That Girl (1966–1971): Season 1, Episode 20 - Gone with the Breeze - full transcript
Without telling Ann until he was finished, Donald has just completed writing his first novel. Ann is proud of his accomplishment, especially as he did it rather than just talk about it which is what most people would have done. Respecting her opinion, Donald wants Ann to read the manuscript and tell him the truth about what she thinks of it. Ann tries to be truthful when Donald asks her if she's read it and if she liked it. Instead, she tells him a bunch of little white lies in skirting around the issue that she hasn't read it since she lost the manuscript, she originally believing it was among her shopping packages, which it wasn't. She first believes she lost it on the subway (thus checking the subway's lost and found), then second believes she lost it somewhere at the store where she is working temporarily at its perfume and cosmetics counter, then third believes she inadvertently gave it to one of the store's customers. As Ann retraces her steps while trying to evade Donald who is in agony waiting for Ann's review, the manuscript makes its way into the hands of an unlikely person who knows exactly what to do with it.
Hi, Donald.
I know you're there
somewhere. I recognize the legs.
As an employee, I get a discount
on anything I buy at the store.
Isn't that terrific?
Great, but that looks like
six weeks salary right there.
Better not be. The job
only lasts two weeks.
Unless, of course,
I become Supergirl
of the Cosmetic
Department and they decide
to keep me on after the sale.
Honey. Honey, I got
another package for you.
A present?
Yeah, well, kinda.
Let me see.
Oh, Donald.
Typing paper?
Yeah, yeah, but it's used.
Used typing paper?
City of Strangers
by Donald Hollinger.
Donald, what is this?
It's a novel.
You wrote a novel?
Uh-uh.
Well, why didn't you tell me?
Well, I didn't know
whether or not I'd finish it
and I didn't want some girl
standing behind me saying,
"Why didn't you finish your novel?
Why didn't you finish your novel?"
Oh, I wouldn't have done that.
Isn't this exciting?
Well, you never told me.
When did you have
time to work on it?
Well, nights and weekends and...
Oh, Donald,
do you know that New
York is full of people who are,
who are always
talking about the play
or the novel
they're gonna write?
But you never even mentioned it.
You just went ahead and did it.
I want you to
be first to read it.
Me?
Who else?
Oh, Donald, I'm honored.
But I'll tell you what,
I'm gonna break
our date tonight.
I'm gonna stay home
and read your novel.
Okay. But there's part I
want you to read right now.
Okay.
"Every work of art is
supposedly inspired.
"I'm not sure this
is a work of art.
"But I'm sure of its
inspiration and I...
"And..."
I dedicate this book
to the laughter and loveliness
of that girl.
♪♪
Who is it? It's me, Judy.
Oh, hi, Judy. Come on in.
Hi. Hi.
I just came over to ask if, uh,
maybe you would
like to have dinner
with Leon and me tonight.
Oh, thanks, but not tonight.
I've got some very
important reading to do.
Well, you still
have to have dinner.
I know, but this is
something kinda special.
It's over there in that box.
I really can't wait
to get started on it.
Ann, how do you
read bubble bath?
Not that box,
silly, the other box.
Well, you certainly
did a lot of shopping.
Ooh, what a pretty slip.
It's a book.
I don't see a book.
It's right there.
It's right there.
In a blue box.
A blue box.
It's not here.
Oh my gosh, it's not here.
It was Don's novel.
Well, what's the panic?
Just go out and
buy him another one.
I mean he wrote it.
Don wrote this novel himself.
It's his own little novel.
Don wrote a novel?
Maybe I left it outside
when I was opening the door.
I had all those packages.
No, I would have heard it drop.
You know what I
think? Don't say it.
I think... I left it
in the subway.
That's exactly what
I was gonna say.
Hello.
Oh, oh, hi, Donald. What's new?
How do you like it so far?
Donald, I just got home.
I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I just wanted to tell you,
you have to be absolutely honest
and perfectly frank about
your reactions to the book.
I will be, I will be, I'll
be perfectly honest.
Even if you think
it might jeopardize
our relationship,
which it won't.
I want you to be honest.
No, I-I-I will be.
Just as soon as I
start reading it, I will be.
Good.
Well, I, I don't wanna
keep you from reading.
Right, I can't wait
to get my hands on it.
All right, Donald, bye.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna go to the lost
and found of the subway.
It's too late. They
close at 5:30.
Are you sure?
Positive.
I once lost Leon's
mother on the IRT
and I found out
they close at 5:30
and don't open again
until 8:00 in the morning.
Eight in the morning.
Well, I guess I better
eat and get right to bed.
It's 7:00.
I know, but the
faster I get to sleep,
the faster it will be
tomorrow morning.
♪♪
His name is Donald
Hollinger. H-O-double L-I...
H, that's all I need to know.
H.
Hawthorn, Haynes,
Hennessy, Hutman,
no Hollinger.
Well, you see, well you see,
it's not a regular book.
What do you mean?
It's a manuscript.
No, we don't have
anything here like that.
Oh, are you sure?
I mean, has everything
been turned in that was lost?
Well, I doubt it.
You see, there are a good
many things that are lost.
And when people find
them, they keep them.
There are some people,
however, that find them
and then bring them to me.
Well, what I mean
is, has everything
that the honest people might
have found been brought in yet?
Uh, well, it generally
takes about 24 hours.
Look, why don't
you try about noon?
About noon?
Okay, noon.
What if it isn't here by noon?
If it's not here by
noon, then I suggest
your boyfriend better
start typing again.
I don't think my boyfriend's
gonna think that's very funny.
Thanks a lot. You're welcome.
Uh, may I help you?
Yes, I dropped a contact lens
in the shuttle yesterday
morning during rush hour,
and I was hoping that
somebody might have turned it in.
Looking for me?
Hey, Jerry. Listen, how
did that interview go?
Oh, fine, fine. You know, I always
thought you were a smart fellow.
Thanks, but now I'm not?
Boy, did you make a mistake.
A lot of them. Which
one are you talking about?
Giving Ann your book to read.
Why was it a mistake?
Ever tell you about
my painter friend, Alex?
No.
He made the mistake
of asking his wife
what she thought of
his masterpiece. And?
Serving five to ten for
assault with a deadly weapon.
Oh. Come on. Yeah, tried
to brain her with an easel.
Jerry, I happen to
value Ann's opinion.
Good, 'cause after
you and she fight,
that's all you'll be left with.
Don't holler at a
friendly person.
♪♪
It's $3.50, 4 and 1 is 5.
I think she'll like
this very much.
It's been a popular item.
Thank you, come again.
Oh.
Ms. Marie, on a
busy day like today,
I think you could find something
to occupy yourself.
Like a customer?
Yes, Ms. Daley.
Hi, I came to take you to lunch.
Shhh.
Ms. Daley is
really out to get me.
All she had to do is find you...
And what kind of a perfume
did you have in mind, sir?
Uh, well, uh, what
do you recommend?
Well, what we try
to do is to match
the scent to the
personality of the wearer.
In that case, you'd better
have something called Terrific,
'cause that's the kind of
personality this girl's got.
Terrific.
Hello.
Yes.
Let's have lunch
at Big Beanie's.
Where? Big Beanie's.
Where is Big Beanie's? In my
book, it's a delicatessen in my book.
Oh, oh, I haven't
gotten that far yet.
It's in the second chapter.
The second
chapter, that's right.
Big Beanie's, yeah, uh-uh.
Listen, Donald, I just can't
have lunch with you today.
Why not?
Well, well, because I was
gonna read during lunch.
I just love the book, but
I haven't finished it yet.
Oh, you haven't
finished the book yet?
You say that this
perfume is for a girl?
Yes, uh, yes.
Most of the boys I know
have switched to shaving lotion.
Well, no, what I meant was
is it for a young girl
or for an older woman?
Uh, well, it's, it's for
a younger woman
or an older girl,
I'll take either.
Oh, well, here's
something just marvelous,
it's called Springtime
and it has a...
Oh, sorry, I'm so sorry.
I thought it was
the shaking out kind.
Oh, I see you were having a
little trouble selecting a perfume.
Now, can I be of some help?
Well, I was trying
to match the scent
to the personality
of the wearer.
Yes, I'm sure you
were, Ms. Marie.
Now, well, can you
tell me something
about the lady for whom
the perfume is intended?
Uh, well, yes, yes.
She's about 5'10"
and she's a member of a
ladies' roller skating team.
Oh, really, really,
that's charming.
Yeah. Ms. Marie, I know
you're anxious to go to lunch.
Oh, yes, I am very anxious.
I'll take care of
this gentleman.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Now, let's see if we can
find something for you.
You did say roller skating?
Yeah, uh, yeah.
Uh, roller skating.
I thought you were
having lunch with Ann.
It didn't work out.
Hey, who was here? No one.
Jerry, Jerry, listen, I was
just going through this carbon
on my manuscript
and I found page 147
between page 182 and 183.
Cheer up, got a
great idea. What?
Take 147 out of there.
Put it between 146 and 148.
Thanks a lot. Listen,
the important thing is this,
if it's this way in the carbon,
it may be the same way
in the original I gave Ann.
Don, if I were as nervous about
a person's reaction to my book
as you are about Ann's I'd tell
her I don't want her to read it.
And I'd also tell her who
you're fooling around with.
I'm not fooling
around with anybody.
Oh, come on, there was a...
A beautiful-smelling lady here.
Jerry, there was no lady here.
No? No.
All right, I'm forced to ask you
a direct question.
Why are you wearing perfume?
Because I went to
meet Ann at the store
and she accidentally
spilled it on me.
I'll buy that.
Lucky for us, she
doesn't pack sardines.
I have false eyelashes,
artificial fingernails
and caps on my teeth,
so why shouldn't I wear a wig?
No reason at all.
There, now I'll get you a mirror
so you can look at the back.
What's wrong? Maybe I
didn't leave it in the subway.
What?
Maybe I lost it right
here in the store.
Young woman, you don't
seem to have your heart
in my hair.
Oh, sure I do.
Here, look at the back.
Go on, take a nice look.
Now, this is especially effective
cream for... Excuse me just a minute.
I've got a customer.
Yes, I know. Did you
see a box about this big
and it had... Please,
Ann, I'm busy.
Oh, Helen, this is so important.
So is my commission.
I'll talk to you on break.
Excuse me. Oh,
that looks just terrific.
Only two people
in the whole world
will know where you leave
off and that wiglet begins.
You and me.
Is there any chance
of it falling off?
Absolutely none.
See?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Make that one person who knows
where you leave off
and the wiglet begins.
Should I try
putting it on myself?
That's a very good idea.
Now, sit right down.
Just kinda play with
it, get the feel of it.
I'll be right back.
This cream I use
myself. Excuse me.
Yes, it's great, you'll love it.
Listen, I've retraced
my steps a million times.
If I left it, I must
have left it in the store.
Not now, Ann.
If I left it in the store,
I must have lost it
in this department.
What?
Shhh, shhh, don't talk.
Concentrate, go on.
Are you the stupid girl who
waited on me the other day?
I don't believe I waited on you
before, but I'd be glad to help you now.
Well, I bought a
box of bubble bath
and a stupid salesgirl
gave me the wrong box.
Oh. Oh, that must have been me.
I'm the stupid salesgirl!
Let me see.
Oh. I'm so sorry. Ms. Daley,
I'm sorry, I'll pick them right up.
Leave them alone, Ms. Marie.
Someone will pick them up.
That's all right. I don't mind.
After all... Leave them alone.
I suppose this spoils my chance
of being kept on
after the sale is over.
This spoils your
chance of being kept on
until the sale is over.
You mean I'm fired?
As of this very moment.
Yes, Ms. Daley.
Hi, listen, I called
you at the store
but they said you
weren't there anymore.
I told them you were the
only salesgirl I'd deal with
and if you weren't there, I'd
take my business elsewhere.
I bet that shook 'em.
How do you like the book so far?
Does it stay with you?
Oh, yes, it stays with me.
In fact, I haven't thought of
anything else since I left your office.
I'll be right over. We'll
talk about it at dinner.
Well, Donald, I
really can't tonight.
You see, I promised Judy
I'd have dinner with her.
Oh, okay. I'll come
over after dinner.
Oh, well, uh, Donald, I
kind of wish you wouldn't.
You see, I'm tired.
I'd like to get to
bed early tonight.
You won't be going to bed
right after dinner, will you?
Well, no, I won't go
to bed right after, but...
Well, then I'll come over
between dinnertime and bedtime.
Okay, between
dinnertime and bedtime.
All right, Donald, see you then.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Come on in.
Hey, Don. Can you
spare a ream of paper?
Forgot to put in an
order and I ran out.
Yeah, Jerry, help yourself.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing. Nothing.
Don't nothing me, Buddy.
Mind your own business.
That's good, that's your privilege.
But you can't wear
that basset hound look
and tell me
nothing's the matter.
What happened? Somebody
steal your perfume?
Jerry, I don't think
Ann likes my novel.
I told you not
to give it to her.
I know you did, but it's
crummy of you to mention it.
Nobody likes an I told you so.
All right, what doesn't
she like about the book?
I don't know. I don't
know. That's just it.
She says she does like it.
Well, then, what makes
you think she doesn't?
Well, because it took
her so long to read it.
And besides, she's
been acting funny,
you know, evasive, uneasy.
That's just not like her.
Look at the sunny side. Maybe
the publishers'll hate it too.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
You know, as a matter of fact,
that wouldn't hurt too much.
If only Ann liked it.
That's it. That's
the problem, isn't it?
You're trying to
preserve the image
of two young lovers
against the world.
With her at your side,
you could face any defeat.
Without her, you
can enjoy no victory.
Oh.
Oh, well, now that you've
figured it out so neatly,
why don't you just
take your ream of paper
and go on and analyze
someone else's problems.
In the beginning, Sigmund
Freud had this kind of trouble too.
I just can't. It's not
nice over the phone.
It's not gonna be so
nice in person, either.
Uh, Don, I know
you're gonna think
I'm an extravagant guy,
but I only use one
side of the paper.
I never use the second side.
Jerry, look, will you be cute
some other time, please?
The paper you so generously
loaned me has already been used.
Used for what? Someone
seems to have written a novel on it.
It's my manuscript.
Yeah, I figured
you didn't want me
to type my article
on the other side.
This is the original. This
is the copy I gave Ann.
That's the copy you
thought you gave Ann.
You probably gave her a carbon.
Oh, no, no, no, the
carbon is right here.
Look.
Here's the carbon.
Ann doesn't have
any copy of my novel.
Ann never read my novel.
Ann, the only thing
to do is the minute
he comes through that door,
you tell him the truth.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
He'll say, "Hi, Ann."
And I'll say, "Hi, Donald.
"By the way, I forgot
to tell you something.
"I lost your novel and I just
never got a chance to read it."
