That Girl (1966–1971): Season 5, Episode 11 - Super Reporter - full transcript

Hey, Charley, how does
your fiancée feel about

your coming up here
everyday to have lunch with me?

She doesn't know about it.

I'm a little
old-fashioned, I guess.

Well, what she doesn't
know won't hurt her, right?

Yeah, something like that.

Oh, Charley, if you really
do feel uncomfortable...

No. I just worry
too much, that's all.

I mean, after all, it's not
like we've done anything

we should be ashamed of, right?

Right.



I mean, like, we
have nothing to hide.

- [knocking]
- [Man] Ann?

Where should I...

- Ann? - Oh, I... I'll just...

- Donald?
- Can I come in?

Why? I mean, yes.

Yes, of course. Come in.

- What's the matter?
- Nothing. Nothing's the matter.

- Honey, I got it. It's no pr...
- No, Donald, let me take it.

No, Donald, I know that
every man wants a girl

who will do everything for him,

and just take care of
every tiny little chore.

And for you, I want
to be... that girl.

♪ Diamonds,
daisies, snowflakes ♪



♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Chestnuts,
rainbows, springtime ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She spins a lot of dreams ♪

♪ She's everything that
every girl should be ♪

♪ Sable, popcorn, white wine ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Gingham, bluebirds, Broadway ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She's mine alone,
but luckily for you ♪

♪ If you find a girl to love ♪

♪ Only one girl to love ♪

♪ Then she'll be
That Girl, too ♪

That Girl!

How... How came
you come, Donald?

- "How came I come"?
- Uh, how come you came?

How come you came here?

- Ann, is something wrong?
- Nothing! Nothing.

What could be wrong,
Donald? It's just that I...

I was just surprised
to see you at lunch.

You never come over at lunch.
You always come over at dinner.

What's the difference,
lunch time, dinner time...

Just a little bit more lettuce
at lunch time, that's all.

Whatever you say, honey.

Ann, I have something
to give to you.

- I'll get it.
- It's here in my pocket.

Oh, oh. I thought
it was in your coat.

I want to do things
for you, Donald.

Oh, then why don't
you come over here

and take it out of
my jacket for me.

Donald. You can take it out.

Here, sweetheart.
It's the ticket

from the cleaners
for my tuxedo tonight.

Oh, fine. Don't
worry. I'll get it.

Well, thanks a
lot for stopping by.

Ann, wait a minute. Ann.
What's the matter with you?

Nothing. Nothing's the
matter. I'm just a little nervous

about tonight, and you're
going on television, Donald.

- I'm so proud of you.
- They should have given you
the award.

Well, as an actress,
but not as anything great.

- I mean, like you.
- Tonight,

after they give me the
award for the article,

n.

I think I'm gonna introduce you

as the girl that inspired it.

Oh, Donald, thank you.

And I'll just be so
proud and grateful,

and I'll come up and
accept with honor.

I think you better get
back to the office, Donald.

You're going to be really late.

You know, if I didn't know
you loved me so much,

Oh, Donald. It's just, you
know, I've got so much to do

and everything...
I've got to fix my hair,

and do my face
and put on my eyes,

and start running around like
a closet with its head cut off.

I had dyed... I don't want
to wait to the last minute

- A closet?
- What about the closet?

Nothing. N-Nothing. I
think I'm gonna go now.

- Oh, okay.
- Uh, I love you.

Thank you.

- Thank you?
- I-I mean, I love you, too.

I love you too, Donald. I
didn't mean to say thank you.

- I love you too.
- Well, you can thank me.

Okay. I'll see you later.

- Thanks.
- Yeah, thanks.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Good. Fine.

Bye-bye.

- Oh! Charley, I'm sorry.
- [sighs]

- Hate that closet.
- Oh, Charley. Poor Charley.

Look, if we're through,
I'd like to go back to work.

Oh, wait, though. I've
got to check one thing

I didn't check before.

Let's see, now.

- Oh.
- Is that enough?

I think you're just
about the same...

size as Donald.

What size are you, in the chest?

- 40.
- 40.

40. That's just
about the same size

I think I'll make it
just that same size.

So don't worry about a thing.
It'll just take a few seconds,

- and I'll have this shirt made.
- Okay.

The guys at the office really
appreciate your doing all this,

- and keeping it a secret.
- Oh, I love secrets.

It gives you
something to talk about.

Everything will be
ready by 4:00, right?

Oh, right.

You're really one of the boys.

Okay, go on. Thanks a lot.

You've just been marvelous.

Hey. I finally
measured up to Don.

- Boo.
- Bad, yeah.

"Your Honor, and Mr. Mayor
and members of the council."

- I'm so excited!
- Shh!

Oh, I hope he likes it.

You're terrific. You're
really one of the boys.

My Ruthie couldn't
keep a secret two weeks

if she was in a coma!

Hey, surprise!

What is this?

Sit right there, young man,
and be rewarded by your peers.

Not mayors, not
governors, but the people

who really know and love you.

Wait a second. I'll
admit I know him,

but nobody said
anything about loving.

True, true. You're in
the group who knows.

And let's see. Who's
in the group who loves?

Well, I guess we're all "knows."

By your leave, sir.

- Well, thank you, sweetheart.
- Oh, don't thank me.

- Just open your presents.
- Will you stop?

Here, Don. You open your
present, and I'll read the card.

"To Don: we're proud
of you for winning

"the Humanitarian
Award for writing,

"and thought you
might really use

the enclosed... The
Guys in the Office."

Cute. Really cute.

"How to Write."

Can you divorce a fiancée?

And now, the piece
of resistance. Ann?

- Donald?
- What?

We all chipped in.

Just what I always
wanted. A box of chips.

That's really below
your standard.

I thought it was kind of funny.

Well, sure, you're
his secretary.

What is this?

What is... There
you go! Super Don!

That's great! That's great!

[All] Put it on.

- Where did you get that?
- Ann made it.

I was up there
modeling all week.

- Is that right?
- Yeah.

I think I have exactly
what you have.

That's what Ann says, anyway.

Are you sure you
can't divorce a fiancée?

Positive. Come
on, Donald, try it on.

See if you measure
up to Charles.

Aw, li... Honey,
it really is terrific,

but listen, I can't... I
got to write a speech,

- and I have an appointment.
- [Ann] Oh, come on.

It's the least you can
do. After all the trouble

the fellows went
to to let me make it.

[laughing]

All right, all right.

Where can I change?

Well, for lack of a phone booth,

I recommend the closet.

[all laughing]

That is great.

Oh, I can't wait.
I hope it fits.

You and Don are some pair.

You're one of the
boys, and in that outfit,

he'll look like
one of the girls.

A-ha. What happened?

The water cooler break down?

Oh, hi, Mr. Adams.

Hiya. It's a
pleasure to see you.

Thank you.

I guess that you and Don

had some kind of a
long lunch hour, huh?

Oh, no, actually. I just
brought him his outfit.

His outfit? What outfit is that?

Ta-da!

From the sky, into the cloud.

Look down on the
ground, it's Super Don!

Able to climb up on a
desk in a single bound!

Able to take a company
pencil with his bare hands...

Hello, Mr. Adams.

Hello, Super Don.

Super Don! That's cute, the
way you said "Super Don."

And everybody calls
you "Soup" for short.

Soup! Soup for short.

[Adams] I know we're all
very proud of Don, here,

yes indeed, I really am,

And I don't like to put an
end to this gay camaraderie,

really I don't, but after all,

I'm back to the mines.

And I do need my
speech for tonight, Donald.

- Do you have it?
- No, sir.

I had to finish yours and mine.

- I suggest you get to it, then.
- Yeah, be... Yes.

I'll have it finished
in about an hour.

Good, good. Oh, by the bye,

Deputy Commissioner
Finley's gonna be in my office

in about 15 minutes.

Drop by and we'll have a
few shots taken for publicity.

- Yeah, okay.
- You can make it, can you?

Yes, yes. Well, you buzz
me when you're ready.

Sure, Super.

Super! [laughs]

[door closes]

"Super Don"!

I'll give 'em back
to him tonight, Ann.

You promise?

If you promise not to
tell him that I have them.

Oh, Jerry, I can't do that.

If he asks me...

Well, if you don't
promise not to tell him,

then I may never
give them back to him.

- Jerry!
- Come on now, Ann.

The guys have
planned this for a week.

That's the whole plan.

Not only to get
him into the outfit,

but to get him stuck in it.

You never told
me that part of it.

If you tell him, I won't give
his clothes back till tomorrow!

[typing]

Honey, don't move. I
gotta finish this speech.

[intercom buzzes]

Hello? Yes, sir.

Now? Right now?

Yeah. All right, sir.
All right, all right.

Yes, sir.

Honey, I have to run
upstairs for a few seconds.

The deputy commissioner is here,

and he wants to meet me.

- My clothes are gone.
- Really?

Yes, really.

Do you have any idea
what happened to them?

Yes.

Quick. I gotta get
upstairs. Where are they?

I can't tell you.

You can't... You
can't tell me? Ann!

Donald!

Ann. Ann, I have an appointment
with the deputy commissioner.

This is no joke anymore.
Where are my clothes?

I don't know.

Oh. I thought you said
you knew where they were.

- No, Donald.
- Oh.

I said I had an idea
what happened to them.

Oh. All right, then.
What happened to them.

I can't tell you. For your sake.

But just stay right here,
Donald. I'll be right back.

I'll go and find out, and
see if I can't tell you...

And I wish I'd never come
here today, for my sake.

Donald. Donald,
Mr. Adams' secretary

just came looking for you.

The deputy
commissioner is leaving.

Y-You have to go
up there right now.

But I...

Mr. Hollinger, sir.

- Ah! Come in, Holly.
- Thank you.

Hi, I'm sorry I'm late.

The elevator door
wouldn't open downstairs.

Yes, well, why
didn't you just sort of

leap up here, Don, in
one single, mighty bound?

- [laughs]
- Where are your clothes,
Hollinger?

You just gave away
his secret identity.

Very good. Very good, Don.

I'd like you to meet Deputy
Commissioner Finley.

How do you do, sir? It's a
real pleasure to meet you.

Well, everyone downtown
enjoyed your article.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.

However, we were all
under the impression

that you were a bit older.

Oh! Oh, well. Well, I
can assure you, sir,

I did not come to
work in these clothes.

- No!
- Well, maybe "older"

is not the right
word... More "mature"?

Oh, you mean,
wearing this outfit,

one might think I was immature?

- Well...
- You're right.

Clothes certainly
are a dead giveaway.

Oh, I agree with that. The
clothes the kids wear today.

Oh, you see one of
them coming, and...

You're in trouble, right?

And I bet you will
agree with me, too,

that you can tell
there's trouble

- when you look at their hair!
- Right. Nothing but trouble.

Well, Mr. Hollinger, you're even

brighter than I
thought you were.

A-ha! Well, there you go,
but I'm not really Hollinger.

I'm Super Don!

And I can see I can
do no good here.

I mean, there's no
need for my X-ray vision

to look through the wall...
There's not even any need

for my normal hearing,

since I find what you have to
say, sir, totally uninteresting.

- Don!
- Excuse me, sir. Excuse me.

But maybe Deputy
Commissioner Finley

might find what I have
to say very interesting.

Sit down, sir.

Jerry! Jerry has your
clothes. Don't kill me.

- Let me tell you something.
- What?

There are a lot of dumb,
narrow-minded, rotten,

ignorant, stupid
people in this world.

Now just a minute, Donald.
Just because I didn't...

[laughs]

Not you. Not you, come here.

I'm glad you didn't tell me.

If you did, I would have
had no idea what a fool

Deputy Commissioner Finley is.

Oh, Donald. You're wonderful.

You really are so special.

Any other man would have
been just furious with me.

Well, ten minutes ago, I
wasn't ready to send you flowers,

- I can tell you that.
- What happened up there?

Enough to give me a
subject matter for my speech.

And for Mr. Adams' speech.

Which hopefully,
Mr. Adams will not read

until he gets right in front
of the television cameras.

What are you gonna do, Donald?

I think get fired.
Let me type, honey.

I'll see you later.

You want me to go ask
Jerry for your clothes?

No, no, no. I'll ask
him. You stay out of it.

Let them still think
you're one of the boys.

By the way, don't
ever be one of the boys.

Oh, that's it.

- Good luck.
- Thanks, darling.

- Elaine!
- Yes, master.

Keeper of Me Till Late Hours.

Listen, did you finish
retyping my speech yet?

- Another page.
- All right, good.

Come here. Come here.

This is Mr. Adams'
speech. Type it up,

but don't let him know it's
ready till the last minute.

I do not want him
to read it in advance.

All right? Where's Jerry?

I couldn't get
him at the office.

He left on a U.N. assignment.

Did he bring you my clothes?

- Gee, Don, no.
- No?

But he did say that somebody
was gonna drop 'em off at 6:00.

- It's 6:30!
- Somebody forgot.

And somebody's secretary
forgot to tell her boss. Mm!

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

Finish the typing,
okay? I'll call Ann

and tell her to bring
my stuff over here.

[phone rings]

Darn it!

[line ringing]

[ringing]

- Hello? Hello!
- [line clicks, dial tone]

Oh, darn it!

Wait.

[line ringing]

Oh. No. Can't be.

What's that private line?

Hello, Elaine!

Hi. Was Donald
just trying to call me?

I thought so. Okay.

- Donald?
- Honey, listen.

Somehow or other, the guys left,

and they forgot to
bring me my clothes.

Oh, you're kidding!

This is what I want you to do:

You know where I keep the
extra key to the apartment?

- Yeah?
- I want you to go over there,

go into the apartment, and
in the bedroom on the dresser

are my shirt and my studs.

And my black shoes
and my black socks

are laid neatly
out on the couch.

I want you to pick that stuff up

and bring it over
here with my tuxedo.

Okay?

Ann?

- Ann!
- Donald,

remember this
afternoon, when you said

you couldn't be mad
at me no matter what?

Well, worse than no
matter what's just happened.

And I don't deserve to
ever have you as a husband.

You didn't forget to
pick up my tuxedo?

Well thank heavens.
I was sure I had.

Look on the ticket. They
have the number of the place,

and they may have
an emergency number

in case they're closed.

Okay, Donald. All right. I will.

- Bye.
- [line clicks]

Didn't even say I love you.

You know, there
should really be a law

that the owner of a store has
to put a number on the door

in case of an emergency.

Yeah, there should
be a law that...

- [grunts]
- What?

Un, nothing, honey. Nothing.

You were gonna say
that there should be a law

that girls shouldn't
be so stupid.

No, I was not, but if
one ever came up...

I'd vote for it.

Ah, there is no way
to open this window.

Then why don't you
just go through the wall?

Hi, Officer.

Well, if it isn't Lois Lane.

Keep going, Supey,
I know you're on

an important mission, and
I wouldn't want to interfere,

but could you do
one thing for me first?

Officer...

Like put your hands
against the wall,

lean over and
keep your feet apart.

- O-Officer, I'm not...
- Do it!

Now, I've got to tell you
something before we start.

Oh, I know, sir. We
have a right to counsel,

and you can't hold
anything against us,

without our right to
race, color or creed.

Besides all that, or
something like that,

I happen to pride myself
on never forgetting a face.

And I happen to have
seen yours somewhere.

You're in show business, right?

Yes, sir. I'm an actress.

Not you, him.

Oh, yes. He's a writer.

You probably saw his picture
in the paper this morning

for winning a writing award.

Actually, sir, he's
terribly honest.

I mean, this is the first
time he's ever been caught,

and we really
weren't going that fast.

- What are you doing here?
- Officer, it's a wild story.

Why don't you just try me?

I mean, give me a
quick "Shazaam."

Oh, no, no, no.
That's Captain Marvel.

I think he's being
awfully nice, Donald.

Yes, he is, honey. Let's just
hope he can reach the cleaners.

We're due at the TV
studio in 15 minutes.

Hey, will you hurry up, pal?

There's a guy out
here waitin' to change.

No luck. He's out for the night.

Well, thank you, Officer.
Thank you very much.

I guess I'll just have
to go home and change

and forget about the tuxedo.

Honey, listen. Grab a
cab down to the TV studio,

and make sure that Elaine
does not give Adams that speech

until the last possible second.

- Last possible second. Okay.
- Thank you, honey.

[whispering, indistinct]

- Hi, Ann.
- Oh!

- Elaine.
- Good evening, Mr. Adams.

- Oh, you look smashing.
- Huh? Oh.

I do. Where's,
uh... Where's Don?

Uh, I don't know.
He'll be here, though.

Well, I should
certainly hope so.

I mean, after all, it is in
his honor and everything.

- Yes.
- He didn't give me my speech.

Have you got my... Elaine,
maybe he gave it to you.

Uh... The... [giggles]

Huh? The speech. The speech.

- I-I have it, sir.
- Ah, well,

for heaven's
sakes, give it to me.

Well, I have to
correct it first, sir.

- Correct what?
- Well, there's an awful lot

of typographical errors.

I can figure those
out as I go along.

Now if I may have the speech?

- Uh, yes, sir.
- Please, we're due to go...

- on the...
- Yes, it's right here.

Uh, let's see.

- Here.
- Ann.

It's, uh... It's...

Uh, hi. Sorry I'm late.

Oh-ho. Oh, Donny.
That's all right.

Tell me, how's my speech?

Oh, haven't you
read it yet, sir?

Well, no, I've been waiting

for Little Miss
Anti-Pollution here

- to dig it out of her...
- Excuse me.

- Uh, Mr. Adams?
- Yes.

You're to introduce
Mr. Hollinger, is that correct?

- That's correct, and...
- Would you come with me?

We'll be ready in two minutes.

- Surely. Excuse me.
- Oh, here's your speech, sir.

Here's your speech.

Good. I guess I'll just
have to read it on the air.

- Cold.
- Yeah, I guess so.

Well, after all, you wrote it.

You're here to get
an award for writing.

How bad could it be?

Thank you.

Well, Donald, how
bad could it be?

Pretty.

Why don't you just give
the speech yourself?

Because, sweetheart,
a speech that tries

to teach older people to
be younger should be made

by someone in their
own age bracket.

Why they can't listen
to someone younger

- is what makes them old.
- Uh, Mr. Hollinger?

Yeah. See ya.

Ready.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Good evening.

My portion of the news
tonight is dedicated

to the award-winning
journalist, Donald Hollinger.

And here tonight to
present him with the award

is the publisher of
Newsview magazine,

Mr. Jonathan Adams.

Thank you, Mr. Gorman.

When a man receives an
award for curing a disease,

he might find a
satisfaction in that award,

for it means an end to
ignorance and suffering.

Not so for a man
who writes a paper

describing a disease.

I feel, as Don Hollinger does,

and Don's story
has only pointed out

the suffering of our youth

because of our
ignor... Ignorance.

This ignorance is not
limited to the uneducated.

It spreads through
our Establishment,

the police force,
the mayor's office?

Our huge metropolis
and national magazines?

Oh, Donald, I'm so proud of you.

And that was a terrific speech.

It's nice of you to
say, sweetheart,

but I'd still rather
hear from Mr. Adams.

Oh, Donald, I know he
wasn't trying to ignore you.

The mayor just pulled him away.

You were wonderful on
television, Mr. Hollinger.

And you look even better alive.

I mean, in real life.

Oh, well thank you.
Thank you very much.

Would you autograph
my menu for me?

Certainly. I didn't
write the menu, though.

No, but this way I have
you and a menu from Nino's.

And that's really something
in Bloomfield, New Jersey.

- There you go. Thank you.
- Thank you.

Boy, oh boy, I've been on
television a hundred times,

and nobody ever asks
me for my autograph.

Well, I have the kind of
face you can remember.

Sweating and twitching.

Uh-oh. You better get ready.
Here comes another fan.

Don, I thought
I'd find you here.

Hello, Mr. Adams.

- Ann.
- Hi, sir.

We certainly are
glad to see you.

We hope we see
a lot more of you.

Had a little chat
with the mayor.

Oh, really? Did you? Mayor
Lindsay? You talked with him?

He was quite
interested in my speech.

Oh, really interested, was he?

Well, I guess Mayor Lindsay

has an awful lot
to be interested in.

I wouldn't worry too
much about what he s...

Worry, worry?
Nothing to worry about.

He loved it.

- Loved it?
- Mm.

I told him I loved it too.

Oh, thank heaven, Mr. Adams.

I didn't say "I loved it,"

I said I told the
mayor I loved it.

I hated it.

Ah. [chuckles]

Well, I guess you might say
I'm still up the creek, then.

Yes, you might.
But I won't, Don.

Huh? [laughs]

And now, if I may
join you for dinner,

I might pick up the check.

Oh, well, please do.

Then please do.

Ah! There, you see?

Wh-What's that?

I picked up the checks.

Oh, honey, doesn't he have
a marvelous sense of humor?

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ Diamonds,
daisies, snowflakes ♪

♪ That Girl ♪

♪ Chestnuts,
rainbows, springtime ♪

♪ Is That Girl ♪

♪ She's mine alone,
but luckily for you ♪

♪ If you find a girl to love ♪

♪ Only one girl to love ♪

♪ Then she'll be
That Girl, too ♪

That Girl!