That Girl (1966–1971): Season 2, Episode 20 - Call of the Wild - full transcript
Ann has a job for a television commercial, but she's depressed about it. It's not the job itself, but why she got it: because she exudes a wholesome, well-scrubbed image with no connotation of sexuality at all. On top of that well-scrubbed exterior, Ann wants to be considered glamorous and sexy. She wants Donald at least to feel that animal passion when he looks or thinks of her, and not just love out of friendship and respect. Donald is in a conundrum as he wants to make Ann feel sexy and desirable while still respecting the status of their relationship. However, Ann may be shown that she is sexy from an unexpected source, and beyond the wanted end message whoever it's from, an unwanted source.
Girls, girls, girls. I
am embarrassed.
All your agents got the wrong
information from our casting office.
I specifically said I do
not want any glamorous,
gorgeous or seductive
girls for this commercial.
"Do not". So they
leave out the word "not",
and look what they send
me, a bunch of "do" s.
So if you beautiful, glamorous
and seductive creatures
can forgive me, you can all go.
Every one of you
is wrong for this part.
Except that girl.
I'm sorry, girls,
that I dragged you
all the way up here for nothing,
but I'll make it up to you.
I'm doing some
commercials next week.
Yes. Thank you very much.
Well, I don't know how you
got mixed up with that group,
but it's my luck that you did.
I could have looked for
a girl like you for months.
"A girl like me"?
I'm not quite sure I
understand what you mean
by "a girl like me".
You're right on the nose.
Everything the Creamy
Soap girl should be.
I am? Of course!
Look at that image.
The way it projects.
None of that sexy stuff.
No mystery. None of
that "come hither" jazz.
Everything is on the table.
There you are. Wholesome
and well-scrubbed.
Like an Idaho potato.
Yeah. That's it exactly.
"America" is written
all over your face.
Like hot dogs, apple pie,
hamburger with
onions, the kid next door.
No freckles?
Sorry about that.
That's all right. You
can get away with it.
Look at you.
Every mother's child.
The Girl Scout that
stays a Girl Scout forever.
You know, like the kid in
the funnies with no eyes.
Mr. Hayworth, I know
I'm no Sophia Loren...
Believe me, dear, that is one
thing you don't have to worry about.
What a relief.
I look at you and I see
the daughter I never had.
She would have
looked exactly like you.
Oh. Thank you.
The image. I
wouldn't lie to you.
Y-You're very kind.
Don't mention it.
Look, do you know
what the beauty of us is?
We got the human image.
Well, looking human,
after all, is something.
The human image
is very important
when you're making your
pitch mostly to women.
You wouldn't want a housewife
who's watching a commercial
with her husband
and have him saying,
"Boy, oh, boy!
Get a load of that."
She would hate the product
because she resents the girl.
But, honey, no
housewife in the world
could ever resent you.
Thank you.
Don't thank me.
Congratulations,
Miss Creamy Girl.
Thank you, Mr. Hayworth.
I very much appreciate
this opportunity.
And... thank you.
You don't have to thank me.
What you've got,
money can't buy.
I'm glad of that.
I'd kill myself before
I'd spend another nickel.
Hello, Jerry. Hi,
Little Miss Muffet.
Whatcha you doing?
Oh, nothing much.
Just hanging around,
sitting on my tuffet.
Is something wrong?
Oh, no. Nothing's wrong.
Where's your associate?
Isn't it time for
curds and whey?
Something's wrong.
He's with the boss. He
ought to be back any minute.
Jerry.
Would you say I have
a "well-scrubbed look"?
Yeah. I say that all the time.
As a matter of
fact, I say to Ruthie,
"Doesn't Ann have a
well-scrubbed look?"
I certainly don't think
it's very nice of you
to talk about people
behind their backs.
Hey, I meant that
as a compliment.
I know you did.
It's just that I'm
already so depressed,
I don't think I can stand
another compliment.
Oh. I guess this
just isn't my day.
I wonder who's it is.
It certainly isn't mine.
Hi, gorgeous.
What did you mean by that?
What did I mean by what?
"Hi, gorgeous".
Nice talking to you.
When I said, "Hi, gorgeous",
I meant what I always
mean when I see you,
"Hi, gorgeous".
Oh. You mean, it's
just like saying, "Hello".
Not exactly.
I wouldn't say, "Hi,
gorgeous" to Jerry.
Uh-oh.
Wait a minute.
You didn't get the job.
Oh, I got it.
Don't you think you
ought to notify your face?
You don't look
very happy about it.
Wait a minute. Did the
producer get fresh with you?
Oh, Donald, don't be silly.
You don't get fresh with
a girl who's got hot dogs
and hamburgers
all over her face.
I beg your pardon?
Look at me. Apple pie.
Every mother's child.
Who's gonna get
fresh with a little kid
out of the funny
papers with no eyes?
I refuse to answer that on the
grounds that it may incriminate me.
Donald, you just
don't understand.
Of course I'm happy
that I've got the job,
it's just how I got it
that depresses me.
What did you have to do?
Nothing. See what I mean?
Of course not.
Come on, let's eat.
Donald... Honey,
you don't want a guy
that understands
everything you say.
The next thing you'd know,
they'd be taking
him out in a net.
But, Donald...
♪♪
Put that back on!
Daddy!
What is the idea?
Exactly what is the idea?
Uh, I was just...
uh... I-I was just...
Just what?
Well, uh...
How long have you
been standing there?
Long enough. New York, eh?
If this is what living in
New York is leading to,
I absolutely refuse
to allow it to continue.
Daddy, I wasn't doing anything.
Really.
You call what you were
doing, "nothing"? Ha!
What were you doing, anyway?
Just come and sit
down and let me explain.
You see, I was... Well, I was...
Look, I got this job this
morning for a TV commercial.
You're gonna put on an
exhibition like that for television?
Pack your things.
You're coming home.
Of course I'm not gonna do
anything like that on television.
Honestly, Daddy. What's
happened to your faith?
I lost it when I walked thorough
that door a few seconds ago.
When I tell you why
I got that commercial,
you'll get your faith
back... in spades.
Commercial? What is
it you're trying to sell?
Soap. And the reason
the producer chose me
is because he thinks I have
absolutely no sex appeal.
So I was just trying
to cultivate a little.
Sex appeal?
That's fine talk coming
from a little girl from Brewster.
Daddy, little girls don't
come from Brewster
or any place else if somebody,
somewhere along the way
doesn't have some sex appeal.
What do you want
with sex appeal?
Isn't it enough you've
got sparkle in your eyes
and roses in your cheeks?
You just wouldn't
understand, Daddy.
Your mother never cared
whether she had any sex appeal.
Neither did my mother.
Marie women have always
been earthy women. I know.
They didn't spend their
lives in beauty parlors.
Naturalism was their trademark.
Why, you never even used to use
a lot of different colored
goop on your face.
When you were a little
girl back in Brewster,
you used to pull your
hair and pinch your cheeks
and bite your lips, and
when people saw you
they used to say,
"There goes Ann Marie."
The girl with the swollen head
and the black and blue lips.
Ann, in your
present state of mind
I think it would be
a very good idea
for you to come
home for the weekend.
What good would that do?
For one thing, it would keep
your mother from being lonely.
As long as she has you,
Daddy, how can she be lonely?
Because I'm moving
in next door to you.
You're not serious.
You wouldn't do that.
Yes, I am serious.
And... no, I wouldn't.
But I should.
Thank you, Daddy.
What time is it?
10 after 5:00.
I've got to get dressed.
I have to meet Donald.
All right.
I suppose he's been
encouraging this attitude.
Don't be ridiculous.
Donald has absolutely
nothing to do with this.
Daddy, Donald has the
utmost respect for me.
I hope so. Take care
of yourself, sweetheart.
I'll see you Thursday.
It's funny how in so many
ways Donald reminds me of you.
I'll bet you were just like
him when you were his age.
Uh, make that Monday.
Good movie.
We have a lot of excellent
people in our movies over here,
but there's something
about European women.
Sex appeal.
You might say that.
Yeah, you could say that.
Ice cream?
Okay, but if it's not too late.
What about that commercial
you're doing tomorrow?
Nothing to it.
All I have to do is bite my
lips and pinch my cheeks
and I'm good as new.
Okay.
But it's not only the
women, you know.
European men have a sort of
interesting something about them, too.
It's experience, and
a sort of savoir faire.
I guess it's an attitude.
Sex appeal.
Yeah. I guess so.
Donald. Hmm?
Do you think I have
any sex appeal?
What kind of a question
is that to ask of a guy
who's in love with you?
I'd just like a simple
"yes" or an insulting "no".
What kind of sex appeal?
How many kinds are there?
You mean, like a Gina
Lollobrigida or a Brigitte Bardot?
Either one.
You're all different.
You could say that about
me and The Three Stooges.
What I want to know is,
when you're with me,
and we're alone together,
and you look at me, like now...
what happens?
You generally get kissed.
That's what happens to me.
I want to know
what happens to you.
Why do you kiss me?
Why?
Because I enjoy it.
Like that dish of ice cream?
I never kissed a
dish of ice cream.
Oh, Donald. You
know what I mean.
Do you feel something...
uncontrollable inside of you?
For instance?
Well, something
along the lines of...
say... animal passion?
Uh... Yeah, yeah.
You could say animal passion.
Tempered with
respect, of course.
Oh, can you do that?
What?
Temper animal
passion with respect?
I do my best.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go home.
What about your ice cream?
It's melted.
Oh, come on. I'll
fix you some more.
I don't want any more.
Well, okay.
Good night, Donald.
Good night, Ann.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Daddy.
Oh, yes. Donald and
I went to the movies.
We just got back.
Oh, yes.
Eating ice cream.
Oh, it was a very good movie.
Uh, about a man and a woman.
Well, you know...
No, not a particular
kind of story.
Just a ordinary kind of
man and woman story.
Oh, Daddy, Donald
and I were just saying...
Oh. Well... Fine.
Just a minute, Daddy.
He wants me to
tell him the story.
He says he'll hang on.
Daddy?
Yeah, well, it all starts in
this little mountain village
in Austria during
the summer of 1956.
All right. Everybody
settle down, please.
Give me a bell.
All right now, dear.
Hold the soap
up a little higher.
That's it. Good girl.
All right. Roll 'em.
Now zoom in for the close shot.
Do you want me to smile?
Sure, go ahead if you
want. It doesn't matter.
Uh-huh. Cut!
Print it!
Cut! Beautiful, sweetheart.
All right. Now
reach for the towel.
That's the idea. Now
turn around slowly.
This time we want
to see your face.
Ahh... cut! Perfect.
All right, fellas.
That's a wrap-up.
Thank you very much.
Miss Marie, I'd like to see you
in my office after you wash up.
Wash up?
Come in.
Yes, Mr. Hayworth?
Come in, young lady. Come in.
You did a great
job. A great job.
Oh, thank you.
Don't mention it.
We'll be doing other
things together, too.
Don't you worry about it.
And listen,
you'll be getting a regular
supply of Cream Soap
from now on in the bargain.
How about that?
That's wonderful.
I love it. Don't mention it.
What's the address again?
My address? It's 344 West 78th.
344 West 78th.
And thank you very
much, Mr. Hayworth.
Hey. Is this funny?
I live three minutes from you.
Isn't that funny?
Look, why get shoved
around on a bus for a half hour.
I'm through for the day.
Come on, I'll drive you home.
Oh, that's not necessary.
Are you kidding? Nothing's too
good for our little Creamy Girl.
After you, my dear.
What's the matter with you?
You've been mooning
and moping around all day.
Nothing can be that bad.
Just thinking about Ann.
Jerry, you have no idea...
Oh, yes, I have. She told
Ruthie what was bugging her.
You know Ruthie
tells me everything.
Ann figures, all of a sudden,
pow, she's got no sex appeal.
Yeah. How about that?
It happens to women.
You gotta understand that.
And when it happens, you gotta
make a little effort to reassure them.
You know what I mean?
Wait a minute, Jerry. I
don't think you understand.
I don't understand?
Are you kidding?
Even Ruthie every
once in a while
wants to feel like
a femme fatale.
Every once in a while,
they need a little excitement.
Wait a minute, I'm
trying to tell you...
No, no, let me tell you.
You've got to give her a
little comfort and security.
Tell her the things
she wants to hear.
Tell her that she's
alluring and seductive
and that she's driving
you out of your mind.
Jerry! Don't argue, just try it.
Don, if it makes her feel better,
what have you got to lose?
Well, thank you very much,
Mr. Hayworth, for driving me home.
That was very nice of you,
but you really didn't
have to see me to my door.
It's my pleasure.
Besides, I have
an ulterior motive.
You do?
Oh, yes. I want to see where
and how our little Creamy Girl lives.
Charming. Great taste.
Very, very attractive.
Thank you.
Every bit as attractive
as the young lady
who decorated it.
You did decorate it
yourself, didn't you?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Come on over here, sit
down and tell me all about it.
Actually, Mr. Hayworth, there
really isn't that much to tell.
I'll bet there's a lot more
to you than meets the eye.
I'm really very uncomplicated.
Uncomplicated as anything,
but you've got an undercurrent.
A very attractive undercurrent.
When you're as
well-scrubbed as I am,
there isn't much chance for
anything to settle on the surface.
You've got subtlety, Miss Marie,
and that's very exciting in
someone as attractive as you are.
Attractive? Me? Attractive?
When you sent
those other girls away,
you said that...
They were wrong because
they were so obvious.
You know what I mean?
Oh. What about my "human image"?
Great! There's nothing as
exciting as a human image
with an undercurrent and
a hunk of subtlety thrown in.
It's mysterious. You
know what I mean?
Yes. How about some
iced tea, Mr. Hayworth?
Call me Clinton.
Iced tea, Mr. Clinton?
Nothing stronger? Iced coffee?
I don't have to drink.
It's enough that I'm in
the same room with you.
You know what
you've got, Miss Marie?
Sex appeal.
Thank you, Mr. Hayworth.
I appreciate that very much.
I really do. I just wish
you'd sit down for a minute.
But I can't sit down.
I'm keyed up from shooting
commercials all day.
I've got to keep
moving. It's my nature.
Wh-What do you
keep running away for?
Mr. Hayworth, I'm trying very hard
to maintain a little poise and dignity,
but you make it very
difficult to be polite.
Why don't you relax?
Take a minute out
for some pleasure.
Mr. Hayworth, I'm afraid I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave.
Oh, now that's not fair,
and it certainly isn't human.
What does that mean?
You kindle a fire up in a man,
then you just toss him
aside like a wet match.
I'm very sorry about
that, Mr. Hayworth.
Don't apologize.
Mr. Hayworth! Don't do that!
Don't force me
to raise my voice.
Wait a minute.
Mr. Hayworth, I said no!
No, Mr. Hayworth! Will
you hold still a second?
If you don't let go I'm
gonna start screaming!
I can't let go. My
watch is caught.
Oh.
If you'll just hold still
and stop struggling...
Why didn't you say
so in the first place?
Just wait a minute.
Mr. Hayworth, please don't!
You're tearing my dress!
If you'd only stand still
instead of struggling...
Hey!
What do you think you're doing!
Oh, Donald! Wait!
Uhh!
Donald! What did
you do that for?
We were only
trying to get unloose.
You what?
Mr. Hayworth, are you all right?
Just a broken nose, that's all.
I'm very sorry.
Who sent for the mafia?
This is my boyfriend,
Donald Hollinger.
Donald, this is Mr. Hayworth,
the producer of the commercial.
This is the producer who thought you
were as wholesome as an Idaho potato?
It turns out he only
meant it professionally.
Mr. Hayworth...
I'm not getting up until I
have your word as a gentleman
that he won't hit me again.
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
Actually, there wouldn't
have been any problem
if his watch hadn't got stuck.
If you'll excuse me, I think
I've got guests for dinner.
Can you make it home
all right, Mr. Hayworth?
Don't worry about
me. I'll be fine.
Nice to have met you.
I'll let myself out.
Good-bye, Mr. Hayworth.
Thank you for the commercial.
Don't mention it.
To anybody!
Well, isn't that terrible.
How do you like the
nerve of that guy?
All that free soap
right down the drain.
What?
Well, easy come, easy go.
Oh, my dress.
Can't you have it
reknitted or rewoven?
It'll probably cost a fortune.
You ought to ask
Mr. Hayworth to pay for it.
He did it. Actually,
he didn't do it.
You did it. Me? I did not!
You did so! It was
perfectly all right.
Donald, you tore my dress!
I had no choice, the
way you were struggling.
Take your hands off
that woman... girl. Daddy.
Have you no decency?
Have you no shame?
Have you no bathrobe?
All we were doing was
pinning my dress back together.
Is that what you were doing?
Yes, sir.
Well, I-I thought I heard
loud voices in the hall,
and Ann here,
living here all alone,
a beautiful young
girl with sex appeal...
Thank you, Daddy.
See, Donald?
Even my father thinks
I've got sex appeal.
Don't raise your voice.
First thing everybody
in the building will know.
Voilá! Dinner is served.
Are you hungry? Starved.
Oh, good.
Donald...
That thing we were
talking about the other night,
when Daddy called, remember?
Uh-huh.
You never really did
answer my question.
Do you think I have... Yes.
You didn't let me
ask the question.
Do you think... Yes.
Donald. Oh, yes.
L-Let me just...
Yes, yes, honey, yes.
Oh, yes. Yes, I do.
Mm-hmm. Sí. Yes, yes...
Closed-Captioned by J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA.
am embarrassed.
All your agents got the wrong
information from our casting office.
I specifically said I do
not want any glamorous,
gorgeous or seductive
girls for this commercial.
"Do not". So they
leave out the word "not",
and look what they send
me, a bunch of "do" s.
So if you beautiful, glamorous
and seductive creatures
can forgive me, you can all go.
Every one of you
is wrong for this part.
Except that girl.
I'm sorry, girls,
that I dragged you
all the way up here for nothing,
but I'll make it up to you.
I'm doing some
commercials next week.
Yes. Thank you very much.
Well, I don't know how you
got mixed up with that group,
but it's my luck that you did.
I could have looked for
a girl like you for months.
"A girl like me"?
I'm not quite sure I
understand what you mean
by "a girl like me".
You're right on the nose.
Everything the Creamy
Soap girl should be.
I am? Of course!
Look at that image.
The way it projects.
None of that sexy stuff.
No mystery. None of
that "come hither" jazz.
Everything is on the table.
There you are. Wholesome
and well-scrubbed.
Like an Idaho potato.
Yeah. That's it exactly.
"America" is written
all over your face.
Like hot dogs, apple pie,
hamburger with
onions, the kid next door.
No freckles?
Sorry about that.
That's all right. You
can get away with it.
Look at you.
Every mother's child.
The Girl Scout that
stays a Girl Scout forever.
You know, like the kid in
the funnies with no eyes.
Mr. Hayworth, I know
I'm no Sophia Loren...
Believe me, dear, that is one
thing you don't have to worry about.
What a relief.
I look at you and I see
the daughter I never had.
She would have
looked exactly like you.
Oh. Thank you.
The image. I
wouldn't lie to you.
Y-You're very kind.
Don't mention it.
Look, do you know
what the beauty of us is?
We got the human image.
Well, looking human,
after all, is something.
The human image
is very important
when you're making your
pitch mostly to women.
You wouldn't want a housewife
who's watching a commercial
with her husband
and have him saying,
"Boy, oh, boy!
Get a load of that."
She would hate the product
because she resents the girl.
But, honey, no
housewife in the world
could ever resent you.
Thank you.
Don't thank me.
Congratulations,
Miss Creamy Girl.
Thank you, Mr. Hayworth.
I very much appreciate
this opportunity.
And... thank you.
You don't have to thank me.
What you've got,
money can't buy.
I'm glad of that.
I'd kill myself before
I'd spend another nickel.
Hello, Jerry. Hi,
Little Miss Muffet.
Whatcha you doing?
Oh, nothing much.
Just hanging around,
sitting on my tuffet.
Is something wrong?
Oh, no. Nothing's wrong.
Where's your associate?
Isn't it time for
curds and whey?
Something's wrong.
He's with the boss. He
ought to be back any minute.
Jerry.
Would you say I have
a "well-scrubbed look"?
Yeah. I say that all the time.
As a matter of
fact, I say to Ruthie,
"Doesn't Ann have a
well-scrubbed look?"
I certainly don't think
it's very nice of you
to talk about people
behind their backs.
Hey, I meant that
as a compliment.
I know you did.
It's just that I'm
already so depressed,
I don't think I can stand
another compliment.
Oh. I guess this
just isn't my day.
I wonder who's it is.
It certainly isn't mine.
Hi, gorgeous.
What did you mean by that?
What did I mean by what?
"Hi, gorgeous".
Nice talking to you.
When I said, "Hi, gorgeous",
I meant what I always
mean when I see you,
"Hi, gorgeous".
Oh. You mean, it's
just like saying, "Hello".
Not exactly.
I wouldn't say, "Hi,
gorgeous" to Jerry.
Uh-oh.
Wait a minute.
You didn't get the job.
Oh, I got it.
Don't you think you
ought to notify your face?
You don't look
very happy about it.
Wait a minute. Did the
producer get fresh with you?
Oh, Donald, don't be silly.
You don't get fresh with
a girl who's got hot dogs
and hamburgers
all over her face.
I beg your pardon?
Look at me. Apple pie.
Every mother's child.
Who's gonna get
fresh with a little kid
out of the funny
papers with no eyes?
I refuse to answer that on the
grounds that it may incriminate me.
Donald, you just
don't understand.
Of course I'm happy
that I've got the job,
it's just how I got it
that depresses me.
What did you have to do?
Nothing. See what I mean?
Of course not.
Come on, let's eat.
Donald... Honey,
you don't want a guy
that understands
everything you say.
The next thing you'd know,
they'd be taking
him out in a net.
But, Donald...
♪♪
Put that back on!
Daddy!
What is the idea?
Exactly what is the idea?
Uh, I was just...
uh... I-I was just...
Just what?
Well, uh...
How long have you
been standing there?
Long enough. New York, eh?
If this is what living in
New York is leading to,
I absolutely refuse
to allow it to continue.
Daddy, I wasn't doing anything.
Really.
You call what you were
doing, "nothing"? Ha!
What were you doing, anyway?
Just come and sit
down and let me explain.
You see, I was... Well, I was...
Look, I got this job this
morning for a TV commercial.
You're gonna put on an
exhibition like that for television?
Pack your things.
You're coming home.
Of course I'm not gonna do
anything like that on television.
Honestly, Daddy. What's
happened to your faith?
I lost it when I walked thorough
that door a few seconds ago.
When I tell you why
I got that commercial,
you'll get your faith
back... in spades.
Commercial? What is
it you're trying to sell?
Soap. And the reason
the producer chose me
is because he thinks I have
absolutely no sex appeal.
So I was just trying
to cultivate a little.
Sex appeal?
That's fine talk coming
from a little girl from Brewster.
Daddy, little girls don't
come from Brewster
or any place else if somebody,
somewhere along the way
doesn't have some sex appeal.
What do you want
with sex appeal?
Isn't it enough you've
got sparkle in your eyes
and roses in your cheeks?
You just wouldn't
understand, Daddy.
Your mother never cared
whether she had any sex appeal.
Neither did my mother.
Marie women have always
been earthy women. I know.
They didn't spend their
lives in beauty parlors.
Naturalism was their trademark.
Why, you never even used to use
a lot of different colored
goop on your face.
When you were a little
girl back in Brewster,
you used to pull your
hair and pinch your cheeks
and bite your lips, and
when people saw you
they used to say,
"There goes Ann Marie."
The girl with the swollen head
and the black and blue lips.
Ann, in your
present state of mind
I think it would be
a very good idea
for you to come
home for the weekend.
What good would that do?
For one thing, it would keep
your mother from being lonely.
As long as she has you,
Daddy, how can she be lonely?
Because I'm moving
in next door to you.
You're not serious.
You wouldn't do that.
Yes, I am serious.
And... no, I wouldn't.
But I should.
Thank you, Daddy.
What time is it?
10 after 5:00.
I've got to get dressed.
I have to meet Donald.
All right.
I suppose he's been
encouraging this attitude.
Don't be ridiculous.
Donald has absolutely
nothing to do with this.
Daddy, Donald has the
utmost respect for me.
I hope so. Take care
of yourself, sweetheart.
I'll see you Thursday.
It's funny how in so many
ways Donald reminds me of you.
I'll bet you were just like
him when you were his age.
Uh, make that Monday.
Good movie.
We have a lot of excellent
people in our movies over here,
but there's something
about European women.
Sex appeal.
You might say that.
Yeah, you could say that.
Ice cream?
Okay, but if it's not too late.
What about that commercial
you're doing tomorrow?
Nothing to it.
All I have to do is bite my
lips and pinch my cheeks
and I'm good as new.
Okay.
But it's not only the
women, you know.
European men have a sort of
interesting something about them, too.
It's experience, and
a sort of savoir faire.
I guess it's an attitude.
Sex appeal.
Yeah. I guess so.
Donald. Hmm?
Do you think I have
any sex appeal?
What kind of a question
is that to ask of a guy
who's in love with you?
I'd just like a simple
"yes" or an insulting "no".
What kind of sex appeal?
How many kinds are there?
You mean, like a Gina
Lollobrigida or a Brigitte Bardot?
Either one.
You're all different.
You could say that about
me and The Three Stooges.
What I want to know is,
when you're with me,
and we're alone together,
and you look at me, like now...
what happens?
You generally get kissed.
That's what happens to me.
I want to know
what happens to you.
Why do you kiss me?
Why?
Because I enjoy it.
Like that dish of ice cream?
I never kissed a
dish of ice cream.
Oh, Donald. You
know what I mean.
Do you feel something...
uncontrollable inside of you?
For instance?
Well, something
along the lines of...
say... animal passion?
Uh... Yeah, yeah.
You could say animal passion.
Tempered with
respect, of course.
Oh, can you do that?
What?
Temper animal
passion with respect?
I do my best.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go home.
What about your ice cream?
It's melted.
Oh, come on. I'll
fix you some more.
I don't want any more.
Well, okay.
Good night, Donald.
Good night, Ann.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Daddy.
Oh, yes. Donald and
I went to the movies.
We just got back.
Oh, yes.
Eating ice cream.
Oh, it was a very good movie.
Uh, about a man and a woman.
Well, you know...
No, not a particular
kind of story.
Just a ordinary kind of
man and woman story.
Oh, Daddy, Donald
and I were just saying...
Oh. Well... Fine.
Just a minute, Daddy.
He wants me to
tell him the story.
He says he'll hang on.
Daddy?
Yeah, well, it all starts in
this little mountain village
in Austria during
the summer of 1956.
All right. Everybody
settle down, please.
Give me a bell.
All right now, dear.
Hold the soap
up a little higher.
That's it. Good girl.
All right. Roll 'em.
Now zoom in for the close shot.
Do you want me to smile?
Sure, go ahead if you
want. It doesn't matter.
Uh-huh. Cut!
Print it!
Cut! Beautiful, sweetheart.
All right. Now
reach for the towel.
That's the idea. Now
turn around slowly.
This time we want
to see your face.
Ahh... cut! Perfect.
All right, fellas.
That's a wrap-up.
Thank you very much.
Miss Marie, I'd like to see you
in my office after you wash up.
Wash up?
Come in.
Yes, Mr. Hayworth?
Come in, young lady. Come in.
You did a great
job. A great job.
Oh, thank you.
Don't mention it.
We'll be doing other
things together, too.
Don't you worry about it.
And listen,
you'll be getting a regular
supply of Cream Soap
from now on in the bargain.
How about that?
That's wonderful.
I love it. Don't mention it.
What's the address again?
My address? It's 344 West 78th.
344 West 78th.
And thank you very
much, Mr. Hayworth.
Hey. Is this funny?
I live three minutes from you.
Isn't that funny?
Look, why get shoved
around on a bus for a half hour.
I'm through for the day.
Come on, I'll drive you home.
Oh, that's not necessary.
Are you kidding? Nothing's too
good for our little Creamy Girl.
After you, my dear.
What's the matter with you?
You've been mooning
and moping around all day.
Nothing can be that bad.
Just thinking about Ann.
Jerry, you have no idea...
Oh, yes, I have. She told
Ruthie what was bugging her.
You know Ruthie
tells me everything.
Ann figures, all of a sudden,
pow, she's got no sex appeal.
Yeah. How about that?
It happens to women.
You gotta understand that.
And when it happens, you gotta
make a little effort to reassure them.
You know what I mean?
Wait a minute, Jerry. I
don't think you understand.
I don't understand?
Are you kidding?
Even Ruthie every
once in a while
wants to feel like
a femme fatale.
Every once in a while,
they need a little excitement.
Wait a minute, I'm
trying to tell you...
No, no, let me tell you.
You've got to give her a
little comfort and security.
Tell her the things
she wants to hear.
Tell her that she's
alluring and seductive
and that she's driving
you out of your mind.
Jerry! Don't argue, just try it.
Don, if it makes her feel better,
what have you got to lose?
Well, thank you very much,
Mr. Hayworth, for driving me home.
That was very nice of you,
but you really didn't
have to see me to my door.
It's my pleasure.
Besides, I have
an ulterior motive.
You do?
Oh, yes. I want to see where
and how our little Creamy Girl lives.
Charming. Great taste.
Very, very attractive.
Thank you.
Every bit as attractive
as the young lady
who decorated it.
You did decorate it
yourself, didn't you?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Come on over here, sit
down and tell me all about it.
Actually, Mr. Hayworth, there
really isn't that much to tell.
I'll bet there's a lot more
to you than meets the eye.
I'm really very uncomplicated.
Uncomplicated as anything,
but you've got an undercurrent.
A very attractive undercurrent.
When you're as
well-scrubbed as I am,
there isn't much chance for
anything to settle on the surface.
You've got subtlety, Miss Marie,
and that's very exciting in
someone as attractive as you are.
Attractive? Me? Attractive?
When you sent
those other girls away,
you said that...
They were wrong because
they were so obvious.
You know what I mean?
Oh. What about my "human image"?
Great! There's nothing as
exciting as a human image
with an undercurrent and
a hunk of subtlety thrown in.
It's mysterious. You
know what I mean?
Yes. How about some
iced tea, Mr. Hayworth?
Call me Clinton.
Iced tea, Mr. Clinton?
Nothing stronger? Iced coffee?
I don't have to drink.
It's enough that I'm in
the same room with you.
You know what
you've got, Miss Marie?
Sex appeal.
Thank you, Mr. Hayworth.
I appreciate that very much.
I really do. I just wish
you'd sit down for a minute.
But I can't sit down.
I'm keyed up from shooting
commercials all day.
I've got to keep
moving. It's my nature.
Wh-What do you
keep running away for?
Mr. Hayworth, I'm trying very hard
to maintain a little poise and dignity,
but you make it very
difficult to be polite.
Why don't you relax?
Take a minute out
for some pleasure.
Mr. Hayworth, I'm afraid I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave.
Oh, now that's not fair,
and it certainly isn't human.
What does that mean?
You kindle a fire up in a man,
then you just toss him
aside like a wet match.
I'm very sorry about
that, Mr. Hayworth.
Don't apologize.
Mr. Hayworth! Don't do that!
Don't force me
to raise my voice.
Wait a minute.
Mr. Hayworth, I said no!
No, Mr. Hayworth! Will
you hold still a second?
If you don't let go I'm
gonna start screaming!
I can't let go. My
watch is caught.
Oh.
If you'll just hold still
and stop struggling...
Why didn't you say
so in the first place?
Just wait a minute.
Mr. Hayworth, please don't!
You're tearing my dress!
If you'd only stand still
instead of struggling...
Hey!
What do you think you're doing!
Oh, Donald! Wait!
Uhh!
Donald! What did
you do that for?
We were only
trying to get unloose.
You what?
Mr. Hayworth, are you all right?
Just a broken nose, that's all.
I'm very sorry.
Who sent for the mafia?
This is my boyfriend,
Donald Hollinger.
Donald, this is Mr. Hayworth,
the producer of the commercial.
This is the producer who thought you
were as wholesome as an Idaho potato?
It turns out he only
meant it professionally.
Mr. Hayworth...
I'm not getting up until I
have your word as a gentleman
that he won't hit me again.
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
Actually, there wouldn't
have been any problem
if his watch hadn't got stuck.
If you'll excuse me, I think
I've got guests for dinner.
Can you make it home
all right, Mr. Hayworth?
Don't worry about
me. I'll be fine.
Nice to have met you.
I'll let myself out.
Good-bye, Mr. Hayworth.
Thank you for the commercial.
Don't mention it.
To anybody!
Well, isn't that terrible.
How do you like the
nerve of that guy?
All that free soap
right down the drain.
What?
Well, easy come, easy go.
Oh, my dress.
Can't you have it
reknitted or rewoven?
It'll probably cost a fortune.
You ought to ask
Mr. Hayworth to pay for it.
He did it. Actually,
he didn't do it.
You did it. Me? I did not!
You did so! It was
perfectly all right.
Donald, you tore my dress!
I had no choice, the
way you were struggling.
Take your hands off
that woman... girl. Daddy.
Have you no decency?
Have you no shame?
Have you no bathrobe?
All we were doing was
pinning my dress back together.
Is that what you were doing?
Yes, sir.
Well, I-I thought I heard
loud voices in the hall,
and Ann here,
living here all alone,
a beautiful young
girl with sex appeal...
Thank you, Daddy.
See, Donald?
Even my father thinks
I've got sex appeal.
Don't raise your voice.
First thing everybody
in the building will know.
Voilá! Dinner is served.
Are you hungry? Starved.
Oh, good.
Donald...
That thing we were
talking about the other night,
when Daddy called, remember?
Uh-huh.
You never really did
answer my question.
Do you think I have... Yes.
You didn't let me
ask the question.
Do you think... Yes.
Donald. Oh, yes.
L-Let me just...
Yes, yes, honey, yes.
Oh, yes. Yes, I do.
Mm-hmm. Sí. Yes, yes...
Closed-Captioned by J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA.