That Girl (1966–1971): Season 3, Episode 17 - The Earrings - full transcript
It's Valentine's Day. Among the many gifts that Donald and Ann exchange with each other to mark the day is a pair of diamond earrings that Donald gives Ann. As much as she loves them, Ann believes they are too extravagant a gift and as such she is afraid to wear them. But Donald convinces her to wear them at least on their date tonight, which she does. Although the earrings are insured and can be replaced if lost, Ann, who believes that a replacement pair would not be sentimentally the same since they're not the ones that Donald gave her, ends up being so concerned the entire night about losing them. By the end of their date, a heartbroken Ann has indeed lost one of the earrings. Knowing how Ann feels about a replacement earring, Donald decides to get a replacement anyway, hide it somewhere in her apartment, and when found feign that it must be the one she lost. The problem for Donald is trying to decide the logical place to hide it to mimic Ann's movements that night. While Donald tries to convince Ann to look again in that strategic location, a similar mindset and a telephone call end up complicating matters.
Miss Ann Marie? Yes.
Happy Valentine's Day!
[whispering] Keep
your voice down.
Why? Everybody knows it.
No, it's my
soufflé. I just took it
out of the oven, and I
don't want it to collapse. Oh.
You're gonna have
to sign for the flowers.
[whispering] Oh.
Fine. Thank you.
[whispering] I'm sorry.
I forgot my pencil.
Oh. Well, come on
in. I'll get one for you.
Cold today, huh? Would
you like some hot coffee?
Oh, no, thanks.
Okay. I'll get the pencil.
No, no coffee breaks
on Valentine's Day.
Too busy delivering
everybody's love and kisses
and candy and flowers.
Where do I sign?
Oh. Right here.
[loudly] No, see, it's guilt!
The rest of the year,
the whole world hates...
Shh! Shh!
It's push, shove,
bite, kick, hit.
It's a jungle of humanity.
But today, it's...
"I love you. You love me."
I forgot my book.
Oh, that's... that's okay.
When you find it, feel
free to sign my name.
Now... where's the card?
Oh. Why shouldn't it be the other
way around? What do you mean?
364 days a year... "I love you,
you love me." Then one day, uh,
bite, kick, scratch,
hit. I forgot the card.
Well, at least you
didn't forget the flowers.
What kind are they?
Roses.
Roses?
Oh, I'm allergic to
them! I'll start sneezing!
Get them out of here!
Put them in the refrigerator!
In the refrigerator?
Refrigerator. Yeah. Yeah.
And hurry, hurry!
I'll ruin it if I sneeze!
Close the door gently.
[whispering] Thank you.
You did that beautifully.
Any time. Thank you.
[whispering] Good-bye. Bye.
[sighs] Some poor guy
blew 20 bucks on that girl.
♪♪ [theme]
♪♪ [ends]
"Please do not
knock, buzz, or yell."
[whistles]
[whistling]
[whispering] Come in.
[whispering] Thank you.
Shh.
Won't you take off those shoes?
Just a minute. I paid
32.50 for those shoes.
Oh, they're beautiful. But
couldn't you please take them off?
Why? And why are we whispering?
Because I could not
stand another collapse.
You've been collapsing?
No, no. It's my soufflés.
I've been practicing all
day so I could surprise you
with a really chic hors
d'oeuvre on Valentine's Day.
And then outside,
a bus backfired,
and the first one
went... [raspberry]
And then... then I sneezed,
and the next one
went... [vocalizes]
And this one I am not
taking any chances with.
Well, just a minute. What
about the champagne?
Can't you stifle the cork?
Why don't I go home and
open it and then come back?
What time is it?
8:17.
Oh, no. It's ready
now. Now or never.
[soft pop]
What do you think of that?
Honey, a thing of beauty.
[both chuckle]
[glasses clink] [hissing]
Is not a joy forever.
All right, honey. All right.
Now, don't get upset.
It's the thought that counts.
As long as we're
going out for dinner,
we'll go out for
hors d'oeuvres, too.
But I wanted you
to have soufflé.
But it's dead. I'll
whip up another one.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
We're going out.
I'm taking my valentine
out on Valentine's Day.
Okay.
By the way, didn't
you get my flowers?
Oh, yes, Donald. Thank
you. They're beautiful.
Where are they?
They're in the refrigerator.
Why? So they won't
wilt and I won't sneeze.
Anyway, that's
only half the surprise
I had for you for
Valentine's Day.
I hope you like it.
Of course I'll like it.
Be my valentine.
Thank you, honey.
It's really not much. It's
more of a thought than a gift.
It's a great thought,
and it'll be a great gift.
[chuckles] I really
hope you like it.
Oh, honey, what
a great tie clip!
Really? Do you really like it?
I love it!
I'll put it in the
refrigerator with the roses.
Thank you, darlin'.
By the way...
the flowers were only
half a surprise also.
Oh, Donald.
Thank you, Donald.
I hope you didn't
do anything crazy.
No.
I hope it didn't
cost a lot of money.
A few dollars.
I'd be mad if it did.
I'd love it, but I'd be mad.
Oh, Donald!
Just like the ones
we saw in Tiffany's.
Those are the ones
we saw in Tiffany's.
You're kidding. [gasps]
Real diamonds!
Oh, Donald. Oh!
Oh, they're gorgeous!
Do you like 'em?
Oh, I love them.
You said they only
cost a few dollars.
Every month for 90 years.
No, sir. No. No, no, no, no.
No, no, I'm not allowing you
to spend that much money.
Honey, I bought these for the
pleasure of giving them to you.
Oh, but, Donald... No "buts."
Now, go get your things.
Okay.
Okay, I'm ready.
Where are we gonna go?
First stop, the Roof
Garden. And then...
Wait a minute. Where
are they? What?
The earrings. Oh, Donald,
don't worry about them.
I hid them in a very safe
place. What do you mean?
When you have something
that beautiful and that valuable,
you put them where
you won't lose them.
But, honey, what's
the point of having them
if you're not gonna wear them?
Oh, Donald. Just
knowing I have them.
But I'd like to see them.
Well, they're in the third
drawer under my socks.
Honey, this is ridiculous.
Even if you lose
them, they're insured.
The insurance company
would replace them.
That wouldn't be the same.
Those are the ones you gave me.
They have a special meaning.
So? So...
the replacement would be from
an insurance man I hardly know.
Ann, If you never wear them
again, wear them tonight.
But, Donald... No, I'm
putting my foot down.
You go out with me tonight,
you do not go out bare-earred.
Bare-earred?
All right, Donald.
But if anything happens
to those earrings,
I'll never forgive you
for making me wear
such a fabulous
and expensive gift.
Honey, that's why
I gave them to you.
Well, then I'll never
forgive you for giving me
such a fabulous
and expensive gift.
♪♪ [soft jazz]
[crowd chattering]
How was it?
It was delicious.
Honey? Honey,
will you please leave
your ears alone?
Well, you watch them.
Are they still there? Yes.
Are you sure?
When you chew, your ears move.
I can see them sparkle.
Thank you.
[speaking French]
Magnifique.
A-ha.
Thank you.
Fine, fine. It's good.
Very good. [Waiter]
Très bien, monsieur.
Madame? Yes, please.
Thank you. Thank you.
To my valentine. And to mine.
♪♪ [rock drums]
♪♪ [rock]
Ann!
Come on, honey. Let's dance.
Oh, Donald, I don't
think it's a good idea.
Honey, will you relax? You
look like you got a whiplash.
This is not
tension. It's dignity.
I can see them. I can see them.
Are you still angry with
me? I was never angry.
Annoyed? No.
Miffed? You were
at least miffed.
Okay. Maybe.
But you know how
long a miff lasts with me.
I know.
Thank you for my
beautiful gift, Donald.
Well, there's plenty more
where that came from, baby.
What's the matter?
Honey... Oh, no.
They're gone. They
are not gone. It is gone.
Don't move.
Donald, just lean
slowly away from me,
and let's see if it
falls to the floor.
Nothin'. I knew it!
I knew it! Oh, Donald!
Okay, honey. Oh.
Let's see. Maybe...
Maybe it fell off when
we were first coming in.
All right. Now, honey, look.
Please don't go to pieces.
Sure, that's easy
for you to say.
You never had
earrings this good.
I told you they're insured.
They can be replaced.
I don't want them replaced. I
want the ones you gave me.
Ann, an earring is an earring.
That is a very
childish attitude.
I wonder if it got
stuck in my dress.
When you started to kiss
me, maybe it just fell down.
Let's see, you always...
You always take your hand
and put it around
me like... like this.
No, I don't. I put my
hands down here.
You do not. Honey, look, I
didn't start kissing yesterday.
I know how I make my move.
What kind of a
thing is that to say?
I was just trying to...
Honey, anyway, it's
not stuck to your dress.
Now you're miffed.
No, no, I'm not.
I'm angry. Oh, Donald.
Not at you. At
your ridiculous luck.
Look, I'll call the restaurant.
They may have found it already.
Are you gonna
kiss me good night?
Well, I considered it.
And?
I've decided on it.
What's the matter?
Now I forgot my move.
Well...
why don't you see
what you can make up
on the spur of the moment.
Look, will you
check lost and found
and call me back at
the number I gave you?
Thank you. Thanks very much.
When you get a
chance, read this article
and get back to me, huh? Yeah.
That covers all the
bases. I can't think
of anywhere else
she might have lost it.
Lost what? Her diamond earring.
Who? Ann.
Ann?
Where did Ann get
a diamond earring?
I gave it to her for
Valentine's Day.
One for each ear.
You gave Ann diamonds?
Real diamonds?
Expensive ones.
You know what I gave
Ruth for Valentine's Day?
Peanut brittle.
If she likes it fine.
She's not gonna like it
after Ann tells her
about your diamonds.
Thank you. Thank you
very much for making my...
What's left of my
marriage miserable.
What are you talking about?
Don, diamonds are
something you build up to
over a period of years.
You start with costume jewelry.
Hmm? You wanna
splurge, be a big shot,
you go to gold-filled.
When you're engaged,
you go to all gold.
Even when you first get married,
you don't give diamond
diamonds, just chips.
Years of chips.
It's an unwritten
law with husbands.
But I'm not a husband.
Exactly. So what's
Ruth gonna think?
"Ann's not married,
she gets diamonds.
"I give Jerry the
best years of my life,
I get glazed nuts."
[phone rings]
Don Hollinger speaking.
Oh.
Well, look, if any
of your drivers
should turn it in, will
you please let me know?
Yeah, well, thank... thank you.
Thank you very
much for checking.
Yeah. Bye.
Looks like a hopeless case.
Insured? Yeah.
Well, get her another earring.
She doesn't want another
one. She wants that one.
The original has
sentimental meaning for her.
I can't give her another one...
unless I just gave
her another one.
You're rambling.
Okay, if I get Ann
another earring
and plant it in her apartment
where she can find it,
she'll think it's the original.
Don, you wouldn't
be going through
all this aggravation and expense
if you'd just used your
head in the first place.
What do you mean?
She wouldn't care
if she lost an earring
made out of peanut brittle.
Shut the door.
Now...
she'd probably go
across over the room...
and she turned out the lamp.
Then she went into the bedroom.
Okay. Now... Let's see, now.
Oh, yeah. She was very upset.
So what she probably did is...
Is she probably...
She threw herself on
the bed and she cried.
[sobbing]
She wouldn't do that.
But what she did was...
she probably took
the other earring off
and put it away.
All right. Okay. Now...
Now she'd get ready for bed.
Yeah. So...
Ready for bed... I guess, first,
she'd take off the hose.
No, she'd take off the shoes.
Then the hose.
All right.
Now she'd take off her dress.
No.
Take off the dress. Right.
Now... now she
would take the dress...
and she'd throw it there.
Right.
So, now, if the earring
was stuck to the dress...
it would probably fall...
somewhere in here.
[screams]
Oh, Donald.
For goodness sakes, you
scared the life out of me.
Honey, I'm sorry.
I... I'm sorry.
I... Well, I was passing
by, and I dropped in.
I thought I might cheer
you up about the earring.
Oh, please. Don't cheer
me up, or I'll start crying.
You know, honey, I'll bet
anything it's gonna show up
probably right here
in the apartment.
I'll bet it was
stuck to your dress.
Oh, Donald, I covered
every inch of this place.
And all I could come
up with was 14 cents
and a year's supply
of bobby pins.
Well, honey, look again.
What have you got to lose?
Now, when I left last night,
you closed the door.
And then you crossed over here,
and you turned out the lamp.
And then you went
into the bedroom, right?
Wrong.
Then I went into the
kitchen to get something
for a splitting headache.
Yeah, well... well, after you
got somethin' for your headache,
then, at some point, you
went into the bedroom. Right?
Yeah, well, eventually.
Okay, so you got
into the bedroom,
and you got ready for bed,
and, first, you
took off your dress.
No, first, I took off my shoes.
Oh, yeah. Right.
Right. Yeah, I forgot.
Now what?
[chuckles] Well, you
took off your dress.
Well, no, no. Then I looked
around for my slippers.
I don't like to walk
around in my stockings
because stockings snag
and they're very expensive.
Well, when did you
take off your dress?
Well, probably before
I got into the shower.
Yep, but now we're
making some progress.
So then you took off your dress,
and you tossed
it over that stool.
Donald, I don't throw my
clothes around like that.
I didn't say you threw
your clothes around.
All I meant was you... Well,
you were probably upset,
the mood that you were in.
No matter what mood I'm in,
I always very carefully
pick up my clothes
and put them in my closet.
That's my natural habitat.
Habit. Habitat
is where you live.
So, where I hang my
clothes is where I live.
[door buzzer]
How about some coffee
and a few kind words?
The few kind words are for me.
I could stand some
kind words, too.
I've got a cracked
tooth. You have?
Mmhh. How terrible!
It sure is. What happened
to you? You lost your job?
Oh, worse. I lost one of
my beautiful new earrings.
What earrings? Hi.
Oh, hi, Don. What earrings?
Listen, honey, I gotta
get back to the office.
Give another look.
I've got a strange hunch
you're gonna find that
earring. What earring?
I'll see you later.
Oh, bye, Donald.
I asked a question.
I'll insist on an answer.
What earrings?
The beautiful new
diamond earrings
that Donald gave me
for Valentine's Day.
Diamonds?
Real ones?
Like with... carats
and pear-shape?
That kind.
Do you know what I
got for Valentine's Day?
Peanut brittle.
That's how I cracked my tooth.
Oh, Ruthie.
Good old Diamond Jim Bauman
thought he was
getting off cheap.
Little does he know he's gonna
have to buy me a solid-gold crown.
Well, at least you
can't lose a gold crown.
But what can you do about a
hopelessly lost diamond earring?
Especially one of a
pair that Donald spent
way too much on
in the first place.
How much is too much?
Oh, Ruthie, I'm not gonna
say how much a present cost.
We're friends who
exchange intimate information.
That's true.
My peanut brittle cost 3.98.
Well... for what
the earrings cost,
you could buy 40
pounds of peanut brittle
and still have enough to afford
to crack a couple of other teeth.
That's what I call a gift!
So if you don't want Don
to spend any more money,
buy another earring yourself.
I can't! I already
made such a big fuss
about that I didn't want
to replace the earring,
that I had to have the original.
Oh, I know what I could do.
I could buy another one and
then hide it in the apartment
and say I found it here.
Sure! That's a good idea!
Oh, I can't. I can't
even afford it.
Yeah. That's life.
Hey, wait a minute.
I can so afford it.
How?
I'll take the money
for the earring
out of the money I've
been saving for my taxes.
Do you think you should?
Oh, sure. I'd much
rather go through life
disappointing the
government than Donald.
Hi. I got your message.
What happened?
Well, I think I got over my
ear problem, doctor.
You found it!
See? What did I tell you?
Oh, I'm sorry I made
such a big thing out of it.
I always get so emotional.
And you're so calm
and so wonderful.
And you were so sure it
would show up in the end.
Well...
And I looked again,
just like you said.
And you'll never
guess where I found it.
I couldn't guess
in a hundred years.
Right there under
that chair, How about...
That chair? Yeah.
Well, that's impossible!
Huh?
Uh... well, I... I mean...
I mean...[laughs]
I... I mean, what
a place. A chair.
Yeah. Isn't that great?
Well, I'm sorry we don't
have any champagne,
but how 'bout some
coffee to celebrate?
Yeah, great. Good idea.
Uh, I'll... I'll just, uh,
I'll put my coat in the bedroom.
[telephone rings]
Donald, would you
answer the phone, please?
[ring]
I got it, honey. [ring]
[ring]
Uh, Ann Marie's residence.
Who?
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
Really?
[stammers] Well, yeah.
Well, I'll... I'll...
I'm sure she'll appreciate that.
Thanks for calling.
Yes. Thank you.
Oh, who was that?
Uh, that was the maitre
d' from the restaurant
we went to last night.
He found your earring.
Oh, great!
Oh.
[quietly] Oh.
You bought that other earring
you're wearing, didn't you?
Me?
You, Ann Marie, girl sneak.
You're miffed at me again.
I think it's the most
considerate thing I ever heard of.
Great minds...
with... but a single thought.
[laughs] You're kidding.
You didn't.
I did.
Oh, Donald.
I'm very touched.
And you know
something? To show you
how mature I've become,
in spite of my insecurities,
I'm gonna wear these earrings
and not give it
a single thought.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
Now I think we should
celebrate all over again.
I'm ready to buy you
a very cheap lunch.
Oh, okay. In that case,
I'll just take these off.
Well, wait a minute.
You just said...
Well, Donald, I don't mind
going to a cheap restaurant,
but I don't want anybody to
think that these are rhinestones.
[knock at door]
Voilà. One lost earring.
Ah, the poor thing. Bring it in.
They found it near
the bandstand.
Oh, thank you,
Donald. Oh, I've decided
that we ought to return
these and get our money back.
I just don't feel right
about having two pair.
Why not?
Well... it's probably something
only a woman would understand,
but having one pair
of diamond earrings
is... is something so special
that it entitles you
to show off a little.
But two pair is like
having a collection.
And bragging about a collection
is in the worst possible taste.
You're right. It's something
only a woman can understand.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
Happy Valentine's Day!
[whispering] Keep
your voice down.
Why? Everybody knows it.
No, it's my
soufflé. I just took it
out of the oven, and I
don't want it to collapse. Oh.
You're gonna have
to sign for the flowers.
[whispering] Oh.
Fine. Thank you.
[whispering] I'm sorry.
I forgot my pencil.
Oh. Well, come on
in. I'll get one for you.
Cold today, huh? Would
you like some hot coffee?
Oh, no, thanks.
Okay. I'll get the pencil.
No, no coffee breaks
on Valentine's Day.
Too busy delivering
everybody's love and kisses
and candy and flowers.
Where do I sign?
Oh. Right here.
[loudly] No, see, it's guilt!
The rest of the year,
the whole world hates...
Shh! Shh!
It's push, shove,
bite, kick, hit.
It's a jungle of humanity.
But today, it's...
"I love you. You love me."
I forgot my book.
Oh, that's... that's okay.
When you find it, feel
free to sign my name.
Now... where's the card?
Oh. Why shouldn't it be the other
way around? What do you mean?
364 days a year... "I love you,
you love me." Then one day, uh,
bite, kick, scratch,
hit. I forgot the card.
Well, at least you
didn't forget the flowers.
What kind are they?
Roses.
Roses?
Oh, I'm allergic to
them! I'll start sneezing!
Get them out of here!
Put them in the refrigerator!
In the refrigerator?
Refrigerator. Yeah. Yeah.
And hurry, hurry!
I'll ruin it if I sneeze!
Close the door gently.
[whispering] Thank you.
You did that beautifully.
Any time. Thank you.
[whispering] Good-bye. Bye.
[sighs] Some poor guy
blew 20 bucks on that girl.
♪♪ [theme]
♪♪ [ends]
"Please do not
knock, buzz, or yell."
[whistles]
[whistling]
[whispering] Come in.
[whispering] Thank you.
Shh.
Won't you take off those shoes?
Just a minute. I paid
32.50 for those shoes.
Oh, they're beautiful. But
couldn't you please take them off?
Why? And why are we whispering?
Because I could not
stand another collapse.
You've been collapsing?
No, no. It's my soufflés.
I've been practicing all
day so I could surprise you
with a really chic hors
d'oeuvre on Valentine's Day.
And then outside,
a bus backfired,
and the first one
went... [raspberry]
And then... then I sneezed,
and the next one
went... [vocalizes]
And this one I am not
taking any chances with.
Well, just a minute. What
about the champagne?
Can't you stifle the cork?
Why don't I go home and
open it and then come back?
What time is it?
8:17.
Oh, no. It's ready
now. Now or never.
[soft pop]
What do you think of that?
Honey, a thing of beauty.
[both chuckle]
[glasses clink] [hissing]
Is not a joy forever.
All right, honey. All right.
Now, don't get upset.
It's the thought that counts.
As long as we're
going out for dinner,
we'll go out for
hors d'oeuvres, too.
But I wanted you
to have soufflé.
But it's dead. I'll
whip up another one.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
We're going out.
I'm taking my valentine
out on Valentine's Day.
Okay.
By the way, didn't
you get my flowers?
Oh, yes, Donald. Thank
you. They're beautiful.
Where are they?
They're in the refrigerator.
Why? So they won't
wilt and I won't sneeze.
Anyway, that's
only half the surprise
I had for you for
Valentine's Day.
I hope you like it.
Of course I'll like it.
Be my valentine.
Thank you, honey.
It's really not much. It's
more of a thought than a gift.
It's a great thought,
and it'll be a great gift.
[chuckles] I really
hope you like it.
Oh, honey, what
a great tie clip!
Really? Do you really like it?
I love it!
I'll put it in the
refrigerator with the roses.
Thank you, darlin'.
By the way...
the flowers were only
half a surprise also.
Oh, Donald.
Thank you, Donald.
I hope you didn't
do anything crazy.
No.
I hope it didn't
cost a lot of money.
A few dollars.
I'd be mad if it did.
I'd love it, but I'd be mad.
Oh, Donald!
Just like the ones
we saw in Tiffany's.
Those are the ones
we saw in Tiffany's.
You're kidding. [gasps]
Real diamonds!
Oh, Donald. Oh!
Oh, they're gorgeous!
Do you like 'em?
Oh, I love them.
You said they only
cost a few dollars.
Every month for 90 years.
No, sir. No. No, no, no, no.
No, no, I'm not allowing you
to spend that much money.
Honey, I bought these for the
pleasure of giving them to you.
Oh, but, Donald... No "buts."
Now, go get your things.
Okay.
Okay, I'm ready.
Where are we gonna go?
First stop, the Roof
Garden. And then...
Wait a minute. Where
are they? What?
The earrings. Oh, Donald,
don't worry about them.
I hid them in a very safe
place. What do you mean?
When you have something
that beautiful and that valuable,
you put them where
you won't lose them.
But, honey, what's
the point of having them
if you're not gonna wear them?
Oh, Donald. Just
knowing I have them.
But I'd like to see them.
Well, they're in the third
drawer under my socks.
Honey, this is ridiculous.
Even if you lose
them, they're insured.
The insurance company
would replace them.
That wouldn't be the same.
Those are the ones you gave me.
They have a special meaning.
So? So...
the replacement would be from
an insurance man I hardly know.
Ann, If you never wear them
again, wear them tonight.
But, Donald... No, I'm
putting my foot down.
You go out with me tonight,
you do not go out bare-earred.
Bare-earred?
All right, Donald.
But if anything happens
to those earrings,
I'll never forgive you
for making me wear
such a fabulous
and expensive gift.
Honey, that's why
I gave them to you.
Well, then I'll never
forgive you for giving me
such a fabulous
and expensive gift.
♪♪ [soft jazz]
[crowd chattering]
How was it?
It was delicious.
Honey? Honey,
will you please leave
your ears alone?
Well, you watch them.
Are they still there? Yes.
Are you sure?
When you chew, your ears move.
I can see them sparkle.
Thank you.
[speaking French]
Magnifique.
A-ha.
Thank you.
Fine, fine. It's good.
Very good. [Waiter]
Très bien, monsieur.
Madame? Yes, please.
Thank you. Thank you.
To my valentine. And to mine.
♪♪ [rock drums]
♪♪ [rock]
Ann!
Come on, honey. Let's dance.
Oh, Donald, I don't
think it's a good idea.
Honey, will you relax? You
look like you got a whiplash.
This is not
tension. It's dignity.
I can see them. I can see them.
Are you still angry with
me? I was never angry.
Annoyed? No.
Miffed? You were
at least miffed.
Okay. Maybe.
But you know how
long a miff lasts with me.
I know.
Thank you for my
beautiful gift, Donald.
Well, there's plenty more
where that came from, baby.
What's the matter?
Honey... Oh, no.
They're gone. They
are not gone. It is gone.
Don't move.
Donald, just lean
slowly away from me,
and let's see if it
falls to the floor.
Nothin'. I knew it!
I knew it! Oh, Donald!
Okay, honey. Oh.
Let's see. Maybe...
Maybe it fell off when
we were first coming in.
All right. Now, honey, look.
Please don't go to pieces.
Sure, that's easy
for you to say.
You never had
earrings this good.
I told you they're insured.
They can be replaced.
I don't want them replaced. I
want the ones you gave me.
Ann, an earring is an earring.
That is a very
childish attitude.
I wonder if it got
stuck in my dress.
When you started to kiss
me, maybe it just fell down.
Let's see, you always...
You always take your hand
and put it around
me like... like this.
No, I don't. I put my
hands down here.
You do not. Honey, look, I
didn't start kissing yesterday.
I know how I make my move.
What kind of a
thing is that to say?
I was just trying to...
Honey, anyway, it's
not stuck to your dress.
Now you're miffed.
No, no, I'm not.
I'm angry. Oh, Donald.
Not at you. At
your ridiculous luck.
Look, I'll call the restaurant.
They may have found it already.
Are you gonna
kiss me good night?
Well, I considered it.
And?
I've decided on it.
What's the matter?
Now I forgot my move.
Well...
why don't you see
what you can make up
on the spur of the moment.
Look, will you
check lost and found
and call me back at
the number I gave you?
Thank you. Thanks very much.
When you get a
chance, read this article
and get back to me, huh? Yeah.
That covers all the
bases. I can't think
of anywhere else
she might have lost it.
Lost what? Her diamond earring.
Who? Ann.
Ann?
Where did Ann get
a diamond earring?
I gave it to her for
Valentine's Day.
One for each ear.
You gave Ann diamonds?
Real diamonds?
Expensive ones.
You know what I gave
Ruth for Valentine's Day?
Peanut brittle.
If she likes it fine.
She's not gonna like it
after Ann tells her
about your diamonds.
Thank you. Thank you
very much for making my...
What's left of my
marriage miserable.
What are you talking about?
Don, diamonds are
something you build up to
over a period of years.
You start with costume jewelry.
Hmm? You wanna
splurge, be a big shot,
you go to gold-filled.
When you're engaged,
you go to all gold.
Even when you first get married,
you don't give diamond
diamonds, just chips.
Years of chips.
It's an unwritten
law with husbands.
But I'm not a husband.
Exactly. So what's
Ruth gonna think?
"Ann's not married,
she gets diamonds.
"I give Jerry the
best years of my life,
I get glazed nuts."
[phone rings]
Don Hollinger speaking.
Oh.
Well, look, if any
of your drivers
should turn it in, will
you please let me know?
Yeah, well, thank... thank you.
Thank you very
much for checking.
Yeah. Bye.
Looks like a hopeless case.
Insured? Yeah.
Well, get her another earring.
She doesn't want another
one. She wants that one.
The original has
sentimental meaning for her.
I can't give her another one...
unless I just gave
her another one.
You're rambling.
Okay, if I get Ann
another earring
and plant it in her apartment
where she can find it,
she'll think it's the original.
Don, you wouldn't
be going through
all this aggravation and expense
if you'd just used your
head in the first place.
What do you mean?
She wouldn't care
if she lost an earring
made out of peanut brittle.
Shut the door.
Now...
she'd probably go
across over the room...
and she turned out the lamp.
Then she went into the bedroom.
Okay. Now... Let's see, now.
Oh, yeah. She was very upset.
So what she probably did is...
Is she probably...
She threw herself on
the bed and she cried.
[sobbing]
She wouldn't do that.
But what she did was...
she probably took
the other earring off
and put it away.
All right. Okay. Now...
Now she'd get ready for bed.
Yeah. So...
Ready for bed... I guess, first,
she'd take off the hose.
No, she'd take off the shoes.
Then the hose.
All right.
Now she'd take off her dress.
No.
Take off the dress. Right.
Now... now she
would take the dress...
and she'd throw it there.
Right.
So, now, if the earring
was stuck to the dress...
it would probably fall...
somewhere in here.
[screams]
Oh, Donald.
For goodness sakes, you
scared the life out of me.
Honey, I'm sorry.
I... I'm sorry.
I... Well, I was passing
by, and I dropped in.
I thought I might cheer
you up about the earring.
Oh, please. Don't cheer
me up, or I'll start crying.
You know, honey, I'll bet
anything it's gonna show up
probably right here
in the apartment.
I'll bet it was
stuck to your dress.
Oh, Donald, I covered
every inch of this place.
And all I could come
up with was 14 cents
and a year's supply
of bobby pins.
Well, honey, look again.
What have you got to lose?
Now, when I left last night,
you closed the door.
And then you crossed over here,
and you turned out the lamp.
And then you went
into the bedroom, right?
Wrong.
Then I went into the
kitchen to get something
for a splitting headache.
Yeah, well... well, after you
got somethin' for your headache,
then, at some point, you
went into the bedroom. Right?
Yeah, well, eventually.
Okay, so you got
into the bedroom,
and you got ready for bed,
and, first, you
took off your dress.
No, first, I took off my shoes.
Oh, yeah. Right.
Right. Yeah, I forgot.
Now what?
[chuckles] Well, you
took off your dress.
Well, no, no. Then I looked
around for my slippers.
I don't like to walk
around in my stockings
because stockings snag
and they're very expensive.
Well, when did you
take off your dress?
Well, probably before
I got into the shower.
Yep, but now we're
making some progress.
So then you took off your dress,
and you tossed
it over that stool.
Donald, I don't throw my
clothes around like that.
I didn't say you threw
your clothes around.
All I meant was you... Well,
you were probably upset,
the mood that you were in.
No matter what mood I'm in,
I always very carefully
pick up my clothes
and put them in my closet.
That's my natural habitat.
Habit. Habitat
is where you live.
So, where I hang my
clothes is where I live.
[door buzzer]
How about some coffee
and a few kind words?
The few kind words are for me.
I could stand some
kind words, too.
I've got a cracked
tooth. You have?
Mmhh. How terrible!
It sure is. What happened
to you? You lost your job?
Oh, worse. I lost one of
my beautiful new earrings.
What earrings? Hi.
Oh, hi, Don. What earrings?
Listen, honey, I gotta
get back to the office.
Give another look.
I've got a strange hunch
you're gonna find that
earring. What earring?
I'll see you later.
Oh, bye, Donald.
I asked a question.
I'll insist on an answer.
What earrings?
The beautiful new
diamond earrings
that Donald gave me
for Valentine's Day.
Diamonds?
Real ones?
Like with... carats
and pear-shape?
That kind.
Do you know what I
got for Valentine's Day?
Peanut brittle.
That's how I cracked my tooth.
Oh, Ruthie.
Good old Diamond Jim Bauman
thought he was
getting off cheap.
Little does he know he's gonna
have to buy me a solid-gold crown.
Well, at least you
can't lose a gold crown.
But what can you do about a
hopelessly lost diamond earring?
Especially one of a
pair that Donald spent
way too much on
in the first place.
How much is too much?
Oh, Ruthie, I'm not gonna
say how much a present cost.
We're friends who
exchange intimate information.
That's true.
My peanut brittle cost 3.98.
Well... for what
the earrings cost,
you could buy 40
pounds of peanut brittle
and still have enough to afford
to crack a couple of other teeth.
That's what I call a gift!
So if you don't want Don
to spend any more money,
buy another earring yourself.
I can't! I already
made such a big fuss
about that I didn't want
to replace the earring,
that I had to have the original.
Oh, I know what I could do.
I could buy another one and
then hide it in the apartment
and say I found it here.
Sure! That's a good idea!
Oh, I can't. I can't
even afford it.
Yeah. That's life.
Hey, wait a minute.
I can so afford it.
How?
I'll take the money
for the earring
out of the money I've
been saving for my taxes.
Do you think you should?
Oh, sure. I'd much
rather go through life
disappointing the
government than Donald.
Hi. I got your message.
What happened?
Well, I think I got over my
ear problem, doctor.
You found it!
See? What did I tell you?
Oh, I'm sorry I made
such a big thing out of it.
I always get so emotional.
And you're so calm
and so wonderful.
And you were so sure it
would show up in the end.
Well...
And I looked again,
just like you said.
And you'll never
guess where I found it.
I couldn't guess
in a hundred years.
Right there under
that chair, How about...
That chair? Yeah.
Well, that's impossible!
Huh?
Uh... well, I... I mean...
I mean...[laughs]
I... I mean, what
a place. A chair.
Yeah. Isn't that great?
Well, I'm sorry we don't
have any champagne,
but how 'bout some
coffee to celebrate?
Yeah, great. Good idea.
Uh, I'll... I'll just, uh,
I'll put my coat in the bedroom.
[telephone rings]
Donald, would you
answer the phone, please?
[ring]
I got it, honey. [ring]
[ring]
Uh, Ann Marie's residence.
Who?
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
Really?
[stammers] Well, yeah.
Well, I'll... I'll...
I'm sure she'll appreciate that.
Thanks for calling.
Yes. Thank you.
Oh, who was that?
Uh, that was the maitre
d' from the restaurant
we went to last night.
He found your earring.
Oh, great!
Oh.
[quietly] Oh.
You bought that other earring
you're wearing, didn't you?
Me?
You, Ann Marie, girl sneak.
You're miffed at me again.
I think it's the most
considerate thing I ever heard of.
Great minds...
with... but a single thought.
[laughs] You're kidding.
You didn't.
I did.
Oh, Donald.
I'm very touched.
And you know
something? To show you
how mature I've become,
in spite of my insecurities,
I'm gonna wear these earrings
and not give it
a single thought.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
Now I think we should
celebrate all over again.
I'm ready to buy you
a very cheap lunch.
Oh, okay. In that case,
I'll just take these off.
Well, wait a minute.
You just said...
Well, Donald, I don't mind
going to a cheap restaurant,
but I don't want anybody to
think that these are rhinestones.
[knock at door]
Voilà. One lost earring.
Ah, the poor thing. Bring it in.
They found it near
the bandstand.
Oh, thank you,
Donald. Oh, I've decided
that we ought to return
these and get our money back.
I just don't feel right
about having two pair.
Why not?
Well... it's probably something
only a woman would understand,
but having one pair
of diamond earrings
is... is something so special
that it entitles you
to show off a little.
But two pair is like
having a collection.
And bragging about a collection
is in the worst possible taste.
You're right. It's something
only a woman can understand.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA