Tell Me Your Secrets (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - I Got Here By Myself - full transcript

You got dreams?

To go back and be with someone
I don't have anymore.

Does she still have her stone...

for the lake?

She needs to throw
those sins away.

I checked
on your landlord.

He did work at St. Jerome,

but his license was suspended.

This place,
it's really mine?

It's my cabin.

It's you...



you who's been lying to me.

Your daughter's beautiful.

I want to stay with you.

Go home.

Grandma Moses...

She gave her life to those kids.

I know she phones you.

I know you know where she is.

You'll never find her.

And that's the only time
my Karen's ever coming home,

is to kiss my coffin.

...federal agency
is restructuring,

closing Minnesota's state office
regarding next month's...

Hi.



My sweet girl.

...which ranks third nationally
for the number of...

You look good.

New dress?

You bet it is.

I'm here for someone special,
you know.

You keep counting down the days.

When I get out,

the first thing I'm gonna do...

...is your hair.

And I'm gonna leave it
till you're home.

No one else can do it, anyhow.

You're a good person.

I love you
from the bottom of my heart

to the end of the world
and back again.

Are we safe?

Did you keep us safe?

National Weather Service

is predicting heavy rainfall
throughout Minnesota,

as much as six to eight inches
up north.

Bring it.

...is our down pillows.

Our down pillows
are extraordinarily soft,

luxurious, and long-lasting.

Choose from a wide selection
of styles,

densities, and shapes,

including bolster pillows,
body pillows, and bed rests.

For the ultimate in...

Oh, I don't know.
You're the professional.

It fits great.

You look... dashing.

That's not a word
you hear every day.

Oh, there she is.

Mary, Samantha.

Best salesperson
in all of Minnesota.

You're so sweet.

And I am sold.

Can you excuse us?

Sure.

- What was that?
- You said you had an emergency.

I don't have anything to wear.

Maybe that's more of a crisis.

Don't play games.

You were very rude
to Samantha just now.

That is not a good look on you.

You do not skip
meetings with me, John.

I hired you.

Well, then let me do my work.

And you should know
that I believe in kindness,

especially when it comes
to people

in the service industry.

You might want to apologize
to Samantha.

Now you're lecturing me?

My mom worked in cosmetics

and she told me horrible stories
about customer rudeness.

You're no-nonsense, like my mom.

You have that same expression,
sense of style.

She was an amazing
shopping companion.

But she was kinder.

And she used to look at me
just that way.

I loved getting caught
in her stare.

This suit will help me blend in.

You want me to blend in,
don't you, Mary?

I want you to find her!

Yeah, and when I do?
What is your plan?

What I do is none
of your business.

Because you spoke with her.

- Before. Didn't you?
- What?

When she was in jail.

How do you know that?

It's just my work.

I was a different person then.
I have different questions now.

So you do believe in change,
Mary?

That we can become
better versions of ourselves?

Esther Moses? Yeah?

All yours.

Hi.

Same.

I'm making splashes.

You are.

And your lovely hat,

your little cat hat.

I love it.

Me too.

Do you like kittens?

Yes. Kittens are fun.

I have a kitten.

Where?

In my truck.

Mommy loves kitties.

Yeah.

Yeah, she does.

Mommy!

What is it, honey?

I want to meet the kitty.

Where?

Slow down!

Where? Where?

It was right here?

You've reached Jake.
Leave me a message.

Hi. It's me,
just... just checking in.

I... I broke the rules,
using my phone.

Uh, anyway,
the break's been, uh, great.

The spa is super relaxing.

I'm about to get a, um...

a uh... uh, deep-tissue massage
right now.

I have nothing to complain
about.

Wow, I feel so cheated.

Except I miss you.

So there's that.

Okay. I love you.
I'll see you soon.

Hey, Pumpkin.

I don't care
that you're hiding out.

I want to hide out with you.

Hey.

Why would you want to hide out?

Move over.

I reckon...

today's just one of those days.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Don't make me read your mind.

Don't.

Stop.

Stop!

All right.

On one condition...

that you escort me to lunch.

I'm not hungry.

Nuh-uh. You're always hungry.

And my day just freed up.

John?

She wasn't
at the funeral.

Did you stay the whole time?

You aren't trying to tell me
how to do my job, are you?

E-Excuse me?

I have other options.

I-I don't want options.
I want assurances.

Yeah, me too.

I'm sorry?

I'm afraid I do need to know
what your intentions are.

I am not a fan of rendition.

What are you gonna do

when I find her?

Hey, John?

Yes, Mary.

You want to hear something?

Yes, Mary.

When my son was younger,
he had a bit of a phase.

He went from being
my perfect little boy

to this kid
who painted his room black

and told me I represented
a patriarchal society

obsessed with money
and the enslavement of others.

Did he have a point?

So I cut off his allowance.

And, pretty soon, we didn't need
to have that conversation again.

I'm starting to feel
kind of sorry for Jake.

It was "Jake," wasn't it?

It would take
only one phone call

to your parole officer.

What would you tell them, Mary?

That you gave me a phone
and an expense account

and blackmailed me
to cross state lines?

Huh?

I'll text you
when I have something.

Hi.

- How was your flight?
- It was worth it.

Even if I have to fly
back the same day.

You can't tell anybody
you were here.

The spa would never
let me back in

if they knew I was breaking
all these rules.

Sounds more like a covenant.

A convent?

No, I'm serious, though.
I'm serious.

You were never in Minnesota.
You never saw me.

You can't...
You can't tell anybody.

Fine, fine.

I can be a dirty secret.

You okay?

I feel like coming here
was a mistake.

The spa?

Sounds like a good problem.

I-I just needed to...

get away after what happened
with the Walkers.

You know, I wish you would
talk to me about that stuff.

You know, about Theresa.

About what happened.

You... You can talk to me,
you know?

You're sweet. Hey!

I just meant...

Yeah... you remind me

of a time before all that.

I...

I miss her, too, okay?

Theresa meant a lot to me.

What do I do?

Ah! Jesus!
It's me. How did you...

- C-Calm down. Relax. Emma. Emma.
- How did you find me?

There are rules. We have rules.

I am done with your rules.

You put yourself in danger
coming here.

- Do you understand me?
- The only danger...

...is you.

Emma, open the door!

-Open the door...
-No!

Don't ignore me!

I will run you down!

I'm trying to help you.

All I've ever done
is try to help you.

Tell me what you did to her.

Just tell me
what you did to her!

Nothing.
I didn't do anything to her.

Bullshit. It's bullshit!

Why did you get fired, Pete?

Why'd you get fired
from St. Jerome?

- You want to be a murderer now?
- Why? Why?

I will tell you everything
that you want to know.

Turn the truck off.

Emma, turn the truck off.

Don't lie to me.

I used to be a counselor
at St. Jerome house.

There was a girl there.

We had a connection.

At the time, I was 25.

She was 16.

But nothing ever happened.
Nothing. Ever.

Why'd they fire you?

Well, when the state found out
how close we were,

they banned me.

That was 15 years ago.

I never went back, ever,
until you asked me to,

and that's the truth.

What about the book?

Book? There was a book,
writing in it.

A girl's handwriting
all over it.

She drew a monster.
She was clearly scared.

Hell, yeah, she was scared.
She hated that place.

She felt trapped there.

She didn't trust them.

She trusted me.

When she ran away,
I made the mistake

of letting her stay
at the cabin.

That's why I got fired.

There were markings on the wall.

In the shelter,
there were markings,

like she was counting days.

I made those markings.

As a kid, I used to play war.

I used to pretend

that I was a POW.

Where is she now, that girl?

She's doing fine.

- She's fine, Emma.
- What happened to her?

- Emma, she's fine.
- I don't believe you.

- I don't believe you.
- Emma...

She's my wife.

Years later,
way after St. Jerome,

we reconnected.

The feelings were real.

I married her.

Now you know everything.

I never told the feds
that you went missing.

I've broken every rule
in the book,

trying to protect you.

All I've ever done
is try to protect you.

So if you don't trust me by now,

go to hell.

Hey, hey!

I knew you were hungry.

All right.

- Happy birthday.
- Congratulations.

Oh, Daddy.

Make yourself a wish, honey.

Whoo!

Thank you so much.

That looks good.

You know, someday soon,
people are gonna figure out

when my actual birthday is.

Everybody knows
what the day is, Peanut.

But they also know

my little girl is too special
to have just one day.

And her daddy gets
to celebrate her

whenever he wants.

You know, not everybody
thinks I'm so special.

The smart ones do.

I'm gonna tell you this.

Whatever you want in this life,

or whoever you want,

you go get it.

Fight for it, baby girl.

Did you find her?

Getting warmer.

I found this beanie, though.

Sprayed waterproof.

Have you ever seen a sheep
being sheared?

They say they're never gouged
or hurt in the process,

but I don't believe it.

So I am pained
and aware of the sacrifice,

but there is no genuinely
satisfying substitute for wool.

Like all the cows who died here

so you can have your good steak.

Sometimes nice things come
from an experience that hurts.

You want to pretend
like you're on top of this,

but you just keep stalling.

I'm starting to think you're
just playing games with me,

like you don't really know
how to do this job.

Does it feel like it's too much?

Failure's not a good look
on you, John.

Don't say that, Mary.

I prefer "Mrs. Barlow."

Oh, yeah?
But I really know you now.

So...

it's gonna be Mary.

Wow, you keep popping that gum
like my friend Andrea Black.

She was nervous, too.

I tried to tell her
about Meditation Alley.

She wouldn't listen.

It's really funny,

you reminding me of my mom
this morning

and Andrea Black right now.

Oh, stop this shit.

I want to see Karen Miller
by the end of the day,

and then I think
you and I are done.

We're not gonna be done.

Because I would
miss you too much.

Stop chewing!

Now, swallow it!

Now, swallow it!

Swallow it.

Get out of my car.

That's a good girl.

But I met him

maybe about a month before.

He did, uh,
housekeeping at my block.

I think I said good morning.

He said that I ignored him,

but I'm not that kind of person.

He took one of the master keys.

And I woke up.

And he was beside my bed.

Masturbating.

I just...

I knew he was gonna rape me.

There was this blackness
in his eyes, this power.

He had all my... my power.

He took all my power.

He used a fake name

at the job, so,

they never caught him.

But I can...

I can still smell his sweat...

...and his weight on top of me.

And in my dreams, he's...

...he's there.

He's always there.

Can I help you, ma'am?

I want a gun.

Something...

basic.

Okay, then.

Pick 'em up. See how
they feel in your hand.

That's a nice one right there.
I got a couple of those myself.

They're great
for concealed carry.

They're actually more reliable
than the revolver.

Nice polymer frame.

If you load the magazine,
you got eight,

and then one in the chamber.

These guns are super popular.

Easy to draw. Easy to holster.

You can't go wrong
with any one of those.

What... What will
you use it for?

Protection.

Emma...

what are we doing out here?

I didn't come back

just to say goodbye
to Esther, Pete.

Okay.

I came to get my little girl.

I named her Freya.

She's beautiful, Pete.

She has my eyes.

I knew I had to keep her safe.

No, I don't know.

I know something happened.

I...

I don't know why I had Freya
out here with Esther.

She said she just
found me out here.

She's the only one
who knew where my baby was.

With a couple.

Someone that she'd fostered
years ago.

But it was only meant to be
until I could come back for her.

I don't know who I am...

who I can be...

without her.

Will you help me?

Yes.

I'm always gonna do
my best by you.

It'll be hard and strange.

She only knows them, but...

No.

No, Pete.

No. Esther, she always
made it very clear

it was only until
I could come back for her.

Emma. I am...

No. No.

- I'm not leaving without her.
- I'm not asking...

Emma, I'm not asking you
to leave her permanently.

I came back for her.

I understand that,

but there's a right way
to do this

and a wrong way.

I'll help you get Freya back,
but not today, not yet.

Now, what you can do
is get yourself ready for her.

Get yourself together.

And, more importantly,
keep yourself together.

I will go see every judge
that I need to go see.

I pro... Emma, look at me. Emma.

Emma, I'm gonna stand by you.

You have to trust me right now.

I can't leave her here.

I can't leave her here.

You don't want to spend
the rest of your life

looking over your shoulder,

waiting for that knock
on the door,

or dreading the day
that they finally come

to take her away.

Come back to St. James with me.

Come back, and I promise
I'll get you Freya back.

But we have to do it
the right way.

Emma, you could live the life
that you want to live,

but you have to trust me.

"We put our sins..."

...our mistakes into a stone...

...one at a time.

Cast them into this lake

with an open heart.

When they fall...

we are free.

Free from our sins.

"Free from the past."

Free from the past, huh?

Well, then give me
a goddamn stone.

I found you.

Look at you.

You are a cutie.

Emma, you in there?

You have her?

It's nice to hear you, Mary.
How are you?

You have Karen Miller?

She did not show.

Okay.

Are you heartbroken, Mary?

You came across her, didn't you,
my friend Andrea Black?

You must've, from your silence.

Oh, I love this intimacy...

both so, so familiar
with each other.

I know what you did, Mary.

Oh, yeah?

What do you know?

What, are you gonna play games?

Hi, you.

I'll drive you back.

I got here by myself.

Okay.

Bitty?

Where are you?

There you are.

Hi.

I know I left you alone
for a while.

I'm sorry.

You lost your collar?

Huh?