That Girl (1966–1971): Season 4, Episode 6 - Hearing Today, Gone Tomorrow - full transcript

Ann has come down with a nasty cold. Despite sneezing, feeling congested and having a fever, Ann, against Donald's advice, refuses to pass up an audition for a commercial since she needs the money. What's worse is if she gets the job, the filming, which will take place the next day all day, is to be outside in the freezing cold and snow. To Donald's dismay, Ann gets the part. As Ann tries to get better before the job with Donald at her side trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible, Ann comes down with another symptom: she loses her hearing. After feeling relief learning that the hearing loss is only temporary and a manifestation of the cold, Ann is still determined to make it to the commercial shoot. But can she work if she can't hear the director or her cues?

♪♪ [Italian]

[sneezing repeatedly]

Bless you.

There was three sneezes,
and only one "Bless you."

That's not very fair.

Honey, you should really
be home with that cold.

Oh, Donald, you know I
can't be home with a cold,

I've been waiting for
this audition for weeks.

It's just a commercial.

Just a commercial!

Oh, did I say just?



Yes, you did say just.

A commercial is
not a just, Donald.

It's money and it's acting,

both of which I need.

Ann, it's snowing
outside. Now look,

why don't you postpone it,

go home, and get into bed?

Is it "Feed a fever
and starve a cold,"

or "Starve a cold
and feed a fever?"

That's the same thing. Oh, no.

One you feed, the
other you starve.

No, no, no. You
said it's... Never mind.

Do you have a fever?

I don't think so.



You know, that would
be impossible to do.

What?

Just suppose I had
a cold and a fever.

How do you feed one
and starve the other?

That'd really be impossible.

Why don't you

postpone your
audition for a few days,

and go home and
take care of your cold?

Oh, Donald.

Anyway, I can't do that.

That commercial is about
an antifreeze for a car.

So they've been waiting
for weeks for a snowstorm

so they can shoot it outside.

When?

Tomorrow.

You're going to
spend all day tomorrow

out there in the
snow with that cold?

If I get the job.

Sure, that's the
other famous saying.

What? Get the
job, get pneumonia.

That's not a saying.

Mr. Hollinger,

may I suggest our special today

De Nino? What is it?

Oh, it's a special
pasta with sauce.

It's rather unusual

with a funny little noodle.

Unusual with a funny noodle?

I've already got it.

Where?

That girl.

♪♪ [theme]

[phone ringing]

[garbled] Hello?

Oh, hi, Seymour.

Could... just wait one second.

I have a thermometer
in my mouth.

[garbled] A thermometer.

Wait one second.

How come the only
word in the whole world

you can't say with a
thermometer in your mouth

is thermometer?

Have you heard anything
about my audition yet?

[knocking] Come in!

I'm sorry, Seymour.

Hi, Donald. Hi.

Listen, Seymour, call
me if you hear anything.

Okay. No, I'll be fine.

I promise, I'll be fine.

Bye.

You have a temperature?

Donald, everybody
has a temperature.

That's true.

Okay, are you normal?

Wait a minute. Let me
put that another way.

Do you have a fever?

Well, it's... it's 104.

104?

I was just kidding. I'm
kidding. Of course not.

It's 98.6. It's perfect.

That was your little joke, 104?

I'm sorry.

To someone who loves
you, 104 is a very dumb joke.

Someone who loves
you would've kissed me

the first minute he
came into the apartment.

Not before he found out

if you had 104
degree temperature.

That was safe. [chuckling]

Did you find out if you
got the commercial?

Uh, no, I... I
didn't find out yet.

[blowing nose]

Ann!

What?

You don't have 98.6.

You have 101.

What makes you
say a thing like that?

The thermometer makes
me say a thing like that.

That is 101. You have a fever.

Oh, Donald, for heaven's sake.

That's the silliest
thing I ever heard.

You're supposed to be so bright

and so logical and everything.

What are you talking about?

Well, you can't go
by what that says now,

it's been out of my mouth
for at least two minute.

Ann, if anything, it
would go down, not up.

It's not 101
degrees in this room.

Honey, you're still sick,
you can't do that commercial.

[sneezes]

[kettle whistling]

[muffled] Oh, my tea is ready.

Do you want some tea, Donald?

No, no, thank you.

[garbled] Honey, believe me,

it's not wrong.

We'll see, we'll see.

I'll just bet when you
take it out of your mouth,

you have 101, too.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah, 98.6. [laughing]

You did that purposely.

It's gone to your brain.

There's no question about it,

you have a cold in your brain.

Now you just sit there and relax

and sip your hot tea.

Aren't you... Aren't you...

Aren't you going into
your office? I'm pu...

[laughing] No, honey.

I'm going to stay right
here and write the article

because I can keep you company.

Oh, Donald, that's wonderful!

I mean, how many men in America

can just decide whether or not

they're going into
their office each day.

Every one of them.

Yeah, and that's what's
so good about America.

Now, honey, look, I
have a deadline to meet.

I know, I know. You don't
even have to say another word.

I'm going to be
quiet as a mouse.

You just go right
on with your work,

I'm not going to disturb
you or bother you.

I'll be very busy
doing my things.

[Ann counting]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 20.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
7, 8, 9... Ann?

What? What are you doing?

I'm jogging. [sneezes]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 20.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...

1, 2, 3, 4.1, 2, left, right.

[muttering]

Now what are you doing?

I'm doing my bendings
and my twistings.

1, 2, 3, 4... Ann.

Ann! What?

Why?

Because it's
Daddy's cold remedy.

It's really good. It works to...

It sweats the cold right out.

Okay, Donald. Come on
now. Hold my legs down.

Just come here and hold my legs.

Oh, honey... Come on.

It'll be worth it,
Donald, if it works.

[blowing nose] Okay, good.

Okay now, hold them down.

Okay here I go.

1, 2...

And I don't think I
can do it anymore.

There. The cold's all gone.

You feel better? Huh? Do you?

Let's go outside and
have a snowball fight.

Oh, Donald, don't make fun.

This could work. It could work.

Yeah, you're right.

Hey, listen, do you have
any chicken in the house?

[muffled] No, why?

Well, it's a long shot,
but it's worth a try.

You see, I've heard that if
you smother it in Vaseline,

then tie it to 3
feet of dental floss,

then swing it around your
head four times in a used car lot,

it stops bronchitis.

I'll call the butcher.

[groans]

Honey, you took your
temperature an hour ago.

You auditioning for a
Spanish band, Yolanda?

Donald, I have to
shake the thermometer

all the way down.

You only have to
shake it down under 98.

Aha! That's where you
happen to be wrong, Donald.

Last time, I only
shook it down to 97,

and my temperature
went up 4 points to 101.

So this time I'm going
to shake it down to 94.6,

and when it goes up
4 points, it'll be at 98.6

and I'll be normal.

Honey, I beg of you.

Tell me you really
don't believe that.

I didn't at first,
but it's worth a try.

Donald, I've just
got to be better

to get ready to do that
commercial tomorrow.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, Seymour, hi.

What's happening?

Oh, that's terrific!

Really?

Oh, you're kidding!

Oh, Seymour, that's wonderful.

You're terrific.

Well, where do I go?

Yeah. I know the place.

Okay. Bye, Seymour. Thanks.

You got it.

Yes, Donald, isn't
that wonderful?

No! Honey, no commercial is...

Oh, Donald, for heaven sakes.

Everybody gets colds
and they go away.

Now, I'm just going
to be gone for an hour.

Where are you going?
Right down the street.

I'm going to have a fitting on an outfit
I'm going to wear in the commercial.

It's only going to take
an hour. I'll be right back.

[blowing nose]

Bundle up.

[thump]

You're wearing your closet.

You said to bundle up.

Okay, honey. If
you're going, go.

You shouldn't have all
those clothes on in the house.

I know. You're right.

Okay.

Start me.

Oh, wait a minute. I've
got to have my tissues.

Okay. Thank you, Donald.

Okay, now, you work
good and everything,

and I'll be back
in a little while.

All right now,
honey... [sneezing]

Gesundheit. Now take
care of yourself. I will.

Keep the collar up. Okay.

Be careful!

Bye. Bye.

Pneumonia. She's
going to get pneumonia.

[grumbling]

[phone rings]

Hello?

Oh, Seymour. Yeah, it's Don.

No, she just left.

[doorknob jiggling]

[sneezing]

It's Jerk Frost.

Oh, come on, honey.

Now, you get out
of those things.

Seymour told me
you talked to him

about postponing the audition.

You're angry.

No, Donald, I'm not.

It's just that I feel so awful.

It's the cold.

Oh, no, it's not the cold.

Well, it's... It's
partly the cold.

But mostly it's not
feeling good for the job

because of the cold.

Probably losing the
job because of the cold.

Just feeling rotten all over

because of this darn cold.

So it's the cold.

In a way.

When are you supposed
to take your medicine again?

Uh, now.

Oh, I hate that medicine.

It makes me feel all woozy,

just like when I have some wine.

What is it?

It's called Elixir of Turpentine

or something.

Elixir Terpin Hydrate?

Yeah, that's it.

That's very good that
you knew that, Donald.

Honey, take your medicine.

You want to get
better, don't you?

Yes, I do.

[muttering]

Ugh.

Ick.

What's the matter?

Oh, this medicine tastes awful.

Why don't you hold your nose?

With what?

Is it 2:00 yet? Huh?

The time, is it 2:00 yet? Why?

Because if it's 2:00,
I've written exactly

11 lines in an hour,

which breaks my
kindergarten record.

I've been quiet.

[laughing]

What? What is it?
What's the matter?

Oh, nothing, except that
medicine kind of makes me

a little whee!

[laughing] You want
to go in and lie down?

No, I'm not tired.

I told you, it's the medicine.
It kind of makes me...

Whee!

[laughing] Yes, on the nose.

Nice shot.

Ooh. My nose feels all fuzzy,

like Novocain.

You know what?

What?

You're drunk.

Oh, Donald.

No, no.

Elixir Terpin
Hydrate can do that.

Well, if I am, it's not my fault

because I told you
in the first place,

I can't take Seltzer
Purple Hydrants.

Honey, honey, come...
Here, you get up,

and come over here and lie down.

Come on. Take it real slow.

Just come over here
and lie down on the couch,

and I'll put a blanket over you.

No, no, no, no!

I'm just going to lie
down here on the couch.

You go get me a blanket.

That's a good idea.

Okay.

[inhaling, exhaling]

You know something, Donald,

my nose is clearing up a lot.

[sniffles]

It's fuzzy, but it's clearing.

[sniffles]

♪ Put No-Freeze ♪

♪ In your car, ta-ta, ta-ta ♪

♪ It'll start up right away ♪

♪ So don't stall ♪

♪ And do it today ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

How about that, Donald?

That's the jingle I
do in my commercial.

Forget the commercial.

[yelling] I said,
that's the jingle

I do in my commercial.

I heard you.

Donald? Donald, where are you?

I'm here, honey.

Donald! Donald,
I can't hear you.

I-I really can't hear you.

And you're all fuzzy.

Me and your nose.

[yelling] What?

[louder] Me and your nose.

Donald I could just hear that,

just the littlest bit.

I think I'm going deaf!

Now, now. Just lie
down, just lie down.

I'm sure it's nothing
to worry about.

Hurry out? Hurry out?

Where are you going?

Yes, sir.

Yes, Doctor, yes.
Yes, I understand.

[yelling] What? Understand what?

Excuse me, Doctor,
just a second.

What? Just a second!

Did you tell him I'm deaf?

Honey, I'm telling him!

Now, what was...

[quieter] I'm sor... No,
I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry.

What was it?

I see.

I see, fine.

Yes, fine.

Thank you, Doctor,
thank you very much.

Yes, sir. Bye-bye.

What did he say?

Honey, don't shout
at me. I can hear you.

[quieter] Oh, I'm sorry.

What did he say?

He said he'll try to...

[slowly] He said
he'll try to get by,

but it's nothing to worry about.

[yelling] Nothing
to worry about!

Oh, sure, I have
nothing to worry about.

I'm half deaf,
and I'm half drunk,

and he says there's
nothing to worry about.

Sure, there's nothing
for him to worry about.

It's my ears and it's my nose,

and everything's all fuzzy,

and I'm not going to be
able to do that commercial,

and tissues.

Tissues?

I want my tissues!

Here.

[louder] Here.
Thank you, Donald.

I'm sorry. I don't know
what's wrong with me.

[blowing nose] Honey...

[louder] Honey, you have a cold.

The deafness is a normal thing.

The doctor says
it's an inflammation

of the eustachian
tubes in your ears.

It'll pass.

Who stuck tubes in my ears?

Honey.

Honey, try to rest.

When's Seymour going to
call about the commercial?

Honey, just rest.

Here, just lie
back here and rest.

That a girl. Don't worry.

[no audible dialogue]

[typewriter clacking]

Hello? Hello?

It didn't ring.

I can't hear.

I didn't know
that it didn't ring.

[loudly] Well, I can hear.

I'll tell you if it rings.

Don't shout at me!

You can't hear!

That's not

shouting because I
can't hear shouting,

that's shouting-shouting.

Oh. I'm sorry.

I'll tell you when it rings.

Oh, no you won't.

You don't want me to do
that commercial tomorrow

if Seymour calls and
says he can't switch it.

Look, in the first place, What?

[louder] In the first place,

I already told you
I wouldn't interfere.

And in the second place,

how could I possibly
know it's Seymour

when it rings?

Well, Donald, that's ridiculous.

What? How in the world

could I possibly know
how you would know

it's Seymour when it rings?

I got to finish this.

Hello? Hello?

[typewriter clacking]

[no audible dialogue]

[typewriter clacking]

[ring]

Hello? Hello?

I'm sorry, Donald. I
won't do it anymore.

It rang that time.

Honey?

Ann?

Honey!

It rang that time.

It did?

But there was nobody there.

Well, if you
couldn't hear it ring,

how could you possibly
hear somebody talking on it?

Oh, my gosh.

I'll bet it was Seymour
and I hung up on him.

0, 5, 1, 6.

Here, Donald, you ask for him.

Uh, Seymour Stone, please.

Uh, hello. I'm
calling for Ann Marie.

Did Seymour just call her?

Oh. [chuckling]

All right, thank you.
Thank you. Bye.

No? No.

Try my mother.

Honey, we can't
call... What? What?

[louder] Honey, we can't
call everybody you know.

Well, just my mother.

She's the only other
person it could be

that I want to
make sure it wasn't.

Joanne Taylor. Who's she?

Honey, we're all the
way up to the T's...

What? What?

[louder] We're all
the way up to the T's.

I am not dialing anymore.

Whoever it was will call back.

[sobbing]

Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, honey, okay.

What's Joanne's number?

No, never mind. You're right.

[whimpering] I'm a
miserable person.

[laughing] Honey, you are not.

You're a little dream.

No I'm not.

Everything's the matter with me.

I've got bad ears,

and I've got hundreds
of temperatures

and I'm ruining your day,

and I'm going to lose a job,

and I'm a stupid person,

and I hate myself.
I just hate myself.

Okay, honey, okay.

[ring]

Who are you calling?

It rang.

Oh! Who is it?

Hello? Oh, hi, Seymour.

Seymour, Seymour.
Let me talk to him.

Hello, Seymour? What's happened?

Oh, that's okay.
No, no, that's fine.

I'll be there.

What?

Oh, no. I feel terrific.

I'm fine.

Okay, bye.

Donald, they couldn't switch it,

so it's still on for tomorrow.

Ann, the doctor said you
should stay home tomorrow.

Oh, what does he know?

I know much more about
me than he does. Sure.

What you know about
yourself could fill a hospital.

What? What?

What? What?

All right, Harry, let's
run it through once.

You're in the car,
trying to start it.

Now, it'll grind and grind,

and it won't start. Right, okay.

Miss Marie, the
third time he grinds it,

you say... Harry!

You should've
winterized with No-Freeze!

Then he starts
to argue with you.

You turn your back
on him... What?

What? What?

You turn your back on him, hmm?

Harry, you try it again,

and you get out of the car...

[mouthing] and when you hear

the car door
slam, you stalk off.

You got it? Right,
right. [sneezing]

Bless you. Okay, let's
get it right the first time

and get out of here. [Ann] Okay.

[Director] Remember,
the third time

he grinds the starter, hmm?

Roll it.

Slate.

Action.

[ignition turns]

[ignition turns]

[ignition turns]

Cut!

I'm sorry. Miss Marie.

Yes? You can count?

You can count? Yes, sir.

Three! 1, 2, 3.

Huh? Yes, sir.

All right, slate! [sneezing]

Action!

[ignition turns]

[ignition turns] Harry!

You should've
winterized... Cut! Cut!

Miss Marie...

[ignition turns]

Come on!

[blowing nose]

[sniffles] I blew it.

I just saw.

No, I mean the commercial.

Probably my career as well.

That director would
never hire me again.

Ann. What?

You're beginning to hear better.

Oh, it is!

Oh, Donald, it really is!

It's only about
four hours too late.

Frankly, I couldn't care less

about your losing
that commercial.

It got you out of the snow,

and your hearing is better.

[phone rings]

Hello.

Oh, hi, Seymour.

You heard. Miss Floppo.

What?

You're kidding!

He did?

Well, when is it?

Oh, of course I could!

[gasps] Oh, that's terrific!

Oh, Seymour, thanks.

Oh, and thank him, too.

Okay, bye.

Donald, guess what.

That director for the
No-Freeze commercial,

he's not mad at me or anything.

What happened?

He understood
perfectly about my cold,

and tomorrow, he's doing
another commercial in the snow

and for a cold tablet.

And he says with all the symptoms
I already have going for me,

he'd like me to do it.

Ann, what's your
doctor's phone number?

I don't need him.

I know. I do.

You do? [laughing]

You know, Donald, I
was really terrific today.

I mean, all day working in
the snow, and not one mistake.

I was really terrific.

You were, honey. You
made me wish I had a cold

just to take one of those pills.

You can joke all you want,

but acting in a commercial
is still acting, you know.

I mean, I give it all my talent,

all my experience,
all my emotion,

everything I have.

Luckily, it was only a minute.

I was just about running out.

I'm going to have a
nice, warm brandy.

How about you?

Honey?

Ann? Can you hear me?

No.

Ann.

Ann! Shh, Donald, please.

I don't want a brandy.

And will you please be quiet?

I'm listening to the
people in the next building

having another one
of their arguments.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA