That Girl (1966–1971): Season 2, Episode 22 - He and She and He - full transcript

Hey, honey... the
magazines are out!

Your picture is on the cover,

and you look just great!

Oh, Donald, that's wonderful!

How many did you get?

75.

75?

Well, it's all they had.

Okay, I'll be right out.

It's a good thing
you didn't pose

for the cover of
the telephone book,



or I'd be dead by now.

Donald, would
you please get that?

Okay.

Hello.

Yeah, yeah, this is Miss
Ann Marie's apartment.

Huh?

Overseas operator?

Noel Prince?

Uh, uh, yeah,
just... Just a minute.

Honey, it's your photographer
friend calling from London.

Oh, my gosh. Tell
him I'll be right out.

Uh, she'll be
right out, operator.

Thank you, Donald.

Hello?



Yes, operator.
This is Ann Marie.

Would you believe
This girl is that girl?

♪♪

Oh, I'm fine, Noel. How are you?

Well, I know. I just got a copy.

A few copies.

Well, I love it. It's beautiful.

Oh, I'm fine. Everybody's
fine, thank you.

You know Donald and I
were just talking about you?

Donald.

Donald Hollinger.

Of course you
remember. He's right here.

Do you want to talk to him?

Why not?

Yeah.

Oh, you are?

That's terrific!

Tomorrow night? Donald
and I will pick you up.

Okay. See you at the airport.

Bye, Noel.

What did he say
that was so funny?

When?

When you asked him why
he didn't want to talk to me.

Oh. Oh, he, uh, he
said he'd hang up

and call you back collect,

and if you accepted the charges,

he'd be happy to talk to you.

That's not very funny.

I mean, strictly from
a humor standpoint,

that's not very funny.

Okay, Donald.

What else did he say?

Well, he said he'll
be here for three days.

Again?

Yes. And will you please
try and be civil to him?

Be civil?

Whenever have you
known me not to be civil?

The last time he was here,

when you punched
him in the mouth.

Outside of that.

Hello.

Seymour! Oh, hi, Seymour.

Did you see the cover?

Isn't it terrific?

Oh, you couldn't?

Gee, there must
be a run on them.

Noel Prince. Isn't he great?

What?

You're kidding!

Somebody saw the cover,

and they want me
for a TV commercial.

No, I was just telling Donald.

He's right here. Do
you want to talk to...

Oh. Oh, all right, Seymour.

Thanks for calling. Bye.

Oh, Donald, somebody
saw me on the cover,

and they want me to
do a TV commercial.

You told me. Oh,
that's right. I did.

What did he want?
I just told you!

Somebody saw me on the cover,
and they want me for a TV com...

Not Seymour. Noel Prince.

Oh. I told you that, too.

He's gonna be in New
York for three days.

Oh, no. I mean, what
does he want specifically?

What is he coming back for?

I'll tell you what he's
coming back for... to see you.

Well, I suppose he likes me.

Likes you?

Ann, honey, nobody travels
halfway across the world

for a simple like.

Maybe you go to the ice
box for something you like,

but not from London to New York.

Well, I can't refuse to see him

after all he's done for me.

Can I, Donald?

Well, uh...

Well, honey, I don't
know. That's up to you.

I mean, I shouldn't
do that, should I?

That's something you
alone have to decide.

Well, all right. I decide.

I'm not gonna see him.

You're not afraid
to see him, are you?

Afraid? Of course not.

You told me to
decide, so I decided.

I'm not gonna have
anything to do with him.

Well... honey, I don't
know if I'd put it that way.

Well, Donald, I don't want

to be wishy-washy
about it, so that's that.

Well, I mean, he
hasn't been rude to you.

No. No, he hasn't.

Well, then, you
shouldn't be rude to him.

No, I guess I really shouldn't.

I mean, if you weren't
afraid to see him,

it really doesn't make any
difference if you do see him.

No. I guess it won't.

Of course not.

You're right. I'll see him.

Good.

I don't think I like the way
that whole thing worked out.

Ann, you look marvelous.

Oh, thank you, Noel.

She always looks
great. So she does.

Thank you.

I remember thinking
about you in India.

I was standing in
front of the Taj Mahal.

One thing of beauty always
reminds you of another, you know.

No, no. As a matter
of fact, I didn't know.

The Taj Mahal, India.
Isn't that exciting, Donald?

Oh, certainly is. We'll have
to make that trip someday.

Oh, you mean it's official now?

You two are engaged?

Well, no, not exactly,

but we still have
an understanding.

But you haven't
made any progress.

Pity.

Um... Incidentally, Noel,

thank you so much for
the lovely card from Venice.

Card from Venice?

I didn't hear anything
about a card from Venice.

Didn't you show it to him, love?

Oh. Oh, well, actually,
I... I thought I had.

Gee, it must have
just slipped my mind.

Oh, well, that's understandable.

I mean, a postcard from Venice.

What's such a big deal
about a postcard from Venice?

You see, the reason
I remembered it

was because the
picture was so lovely.

And the stamp.

I've seen a lot of stamps,

but that was some stamp.

What were you doing in Venice?

Sitting in a boat.

I mean, what else can
you be doing in Venice?

My, he's really been
everywhere, hasn't he, Donald?

Well, if not, there's one place
I might suggest he could go.

Well, I know one
place we can all go.

That's my place. I'll
make some coffee.

I bought the most
marvelous ring nut cake today.

That's a cake...
with nuts... in a ring.

Well, actually, Ann, I'm
just about out on my feet.

The time change?

Forgive me?

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot
all about the time.

The evening's been
going by so quickly.

Hasn't it, Donald?

Oh, yes, yes. Hardly seems
we've been sitting here

for three hours and 26 minutes.

But I'll see you again soon.

Yes, I hope so.

Of course, I know

you have a devilishly
busy schedule, Hollinger.

Don't be silly. Never too busy

to see an old
acquaintance of Ann

who's only in the city...

Of course, if you have
a few spare moments,

we'd always like
to show you around.

I say, Hollinger,
would you mind?

I only have English pounds.

Why don't we wait
outside, my dear?

Oh, all right.

Donald, we'll be waiting
right out there for you.

I must tell you about
the trip from London.

Cairo, Venice, the Taj Mahal.

At least I've been to the bank.

Who is it?

Prince of England.

Noel, its 8:00 in the morning.

Isn't it a bit early

for royalty to come calling?

Morning, love. Good morning.

Now, I think I will have
two eggs, scrambled dry.

Noel, you got to
be kidding. I'm late.

One egg, scrambled loose.

I've got an interview
from the magazine cover.

Isn't it rather early for
someone to come calling?

Seems to me I asked
that same question

only a few seconds ago.

Donald!

Hi, honey. I found a few more.

Oh, thank you.

Good morning.

Good morning, Hollinger.

How long have you been here?

Why, whatever do you mean?

Oh, Donald, Noel just dropped...

Come to think of it,
whatever do you mean?

All I meant was...

I just dropped in to
ask Ann to dinner.

Oh.

Oh, well, uh...

Donald, do we have any plans?

We have no plans.

Oh, well... well, fine,
then. Donald and I...

But I'm afraid I have
some work to do.

But, Donald...

Excellent! Shall we
say about 8, then?

Well, uh... About
8 will be fine.

About 8 will be fine.

Sporting! Very sporting.

Let's hope you're
as good a loser

as you are a player.

I'm not playing any
more than you are.

I don't know if anybody cares,

but I'm beginning to
feel like a volleyball.

I'll see you about
8, then, love.

And look your loveliest,
like you always do.

Donald, why did you do that?

Isn't it obvious? The man
wants to see you alone.

But why? I mean, the three of us

have always had so
much fun together.

Ann, honey, the three of us
have never had any fun together.

Wait a minute. I take that back.

The time I punched
his teeth in in California.

That was fun.

Oh, Donald, you have no reason

to be jealous of him.

Jealous? Honey, I
passed jealous months ago.

Good.

Dislike, jealous, hate.

I'm up to "sick of" already.

Why do you want me
to be alone with him?

Because I think we
ought to get it over with.

Thank you, Noel. It
was a lovely evening.

But was it memorable?

'Cause that's what I intended.

Yes, yes, it was,
very memorable...

The food, the music,
the wine, everything.

It was just perfect.

Good. You can't ask for
much better than perfect.

Then...

I've laid a pretty
good foundation.

For what?

For what I'm about
to say... to ask.

Coffee.

I bet you'd like
another cup of coffee.

I'll fix some... No, no.

In 20 seconds.

No coffee. Sit.

Ann... when I last met you,

I knew that I cared about you

more than anyone I'd ever met.

That's why I was
always thinking about you

in Cairo, Tokyo,
everywhere I went.

You were never off my
mind, even for a second.

Oh.

Well, thank you very much, Noel.

Don't you see what
I'm trying to say?

I'm asking you to marry me.

Who, me?

Ann, I asked you

to do me the honor
of becoming my wife.

Oh, Noel, there isn't any
other honor in the world

I wouldn't do you,

but you know I love Donald.

If I don't mind marrying a
girl who loves someone else,

Then we've more or
less solved the problem.

Oh, Noel, you don't want to marry
somebody who doesn't love you.

All in good time, Ann.

I've got yards of patience.

It's sort of a
national heritage.

And we like each other.

I think starting out
liking each other

is far more important.

But, Noel...

Think what it would be
like being Mrs. Noel Prince.

Actually, I've given
it some thought,

and it's quite appealing.

You really are crazy.

Don't make your decision now.

Give me your
answer in the morning.

Actually, I'd prefer it then.

Oh, Noel, that's silly. Why?

Well, if it's no,

then at least I'll have
had a night's hoping,

and if it's yes,

then I won't mind having waited.

A kiss for the proposer?

Well, uh... the proposee's
still a little flustered.

Good night, love.

Good night, Noel.

Just a minute, Noel.

The name is Don.

Oh. Noel just left his hat.

Well, I was just passing
by. I thought I'd drop in.

How was your evening?

Oh, nothing terribly special.

What did you do?

Oh, nothing terribly special.

Ate at a diner.

How was your dinner?

Oh, you know, just... dinner.

What did you talk about?

Oh, you know,

the things friends talk about.

I asked him what
his next job was.

He asked me if I
was getting any parts.

I asked him about England.

He asked me to marry him.

He asked you to marry him?

Just like that?

Well, not just like that.

More romantic.

For crying out loud, Ann.

There's no reason
for you to be upset.

I didn't give him an answer.

That's terrific. You
didn't give him an answer.

What's the matter,
aren't you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

Then why didn't you tell him so?

Well, I tried to, but
you know how he is.

But I made it very clear
that I didn't say yes.

Look, anywhere along the line,

did you happen to mention
you were in love with me?

Well, of course,
over and over again,

and that you love me.

And?

He doesn't care.

What does that
mean, he doesn't care?

What does that mean?

Now, Donald, please, I
don't want you to be upset.

Look, Ann... look, honey, I
didn't know I was the jealous type,

but I just found out
I'm the jealous type.

That's all right, Donald.

I'm jealous because this
guy is in love with you.

Look, I can't write
him off as a nut.

I mean, I know how
easy it is to love you.

And he's a charming
guy. I'm not denying that.

He's a charming guy.

If he wasn't involved with you,

I'd probably like
him a lot myself.

But, honey, you can't have two
guys in love with you at the same time

without one getting hurt.

You can't have both of us.

I know.

So you have to decide.

Oh, Donald.

No, no, no. I understand.

I mean, a successful
photographer,

travels all around the world.

I understand.

But there's nothing
to understand.

Look...

Look, you don't
have to tell me now.

You... You... You
tell me in the morning.

In the morning?

Yeah. I mean, if it's no,

at least I've had
a night's hoping.

If it's me, then... I
won't mind waiting.

That's just what Noel said.

Ha! Boy, that figures.

He got to say it first.

Donald.

Fat head.

Good morning, Ann.

I love you.

Good morning, Noel.

Good morning, honey. I love you.

Good morning, Donald.

Oh, I'm so glad you both called.

I've made up my mind.

It's time I got married.

And do you, Ann Marie,

take this man Noel Prince...

and this man Don Hollinger

as your lawful wedded husbands?

I do.

I now pronounce
you men and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

She just likes me.

Oh! I love it!

We picked it out together.
We picked it out together.

Oh, thank you. It's beautyful.

What a wonderful
place to come home to

after a perfect honeymoon.

Rome, Venice, Beirut.

You picked wonderful
places, Noel.

Albany, Columbus, Pittsburgh.

Perfect honeymoon
cities, Donald.

I think we're the
happiest triple in the world.

I love you, Donald.

I like you, Noel.

Good morning.

Good morning, dear.

It's been six glorious
months today.

Just three months, Ann.

Three months with you, Noel,

and three months
with you, Donald.

Aren't I lucky?

I'll be home very
late tomorrow night.

I have to work.

Oh, really?

You always manage to sneak out

on your night for garbage.

Sneak? What do you mean, sneak?

Come, come, you two.

You'll be late for works.

Yes, darling.

Goodbye, Donald.

Goodbye, Ann.

Goodbye, Noel.

Goodbye, love.

Darling, we're home.

Oh! What an awful night!

It's raining, it's pouring,
the old man is snoring.

Do you think it will ever stop?

All in good time.

What's for dinner?

I've made veal piccata.

You know I don't like veal.

And I detest piccata.

Take off your coats.

You'll catch your
deaths of colds.

Yes, and you're
dripping all over my rug.

Your rug? It's our rug.

Keep out of this!

Stop it, stop it!
Fighting, arguing!

That's why it's
raining. It's a warning.

A storm warning.

No, because there
are three of us

when there should be two of us.

Don't you like and love us?

Things weren't made for three.

Tea for three? No.

Things were made for two.

Loveseats were made for two.

Does it take... three to tango?

You'll have to choose, Ann.

I can't, I can't.

It's your night for
opening the door.

Yes?

Ann Marie? That's me.

Okay, I've got room on board
for Ann Marie and her husband.

On board what?

The boat.

Of course! Didn't
we meet in Venice?

What Venice? I've been
working my fingers to the bone

trying to finish this on time.

What do you think
this rain is all about?

Ah, it'll clear up.

No chance. Gonna last
for 40 days and 40 nights.

Listen, I haven't time to argue.

I'm rounding up pairs.

Oh! Oh! Maybe we better go.

Just you and your husband.

But I have... two husbands.

I told you, one husband.

We're working in pairs.

If I take two husbands,
I've got to leave out a giraffe.

That's not fair!

It is if you're a giraffe.

Look, I've only got 90 cubits.

You'll have to
choose, young lady.

Do I really have to?

Yes, and you haven't much time.

The water's up to
the third floor now.

I'm coming, I'm coming!

Ann, I can't swim.

You love me, Ann.

But you can swim.

Oh! Oh!

You've got to choose.

I'm just a so-so swimmer.

I can't! Please, please!

It's your decision.

I can't! Oh, please!

It's your decision.

But you love me, Ann.

I love, you, Ann.

Oh, I can't, I can't, I can't.

It's your decision.

Oh, please, please.

I can't, I can't, I can't.

Ann, I love you.

Stop it! I can't!

You love me, Ann.

Remember, he can swim.

It's your decision.

You love me, Ann.

I love you, Ann.

It's your decision, love.

You love me, Ann.

But you can swim.

Ann!

Ann!

Ann!

Ann!

Ann!

Just a minute.

Hi.

Boy, it's pouring.

I know.

I've been knocking
for five minutes.

Where you been?

Trying to get on the boat.

You okay, Ann?

You know, Donald?
You were right.

It is impossible to be
involved with two men at once.

Not that I ever was,
but I dreamt I was.

I dreamt we were married.

And it didn't work out?

Total flop.

Uh, uh, wait a
minute. Wait a minute.

You mean you dreamt

that you and me we were married,

or the you and... he we?

The you-me, the
he-me, the three of us.

The three of us?

Honey, that's bigamy.
That's against the law.

Just as well. I don't think
it would ever catch on.

I know it isn't morning yet,

but do you want to
hear my decision?

Only if it's in my favor.

What do you think?

Well, I'm off to
the airport, love.

Cheerio.

Goodbye, Noel.

So long, old man.

Well, I'll say one
thing for you...

You're a good loser.

I didn't know the game was over.

Ann, are you absolutely sure

you made yourself clear to him?

I certainly did. Didn't I, Noel?

Absolutely.

Bye-bye, love.

Bye, Noel.

See you.

Ann, maybe you better tell me

exactly what you said to him.

All right. I can remember
it word for word.

I said to him, and I quote,

"I'm very, very sorry, Noel.

"Although I'm
terribly fond of you,

"and I think any
girl in the world

"would be fortunate indeed
to marry a man like you,

"and if things were different,

"and we'd met at another
time, another place...

"but we didn't,
and they're not...

So under the circumstances,
you understand."

Honey, that's not saying no.

All you did was give
him a definite maybe.

Well, Donald, doesn't
a definite maybe

soften the blow?

Uh...