Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 5, Episode 20 - Tall Titan Tales - full transcript


♪ T E E N T I T A N S ♪

♪ Teen Titans let's go ♪


♪ Teen Titans, go! ♪

Titans, it's that
time of year again!

Ranger cookies!

We love Ranger cookies!

That's right, Titans.
For the next month,

we eat with no regard
for our cholesterol level.

Mans, I ain't wants no orange box!

- We only want the ones in the green box.
- Everyone knows the only

Ranger cookies worth eating
are the ones in the green box.

I'm sorry you're disappointed
with your free cookies!

But these were
the only ones they had.

If you ain'ts holding back
on us, why is you so sweaty?

Yeah, I... I suffer
from profuse sweating.

Runs in my family.

Get him!

- Just give us the green box!
- Never!

They're the only good flavor.



Friends, what is the cause
of this shameful behavior?

They're eating my Ranger cookies.

Friends, cease your mastication.

It is unacceptable to eat the cookies
made from the defenseless rangers.

Chill. These cookies ain't
made from rangers.

They're sold by rangers.

- The rangers do not do the rangering?
- Mmm, not really.

The whole organization
is a front to sell cookies.

It's not a front.

Selling cookies teaches
the rangers valuable skills,

so they can be successful
in business when they grow up.

Ooh, I have always dreamed of becoming

a successful business alien princess.

May I be the ranger and sell
of the cookies as well?

Sure. I don't care.

Joy! When next we meet,
I will be the ranger!

Get back here!


These cookies go down so easy.

I don't even care what
they're doing to my heart.

Can I at least have one?

Sure! You can have one.

Of them other color boxes!

They're an abomination
of textures and flavors!

I want the ones in the green box.

Too late!

Greetings, friends!


Oh, my goodness gracious.
You are a precious angel.

You're going to have
so much fun rangering, Star.

The camping,
the arts and crafts...

Oh, no, no, no and the no.

Remember, there is no rangering
in the rangers.

We exist only to sell of the cookies.

Gots any of
them good green boxes?

I have all of the colors!

How much for the green box?

Good luck selling those garbage
flavors, Star.

I am the business alien princess.
I can do the this.

Buy the cookies! Buy them!

Hmm. Perhaps the subtle
approach is in order.

Excuse me.

The ma'am. The ma'am.

The ma'am.

♪ Cookies! ♪

Now give the monies.

I am the sorry.

And the hopeless.

- How did it go, Star?
- I failed to sell the single box.

I fear I shall never become a
successful business alien princess.

If you wants to be
a business aliens princess,

then you gots to work on them
business alien skills, yo.

What are these skills
of which you speak?

They're written right here on the box.

Decision making, people
skills, and business ethics.

Do you truly believe I could learn
of these skills of the business?

Of course! And we can
all help teach you.


The first skill you need to
learn is decision-making.

Quick, make a decision
about anything.

- I...
- Too late, you already failed the lesson.

You need to act on your
decisions quickly and firmly.

Puppies or kittens?
Which do you save?

I, uh... The kitties!
They are so adorable!

But... But so are the puppies!

Oh, I cannot decide!

Time's up.

Okay, Star, let's get to
work on those people skills.

The thing about peoples is,
they is dumb.

All yous gotta do is put them at
ease with some good eye contact.

Lighten the mood
with a fun conversation.

Or blow their feeble minds
with a magic trick.


Now, let's try a little role-play.

I'll be the customer,
you two sell me cookies.

- What up, my mans?
- Good afternoon.

That's some good eye
contact right there.

- Puttin' you at ease, ain't I?
- I'm gettin' there.

Okay, mama.
Now yous join in.

- Would you like to buy of the cook...
- What? How dare you?

That's too soon!

I gots to grease this fool
with some magic!

- Hey, gummy, pick a card.
- Oh, I see how it is.

Pretending to be my friend
so you can sell me cookies.

So what? I'm just trying
to wet my beak.

I demand to speak
with your supervisor!

Well, I ain't giving you his name.

The third and final skill
you'll need to learn is

business ethics.

What are the ethics
of the business, Robin?

Basically, it means that
there are a lot of rules

and laws that cannot be broken.

And therefore, you should do
whatever you can, eh,

to succeed in the business world,
eh, eh,

while staying within the
confines of the law. Eh, eh!

For instance,
while at a family gathering,

your brother-in-law informs
you that his company, eh...

...is about to make a major
technological breakthrough. Eh!

While acting on this tip
could make you rich, eh, eh,

you refrain from buying
the stock, eh,

because this information, eh,

gives you an unfair advantage,
eh, eh,

over other potential investors.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh!

What are you doing?

You were having the eye problems!

No! I was trying to guide you
through the shady practices

- of the business world. Eh?
- Oh. Perhaps I am not

the cut out to be the successful
business alien princess.

Don't give up, Star. All you
need is a little more practice.


I am a successful
business alien princess.

What up, the dude?

Why, it appears you have
something behind the ear.

By chance, would you care
for the box of the cookies?

Heh, heh!

Friends! I have made the sale!

Yeah, that's what's up!

Great job. Star.
We knew you could do it.

Now that I have achieved my
goal of selling the one box,

perhaps I can sell
the many more!

Listen to the me!

Shut the mouth hole
and open the ear hole now!

I do not care if the government
has opened the investigation

into my perfectly ethical
business practices! Heh, heh!

You get out there and you sell
those cookies or I will end you!

- Hey, Star. Got a minute?
- Of course.

You have exactly one minute!

We miss the old Starfire.

Yeah, that sweet little ranger
who wasn't being investigated

by the governments all the time.

Also, you jacked up the prices
of the cookies in the green box.

- We can't afford them anymore.
- The yes!

That was the secret
to building the empire.

Cornering the market on the green
box and then doubling the price!

But now that I have heard
your desperate plea,

it has made me realize

that I can triple the price
of the green boxes!

Girl, you done lost your mind!

You have to decide, Star.
Us or your cookie empire.

Fortunately, I am quite good
at making the decisions now.

So decisive.

Gah, eye contact!
Too powerful!

We's being put at ease!

- Is this your card?
- Ooh, magic.

- It's over.
- If you release me, I will share

the perfectly legal, heh, heh,
insider stock tip.

What kinda returns are we
talking about? Eh, eh?

Heh, heh!

No one can stop the successful
business alien princess.

I didn't wanna do this,

but that's the way
the cookies crumble!


Friends, you saved me from
the greed and the corruption

I learned from the innocent
youth organization.

We're glad you escaped

the clutches of
the business world, Star.

It's a shame we had to destroy
all of those delicious cookies.

Yo, what's up with
your butt, Robin?

Oh, I, uh, put on some extra
weight eating all of those cookies.

Holds up, are those...


- Get him!
- Ow, ow! Ahhh!

Whoa! Ow, ow!

Stop! Ow, too hard! Ow!

Whoa! Ow! Oh!