That Girl (1966–1971): Season 4, Episode 17 - That Metermaid - full transcript

[knock on door] Yeah?

Hi. Anybody here for a
steak sandwich, medium rare,

with onion rings on the side?

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

That's okay. You win.

French fries on the side.

Honey, I can't. I gotta work.

We've got a new editor, and he's
moved all deadlines up a week.

I gotta finish this thing today.

Didn't you tell him this is our
day to have lunch together?

Well, I thought I'd hit him
with the more important things



after he's been
here for a while.

[laughs] What's he like?

I don't know, honey. I've
just been introduced to him.

I guess he's like the
head of any big magazine.

What's the assignment?

It's ridiculous, honey.

It's an article on
"the interaction

of control societal
motivated groups

in variegated
economical strata."

Can I help?

I'll go out and bring us
back some sandwiches.

Honey, I don't know how
Franks is gonna like the idea

of you hanging
around the office.

Franks?



Yeah, the new
editor, Lewis Franks.

Not Lewis M. Franks.

Yeah. Do you know him?

Do I know him?

Donald, if your new
editor is Lewis M. Franks,

you just tell him
that you are going

to be a day late
with your assignment

because you are very busy

spending some
time having lunch...

with... that girl.

♪♪ [theme]

It's gonna be great
seeing Lewis again.

Are you sure he's
gonna remember you?

Yes, sir. You can go
right in, Miss Marie.

Right through there.

[laughs] Ann, how are you?

Oh, Lewis! What a surprise!

Oh, it's so great to see you!

Let me look at you.

How long's it been? Four years?

Oh, no! Five! Five years?

You haven't changed a bit!

Ahem!

Oh, you know Donald
Hollinger, my boyfriend.

Oh, of course. I didn't
know he was your boyfriend.

How are you, Don?

So you're out of the
parking ticket business, huh?

I haven't given a ticket
since that summer.

She gave you a parking ticket?

No, I think I'm the only one

that she didn't give
a parking ticket to.

You see, when I first met Ann,

she was working as a meter maid.

Oh?

Yeah, that was my job.

I was a meter maid
for the whole summer.

In Brewster?

No, in Fenwick, before
we moved to Brewster.

Daddy got me the job.

He was almost as
excited about it as I was.

Ann? Ann, come on down here.

I want to see how you look.

The eggs were too loose.

Tomorrow, I'll put
out a screwdriver.

You can tighten them up.

Paper come yet? In the kitchen.

Ann! Where are you?
I've got to get to work!

I want to see how you look!

Ta-da!

Ta-da!

That is the last
ta-da I'm doing.

Oh! Daddy! Hey! Let's see!

What do you think?
How do I look?

Do I answer that as a father

or as a potential
overtime parker?

Now, Daddy, you've
got to understand.

While I'm on duty, I cannot
think of you as my father.

You are just another
New York license plate.

That's gratitude for you.

If it wasn't for my
influence with the mayor,

you wouldn't even
be in that uniform.

Oh, look, it's the fuzz.

How do you like it, Laura?

Does it go to the
cleaners, or do I wash it?

It goes to the cleaners.

I love it.

Well, Daddy, am I
a figure of authority?

The mayor didn't
hire you as a model.

And do you know anything
about this meter job?

Oh, Daddy, there
is nothing to it.

Bye, Daddy.

Oh, sir, is this your car?

Police department, please.

Hi. It's meter maid
Marie speaking.

Oh, fine.

Listen, I have to order
a tow truck right away.

To tow a car away.

Why?

Well, because...
well... well, because.

Here.

"The law provides
that any vehicle

"being parked in
front of a fire hydrant

shall be liable to removal
by the designated authorities."

That's me.

Three meters south
of Main and Clark.

Thank you. Bye.

Resting? Oh!

Oh, no, no. I'm one of you.

Well, if I may say so,

you look much better in
your uniform than I do in mine.

Thank you. Sergeant... sir.

You're the new girl, huh?

Yes, I am. Meter maid Marie.

I'm just doing this
for the summer.

I see.

Oh, but I'm very dependable.

As a matter of fact, I
just called a tow truck

to pick up that car.

Oh, have you now? Mm-hmm.

Hydrants violations
regarding, page 18.

A ticket and a tow truck.

Well, that car isn't
going anywhere.

But you can tow
away the ticket. What?

The ticket. Forget it.

Oh, but, sir, that's definitely
a hydrant, and the book...

The book made a mistake.

My book? All the books.

You see, that car happens
to belong to Jim Swanson.

Mayor Swanson? That's right.

And we don't give
tickets to the mayor.

But that's a fire hydrant.

I mean, what if
there was a fire?

Where would the
firemen ever plug in on...

They'd find on somewhere!

Now just be a nice little
girl and void the ticket.

Well... Well,
officer, sir, I mean,

I just really... I
couldn't... Void it!

I'm sorry, sir, but
I just can't do that.

I mean, if you don't
give the mayor a ticket

then how do you explain it to the
councilman when you give them tickets?

You don't give
them tickets, either.

Well, fine. Why overlook
the postman and... and the...

Park commissioner.

Yeah, the park...

He doesn't get them, either?

And don't you forget it.

And that goes for the deputy
mayor, the sheriff, and the judge.

All of them? Where
does it all stop?

It stops with me,
a restaurant owner.

Daddy, this whole
thing is a lot bigger

than I ever would have imagined.

Corruption is running rampert.

Rampant!

What's rampert?

Oh, yeah. ♪
Gallantly streaming ♪

Look, honey, why don't you
save yourself a lot of trouble.

Don't rock the boat.
You can't fight the system.

I'm not gonna
fight it! That a girl!

I'm gonna change it.

Ann... [phone rings]

Hello?

Of course I'll speak to him.

Can you tell me what it's about?

My Ann?

Oh, sure. Put him on.

It's the mayor.

Well, are you beginning
to get the picture, Donald?

Knowing you, yes.

What did the mayor
want? My resignation.

But she wouldn't give it to him.

That's my girl. So he fired me.

And you took it to
the highest court.

No, I took it to the
highest newspaper.

The Fenwick Clarion,
Lewis M. Franks, publisher.

You?

A younger me.

A little less dressing,
but a lot more vinegar.

So, the very next day,

I rushed over to Lewis' office,

and I told him the whole thing.

Well, it's just terrible!

I mean, just about
everybody in town is in on it

except for the dog catcher.

Well, Ann, I know
exactly how you feel.

I'd like to help you, but, uh...

petty corruption isn't exactly
front-page material, you know?

Oh, I see.

Well, thank you very
much, Mr. Franks.

It's obvious that I've
come to the wrong place.

You're not the only newspaper
in Fenwick, you know.

Yes, you are!

Mr. Franks...

Why don't you
just call me Lewis?

Thank you, Lewis.

Mr. Franks, this year we
took a course in ancient history.

I mean, we studied about the
decline and fall if the Roman Empire.

Do you know how it collapsed?

Well, I have a feeling
it has something to do

with Caesar leaving his
chariot in a "No Parking" zone.

Exactly!

Exactly?

Well, maybe not exactly, but...

But it did have to do
with internal corruption.

But, Ann, that was corruption.

You know, corruption
in big letters.

The trouble in Fenwick is
corruption in little people.

Yeah, but do we even have
to have a little corruption here?

I mean, where does big
corruption come from?

Little corruption.

It... It feeds on graft.

It drinks on scandal.

It breathes on vice...

and it thrives on lust.

Well, maybe you can
forget about the thrives on.

You know what
the trouble is, Ann?

The trouble is that you and
I, we think of it as corruption.

But Sergeant Melvin, the
mayor, the city councilman,

they think of it as
accommodation.

I just don't understand that,

why we spent so much
time studying about Rome

and learning about right
and wrong and how to act

if you just put us down for
trying to apply it in your world.

Us old folks, huh?

[chuckles] No, I... Hmm.

All right, all right.

You know what I'm gonna do?

You go home, and
you write your letter,

and I'm gonna run it
in next week's addition.

You are?

Oh, Mr. Franks, that's terrific!

Oh, thank you!

I'm gonna go right
home right now

and I'm gonna start
working on it right today!

Ann.

In addition to "thrives on,"

I'd leave out the decline
and fall of the Roman Empire.

Yeah, you're right.

No decline and fall, just...

just leave that right out.

Where will I start?

Shakespeare.

Something's rotten
in the state of Fenwick.

Something's very rotten
in the state of Fenwick.

Something's rotten to the
core in the state of Fenwick.

"Something is rotten in Fenwick,

"the town in which I was
employed as a meter maid.

"I wish to make known a
situation which exists in our town

"that I am sure your readers
will find utterly abhorrent

as indeed I did."

Ann? Ann!

[Ann] What? Where are you?

Come on down here!

What is it, Daddy?

Do you know what you've done?

The Clarion! Is my letter in it?

Yes, your letter's in it.

Now, young lady,
start explaining.

Wait a minute. Explain!

But, Daddy... I'm not
interested in your explanations!

Daddy, will you stop
getting so upset?

I only said what had to be said.

Who said it had to be
said? My conscious.

Your conscious doesn't
have to do business every day

with the mayor and
the town council.

Daddy, everything
I said is true.

If there's anything you
ever taught me it was that.

That's right. I told
you to say what's true,

not to write it in a
letter to the editor.

[phone rings]

Hello.

Oh... Oh, hello,
Mayor. How are you?

Did I what?

See this morning's paper?

Hang on. It's right here.

Oh, yes, the thing
about the sewer taxes.

Great idea, Jim.
Yeah, yes, siree.

You're doing great
things in sewage.

Oh? Not that?

Letter section?

Wrote a letter, did you?

Oh. Hang on.

Well, how do you like that?

You don't.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Yeah. Uh, look, Jim...

Yes, you're right, Jim.

Totally right, Jim.

Uh-huh.

Now... now wait a minute, Jim.

Now hold it, Jim.

No, Jim. Now you listen to me.

No, my daughter wrote that
letter without consulting me.

That's all I can say
in my own defense.

And it's a good thing
she didn't consult me

because I would have
told her everything wrong.

First off, I would have told
her not to write the letter,

not to get involved,
not to say what she felt,

not to challenge the wrongs
of the older generation.

And I'll tell you
something else, Jim.

I'm mighty proud of
what my daughter did.

What do you think of that?

And if you want her to
be punished, don't tell me.

Write a letter to the editor.

You what?

Do whatever you want.

Daddy! Oh, Daddy,
you were wonderful!

Don't you wonderful me.

I haven't finished with you yet.

What did the mayor say? He
seemed pretty mad at the end there.

Nothing! Nothing!
I'll see you tonight.

I hope you didn't miss anything.

I wonder what the mayor could
have said to Daddy at the end?

Daddy really sounded
like it was important.

Your father has to
go before the mayor

and the city council this week

to get permission to
extend his parking lot.

The mayor probably told him
he was gonna vote against it now.

Oh, no, he wouldn't do that.

I read your letter,
Ann. He'll do it.

And the other
councilmen will do it, too.

Well, that's terribly wrong!

That's just not right!

That's wrong, isn't it?

Laura, don't you
think that's wrong?

What kind of a political machine
is present here in Fenwick?

You're asking me?

Of course I'm asking
you. Don't you care?

Don't you want to
help clean up Fenwick?

As soon as I finish
cleaning your room

and the rest of the house,

if I get a few
minutes, I'll look into it.

Well, I'm sorry if the letter caused
you embarrassment, Mr. Mayor.

However, I can't
print a retraction.

The... The young lady
that wrote the letter

had every right to
say what she did.

That's called freedom of speech.

And I had every
right to print it.

That's called freedom of press.

Well, now if you can prove
that her statements are false...

I'm well aware of that, yes.

Well, that's fine. Fine! Fine!

It certainly is your right!
It's called freedom of money!

Oh, my gosh. You, too.

Who's the owner of Fenwick's
largest department store?

Mayor Swanson, right?

He just withdrew all of his
advertising from the Clarion.

Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.

He practically got all of the
other advertisers to do the same.

Well, that's terrible!

That's downright undemocratic!

No, no. The problem is
that it's very democratic.

I even lost Morton's
Funeral Home.

They're going to put all
their advertising in radio.

Oh, gee, that's too bad.

Hardly wait to hear the jingles.

Well, what are we gonna do?

[sighs] Well... I'm
going to the library

and get a book on
how to starve to death.

Oh, gee, Mr. Franks,
I'm so sorry.

I got you involved in this,
and now you're all messed up...

No, no, Ann, that
is not true. Not true.

I printed your letter,
and I'm proud of it.

You're a wonderful girl,

and you're gonna be
a wonderful woman.

And rich, too, I hope.

'Cause I may be able
to use a few dollars.

Okay. Okay.

I know what has to be done.

This town is rotten
to the core, right?

I'm going to the core.

Yes, Mona.

[Mona] Mr. Mayor, Mrs. Harris
from the Women's League is here.

I'm in a conference
with Councilman Diggs.

She'll just have to wait.

And the gentleman from
Save Our Parks is still waiting

along with the
Centennial Committee.

They'll all have to wait!

Well! I got you blitzed
in the first game. Deal.

My wife's waiting for me.

Deal.

All right.

I really should go.
Just keep dealing.

Did you cancel your
ads with Franks?

Sure, but it's not gonna
help my business any.

Well, when we get a retraction,

we'll start taking ads again.

[women yelling]

I'm sorry, sir!

I told her you were
in a conference.

I'm very sorry, sir,
but... You've got gin.

I dealt myself gin? Who are you?

Wait a minute. Lew
Marie's daughter, right?

That's right, sir.

I dealt myself gin.

Miss Poison Pen.

I'm very sorry, Mr. Mayor,

but I was just exercising
my right as a citizen.

Well, if it's exercise you want,

just turn around and
jog right out of this office.

I'm a citizen!

Oh, citizen, yes. A
voter, no. You go, Mayor.

You're supposed to be
the mayor of all the people

over and under 21.

Don't mix up your cards,
Jim. This hand counts.

Should I call the chief?

And you can call the
marines, too, if you like!

That would make a fine headline!

"Big Jim called the
marines and the police

just to get rid of one
little meter maid!"

It's okay, Mona,
you can go. [crying]

Why are you sobbing?

'Cause I'm scared.

Sit down.

I don't really want to sit down.

I just want to tell you
what I have on my mind

and then I want to leave.

Go ahead, Jim. Pick up a card.

I always used to get
along with your father.

Some get along!

I write a letter, and you won't
even extend his parking lot.

Well, this is a world of favors.

Well, then I'd like
you to do me a favor.

Let me just say what
I have on my mind.

Okay, Jim, you go.

Okay, I did write that letter.

And what did you do to me?

Nothing, that's
what you did to me!

But you took it out on my father

who had absolutely
nothing to do with it

except you call my father
having something to do with it

which wouldn't stand up
in any logical explanation.

Do you ever breathe? Now.

And then you try to
put him out of business.

And if that wasn't enough,

you went after Mr. Franks,

who was only doing what
he was supposed to do,

printing letters to the editor.

And if he doesn't kowtow to you,

he's gonna be out
of business, too.

I did all that? I
dealt myself gin.

You did more than that!

You said that you
were the mayor,

and you could do
anything you wanted,

and that makes you A
South American dictator!

Honey, I'm proud of you.

That took a lot of courage
standing up to those men,

and they backed down.

Well, the laughed
me out of their office.

Yeah, but I mean your father got everything
straightened out with his restaurant.

Well, not exactly.

Two months later, Daddy
was out of business.

That's when we
moved to Brewster.

And that's when Lewis put out

the greatest edition
ever of the Clarion.

Well, I don't know
whether it was the greatest,

but it certainly was the last.

I keep a copy around
just to remind me.

"Corruption starts
with little things."

That's the greatest thing
that ever happened to me,

being run out of town.

Got me out of a
weekly newspaper...

and eventually...
to this little place.

Yeah!

There you go, Ann.

And I've been blaming
Mr. Franks. For what?

Well, for my assignment.

If you hadn't gotten him here,

I never would have had to do it.

Well, Don, I owe Ann something.

Why don't you just
forget the assignment?

Oh, well, I don't
know, Mr. Franks.

That smacks a
little of influence.

You know, a bit of the
decline of the Roman Empire.

I think I'll stick with it.

Well, I had another
assignment that takes precedent.

Oh! If it's lunch, I vote yes.

Don? Make that two votes.

Well, that's more
than Big Jim got

the next time he tried to run.

Where would you
like to eat, Ann?

Well, that all depends.

If the big publisher is buying,

I know a fabulous French
restaurant I'd love to go to.

And if the young
writer is buying,

there's a nice homely little
hamburger spot we could all go to.

Oh, don't be silly.

No, it'll be my treat,

and we'll go to the most
expensive place in town.

There's nothing to worry about.

I just put it on my
expense account.

Huh?

Uh... uh...

Maybe we'll order
from the coffee shop.

Do you like peanut
butter and jelly?

[phone rings]

Hello.

Yes, Mr. Franks.

Yes, sir. I'll be
done in five minutes.

Yeah, right. Bye.

[phone rings] Hello.

Oh, hi, Jerry.

Nothing much. Just
sitting here talking with Ann.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA