That Girl (1966–1971): Season 3, Episode 26 - Sue Me, Sue Me, What Can You Do Me? - full transcript

While Ann and Lew go to Donald's office to pick him up for their evening outing, Lew slips and falls on a puddle of water on the marble floor just outside of Donald's office. Although the doctor they find for the immediate examination issues Lew a clean bill of health, he still suggests Lew have a thorough check-up with his own physician. Dr. Heindorf, Lew's own physician, also ultimately gives him a clean bill of health. Meanwhile, Stewart Hurley, who works in the claims department of the magazine, comes to investigate. Through a request through Donald, Hurley, who has a near perfect record of claimants not collecting any money from supposed accidents, wants Lew to sign a waiver especially since he implies that Donald's relationship to Lew through Ann could implicate him in the situation as being in collusion with Lew about a possible false claim. Although Lew was willing to sign, Jerry convinces him not to if only for possible delayed symptoms of injury from the fall. Hurley's action and Donald's subsequent discussion with Robert Prentice, the magazine's publisher, ultimately raises the ire of Donald, who doesn't know if he wants to work for an organization that thinks him a cheat. While Donald takes drastic action, Ann conversely tries to convince her father not to sue, especially since he's not injured.

[typing]

Dearest friends, I hate to
leave you on your bed or pain,

but I did promise Ruth I'd be
home at a decent hour tonight.

You're home at a
decent hour every night.

Well, you had to
be indispensable.

I, on the other hand,
choose to be witty,

charming, and
physically desirable.

Wait a minute. How
does this sound?

Uh, please. I'd just soon not
become creatively involved.

Wait a minute... Don,
it's none of my business.

Okay. But you're missing
a piece of brilliant rhetoric.



Oh, I'm sure I am.

So if it's all the same to you,

I would just assume
leave feeling fortunate

rather than envious.

[gasps] How's that for timing?

A sure sign of star material.

Well, talk about charming,
witty, and all that other stuff.

What other stuff?

Jerry was being
sophisticated again.

Ah. Had a drink at lunch, eh?

Are you gonna tell Ruth?

Of course not. She
thinks you're on a diet.

Where's your father?

I thought he'd be here already.



I told him we had an
8:30 dinner reservation.

Well, it's just as well.

I haven't finished
this article yet...

[Man] Oh!

What was that? I'll take a look.

I'm gonna need
another half hour...

[moaning]

Oh, my gosh.
Somebody's been hurt.

[Man] Uhh!

[moaning]

Donald, there's
something about that moan.

Ahh! Ow! Daddy,
are you all right?

Donald! Sit him down.

Do you feel faint?
No, no, I'm all right.

Somebody, put his
head between his knees!

It already is! How
did it happen?

He slipped out in the hall.

There's a little pool
of water from a leak.

They've held the Olympics
in smaller pools than that.

Ow! Ow! Oh, Donald.
Something's broken.

All right, honey,
Now, take it easy.

There's a doctor
in the next building.

All right! That's a
good suggestion!

Is he from the building?

No newspaperman
would use the language

that he just did
outside in the hall.

So who is he? He's
the father of that girl.

♪♪ [theme]

Well, of course I can't
be absolutely certain,

but I don't think there's anything
seriously wrong. Mr. Marie.

Not unless I've developed a case of
pneumonia sitting here freezing to death.

Oh, Daddy, it's not that cold.

I'd advise you to see your personal
physician as soon as possible.

Well, unfortunately,
he's out of town.

Well, I can send you to Bellevue

or to Cornell Institute
of Medicine for x-rays.

Please. I'd rather not go
to any fly-by-night hospitals.

No offense, Dr. Wheeler.

It's just that I don't want any more
strange, clammy hands poking into me.

Daddy, I don't think you
ought to go to Brewster tonight.

I think you better stay with me.

Thank you so much
for coming, Doctor.

It's the price a doctor pays

for having a listed number.

See, Daddy?
Everything's gonna be fine.

You know, frankly, I've
never seen you look better.

I think that exercise
did you some good.

All set, Mr. Marie?
Take it easy now.

I guess maybe I am all right.

Don't move too quickly!

In case of post-traumatic
shock. What's that?

The blood could drain
out of your brain...

And you'd faint a little.

You're kidding! Jerry!

I'm only trying to help.

I better lean on you.

And I think I should send for
Dr. Heindorf in the morning.

He's in Brewster.

You want him to come
all the way to New York?

He can't make a house call?

Good idea, Mr. Marie.

At your age, you
can't be too careful.

Jerry, neither can you.

Now, you're sure you'll be all
right 'til the doctor gets here?

Go to your
interview, sweetheart.

The show must go on.

Even I know that.

I'd fix you another sandwich,

but I'd hate for you
to get indigestion, too.

Two is enough.

Three, but who's counting.

Jokes while I'm in agony.

I was only trying to
take your mind off it.

That Dr. Heindorf is
taking his own sweet time.

Well, Daddy, he couldn't leave
Brewster until his office hours were over.

Whatever happened to "neither
rain nor sleet nor snow shall...

That's the postman.

Doctor's take the
Hippocratic Oath.

Marvelous.

Now they start out by
promising to be hypocrites.

Daddy, one has absolutely
no connection with the other.

I never had a backache in
my life 'til Hitler came along.

And if he is in South America,
I hope he's got a ruptured disc.

[door buzzer]

Oh, Dr. Heindorf! Come in!

Don't tell me. I'd know
that face anywhere.

And to think I haven't seen
you since the day you were born.

Oh, you saw me in
Brewster last month

when you gave me a checkup.

That's right, I forgot.

What's the matter with you?

Oh, nothing. I never
felt better in my life.

Then why am I here?

You came to see me, not her.

What's the matter with him?

Well, he slipped on a
marble floor and he fell down.

What'd you do, drive down
here in your horse and buggy?

Obviously, he didn't
land on his mouth.

How are you? How should
I know? You're the doctor!

He's been having
a lot of pain, Doctor.

Good. I'm glad I didn't
make a trip for nothing.

Look, I have to
go on an interview.

I'll be back just
as soon as I can.

No hurry.

It'll take at least an hour

for us to aggravate
each other completely

before I start to examine him.

Well, I feel better just
knowing you're here.

Now, Daddy, you be a good boy.

Bye-bye. Bye.

What happened was
it was this water...

Nice apartment. And I slipped.

You know she never even
cried once when I vaccinated her?

Heindorf, we were
talking about me.

You were talking about you.

That's why you came to
New York, in case you forgot.

Big place, New York.

You know how many doctors
they got on Park Avenue alone?

You can go blind from
just reading the shingles.

Heindorf, are you
going to examine me?

"Heindorf, are you
going to examine me?"

Not "New York shingle doctor,
are you going to examine me."

Well, at least you know which
side your health is buttered on.

Hold this under your tongue.

Now got wash out your
mouth. That's my pen.

Hollinger? Yeah.

Stuart Hurley,
claims department.

Oh. Sure.

Fine. What can I do for you?

Well, I just wanted
to let you know

that we're on top of
last night's accident.

We appreciate that.

Everything that can
be done is being done.

300 nuisance lawsuits
in the last 6 months.

Two collected. The
others... chop-chop.

Hmm? Chop-chop.

Oh.

Don, you wouldn't believe
what... Oh, I'm sorry.

Is this private? No, no, no.

Uh, Jerry, this is,
uh, Stuart... Hurley.

Yeah, sorry. Stuart Hurley
of the claims department.

How do you do? Jerry
Bauman, one of our finer writers.

Bauman. Right.

Oh, uh, don't let me
interrupt anything.

And speak freely.

We share the same file cabinet,

and therefore, are on
the most intimate of terms.

I was just leaving.

Uh, yeah... Uh, thank you
for your concern, Mr. Hurley.

Oh, uh, by the way,

the accident's
daughter, Miss Marie.

Isn't she a friend of yours?

Yes. Yes. Yes, she is.

I thought so.

I like that.

A little dash of coincidence.

It gives me something
to get my teeth into.

Boy meets girl.

Boy works in building.

Girls father falls in building.

[clicks mouth]

I assume that he's been
checked by a competent physician.

Physician?

Mr. Marie.

Oh, no, no, no. He's fine.

Just a little shook up,
but nothing to worry about.

Well, in that case,

it should be no trouble
getting him to sign this waiver

Uh... uh, yeah. Will
you leave it on the desk?

Wise decision, Hollinger.

We'd all like to see
so promising a career

unnecessarily interrupted.

Good-bye.

Yeah, Uh, bye, Mr... Hurly.

Bauman.

I'm astounded. [door closes]

If anyone had told me you'd let a guy
walk in here and put the arm on you,

I wouldn't have believed it.

Jerry, what are
you talking about?

Don, where were you?

I mean, nobody has a right to
be that preoccupied with a story.

Even Hemingway
would have looked up

if someone had implied
he was committing collusion.

Collusion?

Who said anything
about collusion?

"Boy meets girl.
Boy works in building.

Girls father falls in building."

Sign the waiver or...
forget your career.

Who said that?

He didn't say that, did he?

I give you a direct quote,

and I'm standing here waiting.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Nothing.

I wasn't even listening.

I can run out and get him back.

No, no, forget it, Jerry.
It's not that big a deal.

Some little guy...

Don, the man is
trying to blackmail you!

With what? I'm not
afraid of losing my job.

And Ann's father's
not gonna sue anyway.

There's nothin' wrong with him.

It's indecent for one man
to have that kind of security.

[door closes]

On the other
hand, Jerry's right.

No doubt about it.

Accuse him of collusion,

Hemingway would have looked up.

Don't worry about him.

Condition he's in,
you should worry

about his insurance
company. Good-bye.

Good-bye.

I could say it's
been a pleasure,

but why should I lie to
a such dear old friend?

Good-bye, Dr. Heindorf.

Good-bye, little Ann.

Bye.

Hold it! Oh, Donald,

the doctor said Daddy's fine.

Oh, that's good news, Mr. Marie.

Bet you were worried to death.

Well, I was concerned.

The magazine was
worried to death.

Be sure to tell your
magazine how flattered I am.

Actually, it was just this
guy in the claims department.

They don't have
anything to do with us.

You know how it
is with big business.

Anyway, they gave me
this waiver for you to sign.

Ah, and they say
organizations have no heart.

You know, Daddy, maybe you
ought to add a little "Thank you" note.

Thank you for letting
me fall in your corridor?

Honey.

Well, I mean, since
there was no harm done.

[door buzzer] Oh, I'll get it.

Hi, Jerry.

Hello, everybody. Just
checking. How's the victim?

There is no victim.

Daddy's feeling fine.

And I can't wait to
tell Hurly personally.

I better sign this waiver.

I've gotta start getting
back to Brewster.

Did... you say "waiver"?

Yeah. It's just a release
form to say Daddy isn't hurt

'c-'cause Daddy isn't hurt.

No, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
He... He isn't hurt today,

but what about tomorrow
and next week and next year?

No! No. I cannot

in all good conscience stand
here and let you sign a waiver.

Jerry, I honestly don't think
this is any of your business.

Oh, I suppose my Aunt
Martha wasn't my business.

What Aunt Martha?

The one who signed a waiver

just before she passed out,

and three years later, when
she didn't have a leg to stand on,

they told her she didn't
have a leg to stand on

'cause she didn't.

The boy has a point.

He also has a big mouth.

Why? Because you won't admit

that dummy had the effrontery...

The effrontery to hit the
magazine and let you go?

[Mr. Marie] You discussed
this with your company?

This begins to
sound like collusion.

Notice how I looked
up? Just like Hemingway.

Well, you're not gonna
get away with it. I won't sign.

[sighs]

One thing's for sure. What?

If Daddy won't sign the
waiver, there's no point

in sending a "Thank you" note.

We're, um... uh... an
intimate family here,

not just an unfeeling business.

Well, I've always
believed that, sir.

And we depend upon the integrity

and the... unshakable loyalty

of our employees, Mr. Hemminger.

Hem... That... That's Hollinger.

Hmm?

Oh! [chuckles] Oh,

yes, yes, of course. [chuckles]

Well, let's, uh, let's
dispense with formalities

and, uh... just use first names.

Now... that's our way, isn't it?

I... I guess it is... [chuckles]

Bob. [chuckles]

[chuckles]

What is it?

Uh... what is what?

Your first name.

Um...

[stammering] well,
it... it's Donald. Don.

Don. Donald. [chuckles]

Don, when I talk about, uh,

integrity and
unshakable loyalty,

now, I don't mean to
imply that you don't, uh,

think the same way
the rest of us think.

I mean, uh... well,
what the heck?

Every man dreams
about being rich someday.

[chuckles] Yes, sir.
It's great to be rich.

I'm rich, so I know
what I'm talking about.

I... I don't think you quite
understand, Mr. Prentiss.

Uh-uh. Bob.

Bob, Y-You see...

You know... I can remember

talks that I had with my dad

when, uh, he was
running News View

and I was still in college.

I'm talking to you now

in exactly the same way.

"Son," he used to say,

"application and
devotion to duty

is what gets the cabin raised."

Uh-huh. Uh, well...
Oh, yes, yes, I know.

Young people are impatient

to get rich quick,
do it the easy way.

Well...[chuckles] it
doesn't work that way.

It doesn't even last that way.

And believe me, you don't
enjoy it as much when you get it.

Now, did you ever
look at it that way?

Did you ever think
about things... that way?

No. Uh, no, I haven't,
to be perfectly honest.

I've been too busy
breaking my neck

tryin' to knock stories
out, meet deadlines,

and beat every other
magazine to the punch.

Well, do you think
for one minute

that that's gone unnoticed?

Do you think I'm
not aware of that

with each issue that
comes off the press?

Here's another
week of News View,

and a major
contributor to its success

is Dan Hemminger.

Don.

Dan Hollinger.

Don Hollinger.

I don't think that
you've paid any attention

to what I've been
trying to tell you

for the past ten minutes.

Uh, w-what is infinitely worse

is that you've been
paying no attention

to what I've been trying to
do for the past four years.

And now because someone I
happen to know fell in a corridor

and might be thinking of
suing for his inalienable rights,

it's being implied
that I'm disloyal

and that my job is in jeopardy.

Well, if any or
part of that is true,

I... I don't know what I'm
doing here in the first place.

You need another Hurly, not me.

I don't think I appreciate
your attitude, Dillinger...

Uh... I... I mean... Look.

Now you're not gonna have any
trouble remembering the name anymore,

if for no other reason
than its omission

from the directory
board in the lobby.

There'll be a space in the Hs

between "Hodgkins"
and "Hotsmith."

Look, I... I... Look, I
forgot what I started to say.

I quit!

I'll see you around... Bob.

But, Donald, you can't do that!

You can't throw away
a promising career

without explaining
all the facts.

What's the matter?
Donald's quit his job

because the magazine thinks
there's collusion between you.

That's ridiculous. We
don't even like each other.

Donald, I'm coming right
over. Now, you stay right there.

I mean, d-don't go out of town

or... or do anything foolish.

Not until I've had a
chance to plead with you.

Okay. Good-bye, Donald.

Now, Daddy, you've got to stop

all this lawsuit nonsense
and sign that waiver.

I most certainly will not!

All I need is a shrewd lawyer

who's willing to
apply himself a little,

and I could wind up
owning that magazine.

But there's nothing wrong
with you. Dr. Heindorf said so.

Are you gonna listen to a quack

who tried to take my
temperature with a ballpoint pen?

That "quack" has been
taking care of all of us

since before I was born.

But Hollinger's already quit.

What good will it do
if I drop the suit now?

Donald quit because
he's not the kind of man

who's gonna wait
around to get fired.

And besides, he's already been
threatened twice because of you.

Oh, Daddy, please.
I wouldn't ask you

if it weren't terribly
important to me.

All right. All right.

If it means that
much to you. It does.

If the Prince of Wales can
give up the throne of England

for a perfect stranger, it's the
least I can do for my own daughter.

Honey. Honey, I've been
deluding myself all these years.

Oh, no, you haven't, Donald.

It... It's just that you've
let yourself get all excited

and angry and mixed-up.

I think it's too much
association with me.

You're beginning to
overreact to everything.

I'm being realistic. I mean,
if you're gonna be a writer,

I mean really be a writer, then
security can't be all that important.

It's all my fault.

Well, what's wrong with that?

There's always a
woman behind a man,

helping him, encouraging him.

I'll write a novel or a play.

And when I get the
Pulitzer prize, I can say,

"I owe it all to this
girl and her father...

and a... leaky water cooler."

You're just saying that.

Oh, no. I mean it.

You don't.

I do. I really do.

Well, if... if that's the
way you really want it...

'Course, if worse
comes to worse,

I can always write for
television. [chuckles]

And if I ever play a part

in a television
show that you write,

I promise I'll never say,
"She wouldn't say that."

What bigger sacrifice
could an actress make?

[chuckles] [knock at door]

Oh, who is that?

Oh. Hi, Mr. Marie.

Hello. I've just come

from the publisher
of your magazine.

What happened, Daddy?

I said, "Mr. Prentiss,
I'm Lou Marie,

"and I'm perfectly
willing to drop this lawsuit

providing you reinstate
Hollinger immediately."

Why did you do that?

I don't want to go back
to work for News View.

Well, you're not going to...

'cause he told me I didn't
have a leg to stand on,

and then he threw
me out of his office.

And in addition, he
was pretty rude about it.

What, um, kind of
a television show?

Don, is it true what I heard?

Yeah, it's true.

You didn't quit?!
Of course I quit.

But you're throwing
away a career.

Look, Jerry, I have
thought it over very carefully,

and they have proven
to me that I mean

absolutely nothing to them.
Prove. Prove. What proof?

How can you go out and
throw yourself to the wolves?

Not a... a man like you.

Are... Are you gonna go
out and join that vast army

that can't write their names?

Nobodies who call
themselves writers? Huh?

What are you gonna
do, write poetry,

grow your hair long, wear beads?

Look, Jerry, I have
made up my mind.

Oh, boy! Don, I
feel responsible.

I just... The whole thing
is makin' me nauseous.

Look, Jerry, you had
nothing to do with it.

I appreciate your
concern, but forget it.

Hollinger!

Didn't I give you
a... I'm working on it!

You're packing.

Yeah, that's right, I'm packing.

They told me, and
I wouldn't believe it.

I said, "Hollinger, the most
valuable man on my staff

gonna walk? Never!"

How valuable can I be

when Prentiss doesn't
even know my name?

Prentiss? Prentiss who?

Big Bob. Up in the penthouse.

That Prentiss? What's
the matter with you?

He's a publisher.
What does he know?

He's the head of the company!

He got lucky!

If his father didn't die,
he'd be in the mail room.

Charlie, nevertheless,
he runs the magazine.

I run the magazine!
Anyway, who hired you?

Who gave you your
first opportunity?

Oh, l-look, Charlie, look, I can't
tell you how great you've been.

I'll tell you how
great I've been.

I gave you your first byline.

I recovered the
chairs in your office.

I gave you this pretty little
electric pencil sharpener

so you wouldn't have to go in
a closet and do that for hours.

All you have to do is this!

That's how great I've been,

and you've got no gratitude.

That's what it boils down to.

Oh, look, Charlie, I'm
very grateful to you.

"Grateful" isn't walking
out on a guy cold

and leaving him in a mess.
That's what you're doing.

Look, you know I
would never do that.

You wouldn't?
Then take this pencil,

sharpen it on your
electric pencil sharpener,

and write on a paper 100 times

"I will answer to
Charlie Lindstrom,

not to what's-his
name, the publisher."

Um... l-let me think
about it, Charlie.

How long?

[chuckles]

[sighs] Um, forget what I said.

I'm sorry. It's all over,

just like it never was. Whoo!

[whirring]

[door closes]

Well?

Well, I, uh... I had
a talk with Charlie.

Looks like I'm gonna stay.

Oh, Don, you're making

the smartest move in the
world, in the whole wide world.

Oh, you're gonna be big in the
magazine business someday.

They're gonna talk about you

the way they talk about Hearst,
Luce, uh, Horace Greeley.

Thanks, Jerry. Again, I
appreciate the sentiment.

Give me that, Bauman.
You can't handle it.

Listen, Don, take this
and put that zing into it.

You're the only one
who can do it. And, you,

go back on that
baby formula story.

Well, uh, gee, can
you imagine that?

How time flies.
Excuse me. I'm late.

So this is why
you didn't want me

to throw myself to
the wolves. Right?

Don, do you think for one moment

that I consider
myself in your class?

Do you think I feel
I'm on your level?

I know where I belong.
I know I need support.

[laughs] Even
Ruthie could help me

with a story about
a baby formula.

And she's waitin' for
me, if you'll excuse me.

Yeah, go ahead, Jerry. I
hate to see you get home

at a... indecent hour.

No, that's... impossible.

There is no way to fix this.

There is no way anyone on
News View could fix this story.

[clears throat] Except me.

[loud thud, shout]

Jerry!

Oh, my goodness!
Jerry, what happened?

Ohhh... my back. It's my back.

Don't... Don't touch me.
You'll start a chain reaction.

[Ann] What happened?

I was running over to the cooler

for a drink, and...
everything went black, and...

Well, there's... there's
water on the floor.

Have I got... unh...

Jerry. Jerry, what is it?

[painfully] Have
I got... a case?

No, I just threw it out.

Here, hold onto me. Ohh...

Daddy, take him into the office.

I'll call Dr. Wheeler again.

Ohh! It's an old
football injury.

I was tackled... What do you
kids know about bad backs?

One day over Berlin... At
least you don't have to worry

about risking your life
in this building anymore.

Oh, uh, honey, look,
I've decided to stay.

Oh, Donald, I'm so glad!

I was hoping you would.

And, Donald, I want you
to promise me something

for as long as you write
for News View. What?

Don't ever lose your ambition
or give up your dreams.

And always wear your galoshes.

Well. At least now
the back of everything

is gonna be as
clean as the front.

How'd you like to
make an arrangement

to come every Wednesday?

Usual fee... lunch in Car Pit.

No cheese sandwiches?

It's a deal.

[Ann chuckles]

[door closes] I beg your pardon.

I... didn't know
you had company.

[chuckles] Uh, she's the maid.

Well, I just wanted to
let you know that, uh...

we're on top of
last night's accident.

And we know the
victim is a friend of yours.

Another, uh...
coincidence, Hollinger?

Is this the man?

This is the man.

Look. Please. Before we
go all through this again,

let me tell you something.
The man who fell

is an employee
in the next office,

and the reason he fell is
because nobody reported

that leaky water cooler,

which has already almost
cost News View magazine

a major lawsuit. Now...

reporting that cooler.

Doesn't that fall
under your jurisdiction?

Well, I don't know.
Uh, perhaps so.

Well, I... I should think
you would've taken steps

to ensure the security
of these sacred halls.

I mean, if... if Mr., uh,
what's-his-name, the publisher,

ever found out, I don't think

he'd think too kindly
of such an oversight.

Well, if he heard
about it, he might not.

Does he have to hear
about it, Hollinger?

I mean, if I... take care
of it right away? Heh.

Uh, I... I'm... I'm sorry if I
caused you any inconvenience.

If there's anything that I
can do... Please. Please.

Please. It's only my
affection for this organization

that prevents me from
creating any further crisis.

Thanks... Thanks...
Thanks a lot, Hollinger.

Oh, nice to have
met you... maid.

[chuckles]

The things I do
for this company.

That's because
you love News View.

And I think when you love a
company, you should stay with it.

And, you know, a new company

would have...
Have different things

you'd have to get used to,

and they wouldn't understand you

the way your old company did.

I'll bet you'd...
you'd start thinking

about this place
and missing it, too.

Well, I certainly don't
want to go through life

carrying a torch for
News View magazine.

Or for you.

[chuckles] Well,
since neither one of us

is ever gonna let you go,

don't worry about it.

♪♪ [show theme]

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA