That Girl (1966–1971): Season 2, Episode 27 - Just Spell the Name Right - full transcript

Hello, this is 207,
alias Ann Marie.

Are there any messages for me?

Eddy Edwards?

I don't know an Eddy Edwards.

Oh. Well, what's his number?

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Excuse me, lady.

Eddy Edwards Enterprises.
Public Relations and Publicity.

Mr. Edwards speaking.

Oh, hello, Mr. Edwards.
My name is Ann Marie.



I got a message to call you.

Oh, well, hello, Miss Marie.

How are you?

No, no. You don't know me.

But I've been such
a big fan of yours

that I feel like
we're old friends.

I've admired many of your

wonderful performances
on television.

Which performances did you see?

Well, offhand, I can't say

because they're too
numerous to mention.

But I made a mental
note of your name

as someone that my organization
would like to represent.

I finally got up the
courage to call you.



Well, what would your
organization like to represent me for?

Publicity.

I believe that with
the proper handling,

you could become one of the
important actresses of our industry.

Oh, Mr. Edwards,
I'm very flattered,

but I don't really think
at this stage of my career

I can afford a publicity agent.

Miss Marie, don't reject
me until you've heard me out.

When might we get together
to discuss it in person?

Oh, well, I guess
I could come up

to your office tomorrow morning.

Office? No, no, not my office.

It's too hectic.

Like meeting in a phone booth.

Would you excuse me?

My other phone is ringing.

One minute, lady!
One minute! Please!

Uh, Miss Marie, why couldn't

I come up to your
apartment this afternoon?

Oh, this afternoon?

Oh, well, uh, sure, why not?

Yeah. Excuse me one minute.

Lady, I'm trying
to make a living!

Hello?

Now, I realize that the funds of
struggling young actresses are limited,

so, as a gesture of good faith,

I will take you
on as a client for,

say, $300 a month.

$300 a month?

You have a point
there. How about 175?

Oh, Mr. Edwards, I'm very sorry,

but I'm sure a good publicity
agent is worth every cent...

Oh, hold it.

Let me show you
the power of faith.

How's $100 even with
a 6-month firm contract?

It's very tempting...

With an introductory trial
period of one week for $10.

For $10?

Is that incredible?

Well, what do you say?

I say... it's a deal.

And I'm thrilled.

And I look forward to a
long and happy association.

So do I.

Well, what do we do first?

First we pay the $10.

Sure.

Would you mind
taking it in change?

From you, dear lady,
I'll take it in bottle caps.

Well, what's next?

Next? Next we get ready
to see our name in print.

And... Then...

Oh, go ahead. I can hear you.

Then we get ready to see
your picture on magazine covers.

After that, you get
ready to be famous,

to hear every other
young actress say,

"I wish I was as rich
and famous as that girl."

♪♪

Well! Aah!

Pardon me, but I didn't
quite hear what you said.

I said, "Aah!"

Mr. Newman, how many
times have I told you

to please ring the doorbell?

Sorry. When my mind
remembers, my fingers forgets.

And vice versa.

That's a very poor excuse.

But I'll accept it.
Here's your cleaning.

Now that your famous
in the newspapers,

I'll give them top
priority attention.

Thank you.

What do you mean,
famous in the newspaper?

Well, haven't you read
this afternoon's newspaper?

The Harry Knickerbocker's
Broadway Hullabaloo?

Broadway Hullabaloo?

"Truman Capote's done it again."

Not there. There.

"Actor Buddy Hobart
being sued for divorce."

Keep reading.

"Buddy's wife of 17 years
has named as correspondent

glamorous young
actress Ann Marie."

If that ain't famous,
I don't know famous.

Mr. Newman, is the
definition of "correspondent"

what I think it is?

And it has nothing to
do with writing letters.

It has to do with a married man

who, with a woman
other than his wife,

or with a married woman

with a man other
than her husband,

or, in this case,

it has to do with Buddy Hobart

having something to
do with me, which is a lie!

A lie? In Broadway Hullabaloo?

I only met Buddy
Hobart once in my life.

I played his secretary
on a soap opera,

and our relationship
was strictly professional.

Then why did his
wife tell Harry...

I have no idea!

Eddy.

Well, did you read it?

Yes, I did.

And Mr. Edwards, Mr. Newman.

Mr. Newman is my cleaner
and close personal friend.

Before we go any further,

would you please tell him

that there's not a shred
of truth to that item?

Yeah, all right.

Mr. Newman, there's not
a shred of truth to that item.

I see. Thank you.
And nice to meet you.

What can you have faith in

when you can't even believe
in Broadway Hullabaloo?

Eddy, how did that get in there?

How? What do you
mean, how? I planted it.

But why?

To bring you to the attention
of the American public.

I totally disapprove!

On what basis?

On the basis that it's
offensive and insulting

and detrimental to my character.

Intangibles.

Sweetie, there's one
thing you gotta learn

about the publicity game.

All that matters is that
they spell your name right.

Then why did you
pick Buddy Hobart?

He's my client.
He needs publicity.

He also needs a divorce.

I refuse to be used.

Sweetie, will you trust me?

This story'll do
wonders for you.

Are you sure?

Am I sure it'll
help your career?

No. Are you sure you
know what I'm trying to be?

Donald, you're early.

It isn't Donald, it's
Daddy, and I'm not early.

I'm apparently much,
much, too, too late.

I don't follow you.

Where have your
mother and I failed you?

Oh, Daddy, you haven't
failed me anywhere.

Good. Now that that's settled,

are you playing hanky
panky with Buddy Hobart

or are you not?

I certainly am not.

Have you played hanky panky
with Buddy Hobart in the past?

No, I have not.

I see.

You forgot to ask me if I plan

to play hanky panky with
Buddy Hobart in the future.

Do you?

Certainly not.

And may I state for the record
that you've deeply hurt me.

Who, me?

You assumed I was
guilty until proven innocent

rather than assuming I was
innocent until proven guilty.

I did not. I merely asked
a few casual questions.

Oh, come on, Daddy.

You practically accused me.

On pure circumstantial evidence,

you convicted me and
branded me a scarlet woman.

It's no more than
any father would do.

And, for your information,

the item about
Buddy Hobart and me

was strictly a publicity stunt

planted by a professional
publicity agent.

Well, couldn't he think of
something wholesome to say?

Like what?

You mean you haven't done
anything wholesome lately?

Excuse me.

Hi there. How's my
favorite correspondent?

Fine.

He thinks it's funny.

Oh, hi, Mr. Marie.
I didn't see you.

A paper with one of the
largest circulations in the nation

calls my daughter a woman
of sin, and you think it's funny.

No, I don't think it's funny.

I just automatically knew
it was a publicity stunt.

You did?

What else could it be?

Nothing. Thank you, Donald.

How did you automatically
know it was a publicity stunt?

Well, I knew Ann hired
this cut-rate press agent,

without my consent, I might add,

so I simply put two
and two together.

Donald, you put
two and two together

nicer than anybody I know.

Thank you, my
child. I stand insulted.

My own father was
afraid it was true.

I was not. I was merely
concerned about your reputation.

Which is more than I can
say for your alleged boyfriend.

Mr. Marie, I agree with you.

How's that again?

I said I agree with you.

That has a strange
and unfamiliar ring to it.

Now, Daddy, don't be sarcastic.

You agree with him about what?

About this being bad
for your reputation.

Oh.

Well, do you think
we ought to have

Broadway Hullabaloo
print a retraction?

Definitely.

Tell Harry Knickerbocker
to print a retraction,

or I'll sue him for
every nickel he's got.

Good-bye.

Good-bye. Thanks
for dropping by.

I was only doing my duty.

By the way, if your
mother calls about this,

please be patient with her.

When she reads something
scandalous about her daughter,

she's the type
that's liable to panic.

He's amazing.

Does he really believe
that you and Buddy Hobart...

Oh, I doubt it.

But there's something about

reading a story
in the newspaper.

It gives it an air
of authenticity.

Yeah, I know. It's called
the power of the press.

Yeah.

Well, what movie
do you wanna see?

Oh, I don't care. Anything.

Uh, honey?

How did your publicity agent

happen to choose Buddy Hobart?

Oh, he's just another
client who needs publicity.

Plus a divorce.

Oh.

Didn't you once work with
Buddy Hobart in a soap opera?

Mm-hmm. Hey, how about
that new science fiction film

where the couple drives through
their grandfather's body in a jeep?

I remember because one
night you had to work overtime,

and you broke a date with me.

At least, you said you
had to work overtime.

"At least I said"?

Yeah. Come on, let's go.

Just a minute, Donald.

Why did you say,
"At least, you said

you had to work overtime"?

I was just teasing.
Come on, let's go.

Donald, you were not teasing.

You may think you were teasing,

but in the back of
your unconscious mind,

you were doing
something totally different.

What was I doing?

You were accusing me.

You were expressing some
tiny, little, gnawing doubt

that Buddy Hobart
and I actually did

what Broadway
Hullabaloo said we did.

And believe me, I resent it
a lot more coming from you

than I do from
Harry Knickerbocker.

Ann, you're being sensitive.

I am being perceptive.

I am perceiving that somewhere

in the back of your mind
lurks a dirty old man.

A dirty old man?

Excuse me. A dirty young man.

And I demand an apology.

Honey, I don't believe this.

Neither do I. I'm shocked.

Humiliated. Mortified.
Chagrinned and... shocked.

You already said that.

I repeated it for emphasis.

Ugh.

Well, I can certainly
see our relationship

isn't what I thought it was.

So can I.

Me, too.

Would you care to end it?

Is that what you want?

I asked you first.

Would you care to end it?

Well, if you think
that's the only answer.

I'll mull it over and
get back to you.

Yeah, well, fine.
Fine. You do that.

Hello?

Speaking.

I'm fine. How are you?

And who are you?

Who?

Buddy Hobart's buddy?

No, of course he's not here.

And he never has been here.

Yes, I'm all alone.

And would you
please do me a favor

and slap yourself in the face?

Of all the nerve.

Hello? Speaking.

Mr. Baldwin?

Producer?

Yes. Yes.

Well, of course I'm interested in
doing something off-Broadway.

Your apartment on 63rd street?

Good-bye, Mr. Baldwin.

All of a sudden,
I'm very popular

with all the wrong people.

Oh, come on, Donald.

In the spirit of compromise,

crawl over on your
hands and knees,

and beg my forgiveness.

Thought waves.

Hi, remember me? Buddy Hobart?

Oh! Of course I
remember you, Mr. Hobart.

And if I didn't, I'd
have been reminded

by yesterday's
Broadway Hullabaloo.

Your telephone was so busy,

I motored over to
chat with you in person.

What did you wanna
chat with me about?

Well, I wanted to find out
if you were remotely upset

by that story about
us in the paper.

Well, as a matter of fact...

Well, I knew nothing
about it. Neither did my wife.

The only ones who were
in on it were Eddy Edwards,

and Harry Knickerbocker's
legman, who's Eddy's second cousin.

That figures.

May I come in?

You're in.

Well, you see, Eddy asked me

who I thought in recent months

was the prettiest
actress I had worked with,

and I said you were.

Oh, really?

Well, I can hardly be too
angry with you for that, can I?

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Unfortunately, Eddy's method is,

and I quote, "Truth, shmooth,

as long as they
spell the name right."

I know, he told me.

Well, you have to
admit, he works cheap.

Yes, he does.

I once had a press agent
I paid $1,000 a month.

You're kidding!

But those were in the days

when they wanted the leading
men to be strong, virile, manly.

Nowadays, with all the
long hair and ruffled shirts,

it's hard to tell the leading
men from the leading women.

Oh, I agree with you.

I know exactly what you mean.

Do you?

Is it possible with
one as young as you,

there could be some
spark of empathy

with one such as I?

Well, why not?

What's wrong with
one such as you?

Nothing.

Do I make you nervous?

No, not really.

Oh.

Oh, but I'm not not nervous.

I just meant that I
wasn't frightened.

Marvelous eyes. Black, black.

Oh, thank you.

With the look of a woman:

vibrant, touching, exciting.

Perhaps too much woman.

I remember that!

You said that during
the Revolutionary War

to that sweet
little Indian girl.

Or was that Leslie Howard?

Leslie Howard
was before my time.

Oh, sure, mine, too.

You know, I always do that.

Whenever I remember stars,
I remember them in lumps.

Lumps. Cute.

Those eyes.

No! I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

You were this
sheik in the desert,

and you rode up, and you
kidnapped the leading lady,

and you threw her in your tent.

Oh, and the way
you rode that horse.

That lady in black has been
visiting my grave ever since.

That was Rudolph Valentino.

I'm so sorry.

Well, don't be so sorry.
There was some resemblance.

Look, my wife
gets mixed up, too.

Boy, does she get mixed up.

That's why, for
the past nine years,

we've toyed with the
idea of getting a divorce.

You're toyed for 9 years?

What hold us
together is the fear

that we'll have nobody
to throw the furniture at.

How about Eddy Edwards?

Donald Hollinger? Yes?

I'm Marjorie Hobart.

Otherwise known
as, but not for long,

Mrs. Buddy Hobart.

How do you do?

Oh, you have a lovely apartment.

Thank you.

I was asking around
about your ex-girlfriend,

and found out about
her ex-boyfriend.

Are you talking about Ann Marie?

Mm-hmm. Oh, is this her?

Yes, that's her picture.

She's cute.

And so are you.

Mrs. Hobart... Marjorie.

Yes, Marjorie, what
can I do for you?

Oh, not a thing. I just
wanted to stop by to meet you.

You see, according to
Broadway Hullabaloo,

you and I are in the same boat,

and I just wanted to see
who I was sailing with.

I know it's none of my business,

but, well, I think
that any couple

who toys with the idea of
getting a divorce for nine years,

and never goes through with it,

well, it's possible they
don't want one at all.

Here's your coffee.

Oh, I want one.

It's just my wife. She
can't make a decision.

Oh. Cream and sugar?

No, thanks. I'll
just have it black.

Well, wait a minute. Maybe
I'll just have the cream.

Yeah, thank you.
Oh, and the sugar, too.

What's the
difference. Thank you.

Your wife can't make a decision.

How about that? A grown person.

Well, I'm sure
you'll work it out,

just as soon as you
see each other again.

Which is more than I can
say for Donald and me.

Your husband? No,
he's my boyfriend.

Well, he was my boyfriend

until Harry Knickerbocker

and your wife's indecision
came between us.

Did he believe that
story in the papers?

No. Oh.

But he acted like he did.

I mean, for a minute, I
thought he acted like he did,

but he didn't until I
accused him. Then he did.

He did what?

Acted like he did.

Oh, I see.

Anyway, I got angry,
and then he left

and I wouldn't blame him
if he never saw me again.

Why don't you call
him and apologize?

Call him?

I should, shouldn't I?

You certainly should.

No.

Okay.

I'll go over and
apologize to him in person.

Good. I like a woman
who can make up her mind.

Thank you.

If the finance company
haven't picked up my car,

I'll be happy to drive you over.

Oh, that's very sweet of you.

Would you like another
cup of coffee before we go?

No, thanks.

Well, on the other
hand, why not?

Unless... Look, you must
be in a hurry to get over there.

Some other time. I
could take a rain check.

Why don't we decide
on the way over?

Oh, all right.

Or you could have a cup
when we got over there.

We could do that.

Or when we come back,
I could make you a cup.

Of course.

Or we could stop
on the way over.

Or... Let's decide later. Okay.

Here you go, one black coffee.

I hope you don't mind instant.

Oh, I love instant.

Are you a man of vengeance?

A man of vengeance?

Why, I don't know. I
never thought about it.

Well, think about it. Now.

Well, let's see. Am I
a man of vengeance?

Well, I suppose, under
certain circumstances...

What about our circumstances?

My husband and your girlfriend.

Think of that, and ask yourself,

"Wouldn't I like to
get even with her?"

No. No, I wouldn't. No. Why not?

