of people.

Yeah, well...

I know when people are being
nice to me and when they're not.

Yeah, well, I happen to
be a fine judge of men,

having been one
for several years.

And I'll bet you all the
money you have in the world

that when Mr. Show
Business arrives here,

he will not have a script
when I answer the door.

Oh, Donald, you are
bad. You really are bad.

Just because you're
a wild bachelor.

"A wild bachelor"?

I've been going with you
for the past four years.

How wild could I be?

As wild about me
as I am about you.

Good out.

[knocking on door]

- Who is it?
- Felix.

Ah-ah.

I'll get it.

Hi. I'm Don
Hollinger, her fiancé.

And you must be... Let me see.

Yes, I recognize you by
the script you don't have.

- You must be Felix.
- Mr. Hollinger.

Yes, Mr. Holli... Won't
you come in, please?

Thank you. We will.

"We"?

We.

Miss Marie, I would like
you to meet Raoul Garcia,

Rudy Sanchez.

Certainly. How do you
do, Raoul and Rudy?

I'm Ann and Don.
I'm Ann. He's Don.

Marie and Hollinger.
Marie, Hollinger.

- May we come in?
- Well...

Wait a minute.
What is it you want?

It was my understanding that
you were going to come here

to rehearse with Ann.

- Who are these men?
- Oh, Donald Hollinger,
Raoul and Rudy.

No, I know their names. I want
to know what they're doing here.

Well, that seems
like a fair question.

Nobody could get mad at a
question like that, right, Felix?

We are here to discuss
the rights of man,

individual dignity

and the Constitution
of the United States.

Now, look, if you
refuse to be serious...

That sounds serious, Donald.

Are you serious?

Yes, I am. Have you
ever heard of Dignidades?

- No.
- Yes.

Oh. You have? We have. He has.

In that case, you might
be familiar with our goals.

Yes, I am, and I support them.

In theory or practice?

Well, both, hopefully,

but I imagine not to my fullest
capabilities or awareness.

What's this all about? I
don't like being totally stupid.

- It's all right, sweetheart.
- What, that I'm totally st...

No, no, no. Gentlemen, come in.

Felix, you really are right.

- I never even thought...
- Of course not.

People don't think.

To them, the Mexican is always
the man with the funny accent

or the bank robber
or the lazy man,

but never a man with dignity.

That's why we formed this
organization... Dignidadas.

Which means "dignities."

You see, it is our purpose
to make people aware

of the indignities to which we
have been subjected in the past.

Oh, I agree. I really
do agree with you.

And I'm ashamed,
Donald. I really am.

Even for that silly party
we gave the other night.

Honey, throwing a party in
a Spanish motif is not this...

Well, it's not that. I
mean, the silly accents

and all the jokes
and everything.

We really didn't
mean any harm, Felix.

I know, Ann. But
that's not enough.

These are times of
convictions and actions.

Now you must do
something positive.

Well, I will. What can I do?

Well, we asked the
producer of the show to drop

the offensive Sunflower
sketch, and he refused.

Now you must
refuse to appear in it.

Refuse to... Donald?

Uh, Felix, she has a contract.

A contract? To insult a country?

And eight million Mexican-Americans
living in this country?

- [knocking on door]
- Who is it?

[Jerry, Spanish accent]
The kissing bandito.

Uh, uh, that's-that's
my neighbor.

Just a minute, Jerry.

He's a very lovely
fellow, really.

They had a baby recently.

It's a small child.

♪♪ [humming]

♪ Ay-yi-yi-yi ♪

♪♪ [humming]

♪ La la la la ♪

Olé!

Please, please, no
applause. No applause. No.

¿Cómo está? That
means "How are you?"

in e-Spanish.

Don't you habla at all?

How about suicide?
Would that help make up?

Oh, come on. We
know you feel bad.

Felix knows you didn't
really mean any harm by it.

But it sure makes you
think, doesn't it, Jerry?

Don't worry. No more
Latin lunacies from me.

- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night, Jerry.

Well, that takes care of him.

- How about you, Ann?
- Well, I was thinking, Felix.

Instead of just
quitting the show,

how about if I try and drop
the accent from the sketch?

Well, that wouldn't be bad.

But I don't know if the
director will let you do that.

Well, we'll certainly find
out tomorrow, won't we?

Yes, we will. Okay. Good night.

Thank you. Good night.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Buenas noches.
- Adios.

Oh, Donald, I
shouldn't have said that.

Okay, Felix and Ann, let's run
through the little Sunflower sketch.

Come on. Up on
stage. Let's go, kids.

I've got to get over to costume,
so just give me a final timing on this.

The kids know it, and it's fine.
Whenever you're ready, kids.

Right.

[clears throat]

I have to leave you now,

my little sunflower,

my little rose, my
little goldenrod,

my little garden of daisies.

Would you miss me?

[no accent] Yes.
Who will water me?

Oh, that's good.
It is very good.

Wrong. It is not good.

It is very bad. What
happened to the accent?

Well, you see, I-I just don't
think that we... we need...

Uh, I mean, I feel...

Wait a minute. She's right.

- I am?
- She is?

Of course. Save it.

I mean, you've got the accent
and the sketch down pat.

Save it for the show. No
sense in over-rehearsing.

Oh, no, no. That's not what I...

As a matter of fact, why don't
you both take the afternoon off?

You have my number
if anything comes up.

- Wait a minute.
- So long, kids.

Wait a second. I just
wanted... [stammering]

[door closes]

The show opens tomorrow
night. What am I going to do?

- What you think is right.
- You mean you won't help me?

I am helping you, honey.

To tell you what
to do is no help.

You have got to
decide this yourself.

Oh, Donald. If I do the sketch
without the accent, it's going to be bad.

I can't purposely ruin
a show. I'm an actress.

Then do the accent.

It's wrong, Donald. I
know it's wrong now.

It is insulting.

There you are.
That's the choice.

Yeah. It's sure
easy for you, isn't it?

Honey, in the first place,

if I were in your position,
it wouldn't be easy.

And in the second place,
seeing you in that position

doesn't make it easier.

Oh, Donald. I'm a
professional actress.

I can't either deliberately ruin
a play or disobey a director.

Then what do you do, honey?

Well, I guess I either

do it the way I'm
supposed to or just not at all.

Well, I think you
have another choice.

What?

Spend a little time thinking

if you think it's wrong
to do it with that accent.

You heard what Felix said.

I heard, but I have to think,

what is wrong with doing
a funny Spanish accent

if you don't mean
any harm by it?

Or if what you're
saying is not insulting?

Donald, are you
trying to tell me

that I should do the
sketch with the accent?

[chuckling] No. No, no, no.

I'm just presenting you with
ideas for you to consider.

Oh, fine, fine. You're
not telling me what to do.

You're letting me
make my own decision.

You're not treating me like a child.
You're treating me like a grown-up.

That's right.

How can you be so mean?

Tell wardrobe this will be okay.

- Mr. Thompson...
- Oh, hi, Ann.

What brings you back here?

Well, uh, I've been thinking.

I would very much like to do
the sketch without the accent.

I think it will be just
as funny without it.

Ann darling, do you have any idea the
trouble that sketch has caused me already?

I mean, with
meetings and threats.

I'm sorry. The
sketch stays as is.

I thought you might say
that. So let me just say this...

I don't want to hear
what you have to say.

I knew you were going to say
that, so let me just suggest...

I don't want to hear
any of your suggestions.

I was afraid you
were going to say that.

So, I... I can't do it that way.

- What?
- I just can't.

Need I remind you you do it
my way or you don't do it at all?

No, you don't have to remind me. I
was up half the night thinking about it.

The day before the
performance you tell me this.

I really am sorry.

No, you're going to be sorry.

I'm going to have you
thrown out of Equity.

You won't be allowed to perform
on a New York stage again,

and I'll ruin your name
in this business forever.

Perhaps you're angry.

Donald, the play
should be over by now.

The review should be on
the news in a few minutes.

- I'll turn it on.
- Okay.

But turn down the sound
till the reviewer comes on.

Honey, tell me something.

What made you decide
not to do the sketch?

Well, I don't know, Donald.

I really don't know.

Maybe tomorrow I'll
think I was all wrong.

I don't know.

Maybe it really isn't wrong

to talk with a funny
Spanish accent.

Maybe it isn't wrong to talk
with a funny Negro dialect

or a funny Jewish
or a French accent.

But whether it's right or wrong,
it really does offend people.

And I thought about it, Donald,

and in all honesty,
I had to admit

if I was Mexican
or Latin-American,

I wouldn't like it either.

So, whether I was right or
wrong, I just couldn't do it.

I'm proud of you, sweetheart.

I am really proud of you.

Well, sure, you're
proud of me now.

Wait till you lose your job and I
can't supplement the family income.

Oh, well, don't
worry about that.

You can always
get a job in Mexico

as an actress with a
funny New York accent.

No. See, Donald, now,
that would be wrong, too.

I know, I know, I know.

Oh, there it is. Turn him up.

[Man] ...opened tonight at The
Martinfeld Theater on Broadway.

The show was, is and will be

the success of the year.

Theatrically, it was perfect.

Every performer
in it will become

the darling of this
Broadway season.

The play is a guaranteed hit.

I'm really very happy for all
those other people, Donald.

But the success story

was not entirely
seen on the stage.

There was also a
success story backstage

when the producers decided

that they did not have to stoop

to insulting ethnic
material for laughs.

A questionable sketch
was dropped from the show

by the producers
at the last minute.

And we salute them.

Now, in one minute,

Dave Rowan and the weather

after this message.

Well, that's that.

Miss Marie, you
are a perfect lady.

I place the salute
where it belongs.

- Oh, I'm not so perfect.
- You're perfect.

If I were perfect, I'd be
happy that I did the right thing,

and I wouldn't really
care if I wasn't one of

the darlings of this
Broadway's new season.

- Honey.
- I know, Donald.

I know I did the right thing.

I guess I'm just not ready
to be Joan of Arc yet.

I'd do it all the same tomorrow.

Just I really do feel sorry that
I came so close and missed.

- [knocking on door]
- Who is it?

Felix.

Oh, Felix. Come on in.

- Hello. Hello, Don.
- Hi, Felix.

Congratulations.

We are so proud of
you. We succeeded.

Yes, we did. I just
saw it on television.

- It's a good feeling, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.

Of course, not as good as
being one of Broadway's darlings.

But I'm going to
make it up to you.

Oh, Felix. There's
nothing to make up.

Will you feel better to know
that the producers of the show

have decided to drop
all charges against us?

And they're going to pay
us for the full run of the play.

Oh, that's fantastic! Why?

Well, they want the
press to think that it was

the producers' idea to drop
the sketch from the show.

That's terrible. How can we stop
them from saying that, Donald?

Well, we can refuse
to take the money.

Who would want to
do a thing like that?

- Not me.
- Me, either.

To quote my father's worst
joke, "Let them take the credit.

I'll take the cash."

You are wonderful.

Wonderful? I was just
beginning to feel darling.

Okay, here.

What's this for?

That's my check this week
for not appearing in the review.

Terrific. What do you
want me to do with it?

- Invest it.
- In what?

I don't know. But I've decided

that I'm going to invest
every other check I make

in the stock market.

I want to invest in America.

Uh-huh. I see. What
brought this on?

I don't know. I've been
reading a lot about people

who make a lot of
money in the stock market,

and I want to try it.

Okay, okay.

You want to invest
all of it systematically.

That's right. How much can
I make, like over ten years?

Well, honey, it's hard to tell.
If the market is a rising one,

you might make a
lot over ten years.

But then again, if you lose some on
one stock and gain some on another...

- Lose? How do you lose?
- Sometimes you lose.

You're kidding. You can
lose? Over ten years?

Oh, you're kidding, Donald.
You can't lose over ten years.

Yes, you can.
Come on. Let's see.

I can put some of it
in a basic blue chip.

Donald, are you being
honest about lose?

Yes, honey, of course.

The odds over ten years.

Odds? If I wanted to
gamble, I'd go to Las Vegas.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ Diamonds,
daisies, snowflakes ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Chestnuts,
rainbows, springtime ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She's mine alone,
but luckily for you ♪

♪ If you find a girl to love ♪

♪ Only one girl to love ♪

♪ Then she'll be
That Girl, too ♪

That Girl!