Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 5, Episode 15 - How's This For a Special? Spaaaace - Part 1 - full transcript

After receiving a galactic crime alert, the Titans take off for an epic space adventure.


♪ T E E N T I T A N S ♪

♪ Teen Titans let's go ♪


♪ Teen Titans, go! ♪

Titans, crime alert!

Yep, that's what it is.

Then it means there is a
crime we're being alerted to.

Then, will you please tell it
to alert someone else?

This isn't
an everyday crime alert,

- it's a galactic crime alert.
- Ooh, a galactic crime alert.

- Big whoop.
- We ain't gots time for no galactics, fool.

Okay. I guess no one wants
to battle Darkseid in space.

- Did you say Darkseid?
- Did you say space?

Did you say battle
Darkseid in space?

I said all
of those things, Titans.

Which means we are going on a...

Captain's log.

- Whoo-hoo!
- Raven, I am your father.

Why are you dressed like bums?

- We are dashing space rogues, dude.
- That's right.

Our moral compass
ain't exactly pointing north,

but we's do the right thing
when the time comes.

Now, let's get to our
awesome space adventure.

With the laser sword
and the magical space wizards.


This isn't one of those
space adventures.

This is a slow-paced,

thought-provoking journey
through the cosmos.

He... ey!

Why's you want to provoke
our thoughts?

The other kind of space
adventure sounds way more fun.

It is. But those are
too exciting for me,

as I learned in a galaxy
not so far away.

Oh! Oh, my! I can't believe
no one's hitting me

despite how slow
and awkward I am. Aah!

Ever since then, I've
preferred my space adventures

to be calm, orderly,
and follow a strict code.

Only you could
make space exploration boring.

Thank you, Raven.

Now, please, put on
your cool space onesies.

There is nothing cool
about a onesie, dude.

It's cool. And it
represents a set of ideals

- we, as humans, strive for.
- I ain't wearing a onesie.

You will respect that onesie!

Very well. We will wear the
unflattering nylon pajamas.

Now, each of these uniforms

identifies your role on this ship.

Cyborg, you will handle navigation,

Raven will be in-charge of security,

and Starfire will handle communications.

- Uh, why's mine red?
- Oh, red means you're expendable.

It also hides blood.

- Uh, why is that important?
- You'll see.

And, as the ship's captain,

I have to sit
in this comfortable chair

- and order you guys around. Titans...
- Yes, Robin?

Uh, please call me Captain.

- No.
- Understood. I need a little theme music

while I dramatically
look out into the cosmos.

What's you
talking about, fool?

You know, something elegant
and inspiring, like...

Do it, or I'll turn
this ship around right now,

and no one will get
their space adventure!

I can't take it!

This is supposed to be
a fun space adventure.

But you gave us a bunch of
boring desk jobs instead.

Robin, we are
receiving the transmission.

Put it up on the monitor.

Ah, Robin, my old adversary.
We meet again.

The pleasure's all yours, Darkseid.

You're on a fool's errand.

It will be your funeral!

It will be yours!

Oh, boy. This is intense.

Maybe this kind of space adventure
isn't so boring after all.

You are violating
galactic code 734-242.

I will not let you move
apocalypse into our system,

knowing it's going to block

all of the wealthy homeowners'
views of the galaxy.

Robin, did you seriously
drag us all the way out here

to settle a simple zoning dispute?

Those rich space homeowners
are really upset!

And if we don't enforce
the galactic code,

the universe will fall into chaos,

and these onesies won't mean anything.

Respect the onesies!

You're not going to get
away with this, Darkseid.

And what are you
going to do to stop me?

Should you refuse to back
down, I will have no choice

but to bring this matter before
the Galactic City Council.

You should know
I can be very persuasive.

I have much experience in
government on the local level.

Then, I will see you at the next
galactic city council meeting.

Robin out.

Wow! My heart is racing.

Ugh. I can't believe we're
going to a government meeting.

I know! And if we're lucky, they might
also discuss tariffs and trade routes.

Even you fans of the other
type of space adventure

- can appreciate that.
- No, we can't.

Robin, it appears we have picked up

a mom named Lee, on our sensors.

No, it's an anomaly.
Pull it up on screen.

It appears to be
some kind of probe.

Yes! Finally something
we can blow up!

No one's blowing anything up.

We are going to study that probe.

And write a detailed report.

Oh, boy! Now, what
this space adventure lacks

in explosions and excitement,

it'll make up for
in intellectual delights!

Hmm. There appear to be
some strange markings.

Oh, my goshness! Did something
exciting just really happen?

I think so. I think something
exciting just happened.

- Robin must be the avenged!
- We have to kill the probe.

Then, let's get out of these
onesies and do some avenging.

Where am I?

You're home, honey.

No, there has been a mistake.

I am a captain of the
Titans Tower starship.

Oh. You must have had
quite the fall.

Maybe your favorite trombone
will help you remember.

One second,
I'm on a starship,

and the next, I'm somehow
transported to a primitive planet

which hasn't invented space travel.

Well, I'll figure out a way back.

I'm sure whatever happens here
is certain to be mildly exciting.

Hey, honey. I've almost
completely given up

on returning to my other life
as a dashing space captain.

Good, 'cause I'm pregnant.

Will you kids keep it down?

I'm trying to practice my trombone.

Sure is hot today.

Because the sun's dying.
Hope it was a good life.

A good life? No.

But, at least I learned
to play the trombone.

Stop! You don't know
what you're doing.

We're destroying this probe
for killing you.

This probe is all that remains
of a forgotten alien civilization.

Even though I was only
unconscious for a moment,

I lived a long, unremarkable life,

and was able to learn all
about their boring culture.

- So what? Smash it!
- Oh, yeah!


I, uh... I can't believe it!

Holds up! Are you saying this
stupid thing is a music teacher?

Well, I guess. But the
deeper meaning of this probe

- was to communi...
- I want to learn to play something.

- Yeah!
- It's not about music!

- It's about appreciating...
- Free music lesson!

Booyah! I can play bass.

And I master
the double-neck guitar.

I learnt to play
the jug of the hobo.

And I knows how to play
the keyboard, yo.

Stop playing that music!

This was supposed to be a
momentary intellectual diversion.

We need to get to that
space council meeting.

Oh, for real?
That's so boring.

Oh, the dull.
The dull, the tedium.

Can we, at least, get there
in an exciting way?

Ooh! Perhaps we can
take the shortcut

through the field of the asteroids.

Ooh, that's actually very dangerous.

Dangerous? That sounds like
it could be an awesome...

Oh, yeah!

Too exciting. Can't control
the pitch of my voice!

Oh, dear,
we must turn around.

No way, fool, this is sick!

The odds of successfully
navigating an asteroid field

are 85 million to one.

We do not have time for
the math quiz, friend Robin.

Our ship is about to explode.

Oh, dear. Oh!
Oh, heavens!

Shield's at 50%.

Yo, that is not good,
but it's super fun!

Shield's at 20%.
10%. 5%.

We're going to die!

Space adventure!


Dude, relax.

This space adventure
is going to get us killed.

Well, yours was gonna
bore us to death anyway.

Let us explode them with
the booms and the kabooms.

Boom! Boom!

Oh, yeah.

Space adventure!

Let's do it again, yo.

Absolutely not!
Now get your onesies back on!


Remember, Titans,
our priority is Darkseid.

So what, we just have
to sit here bored?

These space adventures
are never boring.

This ship has a multitude
of gentle, intellectual,

sci-fi activities to
tantalize the mind. Follow me.

We can meet our evil doubles
in the Reflection Universe.

We are the evil versions of you.

- You can tell by our facial hair.
- Facial hair be so evil, yo.

The mwah, ha, ha, ha, ha.

The sci-fi concept
of parallel universes

and opposite versions of ourselves.

Tell me that doesn't
get you all... fired up.


Look at these adorable
alien creatures.

Who wants to listen
to their soothing purr?

Oh, yes.
That's some good purring.


We can study the habits
of space babes.

They look exactly like humans
but they're green.

- The pass.
- Pass.

I'm actually
kinda down with that.

Me too.
I is also green as it were.

- The pass!
- Pass.

I suppose no one
wants to become immersed

in a virtual reality
hologram chamber,

limited only by your imagination.

- Ooh, that actually sounds cool.
- Really?

You think something on this
space adventure sounds cool?

Oh, yeah, boy, we's love
some virtual realities.

Great. Then prepare to
enter a world of wonder.

Computer, recreate
19th century London.

- Come on, man.
- What?

You can create
anything imaginable,

and you pick
19th century London?

The London?!

I's so mad right now.

This is an opportunity to adopt
carefully cultivated personas

in order to solve the murder
of Lady Hathaway.

I'm Lord Bismarck Wellington,

a moderately successful
textile manufacturer.

How about we do something
interesting instead?

Yo, yo, yo, yo,
Computer, listen up.

I wants you to make a fart monster.

Now we're talking. Ooh, what
if we gave him two butts?

Yeah, Computer,
you heard my man,

give me a fart monster
with two booties.

Computer, do not create

a fart monster with two booties.

- Aw.
- Now, please.

Everyone, get into character.

Over there is our main suspect.

If we can't stop him, he will
get away with his...

Raven, what are you doing?

Don't worry about it.

What is that?

Lady Hathaway is
counting on us to avenge her.

I thinks that fart monster's
got that covered, bruh.

The hologram chamber

is not to be used
for low-brow entertainment.

Computer, fire axe, please.


Since you refuse to enjoy the slow,

thoughtful pace of this adventure,
we are just going to sit quietly

until we arrive
at the Space Council meeting.

Dramatic music.

Warp speed, Cyborg.

It's all been
building up to this, Titans.

The Space Council meeting.

Are you ready to clash
with Darkseid?

There's not gonna
be any clash, dude.

There will be a clash, all right.

A clash of ideas,
and opposing viewpoints.

That's not a clash.
That's talking.

And we's just wants to shoot some
lasers into some bad guys' faces!

I'll be using a far more dangerous
weapon than lasers, words.

The boo, I say.

Boo, boo.

The Galactic Zoning Board

will now discuss the motion
to allow Darkseid

to move planet Apokolips
into our solar system.

Distinguished members
of the Council,

I'm here to warn you against a con,

the greatest con
this galaxy has ever seen.

Darkseid has a reputation
for destroying countless worlds,

and feeding on psychic despair.

But the real issue is the
obstruction of your scenic views.

And if he gets away with this,

your property values will...

There is nothing more
important to this Council

than our property values.
How do you respond, Darkseid?

A rousing speech, Robin.
But I have something you don't.

Visual aids!

- No. No!
- Lights, please.

Here you will see your vistas,

which are very beautiful, by the way,
will be obstructed only twice,

that's right, just twice
a year by Apokolips orbit.

Now, I recognize
that this may be a nuisance

to some homeowners,
which is why

I plan to compensate
each of them with gift baskets.

Do these gift baskets contain pastries?

A gift basket with no pastries
is no gift basket at all, is it?

- Motion approved.
- No! Can't you see it's a con?

It's a con.
A con!

And now that I've overcome
this procedural hurdle,

there's nothing stopping me
from destroying this galaxy!

I knews we should've shot him
in the face with a laser.

Cyborg, teleport us.

But things are finally getting good.

Teleport us!

Are you feeling bad a whole
galaxy is about to be destroyed

'cause you had to have one of
your boring space adventures?

I really thought I could save the day
through subtle intellectual discourse.

Nope, explosions is always
the answer in space.

The boom.
The boom, boom, kabooms.

I know that now.
Unfortunately, it's too late.

No, it's not.
We can still stop Darkseid.

It's just going to take
a different kind of...

Space adventure!

Good luck.
The galaxy is depending on you.

You're, you're not coming?

You know what happens to me
on those types of adventures.

But your anxiety and cowardice
will make the rest of us look cooler,

and provide some of that
good comedy relief.

It's not a real space adventure
without a wets blanket.

Then I'm in.

According to my analysis,
if we can disable the shield,

we should be able to destroy
Apokolips with a single proton missile.

Oh, but to disable the shield,
we have to beam on to the planet.

That sounds very dangerous.

- Oh! Oh, my! Oh, my!
- That is the spirits.

Oh, dear.

The odds of getting past those
guards are 3,983,444 to one.

- So we's probably gonna die?
- Almost certainly.

That sounds super exciting.
Let's do it.

All right.

All right.

Great job shuffling around in a panic.

Oh, I, I can't, I can't even...

Come on, we've gotta
shut down those shields.

- Darkseid be coming this way.
- I have an idea.

But it is to take
something we learned

while being boring and thoughtful.

Find those rebels and destroy them.

It's the Titans, Lord Darkseid.

- Nah... it can't be them.
- I'm pretty sure it's them.

Well, the resemblance is undeniable

but that kind of musical skill
can only be achieved

by an uninteresting
lifetime of practice.

Keep searching.

- Oh, it worked.
- Now let's power down them shields, yo.

- Fire the proton missile.
- The boom!

Look at it, look at it.

Oh, wow.
What an exciting space adventure.

We couldn't have done
it if we didn't have

that encounter with
that boring space probe.

I guess there is a place for
both types of space adventures.

Cyborg, set a course for Earth.

Shortcut through the asteroid field.