Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 4, Episode 33 - Classic Titans - full transcript

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

The burritos...
...are out of control, Baby Jack!

We should've
listened to that donkey.

There's only one way
to deal with burritos.

Eat 'em!

Love it. Classic.

Babies vs Dogs is such
an awesome show, yo.

It is the fun!

It's hysterical.

It's inventive.

It's garbage!

Control Freak?

What's the meaning of this,
you sanctimonious sofa spud?

Well, you were praising
something that I find atrocious.

So, I'm here to ruin your enjoyment
of it by pointing out its flaws.


The colors are so bright,

it's like a rainbow puked
all over the screen.

Come on!

They're supposed to be heroes

but all they do is tell jokes!

Well, like you're an authority...

And speaking of jokes,

the humor is random
and not funny at all.


I feel bad for kids today.

Superhero cartoons used to be
so much better.

They had everything.
Action, adventure, drama.

Actually, those old superhero
cartoons were terrible.

People only watched them because
there was nothing else on TV.

You Philistines!

I won't waste my breath
explaining to you

why classic superhero
cartoons are superior.

I'll show you.

Make way for the Teen Titans.

A quintet of triumphant
teenage talent.

Robin, boy wonder

with a multitude
of glorious gadgets.

Cyborg, a mighty mixture
of machine and man.

Raven, a mystical magician.

Beast Boy, the missing link between man and beast.

And Starfire, fast and strong
alien warrior princess.

A fearless fivesome
fighting crime in their prime.

They are the Teen Titans. Go!

We're in the tower
but it's been altered.

Holy hard drives, so have we.

Our heads are proportional
to our bodies now.

But I can only
move my head and arms.

Only the eyes and the mouth
are doing the movements.

Suffering servos, me too.

Why do you keep saying stuff
like "suffering servos," Cyborg?

I don't know, I'm trying to
say other stuff but I can't.

Galloping gigawatts.

Flying fiber optics.

Our appearance, movement, and
speech have all been altered.

Ooh, lookin' good.

Like real superheroes.

What have you done to us,
you wretched rapscallion?

I've put you in the very first
Teen Titans cartoon.

When you clowns used to be good!

If it's so good,
why can we barely move?

Because the budgets
for old cartoons were so low,

they didn't have the money
for fancy animation.

It has a certain charm, don't you think?

I can only
turn into one animal, yo.

Release us or suffer
the consequences.

Not until you've learned to appreciate
the quality of this classic cartoon.

Enjoy your adventure, Titans.

I think this is going to be
your best episode to date.

Freak out.

Curses! We must
escape this place.

I wish to move more
of the body parts.

Me, too.

I'm sick of just turning
my head side to side.

You heard Control Freak.

Our only escape is to
play out this adventure.

But how will we know when
the adventure is to begin?

Suddenly Titans Tower
finds itself under attack

by strange flying beasts.

Shivering shock absorbers,

we're under attack by dinosaurs!

And I thought things couldn't
get any worse.

Don't worry, gang.

A stun Birdarang will bring these
overgrown pigeons down to Earth.

Looks like they're headed to a
mysterious island in unchartered waters.

Let's follow them
in the T-Jet, gang.

And so the Teen Titans find themselves

en route to a mysterious island
in search of the robot dinosaurs.

Hey, who said that?

That's the narrator.

He explains things
to the audience.

Dancing diodes, isn't that
just lazy storytelling?

The narrator
took offense at this comment.

It is not lazy storytelling.

He is setting the mood.

Nah, you's bein' lazy.

Every writer knows you are
supposed to do the showing

and not the telling.

How do you show
with a limited budget?

These stories would make no
sense if I weren't here,

explaining everything.

I am not the problem.

I am the glue
holding everything together.

The narrator stopped
defending himself

because the Titans had arrived
at the mysterious island.

Golly, gosh, gee,
gosh, gosh, gosh, gee.

This island is the big.

We still need to
find those dinosaurs.

I'll used my dinosaur
tracking Birdarang.

You have one of those?

Of course.

Wow, everything is really
convenient in this story.

It's that way.

And so, the Titans find
themselves at the lair of the dinosaurs.

How would you know that
if I didn't tell you, hmm?

You're welcome.

Be quiet, Titans.

We need to remain undetected.

The Titans
quietly entered the...

- I said quiet!
- Sorry.

And I thought things
couldn't get any worse.

Welcome to your doom,

You must be
the one-dimensional villain

that will never be seen again
after this episode.

I am Doctor Otto von Death,

and I am anything
but one-dimensional.

You see, I've created
a dinosaur army

which I plan to launch
all over the world

using my rocket.

And like the asteroids that rained
down and wiped out the dinosaurs,

so too will my dinosaur army rain
down and wipe out the human race.

Sure doesn't get more
one-dimensional than that.

I am not one-dimensional!

Then tell us why you wants to destroy
the world with dinosaurs, yo.


Not easy to say exactly.

I grew up a strange boy
not like the rest.

It wasn't easy.
I wanted a normal life.

Went to college, got
married, had kids, you know.

But these days, my wife is always on
my case about something or the other.

My daughter moved to
Colorado with her boyfriend.

Said she couldn't live another day in my house.

My son isn't working
or going to school.

He just sits in his room
on the computer all day.

I don't even know
what he's doing in there.

On top of all this, I was turned
down for term life insurance

because of my high cholesterol.

So, I suppose all of this
end of the human race stuff

is really just a reflection of my
desire to put an end to my own misery.

Bubbling backstory.
That's some depth.

Oh, give me a break, Otto.

So life dealt you a crummy hand.
Get over it.

Now you sound like my wife.

It's time I put an end
to you pests.

Now, to launch
my dinosaur rocket

and destroy the world!

Oh, no.

How are the Teen Titans going to
get themselves out of this one?

Shall we the go?

Oh, right.

The heroes always escape
these death traps.

We've got a world to save.

Titans, go!

Stop right there.

Ah, the Teen Titans?

We are putting an end
to this experiment.

Not if my T-rex
puts an end to you first.

Oh, oh, oh! It looks like we're
headed for an epic climax!

Let's do it, Titans!

An ice Birdarang
should down this dino!

A fire Birdarang
should down this dino!

An electric Birdarang
should down this dino!

- An...
- Ah! Enough with the Birdarangs already.

My turn.

- Is that all?
- I gots this.

Time for the big guns, yo.

Here we go!

Oh, I was hoping you would turn
into something more impressive.

- I shall destroy the dinosaur!
- Ooh!

Ah! This is so disappointing.

You were right, Titans.

These old superhero cartoons
are hard to watch now.

But on a positive note,

it looks like that T-rex is going
to destroy you once and for all!

Think again.


Go get'em, boys.

I used to think the character
design of those babies was stupid.

But now I realize their simplicity
enables them to be much more expressive!

Ow, ow, ow.

The animation on those dogs
is very interesting.

Let's get out of here, gang.

We did it, team.

- Yeah!
- Woof, woof!

We's back, yo.

I learned something
today, Titans.

Not everything old is good.
Not everything new is bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it.

Now back to Babies
vs Dogs all day marathon!