That Girl (1966–1971): Season 3, Episode 23 - Fly Me to the Moon - full transcript
With only an address and contact name in hand from her agent, Ann attends what she believes is an audition, the part of which she is unaware. So she is surprised when the address is for an air force office, and the contact name, Brian James, is a reservist major. The job, which she has already been approved for by the government, is a short term one as Miss Air Force, whose role is to provide a face for public relations in an effort to recruit women, specifically to recruit the first American woman sent to the moon. Despite Ann believing she isn't right for the job, Major James personally picked her after seeing her perform in a play. The job has Major James flying Ann all around the country for personal appearances and photographic shoots. Donald isn't too happy about Ann's new job for two reasons. First, Ann was supposed to be in charge of the remodeling work in his apartment, the actual work which has just started, and Ann who was supposed to deal with all the contractors. With Ann gone, Donald either has to figure things out with the contractors himself or get in touch with Ann wherever she may be at the moment the contractors are bugging him for answers. And second, despite Ann stating that Major James doesn't really seem to like her based on his standoffish attitude toward her, Donald believes it's all an act and that he will soon make his play for her.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, I'm so sorry!
Oh, that's okay.
[Man] May I help you?
Well, yes. I'm here
for an interview.
Uh, interview? Yes, for a job.
Photo-mapping?
Intelligence? Bio-Medical?
Communications? Actress.
Actress.
Yes. You see,
I got this message from
my answering service
that my agent wanted me
to come here to this address.
Well, this... this must
be the wrong address,
or maybe my agent is
trying to tell me something.
Uh, sorry, miss.
Oh, that's all right.
Thank you.
Oh!
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Here, let me help you.
I-I'll manage.
Uh, could you please tell
me if there just happens to be
a Brian James in this building?
Oh, is your interview
with Major James?
Major James?
Your name, miss?
Ann Marie.
Uh, one moment.
Uh, Major James?
Uh, yes, sir. There's a Miss
Ann Marie here to see you.
Uh, yes, sir.
He's expecting you.
Just through those doors
and the first office on your right.
Thank you.
On the right?
Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
Who is she?
She may be the one who helps us
put the first woman on the moon.
That girl?
♪♪ [theme]
Ahem.
You're the girl from the
Gilliam and Norris office?
Yes, sir, uh, Major James, I am.
I'm Ann Marie.
Smile.
Smile? Yes, smile.
Oh, oh.
Not quite so forced.
Well, it's... It
would help a lot
if I knew what I
was smiling about.
I don't even know
why I was sent here.
About face.
What about it?
No. I mean turn around.
Oh.
Weren't you briefed
by your agent?
Well, no. He just
gave me this address
and told me to ask for you.
But even though I think the Air Force
does some really marvelous things,
I don't think it's for me.
I mean, I'm very patriotic,
but I'm too short.
Besides, I already
have a vocation.
I'm an actress.
Yes, I know you're an actress.
I've seen you...
Off-Broadway in
something or other.
Oh. Was it Pearls Before Swine?
Could have been.
I'm in charge of setting up
a new recruitment
campaign for the Air Force.
I was the mountain
girl. Remember?
And I was lonely
and... and desperate.
When?
In Pearls Before Swine.
No, I don't remember.
You don't remember me
in the part at all? Vaguely.
If you don't remember me at all,
why did you want to see me?
Well, I'm not interested
in your work as an actress.
What I need is an image.
You're not interested?
I need a look: Miss Air Force.
I was in all three acts.
Sit down, please.
I need a young woman
who is charming,
capable, and programmed
for the challenge.
The excitement of
space and tomorrow.
Well, if your memory
of me is that dim,
what makes you think I
can be all those things?
I'm going to make the
public believe that you are.
I'm with Pyle, Powell and
Petrov Public Relations.
"Charisma by the yard."
Then what are you doing
masquerading in that uniform?
Air Force Reserve.
This is my annual tour.
My project is to sell
the Women's Air Force,
helping in the advanced
studies for manned space flights.
The Russians put a female
up there, and so can we.
Me? I haven't even
been to Rhode Island,
and I devoutly believe
in seeing America first.
We're interested in getting
women into the space program
who have imagination,
intelligence and capability.
Yes. Well... Well,
that's very nice, Major,
but it seems to me that I'm
not what you have in mind.
We're not really interested
in putting you on the moon.
You're going to pose
for recruiting posters
and appear in television spots.
Oh, Major, I really
don't think I can.
It's out of our hands.
You have already been
approved by the Pentagon.
I have?
You will make
personal appearances
at most of the major bases,
shoot an indoctrination film.
Well, I'll give you the
itinerary over lunch.
Lunch?
Yes, lunch.
You like seafood?
Yes, I do,
but, Major, believe
me, you are not going
to influence me over
an elaborate lunch.
I assure you, I'm not
trying to influence you.
I just happen to be hungry.
Come on, get the lead out.
Oh, my gosh.
This is so beautiful.
But I thought you said
we were going to lunch.
We are. We'll be
there in 10 minutes.
We'll be where?
The best seafood
restaurant in the country.
Oh, is it in New Jersey?
New Orleans.
New Orleans, Louisiana?
You're kidding.
I never kid about seafood.
But I have to be back in
New York this afternoon.
You will be.
Well, you had no right...
[thrusters roaring]
Oh! Donald, You're here.
I wanted to have dinner ready
by the time you got home.
Honey, it's almost 7:30.
Oh, well, it's an hour
earlier in New Orleans.
What does New
Orleans got to do with it?
I'll have dinner
ready in nothing flat.
You just relax.
Where?
Oh.
Well, uh, lean
against something.
Honey, where were
you this afternoon?
Oh, my gosh. The
stove's disconnected.
Everything in this
apartment's disconnected.
Look, it was your idea for me
to redecorate in the first place.
It's a little inconvenient now.
By the time I get
everything fixed up,
you won't know this
place. I don't know it now.
You were supposed to meet a
carpenter here this afternoon.
Oh, boy. I knew
there was something.
Yeah, he left. He said maybe he
can get back in six months or so.
I can always get
another carpenter.
The question is, how am I gonna
fix dinner on a disconnected stove?
Okay. Well, look, I'm
not hungry. Neither am I.
I had an enormous lunch
at this great restaurant.
Where? New Orleans.
Never heard of it.
You never heard of New
Orleans? Where is it?
On the Gulf of Mexico.
Y-Y-You mean New
Orleans, Louisiana?
Mm-hmm. That's
why I was a little late.
You had lunch in New
Orleans, Louisiana?
We went down in a jet. We'd
have been back a lot earlier,
except Major James had
to stop off at Scranton.
Major James?
Oh, Donald,
we made our
approach from the north,
and we could see the sun
setting on the Great Lakes.
It was absolutely gorgeous.
Major James? New
Orleans? The Great Lakes?
Donald, will you stop
repeating everything I say?
You know... You know,
I could be writing
a series of articles
on the changing
face of Hong Kong
or the changing
face of Florence,
and I like the
fettuccini in Florence.
But no, no. I talked the editor
into letting me write
a series of articles
on the changing
face of Manhattan.
And why? So I could be with you.
But what happens?
You're gonna be buzzing
all over the map with
some plane jockey.
And what about my apartment?
Donald, I said I'd
redecorate your apartment,
and I'm going to.
Your comfort and peace of mind
means a great deal to me.
I'm glad.
But I also care about putting
the first American
woman on the moon.
Is that so wrong?
No, no.
I've given that some
thought myself on occasion.
I'm sure I don't
know what you mean.
You do, too, but I
love you anyway.
Well, I'm glad somebody does.
Major James certainly doesn't.
Oh? How do you know?
He ignores me.
Saw me in a play, doesn't
even remember me.
Treats me as if I
was 5 years old.
I don't know why he
picked me to begin with.
Mm-hmm.
It is really annoying.
Mm-hmm.
What does that mean?
Just another approach.
What do you mean,
"just another approach"?
This is the old
"Saw me in a play,
doesn't remember me" routine.
Oh, Donald, don't be ridiculous.
If there's one thing I
can tell, it's a routine,
and believe me, Major
James is giving me no routine.
He wouldn't give
me the right time.
What time is it?
What difference does it make?
I knew it.
Big smile, please.
Thank you. Very good.
Oh, thank you.
Okay, Spellman, that
wraps it up. Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Now, let's see.
We have a press
conference in an hour,
and then we go...
Did I do all right?
Fine.
Thank you very much.
You got this job because
you're a professional.
You do something I don't
like, and I'll tell you about it.
Now, after the press conference,
we're going to the Veterans' Hospital.
And at 5:00, we
take off for Florida.
Florida?
You're taping a TV
interview on the base there.
But I'm expected.
Donald's waiting for me.
The boyfriend, can't he struggle
along without you for a few hours?
Look, you don't understand. There are
a lot of decisions that have to be made.
It strikes me that you're
being overprotective.
Why don't you let him
make a few on his own?
Look, you don't understand...
Besides, we'll be back
here tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning? I can't
spend the night with you.
Oh, that's a shame.
Oh, well, that's
not what I meant.
That's what you said.
Well, let's get the lead out.
[doorbell buzzes]
Okay.
We're the painters.
Oh, yeah. Well, come on in.
Uh, listen, can you
just sort of work around?
I've got a deadline
to meet, and I seem
to do better here
than at the office.
What line of work you in?
I'm a writer.
A writer!
We get paid in advance?
Yeah.
Oh, it's nothin' personal.
It's just that most
writers are slow pay.
You know what I mean?
Uh, yeah.
You just start
anywhere, and paint fast,
you know what I mean?
Which tone did you decide on?
Tone?
Sahara Dusk or Harvest Haze?
I thought that was decided
between you and Miss Marie.
Me and the lady narrowed
it down from 200 to two.
She said she'd tell us
which one when we got here.
Oh.
Well, she went to
Florida last night.
Florida.
Yeah, but she'll be
back in the morning.
[ring] Oh, excuse me.
Hello? [Ann] Donald?
Oh, Ann, honey, listen,
the painters are here,
and they want to know
whether you decided on
Sahara Dusk or Harvard Haze.
Sahara Dusk or Harvest Haze.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, well, um, I
can't really decide
until I see the two
shades with the draperies.
Are they there yet?
They haven't arrived yet.
Where are you calling from?
Chicago.
Chicago? You said you
were going to Florida.
Well, we did, but we're
coming back a different route.
Listen, Donald...
Don't worry. I'll see
you in a little while.
Bye.
Okay.
She's in Chicago.
Chicago?
They're coming back that way.
From Florida?
Yeah.
[chuckles]
You sure we got paid
in advance? Yeah.
Donald? Donald, I
thought I better call you.
[Donald] Ann, where are you?
Well, I'm in Hudson's Bay.
Honey, the drapes are here.
The painters have to know.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, but, uh...
well, there's a weather front
between here and New York,
so we have to fly in
by way of Greenland.
Greenland?
[Both] Greenland?
Yeah. Okay, honey.
All right. Bye-bye.
Well, look, I'm sorry
to hold you up this way.
At these prices, we
don't mind waitin'.
Would you mind if I asked
you a direct question?
Not if you don't mind
getting a direct answer.
Why did you pick me for Miss
Air Force if you don't like me?
You were right for the job.
Liking you had
nothing to do with it.
Well, it would make
things a bit more pleasant.
You've got Donald.
He likes you so much,
he lets you make all
his decisions for him.
Donald happens to be
a very self-reliant person.
He doesn't need
me nor anybody else
to make up his mind for him.
[Donald on speaker] Ann?
Can you hear me? Ann?
One moment, sir.
AF-4 to J-29.
Do you read me, J-29?
We read you. Go ahead.
[Man] Go ahead.
[Donald] Ann? Can you hear me?
Ann?
Donald? Donald, where are you?
In my apartment. In what
used to be my apartment.
Why? What's the matter?
Honey, I can't make
these decisions,
and they're all after me
for some kind of an answer.
All? Who all?
Painters, carpenters,
drapery hangers,
carpet layers, upholsters.
I'm surrounded.
Harvest Haze or Sahara Dusk?
9-inch shelves or
10-inch shelves?
Silk-line drapes or nylon?
Rubber padding or synthetic?
Recover the chair in
pomegranate or puce?
Donald, it's Harvest Haze.
Use the 10-inch
shelves, silk lining,
rubber padding,
and... pomegranate.
