Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 5, Episode 5 - Tower Renovation - full transcript

Following the destruction of their tower by Slade, the Titans go house hunting.


♪ T-E-E-N

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S

♪ Teen Titans, let's go

♪ Teen Titans, go

-[GASPS] Hello, new friend.

Rubble ducky,
you are the one.


Slade destroyed everything.
He can't be trusted.

One of the
evilest villains ever.

Who wants rubble sandwiches?

ALL: I do!


Slade destroyed

Get in on these delicious
sandwiches, bro.

-They are not delicious!

They are bitter
and hard to swallow!

Like the memory of Slade

our beloved tower!

-[CHOMPS] Tastes fine to me.

I can't believe
you guys are willing to

settle for this
disgusting pile of filth!

We loves this rubble.

Look, we's getting
all this good sunlight.

That's because
there is no roof!

It's so warm and cozy.

Because everything
is on fire!

I now have so many places

to do the hanging of the hats.

-You don't even wear hats!

[PANTING] I hate to burst
your rubble-bubble, Titans,

but this no way to live.

We must rebuild!

[GASPS] And do the labor
that is manual?

I refuse to labor!

And I's refuse to manuals.

Do we really have to rebuild?

What did America do
when the White House
was destroyed

in the War of 1812?

They rebuilt.

And when the White House was
blown up in Independence Day?

They rebuilt.

And when the White House
was destroyed again
in Deep Impact,

Olympus Has Fallen,
White House Down,

-Superman II...
-Okay, okay. We'll do it.

Just stop making
the White House speech.

President Bill Pullman
didn't stop making speeches.

And neither will I.

Now, let's take
a look at the plans.

The West Wing will go here.

The Oval Office
goes here. Ooh.

And Rose Garden will be
a tasteful addition here.

ALL: Ooh.

So many of the wings.
It may fly.

BEAST BOY: We's could put
a Lincoln bedroom up in here.

So me and Abe
could have sleepovers.


RAVEN: This is a nice spot
for the James S. Brady
press briefing room.

Ooh, I can't wait to get
in there and tear into
those reporters.


STARFIRE: Ooh, and here
we could place
the Situation Room.

-In which there
are "The Situations."

I don't know if we're
building a White House
or a new tower.

But I'm loving it, baby.

I'm glad you're
as excited as I am.

Now, let's get downtown

and get the proper
construction permits.


You mean, from the city?

Them fat cats
down at City Hall

ain't cares about us
common mens.

They'll get us all
tangled up in
their red tape.

[GASPS] Red is
the stickiest of tapes.



My dear friends,

remember that
the government
works for us.

I'm sure the City Inspector
will bend over backwards
to help us.


Yeah, this doesn't
go anywhere.




I trust you'll
approve our plans

quickly, my good man.








Not only have we been denied
the permits of building,

I saw no obese felines
in the hall of the city.

That City Inspector
is a real butt.

I guess it's rubble living
from here on out.

Who wants some rubble cake?

No rubble food!

I've got another plan.

If we can't build, we can buy.

ROBIN: On this episode
ofHome Hawks...

Today we'll be looking
at T-shaped buildings

in the area that are
in our price range and
meet all of our demands.

My ideal home must be close
to the centers of learning.

RAVEN: Not too close.

The sound of children
laughing creeps me out.


And within easy commute.

I ain't about to spend two
hours in traffic every day.

It's also gots to be close
to them bird sanctuaries.

So I continue
my Ornithological studies.


These properties
have all that and more.

Now, I present to you,
option one.

-This quiet little love nest
is a bit of a fixer-upper.

ALL: Blah!

It is the vile.

This place might be
haunted, yo.

Let's hope so!

Think of how much we'll
save on the down payment.


It appears to be
the crime scene.

Was someone dismembered here?

There's a poltergeist!

This is horrible! Horrible!

Keep in mind that buying
a haunted dump like this

and doing your own renovations

is the best way to save money and increase you home's value.

ALL: No!

[SIGHS] Fine. If you
wanna waste your money

we'll move on to option two.

This classy abode has
an elegant yet timeless look.

It's move-in ready,
and fully furnished.

The tile is not
to my liking!

The decor is making me sick!

The wall's weird color,
I don't like!

This is horrible! Horrible!

These are simple fixes.

You can easily repaint
or pick new tile.

ALL: No!

[SIGHS] Very well.
We'll move on to option three.

-This exquisitely
shaped home...
-Hold up!

This don't look like a "T".

That's because it's an "R".

Well, there are only
so many T-shaped buildings.

I refuse to live in
the inappropriate
letter shaped building!

Well, the "R" could
stand for Robin.

ALL: No!

Fine! We'll go back to
the disgusting rubble pile!

It is a shame
none of the buildings

met our
unrealistic expectations.

Yeah, and this rubble living
is really bumming me out.

I can't eats no more
rubble tacos.

My teeths hurt.




If only the City Inspector
had granted us the permits.


Titans, what if we rebuild
without permits.


Dude, have you lost your mind?

Them fat cats
ain't gonna stay for it, yo.

Robin, you're messing
with powerful forces.

If the City Inspector
finds out...

It's a risk
I'm willing to take.

When aliens blew up
the White House
in Independence Day,

did President
Bill Pullman give up?

When a meteor created
a tidal wave that
destroyed the White House

in Deep Impact,
did President Morgan...

Okay, enough with
the White House speech.

We're in.

Then moisten
those lips, Titans.

Because we're going to...

Whistle while we work.




We'll never wrap this up
in one episode.

Titans, whistle harder.



Did I hear work whistling?

[GASPS] The City Inspector.


Your permit was
denied, Titans.

There's only one way to deal

with code violators
like yourselves.

Behold the power
of bureaucracy.


ALL: Red tape!



We don't stand a chance.

The City Inspector
will bind us forever

with the tape that is red!

We's gonna be homeless
forever, yo!


Are you all giving up?

What other choice do we have?

In the paraphrased words
of President Bill Pullman,

"Hours from now,
jets from around the globe

"will launch
the largest air assault

"in the history of humankind.


"This word has
a new definition
for us today."

None of that
applies right now!

I was getting
to the best part.

No more speeches
of the actor president!


Titans, go!



-Ow! Ow! Ow!


Take that!








Azarath Metrion Zin...



This work site
is officially closed

until further notice.

Which will be, um...


[GRUNTS] Must break free!



We can't cut through
the red tape! It's over.

Not yet. I've got
one last trick of my sleeve.

I'm going to exploit
a government official's
only weakness.


A little something
to wet your beak?


Well, everything's
in order here,

You're all up to code.

Um... Thank you
for your, uh, donation.


We should've
started with the bribe,

Eh, live and learn.
Now Titans,

get to work!


-CYBORG: Nice job.

-ALL: Ooh.

ALL: Ah!


Look at that toilet!

So, what do you think?

You know,
it's mostly the same.

Ooh, but with
the slight differences.

The important thing is
that the living room
has been reworked

so that it's easier
to enter and exit.

Which is the real reason
we did all of this.

Now we'll never
have to rebuild again.



That'll buff right out.

Some duct tape
will patch that right up.