Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987–1996): Season 7, Episode 1 - Night of the Dark Turtle - full transcript
After a fight with Shredder causes Donatello to be struck by a laser beam, his personality changes to become a costumed superhero known as the Dark Turtle. His mission: Seek out & destroy Shredder. Meanwhile, a dinosaur-like alien race called Triceratons, invades Earth.
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power! ♪
♪ They're the world's
Most fearsome fighting team ♪
We're really hip.
♪ They're heroes
In the half-shell ♪
♪ And they're green ♪
Hey, get a grip.
♪ When the evil Shredder
Attacks ♪
♪ These Turtle boys
Don't cut him no slack ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Splinter taught them to be
Ninja teens ♪
LEONARDO:
He's a radical rat.
♪ Leonardo leads
Donatello does machines ♪
That's a fact, Jack.
♪ Raphael is cool but crude ♪
Give me a break.
♪ Michelangelo
Is a party dude ♪
Party!
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in a half-shell ♪
♪ Turtle power! ♪
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLING]
Whoa. Outstanding monster flick,
dudes.
[ROARING]
Hey, that Godzilla wannabe's
after April.
As you can see,
these robotic dinosaurs
are the most realistic
ever built.
The Natural History Museum
hopes they will increase
public awareness
about paleontology.
You see, Michelangelo?
It's just the new dinosaur
display at the museum.
Man, it's a good thing
I didn't see that in person,
or I'd be tangling with that
enormo robot right now.
Well, that's why I don't
need to run myself ragged
fighting like the rest of you.
I use my brains.
[LAUGHING]
Right.
To invent
electric pepperoni slicers?
A lot of my inventions
actually work, you know.
Sure, Donatello.
But face it,
high-tech gimmickry
is no substitute
for ninja skill and cunning.
Hey, I could take on
Shredder myself if I had to.
Ha! Keep dreaming,
Donatello.
[WARBLED BEEPING]
What the heck is that?
It's my early-warning system.
[BEEPING STOPS]
The system's detected
a vibration under the earth.
Dudes, you don't suppose...?
It could be Shredder
heading up from
the Technodrome.
Are you sure this heap of junk
isn't pulling
our collective legs?
Well, there's only one way
to find out.
Come on.
[♪♪♪]
MAN:
There.
It's finished.
And so am I.
I should never have gotten
involved with you, Shredder.
At last, my microblaster
is complete.
This tiny weapon
is powerful enough to destroy
an entire building
with a single blast.
Ooh, goody.
I can hardly wait
to play with it.
I wanna play with it!
No fair,
I saw it first.
[CRACKS]
You idiots!
You've broken it!
Get that coward
back here.
Uh, sure thing,
boss.
[DEVICE BEEPS]
So, what's the holdup,
Shredder?
I had it within my grasp,
but these boneheads
bungled it again.
Oh, yes, blame the help.
Just get that thing working
or don't come back.
All right, all right.
I may just have
to try to fix it myself.
[QUIETLY]
You mess of ganglia.
I heard that.
All right!
We're hot on his trail now.
The vibrations stopped
at the government research lab.
LEONARDO:
We've searched three floors
and we haven't seen
any sign of Shredder
or anything else,
for that matter.
Face it, propeller-head,
your early-warning system
is a bust.
No way.
I'm telling you,
behind one of these doors,
we're gonna find...
Shredder.
The turtles! Destroy them!
[♪♪♪]
Donatello, no!
SHREDDER:
Oh, you fool.
Let me go.
[MACHINES BEEPING RAPIDLY]
Uh-oh. Incoming!
My microblaster!
[GRUNTS]
Donatello!
MICHELANGELO:
Dude, are you okay?
What's going on here?
You've gotta
get it out of here.
[♪♪♪]
CREATURE 1:
What an incredibly
backward planet.
CREATURE 2:
Conquering it should be
no problem, Captain Zorax.
ZORAX:
And by the time we're finished,
there'll be nothing left
but a cinder.
LEONARDO:
Is he going to be okay,
Master Splinter?
I'm afraid it's too soon
to tell, Leonardo.
He should never have tried
to take on Shredder alone.
Shredder?
Why did you stop me?
I nearly had him.
Yeah. Hey, the only thing
you had
was a warm, iridescent glow
from head to foot, pal.
I must stop Shredder.
Uh, this dude's
gone wackola.
Can you do anything
for him, sensei?
Donatello, look at me.
Clear your mind of these
vicious thoughts, my pupil.
Vicious?
Shredder's the one
who turned you into a rat.
Shredder's the one
who tries
to take over the world
every week.
Shredder's responsible
for everything evil
that ever happens.
He's out there somewhere,
and I'm going to get him!
No, you aren't in shape
to do anything.
Yeah, you've had
a major shock, dude.
Yes, perhaps you're right.
I could use a little rest.
I'd say the cheese
has slipped off
our amigo's pizza.
Now to get to work.
I'm sick of these
stupid masks.
Criminals are a superstitious,
cowardly lot.
I need a new disguise
which will strike utter fear
into their hearts.
Especially Shredder.
I must get back inside
that manufacturing plant.
Thanks to those meddling
turtles,
the security's been
beefed up.
I'm going to need some help.
LEONARDO:
I'm worried, Master Splinter.
That shock may have
pushed Donatello
completely
over the edge.
Yeah. He's really changed.
I'll say.
He's turned into a bunch
of fluffy pillows.
Where'd he go?
DONATELLO:
Now I'm ready
to take on Shredder
as the most feared
creature of the night:
The Dark Turtle.
Whoa.
Way cool entrance, dude.
Donatello, have you
lost your mind?
On the contrary.
I'm saner than I ever was.
Well, you're staying here
until it wears off.
I don't have time
for these games.
A little Turtle Smoke
will handle you.
[TURTLES COUGHING]
Shredder's out there
somewhere,
and I've got to stop him.
[ALL COUGHING]
Come on, Shredder.
Prepare to face the wrath
of The Dark Turtle.
[COUGHING]
We must get rid
of that smoke bomb.
LEONARDO:
We've gotta stop Donatello
before someone gets hurt.
[♪♪♪]
Why are you trying
to stop me?
You know what a menace
Shredder is.
Because you can't
take him on alone.
You could get hurt.
The only one who's going
to get hurt...
is Shredder.
[ALL GRUNT]
I think I liked
him better
when he was the meek,
brainy one.
I'd say he's gone totally bats.
Better not, dude.
Could me trademark infringement.
[TURTLECOM BEEPS]
SPLINTER:
Turtles,
you must return
to the lair at once.
It's urgent.
But, Donatello...
Hurry, Leonardo.
[TURTLECOM BEEPS]
I don't want anything
to do with you, Shredder.
If you refuse
to help me, I'll...
[GUN COCKS]
...have to keep
the ridiculously high fee
I was going to pay you.
All right,
you got my interest.
I want a dozen
of your best men.
[HORNS HONK, TIRES SCREECH]
I claim this planet in the name
of the Triceraton Empire.
[WARBLED BEEPING]
MICHELANGELO:
What is it dudes?
I believe it is Donatello's
early-warning alarm system.
[BEEPING]
Whatever it is,
the problem seems to be
in the midtown area.
Let's go.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You mean you're actually
gonna trust this thing?
Why not?
Well, for one thing,
the guy who invented it
is currently
swinging around the city
in his underwear.
[♪♪♪]
Freeze, buddy.
Give me your wallet.
DONATELLO:
Leave him alone, you insect.
[THUG GRUNTS]
All right, scuzzbucket,
where can I find
the Shredder?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I think you do.
[CHAINSAW BUZZING]
Now, talk.
Okay, okay.
I heard a couple
of Wolf Jackson's boys
say they had a job to do
for Shredder.
Hey, come back.
You can't leave me
hanging here.
[♪♪♪]
We'll have to divert
their attention.
WOMAN:
Help! Somebody help me!
Manny, Moe, Jack,
check it out.
MAN:
Hey, chief, give us a hand.
[GUNS COCK]
[THUGS SNICKERING]
Surprise, copper.
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
These mammals aren't putting up
any resistance.
LEONARDO:
No, but we turtles are.
Normally, I wouldn't fight
fellow reptiles,
but since you're in league
with these humans...
Whoever they are, I don't think
they came in peace.
Mm. I don't think
we're gonna find that guy.
We've been looking for hours.
BEBOP:
Yeah. It's way past time
for my midnight snack break.
DONATELLO:
I'll give you a break.
[CHUCKLING]
What are you supposed to be?
A trick-or-treat turtle?
[BOTH SNICKERING]
[SNORTING]
Laugh this off, scuzzbombs.
Why, you little creep.
Hey, where'd he go?
[BOTH GRUNT]
Wolf Jackson.
Where is he?
Who? That gangster who hides out
in the big shanty on the wharf?
Thanks for the info.
BOTH:
Ouch!
Good thing you don't
tell him what he wanted to know.
The boss might have
gotten mad.
Well, yeah,
but if we hang around here,
we won't know how
the rest of the story turns out.
Cowabun--
Whoa!
[♪♪♪]
[SNARLS]
Come back and fight.
We Triceratons are the greatest
warriors in the universe.
We've conquered
half the galaxy.
Whoa!
And you three
will never stop us.
We are seriously
outgunned, dudes.
We need the Turtle Van.
Are you kidding?
Those horn-heads will make
Swiss cheese out of it.
Have you got a better idea?
RAPHAEL:
Don't go anywhere.
We'll be right back.
We fixed Shredder up,
boss.
Good. I'm sick of dealing
with that weirdo.
Deal with me now, Wolf.
[ALL GRUNT]
Out of my way, lowlife scum.
Who are you?
What do you want?
DONATELLO:
Shredder. Where is he?
He's at the government lab.
He's working
on some gizmo.
Thanks for the information,
slimeball.
You creep.
This was my best suit.
[♪♪♪]
ZORAX:
Activate the Stargate Generator.
In less than an hour,
this entire planet
will be ours.
[TIRES SCREECH]
[TIRES SQUEAL]
RAPHAEL: Ah, see.
I warned you something
like this would happen.
I suggest you look skyward.
MICHELANGELO:
Whoa.
Heavy-duty
special effects, dudes.
ZORAX:
It is a stargate.
A warp in the fabric
of space and time.
In one hour,
the Earth's orbit
will carry it directly
into the stargate
and the entire planet
will be instantly
transported
across the galaxy
to the Triceraton homeworlds,
where it will be
stripped clean.
Oh.
Well, it can't get
much worse than this.
Don't be too sure, dude.
We still have a whole other
act to go.
[♪♪♪]
ZORAX:
In one hour,
the planet Earth
will be instantly transported
to our homeworlds.
It will be looted
of all resources.
Humans will be taken
as slave labor.
Then the planet will be reduced
to a charred cinder.
Man, that could put a serious
crimp in Earth's future.
What we need is some
incredibly clever plan
to sabotage their equipment.
Yeah, but that's
Donatello's department.
And in case
you hadn't noticed,
our resident brain has a few
loose keys on his accordion.
We've got to find him.
Come on.
You are fellow reptiles.
We don't want to fight you.
Join us.
LEONARDO:
Uh, we'll take
a rain check on that.
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[DEVICE BEEPS]
KRANG: Shredder?
What's taking so long?
Calm down.
My microblaster
is nearly complete, Krang.
Well, step on it.
How long does a fella
have to wait to rule the world?
[BEEPS]
All right, Shredder.
It's just you and me.
[CHUCKLING]
And what are you supposed to be?
I'm your worst nightmare.
You've been watching
too much TV, turtle boy.
[LAUGHS]
Where'd he go?
Now, Shredder,
for the final showdown.
LEONARDO:
I've got a fix on him.
Head north.
[♪♪♪]
Get on your feet,
you sleazebag.
Time for my Turtle Cuffs.
That ridiculous outfit hasn't
made you any less gullible.
You won't fool me twice,
you vermin.
[♪♪♪]
Turn the tables on me,
will you?
Now I got you
right where I want you.
Donatello, no!
[LAUGHING]
At last!
The Dark Turtle
is triumphant!
LEONARDO:
That generator's on wheels.
[♪♪♪]
Farewell,
accursed enemy.
[GRUNTS]
You always were
a pain in the neck, Shred-Head.
I got you, dude.
They'll catch you, dude!
Ooh, ooh, boss,
you gotta get out of here.
That turtle's gone psycho.
I know, I know.
Uh, what happened?
What am I doing in this stupid
superhero costume?
You had a major
gonzo attack, dude.
Well, gee, did I miss
anything important?
Well, take a gander
out the window.
DONATELLO:
Uh, I think you'd better
tell me about this, guys.
Now, this little gizmo
of Shredder's
should give us plenty
of firepower
if I can get it working.
Well, it's not as simple
as that.
Yeah, even if we beat
those Tricera-creeps,
there's probably a scazillion
more where they came from.
Oh.
Then we've gotta convince them
to leave Earth alone forever.
Their leader said something
about not wanting to fight us
because we're reptiles.
Hey, maybe they don't
attack planets
where the reptiles
are the dominant species.
That's it!
We've gotta get
to the Natural History Museum.
Come on.
ZORAX:
Three more minutes,
and this miserable planet
will be halfway
across the galaxy,
where it will become
the personal property
of the Triceraton Empire.
What the--?
[ROARING]
It's working, Donatello.
They think those robot dinosaurs
are real.
[ROARING]
Those beasts must be stopped.
But, captain, we can't harm
fellow dinosaurs.
They'll destroy us
if we don't.
Hurry up, Donatello.
Our dinosaurs are starting
to look pretty ragged.
It's done.
[DINOSAURS ROARING]
DONATELLO:
All right, you geeks.
How dare you fire
at my loyal minions.
Who are you?
I am Donatello,
ruler of this planet,
and the mightiest reptile
in the universe.
You lie!
No reptile is mightier
than we Triceratons.
Can a Triceraton do this?
I don't believe it.
This is my planet,
and you aren't
taking it anywhere.
The Stargate Generator.
No!
Captain, we must retreat.
Clearly these reptiles
are superior to us in every way.
Go on, scram before I get
really mad.
LEONARDO:
Donatello, you did it.
Yeah, I take back
every rotten thing
I ever said about you, pal.
You are truly the most
awesomest turtle of them all.
Hey, all it took
was a little brains.
And a little help
from Shredder.
MICHELANGELO:
Man, the Donster pretty much
creamed Shredder
single-handedly.
I can believe it.
He was so crazed
he made Casey Jones look like
a wallflower.
Well, things should
quiet down
now that he's
back to normal.
DONATELLO:
Shredder.
Where's that shredder?
Oh, no. Not again.
MICHELANGELO:
You gotta come to your senses,
dude.
We are not gonna let you
go after Shredder again.
What are you talking about?
I'm looking for
my electric cheese shredder.
I'm just dying for a pizza.
ALL:
Oh, dude.
[♪♪♪]
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power! ♪
♪ They're the world's
Most fearsome fighting team ♪
We're really hip.
♪ They're heroes
In the half-shell ♪
♪ And they're green ♪
Hey, get a grip.
♪ When the evil Shredder
Attacks ♪
♪ These Turtle boys
Don't cut him no slack ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Splinter taught them to be
Ninja teens ♪
LEONARDO:
He's a radical rat.
♪ Leonardo leads
Donatello does machines ♪
That's a fact, Jack.
♪ Raphael is cool but crude ♪
Give me a break.
♪ Michelangelo
Is a party dude ♪
Party!
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles ♪
♪ Heroes in a half-shell ♪
♪ Turtle power! ♪
[♪♪♪]
[GROWLING]
Whoa. Outstanding monster flick,
dudes.
[ROARING]
Hey, that Godzilla wannabe's
after April.
As you can see,
these robotic dinosaurs
are the most realistic
ever built.
The Natural History Museum
hopes they will increase
public awareness
about paleontology.
You see, Michelangelo?
It's just the new dinosaur
display at the museum.
Man, it's a good thing
I didn't see that in person,
or I'd be tangling with that
enormo robot right now.
Well, that's why I don't
need to run myself ragged
fighting like the rest of you.
I use my brains.
[LAUGHING]
Right.
To invent
electric pepperoni slicers?
A lot of my inventions
actually work, you know.
Sure, Donatello.
But face it,
high-tech gimmickry
is no substitute
for ninja skill and cunning.
Hey, I could take on
Shredder myself if I had to.
Ha! Keep dreaming,
Donatello.
[WARBLED BEEPING]
What the heck is that?
It's my early-warning system.
[BEEPING STOPS]
The system's detected
a vibration under the earth.
Dudes, you don't suppose...?
It could be Shredder
heading up from
the Technodrome.
Are you sure this heap of junk
isn't pulling
our collective legs?
Well, there's only one way
to find out.
Come on.
[♪♪♪]
MAN:
There.
It's finished.
And so am I.
I should never have gotten
involved with you, Shredder.
At last, my microblaster
is complete.
This tiny weapon
is powerful enough to destroy
an entire building
with a single blast.
Ooh, goody.
I can hardly wait
to play with it.
I wanna play with it!
No fair,
I saw it first.
[CRACKS]
You idiots!
You've broken it!
Get that coward
back here.
Uh, sure thing,
boss.
[DEVICE BEEPS]
So, what's the holdup,
Shredder?
I had it within my grasp,
but these boneheads
bungled it again.
Oh, yes, blame the help.
Just get that thing working
or don't come back.
All right, all right.
I may just have
to try to fix it myself.
[QUIETLY]
You mess of ganglia.
I heard that.
All right!
We're hot on his trail now.
The vibrations stopped
at the government research lab.
LEONARDO:
We've searched three floors
and we haven't seen
any sign of Shredder
or anything else,
for that matter.
Face it, propeller-head,
your early-warning system
is a bust.
No way.
I'm telling you,
behind one of these doors,
we're gonna find...
Shredder.
The turtles! Destroy them!
[♪♪♪]
Donatello, no!
SHREDDER:
Oh, you fool.
Let me go.
[MACHINES BEEPING RAPIDLY]
Uh-oh. Incoming!
My microblaster!
[GRUNTS]
Donatello!
MICHELANGELO:
Dude, are you okay?
What's going on here?
You've gotta
get it out of here.
[♪♪♪]
CREATURE 1:
What an incredibly
backward planet.
CREATURE 2:
Conquering it should be
no problem, Captain Zorax.
ZORAX:
And by the time we're finished,
there'll be nothing left
but a cinder.
LEONARDO:
Is he going to be okay,
Master Splinter?
I'm afraid it's too soon
to tell, Leonardo.
He should never have tried
to take on Shredder alone.
Shredder?
Why did you stop me?
I nearly had him.
Yeah. Hey, the only thing
you had
was a warm, iridescent glow
from head to foot, pal.
I must stop Shredder.
Uh, this dude's
gone wackola.
Can you do anything
for him, sensei?
Donatello, look at me.
Clear your mind of these
vicious thoughts, my pupil.
Vicious?
Shredder's the one
who turned you into a rat.
Shredder's the one
who tries
to take over the world
every week.
Shredder's responsible
for everything evil
that ever happens.
He's out there somewhere,
and I'm going to get him!
No, you aren't in shape
to do anything.
Yeah, you've had
a major shock, dude.
Yes, perhaps you're right.
I could use a little rest.
I'd say the cheese
has slipped off
our amigo's pizza.
Now to get to work.
I'm sick of these
stupid masks.
Criminals are a superstitious,
cowardly lot.
I need a new disguise
which will strike utter fear
into their hearts.
Especially Shredder.
I must get back inside
that manufacturing plant.
Thanks to those meddling
turtles,
the security's been
beefed up.
I'm going to need some help.
LEONARDO:
I'm worried, Master Splinter.
That shock may have
pushed Donatello
completely
over the edge.
Yeah. He's really changed.
I'll say.
He's turned into a bunch
of fluffy pillows.
Where'd he go?
DONATELLO:
Now I'm ready
to take on Shredder
as the most feared
creature of the night:
The Dark Turtle.
Whoa.
Way cool entrance, dude.
Donatello, have you
lost your mind?
On the contrary.
I'm saner than I ever was.
Well, you're staying here
until it wears off.
I don't have time
for these games.
A little Turtle Smoke
will handle you.
[TURTLES COUGHING]
Shredder's out there
somewhere,
and I've got to stop him.
[ALL COUGHING]
Come on, Shredder.
Prepare to face the wrath
of The Dark Turtle.
[COUGHING]
We must get rid
of that smoke bomb.
LEONARDO:
We've gotta stop Donatello
before someone gets hurt.
[♪♪♪]
Why are you trying
to stop me?
You know what a menace
Shredder is.
Because you can't
take him on alone.
You could get hurt.
The only one who's going
to get hurt...
is Shredder.
[ALL GRUNT]
I think I liked
him better
when he was the meek,
brainy one.
I'd say he's gone totally bats.
Better not, dude.
Could me trademark infringement.
[TURTLECOM BEEPS]
SPLINTER:
Turtles,
you must return
to the lair at once.
It's urgent.
But, Donatello...
Hurry, Leonardo.
[TURTLECOM BEEPS]
I don't want anything
to do with you, Shredder.
If you refuse
to help me, I'll...
[GUN COCKS]
...have to keep
the ridiculously high fee
I was going to pay you.
All right,
you got my interest.
I want a dozen
of your best men.
[HORNS HONK, TIRES SCREECH]
I claim this planet in the name
of the Triceraton Empire.
[WARBLED BEEPING]
MICHELANGELO:
What is it dudes?
I believe it is Donatello's
early-warning alarm system.
[BEEPING]
Whatever it is,
the problem seems to be
in the midtown area.
Let's go.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You mean you're actually
gonna trust this thing?
Why not?
Well, for one thing,
the guy who invented it
is currently
swinging around the city
in his underwear.
[♪♪♪]
Freeze, buddy.
Give me your wallet.
DONATELLO:
Leave him alone, you insect.
[THUG GRUNTS]
All right, scuzzbucket,
where can I find
the Shredder?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I think you do.
[CHAINSAW BUZZING]
Now, talk.
Okay, okay.
I heard a couple
of Wolf Jackson's boys
say they had a job to do
for Shredder.
Hey, come back.
You can't leave me
hanging here.
[♪♪♪]
We'll have to divert
their attention.
WOMAN:
Help! Somebody help me!
Manny, Moe, Jack,
check it out.
MAN:
Hey, chief, give us a hand.
[GUNS COCK]
[THUGS SNICKERING]
Surprise, copper.
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
These mammals aren't putting up
any resistance.
LEONARDO:
No, but we turtles are.
Normally, I wouldn't fight
fellow reptiles,
but since you're in league
with these humans...
Whoever they are, I don't think
they came in peace.
Mm. I don't think
we're gonna find that guy.
We've been looking for hours.
BEBOP:
Yeah. It's way past time
for my midnight snack break.
DONATELLO:
I'll give you a break.
[CHUCKLING]
What are you supposed to be?
A trick-or-treat turtle?
[BOTH SNICKERING]
[SNORTING]
Laugh this off, scuzzbombs.
Why, you little creep.
Hey, where'd he go?
[BOTH GRUNT]
Wolf Jackson.
Where is he?
Who? That gangster who hides out
in the big shanty on the wharf?
Thanks for the info.
BOTH:
Ouch!
Good thing you don't
tell him what he wanted to know.
The boss might have
gotten mad.
Well, yeah,
but if we hang around here,
we won't know how
the rest of the story turns out.
Cowabun--
Whoa!
[♪♪♪]
[SNARLS]
Come back and fight.
We Triceratons are the greatest
warriors in the universe.
We've conquered
half the galaxy.
Whoa!
And you three
will never stop us.
We are seriously
outgunned, dudes.
We need the Turtle Van.
Are you kidding?
Those horn-heads will make
Swiss cheese out of it.
Have you got a better idea?
RAPHAEL:
Don't go anywhere.
We'll be right back.
We fixed Shredder up,
boss.
Good. I'm sick of dealing
with that weirdo.
Deal with me now, Wolf.
[ALL GRUNT]
Out of my way, lowlife scum.
Who are you?
What do you want?
DONATELLO:
Shredder. Where is he?
He's at the government lab.
He's working
on some gizmo.
Thanks for the information,
slimeball.
You creep.
This was my best suit.
[♪♪♪]
ZORAX:
Activate the Stargate Generator.
In less than an hour,
this entire planet
will be ours.
[TIRES SCREECH]
[TIRES SQUEAL]
RAPHAEL: Ah, see.
I warned you something
like this would happen.
I suggest you look skyward.
MICHELANGELO:
Whoa.
Heavy-duty
special effects, dudes.
ZORAX:
It is a stargate.
A warp in the fabric
of space and time.
In one hour,
the Earth's orbit
will carry it directly
into the stargate
and the entire planet
will be instantly
transported
across the galaxy
to the Triceraton homeworlds,
where it will be
stripped clean.
Oh.
Well, it can't get
much worse than this.
Don't be too sure, dude.
We still have a whole other
act to go.
[♪♪♪]
ZORAX:
In one hour,
the planet Earth
will be instantly transported
to our homeworlds.
It will be looted
of all resources.
Humans will be taken
as slave labor.
Then the planet will be reduced
to a charred cinder.
Man, that could put a serious
crimp in Earth's future.
What we need is some
incredibly clever plan
to sabotage their equipment.
Yeah, but that's
Donatello's department.
And in case
you hadn't noticed,
our resident brain has a few
loose keys on his accordion.
We've got to find him.
Come on.
You are fellow reptiles.
We don't want to fight you.
Join us.
LEONARDO:
Uh, we'll take
a rain check on that.
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[DEVICE BEEPS]
KRANG: Shredder?
What's taking so long?
Calm down.
My microblaster
is nearly complete, Krang.
Well, step on it.
How long does a fella
have to wait to rule the world?
[BEEPS]
All right, Shredder.
It's just you and me.
[CHUCKLING]
And what are you supposed to be?
I'm your worst nightmare.
You've been watching
too much TV, turtle boy.
[LAUGHS]
Where'd he go?
Now, Shredder,
for the final showdown.
LEONARDO:
I've got a fix on him.
Head north.
[♪♪♪]
Get on your feet,
you sleazebag.
Time for my Turtle Cuffs.
That ridiculous outfit hasn't
made you any less gullible.
You won't fool me twice,
you vermin.
[♪♪♪]
Turn the tables on me,
will you?
Now I got you
right where I want you.
Donatello, no!
[LAUGHING]
At last!
The Dark Turtle
is triumphant!
LEONARDO:
That generator's on wheels.
[♪♪♪]
Farewell,
accursed enemy.
[GRUNTS]
You always were
a pain in the neck, Shred-Head.
I got you, dude.
They'll catch you, dude!
Ooh, ooh, boss,
you gotta get out of here.
That turtle's gone psycho.
I know, I know.
Uh, what happened?
What am I doing in this stupid
superhero costume?
You had a major
gonzo attack, dude.
Well, gee, did I miss
anything important?
Well, take a gander
out the window.
DONATELLO:
Uh, I think you'd better
tell me about this, guys.
Now, this little gizmo
of Shredder's
should give us plenty
of firepower
if I can get it working.
Well, it's not as simple
as that.
Yeah, even if we beat
those Tricera-creeps,
there's probably a scazillion
more where they came from.
Oh.
Then we've gotta convince them
to leave Earth alone forever.
Their leader said something
about not wanting to fight us
because we're reptiles.
Hey, maybe they don't
attack planets
where the reptiles
are the dominant species.
That's it!
We've gotta get
to the Natural History Museum.
Come on.
ZORAX:
Three more minutes,
and this miserable planet
will be halfway
across the galaxy,
where it will become
the personal property
of the Triceraton Empire.
What the--?
[ROARING]
It's working, Donatello.
They think those robot dinosaurs
are real.
[ROARING]
Those beasts must be stopped.
But, captain, we can't harm
fellow dinosaurs.
They'll destroy us
if we don't.
Hurry up, Donatello.
Our dinosaurs are starting
to look pretty ragged.
It's done.
[DINOSAURS ROARING]
DONATELLO:
All right, you geeks.
How dare you fire
at my loyal minions.
Who are you?
I am Donatello,
ruler of this planet,
and the mightiest reptile
in the universe.
You lie!
No reptile is mightier
than we Triceratons.
Can a Triceraton do this?
I don't believe it.
This is my planet,
and you aren't
taking it anywhere.
The Stargate Generator.
No!
Captain, we must retreat.
Clearly these reptiles
are superior to us in every way.
Go on, scram before I get
really mad.
LEONARDO:
Donatello, you did it.
Yeah, I take back
every rotten thing
I ever said about you, pal.
You are truly the most
awesomest turtle of them all.
Hey, all it took
was a little brains.
And a little help
from Shredder.
MICHELANGELO:
Man, the Donster pretty much
creamed Shredder
single-handedly.
I can believe it.
He was so crazed
he made Casey Jones look like
a wallflower.
Well, things should
quiet down
now that he's
back to normal.
DONATELLO:
Shredder.
Where's that shredder?
Oh, no. Not again.
MICHELANGELO:
You gotta come to your senses,
dude.
We are not gonna let you
go after Shredder again.
What are you talking about?
I'm looking for
my electric cheese shredder.
I'm just dying for a pizza.
ALL:
Oh, dude.
[♪♪♪]
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.