That Girl (1966–1971): Season 4, Episode 18 - Fly by Night - full transcript

Hello, Don Hollinger, please.

Hello, Elaine? Ann.

Hi. Has Donald
left the office yet?

How long ago?

Half hour?

He should have been here by now.

Oh, for heaven's sakes. Okay.

Bye. Thanks.

Aah!

Donald! How long have
you been standing there?

Well, just this second.



I was in the office
when you called Elaine,

and I told her to tell
you I left half an hour ago

and I rushed right over.

Oh, stop.

For heaven's sakes,
we're going to be late.

We're going to run into
heavy traffic on the highway

and Mother and Daddy
are going to be very worried.

No, they're not
going to be worried.

In the first place,
you can call them.

In the second place, we're not
going to drive, we're going to fly.

Oh, no. Oh, no, Donald.

No, siree, no siree, no!

Come on, honey, make
up your mind. Donald!

Honey, it's a ten-hour
drive to Vermont.



I'd be exhausted. It's
already late in the day.

And if we fly, we can be
there in a couple of hours.

But I hate to fly.
You know I hate to fly.

I get all things in my stomach,

including my heart.

Ann... Oh, Donald, please.

I just don't like it.

I mean, I really don't like it.

Honey, look,
it's perfectly safe.

And it would be a great
time and effort saver for me.

Now, I really wish you'd
consider it for my sake, please.

I know, I'm trying to.

I-I-I would like to.

It's just that I,
well, I just can't

because, you see, I just, I...

I'm being silly, aren't I?

Yes you are, a
little. It's quicker to fly

than it is to drive out
of New York state.

Yeah, I know.

Okay, all right. Let me call my
father and tell him we're flying.

Why don't we just surprise him?

Well, because I
think he ought to know

that we're flying just in case.

What airline is it?

We're not going on an airline.

We're going to go
on a private plane.

Oh, no!

Not this girl!

♪♪[theme]

Donald, is this a joke?

You know how I hate
flying to begin with.

I wouldn't go up
in a private plane.

Honey, what could be safer

than having a personal
friend for a pilot?

Donald, pilots shouldn't
be personal friends.

They should be unknown
strangers with gray hair

that are never seen in person.

Like presidents and angels.

Honey, he was an Air
Force hero in World War II.

I ran into him the other
day, we got to talking,

and he offered to fly us up.

You'll love him, I promise you.

And you'll love the flight.

I hate this, I really hate this.

All those instruments...
What do they do?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Well, they're all disconnected.

I was going to have
the whole panel re-wired,

but there wasn't time.

You mean we're flying blind?

Oh, not quite. I'm using V.F.R.

What?

That's Visual Flight Reference.

He spots landmarks
along the way.

That's right. Now look, Ann.

You see that V-shaped
body of water?

Uh-huh.

That's the Quabbin Reservoir.

Oh. And that road on the left,

that's Route 202.

That means we're
headed true north.

We should hit Vermont
in about ten minutes.

Couldn't you use "arrive
at" instead of "hit"?

Look at that huge cloud coming.

How are you going to spot
landmarks through a cloud?

That's a good question.

Donald, take me home.

Just close your
eyes and try to relax.

Everything's going to be okay.

Okay. [thunder]

Donald! Oh, Donald.
We're in terrible trouble.

Much worse than we thought.

Hey, what are you talking about?

Donald, something
out of our past life

just passed in front of me.

You know what they say,

Just when you're about to drown,

your whole life
passes in front of you.

How can we drown?
We're in a plane.

We can fall in the water.

We're not over water.

We're near the Atlantic Ocean.

Oh, don't worry about that, Ann.

We haven't got
enough gas to reach it.

Oh, swell.

I've said the wrong thing.

Donald, Donald, I'm sorry.

For what?

For everything.

Whatever I ever did to you
that was wrong, I'm sorry.

And if we land safely,
I promise I'll never

do anything bad again
if I ever did it before.

Honey, you've never
done anything bad.

Oh, yes, Donald, yes, I have.

What? I don't know, I'll
think of something, I hope.

Because if I can apologize
and promise to never

do anything bad again, I'll
have something to bargain with.

Oh, please, Donald.
Please, I have to think,

to think of something,
because I need it.

Okay, you think.

Go ahead. You
just, you just think.

[thunder]

Do you think you'll
be able to get out?

I don't know. We can try.

Well, look, you'll
have to drive.

Oh, Donald!

One of us has to drive,
and one of us has to push.

If it's multiple
choice, I'll drive.

Now, now look,

what we have to do is
take it slow and easy,

and there's a good
chance we can get out.

Now what you have to
do is ease out the clutch

very slowly.

Very slowly.

Right. Now, okay, start the car.

Okay. [engine starting]

Okay, now, okay, as
you ease out the clutch,

please, just
give it a little gas.

Just a little gas, okay?

Okay, a little gas.

Okay, okay now.
All right, wait a...

All right, any time.

[engine revving]

Oh, Donald, I gave
it just a little gas.

[thunder]

Thanks. For what?

You just ripped up
a letter to my mother.

Wait a minute, what are you
doing? Where are you going?

I'm going to do the
thing I should have done

the minute we
started to disagree.

Ann, Ann, wait, my pages.

Donald, if this play
can make me do a thing

like tear up a letter
to your mother,

than anything can happen.

And I simply cannot
allow this play

to jeopardize our relationship.

Ann!

Oh, Donald, don't worry.

It was pretty close there for a
while, but we're all right now.

No, we're not.

No, you're not. Not until
we get my pages back.

Donald, don't you understand?

That play was threatening...

Ann, you want to hear
some real threatening?

No.

Then let us run, not walk,
downstairs and get those pages back.

But, Don... Ann, listen.

Now, I don't know how
your pages were written,

but mine were written
with blood, sweat and tears

and no blood, sweat and tears of
mine are going to end up in the rubbish.

Now maybe it will
never make Broadway,

but it is definitely not going to
end up in the rubbish. Clear?

Clear.

Hey, here's half of page 18.

Half? How'd it get torn in half?

Donald, you can blame me for
putting the pages in the chute,

but you can't blame me for what
happened to them on the way down.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Here's
6, 5, and here's 8.

Here's page 42.

Marvelous.

I didn't write a page 42.

Oh, this is one of mine.

It's the part where Daddy's
in the middle of saying hello.

You know, Donald, I think I see
something stuck up in the shoot.

I'm going to go take a look.

Oh, Donald.

I'm sorry.

Forget it. Forget it.

Just help me up.

Okay. Donald, I was right.

I did see something
stuck up in that chute.

But I couldn't reach it.

Here, help me up again.

All right, put your foot
in here. Be very careful.

All right. Just hold on.

Okay, I am. Okay. Hold
on. Give me both your feet.

Okay, push. All right.

Come on.

Okay, hold on.

Just hold on, honey.
I'll be right there.

Hold on, darling.
Don't move, honey!

All right, honey.

Hold on. Okay, honey,

I'm here, are you all right?

Yeah. Can you push me
up just a little bit higher?

Higher? Okay,
honey, but be careful.

Oh, this is much better.

I've almost got it.

Can you reach it?

It's right at my fingertips.

Can you get it?

I got it!

What is it?

Somebody else's rubbish.

Honey, honey!

[thunder]

What was that?

That was a clap of thunder.

Sure, the weather gets applause.

It's doing all its great
tricks and we're just nothing.

I just hate funny
noises, Donald.

Okay, okay, okay.

[ringing]

[ring]

2 in the morning?

Hello?

[whispers] Donald!

[whispers] Ann?

Oh, Donald. Donald.

I've never been so
scared in my whole life.

Well, what's wrong?
Why are we whispering?

Because there's
something in my apartment,

and it might hear us.

Who?

It's not a who, it's an it.

Well, what kind of an it?

If I knew, it wouldn't
be an it, it'd be a what.

Now, honey, honey, look,

you probably had a bad dream.

I did not have a dream.

Donald, please come over here.

Aw, honey, now
look, you know I would,

but I've got all
this research to do.

All right, Donald.

I'll beg you if that's
what you want.

Ann.

No, forget it. Just
please do me a big favor

and forget that I ever called.

I'm very sorry
that I bothered you.

And remember, Donald,

that I love you, and I
probably always would have.

Thank you. Good
luck on your work.

Good night.

[crackling]

Aah!

[thunder]

Oh, Donald! I hate funny noises.

[banging]

[running water]

[thunder]

Yes, I could get up to that pipe

and swing my legs
through the window.

[muffled] Donald!

Listen. What?

Shh. Donald, listen.

What? It's going
to be all right.

We're going to be
all right now, Donald.

Listen... To what?

To the silence.

It's quieter now.

It's a lot quieter.

It's quiet now, Jon. Is
that good? The quiet?

I'm afraid not, Ann.

Our engines have cut out.

We're out of gas.

Aah!

Aah!

Honey, honey, honey, honey.

What? Look, we're
going to be all right.

Now, this is a small
plane and we can glide

until we find a
safe place to land.

Isn't that right, Jon?

That is absolutely right.

Really? Oh, yes.

And I really believe that once
we get below this cloud bank,

we'll be able to see a clearing.

My fault. It's all my fault.

Now, honey, now don't be silly.

I convinced you to fly.

Not for flying, for the weather.

Ann. Oh, yes, Donald.

If I hadn't been so...
Whatever bad I was,

I wouldn't be being
punished now.

You know, that
reminds me of a joke.

How could it?

I did it again. You
see, I did it again.

I'm bad, I'm really bad, Donald.

I'm just bad, bad, bad.

Just bad, bad, bad.

Bad person.

All right now, Ann, explain.

I explained about last night.

I was too tired to
go to the movies.

Too tired? Yeah, but
you weren't too tired

to run around town
in a leopard skin.

The leopard skin has
got nothing to do with it.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's the
exposed part you were arrested for.

I was not arrested for that.

Then what were you arrested for?

I don't know exactly.

Ann, how can you not know?

Donald, if you're not going to
give me a chance to explain,

then I don't want
to talk about it.

I mean, I think it's pretty sad

when a person can't discuss a little
thing like this without becoming nasty.

A little thing? Like getting
arrested in a leopard skin?

There's a perfectly
logical explanation

for everything if
you'll just listen.

All right.

All right, I'm listening.

[thunder]

[no audible dialogue]

It's all right, it's all right!

Don't worry, don't worry.

This is an express
elevator to the 16th floor.

When we get there, we take
the express to the 32nd floor.

They've got to
take the locals up.

By the time they
get to the 16th floor,

they won't know
whether we took the locals

back down or the express up.

And by that time,
we can call the police.

The whole building
will be surrounded.

[muffled shout] Don't
worry, please don't worry.

I know exactly what I'm doing.

I'm having a heart attack.

[muffled shout]

Wait a minute.
Shh, wait a minute.

Come on now, here
we are. Come on.

Now, come on. Will
you wait a minute?

I'm trying to help
you, now stop it.

Now, wait a minute.

Stop, stop it.

Will you stop it, please?

You're tearing my face... you're
ripping my face, you crazy person!

Who do you think...
What are you doing?

Will you get ahold of yourself?

What are you doing?

What am I doing?
What are you doing?

I'm saving your life.

Well, thanks. Thanks, a lot.

Don't worry about that.
You can thank me later.

Thank you, for what?
For ruining my career?

How's my saving your life going to
stop you from selling candy and gum?

I am not a gum
seller, I am an actress.

Or was.

Yeah, but, but those two guys.

Those weren't guys,
those were actors.

What? Yes, we were
shooting a commercial.

But who comes charging
into the scene like...

Captain Dum-Dum.

[thunder]

I am an actress.

I am an actress.

And I come down this
fabulous, long staircase.

40 steps.

Real slow.

[Donald] Beautiful.

And then when I get to
the bottom of the steps,

I just stand there, all
beautiful and everything,

and, and... [thunder]

Oh, Donald. We're
not acting like us.

Well, how was I supposed to act?

I mean, we're so
uncomfortable with each other.

And why?

I mean, this is no different

than just sitting
around my apartment.

Oh, yes it is. Yes, it is.

We're in a hotel
with strange pajamas,

and when I say good night,
I'm going to stay right here.

That's the difference.

That's also why
you're a little nervous.

I'm a lot nervous.

And it's silly.

After all, you're a grown
man and I'm a woman.

That's what you're
nervous about.

Right.

Ann, look, look,
I've got an idea

that might make
you relax a little more.

What?

Well, we'll have an all-night
gin rummy game, okay?

Oh, that's a great idea.

All right? Yeah.

I'll go get some cards.

[thunder]

Ann, what are you doing?

[Ann] I'm washing my face.

Are you finished with the bed?

Yes, why don't you go
and get a little more sleep.

I'll go down into the
lobby when I'm finished.

[knocking]

Who is it?

A happy father-in-law!

Daddy! Oh, you remember me.

Now, just ask her
before losing control.

Ask me what? Are you married?

Of course not.

Oh, that's a relief.

A man answers the
phone in her room

in the middle of the night,

and you're relieved
she's not married?

Is that what started
this whole thing?

That was only Donald.

It's only Donald,
hiding in the bed?

He's just trying to catch up

on all the sleep
he lost last night.

Good to see you again.

[thunder]

Take a letter, please.

To who it may concern...

Uh, that should be whom.

I made it whom.

Right, right. Well,
I was just testing.

When someone is as
crazy about another person

as I am about you...

These are business
hours, and I...

Miss Marie, it is your job
to take dictation from me.

The content of the dictation
is my responsibility, not yours.

Yes, sir.

Now, read that
back to me, please.

"When someone is as
crazy about another person

as I am about you..."

I like the sound of that.

Read it again, please.

Uh, would you read that
back to me please, Ms. Marie?

"When someone is as
crazy about another person

as I am about you..."

Very good.

"It is impossible to have a
business-like relationship.

"My feelings toward you
are intensely personal.

"And the strain of
pretending to be impersonal

"has shortened my temper,

"impaired my judgment,

"jeopardized my career,

"and, most important of all,

"has estranged me from
the person I care for the most.

Namely, the aforesaid you."

Will you read that
back to me please?

"The strain of
these past few days

"has been
unbearable for me, too.

"And for the same
reasons you mentioned.

My temper and disposition have
been even worse than yours."

[thunder]

Hang on! What?

We're gliding under
the clouds now.

I'm going to try to find
a spot to set her down.

Good luck, buddy.

Jon, can I say something?

Why, sure, Ann.

Don't do anything silly.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA