Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 4, Episode 16 - The Gold Standard - full transcript

The Titans are determined to find out what happened to the missing two o'clock hour during Daylight Saving Time.


♪ T-E-E-N ♪

♪ T-I-T-A-N-S ♪

♪ Teen Titans, let's go ♪

♪ Teen Titans, go ♪

Saint Patrick's Day!

We got a St. Patrick's Day
job to do.

Catch a leprechaun.

And acquire his three wishes.

I still thinks we should be going
after his pot of gold, y'all.

Wishes are better than gold.
It's no contest.

With a wish, you can wish
your dreams to come true.

Now, come on!
Let's get to work.


This leprechaun trap
is diabolical, yo.

From a distance, that dirty
leprechaun be attracted by sparkles.

He's put at ease by the
rainbow and shamrock stickers.

Then he'll climb
up the pretzel stick ladder,

traipse carelessly across
the cotton ball clouds,

fall into the box and snap!

We got ourselves a leprechaun!

Uh! And then he gots
to give us them wishes, y'all.

- Oh, yeah. That's right!
- Catch him, catch him...

- Chop, chop...
- Guys!

There is no way this thing
is gonna catch a leprechaun...


...without bait!


Leprechaun's can't
resist gold, remember?

I wonder why they have this such
intense love of the yellow metal.

I bet it's 'cause gold is used
to determine the value of money.

You're thinking of the gold standard,
a fixed exchange rate regime

in which the official exchange
rate is tied to the price of gold.

We haven't been on the
gold standard for decades.

Oh! Then they probably
likes it 'cause it's shiny.

Shh! Quiet!

- I see one.
- Quick. Hide.

I think he's going for it.

Oh, yeah!

Wow! We actually caught one.

He is thus, so tiny.

I'm the height of
an average person.

We's trapped you.

So give us our wishes, fool.

I'm not a leprechaun anymore.

Once a leprechaun,
always a leprechaun.

Wishes. Now!

Request for wishes, denied.

Continue to refuse us, and you
shall lawfully receive...

...the pinches.

You wouldn't.


- Stop it.
- Pinch.

Come on, guys!



Tell me your wishes, three.

First wish, we want hats.


The second wish,
we want the hats to be...

...the sideways.


Oh! This is the Fresh Dope.

The Fresh Dope Style.

It's like, my face is going this
way, but my hat is going that way.


Just make your last wish.

I don't want to spend any more time
as a leprechaun than I have to.

How comes you don't like
being a leprechaun, bro?

Because it's terrible.

The compulsion to fix shoes
day and night.

Not to mention, people always
trying to steal your cereal,

when you just want to
eat breakfast in peace.

And worst of all,

you become obsessed with gold.

I like gold.

Tell me that after your back goes out
carrying a 200 pound pot of gold, every day.

It is only through
my powerful mental fortitude

that I can repress my leprechaun
urges, and live a normal life.

What's a normal life when you can
ride rainbows and have a pot of gold?

I wish I was a leprechaun.

Wish granted.

Oh! Sick, dude.

Check out my beard.

Oh, and my shoes.

Buckle me shoes, yo.

You little goof, you
messed up that last wish.

Yeah, we were gonna wish our hats
all the way backwards, remember?

And now they are just stuck
only the sideways.

Forget the hats, yo.
I'm a leprechaun, now.

That means we can do all
that sick leprechaun business,

without having to catch Robin.

You mean, you can hook us up
with rainbows and corned beef?


I'ma live that
leprechaun life, son!

♪ Living that, living that, leprechaun life ♪

♪ I'm living that leprechaun life ♪

♪ I got that shillelagh ♪

♪ Rainbow riding, baby ♪

♪ Dancing up on this tree,
stomping, no stopping me ♪

♪ Corned, corned beef
Cabbage corned, corned beef ♪

♪ Cabbage corned, corned beef

♪ Cabbage corned, corned beef ♪
♪ Cabbage ♪

♪ I'm living that leprechaun life ♪

♪ I'm living that leprechaun life ♪

♪ I'm living that, living that
living that leprechaun life! ♪

Mmm. So then Beast Boy brings
us to this enchanted meadow.

We all up on these
tree stumps, dancing.

Oh, man. It was awesome.

Mmm. Sounds like
a magical adventure.

Aww. Mad because you were wrong about
leprechaun life being terrible?

- I am not.
- Whoo!

If I was that wrong,
I would be Superman.

Like all veins
popping out, sweaty.

You know what I'm talking about.

I am not angry.

And I am not wrong!
You'll see.

You'll see what a leprechaun
life is really about.

Friend Beast Boy.
What are you doing?

Don't you know?
This cereal is mine.

It's wonderful, and magical
and super tasty.

Why would a leprechaun
care about cereal?

Come on, give it back?

Nobody eats me cereal.

Dude, just give us the cereal.

Nobody eats me cereal!

Your shoes look busted.

- They look fine to me.
- Na-ah-ah.

Your back seams are all frayed.
Look at those busted insoles.

You're gonna have fallen arches.

Dude, our shoes are fine.

Let me cobble them shoes.

- Oh! Cobble, cobble, cobble.
- Ah!

Cobble, cobble, cobble.


Leprechaun life.

I don't care if he repaired my insoles.
Taking a dude's feet off,

that just ain't right.

We've been robbed!

What criminal fiend
would dare steal from us?

Hey, I ain't no fiend.
I'm a leprechaun.

And I just sold
all of that junk.

Dude, you sold
all our stuff for cash?


Why would
a leprechaun want cash?

I traded it for gold.

He's been overtaken by the
leprechaun's lust for gold.

Hmm. Yes.

Oh, shiny, shiny.

But you can't have any.
It's mine! All mine!

We don't want your gold, fool.

Well, you should.
I'm getting us back
on the gold standard.

What is exactly this
golden standard?

It's the monetary system where paper
money gets value directly related to gold,

you dummies. You tell me a dollar is worth
25 and eight-tenths grains of gold.

We all know, what's what.
But that dirty President Nixon, back in '71

unilaterally took the entire
country off the standard.

And ever since then, we've
been based on the dollar value

on a freely floating
exchange rate!

The money ain't tied
to a specific item of value.

And it's all make believe numbers
and market manipulations.

But now, me and my gold will
be safe from financial ruin.

How do you like that,
President Nixon?

Back on the standard, baby.

Beast Boy has escaped over the rainbow and
into the federal Reserve Bank of Jump City.

He truly is attempting
to restore the gold standard.

Not on my watch.

We need to catch him.
Secure his three wishes.

And use one to release him
from the leprechaun curse.

But to beat a leprechaun,
we must become leprechauns.

Ready, lads and lasses?


Har, yes.

Gonna fix that
exchange rate, son.

Beast Boy!

We can still
end this peacefully.

When I'm about to stabilize
the value of currency?

No way!

It won't stabilize anything.
It's all arbitrary.

The value of gold can be manipulated
by those who produce it.

What! Why would that worry me
when I gots all the gold.

Your unilaterally moving the economy
back onto the gold standard.

Don't you see? If you do this,

you're no better than Nixon.

Did you just call me Nixon?

Penny pincher!

Buckle me shoe!


Four-spirits clover!


Fair and square.

Tell me your wishes, three.

First wish, we want hats.

Now make them the sideways.

Give us those backwards. Ow!

Stop that!
You're wasting the wishes.

We wish you were
Beast Boy again.

Oh, thanks Robin.

Man, you weren't kidding.
Leprechaun life is hard.

Can't believe I almost messed
up the economy, y'all.

Happens to the best of us.
Come on. Let's go home.

We can discuss the advantages of a
floating exchange rate regime on the way.

I'll show you, Nixon.