Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 5, Episode 18 - Business Ethics Wink Wink - full transcript


♪ T E E N T I T A N S ♪

♪ Teen Titans let's go ♪


♪ Teen Titans, go! ♪

Who's ready for some football?

Oh, yeah.

Is there the more
exciting game out there?

It's got a big play!

- And the bone-crushing of the hits!
- And butt slaps!

And the players celebrate
after every play,

no matter how insignificant.

I just sent an email!

We love football!

Did someone say...

- Futbol?
- Dude, not Fut Bol.

With a "W."

- Foot...
- Bawl!

- Soccer is boring.
- The mere mention

of the word makes the eyes
glaze and the mouth snore.

Oh, actually, soccer...

Soccer isn't boring.
Football is boring.

There are endless stoppages for
penalties, time-outs, injuries,

challenges and commercials.

An average three-hour football

...only has 13 minutes of action.

Soccer, however...

- Soccer is not boring!
- I'm awake, I'm awake.

So, you're not gonna
watch the big game?

Sure. Of course I am.

All Americans must
watch the big game,

or be shunned as outcasts
from society.

- Whoa.
- Crime alert.

It seems someone is plotting
to attack the big game,

and they are planning to strike
at the top of the third quarter.

Who would dare to ruin
this cherished national event?

I don't know who's behind it,
but we have to stop him.

It looks like we're going
to the big game.

Titans, go!

Here's the plan.

I'm going to sneak in undetected
and look for the suspect.

Your job is to buy me time
by delaying the game.

It should be easy since
nothing happens in football.

- How are you gonna sneak in?
- This is how.

By posing as a professional
football player.

High smack.

You, er...
don't like my football player disguise?

Is that what you were going for?

Those shoulder pads make you
look like Bea Arthur.

I am not Bea Arthur!

Now huddle up.

Cyborg and Starfire will be
disguised as referees.

Beast Boy and Raven will
pretend to be sideline reporters.

You need to slow down the game

so I have time to look for suspects.

- Any questions?
- Yeah.

What were the other
Golden Girls like?

If I'm going to find
who's behind this plot,

I need to get onto the field.

Hey, man,

I just gotta get out there
and leave it all on the field.

What? You don't think
I'm a pro football player,

even though I look exactly like one?

Don't make me tackle you, bro.

Okay, man.
I tried to warn you.

Cyborg? Starfire?

Start stalling.

How will we slow down the game?

By handing out lots of
pointless penalties.

Ah, the yes. Just like the
normal game of the football.


Insufficient equipment.

Personal foul body odor.

Illegal perspiration.

Roughing the nature.

It's working. We're constantly
stopping the game and nobody cares.

Hopefully, Robin has found
the something by now.

Defense! Defense!


Defense! Defense!


Any leads yet?

I need more time.

I'm here with
the pretty boy quarterback

since he's the only player
anybody knows.

He's thrown for three TDs,
200 yards,

and he deflated four footballs.

But the most important statistic is
that fans spend more time thinking

about these pointless numbers
than their personal finances.

- That's super crazy, right?
- Uh...

Over to Beast Boy for
more pointless chatter.

Thanks, Raven.

I is here to fill time for some
of them good old sport cliches.

This team is really
playing to their strengths.

They're taking it one play at a time.

This is a game for the ages,
ladies and gentlemen.

Now, I gots to take a moment
to get super serious,

even though
we're just talking about

mens throwing a ball.



Pardon me, big fella,

but I gotta get to the field.

Wouldn't want the players
getting dehydrated

on account of low electrolytes.

- It's almost the third quarter.
- And I'm no closer to finding the suspect.

We have to keep stalling.

But how?
The halftime show is up the next.

That's it.
You can buy me more time

by turning the halftime show

into a bloated spectacle
that goes on far too long.

- So, don't change a thing?
- Not a thing.

Titans, go!
Perform a halftime show!


Hello, the city who used the
taxpayer money to subsidize this event

instead of the essential infrastructure.

Let's hear it for
unchecked greed. Whoo!

- Now, let's get...
- Crazy!

♪ A crazy, crazy good time ♪

♪ Crazy, crazy fun tonight ♪

♪ Tonight, yeah
Eh-oh, eh-oh ♪

♪ Crazy, crazy wild
Crazy, crazy hot ♪

♪ Crazy sick and wicked
Crazy fun tonight ♪

♪ Eh-oh, eh-oh ♪

I need more time.

- I didn't find anything.
- Wait, how'd you get on the field?

I... Told the guard
I was Bea Arthur.


The third quarter is about to start.

Oh, no, the villain's attack is upon us.

Soccer trolls.


King Goal.
I should have known.

That's right.
You ruined football for us,

so I'm going to ruin football for you.

You monster!
Football brings people together.

It generates money
for the local economies.

And it's the perfect excuse
to avoid the family on Sunday.

Why would you do
this terrible thing?

Why wouldn't we?
People say soccer is boring,

but at least soccer players
run around a lot.

Football is just slapping butts
and celebrating for no reason.

I don't disagree with you, Goal,

but I can't let you
get away with this.

Then we'll settle this on the field.

If we win, American football
will cease to exist,

and there will only be
one true football.

- And if we win, you never return.
- Game on.


We can't beat him. They're
good at all the boring sports.

Boring. That's it.

The only way to defeat them
is to bore them off the field.

Let's show them just how little
happens in American football.

Hut one, hut two,
hut, hut, hut!

Hut, hut!

Sixty-two, 62 squiggy,
squiggy one, squiggy one,

125, 1256 pie!

- Just hike the ball.
- Oklahoma.

Highway 6.
Highway 6 on the what...

Oh, yeah.

Why are you celebrating?
Get on with it!

Oh, we's gonna get on with it, fool.

Butt slaps!

This is boring!
You're spending more time

celebrating and slapping
butts than playing the game.

- That's foot...
- Bawl!

Hut, hut, hut!

Sixty-one, two!
Hut, hut! Hut, three!

Enough! I can't take it.
You win.

Keep your boring sport.

Let's get out of here before we
have to watch any more football.

That's right, baby!
Get outta here!

We saved the big game.

I think this calls for some
pointless celebration, baby!

Slap my butt, slap your butt.

I slap your butt,
you slap my butt.