That Girl (1966–1971): Season 4, Episode 10 - Fix My Screen & Bug Out - full transcript

Ann is surprised to see that Bobby Miller, an old boyfriend, is now her new landlord. As the other tenants can see that Bobby is still attracted to Ann, they feel their best offense in getting Bobby to make all the necessary repairs and upgrades the previous landlord promised is to have Ann act as the chairperson of their grievance committee. What they see is correct as Bobby does profess his continued love for Ann, which is why she feels she shouldn't be the spokesperson for the tenants so as not to lead Bobby on. But Ann relents to the tenants' request if only to show them that Bobby really means nothing to her. This role makes Ann a nervous wreck in having to deal with Bobby, who is aware of Donald in Ann's life but doesn't care. Ann has to figure out how to act like a sane person in Bobby's presence so that she can truly be coherent in expressing to him how she feels about both him and Donald.

Look, ladies, your leases
are just as they were

before we bought this building.

We will honor all of them,

but you must do the same.

Oh, they'll honor them.

The landlord before promised
us new paint and wallpaper.

Well, did you get
that in writing?

What writing? He
didn't know how to write.

You better do something
about it. Her son's a lawyer.

That's right.

With a specialty
in lying landlords.



I've been complaining
for two months

about the paint
peeling on my ceiling.

Mrs. Harris... Oh, hi, Ann. Hi.

Bobby? Ann.

My goodness! Oh, my gosh.

Are you living here?
Yeah. I live in 4D.

The one with the sticky door.

What are you doing here?

We're in an emergency session.

Uh, I think it's time
for a little recess.

Would you excuse us, ladies?

You look wonderful. So do you.

[both laugh]

Let me get this
bundle out of the way.



Ruthie speaks
with straight tongue.

My first job as landlord.

You know, I was going
to get my son to help.

But better than a lawyer,

I think we'll use that girl.

♪♪ [theme]

So, uh, what have you been
doing for the past four years?

Well, I've had
this broken heart.

[laughs] Well, you
don't look any worse.

In fact, you look just fine.

Well, I feel great.

Carrying a torch all that
time does wonders for you.

Oh, cut it out. No, really.

I've spent all this time
just running around

looking for someone
just like you.

How have you
been doing? Failure.

Well, you haven't
tried hard enough.

That's not true.

I've looked at ever
female that's passed by

with long black hair and
those funny little bangs

and those big, dark,
deep, loveable brown eyes.

Have you tried the
stables at Central Park?

Do you still take two
sugars in your coffee?

Right. Hey, you
wouldn't remember that

if you didn't still love me.

Wrong.

I'm not making
you nervous, am I?

Oh, no. Are you kidding?

That's funny. I still feel exactly
the same way about you.

Oh, Bobby, stop it.

Well, I wish I could.

Perhaps if you would kiss me
several times and then marry me,

maybe it would wear off.

Listen, why don't
you just come in

and tell me why you're involved
in this building and everything.

Well, Miller
Associates bought it.

Oh? Yes.

You see, I'm in business
with my father now.

Oh, my gosh. How is your father?

Oh, he's fine. He asks
for you all the time.

And every time he sees
a little baby, he says,

"You see, Bobby?
If you'd married Ann,

that could have
been my grandson."

[door opens]

Knock, knock!
Hope I'm intruding!

Oh, no, you're not.

We were just standing
around having a cup of coffee.

Oh, are you two old friends?

Yes, very old.

Ever think you'd be
living in his apartment?

[laughs nervously] That
has a funny sound to it.

I like it. It kinda rings.

Don will get a kick
out of it, too. Yes.

Don? Is that the new Bobby?

No, not at all.

Well... well, yes, in
a way, but I mean...

Are you engaged? Not exactly.

Those are my favorite
two words: not exactly.

Bobby and I used
to go out quite a bit.

She was crazy about me.

Old beaus are terrific. I
wish I had some myself.

Are you coming down
to the laundry room?

Yes! As a matter of
fact, I've got a load to do.

Great. Then I'll pick
you up later for dinner.

Oh! See you downstairs.

Bye, landlord.

Well, I guess it's
time you got going.

Okay. Say, uh, what is
a good place for dinner?

Le Pavillon. Perfect.

Yeah. You got there,
and I'll go Nino's.

Oh, now, sweetheart,
have dinner with me.

You did love me four years ago.

Yes, but it wasn't four
years ago, it was 400.

Now say bye-bye.

[rattles door] And... And do it.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

And I did it.

Perhaps I've been too subtle.

I still love you.
Have dinner with me.

I can't. You can't or you won't?

Your choice.

Look, Bobby, what
was four years ago

simply was... four years ago.

Okay, I guess you're right.

What was was, and what is is,

and that was and this
is... and you're right.

Bye.

I'll call you later.

No!

Darn.

Hello, Nancy.

Hi, it's Ann. Is Don there?

Oh. Well, will he be
back this afternoon?

Oh. Oh, no, it's
nothing important.

I'm gonna see him
tonight at Nino's anyway.

Yeah... Wait a minute.

If he should call in,

would you give him
a message for me?

Yeah. Just tell him that I...

Well, I mean,
just tell him that I...

[chuckles] I'll tell him.

Good-bye.

Hi.

How do you do, Madame
Chairlady? What?

We've decided to make you the
chairlady of our grievance committee.

What are you talking about?

Well, we all thought that you
should be the one to represent us

with our complaints
to the new owners.

If you don't mind, you'll
give these to your Mr. Miller.

Now just a second.
He is not my Mr. Miller.

You took a total stranger
into your apartment?

Well, he's an old
friend, but he's not mine.

I mean, he was, but he isn't.

That being the case,
or not being the case,

depending upon what the case
is or isn't and not withstanding.

She's talked like that ever since her
son graduated Columbia Law School.

Well, it's immaterial
and irrelevant...

and I'm not going.

How many times have I heard you
complain about your door that sticks?

And the bumps in your floor?

I can live with
doors and floors.

Please, I don't
want to get involved.

A month ago, you were
ready to sign the petition,

and now you meet Mr. Miller,

and suddenly, you
don't want to get involved.

Maybe Ann just
doesn't have the time.

Oh, sure. I saw the way
she said hello to him...

with a kiss.

You obviously don't want to get
on the wrong side of him, right, Ann?

If you will kindly hand
me your list of complaints,

I will gladly present
them to Mr. Miller

and insist he comply
with all of them.

Thank you very much.

Look, Ann, if it upsets you,

maybe you shouldn't do it.

We didn't mean to butt
in to your personal life.

Mr. Miller is no part
whatsoever of my personal life.

So therefore, it doesn't
upset me in the least.

Now if you'll please excuse
me, I will finish my laundry.

To the only man
I ever really love.

I mean, really loved
in my whole life.

I'll drink to him
whoever he may be.

Why did you say
a thing like that?

I'm sorry, honey. I
was just making a joke.

It was such a nice little toast.

It really didn't
call for a joke.

All right, I apologize.

Now I'll make a toast.

To the only girl I've ever loved
in my whole life and ever will.

[Italian accent]
Well, look who's here.

The lovebirds, Bill and Coo.

Hi, Gino. Hello, Coo.

Gino, I want you
to tell me honestly.

Is she or isn't she

the most beautiful thing
you've ever seen in your life?

She's no beautiful.
She's too skinny.

She put on maybe 60, 50 pounds,

then maybe she's beautiful.

Now she's, uh...
she's a number 3.

What's the number 3?

Diet special.
Beef bones, no fat.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.
You have a message.

A message? From
your landlord. Mr. Miller.

He said to tell you that when
you can't stand it anymore here,

he's at Le Pavillon.

Arrivederci.

What was that all about?

Oh, well, in Italian,
arrivederci means...

Not that. The message
from your landlord.

Oh. Oh, well, uh...

I, uh, I saw Bobby Miller today.

You mean the guy
you used to go out with?

Yes. Yes.

You know, Donald,
how I used to tell you

that his father
was in real estate?

You know, apartments and things?

Miller Associates? Right.

Well, he now associates
with my building.

He's the landlord? Yes.

Ah.

[chuckles] That's
very interesting.

Yes. Yes, I thought
it was interesting, too.

I mean, from the point of view

of landlord/tenant
relationships.

Uh-huh.

What uh-huh?

I mean, now you can get all those things
fixed that you were complaining about.

Donald Hollinger!

You're a regular Mrs. Harris!

Putting on something alluring?

[Ann] Oh, yeah.

Typical "tenant going
to see the landlord" thing.

A black-lace bikini.

That's awful businesslike, Ann.

Ruthie, I'm going to
a business meeting.

I'm not going out on a date.

Well, I know, but he
obviously likes you.

Don't you think you
should wear a business suit

with a little more monkey
in the business part?

Oh, Ruthie!

Really, Ann. Something
with a little more...

maybe a little less.

You know, something
with "Umph" in it.

You're really impossible.

Look, Ann, I know he doesn't
mean anything to you anymore,

but obviously, you
mean something to him.

So why not take advantage of it?

Because I don't think
that'd be very nice.

I don't think it's very nice of
you to even suggest it either.

Even if it gets our
apartments fixed?

Even if.

Well, all I can tell
you is if it were me...

Wait a minute.

You take this into
your apartment,

and you put something on,

and you go up and allure him.

Ann, please, I'm
a married woman.

You go. I just thought...

Well, stop thinking.

I'm just gonna go up there,

and I'm gonna yell at him

like a yelling tenant
and that is that.

Well, even yelling tenants
can look interesting.

I'll knock on your
door when I get back.

Good luck.

Yeah.

I'd like to see
Mr. Miller, please.

Which Mr. Miller did you
want, Senior or Junior?

Oh. Senior.

Uh, no. Junior.

Uh... Senior.

If it's a tossup, I can
help. Senior's out of town.

Oh. Junior.

Then you'll have to wait.
These people are ahead of you.

Fine. Name, please?

Oh. Uh, Ann Marie.

Oh!

You can go right in.

Oh.

No, don't be ridiculous.

I can wait my turn.

Why did you say "Oh"
when I said I was me?

Because Mr. Miller left word
if you were to come or call

to put you through immediately.

Excuse me.

What right do you have
not to keep me waiting?

Why did you tell your
secretary if I call...

She doesn't have to know!

She shouldn't think that I'm...

You have got to realize
that I am just another...

She and all those
other people out there!

Did you think
that I'd be calling?

Here!

Hi, Ann. Don't "Hi, Ann" me.

Hello, Doris.

Here. Read this list.

What is it?

It's a list of complaints about
what's wrong with our building.

And the tenants association
has named me chairman,

and I'm here to tell
you what's wrong.

My goodness. It looks like it's been
ring through a washing machine.

Well, it hasn't.

That's a wonderful outfit
you have on. It is not.

Now what about that list?

Okay. Out of gratitude
for the tenants committee

for giving me another
chance to see you,

consider it taken care of.

Now, how about lunch?

Aren't you even gonna read them?

Nope.

Don't you even want
to discuss them? Nope.

You mean, you're just gonna
take care of everything just like that?

Yep. [intercom buzzes]

Excuse me, honey.
Don't call me...

Yes, Joan?

All right, put him through
and then hold the calls.

Hello, Bill.

Yes, that's correct.

No, I don't want that much
insurance on that particular property.

Yes, I know that
Pop said to take it,

but the premiums are too high.

Look, even if the building
burned to the ground,

the land's worth over 200,000.

[whispering] Psst. I love you.

Yes, that's right.

Change the policy, and I'll
straighten it out with my father.

Good-bye.

Now how about that lunch?

No, no, I really can't.

I've got way to much to do.

No, I don't either.

Look, Bobby, I told you before.

I'm in love with somebody else.

But you're not engaged.

I know, but that
doesn't really matter.

[sighs] All right, tell me about
him. What's his full name?

His name is Donald Hollinger,

and he's a very successful
writer for Newsview magazine.

Writer for Newsview, huh?

Hey, that's wonderful magazine.

He must be a wonderful guy.

Yes, he is.

You know what, sweetheart?

Don't call me sweetheart.

I'm glad that you feel as
strongly as you do about him.

You do? Yes, I do, Ann.

Don't call me Ann.

Because I never had
a brother and, uh...

I'm sure that Donald will be
acceptable to me as a best man.

Come on! Let's call him. We'll call
him, and we'll tell him he's through.

He can stay in the
state, but that's about it.

What's his
number? I'll call him.

Hello? Get me Don Hollinger.

You are still such
a crazy person.

Now what about that list? When?

First thing tomorrow.

I'll stop by your apartment
with my chief engineer,

and we'll take a look
at what has to be done.

Oh, that'll be great. What
time will you come by?

10:00 tonight. Oh, fine.

No engineer works
at 10:00 at night!

You're right. I'll come alone.

Why can't I ever find my keys?

Donald, look under the cushions.

You know, since you called
and asked me to dinner tonight,

you should have cooked.

Well, I just wanted to
get out for the evening.

Maybe they're in the bedroom.

Why tonight?

No special reason.

Hi.

Hi.

They were in the door.

Who are you?

I'm the landlord.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

Who are you talking to?

Mr. No Special Reason.

Oh. Uh, Bobby.

Hi, Ann. Lucky I found you in.

Let's see now. We have, uh...

that's 28 and 3/8,

and it's 16 and 1/4
around the corner.

Now, let's see. 1...

Yes, he just came by to check
what's wrong with my apartment.

It's purely a business visit.

I see.

We don't have to stay
here while he does it.

Fine.

Oh.

You have the exact
same measurements

as Don Hollinger from
Newsview magazine.

Bobby.

Hi, Don. I'm Bobby Miller,

attending engineer
and building owner.

How are you? Fine.

You ready? Yes.

Oh, wait a minute!

My agent may call
about that commercial.

I'll just take the
phone over to Ruthie.

Oh, yeah. Here.

Pardon me.

Great girl, isn't she?

Uh, yeah. Yes. Yes, she is.

By the way, Don,
you know, I've, uh...

read some of your
articles in Newsview,

and you write really well for
someone with no education.

You didn't go to
college, did you?

[chuckles] Only four years.

That's funny. You wouldn't
now that by your writing.

When someone has to
read it to you, it loses a little.

[laughs] That's very
good. That's one apiece.

Well, why don't we
leave it that way. Right.

Say, would you hold this for me?

Thank you.

Just stay right there.
That's very good.

Uh-huh. You, uh...

you do know that I'm
going to win her over

with my charming drapes
and loveable carpeting.

[laughs] Wanna back off?

No, you back off.

[chuckles]

What does it say there?

One.

I never was one of
the great measurers.

[sighs]

Are you as
uncomfortable as I am?

Well, I'm sure as one of us
says something intelligent,

it'll be all right.

Yeah, well, uh, that's
not gonna happen.

I was in the exact same situation
once with, uh, Richard Burton.

Oh? How did he react?

He just gave in.

[imitating Richard Burton]
"You want her, take her."

Well, there's very little
Richard Burton in me.

Yes, I've noticed that.

You do have a nice side, though.

Thank you. That's true.

But there's also a flip side.

That's not as nice?
Something like that.

Okay, Donald, come on, let's go.

Oh, right, honey. Oh,
by the way, honey.

As long as you're getting
new carpeting for in here,

why don't you get a new
matching carpet for the hallway?

Unless, of course, Mr. Miller
doesn't want to do that for you.

Money is no object.
You shall have it.

Well, thank you. Isn't
he nice, sweetheart?

Why don't we measure
it right away, Bob?

Why, certainly, Don.

Excuse me, honey.

Here. Why don't you
come right over here

and stand right there? Okay.

And you just hold this
little part that says "one."

[laughs] One.

Just hold it, boy.

Okay, I'm holding, Don.

Now hold it tight.

Come right out here, honey.

That's it. Hold it real tight.

We'll get a real
good measurement.

Perfect. Perfect.

Don't worry about a thing.

You just back right up there.

Just keep holding
it. That a boy.

I'm holding it.

Don?

Well, how about that?

Oh ho! There she is. Miss
Norman Need-Nothing.

Oh, please. Could we have some
of your leftover paint and paper?

What are you talking about?

They've started working.

Oh!

Oh, you must have
been some yelling tenant

in your businesslike outfit.

I always said where there's
kissing there must be fire.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

They had to start someplace,
so they started with my apartment.

Oh! Very true.

Oh, young man.

Would you please
explain to this young lady

which apartment
you're going to fix next?

Oh, there is no next, Miss.

We've just got instructions to
remodel this apartment and that's it.

That's not it!

Then you just take
everybody out of here

and stop remodeling
and doing things!

I can't stop, lady.

I have my orders
from Mr. Miller.

Certainly. That's her boyfriend.

Hi, sweetheart.

Don't you "Hi, sweetheart" me!

Say, have you been home yet
today? I've got a surprise for you.

Yes, I've been home today,

and I've got a surprise for you!

I want you to go over there

and put everything
back the way it was.

Wait a minute now. I thought you
wanted your apartment fixed up.

I wanted everybody's
apartment fixed up!

Well, first things first.

I don't wanna
be your first thing!

Do you know what you've done to
me with my friends and neighbors?

They all know that you
fixed up that apartment for me

and not because
of... you should.

Now wait a minute, sweetheart.

I know, don't call
you sweetheart.

I didn't fix the
apartment up for you.

I fixed it up for me.

What are you talking about?

I figured when we got
married, we'd live there.

We are not getting married ever!

Don't you understand? I
don't love you anymore.

I love someone else.

I love someone else.

Hello, Bobby.

Hello?

You know something?
You really are terrific.

Correct.

I mean you really,
really are terrific.

Not love terrific,
but terrific terrific.

Love terrific is something else,

but you're fun and nice...

And terrific. That's right.

I was getting all nervous
and worried and everything

because I was thinking
that you would love terrific.

But I just realized...

That I'm a different
kind of terrific,

like fantastic friend,
special terrific?

Exactly! Yeah, I know.

How'd you know?

Well, I heard this
conversation before.

You did? Yeah, yeah.

Four years ago... from you.

You realized then, too.

That you were terrific? Mm.

I'm sorry. Hey, it's okay.

At least you're consistent.

And as one of
your terrific friends,

I'm gonna fix up those
other apartments for you.

You promise? Scout's honor.

Oh, Bobby.

It was nice seeing you again.

It was nice seeing
you again, too.

And you just bill it
to me, okay, Dino?

I mean, don't even
bring a check to the table

'cause then he's
gonna wanna pay for it,

and I wanna buy
Donald this dinner myself.

Okay, Ann.

Are you sure he deserves it?

Oh, he deserves the whole world.

Well, just the pretty parts.

Shh! Here he comes.

Hi, honey. Hello, Donald.

How are you?

I'm fine, thank
you. How are you?

Perfect. True.

You hungry?

Donald, I've got
something I wanna tell you.

Oh. Does it have anything
to do with Bobby Miller?

Yes, it does. And I've already
ordered some champagne for us.

Oh, great.

Don't you think we ought to sit down
at the table and drink the champagne?

Well, don't you want to
hear what I have to tell you?

No. If it was a terrible thing,

you wouldn't have
ordered champagne.

So it must be a great thing.

And if it's a great thing and it has
something to do with Bobby Miller,

I already know what it is.

Don't you even want
me to tell you? No.

You're very
intelligent. Thank you.

But you don't fool me.

What do you mean?

Well, sure, now you're very
calm and cool and hungry.

But I'll bet for a little minute
there you were worried.

Me? Worried? Oh, honey!

Why, just last night
I said to Sheila...

Sheila? Yeah. I said "Sheila..."

Who's Sheila? I don't know.

It was just a name I made
up off the top of my head.

Oh. Actually, I think
it was Charlotte.

Donald!

I can't get those go-go
dancers names straight.

Worried? [chuckles]

How much money do
you have in the bank?

$90.

Put it all on that
I was worried,

and you'll have 180.

And then I'm gonna bet it all

on that you'll never
have to worry again

and then I'll have 350.

60.360.

180 and 180 is 360.

Whatever you say, Donald.

If you said it was
390, I'd believe it.

That's swell, but I
wasn't making it up.

180 and 180 is 360.

Oh. I'm just so
terrible at math.

In fact, I was saying that
just last week to Bernie.

I said, "Bernie..." Bernie?

I've had some cheap dates
before, but this is the winner.

Never mind and turn your back.

Why?

Because I don't want
you to see my laundry.

You know, that's
one of the things

that makes you and I
so perfect for each other.

What? I really don't
want to see your laundry.

Not that my laundry
isn't very nice, you know.

Oh, I'm sure.

If I know you, you
probably had it cleaned

before you put it in the washer.

I certainly do.

Hey, have you heard
from a your land... oh.

Have you heard from
your landlord lately?

Bobby? No.

Well, yes, but... but no.

Oh, fine. Well, bad, but fine.

What kind of an answer is that?

Well, um...

Well, he did call a
couple of days ago

and asked me if I
knew any cute, pretty,

attractive, nice, single girls

who were interested
in meeting a new fellow.

Well, that's all right.
I don't mind that.

I mean, the guy has
obviously made up his mind

it's all over for you and him.

Well... Well what?

Well, he said if I knew any

that I should give
you their numbers.