That Girl (1966–1971): Season 4, Episode 9 - Shake Hands and Come Out Acting - full transcript

[thumping]

Excuse me.

Very nice. Whaddya
think, Charlie?

Great legs, but can
she go 15 rounds?

Hey kid, lemme see your right.

Okay, Charlie.

Hold my purse.

Pow! Beautiful.

Hey, you're all right, kid.
What can we do for you?

I'm looking for
Donald Hollinger.

Hollinger? Middleweight
out of Detroit?



No.

Writer out of his mind.

Thanks.

Hi, Donald!

Hey, Don! Don?

You okay? I'm sorry,
man. I tried to pull it.

It wasn't that fist, Tony.

It was that girl.

♪♪ [theme]

How is it? Fine.

I just won't be able to
chew jelly for a while.

I shouldn't have waved to you.

I admit that didn't help.

I used to wave to Floyd
Patterson all the time.



It didn't seem to bother him.

Thank you, honey.

Floyd wasn't as
friendly as I am.

A person waves hello to me,

I feel I should respond.

With dropped hands
and an open jaw?

I think I blew a
shot at the title.

Why did you have to
box with him anyway?

I didn't have to, honey.

I just thought it would
make a better story

if I saw what it was
like to do what he does.

I wouldn't mind if
you did what he does,

but you did what you do.

Hey, Don, how's the jaw?

It's fine, Tony. Don't
let it bother you.

I'd watch out for him. He
can carry a grudge for years.

Oh, I'm sorry. Ann,
this is Tony Harris.

Hi.

Hi. Donald's told
me a lot about you.

Told me a lot about you, too.

Tells me you're an actress,
and a pretty good one at that.

Oh yeah, he's right.
I'm magnificent.

As a matter of fact, I turned
down two movies last week.

No kidding.

Mm-hmm. Seen them both.

Hey, you know, this
might sound funny,

but I've always
wanted to be an actor.

Really? Yeah.

Have you ever done any acting?

Well, just the
high school stuff.

But I really enjoyed it, and I
always wanted to do it again.

That's terrific.

What about boxing?

Fighting's great,

but you never heard of
an actor having to quit at 37

because his legs went bad.

I haven't.

Hey, Tony, if you're really
interested in becoming an actor,

I go to this workshop...

Honey, you're an actress
already. Tony would need

a little more experience
before he went down there.

Boxing's a full-time occupation.

Oh no, Donald, my workshop's

got a beginner" group in it.

For really, really
new beginners?

Oh, sure, you have to
audition and everything,

but I can set that up
for you if you want.

Hey, that'd be great.

All right, kid, let's
hit those showers

before the muscles tighten up.

Okay, I'll get out of your way.

Hey, could you really look
into that workshop place for me?

Oh, sure. I'm
going there tonight.

I'll talk to Mr. Benedict,
and I'll call you tomorrow.

Hey, that's great.

Hey, Don? You're right.

She's a real champ.

And a heavyweight.

A pugilist?

You want me to
audition a pugilist?

He's not just a pugilist.

He's a potential actor. Really?

Yes, and he's not totally
inexperienced, either.

Oh, of course not.

Everyone's heard of the Madison Square
Garden Summit Theater in the Round.

Well, he did some
acting in high school.

He did some acting
in high school?

Miss Marie, if everyone who
did some acting in high school

got together today
to put on a play,

they would need a
stage the size of China.

Stage the size of China.

You don't find that amusing?

I'm sorry. I was
thinking about Tony.

Oh, Mr. Benedict, please.

No.

Mr. Benedict, you
remember Donald,

my boyfriend who works
for Newsview magazine?

Well, he's writing
a story about Tony,

and I was just thinking

that if you did give
Tony that audition,

it could appear in the article.

Your name, the
workshop, pictures of you,

and the 30 million people
who read Newsview magazine

could know all about
you as well as Tony.

Tony Harris, the actor?

Well, I suppose it wouldn't
hurt to give him a chance.

What else can I give
but my niceness?

Oh, Mr. Benedict, thanks.
That's very nice of you.

And you won't be
sorry. He'll be very good.

I'll be the judge of that.

I better call Donald.
May I use your phone?

You may not. This
is a business phone.

You may use the one on the wall

with that cute little
attachment for dimes.

I reached Tony, and
he said thank you.

What did he say?

I just said what he said.

I mean what else did he say?

Was he excited?

He was excited and happy
and I think a little nervous.

That's good. That's very good.

You always act a little
better if you're nervous.

I told him you'd drop the
scene off to him in the morning.

Donald, I told Mr. Benedict

that you'd mention the
workshop in the story.

Is that so?

Yes. I thought it would make
a real good angle for the story.

Ann, I'll make a deal with you.

You don't tell me how to write,

and I won't tell you

how to get mixed up in
everybody else's business.

I'm sorry.

I guess it wouldn't really
be too good for your story.

Wrong again. It'd be a
great angle for the story.

Really?

You know, I was thinking, you
could say there's this boxer...

Hungry?

Starved.

But most important thing is

just be yourself. Yeah.

Hey, Dal, this is who
should be my manager.

Yesterday she said she's
try, and today I got the job.

Well, you don't really
have anything yet.

All you've got is a
chance to audition.

And if Mr. Benedict doesn't
think you're good enough,

you won't get into the workshop.

I know that, but I really
appreciate what you've done.

Really. That's okay.

See you later, Tony.

Okay, Dal.

Now, the scene
starts right here.

It's pretty short.

Hey, short is good.

And it'll be easy to learn.

See, I'll play the girl's part.

Oh, wait up, hold it. That's
the part I wanted to play.

Donald said you're
a little bit nervous.

You're not nervous
at all, are you?

Nervous? No.

Scared to death.

The only thing that helps

is knowing that you're
going to do the part with me.

It's going to be fine, so
don't worry about anything.

We'll meet over at
the workshop at 8:00,

and we'll rehearse the
scene a couple of times.

Classes don't start till 9,

so we'll have
plenty of time. Okay.

Okay? So don't worry. I won't.

All righty. See you at 8.

Bye. Bye-bye.

Miss Marie? Oh, hi, Dal!

Can I give you a lift?
Oh sure, if it's no trouble.

No trouble at all.

I got this chauffeur
here with nothing to do.

Well, this certainly
is a beautiful car.

It's nice and roomy.

Yeah, it's got a big trunk.

Hi, I'm Ann.

Right.

Yes, it is, exactly.

As a matter of fact, I uh...

Oh, I think I
recognize this block.

I'll just get out here.

We're on a bridge, Miss Marie.

Oh, ha ha, that's funny.

This house looks
just like my bridge.

M-My bridge
looks just like this...

Oh, I'll get out here.

We don't want
Tony to be no actor.

You don't?

Well, why not?

Because after his fight
with Perilli Saturday night,

he's got two more fights,
and then he's the champ.

Oh, my gosh, that's terrific!

Isn't that wonderful?

Tony, the champion of the world!

Right.

I didn't get your name.

What's the difference?

You're right, what's
the difference?

I mean, big deal,
what's in a name?

I-I-I-I call my mother
all those years,

I don't even know my mother's
name. I always called her Mom.

Girlie? What?

For a fighter to be the
champion of the world,

he's got to think about
nothing else but boxing.

Oh, well, I don't
know about that.

I do.

Does he? He does.

He owns 60% of the kid.

Look, we don't want the kid to
get involved in no acting classes.

Well, I really think that
should be up to Tony.

But then I don't
know everything.

I mean, I've been wrong
before about things.

What do I know? Dumb kid.

This audition tonight.

You're playing the
other part with him?

Yes. And if he's bad,

he don't get into the school.

That's right.

Then the answer's
very simple, Miss Marie.

What answer?

You're going into the tank.

I go where?

Here's a grand, Miss Marie.

You throw the audition.

You want me to
throw the audition

for a thousand dollars?

That's ridiculous.

Jake?

All right, $1,500.
No, you don't-

Look, Miss Marie, all you've
got to do is make the kid look bad

so he don't get involved
in taking classes.

Now, how much do you want?

Not a penny, not one penny.

I wouldn't do such a thing.

You two ought to be
ashamed of yourselves.

I have half a mind
to go to the police.

And then I also have
half a mind not to.

Actually, it's 49% for going

and 51% for not going.

So the not going wins.

But you gotta
admit it was close.

You don't know how close.

Do you know what it does to
me here to know that you were

thrown defenseless
into a car with two hoods?

Oh, Donald, it
wasn't that terrible.

A little pat maybe? A pat?

A pat? What do you mean
a pat? What kind of pat?

Just like a little
pat, on the knee.

On the knee? The
knee? A pat on the knee?

Oh, Donald, not
like that, as a threat.

A threat? A threat?
A knee? A pat?

Oh, Donald, for heaven's sakes,
I'm sorry I called you over here.

You're getting way too upset.

Now, what are we going
to do about this problem?

What are we going
to do about this?

Honey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Here, just sit down, sit down.

Look, do you still want to
help Tony with the audition?

Of course I do, and I'm going
to do the very best I can, too.

I just think we ought to tell
the police about the bribe.

Honey, as far as I
know, there's no law

against bribing someone
to throw an audition.

Maybe we better tell Tony.

And what's he going to do? He's going
to tell you to forget about the audition

so you won't be
involved anymore.

[knock on door] I'll get it.

Hello, kid.

Come in.

Donald, this is them.

All right, which
one did the patting?

Which one? Him,
but it was nothing.

Are you sure? Yes.

All right, then.

We want to talk
to you, Miss Marie.

Sit down, kid.

Why?

I'll sit. He always stands.

I mean, not just with crooks.

What I mean is,
even in restaurants,

I always have to sit for
the two of us. It's ridiculous.

Now look,

I understand you
offered Miss Marie a bribe

to throw Tony's audition.

That's right.

Don't try to deny it.

What about it?

Well, you should know
a little better than that.

I happen to be a writer for Newsview
magazine, which you also know.

You keep telling
me things I know.

Why don't you tell me
something I don't know, huh?

Okay, now I'm going to
tell you something I've done.

Wait till you hear this.

I'm all on edge.

I have written up the entire
limousine ride you had with Ann,

plus the offer of the bribe,

and put it into a
sealed envelope...

And mailed it to your lawyer.

My publisher.

Mistake, kid, lawyer is better.

Really? Why?

'Cause in a picture we saw,

Cagney mails it
to the publisher,

and the publishing
house gets burned down.

In the Bogart picture,
he mails it to his lawyer

because nobody
ever bothers a lawyer.

I saw that one.

Of course, that's
not the point here.

Now let me tell you something.

It is no crime in trying
to throw an audition,

according to the New York
State Acting Commission.

Now look, why did you come here?

To find out if the little
lady changed her mind,

and to see if $2,000
might help her change it.

No, I have not changed my mind,

and I'm going to help
Tony give the very best

audition he
possibly can tonight.

That would be a huge mistake.

Now look, stop
threatening her, I mean it.

You offered a bribe, the
answer is no, you tried,

it didn't work and that's it.

Beautiful speech.

Let's go.

The offer still holds.

Donald, Donald, you
were just fantastic.

When you said,
"Stop threatening her,"

I thought I'd die of pride.

Oh, darling, you were so brave.

You were so magnificent, Donald.

Ann, you're a girl.
Tell me something.

What?

How do you faint?

All right students,
we are about to begin.

Will you kindly take your
seats? Quickly, please.

Quickly.

You have the correct spelling?

B-E-N-E-D-I-C-T.

Perfect.

Now bear in mind, Mr. Hollinger,

if the boy is no good, I will
not accept him in my workshop.

That's fair. Either way
it will make a good story.

Though it would
be nice if he made it.

Oh?

Well, I'm waiting, Miss
Marie, Mr. Dempsey.

Yes.

Have you told your parents
what you intend to do?

No, I cannot bring it to myself.

They wouldn't say no.

No, I cannot bring it to myself.

They would say no, I mean.

You can't consider
yourself a man

until you're ready
to act like one.

You've got to decide now.

Are you Roger Whitney
or Mark Whitney's son?

That is a good
question, I wish I know.

Uh, I wish I knew.

[whispering] Perhaps

Oh. Perhaps someday I will know,

and when I do, then I will know.

Stop it, stop it!

Not only is your
acting terrible,

I'm surprised you
remember how to talk at all.

Tell me, young man, after
your high school performance,

were you allowed to
continue attending classes?

Mr. Benedict... It's not
that you have no talent,

it's simply that
it will take years

before you get up
to having no talent.

What kind of plays were
you in in high school?

They weren't exactly
plays, Mr. Benedict.

Oh? They were more
like variety shows.

[Ann] What did you do, Tony?

I just talked about the things

that were happening
around the high school.

Oh, a satirical high
school commentator.

Just what the world's
been waiting for.

Oh, Mr. Benedict.

All right, Mr. Vaudeville, let's hear
some of your mirth-provoking monologue.

Well, I-I couldn't do that.

It wouldn't be funny,
here, four years later.

You want to be an actor,

you should be
prepared to perform.

Students! Attention!

Showtime!

Well, proceed.

I was just telling Mr. Benedict

about some of the
experiences I had

in my eight years
of high school.

You learn things that aren't
really helpful, for instance,

we learned Washington crossed
the Delaware to fight the Hessians.

How's that going to help me

in a brick fight
in Central Park?

Think about it.

We spent a whole semester...
We spent a whole semester,

six months, learning
about pilgrims.

Pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock,

and the Indians were
there to meet them.

Where are the pilgrims?

I never met a pilgrim.

Anybody ever walk
up to you and say,

"Hi there, I'm a pilgrim."

Where did we put the pilgrims?

We know where
we got the Indians.

You think we
keeping the pilgrims

the same place we
keep the Hessians?

Because I don't know
a single Hessian, either.

You'd be surprise
at... the War of 1812.

Think about this now.

This is the only war they've
ever had that had no name.

The War of 1812.

That's no name for a war.

They had the Revolutionary War.

What was that
about? A revolution.

We had the Civil War.
What was that about?

A civil.

What was the War of 1812 about?

You don't know.

Nobody knows, and
nobody ever knew.

Hey!

Maybe that's the war

where the pilgrims
and the Hessians

wiped each other out.

You were really
funny, Tony, I mean it.

Are you talking about
my jokes or my acting?

You clobbered 'em. It
was really hysterical.

And you know what?

I actually saw
Mr. Benedict smiling.

Yeah, but he wasn't laughing.

Well, don't look for miracles.

I'll bet he accepts
you into the workshop.

He didn't say
anything about that.

That's good. He's
thinking about it.

If he didn't like it,
he'd have said so.

Hey!

Here's a letter.

Oh, it must be from Ruthie.

"Miss Ann Mary?"
No, I don't think so.

"Miss Ann Mary"?

Oh, my gosh!

Hey, I don't know
what the note says,

But I'd like a box
of that stationery.

"Dear Miss Mary, We saw
your audition. Thanks a lot.

"Spend the 2 grand in health.

Sincerely yours, Jake."

And I just told them, no sirree,

I wouldn't take a
jump for anybody.

A dive.

Gee, I didn't even
know what you call it.

But still I said
I wouldn't do it.

Ann, I believe you. Oh, you do?

You really do? Because I would
never be involved in anything like that.

Ann, do you remember?
I was at that audition,

and I saw how bad
I was in that scene.

And I saw how much
you tried to help me.

Oh, I'm so glad.

What do I do with this money?

Why don't you keep it?

Keep it? Oh, I can't keep it.

Can I, Donald?

Tony?

Donald?

Keep it. Keep it.

Well, kid, you're going
to have to excuse me.

Really, I'm going
home and go to bed.

You know I got a fight Saturday.

Right. And don't you worry, now.

If I hear anything from
Mr. Benedict, I'll call you right away.

Hey, Ann,

do you think I really
have a chance?

If crossed fingers are any help,

you've got a good chance.

Good luck.

Good night. Good night.

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6...

How's he doing?

Oh, bad, honey.
He's really getting hurt.

Now where's Mr. Benedict?

Did you call him again?

Yeah, I did. His
answering service

said he's going to meet me here.

[crowd roaring] Oh.

It's awful. It's really awful.

Oh, why is Tony so bad?

Too much on his mind, and he
doesn't have a manager, either.

Why? What happened to Dal?

Tony fired.

Miss Marie! Oh, Mr. Benedict!

Are you all right?
Yes, I'm fine.

From your message I was under the
impression that you were on your deathbed.

No, no, it's about... Before
you begin, let me warn you,

it had better be important.

I had to pay to get
in here. It is important.

$3.50 worth?

I want to know if you're going to
accept Tony into the workshop.

You owe me $3.50.

Oh, Mr. Benedict, please.

I'll accept a check.

Here's the money.

Have you accepted Tony?

Are you trying to
make me look cheap?

Have you?

I have not decided.

[bell rings] Oh,
my gosh, come on!

Can you hear me, Tony?

[referee] 2... 3... Can
you hear me, Tony?

4... 5... Get up! Get up!

Tony, Mr. Benedict accepted you.

6... 7... 8, 9... Get 'em, Tony!

You lied, Miss Marie.

I just wanted to give
him some confidence!

2... Lie there, my
boy. Don't try to rise.

I don't want a student
of mine all punched over.

4... 5...

Oh, Mr. Benedict,
you're terrific.

6... I know that.

7... Tony, get up, get up!

You're really in, you're in.

You're out!

When are you going to get
the sound fixed on this set?

Shh. What, shh?

You can't hear
their lips moving?

He's coming tomorrow.

Oh, honey, this is
dumb. Let's turn it off.

No, wait a minute. I can understand
it. I just want to see the end.

Listen, why don't we
call the TV repair man

and tell him to watch it?

Then, when he comes tomorrow,

he can tell you how it ends.

I already know how it ends.

Oh.

You see, the girl, Doreen,

leaves Bill and
marries that lawyer.

Can I see the TV magazine?

"Vernon Blvd."

A two-parter tonight.

"In the first
episode, Maureen"...

That's Maureen... Shh.

"and Milton"... Milton.

"decide to get together,

"and she is forced
to tell her doctor

that she can no longer see him."

That lawyer is a doctor.

They're wrong.

How's Tony doing in
acting school? Fine. Shh!

Here comes the big kiss.

No, never.

I'm telling ya. You wanna bet?

Uh, did you know that
I kissed you recently?

Yes, it was terrific. Shh, shh!

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
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