Impossible, I can't do that.
Well, the longer you wait,
the harder it's gonna be.
The newsstand! That's it!
I stopped on my way home
and bought a magazine.
That's it. That's it. Ann,
where are you going?
I'm gonna go to the newsstand.
I'll bet you I left the
manuscript there and forgot...
Ann, Don'll be here any second.
Make up something.
You're real clever.
Hi, Ann. Hello, Judy.
Hi, Don.
I just remembered
I have to go and...
feed the baby.
At this hour? Isn't
he asleep by now?
I'll wake him.
Goodbye, Ann.
Bye, Judy.
Well, for you.
Oh, that's... thank you,
Donald, that's real nice.
It's not my birthday
or anything.
That's really nice
of you, Donald.
My... I mean, a present.
Well...
I see Ms. Daley made a sale.
Yep. Well, how did you like it?
It's marvelous, Donald. I
just love it. It's just so nice.
What part did you like best?
Oh, I thought you were
talking about the perfume.
Oh, you were talking
about the perfume
and I was talking
about the book.
Yeah, yes.
Well, now, let's forget
about the perfume
and concentrate on the book.
Well, all right, but
I'll tell you what,
why don't we have
something to eat?
I'll go into the kitchen
and fix a chocolate cake.
I'll just slice some up.
I'll just run and slice...
Honey, honey, I'm not hungry.
Oh, I know what's good for that.
You need to work up
an appetite. We'll dance.
I'll put on some music
and we'll dance around.
Honey, honey, I
don't want to dance.
I wanna talk about the book.
You have read it, haven't you?
Oh, sure, of
course I've read it.
Well, well, now,
were you relieved
when Jan and Michael
got back together again?
Oh, was I ever. I just can't
stand to see a lovely affair like that
end over a little
teeny thing like...
Uh-uh.
Jan ran over Michael's brother.
He was in the
hospital for six months.
I'd hardly call that
a little teeny thing.
Well, it was an accident.
Uh-uh.
Well, now, how about the part
where Rosemary was
accepted by that group?
Oh, Donald, that was wonderful.
I can't tell you how
happy I was she got in.
The Nazi party?
Now, that's a pretty
contemptible group.
Well, uh, she wasn't quite sure
just what kind of a group it
was, you know, right away there.
Well, I think she
was pretty sure,
but I'm beginning
to wonder about you.
Oh, Donald, you don't
have to wonder about me.
Well, I think I have to.
Your reactions are so strange.
Well, you see, Donald,
there's something
I have to tell you.
Well, I'm not so
sure I wanna hear it.
Well, uh, it's about your book.
Well, actually, it's about me.
Well, uh, really,
it's about me and your book.
You see, um, I, uh,
well you see, um, Donald...
Honey, honey, you seem to be
having a little difficulty finding words.
Yes, I am, Donald.
I really am having a little
difficulty finding words.
I'm having a little difficulty
finding everything,
including your book.
That's what I've
been trying to tell you.
I lost it.
I know.
No, I mean your book, Donald.
I lost your book.
Yes, I know.
I know because I found it.
You found it?
Oh, Donald, that's a miracle!
Where did you find it? I
know, the magazine stand.
The subway? I told you
the bank. I can't believe it.
I looked everywhere
and you found it!
It never left the office.
You see, you forgot
to take it with you.
It never left your office?
No, no, that's right.
Oh, Donald, I
have been so upset.
I have just looked everywhere.
I mean, I've just
driven myself crazy.
All I could think of was that you
had your whole heart and soul
into that little piece of paper and
I was so worried that, oh Don...
Alright, alright,
alright, honey.
Honey, shh, honey.
Donald Hollinger,
you mean to tell me
that you knew all along
that you hadn't lost that novel?
Honey, I just found out
about it this afternoon.
Oh.
Well.
Oh, well, now I can
read it and you'll see
what a really fast reader I am.
No, honey, no, please, no, no.
Donald, please, I
promise I won't lose it.
Honey, I know that, but I just don't
wanna go through that suffering again.
What suffering?
I'm the one who suffered.
I thought I lost it.
Yeah, I know that, but I
suffered thinking you didn't like it.
Oh, Donald, don't be silly.
I'll love it.
Yeah, but suppose you hate it?
How could I hate it?
You're in here.
Yeah, I know that, I know that,
but somehow I
think you'll find a way.
And somehow, I think
you just don't value
my literary criticism.
Honey, look, you are
many things to me,
but a literary critic
isn't one of them.
Mm hm.
Mm hm.
You see, honey,
you see, you don't find
very many literary critics
who are pretty and
sweet, and tender,
and bright, and sparkling.
You don't find many
writers who know
how to win an
argument so good, either.
You know, you
know, I always heard
publishers were dumb.
But I never believed they
were this dumb. Look at that.
Oh, Donald, it's only
one little rejection slip.
You didn't expect
your first story
to be grabbed up by the first
publisher who read it, did you?
Of course not,
honey, of course not.
But I did expect the criticism
to make some kind of sense.
But just stop
letting it bother you.
There's gonna be
a lot more criticisms
and a lot more rejections.
You really think so?
Sure.
Hemingway had a
trunk full of rejection slips
before his first
story was published.
And he did all right.
Yeah, he wasn't bad.
Darn right.
Come on, you promised
to take me to lunch.
All right, let's go.
Annie, honey, I've
changed my mind.
I would like you
to read my book.
Donald, I've
changed my mind too.
I don't wanna read it.
Not till after it's
been published.
Let's go to lunch.
I know you're there
somewhere. I recognize the legs.
As an employee, I get a discount
on anything I buy at the store.
Isn't that terrific?
Great, but that looks like
six weeks salary right there.
Better not be. The job
only lasts two weeks.
Unless, of course,
I become Supergirl
of the Cosmetic
Department and they decide
to keep me on after the sale.
Honey. Honey, I got
another package for you.
A present?
Yeah, well, kinda.
Let me see.
Oh, Donald.
Typing paper?
Yeah, yeah, but it's used.
Used typing paper?
City of Strangers
by Donald Hollinger.
Donald, what is this?
It's a novel.
You wrote a novel?
Uh-uh.
Well, why didn't you tell me?
Well, I didn't know
whether or not I'd finish it
and I didn't want some girl
standing behind me saying,
"Why didn't you finish your novel?
Why didn't you finish your novel?"
Oh, I wouldn't have done that.
Isn't this exciting?
Well, you never told me.
When did you have
time to work on it?
Well, nights and weekends and...
Oh, Donald,
do you know that New
York is full of people who are,
who are always
talking about the play
or the novel
they're gonna write?
But you never even mentioned it.
You just went ahead and did it.
I want you to
be first to read it.
Me?
Who else?
Oh, Donald, I'm honored.
But I'll tell you what,
I'm gonna break
our date tonight.
I'm gonna stay home
and read your novel.
Okay. But there's part I
want you to read right now.
Okay.
"Every work of art is
supposedly inspired.
"I'm not sure this
is a work of art.
"But I'm sure of its
inspiration and I...
"And..."
I dedicate this book
to the laughter and loveliness
of that girl.
♪♪
Who is it? It's me, Judy.
Oh, hi, Judy. Come on in.
Hi. Hi.
I just came over to ask if, uh,
maybe you would
like to have dinner
with Leon and me tonight.
Oh, thanks, but not tonight.
I've got some very
important reading to do.
Well, you still
have to have dinner.
I know, but this is
something kinda special.
It's over there in that box.
I really can't wait
to get started on it.
Ann, how do you
read bubble bath?
Not that box,
silly, the other box.
Well, you certainly
did a lot of shopping.
Ooh, what a pretty slip.
It's a book.
I don't see a book.
It's right there.
It's right there.
In a blue box.
A blue box.
It's not here.
Oh my gosh, it's not here.
It was Don's novel.
Well, what's the panic?
Just go out and
buy him another one.
I mean he wrote it.
Don wrote this novel himself.
It's his own little novel.
Don wrote a novel?
Maybe I left it outside
when I was opening the door.
I had all those packages.
No, I would have heard it drop.
You know what I
think? Don't say it.
I think... I left it
in the subway.
That's exactly what
I was gonna say.
Hello.
Oh, oh, hi, Donald. What's new?
How do you like it so far?
Donald, I just got home.
I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I just wanted to tell you,
you have to be absolutely honest
and perfectly frank about
your reactions to the book.
I will be, I will be, I'll
be perfectly honest.
Even if you think
it might jeopardize
our relationship,
which it won't.
I want you to be honest.
No, I-I-I will be.
Just as soon as I
start reading it, I will be.
Good.
Well, I, I don't wanna
keep you from reading.
Right, I can't wait
to get my hands on it.
All right, Donald, bye.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna go to the lost
and found of the subway.
It's too late. They
close at 5:30.
Are you sure?
Positive.
I once lost Leon's
mother on the IRT
and I found out
they close at 5:30
and don't open again
until 8:00 in the morning.
Eight in the morning.
Well, I guess I better
eat and get right to bed.
It's 7:00.
I know, but the
faster I get to sleep,
the faster it will be
tomorrow morning.
♪♪
His name is Donald
Hollinger. H-O-double L-I...
H, that's all I need to know.
H.
Hawthorn, Haynes,
Hennessy, Hutman,
no Hollinger.
Well, you see, well you see,
it's not a regular book.
What do you mean?
It's a manuscript.
No, we don't have
anything here like that.
Oh, are you sure?
I mean, has everything
been turned in that was lost?
Well, I doubt it.
You see, there are a good
many things that are lost.
And when people find
them, they keep them.
There are some people,
however, that find them
and then bring them to me.
Well, what I mean
is, has everything
that the honest people might
have found been brought in yet?
Uh, well, it generally
takes about 24 hours.
Look, why don't
you try about noon?
About noon?
Okay, noon.
What if it isn't here by noon?
If it's not here by
noon, then I suggest
your boyfriend better
start typing again.
I don't think my boyfriend's
gonna think that's very funny.
Thanks a lot. You're welcome.
Uh, may I help you?
Yes, I dropped a contact lens
in the shuttle yesterday
morning during rush hour,
and I was hoping that
somebody might have turned it in.
Looking for me?
Hey, Jerry. Listen, how
did that interview go?
Oh, fine, fine. You know, I always
thought you were a smart fellow.
Thanks, but now I'm not?
Boy, did you make a mistake.
A lot of them. Which
one are you talking about?
Giving Ann your book to read.
Why was it a mistake?
Ever tell you about
my painter friend, Alex?
No.
He made the mistake
of asking his wife
what she thought of
his masterpiece. And?
Serving five to ten for
assault with a deadly weapon.
Oh. Come on. Yeah, tried
to brain her with an easel.
Jerry, I happen to
value Ann's opinion.
Good, 'cause after
you and she fight,
that's all you'll be left with.
Don't holler at a
friendly person.
♪♪
It's $3.50, 4 and 1 is 5.
I think she'll like
this very much.
It's been a popular item.
Thank you, come again.
Oh.
Ms. Marie, on a
busy day like today,
I think you could find something
to occupy yourself.
Like a customer?
Yes, Ms. Daley.
Hi, I came to take you to lunch.
Shhh.
Ms. Daley is
really out to get me.
All she had to do is find you...
And what kind of a perfume
did you have in mind, sir?
Uh, well, uh, what
do you recommend?
Well, what we try
to do is to match
the scent to the
personality of the wearer.
In that case, you'd better
have something called Terrific,
'cause that's the kind of
personality this girl's got.
Terrific.
Hello.
Yes.
Let's have lunch
at Big Beanie's.
Where? Big Beanie's.
Where is Big Beanie's? In my
book, it's a delicatessen in my book.
Oh, oh, I haven't
gotten that far yet.
It's in the second chapter.
The second
chapter, that's right.
Big Beanie's, yeah, uh-uh.
Listen, Donald, I just can't
have lunch with you today.
Why not?
Well, well, because I was
gonna read during lunch.
I just love the book, but
I haven't finished it yet.
Oh, you haven't
finished the book yet?
You say that this
perfume is for a girl?
Yes, uh, yes.
Most of the boys I know
have switched to shaving lotion.
Well, no, what I meant was
is it for a young girl
or for an older woman?
Uh, well, it's, it's for
a younger woman
or an older girl,
I'll take either.
Oh, well, here's
something just marvelous,
it's called Springtime
and it has a...
Oh, sorry, I'm so sorry.
I thought it was
the shaking out kind.
Oh, I see you were having a
little trouble selecting a perfume.
Now, can I be of some help?
Well, I was trying
to match the scent
to the personality
of the wearer.
Yes, I'm sure you
were, Ms. Marie.
Now, well, can you
tell me something
about the lady for whom
the perfume is intended?
Uh, well, yes, yes.
She's about 5'10"
and she's a member of a
ladies' roller skating team.
Oh, really, really,
that's charming.
Yeah. Ms. Marie, I know
you're anxious to go to lunch.
Oh, yes, I am very anxious.
I'll take care of
this gentleman.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Now, let's see if we can
find something for you.
You did say roller skating?
Yeah, uh, yeah.
Uh, roller skating.
I thought you were
having lunch with Ann.
It didn't work out.
Hey, who was here? No one.
Jerry, Jerry, listen, I was
just going through this carbon
on my manuscript
and I found page 147
between page 182 and 183.
Cheer up, got a
great idea. What?
Take 147 out of there.
Put it between 146 and 148.
Thanks a lot. Listen,
the important thing is this,
if it's this way in the carbon,
it may be the same way
in the original I gave Ann.
Don, if I were as nervous about
a person's reaction to my book
as you are about Ann's I'd tell
her I don't want her to read it.
And I'd also tell her who
you're fooling around with.
I'm not fooling
around with anybody.
Oh, come on, there was a...
A beautiful-smelling lady here.
Jerry, there was no lady here.
No? No.
All right, I'm forced to ask you
a direct question.
Why are you wearing perfume?
Because I went to
meet Ann at the store
and she accidentally
spilled it on me.
I'll buy that.
Lucky for us, she
doesn't pack sardines.
I have false eyelashes,
artificial fingernails
and caps on my teeth,
so why shouldn't I wear a wig?
No reason at all.
There, now I'll get you a mirror
so you can look at the back.
What's wrong? Maybe I
didn't leave it in the subway.
What?
Maybe I lost it right
here in the store.
Young woman, you don't
seem to have your heart
in my hair.
Oh, sure I do.
Here, look at the back.
Go on, take a nice look.
Now, this is especially effective
cream for... Excuse me just a minute.
I've got a customer.
Yes, I know. Did you
see a box about this big
and it had... Please,
Ann, I'm busy.
Oh, Helen, this is so important.
So is my commission.
I'll talk to you on break.
Excuse me. Oh,
that looks just terrific.
Only two people
in the whole world
will know where you leave
off and that wiglet begins.
You and me.
Is there any chance
of it falling off?
Absolutely none.
See?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Make that one person who knows
where you leave off
and the wiglet begins.
Should I try
putting it on myself?
That's a very good idea.
Now, sit right down.
Just kinda play with
it, get the feel of it.
I'll be right back.
This cream I use
myself. Excuse me.
Yes, it's great, you'll love it.
Listen, I've retraced
my steps a million times.
If I left it, I must
have left it in the store.
Not now, Ann.
If I left it in the store,
I must have lost it
in this department.
What?
Shhh, shhh, don't talk.
Concentrate, go on.
Are you the stupid girl who
waited on me the other day?
I don't believe I waited on you
before, but I'd be glad to help you now.
Well, I bought a
box of bubble bath
and a stupid salesgirl
gave me the wrong box.
Oh. Oh, that must have been me.
I'm the stupid salesgirl!
Let me see.
Oh. I'm so sorry. Ms. Daley,
I'm sorry, I'll pick them right up.
Leave them alone, Ms. Marie.
Someone will pick them up.
That's all right. I don't mind.
After all... Leave them alone.
I suppose this spoils my chance
of being kept on
after the sale is over.
This spoils your
chance of being kept on
until the sale is over.
You mean I'm fired?
As of this very moment.
Yes, Ms. Daley.
Hi, listen, I called
you at the store
but they said you
weren't there anymore.
I told them you were the
only salesgirl I'd deal with
and if you weren't there, I'd
take my business elsewhere.
I bet that shook 'em.
How do you like the book so far?
Does it stay with you?
Oh, yes, it stays with me.
In fact, I haven't thought of
anything else since I left your office.
I'll be right over. We'll
talk about it at dinner.
Well, Donald, I
really can't tonight.
You see, I promised Judy
I'd have dinner with her.
Oh, okay. I'll come
over after dinner.
Oh, well, uh, Donald, I
kind of wish you wouldn't.
You see, I'm tired.
I'd like to get to
bed early tonight.
You won't be going to bed
right after dinner, will you?
Well, no, I won't go
to bed right after, but...
Well, then I'll come over
between dinnertime and bedtime.
Okay, between
dinnertime and bedtime.
All right, Donald, see you then.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Come on in.
Hey, Don. Can you
spare a ream of paper?
Forgot to put in an
order and I ran out.
Yeah, Jerry, help yourself.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing. Nothing.
Don't nothing me, Buddy.
Mind your own business.
That's good, that's your privilege.
But you can't wear
that basset hound look
and tell me
nothing's the matter.
What happened? Somebody
steal your perfume?
Jerry, I don't think
Ann likes my novel.
I told you not
to give it to her.
I know you did, but it's
crummy of you to mention it.
Nobody likes an I told you so.
All right, what doesn't
she like about the book?
I don't know. I don't
know. That's just it.
She says she does like it.
Well, then, what makes
you think she doesn't?
Well, because it took
her so long to read it.
And besides, she's
been acting funny,
you know, evasive, uneasy.
That's just not like her.
Look at the sunny side. Maybe
the publishers'll hate it too.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
You know, as a matter of fact,
that wouldn't hurt too much.
If only Ann liked it.
That's it. That's
the problem, isn't it?
You're trying to
preserve the image
of two young lovers
against the world.
With her at your side,
you could face any defeat.
Without her, you
can enjoy no victory.
Oh.
Oh, well, now that you've
figured it out so neatly,
why don't you just
take your ream of paper
and go on and analyze
someone else's problems.
In the beginning, Sigmund
Freud had this kind of trouble too.
I just can't. It's not
nice over the phone.
It's not gonna be so
nice in person, either.
Uh, Don, I know
you're gonna think
I'm an extravagant guy,
but I only use one
side of the paper.
I never use the second side.
Jerry, look, will you be cute
some other time, please?
The paper you so generously
loaned me has already been used.
Used for what? Someone
seems to have written a novel on it.
It's my manuscript.
Yeah, I figured
you didn't want me
to type my article
on the other side.
This is the original. This
is the copy I gave Ann.
That's the copy you
thought you gave Ann.
You probably gave her a carbon.
Oh, no, no, no, the
carbon is right here.
Look.
Here's the carbon.
Ann doesn't have
any copy of my novel.
Ann never read my novel.
Ann, the only thing
to do is the minute
he comes through that door,
you tell him the truth.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
He'll say, "Hi, Ann."
And I'll say, "Hi, Donald.
"By the way, I forgot
to tell you something.
"I lost your novel and I just
never got a chance to read it."
Impossible, I can't do that.
Well, the longer you wait,
the harder it's gonna be.
The newsstand! That's it!
I stopped on my way home
and bought a magazine.
That's it. That's it. Ann,
where are you going?
I'm gonna go to the newsstand.
I'll bet you I left the
manuscript there and forgot...
Ann, Don'll be here any second.
Make up something.
You're real clever.
Hi, Ann. Hello, Judy.
Hi, Don.
I just remembered
I have to go and...
feed the baby.
At this hour? Isn't
he asleep by now?
I'll wake him.
Goodbye, Ann.
Bye, Judy.
Well, for you.
Oh, that's... thank you,
Donald, that's real nice.
It's not my birthday
or anything.
That's really nice
of you, Donald.
My... I mean, a present.
Well...
I see Ms. Daley made a sale.
Yep. Well, how did you like it?
It's marvelous, Donald. I
just love it. It's just so nice.
What part did you like best?
Oh, I thought you were
talking about the perfume.
Oh, you were talking
about the perfume
and I was talking
about the book.
Yeah, yes.
Well, now, let's forget
about the perfume
and concentrate on the book.
Well, all right, but
I'll tell you what,
why don't we have
something to eat?
I'll go into the kitchen
and fix a chocolate cake.
I'll just slice some up.
I'll just run and slice...
Honey, honey, I'm not hungry.
Oh, I know what's good for that.
You need to work up
an appetite. We'll dance.
I'll put on some music
and we'll dance around.
Honey, honey, I
don't want to dance.
I wanna talk about the book.
You have read it, haven't you?
Oh, sure, of
course I've read it.
Well, well, now,
were you relieved
when Jan and Michael
got back together again?
Oh, was I ever. I just can't
stand to see a lovely affair like that
end over a little
teeny thing like...
Uh-uh.
Jan ran over Michael's brother.
He was in the
hospital for six months.
I'd hardly call that
a little teeny thing.
Well, it was an accident.
Uh-uh.
Well, now, how about the part
where Rosemary was
accepted by that group?
Oh, Donald, that was wonderful.
I can't tell you how
happy I was she got in.
The Nazi party?
Now, that's a pretty
contemptible group.
Well, uh, she wasn't quite sure
just what kind of a group it
was, you know, right away there.
Well, I think she
was pretty sure,
but I'm beginning
to wonder about you.
Oh, Donald, you don't
have to wonder about me.
Well, I think I have to.
Your reactions are so strange.
Well, you see, Donald,
there's something
I have to tell you.
Well, I'm not so
sure I wanna hear it.
Well, uh, it's about your book.
Well, actually, it's about me.
Well, uh, really,
it's about me and your book.
You see, um, I, uh,
well you see, um, Donald...
Honey, honey, you seem to be
having a little difficulty finding words.
Yes, I am, Donald.
I really am having a little
difficulty finding words.
I'm having a little difficulty
finding everything,
including your book.
That's what I've
been trying to tell you.
I lost it.
I know.
No, I mean your book, Donald.
I lost your book.
Yes, I know.
I know because I found it.
You found it?
Oh, Donald, that's a miracle!
Where did you find it? I
know, the magazine stand.
The subway? I told you
the bank. I can't believe it.
I looked everywhere
and you found it!
It never left the office.
You see, you forgot
to take it with you.
It never left your office?
No, no, that's right.
Oh, Donald, I
have been so upset.
I have just looked everywhere.
I mean, I've just
driven myself crazy.
All I could think of was that you
had your whole heart and soul
into that little piece of paper and
I was so worried that, oh Don...
Alright, alright,
alright, honey.
Honey, shh, honey.
Donald Hollinger,
you mean to tell me
that you knew all along
that you hadn't lost that novel?
Honey, I just found out
about it this afternoon.
Oh.
Well.
Oh, well, now I can
read it and you'll see
what a really fast reader I am.
No, honey, no, please, no, no.
Donald, please, I
promise I won't lose it.
Honey, I know that, but I just don't
wanna go through that suffering again.
What suffering?
I'm the one who suffered.
I thought I lost it.
Yeah, I know that, but I
suffered thinking you didn't like it.
Oh, Donald, don't be silly.
I'll love it.
Yeah, but suppose you hate it?
How could I hate it?
You're in here.
Yeah, I know that, I know that,
but somehow I
think you'll find a way.
And somehow, I think
you just don't value
my literary criticism.
Honey, look, you are
many things to me,
but a literary critic
isn't one of them.
Mm hm.
Mm hm.
You see, honey,
you see, you don't find
very many literary critics
who are pretty and
sweet, and tender,
and bright, and sparkling.
You don't find many
writers who know
how to win an
argument so good, either.
You know, you
know, I always heard
publishers were dumb.
But I never believed they
were this dumb. Look at that.
Oh, Donald, it's only
one little rejection slip.
You didn't expect
your first story
to be grabbed up by the first
publisher who read it, did you?
Of course not,
honey, of course not.
But I did expect the criticism
to make some kind of sense.
But just stop
letting it bother you.
There's gonna be
a lot more criticisms
and a lot more rejections.
You really think so?
Sure.
Hemingway had a
trunk full of rejection slips
before his first
story was published.
And he did all right.
Yeah, he wasn't bad.
Darn right.
Come on, you promised
to take me to lunch.
All right, let's go.
Annie, honey, I've
changed my mind.
I would like you
to read my book.
Donald, I've
changed my mind too.
I don't wanna read it.
Not till after it's
been published.
Let's go to lunch.