Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 25 - Pyramid Scheme - full transcript

Beast Boy starts making tons of cash thanks to a pyramid scheme and convinces the other Titans to join in.

"Pyramid Scheme"

Beast Boy, your sadness is
leaking from your eyeholes.

It's just...

I can't afford the birthday
present Cyborg really wants!

Wait, haven't we been
through this before?

And besides, my birthday
is like months away.

If I don't get him
an expensive gift,

- it can ruin our friendship.
- That's not true!

What kind of person
do you think I am?

Yeah, yeah, this has
definitely happened before.

You guys know how much he
loves expensive gifts.

- You're making me sound like a monster!
- I have to gets a job,

so I can afford the expensive
presents Cyborg wants!

You don't! You really don't!

Let me guess, Beast Boy, you're
going to get a job at the pie shop.

I ain't getting a job
at the pie shop.

I'm gonna make money
the easy way.

- Check it!
- Wait.

This is a pyramid scheme!

Whoa, pyramid, as in mummies?

I'm not sure you should
do business with mummies.

Not that kind of pyramid!

A pyramid scheme is an
unsustainable business model,

that promises payments to
participants, based on

the amount of additional people
they enroll in the business,

instead of focusing on the sale of
goods or services to the public.

- Ah! - Oh...
- Mmm-hmm.

As you can see here, the exponential
growth of the "business",

will eventually cause the
entire operation to collapse,

leaving the participants at the
bottom of the pyramid bankrupt,

while those at the
top walk away rich.

- Thus, the name "pyramid scheme".
- Interesting.

I do have the question.

Did the mummies
build the pyramids?

There are no mummies! It's
not a literal pyramid!

My point is there's no
such thing as easy money.

- You need to earn it with hard labor.
- Ew, no way!

Hard labor is for criminals
and pregnant ladies.

But, if you lives on the
top with the mummy,

- you can get rich!
- Well, technically, yes, but...

Cyborg is gonna get the most
expensive present ever!

Just give me a card.

Cough up that dough!

- What are you doing to Beast Boy?
- He was eating a cash salad,

and I refuse to stand by and
watch money being wasted.

- Cash salad? Any good?
- Hmm, not really.

I just gots more money
than I can spend,

so I am thinking of new
ways to use it, check it!

♪ Well, I bought a gold boat ♪

♪ Bought a gold star ♪

♪ Bought a gold bear ♪

♪ Put him in a gold car ♪

♪ Bought a gold fridge ♪

♪ Filled it with
some gold food ♪

♪ Bought a gold me I
call him the gold dude ♪

♪ I'm makin' that money ♪

♪ That pyramid mummy money ♪

♪ I'm makin' money ♪

♪ That pyramid scheme money ♪

♪ Makin' that money ♪

♪ The pyramid mummy money ♪

♪ I'm making money ♪

♪ The pyramid scheme money ♪

- ♪ I stack my money brick
by brick ♪ - ♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Check my gold fronts ♪

♪ I go lick, lick, lick ♪

♪ Need a new wallet 'cause
my money don't fit ♪

♪ Bought a gold bomb that
go tick, tick, tick ♪

♪ Makin' that money ♪

♪ That pyramid mummy money ♪

♪ I'm making money ♪

♪ That pyramid scheme money ♪

♪ Makin' that money ♪

♪ That pyramid mummy money ♪

♪ I'm makin' money ♪

♪ That pyramid scheme money ♪


Here's your birthday
present, by the way.

- Ooh, sparkly!
- So, where did you get all this cash?

From the pyramid scheme, yo!

I signed up and now
I'm a money sheriff.


What is the money sheriff?

It's kind of like being
president of your own company,

but with a badge.

We want to wear
badges and eat money!

You want in, huh? Well,
it's super easy.

- First, give me $100.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You don't give money
to make money!

That's like paying
to have a job.

And those badges are worthless.

They're just to trick you into
thinking you have some sort of status.

This is why it's called
a pyramid scheme!

- Here you go!
- I love moneys!

Great! Now, you're
my money deputies.


Reach for the sky, compadres!

- Bangs, bangs! Horse, horse!
- Yee-haw!

Lookin' good, y'all. Like you
wanna make that mummy money.

You are not cowboys,

and there are no mummies
in a pyramid scheme!

You are participating in
a fraudulent business.

What you need is honest work.
Hard labor.

I am not the prisoner!
Bang bang!

And I'm no pregnant woman.

We are cowboys, hombre!

What's next, Sheriff?

Get out there and
recruit more deputies!


- Hungry, partner?
- I'm not eating your filthy money.

Mmm, tastes real clean
to me, buckaroo.

This is disgraceful behavior.

This pyramid scheme is going
to leave you broke, Titans.

Us, big money cowboy millionaires?

Get that cash out of your mouth!
Give me that! Hurry.

No, no, no, no, don't
eat that five!

- Hey, I was still working on that!
- Sorry, ma'am.

The boss wants his cut of the
money, or we'll be six feet under.

See, only the person at the top
of the pyramid gets any money.


Oh, it's the boss!


Mummy money.

- Is that a mummy?
- Of course it is.

- And you're not surprised?
- Not particularly.

You're not wondering where
the mummy came from?!

It came from the pyramid, where
else is he supposed to come from?

Mummy money.

Uh, here you go, Mummy.

Mummy money!

- But... But, there isn't anymore!
- We ate the rest.

Mummy money!

So hot.

- Mummy money.
- Okay, okay.

This is my fault.

All because I had to
buy Cyborg the most

expensive birthday present,
he wanted so much!

Look where your materialism
has gotten us, Cyborg.

I would have been
satisfied with a hug!

I was wrong too, Beast Boy.
I thought pyramid schemes

were dangerous because you
risk losing your money.

But really, it's because
of the mummies.

Mummy money.

- Sorry, guys.
- Well, Beast Boy,

there's only one way to get
out of financial trouble.

- You mean, hard labor?
- We're already doing that, you varmint!

- The other kind of hard labor.
- Oh, the pregnant kind.

Uh-huh, I think I hear
what you're saying.

Remember to breathe, Beastie.

You're doing great!

- Keep breathing.
- Almost there.

One more push!


- Congratulations.
- Aw.

I'm a mama!


Now that you've learned
the value of hard labor,

let's get these chains off.

The key to saving ourselves was
inside Beast Boy all along.

But, what are we going to
do about all these mummies?

- Did you forget, Beast Boy?
- You're still the Sheriff.

And we are still your deputies.

Yee-haw, hombre!

I won't let you down, Sheriff.

Then, let's get along,
little doggies.

Mummy money!



Mummy money!

This, here, pyramid ain't big
enough for the both of us.

Mummy money.

Gold Bear, you crazy, dude.

Well, Titans, I hope y'all
learned about the dangers

- of pyramid schemes.
- The mummies are scary.

Super scary.

But being a cowboy,
whoo, doggy is fun!

Well, in that case, buckaroos,
I know what we gots to do.

Ride into the sunset, baby.