W-W-What size shelves?
She said 10-inch.
Oh, thank you.
And what about the chair?
Pomegranate!
How do you spell that?
[Major James] Pomegranate.
P-O-M-E-G-R-A-N-A-T-E.
Pomegranate.
Thank you.
He's gonna wish she'd made
those shelves at least 12 inches.
[muttering indistinct]
Hi. Hi.
Well, it's amazing.
You've hardly aged at all.
It's only been a couple of days.
Yeah, well, I feel 10 years
older. You're working too hard.
I haven't been
able to work at all.
All I've been doing is
walking and thinking.
Have you been here long?
I've been here all afternoon.
Boy, did I get a lot done.
You're really
gonna be surprised.
Please, no more surprises.
Where are you going? Oh, Donald.
We're taking off for San
Francisco in an hour and a half.
But I just got here.
I know. I'm sorry.
But I'll be finished
in a couple of days.
Bye.
Give my regards to
your Major James.
My Major James?
He doesn't even know I'm alive.
Oh, yeah?
Still giving you the old "not
paying any attention to you,
don't know you're
alive" routine, huh?
I'd love to stand here
and argue with you,
but the Air Force is waiting.
Bye.
I'll be here, and there'll
be a star in the window.
I thought the idea
was for me to recruit
some other woman
to go to the moon.
We need a picture of you
wearing it, so stop complaining.
I'm not complaining. I was
only wondering how long
I had to stay inside
this... [no audio]
Operator? Operator,
I'd like to place
a person-to-person call...
person-to-person call to
San Francisco, California.
Yes. Thank you.
[whirring]
[no audible dialogue]
No, no, it cannot wait.
I have to ask her a very
important question right now.
[whirring] [no audible dialogue]
[Donald on speaker] Ann?
Oh, Donald.
Donald, where are you?
What are you doing?
I'm, uh... lying
in a centrifuge,
and I'm spinning around.
Is he in there with you?
Oh, Donald, don't be ridiculous.
He's outside... watching me.
Sure. Sure.
The old "got you spinning
around in a centrifuge
outside watching you routine."
I'm sorry to interrupt
your fun and games,
but I cannot find my
newspaper clippings.
What? What clippings?
The clippings I've been
saving for years and years,
the ones on which I was
gonna base my article
on the changing
face of Manhattan.
Now, honey, they were in a
box in the bottom desk drawer.
And now they're gone.
Oh, you mean a box of
old pieces of newspaper?
Right. Have you seen them?
Donald, that was not in
the bottom desk drawer.
That was on the floor.
I don't care where they were.
Where are they now?
You did what with them?
"On the present
site of the terminal
stood the architectural dare"...
"Continued page 23."
Page 23.
Page 23.
I don't believe it.
Page 23.
23...
Page 23.
"Milliken Building."
Back of a toilet seat.
Well, here we are.
Thank you so much,
Major, for bringing me home.
My pleasure.
Oh, well, thank you.
I'd like to apologize if I've
seemed too abrupt or impersonal.
Oh, no, you haven't
been too impersonal at all.
Oh, I must have. I know how
I am when I'm under pressure.
Believe me, Major, you have
absolutely nothing to apologize for.
So now that it's over,
I'd like to take this
opportunity to say...
Good-bye and good luck.
Good-bye?
And good luck.
Oh, thank you.
Well, how do you like that?
The old "good-bye
and good luck" routine.
[knocking on door]
Hi. Hi.
Well? How do you like it?
You did a great job,
but I was right, wasn't I?
What, about the Sahara
Dusk and the Harvest Haze?
I mean about Major Brian, he
brought you home personally, correct?
Correct. Uh-huh. He carried
your suitcases upstairs.
You asked him to come in
and offered him a sandwich.
You know, being
polite. Right? Right.
And then va-voom.
Va-voom? Yeah, he
made his move, right?
Right. I knew it. I knew it.
I told you I was a pretty
good judge of human nature.
Well, you can imagine me. I was
never so embarrassed in my whole life.
You should have seen me. First,
he gets me over by my fireplace.
And out of the clear blue he
says, "Just a minute, baby."
And then the next thing I know,
practically like a strangle hold.
And somehow I just
manage to break free,
and I ran over, and I got
the couch between us.
And I said, "Major,"
very indignant-like.
The next thing I know,
he rolls behind me,
and he starts coming
closer and closer to me.
And I was just about to
scream, and then I remembered,
"Oh, my gosh, the neighbors,"
so I ran as fast as I could to
the door. But he was faster.
And he kept coming
closer and closer to me.
Then you can
imagine what he did.
Never touched you, huh?
Never laid a finger on me.
I knew it.
You knew what?
The old "never touched you,
never laid a finger
on you" routine.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services Burbank, CA
Oh, that's okay.
[Man] May I help you?
Well, yes. I'm here
for an interview.
Uh, interview? Yes, for a job.
Photo-mapping?
Intelligence? Bio-Medical?
Communications? Actress.
Actress.
Yes. You see,
I got this message from
my answering service
that my agent wanted me
to come here to this address.
Well, this... this must
be the wrong address,
or maybe my agent is
trying to tell me something.
Uh, sorry, miss.
Oh, that's all right.
Thank you.
Oh!
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Here, let me help you.
I-I'll manage.
Uh, could you please tell
me if there just happens to be
a Brian James in this building?
Oh, is your interview
with Major James?
Major James?
Your name, miss?
Ann Marie.
Uh, one moment.
Uh, Major James?
Uh, yes, sir. There's a Miss
Ann Marie here to see you.
Uh, yes, sir.
He's expecting you.
Just through those doors
and the first office on your right.
Thank you.
On the right?
Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
Who is she?
She may be the one who helps us
put the first woman on the moon.
That girl?
♪♪ [theme]
Ahem.
You're the girl from the
Gilliam and Norris office?
Yes, sir, uh, Major James, I am.
I'm Ann Marie.
Smile.
Smile? Yes, smile.
Oh, oh.
Not quite so forced.
Well, it's... It
would help a lot
if I knew what I
was smiling about.
I don't even know
why I was sent here.
About face.
What about it?
No. I mean turn around.
Oh.
Weren't you briefed
by your agent?
Well, no. He just
gave me this address
and told me to ask for you.
But even though I think the Air Force
does some really marvelous things,
I don't think it's for me.
I mean, I'm very patriotic,
but I'm too short.
Besides, I already
have a vocation.
I'm an actress.
Yes, I know you're an actress.
I've seen you...
Off-Broadway in
something or other.
Oh. Was it Pearls Before Swine?
Could have been.
I'm in charge of setting up
a new recruitment
campaign for the Air Force.
I was the mountain
girl. Remember?
And I was lonely
and... and desperate.
When?
In Pearls Before Swine.
No, I don't remember.
You don't remember me
in the part at all? Vaguely.
If you don't remember me at all,
why did you want to see me?
Well, I'm not interested
in your work as an actress.
What I need is an image.
You're not interested?
I need a look: Miss Air Force.
I was in all three acts.
Sit down, please.
I need a young woman
who is charming,
capable, and programmed
for the challenge.
The excitement of
space and tomorrow.
Well, if your memory
of me is that dim,
what makes you think I
can be all those things?
I'm going to make the
public believe that you are.
I'm with Pyle, Powell and
Petrov Public Relations.
"Charisma by the yard."
Then what are you doing
masquerading in that uniform?
Air Force Reserve.
This is my annual tour.
My project is to sell
the Women's Air Force,
helping in the advanced
studies for manned space flights.
The Russians put a female
up there, and so can we.
Me? I haven't even
been to Rhode Island,
and I devoutly believe
in seeing America first.
We're interested in getting
women into the space program
who have imagination,
intelligence and capability.
Yes. Well... Well,
that's very nice, Major,
but it seems to me that I'm
not what you have in mind.
We're not really interested
in putting you on the moon.
You're going to pose
for recruiting posters
and appear in television spots.
Oh, Major, I really
don't think I can.
It's out of our hands.
You have already been
approved by the Pentagon.
I have?
You will make
personal appearances
at most of the major bases,
shoot an indoctrination film.
Well, I'll give you the
itinerary over lunch.
Lunch?
Yes, lunch.
You like seafood?
Yes, I do,
but, Major, believe
me, you are not going
to influence me over
an elaborate lunch.
I assure you, I'm not
trying to influence you.
I just happen to be hungry.
Come on, get the lead out.
Oh, my gosh.
This is so beautiful.
But I thought you said
we were going to lunch.
We are. We'll be
there in 10 minutes.
We'll be where?
The best seafood
restaurant in the country.
Oh, is it in New Jersey?
New Orleans.
New Orleans, Louisiana?
You're kidding.
I never kid about seafood.
But I have to be back in
New York this afternoon.
You will be.
Well, you had no right...
[thrusters roaring]
Oh! Donald, You're here.
I wanted to have dinner ready
by the time you got home.
Honey, it's almost 7:30.
Oh, well, it's an hour
earlier in New Orleans.
What does New
Orleans got to do with it?
I'll have dinner
ready in nothing flat.
You just relax.
Where?
Oh.
Well, uh, lean
against something.
Honey, where were
you this afternoon?
Oh, my gosh. The
stove's disconnected.
Everything in this
apartment's disconnected.
Look, it was your idea for me
to redecorate in the first place.
It's a little inconvenient now.
By the time I get
everything fixed up,
you won't know this
place. I don't know it now.
You were supposed to meet a
carpenter here this afternoon.
Oh, boy. I knew
there was something.
Yeah, he left. He said maybe he
can get back in six months or so.
I can always get
another carpenter.
The question is, how am I gonna
fix dinner on a disconnected stove?
Okay. Well, look, I'm
not hungry. Neither am I.
I had an enormous lunch
at this great restaurant.
Where? New Orleans.
Never heard of it.
You never heard of New
Orleans? Where is it?
On the Gulf of Mexico.
Y-Y-You mean New
Orleans, Louisiana?
Mm-hmm. That's
why I was a little late.
You had lunch in New
Orleans, Louisiana?
We went down in a jet. We'd
have been back a lot earlier,
except Major James had
to stop off at Scranton.
Major James?
Oh, Donald,
we made our
approach from the north,
and we could see the sun
setting on the Great Lakes.
It was absolutely gorgeous.
Major James? New
Orleans? The Great Lakes?
Donald, will you stop
repeating everything I say?
You know... You know,
I could be writing
a series of articles
on the changing
face of Hong Kong
or the changing
face of Florence,
and I like the
fettuccini in Florence.
But no, no. I talked the editor
into letting me write
a series of articles
on the changing
face of Manhattan.
And why? So I could be with you.
But what happens?
You're gonna be buzzing
all over the map with
some plane jockey.
And what about my apartment?
Donald, I said I'd
redecorate your apartment,
and I'm going to.
Your comfort and peace of mind
means a great deal to me.
I'm glad.
But I also care about putting
the first American
woman on the moon.
Is that so wrong?
No, no.
I've given that some
thought myself on occasion.
I'm sure I don't
know what you mean.
You do, too, but I
love you anyway.
Well, I'm glad somebody does.
Major James certainly doesn't.
Oh? How do you know?
He ignores me.
Saw me in a play, doesn't
even remember me.
Treats me as if I
was 5 years old.
I don't know why he
picked me to begin with.
Mm-hmm.
It is really annoying.
Mm-hmm.
What does that mean?
Just another approach.
What do you mean,
"just another approach"?
This is the old
"Saw me in a play,
doesn't remember me" routine.
Oh, Donald, don't be ridiculous.
If there's one thing I
can tell, it's a routine,
and believe me, Major
James is giving me no routine.
He wouldn't give
me the right time.
What time is it?
What difference does it make?
I knew it.
Big smile, please.
Thank you. Very good.
Oh, thank you.
Okay, Spellman, that
wraps it up. Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Now, let's see.
We have a press
conference in an hour,
and then we go...
Did I do all right?
Fine.
Thank you very much.
You got this job because
you're a professional.
You do something I don't
like, and I'll tell you about it.
Now, after the press conference,
we're going to the Veterans' Hospital.
And at 5:00, we
take off for Florida.
Florida?
You're taping a TV
interview on the base there.
But I'm expected.
Donald's waiting for me.
The boyfriend, can't he struggle
along without you for a few hours?
Look, you don't understand. There are
a lot of decisions that have to be made.
It strikes me that you're
being overprotective.
Why don't you let him
make a few on his own?
Look, you don't understand...
Besides, we'll be back
here tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning? I can't
spend the night with you.
Oh, that's a shame.
Oh, well, that's
not what I meant.
That's what you said.
Well, let's get the lead out.
[doorbell buzzes]
Okay.
We're the painters.
Oh, yeah. Well, come on in.
Uh, listen, can you
just sort of work around?
I've got a deadline
to meet, and I seem
to do better here
than at the office.
What line of work you in?
I'm a writer.
A writer!
We get paid in advance?
Yeah.
Oh, it's nothin' personal.
It's just that most
writers are slow pay.
You know what I mean?
Uh, yeah.
You just start
anywhere, and paint fast,
you know what I mean?
Which tone did you decide on?
Tone?
Sahara Dusk or Harvest Haze?
I thought that was decided
between you and Miss Marie.
Me and the lady narrowed
it down from 200 to two.
She said she'd tell us
which one when we got here.
Oh.
Well, she went to
Florida last night.
Florida.
Yeah, but she'll be
back in the morning.
[ring] Oh, excuse me.
Hello? [Ann] Donald?
Oh, Ann, honey, listen,
the painters are here,
and they want to know
whether you decided on
Sahara Dusk or Harvard Haze.
Sahara Dusk or Harvest Haze.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, well, um, I
can't really decide
until I see the two
shades with the draperies.
Are they there yet?
They haven't arrived yet.
Where are you calling from?
Chicago.
Chicago? You said you
were going to Florida.
Well, we did, but we're
coming back a different route.
Listen, Donald...
Don't worry. I'll see
you in a little while.
Bye.
Okay.
She's in Chicago.
Chicago?
They're coming back that way.
From Florida?
Yeah.
[chuckles]
You sure we got paid
in advance? Yeah.
Donald? Donald, I
thought I better call you.
[Donald] Ann, where are you?
Well, I'm in Hudson's Bay.
Honey, the drapes are here.
The painters have to know.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, but, uh...
well, there's a weather front
between here and New York,
so we have to fly in
by way of Greenland.
Greenland?
[Both] Greenland?
Yeah. Okay, honey.
All right. Bye-bye.
Well, look, I'm sorry
to hold you up this way.
At these prices, we
don't mind waitin'.
Would you mind if I asked
you a direct question?
Not if you don't mind
getting a direct answer.
Why did you pick me for Miss
Air Force if you don't like me?
You were right for the job.
Liking you had
nothing to do with it.
Well, it would make
things a bit more pleasant.
You've got Donald.
He likes you so much,
he lets you make all
his decisions for him.
Donald happens to be
a very self-reliant person.
He doesn't need
me nor anybody else
to make up his mind for him.
[Donald on speaker] Ann?
Can you hear me? Ann?
One moment, sir.
AF-4 to J-29.
Do you read me, J-29?
We read you. Go ahead.
[Man] Go ahead.
[Donald] Ann? Can you hear me?
Ann?
Donald? Donald, where are you?
In my apartment. In what
used to be my apartment.
Why? What's the matter?
Honey, I can't make
these decisions,
and they're all after me
for some kind of an answer.
All? Who all?
Painters, carpenters,
drapery hangers,
carpet layers, upholsters.
I'm surrounded.
Harvest Haze or Sahara Dusk?
9-inch shelves or
10-inch shelves?
Silk-line drapes or nylon?
Rubber padding or synthetic?
Recover the chair in
pomegranate or puce?
Donald, it's Harvest Haze.
Use the 10-inch
shelves, silk lining,
rubber padding,
and... pomegranate.
W-W-What size shelves?
She said 10-inch.
Oh, thank you.
And what about the chair?
Pomegranate!
How do you spell that?
[Major James] Pomegranate.
P-O-M-E-G-R-A-N-A-T-E.
Pomegranate.
Thank you.
He's gonna wish she'd made
those shelves at least 12 inches.
[muttering indistinct]
Hi. Hi.
Well, it's amazing.
You've hardly aged at all.
It's only been a couple of days.
Yeah, well, I feel 10 years
older. You're working too hard.
I haven't been
able to work at all.
All I've been doing is
walking and thinking.
Have you been here long?
I've been here all afternoon.
Boy, did I get a lot done.
You're really
gonna be surprised.
Please, no more surprises.
Where are you going? Oh, Donald.
We're taking off for San
Francisco in an hour and a half.
But I just got here.
I know. I'm sorry.
But I'll be finished
in a couple of days.
Bye.
Give my regards to
your Major James.
My Major James?
He doesn't even know I'm alive.
Oh, yeah?
Still giving you the old "not
paying any attention to you,
don't know you're
alive" routine, huh?
I'd love to stand here
and argue with you,
but the Air Force is waiting.
Bye.
I'll be here, and there'll
be a star in the window.
I thought the idea
was for me to recruit
some other woman
to go to the moon.
We need a picture of you
wearing it, so stop complaining.
I'm not complaining. I was
only wondering how long
I had to stay inside
this... [no audio]
Operator? Operator,
I'd like to place
a person-to-person call...
person-to-person call to
San Francisco, California.
Yes. Thank you.
[whirring]
[no audible dialogue]
No, no, it cannot wait.
I have to ask her a very
important question right now.
[whirring] [no audible dialogue]
[Donald on speaker] Ann?
Oh, Donald.
Donald, where are you?
What are you doing?
I'm, uh... lying
in a centrifuge,
and I'm spinning around.
Is he in there with you?
Oh, Donald, don't be ridiculous.
He's outside... watching me.
Sure. Sure.
The old "got you spinning
around in a centrifuge
outside watching you routine."
I'm sorry to interrupt
your fun and games,
but I cannot find my
newspaper clippings.
What? What clippings?
The clippings I've been
saving for years and years,
the ones on which I was
gonna base my article
on the changing
face of Manhattan.
Now, honey, they were in a
box in the bottom desk drawer.
And now they're gone.
Oh, you mean a box of
old pieces of newspaper?
Right. Have you seen them?
Donald, that was not in
the bottom desk drawer.
That was on the floor.
I don't care where they were.
Where are they now?
You did what with them?
"On the present
site of the terminal
stood the architectural dare"...
"Continued page 23."
Page 23.
Page 23.
I don't believe it.
Page 23.
23...
Page 23.
"Milliken Building."
Back of a toilet seat.
Well, here we are.
Thank you so much,
Major, for bringing me home.
My pleasure.
Oh, well, thank you.
I'd like to apologize if I've
seemed too abrupt or impersonal.
Oh, no, you haven't
been too impersonal at all.
Oh, I must have. I know how
I am when I'm under pressure.
Believe me, Major, you have
absolutely nothing to apologize for.
So now that it's over,
I'd like to take this
opportunity to say...
Good-bye and good luck.
Good-bye?
And good luck.
Oh, thank you.
Well, how do you like that?
The old "good-bye
and good luck" routine.
[knocking on door]
Hi. Hi.
Well? How do you like it?
You did a great job,
but I was right, wasn't I?
What, about the Sahara
Dusk and the Harvest Haze?
I mean about Major Brian, he
brought you home personally, correct?
Correct. Uh-huh. He carried
your suitcases upstairs.
You asked him to come in
and offered him a sandwich.
You know, being
polite. Right? Right.
And then va-voom.
Va-voom? Yeah, he
made his move, right?
Right. I knew it. I knew it.
I told you I was a pretty
good judge of human nature.
Well, you can imagine me. I was
never so embarrassed in my whole life.
You should have seen me. First,
he gets me over by my fireplace.
And out of the clear blue he
says, "Just a minute, baby."
And then the next thing I know,
practically like a strangle hold.
And somehow I just
manage to break free,
and I ran over, and I got
the couch between us.
And I said, "Major,"
very indignant-like.
The next thing I know,
he rolls behind me,
and he starts coming
closer and closer to me.
And I was just about to
scream, and then I remembered,
"Oh, my gosh, the neighbors,"
so I ran as fast as I could to
the door. But he was faster.
And he kept coming
closer and closer to me.
Then you can
imagine what he did.
Never touched you, huh?
Never laid a finger on me.
I knew it.
You knew what?
The old "never touched you,
never laid a finger
on you" routine.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services Burbank, CA