That Girl (1966–1971): Season 3, Episode 25 - Bad Day at Marvin Gardens - full transcript

[door buzzer]

Hi! Darling.

Oh, gosh, you're all wet.

Nice day your boyfriend picked
to take us to a baseball game.

All the way from Brewster,
he's blaming Don for the rain.

Well, why couldn't he get
tickets for a sunny day?

Oh, Daddy, it's not
Donald's fault it's raining!

I remember when we planned
to spend this weekend together,

I distinctly remember asking
what happens if it rains,

and your boyfriend said,

"Oh, it never rains when
I go to a baseball game."



Well, you can blame
him for over-confidence,

but you can't blame
him for the weather.

I'm only blaming
him for inviting us

to a baseball game that
obviously won't be played.

Lou, you don't know the
game won't be played.

If it's played today,
they'll play it on an ark.

What are you doing, Helen?

Taking the chill off.

But that's a fake fireplace.

I was getting warm
'til you told me.

Look, Daddy, will you
just sit down and relax?

We may miss the baseball game,

but Donald also got us
tickets to a musical tonight,

and that's not
gonna be rained out.



I wouldn't bet on it.

We're gonna have a nice weekend.

Now, don't start in on Don.

All right. I didn't want to go
to a baseball game, anyway.

I hate baseball.

It was her boyfriend who
wanted to see a ball game.

In the rain.

Ann, what are you doing?

I'm just getting some water.

Most people just
turn on a faucet.

Yeah, well, this is rain water.

I use it to wash my hair.

I don't know. You
give a girl everything,

try to bring her up right, and
she turns into a rain water saver.

[snickers]

Sometime I just don't
know about that girl.

♪♪ [theme]

[door buzzer]

Here, Daddy, that's
probably Donald.

Hi. Hi, honey.

Oh, you're all wet.

Oh, hello, Mrs.
Marie, Mr. Marie.

Um, I checked the stadium.
The game's been rained out.

I knew that when
I checked the sky.

Well, I'm very sorry, Mr. Marie.

It's not your fault
it rained, Don.

All right. It's raining,
and there's no ball game.

The question is, what
do we do this afternoon?

We don't have to do anything.

This is a chance
for us all to visit.

Visit? Sure!

Donald, would you
like some coffee?

Yeah, please. Good.

Yeah, it's so cozy with
the rain and everything.

We can just sit around and
have a nice conversation.

Okay, what will we have
a nice conversation about?

Well, that doesn't
really matter, Daddy,

just so it's nice.

I don't want to
talk about baseball.

No, no. That wouldn't be nice.

We can talk about world affairs,

or politics.

Uh-uh.

Don't you remember the
last time we talked politics?

Your father put on his
American Legion cap

and dared Donald
to knock it off.

Oh, yeah. That's right.

Yeah, let's not
talk about politics.

Can I help it if you
can't hold up your end

of an intelligent
political discussion?

Donald, why don't you
tell us some of the stories

you're covering for Newsview?

They're always so interesting.

Oh, no, no. I... Oh, come on.

No, honey, I don't think
your folks would be interested.

Of course they would.

Tell that one about the gang
that kidnapped the rich dog.

Well, that... that was
pretty fascinating.

You see, this very wealthy woman
on Park Avenue has this poodle, and...

[yawns]

I don't think anybody
wants to hear this.

I do, Don. I'm listening.

Well, uh... [snickers]

Well, you see, every afternoon,
this rich woman would...

I've got it. Why
don't we play cards?

Daddy, Don's in
the middle of a story!

I read the whole thing
yesterday in Newsview.

It was boring.

I wrote it.

Oh.

Ann, where do you
keep your cards?

In the drawer behind the bar.

[Helen] Cards are all right
with me as long as it's not poker.

Helen, will you
forget about that?

It happened years ago.

What's that? Uh, nothing.

Well, it must be something if mother
still won't play poker because of it.

You father and I were playing
poker with some friends in 1947,

and I got $10 behind.

Before he would advance
me any more money,

he insisted I sign over
my half of our Studebaker.

I was only trying to teach
you the value of money.

All right, we won't play poker.

Let's play pinochle.

Pinochle's a great game.

I don't know how
to play pinochle.

Well, it's a lot like bridge.

Then why don't we play bridge?

Look, why don't we play a game?

Like what?

Oh, I don't know. There are
so many here in the closet.

There must be
something we can play.

Let's see, uh...

Hey, how does Bamm-O sound?

Like a detergent.

How do you play Bamm-O?

Well, uh...

"An adult game in which
players pit their skill and luck

"against their opponents

in an attempt to disarm a
time bomb before it explodes."

What happens if you can't do it?

Bamm-o.

I don't think so, dear.

No?

Well... Oh, Donald,
here's one we've played!

World Power!

Oh, no, no. I hate that game.

Wait a minute. That
sounds very interesting.

How do you play it?

Each player gets
to be a country.

The object is to
take over the world.

The last time we
played, I was Italy.

I surrendered three
times in the first half hour.

[laughs]

Oh, I know. How about Monopoly?

I love that game!
That's a lot of fun.

All right, all right.
Let's play that.

All right, Helen, put the
tokens right down here.

Okay, I'll shuffle up the Chance
and the Community Chest.

All right.

What'd you turn the
board around for?

"Go" was on the other side.

What?

"Go." The thing you
pass to collect $200.

I always like it
right in front of me.

Oh.

Well, somebody has to be banker.

I'll be the banker.

Any objections to
my being a banker?

I make a very good banker.

No, but Daddy, ever
since I can remember,

you've always been the banker.

This game is like life.

It's business, making deals.

Give and take.

After all, I do run
my own business.

I'm the one most
qualified to be the banker.

Okay, pick your tokens.

We've got a hat,
shoe, racing car,

dog, iron, battleship
and a thimble.

Helen?

I'll take the racing car.

Maybe I'll get around
the board faster.

Ann?

Oh, uh... I'll take the doggy.

The doggy?

Donald, a very
small dog is a doggy.

This is a very small dog.

Oh.

I'll take the battleship.

You'll take the battleship?

I don't get a choice?

Yes, but... I was going
to take the battleship.

I always take the battleship.

Mr. Marie, with all due respect,

you chose yourself as banker,

I should think I'd get the
first pick in the battleship.

All right, if that's
what you think.

Well, look, look,
I'll tell you what:

we'll roll the dice.

High man gets the battleship.

Okay.

10!

11.

All right. Take your battleship.

I'll take the hat.

I hate the hat.

I always lose with it.

You could take the thimble.

Eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

Illinois Avenue.

My Illinois Avenue, right?

Now let's see.

Illinois Avenue rent:

with one house, $100.

$100. Mm-hmm.

Ooh, I don't have $100.

I had to mortgage my
property to pay the luxury tax.

Helen, a landlord
doesn't want excuses.

He wants the rent.

But I don't have it!

In a couple more turns, I'm
gonna pass Go, and get $200.

Can't you wait 'til then?

But you landed on
Illinois Avenue now!

And the rent is due now.

You're talking to your wife.

In Brewster, you're my wife.

On Illinois Avenue,
you're my tenant,

and if you can't pay your rent,

you'll have to leave the game.

Daddy, aren't you
going a little overboard?

It's only a game.

It's a game with
rules, and the rules are

that if your mother can't
pay her rent, out she goes.

Well, your father's right.
We have to play by the rules.

Uh, I'm out of the game.

Four.

One, two, three, four.

Indiana Avenue.

You know who owns those three
houses sitting on Indiana Avenue?

I have an idea you're
not gonna keep it a secret.

How much do I owe you?

$700.

Ooh.

$700...

$700. Do you have it?

Wait a minute.

Let's see. If I mortgage
these, plus my cash,

I've got $680.

The rent is $700.

Well, I'm only $20 short.

Won't you take the $680?

See that? Indiana Avenue rent.

With one house, $90.

With three houses, $700.

Nowhere on this card does
it say anything about $680.

Here, $20. That makes $700.

Oh, thank you, Donald.

It's against the rule for one player
to give another player money.

Mr. Marie, I am not
giving her the money.

Let's call it a loan.

That's against the rules, too.

You mean to say Donald
can't lend me $20 if he wants to?

Hmm-mm. I'd like
to see that rule.

Here it is. The last one
under miscellaneous.

"No player may borrow from or
lend money to another player."

Okay, Daddy, you win.

Of course.

All right, I am now
officially out of the game,

and you two have exactly
10 minutes to finish.

What? Well, we have to get
dressed to go to the theater.

You and mother have to go
back to the hotel and change.

What about him?

He has to go back to his
apartment and change.

Okay, okay. I can finish
him off in 10 minutes.

Wait a minute.

Isn't it my turn?

Yes, but I want to make a deal.

How'd you like to
sell Marvin Gardens?

How much?

Oh, let's say $200.

[scoffs] Are you kidding?

I paid $280 for it.

But it's not doing any
good just sitting there.

No. No thanks, Mr. Marie.

Okay... I'll give you $280.

No... No, I don't think so.

Marvin Gardens would
give you another monopoly.

It would also give you $280.

No.

Come on, Lou, we
have to go get dressed.

$350.

No, no. No thanks.

Daddy, you and mother
have to go back to the hotel.

We're gonna be late.

In a minute.

That's what you
said half an hour ago.

Donald and I are in
the middle of a deal.

$400.

No.

What's wrong with my money?

Nothing, I just
don't feel like selling.

Look...

It was those cracks I made about
the ball game being rained out.

No, no, no. No, really.

I just don't want to sell.

Lou, we have to go.

Just a minute.

Maybe we better quit, Mr. Marie.

Quit? I'm no quitter, Hollinger.

We're gonna miss the curtain.

Don't tell me, tell the
quitter who won't sell.

I am not a quitter.

Well, then, sell me
Marvin Gardens.

I don't want to sell
Marvin Gardens.

Donald, it's only a game.

If Daddy wants Marvin Gardens,

and giving him Marvin Gardens
is gonna keep us from being late,

give him Marvin Gardens.

Okay, okay.

If he wants Marvin Gardens,
he can have Marvin Gardens.

For how much? For nothing.

I'll just give it to you.

Nobody gives Lou
Marie Marvin Gardens.

Mr. Marie... What
am I, a charity case?

I've made my own way
ever since I was 12 years old.

Selling newspapers,
odd jobs, anything,

'til I saved up enough money
to open my own business.

Nobody ever gave me anything,

and nobody's gonna
give me Marvin Gardens.

Oh, good, then you've
reached a stalemate.

Now, Daddy, why
don't you get started?

In a minute. But
you just said...

I just said nobody gives
me Marvin Gardens.

$500 and the B & O Railroad,
and that's my final offer.

[clears throat]

I'll throw in the Water Works.

[no audible dialogue]

That'll give you a
monopoly on the utilities.

Mr. Marie, I really don't think
this is the place to discuss it.

Why not? I made you
an offer in good faith.

Daddy! Shh.

Shh, yourself.

[sighs]

Oh, I thought you'd be in bed.

I can't be in two
places at the same time.

I've got some pacing to do.

Well, it's late, Lou, and we have to
be at Ann's for brunch in the morning.

You sleep.

I'm gonna walk around the room.

Why?

Because I'm tense, that's why.

I'm gonna walk off
some of my tenseness.

What's there to be tense about?

Life. Business. Everything.

I'll tell you, Helen, it's
a dog-eat-dog world.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that
everybody's out for himself.

A man's opening a restaurant
two blocks away from mine

to try and put me
out of business.

Another restaurant wants to
steal my chef away from me.

I haven't told you about this
because I didn't want you to worry.

I appreciate that.

On top of everything else,

I have a daughter
who's running around

with a selfish, stubborn man.

Are you still brooding

about that silly piece of
make-believe property?

It's not just Marvin
Gardens, Helen.

It's the idea behind it.

Don offered to give
you Marvin Gardens.

Sure, give.

He was just being patronizing.

I can't stand being patronized.

Shows he hasn't
any respect for me.

Helen, I demand respect.

And I demand some sleep.

If not respect,
at least loyalty.

You're on his side.

I'm not on anybody's side.

I just want some sleep!

All right, Helen, that's it.

Nobody but nobody
turns the light out on me.

Where are you going?

To get another room.

Ann, I am starving. Will
you get out of the way?

What can one lousy
piece of bacon hurt?

You know my father.

He can't stand it when anybody
starts eating without him.

[door buzzer]

They're here. Get the food on.

Hello, Mrs. Marie,
Mr... Where's Daddy?

Well, if he isn't here, then
he must be in his room.

His room?

You mean, not
your room together?

His room alone?

Well, you see when we got
back to the hotel last night

he was pacing up and down

and going on about
how selfish Don was.

Selfish?

Because you wouldn't
sell him Marvin Gardens.

Mother, Donald offered to
give Daddy Marvin Gardens.

I pointed that out,

but he claimed that Don
was only being patronizing.

That's silly.

I told him that,

and he said he had to
have respect and loyalty

and then I turned out the light.

And he said, "Nobody
turns out the light on him."

And that when he took
the other room. Yes.

Well, if you ask me, Daddy's
acting completely childish.

Well, at the risk of sounding
disloyal, I have to agree.

I mean, to make such a
big fuss over a silly game.

It's really carrying
things too far,

and that's exactly
what I'm gonna tell him.

Right now.

Ann, sit down.

What?

I said sit down.

Why'd you say sit down?

Because you're wrong.

About what?

About your father.

Well, Donald, it seems to me
you'd be the last to defend him.

He was mad at you.

He was mad at me because
he's a man of principle.

If he believes in
something, he fights for it.

He believes in Marvin Gardens?

No. No, no.

He believes in the
principle of Marvin Gardens.

The principle? Honey...
Honey, sit down.

All his life, he's had to
fight for anything he's got.

He had to fight to
get into business,

and he has to fight
to stay in business.

Donald, you
sound like Bill Stern.

Okay. Okay, it sounds hokey.

But I suppose you think
Patrick Henry was hokey.

Well, if he'd said "Give me
Marvin Gardens or give me death,"

I'd call him hokey.

Maybe so.

But your father lives
his life by a set of rules,

and he plays his
games the same way.

He's a very special kind of guy.

There aren't many
like him anymore.

Don's right.

He's stubborn, bull-headed
and impossible to live with,

and those are only three of
the reasons that I love him.

Well, I don't suppose Patrick Henry
was any picnic to live with, either.

Thank you, Don.

You know, I'm so close to Lou, I
think I take him for granted some times.

[door buzzer] I'll get it.

Oh, Daddy, we've been
so worried about you.

Why?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to you, too.

No need to be sorry.

I was just explaining
to Ann and Mrs. Marie...

well, about what
kind of man you are.

No need to explain. They
know what kind of fool I am.

Last night, I kept
hearing a voice.

It kept saying, "Lou Marie,
you've made a fool of yourself."

Oh, no you didn't, Daddy.

Besides, you'll probably never see
those people at the theater again.

It wasn't just the theater,
and it wasn't just the game.

It's my whole life.

Last night I asked myself,

"Why do you act like that?"

It's a foolish way to act.

And I answered myself, "You
act foolish because you're a fool."

Oh, Daddy...

Well, well, well,
the important thing is

that you found out
before it was too late.

I mean, after all, it's not like losing
a game is the end of the world.

Losing?

Well, what is it?
Just a silly game.

I'd better be running
along. Bye, honey.

Bye, Mrs. Marie.

[Lou] Uh, Hollinger.

Yeah?

Not that I care,

but just to set the
record straight,

I didn't lose that game.

We didn't finish,
so it's a draw.

Oh, sure. Sure.

Well, it just seemed as long as
you didn't want to play anymore...

Not wanting to play
anymore isn't losing.

It's a draw.

Oh, okay. Well, sure.

Sure, we'll call it a draw.

What do you
mean, call it a draw?

It is a draw.

Well, okay. Whatever you say.

It isn't what I
say, it's what it is.

Okay.

No, it isn't okay

if you really don't
think it's okay.

I said it's okay.

But you don't think it's okay.

Well, what does it
matter what I think?

It matters to me what you think.

I don't want people going
around thinking it isn't okay.

Hollinger, sit down.

There's no point in
calling this game a draw

if it's going to leave a
bad taste in your mouth.

No, no. We wouldn't
want to do that, would we?

Now let's see, it
was my roll, wasn't it?

Wait a minute. As long
as you insist on playing,

I may as well level with you.

I want to buy Marvin Gardens.

Uh-huh. Well, I
might be interested.

What's your offer?

$200. $200?

Last night, it was $500, the B
& O Railroad and all the utilities.

That was last night. You didn't
act in time, so the deal fell through.

Let me tell you
something, Hollinger,

if you keep stalling, I'm
gonna drop the price to $100.

And if you turn that down,
I'll ruin you in this town.

I'll force you out
of this game so fast

that your Marvin Gardens won't
be worth the paper it's printed on.

Stubborn, bull-headed,
impossible to live with.

Yeah, it's nice having
Daddy himself again.

Uh... $100.

$100 for Baltic Avenue?

That's the crummiest
property on the whole board.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Not when you
realize it's right next to "Go."

Come to think of it, I
don't want to sell Baltic.

Nope. No, it's
much too valuable.

Of course, if you were to
throw in the Short Line...

Throw in the Short Line?
That's highway robbery.

Hollinger, you're a
pirate, you know that?

Doing business with you
is like petting a barracuda.

But you're really learning, kid.

A few more games with me and you'll
turn out to be a real monopoly player.

Thanks.

Any more coffee? Yep.

I'll get you some.

[mumbling]

They're never gonna quit.

Never.

Do you have to be up early?

No, this is for Donald. He
has to be at work in four hours.

Well... Mother? Hmm?

Remember how we always
used to try and think of things

to get Daddy and
Donald together?

Yeah.

We better start thinking of
something to get them apart.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA