Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 5, Episode 26 - Them Soviet Boys - full transcript

In order to quickly get through their chores and karate lessons, the Titans learn how to montage.

[opening theme playing]

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

Yo, Cy.

-You knows whats I want
right now?
-Yeah, I do.

[both] Streamed broccoli!

Did someone say
"steamed broccoli"?

I wish to immerse
the tiny green trees

into the boiling water
to soften their branches!

Then it's your lucky day!

I'm hungry.
How long is this gonna take?

[Cyborg] To steam the broccoli
to the perfect soft texture,
five minutes.

Plus two additional minutes
to bring that water
to a boils.

So, we're talking
seven minutes total.

[gasps] That is far
too much of the time.

Isn't there a faster way
to do it?

Well, we could do a montage.

What is this "montage"?

It's a filmmaking technique
that was pioneered by Soviet
director Sergey Eisenstein

to condense long,
potentially-boring periods
of repetitive action

and suggest the passage
of time.

[wind blowing]

It's a way to skip
through the boring stuff, yo.

-Yes. Whoo-hoo!
Love skipping boring stuff!

Let's be like them
Soviet boys and montage
these broccolis, yo!

[all] Montage!

[instrumental music playing]

[all] Whoo!

Wow! The time seemed
to pass in an instant!

That's the power
of a montage, baby.

Let us now demolish
the mushy tree trunks.

[Robin] Titans,
report to the front yard

[all groaning]

This better
be important, fool.

We were about to eat
some steamed broccoli.

We find ourselves
in a dire situation.

Katarou, our old nemesis...

Has returned.

Hold up. Isn't Katarou
your old nemesis?

Yeah, I ain't gots nothing
against this gentlemens.

We need to be on guard!

Katarou is not only
a master of martial arts,

-but a master of surprise.

-[all scream]
-Is it him?



No, but it could've been.

Well, call me when he shows up
and I'll hit him
with the Old Shablamo.



Your Old Shablamo
will be useless
against Katarou.

To defeat him, you will
have to become
martial arts masters.

We'll start with
the most majestic move
in all of martial arts,

the crane kick.

You talking about that move
from Karate Kid?

We love kicking!

-[all yelling]
-[Cyborg] Okay, kick, kick.


Stop that!

You wouldn't even be able
to take down Billy Zabka
with that garbage.

Then, teach us, oh, sensei.

Becoming a martial arts master
takes months, if not years,
of dedicated focus.

That is far too much
of the time!

And I wants to kick some fools
right now! Ha!

There has to be
a faster way to become
martial arts masters.

No shortcuts.
We need to work hard

until we're skilled enough
to defeat Katarou.

-What about a montage?
-Oh, yeah.

That's how Daniel san
learned it.

This isn't a movie.
That is not a thing
you can do.

[all] Montage!

[all grunting]

[all yelling]




Joy! We have learned the
kung of the fu of the panda.

And in under a minute, baby.


[sighs] That's not possible.

There are no shortcuts!

You keep saying that,
but we's just proved
you wrong there, sensei.

-Wah! Bird kick in your face!

[all yelling]

Hey. Now that we're all doing
this montaging,

we can probably get
to all those other things
we haven't had time for.

I can finally get around
to cleaning up the tower.

Ooh, I have always wanted
to learn the French.

I's been wanting to learn
how to do some of that
good computer programming

so I's could be like them
rich nerds.

And I've been waiting
to fix the T-Car for months.

Titans, do you want
the satisfaction that comes

with putting in the time
to achieve your goals?

Or do you want
instant gratification?

The instant gratification,

Let's montage this piece.

[all] Montage!

[up-tempo instrumental music


[all cheering]

[Cyborg] All right! Boo-yah!

Where have you guys been?

Montaging, baby!

Yeah, we's done montaged
all our importants business.

After that we montaged
every episode of every show
on TV.

And all of the kitten cat
videos on the Internets.

[piano music playing]


-Katarou could appear at any--
-[alarm blaring]

[Robin] Looks like Katarou
has infiltrated the tower.

Titans, go!

[alarms blaring]

[all scream]

-[wings flutter]
-[all gasp]


Not him.

-[metallic clang]
-[all gasp]

[instrumental music playing]

Katarou, our old nemesis.

Your old nemesis.

I've got nothing
against your friends.

They actually seem
pretty cool.

Huh. You seems like
a cool dude yourself.

I am...very cool.

Ooh. We should do
the hanging-of-the-out.

Stop being friendly.
We are mortal enemies.

Let's talk after.
Maybe we'll check out
a movie or something.

You don't stand
a chance, Katarou.

Before you are five
martial arts masters.

That's right. We montaged
through our training
and now we are super-deadly.

Titans, go!

[Titans yelling]

[all grunt]

Martial arts masters?


They couldn't defeat
Billy Zabka with that garbage.

-[all] Oh!
-Oh, mans.

Them karate moves
we learnt in the montage
ain'ts working.

How could doing the shortcuts
left us so-the-unprepared?

It's the montages.
Don't you see
what's happened, Titans?

Sounds like
you're gonna tell us.

Yes. I will explain
in full detail how
we came to this point,

and why your use of montages
was a mistake.

This will take a while.

We ain'ts wanna listen
to a long explanation.

Ooh, I have the idea
for the shortcut.

Wait, if you just listen--

-[all] Montage!
-No more montages!

Now, listen up.

Raven, you only cleaned
the part of the window

we saw you clean
in the montage.

Cyborg, all you did
was pretend to tighten
some bolts.


Beast Boy, the computer
you were typing at
doesn't even work.

[rats belching]

And, Starfire, you only
learned three words of French.


Oh, I see now.

Anything we skipped past
doing in our montage
never actually got done.

It was just the illusion
of results,

but real results
come from real work.

We see now
there are none
of the shortcuts.

And we owe you the apology.

No time!
We still have to stop Katarou.

But how can we possibly
defeat him?

With a crane kick.

Uh, we never learned how,

I will teach you properly
this time.

How will we learn it in time
to defeat the Katarou.

With another
filmmaking device, a dissolve.

It's another way to show
the passage of time without
the flashiness of a montage.

Can we get on with this?

Don't worry, Katarou,
we are going to defeat you
very, very slowly.


Okay, since, this is
our first crane-kick class,

please introduce yourselves
and tell us why you're here...

Let's start off
with some basic...

-Oh, stretches!
-[Cyborg grunts]

Why is this taking so long?

No shortcuts. Ugh!

Fine, just hurry up.

How long have we been
doing this, Beast Boy?

Point the toes.
Point the toes!


Almost there, Titans.

Congratulations, Titans.

You perfected the crane kick.

And did it without shortcuts.

The time has come, Katarou.

Titans, go!

[Titans yelling]

[wind blowing]

[Titans continue yelling]

[all] Hyah! Hyah!

[Cyborg] Hyah!

-[Cyborg] Boo-yah!