Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 5, Episode 37 - Campfire! - full transcript

The Titans put on a show, but Robin warns them that the performance must be boring or else they'll wake up the wolves.

♪ Summer's here,
let's get outside ♪

♪ Pack your bags
hop in the ride ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go
this is gonna be so great ♪

♪ Oh, man, I can hardly wait! ♪

♪ Summer camp
Super summer hero camp ♪

♪ Summer camp
Super summer hero camp ♪

- ♪ They got lakes ♪
- ♪ We'll jump right in 'em ♪

- ♪ Canoe races ♪
- ♪ Yeah, we'll win 'em ♪

♪ Stargazing, making wishes ♪

♪ Summer love
First-time kisses ♪

♪ Hanging out
Making new friends ♪

♪ I hope this summer
Never ends ♪

♪ Summer camp
Super summer hero camp ♪

♪ Summer camp
Super summer hero camp ♪

- ♪ Roasting s'mores ♪
- ♪ Campfire songs ♪

♪ So much fun
You just can't go wrong ♪

♪ Making memories, having fun
Running around ♪

♪ Hold up, shh
What's that sound? ♪

♪ Something's in the bush
Over there ♪

♪ It's a bear! ♪

♪ Run! Run! Run! Run! ♪

♪ Summertime
Fun! Fun! Fun! ♪

♪ Summer camp
Super summer hero camp ♪

♪ Summer camp
Super summer hero camp ♪

Season 05 Episode 37

Episode Title : "Campfire"

Exciting news, Titans.

We're going home?

More exciting than that.

- You're going home?
- No!

We are putting on tonight's


Why wait till tonight?

Oh, let's get some
giggling in here!


All right!

This is not a good idea,

or what I was talking about.

Oh, no! Ahhh!

It's out of control.

This is your fault.

You didn't clear
a proper ten-foot radius.

I don'ts even know what a radius is.
How's I gonna clear one?

This is gonna be millions of
dollars in property damage.

The why?

The why?

Sorries we ruined
your campfire, Robin.

Nothing except the forest
has been ruined, Titans.

You see, a campfire
is not a pile of flaming wood,

but a mildly
entertaining performance

consisting of skits...

♪ Songs
and stories.

And tonight,
we get to put one on.

You mean I can finally live out
my dreams of being a performer?

I also wish to be the star

and perhaps the moon,

but not ever the Pluto,

for it is not even the planet!

I can't wait
to make the crowd laugh.

Now, I've planned it all out.

We'll start with
some groan-inducing comedy.

Then it's time
for an agonizing sing-along

that is sure
to make the audience cringe.

Finally, we'll
close out the night

with my very special
musical number,

sure to leave everyone asleep by the end.

That's so boring, yo!

It is essential
that we stay true

to the traditional
boring campfire,

otherwise, we will
wake them up.


The wolves!

The wolves?

Yes. If a campfire
audience laughs

and cheers too loudly,

we'll attract wolves!

Hungry wolves.

That will devour us all.

That's why the traditional
boring campfire protocol

must be followed.


He made all that up.

He just wants to do
his cheesy skits.

Guys, I don't want to
be eaten by wolves.

Then it settled.
Tonight, we will perform the greatest,

most boring campfire
of all time.

- Who's with me?
- We are.

Love that
low energy, Titans.

We don't want to
attract any wolves

with unnecessary enthusiasm.

Do you feel the apathy
in the air, Titans?

It is positively
the opposite of electric.

Here are the outdated skits
and songs for tonight.

Memorize them, and remember,

the performances need
to be stilted and forced.


This ain'ts even hot garbage.
This is garbage.

Guys, do we really want to
embarrass ourselves

with this cringey material?

It's either this
or be eaten by wolves.

- Up to you.
- The wolves!

There are no wolves.

That's right.
Let's keep it nice

and boring.

Good evening, campers,

and welcome
to tonight's campfire.

We've got a lot
of wholesome fun planned,

so get ready to chuckle lightly

and clap politely.

That rhymes.

Oh, who is this?

Look out, the Viper is coming.

The Viper is coming.

Oh, dear, the... The Viper?
That sounds menacing.

Well, as I was saying...

Everyone, the Viper is coming.

The Viper is coming.

Ah! Oh, my goodness.

This Viper character certainly
has me shaking in my boots.

The Viper is here.
The Viper is here.

I am the Viper.

I have come to do the viping

of the vindows.

Thank you, thank you.

There's plenty more
bland entertainment

where that came from.

Boom! And that's how it's done.

Dude, that skit was horrible.

Yes, and executed with
a perfectly awful performance.

Mediocre job
all around, Titans.

Now, I think we've got
the audience warmed up

for a little
musical number called,

"Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

That's a baby song, yo.

Not the way I sing it.

We'll divide the crowd
into three sections

and they'll each start
at a different time,

creating a cascading waterfall
of harmonies.

It's gonna be so gentle!

I can't wait
to hear it.

I ain't singing
no "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

I cannot bear
to row the boat the once,

much less the three times!

Then let's put on something
to get the crowd going.

What about those wolves?
I still don't want to get eaten by wolves.

The wolves!

There are no wolves.

Let's just put on a good show.

It is that time in the program
where I slow things down

and try to say
something profound,

but I'm a small man,
plagued by insecurity,

so instead, let's sing
a popular baby song.

♪ Mi, mi, mi ♪

♪ Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily
Merrily, merrily ♪

♪ Life is but a dream ♪

Now, this section starts
when I get to "gently."

- ♪ Row... ♪
- ♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily
Merrily, merrily ♪

♪ Life is but a dream ♪

♪ Row, row, row, ♪

♪ row, row, row Row your boat ♪

♪ Row, row, row, Row your boat ♪

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

♪ Row, row, row your boat v

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily
Merrily, merrily ♪

The wolves.

♪ Merrily, merrily
Merrily, merrily ♪

♪ Life is but a... ♪


Under no circumstances
is this suppose to be fun!

Do you want to be eaten by...


- Do you?
- We's think yous just crying wolf, fool.

Then what do you call that?

Wait, I'll tell you.
It's a wolf!

Yeah, we're in the forest.
That's where they live.

Clearly you are not taking
this threat seriously!

Now, we have to go out there

and take the energy way down!

We've got to perform
my special musical number.


Man, nobody wants
to hear that song.

We are out. Peace!

Wait, wait, wait. What if we
did a funny comedy skit instead?

The no.

Would you be interested

if told you there was,
uh, toilet humor?

Tell us more.

First, you have promise
you'll do it exactly as I say.

Are you sure there's
toilet jokes in this skit?


- We promise.
- Good.

Then I'll tell you all about
this little show nonstopper

called The Wee Skit.

Okay, okay.
Now we're talking.

Hey, bus drivers lady,
I gots to go wee.

You'll just have to hold it.

But we really have to go wee.

Just let us go wee!

No, I told you to go wee
before you got on the bus.

But we really gotta go wee.

right, then, go wee.



What a
wholesome punchline.

Nah, fool,
that ain't the punchline.

This is.

Yeah, yeah. Wee, wee, wee, wee.

I's gonna wee on you.

No. No, no, no.

This is supposed to result
in a half-smile at best.

The crowd is going to eat
these shenanigans up.


Stop spraying me with the hose.

Stop this entertaining
showmanship at... Whoa!

Are those...


Zipply Zad.
I did not want this!

We can't fight
these wolves.

Only one thing can stop these wolves.

My very special musical number!

♪ Softly
falls The light of day ♪

♪ As our campfire fades away

- ♪ Silently each one Should
ask ♪ -

♪ Have I done my...

The wolves,
they are doing the cringes.

It's Robin's song.

The wolves can't take it.

♪ Can I guiltless

♪ Sleep tonight?

♪ Have I done
And have I dared ♪

♪ Everything to be prepared?

Now that's how you take
the energy out of a crowd.

Thanks, Robin.

We never could have made
the wolves cringe that hard.

I hope you now understand
the importance

of making campfires
stilted, boring

and cringe-worthy, Titans.

So we don't wake up the wolves.

Or the...




Just don't kill us.

Sync corrections by srjanapala