That '70s Show (1998–2006): Season 3, Episode 5 - Roller Disco - full transcript
When the Rollerdisco comes to Kenosha, Jackie insists Hyde must be her partner, he won't, she scorns Kelso, that leaves Fez, actually the best choice. Donna makes Michael so jealous he tries to sabotage his friend but swallows his marble; they win anyway, she gets drunk and frisky, Fez resists temptation, then regrets it. Donna's consolation attempt is mistaken by Kelso for making out... Red is sued by Earl for irregular termination using many ass-words; the panel insists Eric tells them about working with his pa's temper at work; Earl is however hopelessly late...
Oh, don't put Batman
in the clam of death, Riddler.
That's just gonna make him mad.
God, you're stupid.
Fez, for the last time,
the Riddler can't hear you.
Riddle me this, Riddler.
When Batman escapes
from the clam of death...
who will kick your riddle-telling ass in?
Hey, Fez. Riddle me this.
[Grunts]
Then riddle me this.
[Chuckles]
Oh, but, Fez,
only if you riddle me this.
Ow!
Riddle me this,
you son of a bitch!
- Oh, my God! Guess what!
- Stop! Fez!
This could be important!
You guys, the Roller Disco Doo-dah
is coming to Kenosha next Friday!
Oh, my God! Guess what!
[Raspberry]
See, now, that's the kind of thing the judges
really frown upon during competition, Steven.
Excuse me?
We're gonna be partners!
Skating partners.
Hey, how about instead, you hit me in the face
with a wrench, and I black out?
Steven...
this is not just a last chance
at roller disco.
It's a last chance at love-
our love.
Now, will you or will you not
skate with me?
I would, Jackie...
but seeing you there
in your cute little skating outfit...
with all your tassels and sequins...
I might be tempted to...
push you down a flight of stairs.
All right.
Jackie, what do you say-
you and me, roller disco?
I mean, we used to have some good moves,
you know, like, when we did it...
so it would be like that...
except for with lights and skates.
Okay. Um, first of all,
you make me sick. Okay?
Second, you're lame,
and you make me sick.
Third, you make me sick,
and any one of these guys...
would be a better partner
than you, even Fez.
Really? Then I am in.
Um, no, I didn't really mean it, Fez.
Oh, then I am out.
Damn it. Let me in.
Hangin'out
Down the street
The same old thing
We did last week
Not a thing to do
But talk to you
We're all all right
We're all all right
Hello, Wisconsin.!
[TV]
So, who willJackie choose
as her roller disco partner?
Who, who, who?
No freakin' way.
Hmm, how very sad.
[Sighs] No one to disco with.
Now, where did I leave
my potato chips?
Oh, there they are.
Look at that.
I left my soda back
in the other side of the room!
Refreshing.
God, my arm is sore!
Wow, Fez!
Oh, come on, Jackie!
You're gonna pick him
over me?
All right. Watch this.
[Grunts, Groans]
Jackie, I'm just
a roller disco machine...
and I don't work
for nobody but you.
[Kelso Groans]
Okay. Okay, fine.
We'll be partners.
But hear me now.
I want first prize.
If I lose and some stupid,
spoiled rich girl wins...
I'll scream.
[Kelso]
I am really hurt.!
- Hi, sweetie. How was work?
- Oh, pretty good...
except for the fact that Dad's getting sued
for firing a Price Mart employee.
Okay. Well, good.
Have a cupcake.
Mom, did you hear what I said?
Uh-huh, and it's just so very unpleasant,
I'm ignoring it.
So, have a cupcake.
Earl is suing Dad
for wrongful termination.
Earl? He didn't do his job.
He was always late.
He was a complete dumb-ass...
person.
Mom, you said "ass."
Well, now so did you.
Give me back the cupcake, foul mouth.
I can't even imagine the mood
your father's in.
Actually, he doesn't know yet.
I got the news after he left.
God, Dad is gonna freak.
I don't know how we're gonna tell him.
- Tell me what?
- That, uh...
Mom said the "ass" word.
Well, now...
actually, um...
Red, um-
You know, Mom,
I got this one.
Okay, uh, everyone here who's not being sued
by Earl for wrongful termination...
raise their hand.
I don't getJackie, man.
I mean, picking Fez
over me? Me?
I have the three things
that women want.
I'm-I'm hot, and I'm smart.
That's two things, moron.
No, it's three.
I count hot twice.
I mean, come on.
[Chuckles]
Kelso, who cares?
It's a stupid roller disco thing.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
It's silly for me to be jealous.
- You're a good friend, Donna.
- Yeah.
'Cause when you think about it, I mean,
what does Fez have going for him...
except an incredibly sexy accent
and an extremely hot body?
Okay. Now you're being
a bad friend, Donna.
I mean, come to think of it,
if Fez helps Jackie win a roller disco...
she might rip his clothes off
and have sex with him right there on the rink.
That's how hot he is.
Bad friend, Donna! Bad!
Oh, look at this guy's complaint.
"Red Forman was habitually ill-tempered."
Am I ill-tempered?
No, sir.
You're like Mary Poppins.
Okay, honey. Well, it says here
you have to go to the labor board.
You know what, Red Forman,
you have to go in there and defend yourself.
[Chuckles]
I'll defend myself.
I'll go in there,
and I'll tell those morons...
that they're wasting my time
with this stupid crap!
Or...
you could control your temper.
No offense, Mom, but what's plan "B"?
[Chuckles]
Hey, shut it, pal.
Okay, now, see, that's the kind of thing
that's gonna get you in trouble.
Now, when-when I get
really angry, I just-
I laugh it off... like this.
- See?
- Oh, geez, Kitty. That'll never work.
That's dumb.
[Disco]
[Ends]
Oh, my God. I think
Jackie and Fez are next.
Look! There they are!
Hey! The next contestants
are cheaters.
The brown guy is a robot.
- Robot? Shut up.
- [Man On P.A.] Ladies and gentleman...
welcome to the rink
our last contestants of the evening-
from Point Place, Wisconsin,
Jackie Burkhart and, uh...
Jackie Burkhart's Partner.!
Boo!
[Disco]
This is so cool.
- Oh, my God. They're amazing!
- Oh, did you see that? Fez just tripped.
- No, he didn't.
- The foreign guy tripped.
That's a deduction right there.
You're gonna lose!
Kelso, shut up.
That's it.
They're doing too well.
[Grunts]
What the hell is that?
- It's my secret weapon.
- A marble?
Yep. I'm gonna chuck it
out there so they trip.
You moron, it's one marble.
- Give me that. Give me that.
- No! No!
[Singing]
[Continues]
[Ends]
Boo! Boo!
- Boo!
- Whoo!
Oh, no.
They were good.
I swallowed my marble.
Boo!
- Oh, my God. You guys were so great.
- I know. I know.
And even when I almost tripped,
my natural grace totally saved us.
Well, I saw plenty of mistakes out there,
especially from Fez.
Shut your hole.
- Here come the scores.
- [Drumroll]
[Man On P.A.] And the winner of Kenosha's
Annual Roller Disco Doo-dah is...
- Jackie Burkhart and-
- Oh, my God!
- Friend.
- Fix! Fix!
I can't believe it!
I'm so sorry I doubted you.
You-You are my hero-
my- my hunky, sexy, foreign skating hero!
And you are my- my spoiled,
whiny skating princess.
Oh, Fez, thank you!
- [Gasps] Yea, champagne! Yea!
- Yea!
- Yea!
- Get off me.
Kelso, you booed us
the entire time.
What? No!
That was some rude guy.
So I popped him one,
and then I was goin', "Ooh,"
because I hurt my hand
when I popped the rude guy.
So... you're welcome.
You wanna kiss it?
Let's go, Fez.
Hmm. Come on, Kelso.
Look at the bright side.
What's the bright side?
The bright side is
there isn't one.
Fez has Jackie, and you have
to squeeze out that marble.
Now, Mr. Forman, at any point
did you ever berate Earl Arthur...
by calling him
any of the following names:
Candy-ass...
dumb-ass, lazy-ass-
Uh, it- it just goes on like that.
Well, that sounds like just
good-natured ribbin' to me.
- Doesn't sound that way to me.
- [Clears Throat]
[Laughs]
Are you callin' me a liar?
'Cause it's funny if ya are.
[Clears Throat] Well, you know, Eric worked
with him too. Eric, tell him about Earl.
Actually, I'd be more interested in hearing
what Eric thinks about working with you. Eric?
No. No, no, no, no.
[Chuckles] I'm-I'm here...
just to answer questions
about Earl- old, dumb Earl.
So, you know, you fire away
with the Earl questions.
I think we know
all we need to know about Earl.
Oh, then good. I'll just
step out then. Good.
- This was good.
- No, no, no, no. Eric, just a few more questions.
Is your father ever
unnecessarily angry?
[Chuckles]
Unnecessarily angry.
Well- [Clears Throat] you know,
what does "unnecessarily" mean really?
I mean, my sister likes
to put salt on roast beef...
but I think it's unnecessary.
I mean, why cover up the flavor
of such a delicious meat?
Just answer the question,
dumb-ass!
I mean-[Laughs]
Good work, Son.
Oh, my God.
I love champagne!
Yes. Was it any good?
Great. Just great.
[Gasps] Hey, Fez,
I just made up a poem.
- Do you want to hear it?
- Okay.
There once was
a guy named Fez...
who had a really cute butt.
Ta-da!
Well, I have to say
I don't hate it.
Hey- Psst...
Fezzie...
do you want to know a secret?
If you try to kiss me right now...
I probably wouldn't stop you.
[Giggles]
In fact...
I'd probably let you
do more than that.
[Giggles]
- Fez-
- Huh!
Good God, man. Don't do it.
She is drunk.
But, Batman, she is so hot.
But she's drunk.
There is no honor in this.
Ah, screw honor.
Take her pants off.
Ay!
Riddler, nefarious fiend.
Don't do it, Fez.
It's a trap.
Riddle me this, Fez. Why would Jackie ask you
to make out with her if she didn't want you to?
Seriously, he makes
an excellent point.
It's the dastardly
alcohol talking.
If you and Jackie get together,
you want it to be real, not like this.
Honestly, I was
rooting for you...
but imaginary Batman
makes a lot of sense.
Then riddle me this.
What does Batman know
about girls?
Slides down a pole and lives
with a teenage boy. Enough said.
Okay. Now I have to say,
advantage Riddler.
What are you trying
to say, Riddler?
I think you know what I'm trying to say.
Ooh-la-la.
Oh, you want to go,
question dork?
Oh, bring it on,
bat-wuss.
[Grunting]
So...
are you gonna kiss me, Fez?
No, I am sorry, Jackie.
That's okay.
You still have
a very cute butt.
Come on, Kelso.
SoJackie likes Fez. Big deal.
You're going out with Laurie.
I know. It's just, you know...
seeing her with another guy just made me
remember all the good times we had together...
and it just made me sad.
Yeah.
Come here.
You know, Kelso...
I guess underneath it all
you're kind of a good guy.
Sometimes.
Sort of.
- Things'll work themselves out.
- Yeah, I know.
What the hell
are you doing?
We can't fight these
feelings anymore, Donna.
- What?
- What? We've been doing this dance all night...
and, oh, God,
I'm tired of dancing.
You moron!
Nobody likes a tease, Donna!
I'm sorry. You're not a tease.
Come back.
Tease!
I'm sorry. Donna!
I guess "violent"
is the wrong word...
but, you know, it's definitely
some kind of rage.
Although, I mean, you know,
Earl had it coming.
I love you, Daddy.
[Panting]
Oh, hey. Sorry I'm late.
Hour and 10 minutes late.
I can only assume you're Earl.
Yeah.
So, um, sorry.
My, uh, dog got hit by a-
a guy in a-
- Car?
- [Snaps Fingers] Thanks, Red.
- So, what'd I miss?
- You missed everything.
Okay. I'm not gonna lie. Mr. Forman, you-
you scare the living hell out of me.
- No offense.
- None taken.
That's kind of his thing.
[Laughs]
But, Earl, in light of your failure to show up
for your own hearing...
we have no choice but to rule
in favor of Mr. Forman.
- Yes, sir!
- Way to go, Dad!
Damn... dog.
And Mr. Forman, even though
this hearing did go your way today...
in light of some
of your son's responses...
I would strongly encourage you
to go to anger management classes.
Sure, I'll-
I'll do that.
Neat! Anger management-
That sounds like it could be
kind of fun, right?
[Laughs]
We-We won. Hey!
You and me-
We're such a good team.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah.
We did it.
How about us, huh?
Stickin' it to the man.
I'll see you at home.
Wait. But, Dad, we-
we drove here together.
Then she fell asleep,
and I stroke her hair.
You did the right thing, Fez,
but a word of advice.
Next time you tell the story,
ya nailed her.
Yeah, but, you know,
it's better you didn't...
'cause scammin' on another guy's woman-
That's totally breaking the code.
Donna told me what you did,
you dill-hole!
No, she's lying!
[Shouting]
Oh! That's my nipple!
[Grunting, Shouting]
Hello...
buttercup.
Fez, you're drunk.
Madam, I may be drunk,
but you should have sex with me.
That's crazy.
But you have to, because last night...
I made a big mistake.
I don't even remember last night.
Ay!
in the clam of death, Riddler.
That's just gonna make him mad.
God, you're stupid.
Fez, for the last time,
the Riddler can't hear you.
Riddle me this, Riddler.
When Batman escapes
from the clam of death...
who will kick your riddle-telling ass in?
Hey, Fez. Riddle me this.
[Grunts]
Then riddle me this.
[Chuckles]
Oh, but, Fez,
only if you riddle me this.
Ow!
Riddle me this,
you son of a bitch!
- Oh, my God! Guess what!
- Stop! Fez!
This could be important!
You guys, the Roller Disco Doo-dah
is coming to Kenosha next Friday!
Oh, my God! Guess what!
[Raspberry]
See, now, that's the kind of thing the judges
really frown upon during competition, Steven.
Excuse me?
We're gonna be partners!
Skating partners.
Hey, how about instead, you hit me in the face
with a wrench, and I black out?
Steven...
this is not just a last chance
at roller disco.
It's a last chance at love-
our love.
Now, will you or will you not
skate with me?
I would, Jackie...
but seeing you there
in your cute little skating outfit...
with all your tassels and sequins...
I might be tempted to...
push you down a flight of stairs.
All right.
Jackie, what do you say-
you and me, roller disco?
I mean, we used to have some good moves,
you know, like, when we did it...
so it would be like that...
except for with lights and skates.
Okay. Um, first of all,
you make me sick. Okay?
Second, you're lame,
and you make me sick.
Third, you make me sick,
and any one of these guys...
would be a better partner
than you, even Fez.
Really? Then I am in.
Um, no, I didn't really mean it, Fez.
Oh, then I am out.
Damn it. Let me in.
Hangin'out
Down the street
The same old thing
We did last week
Not a thing to do
But talk to you
We're all all right
We're all all right
Hello, Wisconsin.!
[TV]
So, who willJackie choose
as her roller disco partner?
Who, who, who?
No freakin' way.
Hmm, how very sad.
[Sighs] No one to disco with.
Now, where did I leave
my potato chips?
Oh, there they are.
Look at that.
I left my soda back
in the other side of the room!
Refreshing.
God, my arm is sore!
Wow, Fez!
Oh, come on, Jackie!
You're gonna pick him
over me?
All right. Watch this.
[Grunts, Groans]
Jackie, I'm just
a roller disco machine...
and I don't work
for nobody but you.
[Kelso Groans]
Okay. Okay, fine.
We'll be partners.
But hear me now.
I want first prize.
If I lose and some stupid,
spoiled rich girl wins...
I'll scream.
[Kelso]
I am really hurt.!
- Hi, sweetie. How was work?
- Oh, pretty good...
except for the fact that Dad's getting sued
for firing a Price Mart employee.
Okay. Well, good.
Have a cupcake.
Mom, did you hear what I said?
Uh-huh, and it's just so very unpleasant,
I'm ignoring it.
So, have a cupcake.
Earl is suing Dad
for wrongful termination.
Earl? He didn't do his job.
He was always late.
He was a complete dumb-ass...
person.
Mom, you said "ass."
Well, now so did you.
Give me back the cupcake, foul mouth.
I can't even imagine the mood
your father's in.
Actually, he doesn't know yet.
I got the news after he left.
God, Dad is gonna freak.
I don't know how we're gonna tell him.
- Tell me what?
- That, uh...
Mom said the "ass" word.
Well, now...
actually, um...
Red, um-
You know, Mom,
I got this one.
Okay, uh, everyone here who's not being sued
by Earl for wrongful termination...
raise their hand.
I don't getJackie, man.
I mean, picking Fez
over me? Me?
I have the three things
that women want.
I'm-I'm hot, and I'm smart.
That's two things, moron.
No, it's three.
I count hot twice.
I mean, come on.
[Chuckles]
Kelso, who cares?
It's a stupid roller disco thing.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
It's silly for me to be jealous.
- You're a good friend, Donna.
- Yeah.
'Cause when you think about it, I mean,
what does Fez have going for him...
except an incredibly sexy accent
and an extremely hot body?
Okay. Now you're being
a bad friend, Donna.
I mean, come to think of it,
if Fez helps Jackie win a roller disco...
she might rip his clothes off
and have sex with him right there on the rink.
That's how hot he is.
Bad friend, Donna! Bad!
Oh, look at this guy's complaint.
"Red Forman was habitually ill-tempered."
Am I ill-tempered?
No, sir.
You're like Mary Poppins.
Okay, honey. Well, it says here
you have to go to the labor board.
You know what, Red Forman,
you have to go in there and defend yourself.
[Chuckles]
I'll defend myself.
I'll go in there,
and I'll tell those morons...
that they're wasting my time
with this stupid crap!
Or...
you could control your temper.
No offense, Mom, but what's plan "B"?
[Chuckles]
Hey, shut it, pal.
Okay, now, see, that's the kind of thing
that's gonna get you in trouble.
Now, when-when I get
really angry, I just-
I laugh it off... like this.
- See?
- Oh, geez, Kitty. That'll never work.
That's dumb.
[Disco]
[Ends]
Oh, my God. I think
Jackie and Fez are next.
Look! There they are!
Hey! The next contestants
are cheaters.
The brown guy is a robot.
- Robot? Shut up.
- [Man On P.A.] Ladies and gentleman...
welcome to the rink
our last contestants of the evening-
from Point Place, Wisconsin,
Jackie Burkhart and, uh...
Jackie Burkhart's Partner.!
Boo!
[Disco]
This is so cool.
- Oh, my God. They're amazing!
- Oh, did you see that? Fez just tripped.
- No, he didn't.
- The foreign guy tripped.
That's a deduction right there.
You're gonna lose!
Kelso, shut up.
That's it.
They're doing too well.
[Grunts]
What the hell is that?
- It's my secret weapon.
- A marble?
Yep. I'm gonna chuck it
out there so they trip.
You moron, it's one marble.
- Give me that. Give me that.
- No! No!
[Singing]
[Continues]
[Ends]
Boo! Boo!
- Boo!
- Whoo!
Oh, no.
They were good.
I swallowed my marble.
Boo!
- Oh, my God. You guys were so great.
- I know. I know.
And even when I almost tripped,
my natural grace totally saved us.
Well, I saw plenty of mistakes out there,
especially from Fez.
Shut your hole.
- Here come the scores.
- [Drumroll]
[Man On P.A.] And the winner of Kenosha's
Annual Roller Disco Doo-dah is...
- Jackie Burkhart and-
- Oh, my God!
- Friend.
- Fix! Fix!
I can't believe it!
I'm so sorry I doubted you.
You-You are my hero-
my- my hunky, sexy, foreign skating hero!
And you are my- my spoiled,
whiny skating princess.
Oh, Fez, thank you!
- [Gasps] Yea, champagne! Yea!
- Yea!
- Yea!
- Get off me.
Kelso, you booed us
the entire time.
What? No!
That was some rude guy.
So I popped him one,
and then I was goin', "Ooh,"
because I hurt my hand
when I popped the rude guy.
So... you're welcome.
You wanna kiss it?
Let's go, Fez.
Hmm. Come on, Kelso.
Look at the bright side.
What's the bright side?
The bright side is
there isn't one.
Fez has Jackie, and you have
to squeeze out that marble.
Now, Mr. Forman, at any point
did you ever berate Earl Arthur...
by calling him
any of the following names:
Candy-ass...
dumb-ass, lazy-ass-
Uh, it- it just goes on like that.
Well, that sounds like just
good-natured ribbin' to me.
- Doesn't sound that way to me.
- [Clears Throat]
[Laughs]
Are you callin' me a liar?
'Cause it's funny if ya are.
[Clears Throat] Well, you know, Eric worked
with him too. Eric, tell him about Earl.
Actually, I'd be more interested in hearing
what Eric thinks about working with you. Eric?
No. No, no, no, no.
[Chuckles] I'm-I'm here...
just to answer questions
about Earl- old, dumb Earl.
So, you know, you fire away
with the Earl questions.
I think we know
all we need to know about Earl.
Oh, then good. I'll just
step out then. Good.
- This was good.
- No, no, no, no. Eric, just a few more questions.
Is your father ever
unnecessarily angry?
[Chuckles]
Unnecessarily angry.
Well- [Clears Throat] you know,
what does "unnecessarily" mean really?
I mean, my sister likes
to put salt on roast beef...
but I think it's unnecessary.
I mean, why cover up the flavor
of such a delicious meat?
Just answer the question,
dumb-ass!
I mean-[Laughs]
Good work, Son.
Oh, my God.
I love champagne!
Yes. Was it any good?
Great. Just great.
[Gasps] Hey, Fez,
I just made up a poem.
- Do you want to hear it?
- Okay.
There once was
a guy named Fez...
who had a really cute butt.
Ta-da!
Well, I have to say
I don't hate it.
Hey- Psst...
Fezzie...
do you want to know a secret?
If you try to kiss me right now...
I probably wouldn't stop you.
[Giggles]
In fact...
I'd probably let you
do more than that.
[Giggles]
- Fez-
- Huh!
Good God, man. Don't do it.
She is drunk.
But, Batman, she is so hot.
But she's drunk.
There is no honor in this.
Ah, screw honor.
Take her pants off.
Ay!
Riddler, nefarious fiend.
Don't do it, Fez.
It's a trap.
Riddle me this, Fez. Why would Jackie ask you
to make out with her if she didn't want you to?
Seriously, he makes
an excellent point.
It's the dastardly
alcohol talking.
If you and Jackie get together,
you want it to be real, not like this.
Honestly, I was
rooting for you...
but imaginary Batman
makes a lot of sense.
Then riddle me this.
What does Batman know
about girls?
Slides down a pole and lives
with a teenage boy. Enough said.
Okay. Now I have to say,
advantage Riddler.
What are you trying
to say, Riddler?
I think you know what I'm trying to say.
Ooh-la-la.
Oh, you want to go,
question dork?
Oh, bring it on,
bat-wuss.
[Grunting]
So...
are you gonna kiss me, Fez?
No, I am sorry, Jackie.
That's okay.
You still have
a very cute butt.
Come on, Kelso.
SoJackie likes Fez. Big deal.
You're going out with Laurie.
I know. It's just, you know...
seeing her with another guy just made me
remember all the good times we had together...
and it just made me sad.
Yeah.
Come here.
You know, Kelso...
I guess underneath it all
you're kind of a good guy.
Sometimes.
Sort of.
- Things'll work themselves out.
- Yeah, I know.
What the hell
are you doing?
We can't fight these
feelings anymore, Donna.
- What?
- What? We've been doing this dance all night...
and, oh, God,
I'm tired of dancing.
You moron!
Nobody likes a tease, Donna!
I'm sorry. You're not a tease.
Come back.
Tease!
I'm sorry. Donna!
I guess "violent"
is the wrong word...
but, you know, it's definitely
some kind of rage.
Although, I mean, you know,
Earl had it coming.
I love you, Daddy.
[Panting]
Oh, hey. Sorry I'm late.
Hour and 10 minutes late.
I can only assume you're Earl.
Yeah.
So, um, sorry.
My, uh, dog got hit by a-
a guy in a-
- Car?
- [Snaps Fingers] Thanks, Red.
- So, what'd I miss?
- You missed everything.
Okay. I'm not gonna lie. Mr. Forman, you-
you scare the living hell out of me.
- No offense.
- None taken.
That's kind of his thing.
[Laughs]
But, Earl, in light of your failure to show up
for your own hearing...
we have no choice but to rule
in favor of Mr. Forman.
- Yes, sir!
- Way to go, Dad!
Damn... dog.
And Mr. Forman, even though
this hearing did go your way today...
in light of some
of your son's responses...
I would strongly encourage you
to go to anger management classes.
Sure, I'll-
I'll do that.
Neat! Anger management-
That sounds like it could be
kind of fun, right?
[Laughs]
We-We won. Hey!
You and me-
We're such a good team.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah.
We did it.
How about us, huh?
Stickin' it to the man.
I'll see you at home.
Wait. But, Dad, we-
we drove here together.
Then she fell asleep,
and I stroke her hair.
You did the right thing, Fez,
but a word of advice.
Next time you tell the story,
ya nailed her.
Yeah, but, you know,
it's better you didn't...
'cause scammin' on another guy's woman-
That's totally breaking the code.
Donna told me what you did,
you dill-hole!
No, she's lying!
[Shouting]
Oh! That's my nipple!
[Grunting, Shouting]
Hello...
buttercup.
Fez, you're drunk.
Madam, I may be drunk,
but you should have sex with me.
That's crazy.
But you have to, because last night...
I made a big mistake.
I don't even remember last night.
Ay!