Well, I may be a
man of vengeance,

but not on such short notice.

What are you doing?

I'm testing your sincerity.

Oh, there's my doorbell.

We must talk this over.

I-I-I better answer it.

I'm expecting an
important friend.

Oh, Donald, I'm so sorry.

From the bottom of my
sorry heart, I beg you...

Miss Ann Marie,
Mrs. Buddy Hobart.

Hello.

Good-bye.

Wait a minute. Let me explain.

There's nothing
to explain, Donald.

Couches speak louder than words.

Don't you see what you're doing?

Yes, I'm trying to get out
of here as fast as I can.

You're accusing me of
something I haven't done,

just as you accused
me of accusing you.

There is a big difference.

I accused you of accusing me

from something in the newspaper.

You're accusing
me of accusing you

from something in the flesh.

Hi, Don. I'm Buddy Hobart.

What are you doing here?

Getting acquainted.

What are you doing here?

He generously offered to
give you his word of honor

that he and I
never... Oh, forget it.

Oh, no. No, wait a minute.

We're gonna stay here
and discuss this like adults.

Fine, like adults.

Okay, who wants to start?

I do.

Marjorie, how would you
like a belt in the mouth?

You can try.

See, what did I tell you?

She's got an arm
like Sandy Koufax.

Get away from them.

Stand in the clear, buddy.

I suppose you were
plotting revenge.

No.

Yes.

She was, I wasn't.

Then why did you invite
her to your apartment?

He didn't. I came on my own.

I don't believe you. You're
just saying that to be gallant.

Ann, men say
things to be gallant.

Some men.

Other men cheat on the wives

they've been married
to for 17 years.

I never cheated on you ever!

And I've never cheated on you!

I think we're making progress.

Take that! And that!

That's the way we
get our exercise.

Buddy, don't! This
isn't your furniture!

Sweetheart, didn't you
hear? It's not our furniture.

He called her sweetheart.

Oh, Mrs. Hobart, your
husband called you sweetheart.

He loves you.

Since when?

Since always.

She stopped loving me when
I stopped making big money.

What a rotten thing to say.

Oh, Mrs. Hobart, if your
husband still loves you,

don't you still love him?

Sure. I didn't want
the big money. He did.

His pride was hurt when
he stopped making it,

so for nine years, he's
been taking it out on me.

Now, wait a minute.
That's not completely true.

Not completely?

Okay, it's completely true.

Donald, do you
know what I think?

I think this couple doesn't
want a divorce at all.

I think this couple wants
to make a fresh start,

to try again,

hand in hand, heads
held high against the storm,

strong in their love,
firm in their resolve,

and dedicated to the proposition
that all men are created equal.

Ann? What?

You're overacting, and B:
that's the Gettysburg Address.

Oh.

You think it'll be more
effective if we just left?

I think so. Bye.

Honey.

Excuse me.

Oh, you won't need that.

You won't need that.

Boy, oh, boy. I just
don't understand it.

Why do you wanna fire me now?

Didn't Harry Knickerbocker
print a nice retraction?

Yes. Well, see?

The ball is already
rolling. You can't quit now.

I'm sorry, but...

What, sorry? For $100 a
month, you'll be a big star.

I can't afford it
until I am a star.

Okay, 50 bucks.

Hey, listen,

35 bucks, plus 6 percent
of your gross income.

Net income?

Eddy, it's no use.

Can't you see the
lady's made up her mind?

Why don't you just
give her her $10 back,

and in return, she'll drop
the libel suit against you.

$10? What about my expenses?

Phone calls? Postage? Food!

I'll settle for five.

"I'll settle for five."

All right, I'll send
you a check.

Boy, oh... If you
change your mind,

leave a message for
me at the drugstore.

Well, that seems to be that.

What would you
like to do tonight?

Donald, are you a
man of vengeance?

What do you mean?

I mean that I've decided to
give you a chance to get even.

Now, wait a minute,
Ann, control yourself.

Now, Donald, don't
try and stop me.

Not when I'm so excited.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna take you
over to the Hobarts

and we're gonna
break all their ashtrays.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA