That Girl (1966–1971): Season 4, Episode 16 - Opening Night - full transcript
Ann is nervous about the opening night of the first ever Broadway play in which she is performing. Everything that day is making her jumpy, even all the small things both Donald and her father do to try and calm her nerves. So she kindly asks them to leave so that she can be all alone to get some rest. She regrets doing so as, with a handful of hours left until curtain time, Ann gets her finger stuck in her kitchen faucet, and the telephone is just out of reach so she can't call anyone for help. Ann does eventually get close enough to the telephone to pick up the receiver, but dialing is a whole different matter. Will Ann be able to telephone for assistance in time to make her own opening night?
[no audible dialogue]
[phone rings]
What?
Oh, hi, Donald.
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
Well, sure, a little jumpy.
Listen, Donald, I just want
to be totally alone today,
so why don't you come over?
That didn't come
out the way I meant.
What I mean is you and me alone.
Can you come?
Oh, oh, great.
When will you be here, Donald?
Oh! Oh, good. Hurry. Bye.
Hi. This is Ann Marie.
Will you please answer all of
my calls on the first ring today?
Huh?
Isn't this Gloria's
Answering Service?
Oh. Then don't answer my calls.
[Woman] Gloria's
Rapid Answering Service.
Hold on, please.
Sorry to keep you
waiting. Be right back.
Yes, may I help you?
Hi. This is Ann Marie.
Oh, hi, Ann. This is
Gloria. How are you?
Oh, I'm... I'm...
You must be awful nervous
about your opening tonight.
Yeah. I... I really am, Gloria.
Listen, Gloria, would you...
Hold on, honey. Gloria!
I put him on hold.
Good luck, tonight, Ann.
Gloria, will you
please stop talking
so I can tell you why I called?
Now calm down
and tell me what it is.
Well, I just want...
[buzzer] Oops. Hold it.
Oh, that girl!
♪♪ [theme]
Oh, Gloria, I want you
to take all my calls today.
I'm just way too nervous
to answer the phone.
Oh, and please try and
get it on the first ring.
Okay. Do great tonight, Annie.
Thanks. I'll try my best. Bye.
[buzzer] Oops. Hang on.
What for? I just said...
Yes, Ann, what was it?
I was just saying good-bye.
Oh? Then why are
you still holding on?
[knock on door] Come in.
Hi, honey. Oh, hi, Donald.
Donald, I'm so glad you're here.
Okay, now you just
sit down here and relax.
What's that?
Oh, it's this dumb match puzzle
I used to play when
I was a little girl.
Now matter how nervous,
upset, or depressed I got.
I would work on this puzzle,
and I'd forget about everything.
That's great. How do you do it?
I forgot.
Uh, honey, can I
make a suggestion?
The best way to pass time? Hmm?
Sleep. Why don't
you try taking a nap?
Donald, look at me. I
couldn't possibly sleep.
Well, try it. If it works,
it'll be a blessing.
[sharpener buzzing]
Honey, this is bothering you.
Oh, no. I was just
thinking about the reviews.
They'll be terrific.
You really think so, Donald?
Raves, every one of them.
I hope so.
In the cast was a Broadway
newcomer, Edna Marie.
Miss Marie, however,
cannot be blamed
for her performance last night.
The blame lies with the doorman
who failed to keep
her out of the theater.
[typing continues]
As a young Westchester wife,
Ann Marie demonstrated
she has a pretty face,
a nervous manner,
and an urgent need
for vocational guidance.
[typing continues]
The role of a suburban housewife
was played by Ann Marie,
a young actress unknown
to the Broadway stage...
and obviously
destined to remain so.
[typing continues]
[knock on door]
Oh, who's that?
Daddy. Look who's here.
Hi. Isn't this a nice surprise?
Oh, yes, it certainly is.
Hi, Mr. Marie.
Oh, hi, Hollinger.
I see we both
have the same idea.
Keep Ann occupied during the day
so she won't get nervous
before the opening, right?
Uh, yes... yes, sir.
Two key words,
right? What's that?
Peace and quiet.
Right, honey? Right.
Well, here I am.
From now till curtain
time, I'm with you.
You can take a break
if you like, Hollinger.
Well, I... I think I'll just hang around
a little while longer. Thank you, sir.
Suit yourself.
