Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 4, Episode 19 - Hand Zombie - full transcript

After Starfire kisses Robin's hand he becomes obsessed with not washing it so he covers it with a plastic bag not knowing what effects it might have on his hand.

♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

Oh, man!

Ha... Ha-ha.

Listen up, Titans.

Today, we need
to address an issue

that all of you have
been neglecting.

Personal hygiene.

When it comes
to personal hygiene,

there are four main
problem areas.

Hair, face, teeth and hands,

which you can remember
with this simple acronym.

Say it with me.


Beast Boy, you need to do a better
job keeping your hair clean.

That includes fur.

You's asking too much
of me, fool.

Cyborg, you need
to wash your face more.

It's very oily.

Because I oil it.
My face is half robot, man.

I gotta lubricate.

Raven, you need
to brush your teeth more.

You have bad breath.

I have evil breath.

And last,
but certainly not least,


You, uh, know I don't like
finding fault with you,

but we've got one more problem
area left to talk about.


Come on, let's see them.

They're spotless.

Indeed. I have been
washing the hands quite often.

Excellent. At least one of you understands
the importance of keeping germs at bay.

Oh, you misunderstand.

I have been washing the hands

in the event that an evil witch casts a spell upon me

and a handsome prince must kiss my hand

to wake me from the slumber
and rescue me from the tower.


I cannot approve of that.

Hands are filthy appendages.

Kissing them is a surefire
way to spread disease.

But it is the most brief
of lip-to-hand contact.

Allow me to demonstrate
by kissing upon your hand.


I approve of that.

Baby hands!

This is my destiny.

I will never wash this hand again.

Okay, what about all that stuff
you just said about hygiene?

None of that applies
to hands kissed by Starfire.

Precious, precious kiss.

I promise to protect you.

Bro's, you gonna get mad stinky.

Yeah. How are you gonna take a shower
without getting your hand wet?

I'll bag it.

Good evening, Titans.

Ooh, crispy tots.

Robin, it's been three months and
you still haven't washed your hand.


We are concerned that your hand has
become hygienically-challenged.


The hand is bagged at all times.

And the rubber band around my
wrist makes an airtight seal.

That airtight seal is just
trapping germs in there.

Indeed. You have created the environment
in which the bacterium flourish.

Bro, your hand is probably gonna
fall off from all those bacteriums.

That's ridiculous.
My hand isn't going to fall off.

It was perfectly clean
when I put it in the bag.

Therefore, it must still
be perfectly clean.

Prove it.
Take off the bag.

Break the seal?
Are you crazy?

I can't risk exposing the kiss.

Take off the bag!
Take off the bag!

Take off the bag!
Take off...

Okay, okay.
I'll show you.

See? It's fine.

Dude, your hand just fell off!

No. No, no, no, no, no!
This is terrible!

I love that hand!

Now all I have is this worthless left one.

Don't look at me like that.
You know how I feel.

It's okay, dude. Lots of cool
guys only have one hand.

Like Rick Allen, or a pirate or...
Did that thing just move?

My hand... It's alive.

True love's kiss...

Of course! It's the only
thing that makes sense.

Because Starfire is a princess,

her true love's kiss must have
awakened my hand from its slumber.

It's probably moving because it's
infected by so much bacteria.

Like a hand zombie.

It's just a matter of time before that hand zombie tries to eat someone's brains.

That's not a hand zombie!

It's fairy tale magic.

Therefore, I will never wash it,
whether it is attached to me or not.

Dude, it's just a
mindless hand zombie.

Oh, yeah?
Hand, do a flip.

Can a mindless
hand zombie do that?

Gee, I don't know, I've never
seen a hand zombie before.

Crime alert.

Mind lending a "hand"?

Titans, and hand, go!

We'll "handle" this one.

Nice. Pound it.

Such martial prowess.


Too close.

That water could've rinsed
Starfire's kiss off.

The enchantment that gives
you life would disappear.

Again, there's no enchantment.
It's a hand zombie.

We need to be more careful.
Here, let's get you back in the bag.

Hey, you're my hand
and I say, get in the bag.

Such confidence.

Fine. If you're not
going in the bag,

just stay away from water,
soap, anti-bacterial gel,

moist towelettes or anything else that might
wash away the kiss that brings you life.



Hey, have you guys seen my hand?

The magic one, not this one.

- I think it's in the shower.
- The shower?

Hand! You'd better be
wearing a bag in there.

If you washed off
Starfire's kiss...



Starfire's kiss
has been washed away.

Now you will fade back
into eternal slumber.

Rest gently, dear friend.

Rest now.

Why aren't you resting gently?

Hand, are you prepared?

Prepared, for what?

Hand and I have
the date tonight.

You and my hand have a date?

- You and my hand have a date?
- Yes.

We have the mutually reciprocating
feelings of the romance.

- You and my hand?
- Yes.

You and my hand...

- Yes.
- Are going on a date?

- That is correct.
- You and my hand?

- Yes.
- You and my hand?


- Can I come?
- No.

I am sorry, Robin. But three is
a number that is often crowded.

You makes a beautiful couple.

You kids have fun now!

So happy for you.

You guys knew about this?

- It was kinda obvious.
- Saw it coming a mile away.

Ever since that
fateful first kiss.

Oh. You could just feel the
chemistry between those two.

How could I have been so blind?

All this time I thought that
hand was an enchanted gift.

Instead, it was a...

Oh, no.
Star's in trouble.

Thank you, the hand.

I really have
to "hand" it to you.

You had us all fooled.

Robin, please, do not
ruin the pleasant evening

with the jealouses
and the hand puns.

Star, that hand
didn't want a date.

It wants your brain.

It's a hand zombie!

Hand-to-hand combat, it is.

You've left me no other choice.

I'm biting a hand that feeds me.

No! Not the brain!


You saved our brains.

That hand of yours was planning
on going after all of us.

I'm sorry, Titans.

I put fairy tales ahead of hygiene and
unknowingly let my hand become a zombie.

I'll never let it happen again.

But you did the savings
of my brain.

Please, allow me
to express the gratitude.

Bag it!