That Girl (1966–1971): Season 1, Episode 19 - Kimono My House - full transcript

Okay, coming.

Hi, honey. Hi, Donald.

I'll be ready in just
a minute. Okay.

Thanks for meeting
me here, honey.

We have just about enough
time to get to the play.

Hmm... Now, where are my shoes?

Oh, here's one.

Oh.

Thanks, honey.

I wonder where the other one is.

Donald, is your apartment
always like this? Like what?



I really can't say because I've
never seen anything quite like it.

Oh, come on, honey, it's
just a little disorganized.

So is the city dump.

Honey, I give this apartment a
thorough cleaning every week.

Hey, I've been looking for this.

How did an egg beater
get under your couch?

I'm not sure.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember.

I was starting to make an
omelet when my brother called.

And while I was talking, one of
my eggs rolled under the couch.

When I crawled under to get it,

I must have dropped
the egg beater.

Oh, then how did
you make the omelet?

I didn't have to. The call
was an invitation to dinner.



Donald, do you
know what you need?

Yup, a new egg beater.

No, a maid.

A maid? I don't need a maid.

How about two men with shovels?

I keep this
apartment very clean.

Donald, this
apartment is a mess.

True, true. But it's
a very clean mess.

It wouldn't be a mess
it all if you had a maid.

She'd put everything
in its proper place.

Yeah, well I don't have time to
put everything in the proper place,

I certainly don't have time to go
out and find a good cleaning girl.

You don't have to
worry about that.

I can get you a girl.

Oh, you're gonna get me a girl?

What would my other girl say?

What other girl?

That girl.

That Girl ♪♪

Hello.

Oh, hi, honey. Hi.

You busy? Yes, very busy.

Oh. Well, I just
dropped by to tell you

how much I enjoyed
the play last night.

Well, I'm glad you liked
it. I had a good time, too.

I mean, I really enjoyed it.

Yes, honey, you said that.

You know, Donald, there's
another reason why I dropped by.

Yeah, I figured.

Do you remember last
night, we were talking about

how much you needed a maid?

You were talking about a maid.
Well, haven't you even thought about it?

Honey, I haven't had time
to think about it. I'm too busy.

You see, Donald, that's
just why you need a maid.

A busy man like you doesn't have time
to worry about cleaning his apartment.

I don't worry about cleaning
my apartment. I know. I've seen it.

I didn't know it was
dirty until you told me.

I don't need a maid. I don't want a maid,
I wouldn't know what to do with a maid.

You make a mess, she
cleans it up. A perfect team.

Honey, honey,
look, I promise you,

I will think about
getting a maid, but later.

Right now, I have to think
about getting a great feature story.

I've saved you the trouble.

Look what I have right here.

You brought me a
great feature story?

No, I brought you a great
contract for your new maid.

Ann. Ann, you went out and
got me a maid behind my back?

I did not.

All I did was get
the information.

You make the final decision.

I've made my decision.

Oh, Donald.

It's only for a weekly trial.

What have you got to lose?

All my silverware.

I went to a very
reputable agency.

Honey, why is it so important
to you that I have a maid?

Because, I just
don't like the idea of

my boyfriend living in squalor.

Besides, I put down a deposit.

I thought all you did
was get the information?

Well, Donald, you don't
get something for nothing.

So, you put a deposit
down on a maid

I said I didn't want
in the first place?

Well, only because... I knew you'd
change your mind in the second place.

And also because you knew I'd
probably be too busy to argue with you.

All right, all right.

I'll do it if it'll
make you happy.

Very happy 'cause I already
arranged for her to start on Saturday.

Okay. All right.

Uh, uh, hello.

Hello.

Are you Mr. Hollinger?

Orange... oh, Hollinger.

Yes, yes, I'm Don Hollinger.

I am Miko Yamagata.

Hello.

May I come in?

Come in?

Uh, yeah, I guess so.

Ooh, you have
very nice apartment.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Where is kitchen?

It's, uh, the, uh, the
kitchen's right there.

Why do you wanna know that?

Oh, I cook also.

Also?

Agency not tell you?

Agency?

Oh. Oh, you can't be the maid?

Yes, I can.

Ms. Marie sent you?

You not like me?

Oh, yes, yes. Yes,
I like you just fine.

You're just fine.

Uh, well, g-gee, I'm sorry
the place is in such a mess.

Uh, look, why don't you
just sit down right here,

and I'll clean up a little bit?

No, you sit, I clean.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Here, that's much
too heavy for you.

Look, why don't you come
over here and sit down?

Here. Why don't you
just come over and rest?

Here, just sit right down there.

You must have had a long trip.

Oh, oh, wait, wait.
No, I'll, I'll get it.

I'll answer. You just sit.

Just sit right down
there. Go ahead and rest.

Hello? Oh, hi, Ann.

Yeah, yeah,
she's here all right.

Honey, she's just
great. Great, yes.

Ann, you were right. I
really do need a maid.

Yeah, already I can
see the difference.

Uh-huh.

Yup, yeah, you made
an excellent choice.

And she can cook,
too. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, hey, listen, why don't
you come to dinner tonight?

Wait, wait a minute.
Just a minute.

Is that all right with you
if she comes to dinner?

Fine, fine. It's
fine, fine. Uh huh.

Uh, well, look, honey, I
really can't talk right now.

I, uh, I, uh, I have
to shave. Yeah.

♪♪

I'll get it.

Come in, Madam.

Thank you.

Oh, Donald, I didn't
know you had carpet.

The place looks
pretty good, doesn't it?

It looks absolutely marvelous.

You know, it looks like
an entirely new apartment.

Honey, that maid you got for me,

well, she's just
a terrific worker.

See, I knew you'd be pleased.

Who's that? That's Miko.

Who's Miko? The maid.

My maid? No, my maid.

I did that?

Didn't you hire her?

Well, I hired her,
but I didn't see her.

Never thought a little deposit
would lead to such a lovely servant.

Donald, I am not worried
about the way she looks.

I'm, I'm just worried
that she might not be

strong enough for all this work.

Oh, honey, are you kidding?

She's a dynamo.
Look at this place.

Dinner is ready.

Uh, Miko, Miko,
uh, this is Ms. Marie.

How do you do, Miko?

You certainly did a wonderful
job on the apartment.

Oh, thank you.

But Mr. Hollinger
do most of work.

Well, I just thought
I'd help her out.

Donald, she's
supposed to help you out.

Well, I-I felt sorry for her.

I mean, she came all the way over
here, lugging those heavy suitcases and...

Suitcases?

Yeah, and the place was all
cluttered up and I thought...

Donald, why did
she have suitcases?

Well, the, the suitcases were...

I don't know. Why did
she have suitcases?

Uh, Miko, would you
come in here a second?

You like more shrimp?

Uh, no, no, thank you.

Uh, what I would like to know
is, what are your suitcases for?

Clothes.

Oh, uh, I knew there
was an explanation.

Where are you going
with your suitcases?

Nowhere.

Nowhere?

I am already here
where I am going.

You're gonna stay here?

Of course.

I live-in servant.

Donald, I didn't
hire a live-in servant.

All right, all right. Wait, wait,
wait, Just, just one minute.

Ann, you hired
a live-in servant.

He's right. I get more shrimps.

It's all explained right
here in the contract.

Didn't you even
read the contract?

You didn't read it, either.

Well, I guess I should have
read it before I signed it.

Terrific. You've got
a live-in servant, and

I'm allergic to shrimp.
What do we do now?

Well, I signed it.

So, I guess I just have to
pay her a week's wages.

And I'll call the employment
agency first thing in the morning

and tell them it
was all a mistake.

Tomorrow is Sunday.

So, I'll call them on Monday.

Oh, where is she
gonna stay till Monday?

Well, she can stay in, uh...

In, uh... In a hotel?

No, Donald, that's
not necessary.

After all, we're
all mature adults.

Right, right. She
can use my bedroom,

and I'll sleep on the couch.

Well, my couch
is so much softer.

I'm gonna sleep on your couch?

No, she's gonna
sleep on my couch.

I'm not that mature.

Oh, those are very
pretty pajamas.

Thank you. I make myself.

You make yours?

Oh, no, I don't know how to sew.

Well, I made up
the couch for you.

Oh, couch much too soft.

I bring my own bed.

Did you make that, too?

No, I buy this. Oh.

But I make suitcase.

Oh, that's very creative of you.

What else can you do?

Oh, anything you like.

You want me to bake
pie? Knit sweater?

I also took class in interior
decorating but had to drop out.

Oh, really? Why?

That was year I was
runner-up for Miss Japan.

Oh.

Well, sure, you wouldn't
have had the time to...

You're very nice to let me stay here
when Mr. Hollinger not have enough room.

Oh, I was happy to do it.

I set alarm for 6:00,

so I can go make
Mr. Hollinger nice breakfast.

Oh, Miko, you don't have to
work for Mr. Hollinger tomorrow.

Yes, I do.

My day-off not until Tuesday.

Uh, Miko, I don't
think you understand.

You see, it is impossible for
you to stay on with Mr. Hollinger.

I understand.

That is why I work for
Mr. Hollinger but I stay here.

What he like for breakfast?

All right, all right.

You can go over there tomorrow.

Maybe Mr. Hollinger
can explain it better.

While you're making breakfast, and
knitting a sweater and baking a pie.

I think I better go, too.

Okay, okay.

Good morning,
Mr. Hollinger. I make coffee.

What's she doing here? She's
here to make your breakfast.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to help you explain to
her that she's no longer your maid.

We already
explained that to her.

Well, she didn't
understand, Donald.

You know what they say,
east is east and west is west.

And I'm here to see
that the twain don't meet.

Oh, honey, look, she's just, she's
just a very sweet, nice little girl.

She's just a very
sweet, nice little girl,

who happens to be
runner-up for Miss Japan.

No kidding.

I'd like to see the winner.

Donald, you've
got to talk to her.

Oh, honey, can I just keep her long
enough to show her off to my friends?

What about my friends?

Well, they can see her, too.

Donald, this isn't funny.

We've got to
straighten this thing out.

All right, honey, all right. Now,
don't you worry. I'll talk to her.

Okay.

Now, I don't want you
to hurt her feelings.

But just make it very clear

that she's no longer
working for you.

There is nothing in ice
box but leftover shrimp.

Okay, okay, that's all right.

We'll just have
coffee, thank you.

All right.

Then you not mind if I
write letter to George?

George? I not tell you?

George come from
Japan this Saturday.

Get married.

Oh! Oh, isn't that nice.
Donald, isn't that nice?

George is coming from Japan
on this Saturday to get married.

He'd be so happy to
know I have good job.

If I not have job, I
must go back to Japan.

Well, Miko, Miko, about the job,

uh, what I'd like to say...

Is that he's got a lot of
work for you to do this week.

That's fine.

I like working here.

I go get coffee now.

Thank you, Miko.

I thought you were gonna
straighten this thing out?

Well, Donald, it
is straightened out.

I mean, since you've
got to pay her anyway,

we might as well let her
stay on the rest of the week.

But, honey, you were the one
that wanted to get rid of her.

I was being childish.

After all, she can cook, and
she can bake, and she can sew.

And she's getting married
to George on Saturday.

Miko, you've been ironing
Mr. Hollinger's shirts for hours.

Why don't you sit
down for a while?

I only have one more to
iron then I darn his socks.

You really don't
have to do so much.

I like working
for Mr. Hollinger.

He's very nice.

He sure is.

As a matter of fact, when
George comes to town,

we should all go out
together for an evening.

Oh, that be very nice.

You and Mr. Hollinger, and
George and Shirry and me.

Sure, we'll go out and
go to a movie and, and...

Shirry?

Oh, Shirley.

Who's Shirley?

Shirley is girl who
George marry.

I thought George
was gonna marry you?

What's so funny?

George is my brother.

You allowed to marry
brother in United States?

Oh, oh, oh no.

I guess I just
misunderstood you.

I planning to stay with George
and Shirley but only for little while.

Oh, and then do
you have other plans?

Is only two ways I can stay
in United States permanently.

If I keep good job or if I
marry American citizen.

Oh, well, I'm sorry to
disappoint you, Miko.

But it isn't possible
for you to stay on

with Mr. Hollinger much longer.

I'm not planning to.

I use other way. Other way?

I think I found a very nice
American citizen to marry.

Hi, honey. Have a tea
cake. Miko baked them.

Oh, no, thanks. I'll just wait
till she bakes the wedding cake.

What? Donald, I've
got some news for you.

George is Miko's brother.

And you may be her husband.

What are you talking about?

George is Miko's brother.

Well, I understand that part.

Donald, Miko told me that
to stay in the United States,

she has to marry
an American citizen.

And she thinks she's
found an American citizen,

and I think the American
citizen she's found is you.

Oh, come on.

Don't "Oh, come
on." me, I'm right.

Ann, did she actually say
she wanted to marry me?

Well, she didn't actually
come out and say it.

But you should see the way she
looks when she was darning your socks.

She was darning my socks?

Oh, well, she doesn't
have to do that.

Donald, she doesn't have to do a lot
of the things she's been doing for you.

Look, Ann, Japanese girls are
brought up to cater to a man's needs.

Oh, why does this one have
to cater to my man's needs?

Well, maybe, maybe
she is in love with me.

I mean, that's certainly
understandable.

Donald, you get on the
phone this minute and call that

employment agency
and send her back.

Ann, they'll send her back
to Japan if she can't get

another job and all because
you probably misunderstood her.

Yeah, that would be terrible.

Now, look, honey, we
agreed to take care of her

until Saturday then
it's George's problem.

Okay. After all, it was
my idea in the first place.

Now, you're being reasonable.

Okay, we'll, I better
be running along.

I have to rearrange my schedule.

Rearrange your schedule?

I wanna be with her every
minute she's with you.

Domo arigato gozaimashita.

Somehow, I don't think this
is a good place for ravioli.

Honey, the poor girl
is probably homesick.

I thought it would make her
feel better if we brought her here.

I don't see why we had
to bring her anywhere.

She was perfectly happy sitting
at home, knitting your sweater.

Honey, she's your guest.

She's not my guest.
She's your maid.

Yes. She's still a stranger
from a foreign country.

I'm not working for
the State Department.

I order very special tempura.

Tempura?

Shrimp.

Your legs too long.

I help you.

Oh, that tickles.

Oh. Sure is cramped in here.

Yes, isn't it?

You like some tea now?

Yes, thank you, Miko.

Honey, watch this.

Miko does a Japanese
tea ceremony.

Oh, really.

How did you know?

She showed me yesterday.

She makes excellent tea.

Well, naturally, Donald.

Dozo.

Arigato.

I didn't know you
spoke Japanese.

Miko taught me a
few strategic words.

Um, What strategic words?

Well, she just said
one lump or two.

I said, two please.

That's part of the
Japanese tea ceremony?

Well, well, we, we
changed a little bit.

I like my tea sweet.

You seem to speak
Japanese pretty well.

This Japanese appetizer.

Oh, they look marvelous.

Tempura.

Oh, yeah.

You remember
this, Mr. Hollinger?

Uh, yeah, um, O... Osusi, Osusi.

Osushi. Osushi, Osushi.

You certainly picked it up fast.

This is pickled radish.

And these are Inari Sushi.

I'm not too good at this.

Oh, I give lesson now.

Oh, wait, why don't
you help Ms. Marie?

Oh, gentlemen always come first.

See, you do like this.

Uh-uh.

Oh, I see.

It's very simple.

Yes, yes. Very simple.

Donald, I think you'd pick it up a
lot quicker if you tried it by yourself.

Well, I'm still not sure
I can handle them.

Well, if I can, I'm
certainly sure that you can.

I go finish sweater.

It was bad enough,
you let her tuck you in

but did you have to
let her tuck you out too?

My foot was asleep.

Well, it was certainly wide
awake when it pushed its way

in front of me into the cab.

When there are two ladies,

the man always
sits in the middle.

Why in the middle?

I thought gentlemen
always come first.

Look, we're gonna have an
argument, are we? Yes, we are.

Okay. Well, let's go out
in the hallway where Miko

can't hear us since we're
gonna be talking about her.

Fine. Now, I can't even have an
argument in my own apartment.

What really burns me up
is that you knew how I felt

about her and
you still led her on.

Led her on? How
was I leading her on?

How were you leading her on?

Oh, come on, Donald.

"My feet don't fit. I don't know
how to work my chopsticks."

Honey, I didn't ask her to help
me. She was just being nice.

You like her or you'd have gotten
rid of her when I first asked you to.

I was willing to let her go,
but you insisted that I keep her.

Well, that was before I knew
what type of person she was.

Beautiful.

All right. With all
the problems we're

having, I certainly don't
wanna keep her now.

Well you know, I don't want her.

Okay. Well, if you don't want
her, what are we arguing about?

Come in. I mean, come out.

I think you not want me.

I go try to find place
where I'm wanted.

Now, look what you've done.

What I've done?
You did it. I did not.

Oh, all right. Let's not
start another argument.

We both did it.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Gee, she must have had her little heart
broken when she heard what we said.

Yeah, I feel terrible.

Poor little Miko.

All alone on a big,
cold city like New York.

Oh, Donald, I feel just awful.

Now, we've got
to apologize to her.

Yes. She was awfully
upset. I don't think it'll work.

Well, if it doesn't, you'll
just have to marry her.

Are you sure this is it?

Well, this is the address I got
from the employment agency.

What would Miko be
doing in a place like this?

Well, if she's taking lessons, I
think we both better leave town.

I know Miko. She's
giving lessons.

Who do you think we talk to?

I guess the manager,
whoever that is.

Or the referee.

Miko.

Hello. Hello, Miko.

Oh, Miko, we're so sorry.

We came to apologize to you.

Y-you see, we both
feel very bad about it.

No need to feel bad.

Everything work
out fine. It did?

Yes. I can stay in
United States now.

You're gonna work here?

Oh, no.

Remember I tell you I can
stay if I marry American citizen?

Oh, yes, you did mention that.

Well, I found American citizen

but he very slow to
ask me to marry him.

And then I meet Mr. Hollinger.

Mr. Hollinger solved my problem.

How did he do that?

Well, my American
citizen, very jealous man.

When he find out I
work for Mr. Hollinger,

he go crazy and he
proposed last night.

Oh, Miko, that's wonderful.

Well, I can see how
he'd be jealous of me.

He's never even met you.

I introduce you now.

This is my American
citizen, Toshiro Takahashi.

Toshiro, this is Mr. Hollinger.

How do you do?

Hello?

Anybody here?

Maid? You called, sir.

Ann, I thought you were
gonna get me a new maid?

Well, you know, Donald,
I started to and then I

realized I've got at least one
free afternoon every week.