Where's Mother?
You know Mother.
Her daughter's
opening on Broadway,
so she went out
to buy a new dress,
get a manicure, and
have her hair done.
She's gonna meet me
at the theater. Oh, good.
Now, honey, why don't you go in
the kitchen and fix me a sandwich
and put on a pot of coffee,
and we'll sit here
peacefully and quietly.
Boy, oh, boy,
that's great coffee!
Oh, good. Good, Daddy.
Not every father
has his coffee made
by a Broadway star
before her opening night.
No, no. How's your throat?
My throat?
I read somewhere
where an actress
suddenly lost her voice just
before her opening performance.
Oh. No, my... my
throat's fine. [clears throat]
It wasn't anything medical.
It was just nerves that did it.
Oh, brother. What?
That new play that opened
last night is closing Saturday.
Oh, no!
240,000 bucks down the
drain in five performances.
What a business. Daddy!
Oh, of course, not your show.
Your show is different.
Uh, it's what the public wants.
Lots of laughs.
Daddy, my play
is a serious drama.
Drama and laughs, that's
what the public wants.
Uh, why don't you and
I play a game of cards?
I came over to entertain my
daughter, Hollinger, not you.
Yeah, well, let's play anyway.
I promise I won't
be entertained.
Daddy, what time do you have?
Exactly 3:00.
Five hours until D-Day.
Daddy! Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Now look, just sit
back and try to relax.
Yeah, maybe I will.
Hold it down, Hollinger.
[slurps]
[slurps]
[water roaring]
[chewing]
[crash]
[tapping]
[drums]
Donald!
Donald, will you please
come into the kitchen?
I'd like top speak
to you for a minute.
Anything I can do, Ann?
Oh, no, Daddy,
everything's just great.
Are you okay? Yes.
Donald... Donald,
would you be upset
if I told you I just wanted
to be alone today?
I mean really alone.
Not you and me alone,
but just me alone... alone.
Honey, I wouldn't
be upset at all.
Oh, good.
Do you think Daddy
would be upset
if you told him I wanted
to be alone today?
If I told him?
Yeah, you know,
just dropped a hint.
A hint dropped on Lew Marie
would disappear without a trace.
I think it'd be more
effective if you told him.
He's get mad, I
think. And if I told him?
He'd get madder, but he
already doesn't like you.
I mean, as... as much as me...
or as much as he should...
which is too much at all.
Would you tell him?
Hi, Mr. Marie.
Uh... ahem... It's
stuffy in here, isn't it?
It's not stuffy in here,
and don't open a window.
Right. Right.
Well, if it's not
stuffy in here,
we shouldn't open a window.
Writers have such logical minds.
Ann, must be pretty nervous.
Crowds make her nervous.
Uh, look, Mr. Marie,
you know, Ann and I were
just talking in the kitchen,
and she just happened
to mention about having...
people around.
I can understand that.
Right, right.
I'm gonna grab a cab home.
Can I drop you somewhere?
Drop me where?
Oh, wherever you say.
No, thanks, Hollinger.
I think I'll stick around.
Ann might need me for something.
Oh, Uh... Yes, Hollinger?
Uh...
Mr. Marie, I get the feeling
Ann doesn't want any company.
I know. You just old me that.
I happen to be family.
Mr. Marie, I get the impression
that Ann just wants to be alone.
All alone.
Totally alone.
Did Ann say that?
Oh, no, no, no. I just
get that impression.
From what? Exactly
what did Ann say?
Oh.
Good-bye, Ann.
Oh, are... are you
leaving, Daddy?
I'm afraid so. I've
gotta get some air.
Five hours of air
should be enough, eh?
You're not mad at me, are you?
Why should I be mad? I
know when I'm in the way.
Oh, Daddy! I know
when I'm in the way.
Excuse me, Hollinger,
you're in the way.
Oh, Daddy, please. It was really
sweet of you to come by, honest.
I really appreciated it.
Daddy!
Aren't you even gonna
give me a kiss for good luck?
See you later. I'll
be in the polluted air.
Coming, Hollinger?
Come on.
Help!
Hey! Help! It's
Ann Marie in 4-D!
I'm stuck in a faucet!
I mean, my finger's
stuck in a faucet!
Hey! Help!
I'm Ann Marie in 4-D!
Help!
Who needed acting school?
Plumbing school.
[Woman] The door is
open, Ann. Please come in.
That's it.
I hear Tom gave you a gorgeous
diamond ring for your anniversary.
Isn't that wonderful?
Can I see it?
Can I see?
Hey! Help! It's
Ann Marie in 4-D!
Somebody!
Hey! [groans]
Well, I'll come in early and finish
the article first thing in the morning.
Yeah, I have to knock off now
and get dressed for Ann's opening.
Thanks for the afternoon off.
Huh? Well, sure.
That's very nice, Mr. Adams.
I'll send a wire from me, too.
Bye-bye.
[phone rings]
Oh!
[ring]
Oh! [ring]
[ring]
Hello, Ann?
Oh, Hi, Gloria.
It's Don Hollinger.
Oh, she isn't taking
any calls from anybody.
Yeah. Right. She's
trying to take a nap. Bye.
[busy signal]
Uhh!
Ow.
Hello? Donald!
[Operator] We're sorry. We're
unable to complete your call as dialed.
Would you please
hang up and try again?
Hang up!
Ow.
This is the operator.
Can I help you?
Oh, operator!
Oh, thank heavens you're there.
I've been here since
8:00 this morning.
Now, can I help you?
Yes. Yes, would you
please get a number for me?
It's 226-1599.
226-1599?
Yes, that's right.
You can dial that
number directly.
Yeah. Yeah, I know you can.
I just have been having
a little trouble dialing.
I'll connect you with
our repair service.
Wait! Wait! Operator, I
really don't need any repair!
You see, what the matter is
is that I've been trying
to dial with my toes.
With your what?
Let me just explain.
I'm gonna open
tonight in my first play,
my first Broadway show,
and I wanted to relax, you know?
So I wanted to fix
myself a cup of tea,
and when I went to
get the water, you know,
to boil the water for the tea,
I got my finger
stuck in the faucet.
I'll try the number again.
Thank you.
[ringing]
[Donald] Hello? Donald!
Just a moment, madam.
Sir, is this 226-1599?
Yes! Yes, it is! Donald! Donald!
What's the matter, honey?
Donald, please, you've got
to come over here right away.
Please. I'll tell you
when you get here.
I'll be right there. Is
there anything you need?
Yes! A plumber!
You bet.
A plumber?
Ann?
Ann?
Ann, I don't want
to disturb you,
but I forgot to give you this.
It's your baby bracelet.
Your mother and I
thought you might want
to wear it tonight
for good luck.
Oh, hi, Mr. Marie.
Hollinger? Why are
you here and I'm not?
You are here.
I am, but I wasn't.
Uh, follow me.
Hi, Daddy. Ann, what happened?
I'm stuck. She caught
her finger in the faucet.
Why? She felt like it.
Don't get smart, Hollinger.
You should have taken
care of it. I wasn't here.
I've been stuck like
this alone for hours.
Ann, that's terrible.
I finally got a hold of Donald.
You called him? Yeah.
It never even occurred
to you to call me?
Oh, Daddy, I didn't
even know here you were.
I told you I was in the air.
There we are.
Nice going.
My pleasure.
All right, young lady.
You get out there now,
and you kill that audience.
Listen, thanks so much.
I'm gonna leave you two tickets
for Saturday night's performance
in your name at the box office.
Hey, thank you!
Okay. I better get going.
My gosh! It's past 7!
Come on. I've got a
cab waiting downstairs.
Oh, thanks, Daddy.
Daddy, you're not mad
at me anymore, are you?
Forget it, honey. You've just been
through a harrowing experience.
Ann, are you sure you're
in shape to go on tonight?
Are you kidding?
I'm in great shape.
I've just never been better.
What could possibly
happen to me now?
Any other questions?
Shall I open the champagne, Ann?
Oh, no, let's wait for Donald
to get back with the notices.
Okay. Hey, where are your folks?
They had to go back to
Brewster on the last train.
I'm so excited.
[clears throat]
Anyway, they loved you.
What do you mean anyway?
What about the play?
You really want to
hear? Yes, of course I do.
Okay, honey.
This is from the Times.
"Born in ancient Greece,
the spoken drama
"has survived petulance and
plague, war, flood, and famine.
Last night it faced
its sternest trial
with the opening of
North of Larchmont,
a domestic drama of
indescribable ineptness."
And then it gets bad.
What about the News?
The News. Uh...
Uh..."Not since Russia
and the United States
"signed a pact to ban
over-ground testing
has a bomb of such
magnitude been detonated."
You wanna hear more?
What about the "me" part?
Here, in the Times.
Uh..."Ann Marie."
"As a young suburban housewife,
"Ann Marie was pert, personable,
and all-together winning."
You're kidding!
Pert, personable, and
altogether winning?
And in the News.
"In a small part, Ann Marie
somehow stayed afloat
in an overwhelming
sea of troubles."
Oh, Donald! That's fantastic!
Isn't that fantastic?
Well, that means we've really
got a fighting chance, doesn't it?
Fighting chance for what?
A good long run.
Oh, uh, no way, honey.
Oh, sure, Donald.
Lots of poor shows have been
saved by a single great performance.
You heard it.
"Ann Marie stays afloat."
"The pert and the personable
and altogether winning
performance of Ann Marie."
Oh, Donald, isn't it fantastic?
My first Broadway
play, and I'm in a hit.
The show's gonna run forever.
Honey...
I'm really a great
performer, aren't I, Donald?
Oh, yes, you are.
I mean, two great
shows in one night.
An hour ago as a
suburban housewife
and now as an actress
pretending the show's a hit
when I know it's
not because I know.
I admit it's a flop,
and I... and I...
And if I don't keep
saying it's a hit
that I'll start to cry,
and I don't want to cry, Donald,
because my makeup's
really the best it's ever been,
and I want to be pretty
just one whole night.
No champagne, huh?
Yes, champagne.
The flow must go on.
Ha ha! [laughs]
What are you doing? Shh shh shh.
Divided by 156.
That's right. That's right!
That's unbelievable.
Absolutely unbelievable.
What's unbelievable? Tell
me so I won't believe it, too.
Well, Donald, I've
just been figuring it out,
and it really is staggering.
I came to New York three years
ago to be a Broadway actress,
and after three years,
I finally got a check for
actressing on Broadway.
And if you divide it by the
number of weeks I've been here,
it comes to about...
I've made about
90 cents a week as
a Broadway actress.
Now, that is unbelievable.
Honey, don't feel bad.
Feel bad?
There are actresses that
have been here for five years
and haven't made anything,
and I've made 90 cents a week.
It's unbelievable.
No, you're unbelievable.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA.
[phone rings]
What?
Oh, hi, Donald.
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
Well, sure, a little jumpy.
Listen, Donald, I just want
to be totally alone today,
so why don't you come over?
That didn't come
out the way I meant.
What I mean is you and me alone.
Can you come?
Oh, oh, great.
When will you be here, Donald?
Oh! Oh, good. Hurry. Bye.
Hi. This is Ann Marie.
Will you please answer all of
my calls on the first ring today?
Huh?
Isn't this Gloria's
Answering Service?
Oh. Then don't answer my calls.
[Woman] Gloria's
Rapid Answering Service.
Hold on, please.
Sorry to keep you
waiting. Be right back.
Yes, may I help you?
Hi. This is Ann Marie.
Oh, hi, Ann. This is
Gloria. How are you?
Oh, I'm... I'm...
You must be awful nervous
about your opening tonight.
Yeah. I... I really am, Gloria.
Listen, Gloria, would you...
Hold on, honey. Gloria!
I put him on hold.
Good luck, tonight, Ann.
Gloria, will you
please stop talking
so I can tell you why I called?
Now calm down
and tell me what it is.
Well, I just want...
[buzzer] Oops. Hold it.
Oh, that girl!
♪♪ [theme]
Oh, Gloria, I want you
to take all my calls today.
I'm just way too nervous
to answer the phone.
Oh, and please try and
get it on the first ring.
Okay. Do great tonight, Annie.
Thanks. I'll try my best. Bye.
[buzzer] Oops. Hang on.
What for? I just said...
Yes, Ann, what was it?
I was just saying good-bye.
Oh? Then why are
you still holding on?
[knock on door] Come in.
Hi, honey. Oh, hi, Donald.
Donald, I'm so glad you're here.
Okay, now you just
sit down here and relax.
What's that?
Oh, it's this dumb match puzzle
I used to play when
I was a little girl.
Now matter how nervous,
upset, or depressed I got.
I would work on this puzzle,
and I'd forget about everything.
That's great. How do you do it?
I forgot.
Uh, honey, can I
make a suggestion?
The best way to pass time? Hmm?
Sleep. Why don't
you try taking a nap?
Donald, look at me. I
couldn't possibly sleep.
Well, try it. If it works,
it'll be a blessing.
[sharpener buzzing]
Honey, this is bothering you.
Oh, no. I was just
thinking about the reviews.
They'll be terrific.
You really think so, Donald?
Raves, every one of them.
I hope so.
In the cast was a Broadway
newcomer, Edna Marie.
Miss Marie, however,
cannot be blamed
for her performance last night.
The blame lies with the doorman
who failed to keep
her out of the theater.
[typing continues]
As a young Westchester wife,
Ann Marie demonstrated
she has a pretty face,
a nervous manner,
and an urgent need
for vocational guidance.
[typing continues]
The role of a suburban housewife
was played by Ann Marie,
a young actress unknown
to the Broadway stage...
and obviously
destined to remain so.
[typing continues]
[knock on door]
Oh, who's that?
Daddy. Look who's here.
Hi. Isn't this a nice surprise?
Oh, yes, it certainly is.
Hi, Mr. Marie.
Oh, hi, Hollinger.
I see we both
have the same idea.
Keep Ann occupied during the day
so she won't get nervous
before the opening, right?
Uh, yes... yes, sir.
Two key words,
right? What's that?
Peace and quiet.
Right, honey? Right.
Well, here I am.
From now till curtain
time, I'm with you.
You can take a break
if you like, Hollinger.
Well, I... I think I'll just hang around
a little while longer. Thank you, sir.
Suit yourself.
Where's Mother?
You know Mother.
Her daughter's
opening on Broadway,
so she went out
to buy a new dress,
get a manicure, and
have her hair done.
She's gonna meet me
at the theater. Oh, good.
Now, honey, why don't you go in
the kitchen and fix me a sandwich
and put on a pot of coffee,
and we'll sit here
peacefully and quietly.
Boy, oh, boy,
that's great coffee!
Oh, good. Good, Daddy.
Not every father
has his coffee made
by a Broadway star
before her opening night.
No, no. How's your throat?
My throat?
I read somewhere
where an actress
suddenly lost her voice just
before her opening performance.
Oh. No, my... my
throat's fine. [clears throat]
It wasn't anything medical.
It was just nerves that did it.
Oh, brother. What?
That new play that opened
last night is closing Saturday.
Oh, no!
240,000 bucks down the
drain in five performances.
What a business. Daddy!
Oh, of course, not your show.
Your show is different.
Uh, it's what the public wants.
Lots of laughs.
Daddy, my play
is a serious drama.
Drama and laughs, that's
what the public wants.
Uh, why don't you and
I play a game of cards?
I came over to entertain my
daughter, Hollinger, not you.
Yeah, well, let's play anyway.
I promise I won't
be entertained.
Daddy, what time do you have?
Exactly 3:00.
Five hours until D-Day.
Daddy! Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Now look, just sit
back and try to relax.
Yeah, maybe I will.
Hold it down, Hollinger.
[slurps]
[slurps]
[water roaring]
[chewing]
[crash]
[tapping]
[drums]
Donald!
Donald, will you please
come into the kitchen?
I'd like top speak
to you for a minute.
Anything I can do, Ann?
Oh, no, Daddy,
everything's just great.
Are you okay? Yes.
Donald... Donald,
would you be upset
if I told you I just wanted
to be alone today?
I mean really alone.
Not you and me alone,
but just me alone... alone.
Honey, I wouldn't
be upset at all.
Oh, good.
Do you think Daddy
would be upset
if you told him I wanted
to be alone today?
If I told him?
Yeah, you know,
just dropped a hint.
A hint dropped on Lew Marie
would disappear without a trace.
I think it'd be more
effective if you told him.
He's get mad, I
think. And if I told him?
He'd get madder, but he
already doesn't like you.
I mean, as... as much as me...
or as much as he should...
which is too much at all.
Would you tell him?
Hi, Mr. Marie.
Uh... ahem... It's
stuffy in here, isn't it?
It's not stuffy in here,
and don't open a window.
Right. Right.
Well, if it's not
stuffy in here,
we shouldn't open a window.
Writers have such logical minds.
Ann, must be pretty nervous.
Crowds make her nervous.
Uh, look, Mr. Marie,
you know, Ann and I were
just talking in the kitchen,
and she just happened
to mention about having...
people around.
I can understand that.
Right, right.
I'm gonna grab a cab home.
Can I drop you somewhere?
Drop me where?
Oh, wherever you say.
No, thanks, Hollinger.
I think I'll stick around.
Ann might need me for something.
Oh, Uh... Yes, Hollinger?
Uh...
Mr. Marie, I get the feeling
Ann doesn't want any company.
I know. You just old me that.
I happen to be family.
Mr. Marie, I get the impression
that Ann just wants to be alone.
All alone.
Totally alone.
Did Ann say that?
Oh, no, no, no. I just
get that impression.
From what? Exactly
what did Ann say?
Oh.
Good-bye, Ann.
Oh, are... are you
leaving, Daddy?
I'm afraid so. I've
gotta get some air.
Five hours of air
should be enough, eh?
You're not mad at me, are you?
Why should I be mad? I
know when I'm in the way.
Oh, Daddy! I know
when I'm in the way.
Excuse me, Hollinger,
you're in the way.
Oh, Daddy, please. It was really
sweet of you to come by, honest.
I really appreciated it.
Daddy!
Aren't you even gonna
give me a kiss for good luck?
See you later. I'll
be in the polluted air.
Coming, Hollinger?
Come on.
Help!
Hey! Help! It's
Ann Marie in 4-D!
I'm stuck in a faucet!
I mean, my finger's
stuck in a faucet!
Hey! Help!
I'm Ann Marie in 4-D!
Help!
Who needed acting school?
Plumbing school.
[Woman] The door is
open, Ann. Please come in.
That's it.
I hear Tom gave you a gorgeous
diamond ring for your anniversary.
Isn't that wonderful?
Can I see it?
Can I see?
Hey! Help! It's
Ann Marie in 4-D!
Somebody!
Hey! [groans]
Well, I'll come in early and finish
the article first thing in the morning.
Yeah, I have to knock off now
and get dressed for Ann's opening.
Thanks for the afternoon off.
Huh? Well, sure.
That's very nice, Mr. Adams.
I'll send a wire from me, too.
Bye-bye.
[phone rings]
Oh!
[ring]
Oh! [ring]
[ring]
Hello, Ann?
Oh, Hi, Gloria.
It's Don Hollinger.
Oh, she isn't taking
any calls from anybody.
Yeah. Right. She's
trying to take a nap. Bye.
[busy signal]
Uhh!
Ow.
Hello? Donald!
[Operator] We're sorry. We're
unable to complete your call as dialed.
Would you please
hang up and try again?
Hang up!
Ow.
This is the operator.
Can I help you?
Oh, operator!
Oh, thank heavens you're there.
I've been here since
8:00 this morning.
Now, can I help you?
Yes. Yes, would you
please get a number for me?
It's 226-1599.
226-1599?
Yes, that's right.
You can dial that
number directly.
Yeah. Yeah, I know you can.
I just have been having
a little trouble dialing.
I'll connect you with
our repair service.
Wait! Wait! Operator, I
really don't need any repair!
You see, what the matter is
is that I've been trying
to dial with my toes.
With your what?
Let me just explain.
I'm gonna open
tonight in my first play,
my first Broadway show,
and I wanted to relax, you know?
So I wanted to fix
myself a cup of tea,
and when I went to
get the water, you know,
to boil the water for the tea,
I got my finger
stuck in the faucet.
I'll try the number again.
Thank you.
[ringing]
[Donald] Hello? Donald!
Just a moment, madam.
Sir, is this 226-1599?
Yes! Yes, it is! Donald! Donald!
What's the matter, honey?
Donald, please, you've got
to come over here right away.
Please. I'll tell you
when you get here.
I'll be right there. Is
there anything you need?
Yes! A plumber!
You bet.
A plumber?
Ann?
Ann?
Ann, I don't want
to disturb you,
but I forgot to give you this.
It's your baby bracelet.
Your mother and I
thought you might want
to wear it tonight
for good luck.
Oh, hi, Mr. Marie.
Hollinger? Why are
you here and I'm not?
You are here.
I am, but I wasn't.
Uh, follow me.
Hi, Daddy. Ann, what happened?
I'm stuck. She caught
her finger in the faucet.
Why? She felt like it.
Don't get smart, Hollinger.
You should have taken
care of it. I wasn't here.
I've been stuck like
this alone for hours.
Ann, that's terrible.
I finally got a hold of Donald.
You called him? Yeah.
It never even occurred
to you to call me?
Oh, Daddy, I didn't
even know here you were.
I told you I was in the air.
There we are.
Nice going.
My pleasure.
All right, young lady.
You get out there now,
and you kill that audience.
Listen, thanks so much.
I'm gonna leave you two tickets
for Saturday night's performance
in your name at the box office.
Hey, thank you!
Okay. I better get going.
My gosh! It's past 7!
Come on. I've got a
cab waiting downstairs.
Oh, thanks, Daddy.
Daddy, you're not mad
at me anymore, are you?
Forget it, honey. You've just been
through a harrowing experience.
Ann, are you sure you're
in shape to go on tonight?
Are you kidding?
I'm in great shape.
I've just never been better.
What could possibly
happen to me now?
Any other questions?
Shall I open the champagne, Ann?
Oh, no, let's wait for Donald
to get back with the notices.
Okay. Hey, where are your folks?
They had to go back to
Brewster on the last train.
I'm so excited.
[clears throat]
Anyway, they loved you.
What do you mean anyway?
What about the play?
You really want to
hear? Yes, of course I do.
Okay, honey.
This is from the Times.
"Born in ancient Greece,
the spoken drama
"has survived petulance and
plague, war, flood, and famine.
Last night it faced
its sternest trial
with the opening of
North of Larchmont,
a domestic drama of
indescribable ineptness."
And then it gets bad.
What about the News?
The News. Uh...
Uh..."Not since Russia
and the United States
"signed a pact to ban
over-ground testing
has a bomb of such
magnitude been detonated."
You wanna hear more?
What about the "me" part?
Here, in the Times.
Uh..."Ann Marie."
"As a young suburban housewife,
"Ann Marie was pert, personable,
and all-together winning."
You're kidding!
Pert, personable, and
altogether winning?
And in the News.
"In a small part, Ann Marie
somehow stayed afloat
in an overwhelming
sea of troubles."
Oh, Donald! That's fantastic!
Isn't that fantastic?
Well, that means we've really
got a fighting chance, doesn't it?
Fighting chance for what?
A good long run.
Oh, uh, no way, honey.
Oh, sure, Donald.
Lots of poor shows have been
saved by a single great performance.
You heard it.
"Ann Marie stays afloat."
"The pert and the personable
and altogether winning
performance of Ann Marie."
Oh, Donald, isn't it fantastic?
My first Broadway
play, and I'm in a hit.
The show's gonna run forever.
Honey...
I'm really a great
performer, aren't I, Donald?
Oh, yes, you are.
I mean, two great
shows in one night.
An hour ago as a
suburban housewife
and now as an actress
pretending the show's a hit
when I know it's
not because I know.
I admit it's a flop,
and I... and I...
And if I don't keep
saying it's a hit
that I'll start to cry,
and I don't want to cry, Donald,
because my makeup's
really the best it's ever been,
and I want to be pretty
just one whole night.
No champagne, huh?
Yes, champagne.
The flow must go on.
Ha ha! [laughs]
What are you doing? Shh shh shh.
Divided by 156.
That's right. That's right!
That's unbelievable.
Absolutely unbelievable.
What's unbelievable? Tell
me so I won't believe it, too.
Well, Donald, I've
just been figuring it out,
and it really is staggering.
I came to New York three years
ago to be a Broadway actress,
and after three years,
I finally got a check for
actressing on Broadway.
And if you divide it by the
number of weeks I've been here,
it comes to about...
I've made about
90 cents a week as
a Broadway actress.
Now, that is unbelievable.
Honey, don't feel bad.
Feel bad?
There are actresses that
have been here for five years
and haven't made anything,
and I've made 90 cents a week.
It's unbelievable.
No, you're unbelievable.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA.